{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":5.76,"endTime":8.4,"body":"Welcome to Questions from"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":5.76,"endTime":8.4,"body":"the Closet. I'm Ben Schilaty."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":8.58,"endTime":11.31,"body":"And I'm Charlie Bird."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":8.58,"endTime":11.31,"body":"Each episode we discuss a"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":11.31,"endTime":14.55,"body":"question that we commonly get"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":11.31,"endTime":14.55,"body":"asked as LGBTQ Latter-day"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":14.55,"endTime":15.12,"body":"Saints."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":15.57,"endTime":17.52,"body":"We're not trying to answer"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":15.57,"endTime":17.52,"body":"this question or come to a"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":17.52,"endTime":20.31,"body":"consensus, but simply sharing"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":17.52,"endTime":20.31,"body":"our perspectives. Today's"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":20.31,"endTime":23.31,"body":"question is, how do I reconcile"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":20.31,"endTime":23.31,"body":"my patriarchal blessing?"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":23.519,"endTime":26.099,"body":"So Ben and I are not"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":23.519,"endTime":26.099,"body":"terribly diverse, and we share"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":26.099,"endTime":29.579,"body":"many opinions and life"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":26.099,"endTime":29.579,"body":"experiences. For example, both"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":29.579,"endTime":32.489,"body":"of us love smoothies, and Jamba"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":29.579,"endTime":32.489,"body":"Juice is our favorite place to"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":32.489,"endTime":32.939,"body":"get one."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":33.23,"endTime":35.45,"body":"However, there are some"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":33.23,"endTime":35.45,"body":"pretty big differences. For"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":35.45,"endTime":38.12,"body":"example, Charlie's go to order"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":35.45,"endTime":38.12,"body":"his apples and grains, and I"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":38.12,"endTime":43.25,"body":"always get mega mango. And I"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":38.12,"endTime":43.25,"body":"gotta say, when I lived in"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":43.28,"endTime":45.2,"body":"Bellevue, Washington, when I was"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":43.28,"endTime":45.2,"body":"teaching middle school there, 10"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":45.2,"endTime":48.59,"body":"years ago, I would drive by two"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":45.2,"endTime":48.59,"body":"Jamba Juice on my way home, and"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":48.59,"endTime":51.26,"body":"I would often have the strength"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":48.59,"endTime":51.26,"body":"to not stop with the first one."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":51.41,"endTime":53.18,"body":"And I would stop at the second"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":51.41,"endTime":53.18,"body":"one. I got like three Jamba"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":53.18,"endTime":54.11,"body":"Juices every week."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":54.26,"endTime":56.39,"body":"Well, and especially if"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":54.26,"endTime":56.39,"body":"it's Thirsty Thursday, what can"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":56.39,"endTime":56.84,"body":"you do?"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":57.08,"endTime":59.57,"body":"I know. Charlie, what size"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":57.08,"endTime":59.57,"body":"do you usually get?"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":59.84,"endTime":61.79,"body":"I usually go medium,"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":59.84,"endTime":61.79,"body":"but I've been known to do the"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":61.79,"endTime":65.57,"body":"large. You know, I also like"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":61.79,"endTime":65.57,"body":"the, the orange carrot karma."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":65.93,"endTime":66.2,"body":"Okay."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":66.2,"endTime":66.77,"body":"It's pretty good."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":67.22,"endTime":70.13,"body":"So I did not like that one."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":67.22,"endTime":70.13,"body":"I have a friend when I was"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":70.13,"endTime":72.71,"body":"living in Tucson, and she loved"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":70.13,"endTime":72.71,"body":"it. When we would go to Jamba"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":72.71,"endTime":75.29,"body":"Juice together regularly. And so"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":72.71,"endTime":75.29,"body":"she told me to try it. We went"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":75.29,"endTime":78.56,"body":"like four times and the juicer"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":75.29,"endTime":78.56,"body":"was broken. And then finally it"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":78.56,"endTime":80.93,"body":"wasn't and I ordered it. I was"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":78.56,"endTime":80.93,"body":"like, all that hype for this"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":80.93,"endTime":83.36,"body":"thing. I don't think carrots"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":80.93,"endTime":83.36,"body":"should be drunk, they should be"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":83.39,"endTime":83.75,"body":"eaten."