In this episode, I talk about how my kiddo's super bulky scarf is bringing me joy on this Super Bowl Sunday, which can be a tough day for those of us who love someone who suffers from addiction.
In this episode, I talk about how my kiddo's super bulky scarf is bringing me joy on this Super Bowl Sunday, which can be a tough day for those of us who love someone who suffers from addiction.
[instrumental intro music, upbeat with trills and bells
Music Credit: Ketsa, “Day Trips”]
Holly 00:30
Hi everyone! I am so excited to be talking with you. I'm sneaking this in on a Sunday afternoon. It's Super Bowl Sunday. If you're in the United States, you know this is a big, big weekend and usually a really tough weekend for anybody who loves somebody who's suffering from addiction. It’s one of those holiday weekends that, oh I don't know, over the course of my relationship with my partner who struggles with alcohol addiction, just became one of those weekends that I just really didn't look forward to. I'm not a sports fan, but even beyond that, I think it's just a tough weekend for anyone who loves someone who struggles with addiction. That's one of the challenges of this disease. It, you know, kind of sucks the fun out of a lot of the big holiday weekends.
Holly 01:30
But it is really lovely here today. It's sunny and it really feels like spring weather, which is kind of funny because the day started off with snow. I was kind of bracing myself for 3 to 6 inches, but that quickly turned into rain and so now it's just sunny and muddy. I'm taking that as a good sign so I just wanted to pop in and say hi.
Holly 01:58
It's been a little bit. I'm feeling much better and I wanted to thank you all for listening and for sharing some nice reviews. I was really touched by that. It really means a lot to me to have a feeling of community here and to know that I'm not alone. So I just wanted to thank you for that kindness. It's something that's very much appreciated.
Holly 02:28
I'll just begin by saying my normal spiel, which is that this is a podcast about knitting and making and recovery. Recovery for me is a 12-step program of Al-Anon, but I'm not speaking as somebody who is an official representative of Al-Anon. I am just speaking from my own personal experience and sharing strength and hope as I learn to change my ways and to recover and become a healthier and happier person. And knitting is a part of that for me.
Holly 03:08
As I said last time I was struggling a bit with depression and it was really getting kind of worrisome, but I decided to push myself to do some positive things that would help me with my mood including exercise. I know this but I never seem to remember it in those tough moments. But it worked again. It kind of kept me buoyant in some really dark moments and I'm feeling much more like myself, which is still kind of a glass is half-full kind of person but not necessarily feeling like the gray cloud the rain cloud is following me around all the time. I can appreciate the sun even on a day that's hard like today.
Holly 04:01
So I wanted to come in here and share some positive things that are happening that are knitting related. I wish I could tell you that my Christmas sweater was done but it's not. I did realize that.... it was just too short. It was really just unflatteringly cropped, which I know it is supposed to be a cropped sweater but I just really wasn't happy with it. And I had spent all this time doing this sewn tubular cast off that took forever. I was trying to talk myself into thinking that it worked but y'all it didn't work. And I just came to terms with that. And the other thing I noticed was that the sleeves were really, really short as well. They were ending right above my elbows so it was like a cropped sort of short sleeve sweater, which looks very very cute on most of the people-- all of the people who make it--but not for me for me (laughter) it did not look cute on me. So I decided that it's better to have something that is wearable and practical and fun and I've got nothing but time during this pandemic so why wouldn't I take advantage of the fact that I'm knitting a Christmas sweater in February, like 10 months before I would want to wear it? (laughter). Why not try to perfect it? So I ripped out the tubular cast off, I frogged it back, and used the same amount of yarn just now with straight stockinette.
Holly 05:57
So now I have to finish the ribbing. I don't know if I'm going to do the sewn cast off again. To be honest with you it was one of those things that was very fussy but I didn't like the look of it and I think that partly has to do with it the ribbing on the Betty and Judy Lodge sweater (which is what I'm knitting) is a twisted rib and I think I had not taken that into consideration when I was doing my cast off. So there's just something kind of weird about it. It's supposed to be a very stretchy bind off but it kind of wasn't. That's probably just my middle-aged pudge but it just wasn't working so I'm hoping to figure out a different cast off situation. But I still have two inches of twisted rib to now put on the edge of the sweater at the bottom and then I need to finish one sleeve’s colorwork right at the end. It has this really nice detail at the end so I have to do that on the one sleeve that's the right length and then I have to make sure that the other sleeve now matches. So I've got some work still to do on my Christmas sweater.