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":84.8,"endTime":86.99,"body":"I love it. We, we could"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":84.8,"endTime":86.99,"body":"probably talk about Jamba Juice"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":86.99,"endTime":89.09,"body":"all day, I really quite enjoy"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":86.99,"endTime":89.09,"body":"it. But uh..."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":89.75,"endTime":93.23,"body":"Also, as much as I love"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":89.75,"endTime":93.23,"body":"smoothies. My family didn't have"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":93.23,"endTime":94.82,"body":"a blender growing up, and we"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":93.23,"endTime":94.82,"body":"still don't have one. Like I've"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":94.82,"endTime":97.25,"body":"never owned a blender, a"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":94.82,"endTime":97.25,"body":"blender. So I've never made a"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":97.25,"endTime":97.67,"body":"smoothie."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":97.88,"endTime":99.38,"body":"Thank goodness for"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":97.88,"endTime":99.38,"body":"Jamba Juice."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":99.41,"endTime":99.77,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":100.02,"endTime":102.75,"body":"So we would like to"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":100.02,"endTime":102.75,"body":"provide a variety of voices and"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":102.75,"endTime":105.39,"body":"perspectives on our show. And"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":102.75,"endTime":105.39,"body":"today, we're joined by Dr."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":105.39,"endTime":108.0,"body":"Richard Bushman, could you tell"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":105.39,"endTime":108.0,"body":"us a little bit about yourself?"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":108.21,"endTime":111.54,"body":"Well, I'm"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":108.21,"endTime":111.54,"body":"sitting here in my study, where"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":111.54,"endTime":114.99,"body":"I essentially been sitting here"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":111.54,"endTime":114.99,"body":"for two and a half months. We"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":114.99,"endTime":118.11,"body":"rarely have gone out of the"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":114.99,"endTime":118.11,"body":"house. Riverside Park is right"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":118.11,"endTime":122.67,"body":"across the street. So we take a"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":118.11,"endTime":122.67,"body":"stroll there, but nowhere else,"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":122.73,"endTime":128.52,"body":"trying to keep away from all the"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":122.73,"endTime":128.52,"body":"bugs, that assault people,"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":128.52,"endTime":132.3,"body":"especially our age. I'm a little"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":128.52,"endTime":132.3,"body":"bit embarrassed to be in this"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":132.3,"endTime":136.83,"body":"company. I don't think I rank it"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":132.3,"endTime":136.83,"body":"for dinner I had not Jamba"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":136.83,"endTime":140.37,"body":"Juice, but just meatloaf and"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":136.83,"endTime":140.37,"body":"carrots and that doesn't seem to"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":140.37,"endTime":141.81,"body":"register in this crowd."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":142.65,"endTime":145.65,"body":"But did you eat the carrot"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":142.65,"endTime":145.65,"body":"or drink the carrot?"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":146.55,"endTime":148.5,"body":"Well, I"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":146.55,"endTime":148.5,"body":"crunched them. We do have a"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":148.5,"endTime":152.76,"body":"blender, but we never put"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":148.5,"endTime":152.76,"body":"carrots in them. So this is"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":152.76,"endTime":155.82,"body":"where I sit every day. Work on a"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":152.76,"endTime":155.82,"body":"book on Joseph Smith's gold"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":155.82,"endTime":159.87,"body":"plates, and have a lot of"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":155.82,"endTime":159.87,"body":"business to do online with the"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":159.9,"endTime":162.45,"body":"Center for Latter-day Saint"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":159.9,"endTime":162.45,"body":"arts, which has been going for"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":162.45,"endTime":166.56,"body":"about four years now. About to"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":162.45,"endTime":166.56,"body":"open a gallery in Lincoln Square"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":166.62,"endTime":170.55,"body":"at Broadway and 65th in the same"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":166.62,"endTime":170.55,"body":"building as the temple. So we'll"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":170.55,"endTime":173.49,"body":"soon have a place where"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":170.55,"endTime":173.49,"body":"Latter-day Saint art can be"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":173.49,"endTime":176.34,"body":"displayed right across the"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":173.49,"endTime":176.34,"body":"street from Lincoln Center."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":176.87,"endTime":179.36,"body":"For those of you who"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":176.87,"endTime":179.36,"body":"don't know, Richard Bushman is"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":179.36,"endTime":181.61,"body":"also the author of \"Joseph"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":179.36,"endTime":181.61,"body":"Smith, Rough Stone Rolling\"."