Holly 06:44
And then the other thing that I need to do is finish my second sock. I finished the first sock of my Prada intarsia pattern and they are looking very cool. It looks great and it fits great and it's super weird and I love it but now I need to finish the second sock. I knew that if I put this down I'm never going to cast it on again. So I just immediately cast it on, and got myself through the cuff, so I’m ready to start the intarsia section (not gonna lie it’s such a pain!) but I’m ready to rock and roll on that second sock.
Holly 07:26
But my real news is that my kid finished their first scarf! I'm so excited! it feels like such a monumental moment. It's just so cool and it looks really good, I have to say. I mean I did help with some sections of it. (laughter). You know if you're looking for a gateway project for a kiddo to learn knitting, even though it's crazy expensive, the loopy mango yarn every no number 5 is just kind of perfect. It’s like cotton candy. It’s super fluffy and super thick and I think it is literally super bulky yarn. The only downside is that it is wicked expensive but I bought it kind of like... do you remember layaway plans, way back in the 80s? That’s kind of how I did it. I like bought it one skein at a time because I wasn't quite sure if my kid was going to keep going with it and I didn't want to throw all this money at something they weren't invested in. I mean if I'm going to drop serious yarn bucks, then I’m going to be selfish about it. But I bought it for them like one ball at a time, one for Halloween presents or something like that, just little gifts like that. And the good news is that they've been working on it slowly and steadily and I have been practicing, what is it the 12th tradition or is it the 10th tradition… attraction not promotion. I have not done a forced march through the scarf. I really did let them work on it when they were into it. And the good news is that they finished it. THey Even wore it this morning when we took the dog out for a walk in the snow and it is absurd. It is so awesome but it's wide and fluffy and big and it's just like pure joy. It’s hot pink, turquoise, and navy. It is just awesome. I'm so proud of them.
Holly 09:31
And I even had to practice some moments of recovery because of course I have my perfectionism take over. I wanted to like fix it and you know they had a different vision. It was three colors so I was doing color blocking, sort of turquoise and navy then hot pink and I thought it looked really good. [laughter] But then my my kid wanted to have the hot pink balanced on both sides, which meant that I had to help them pick up and knit the other way. And this is where I got to practice some perfectionist tendencies , because of course I was like well you want to now extend something past the cast on edge and the way I would do that is probably cut that back, create a new piece of knitted fabric and then graph the two things together so that it was seamless. Or you could also just pick up and knit it. And they just looked at me like. “you're crazy!” Just pick up and knit it!” And of course you know in my head I was like, oh that's not going to look that great, it’s going to look kind of weird. But they’re 9 and they don't care! They just want a big fluffy scarf and they're just so impressed that they, like, made this thing and that they can design it and have it be exactly how they wanted to be, with hot pink on both ends!
Holly 11:01
What a great reminder that that is the joy of knitting. Even as I'm, like, complaining about my Christmas sweater, the truth is that I get to plan and make it be exactly how I want it to be. I'm always trying to make it be as perfect as I can with my skill-set. I'm always trying to challenge myself to keep growing and, you know, really learn how to make it look as good as possible . But the loopy mango scarf is such a good reminder that knitting is also supposed to be fun! And when I'm getting to the point where I am like acting as though this ridiculous Christmas sweater is, like, a burden, then I need to check myself a bit and try to find the joy in it.
Holly 11:54
So I'm going to end here. I just wanted to pop on and make sure that I was sending some good will out into the universe, especially to all of you who are living with somebody who suffers from addiction. Today is a hard day; it can be a really challenging day, and I just wanted to let you know you're not alone.
Holly 12:16
I hope that you have some really beautiful materials with you and that you're able to work on something that brings you joy and that maybe you can even let yourself take the easy way out today and just really celebrate whatever it is making you really, really happy and maybe not worry so much about all the details. Thank you again for spending some time with me today and I will talk to you soon.
Holly 12:45
Bye!
Music Outro [instrumental upbeat music with trills and bells]