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":181.7,"endTime":185.45,"body":"He's extremely intelligent, has"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":181.7,"endTime":185.45,"body":"a PhD from Harvard, and if I'm"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":185.45,"endTime":188.72,"body":"not mistaken, you're also a"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":185.45,"endTime":188.72,"body":"professor at Columbia, correct?"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":189.05,"endTime":192.5,"body":"Yeah, I'm"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":189.05,"endTime":192.5,"body":"retired. But I was. I'm an"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":192.5,"endTime":193.67,"body":"emeritus professor."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":193.799,"endTime":196.559,"body":"And he also happens to"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":193.799,"endTime":196.559,"body":"be a patriarch, which is why we"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":196.559,"endTime":199.409,"body":"have him joining with us on this"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":196.559,"endTime":199.409,"body":"specific episode of the show."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":199.9,"endTime":201.46,"body":"Yeah, so instead of talking"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":199.9,"endTime":201.46,"body":"to you about all the"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":201.46,"endTime":203.53,"body":"professional things that you've"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":201.46,"endTime":203.53,"body":"done, and all of your research,"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":203.53,"endTime":206.41,"body":"we're going to talk to you about"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":203.53,"endTime":206.41,"body":"your calling instead. And we're"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":206.41,"endTime":208.69,"body":"really excited about it. And we"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":206.41,"endTime":208.69,"body":"just want to say up front, that"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":208.69,"endTime":211.9,"body":"patriarchal blessings are"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":208.69,"endTime":211.9,"body":"personal, and they are sacred."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":212.2,"endTime":214.75,"body":"And we don't want anyone, we"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":212.2,"endTime":214.75,"body":"don't want to tell anyone how to"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":214.75,"endTime":218.11,"body":"interpret their blessing, or to"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":214.75,"endTime":218.11,"body":"take away the sacred nature of a"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":218.11,"endTime":220.9,"body":"blessing. And so we know they"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":218.11,"endTime":220.9,"body":"are their personal and sacred,"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":220.9,"endTime":223.42,"body":"and we want to talk about them"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":220.9,"endTime":223.42,"body":"in a way that, that is reverent"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":223.42,"endTime":224.11,"body":"and respectful."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":224.59,"endTime":226.3,"body":"This has actually been"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":224.59,"endTime":226.3,"body":"one of our most popular"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":226.3,"endTime":229.06,"body":"questions. And I think a lot of"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":226.3,"endTime":229.06,"body":"people have had to wrestle with"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":229.06,"endTime":232.69,"body":"this. Traditionally, members of"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":229.06,"endTime":232.69,"body":"the church come out a little bit"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":232.69,"endTime":235.21,"body":"later in life, and in many"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":232.69,"endTime":235.21,"body":"instances when they're in"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":235.21,"endTime":237.88,"body":"college or after a mission, or"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":235.21,"endTime":237.88,"body":"after they've been trying to"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":237.88,"endTime":240.85,"body":"date for a while. In fact, out"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":237.88,"endTime":240.85,"body":"of all the people I know, I"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":240.85,"endTime":244.3,"body":"can't really think of anyone who"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":240.85,"endTime":244.3,"body":"was out as gay when they"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":244.3,"endTime":246.97,"body":"received their patriarchal"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":244.3,"endTime":246.97,"body":"blessing. So yeah, this has been"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":247.0,"endTime":250.15,"body":"a really popular question. And"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":247.0,"endTime":250.15,"body":"I'm really excited to hear your"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":250.15,"endTime":253.48,"body":"insight and kind of share some"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":250.15,"endTime":253.48,"body":"of our stories as we spend this"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":253.48,"endTime":254.02,"body":"time together."},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":254.87,"endTime":257.18,"body":"Well, it's a,"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":254.87,"endTime":257.18,"body":"it's a big problem. And then you"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":257.18,"endTime":259.73,"body":"hit the nail right on the head."},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":257.18,"endTime":259.73,"body":"Of course, that's a problem for"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":259.88,"endTime":263.66,"body":"all kinds of people. I think, in"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":259.88,"endTime":263.66,"body":"New York, along with the problem"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":263.66,"endTime":268.19,"body":"the gays have there, all the men"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":263.66,"endTime":268.19,"body":"and women who were promised they"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":268.19,"endTime":272.3,"body":"would be married and at age 35"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":268.19,"endTime":272.3,"body":"they're not married, and they're"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":272.3,"endTime":275.99,"body":"beginning to wonder, \"Did I do"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":272.3,"endTime":275.99,"body":"something wrong? Can I trust my"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":275.99,"endTime":279.11,"body":"blessing?\" So it's a, it's an"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":275.99,"endTime":279.11,"body":"existential question."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":279.44,"endTime":282.59,"body":"Definitely. Richard, could"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":279.44,"endTime":282.59,"body":"you just explain to listeners"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":282.62,"endTime":284.03,"body":"what a patriarchal blessing is?"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":284.0,"endTime":287.9,"body":"Well, it goes"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":284.0,"endTime":287.9,"body":"way back into the 1830s. It"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":287.9,"endTime":290.99,"body":"began as a Father's blessing,"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":287.9,"endTime":290.99,"body":"hence the name patriarchal"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":290.99,"endTime":295.13,"body":"blessing. But there were so many"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":290.99,"endTime":295.13,"body":"people who didn't have fathers"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":295.28,"endTime":299.03,"body":"after they joined the church."},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":295.28,"endTime":299.03,"body":"That there was Joseph Smith"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":299.03,"endTime":303.11,"body":"appointed his own father to be a"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":299.03,"endTime":303.11,"body":"patriarch, to give blessings to"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":303.11,"endTime":308.06,"body":"people, in which he would speak"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":303.11,"endTime":308.06,"body":"about their purposes in life,"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":308.48,"endTime":311.6,"body":"giving them cautions, giving"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":308.48,"endTime":311.6,"body":"them admonitions giving them"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":311.66,"endTime":316.1,"body":"promises about what was possible"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":311.66,"endTime":316.1,"body":"for them. Very quickly became"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":316.13,"endTime":320.42,"body":"very popular. Has remained so"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":316.13,"endTime":320.42,"body":"down to this day. There is an"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":320.42,"endTime":323.06,"body":"interesting book by Jan Aris"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":320.42,"endTime":323.06,"body":"about people who are leaving the"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":323.06,"endTime":326.27,"body":"church. And she talked to some"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":323.06,"endTime":326.27,"body":"of these people, and they had"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":326.27,"endTime":329.81,"body":"many complaints, as you would"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":326.27,"endTime":329.81,"body":"imagine. But one of the things"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":329.81,"endTime":333.65,"body":"they truly treasured was their"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":329.81,"endTime":333.65,"body":"patriarchal blessing. It felt"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":333.65,"endTime":336.86,"body":"like something important had"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":333.65,"endTime":336.86,"body":"happened when they received that"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":336.86,"endTime":337.4,"body":"blessing."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":338.84,"endTime":340.91,"body":"When you were called to be"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":338.84,"endTime":340.91,"body":"a patriarch, what training did"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":340.91,"endTime":341.54,"body":"you receive?"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":341.69,"endTime":344.69,"body":"Minimal"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":341.69,"endTime":344.69,"body":"training. It's about like the"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":344.69,"endTime":347.81,"body":"kind of training a bishop"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":344.69,"endTime":347.81,"body":"receives. Yeah, you receive a"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":347.81,"endTime":351.56,"body":"handbook filled with all sorts"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":347.81,"endTime":351.56,"body":"of technical details, but it"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":351.56,"endTime":355.91,"body":"never answers the big questions,"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":351.56,"endTime":355.91,"body":"\"How do you do it?\" And you're"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":355.91,"endTime":358.43,"body":"encouraged to read other"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":355.91,"endTime":358.43,"body":"blessings. So you sort of get a"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":358.43,"endTime":361.55,"body":"feeling for the language that"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":358.43,"endTime":361.55,"body":"patriarchs in the past have"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":361.55,"endTime":366.05,"body":"used. And then you just have to"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":361.55,"endTime":366.05,"body":"plunge in. Claudia's, my wife's,"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":366.05,"endTime":369.92,"body":"father was a patriarch, and he"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":366.05,"endTime":369.92,"body":"had been very experienced in the"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":369.92,"endTime":373.4,"body":"church. But he didn't give a"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":369.92,"endTime":373.4,"body":"blessing for six months. He"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":373.4,"endTime":376.25,"body":"didn't dare give it. He was"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":373.4,"endTime":376.25,"body":"afraid he couldn't receive it."},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":376.85,"endTime":382.07,"body":"But the fact of the matter is"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":376.85,"endTime":382.07,"body":"lots of men, it is a man's job,"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":382.52,"endTime":387.05,"body":"receive training, they receive"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":382.52,"endTime":387.05,"body":"it as bishops, and stake"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":387.05,"endTime":391.43,"body":"presidents and counselors, when"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":387.05,"endTime":391.43,"body":"they set people apart. They're"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":391.43,"endTime":395.93,"body":"giving a blessing along with"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":391.43,"endTime":395.93,"body":"setting them apart for their job"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":395.93,"endTime":400.88,"body":"and their lives. And that kind"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":395.93,"endTime":400.88,"body":"of experience is the very best"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":400.88,"endTime":402.53,"body":"training there is for a"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":400.88,"endTime":402.53,"body":"patriarch."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":403.02,"endTime":405.48,"body":"So just giving blessings"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":403.02,"endTime":405.48,"body":"throughout your life in"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":405.48,"endTime":408.06,"body":"leadership callings, that"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":405.48,"endTime":408.06,"body":"prepares you to know how to give"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":408.06,"endTime":408.93,"body":"a patriarchal blessing."},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":409.05,"endTime":411.57,"body":"Yeah, you learn"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":409.05,"endTime":411.57,"body":"the the art of sort of listening"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":411.57,"endTime":414.63,"body":"to yourself, trying to find the"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":411.57,"endTime":414.63,"body":"good spots and what you really"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":414.63,"endTime":415.92,"body":"want to say to the person."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":417.07,"endTime":418.81,"body":"You know, I've never been"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":417.07,"endTime":418.81,"body":"called to be a patriarch, but"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":418.81,"endTime":421.54,"body":"that, the idea is actually"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":418.81,"endTime":421.54,"body":"terrifying to me, because giving"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":421.54,"endTime":423.28,"body":"a blessing to something that"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":421.54,"endTime":423.28,"body":"always kind of gives me a little"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":423.28,"endTime":427.9,"body":"bit of anxiety. Because when"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":423.28,"endTime":427.9,"body":"you're speaking to someone for"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":427.9,"endTime":431.5,"body":"God, that is just a terrifying"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":427.9,"endTime":431.5,"body":"thing. And you want to make sure"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":431.5,"endTime":434.32,"body":"that you don't say the wrong"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":431.5,"endTime":434.32,"body":"thing. And so I try and be"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":434.35,"endTime":436.69,"body":"really careful. But I feel like"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":434.35,"endTime":436.69,"body":"being a patriarch, giving a"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":436.69,"endTime":438.61,"body":"blessing that someone's gonna"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":436.69,"endTime":438.61,"body":"read and treasure for the rest"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":438.61,"endTime":441.31,"body":"of my life. It is just"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":438.61,"endTime":441.31,"body":"terrifying. That would terrify"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":441.31,"endTime":441.52,"body":"me."},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":442.36,"endTime":445.12,"body":"There's a huge"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":442.36,"endTime":445.12,"body":"amount of trust that's involved"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":445.12,"endTime":448.12,"body":"in this. People come to you."},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":445.12,"endTime":448.12,"body":"They sit across you at the"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":448.12,"endTime":451.96,"body":"table. They really want a"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":448.12,"endTime":451.96,"body":"blessing. They usually come when"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":451.96,"endTime":456.04,"body":"they have some need. And you,"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":451.96,"endTime":456.04,"body":"they're calling upon you, \"Give"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":456.04,"endTime":460.54,"body":"me the words I could live by.\""},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":456.04,"endTime":460.54,"body":"At the same time you have to"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":460.54,"endTime":464.62,"body":"trust yourself. Because being"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":460.54,"endTime":464.62,"body":"aware of that huge"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":464.62,"endTime":468.67,"body":"responsibility, how dare you"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":464.62,"endTime":468.67,"body":"open your mouth and squeak a"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":468.67,"endTime":472.99,"body":"word. But you have to say, I"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":468.67,"endTime":472.99,"body":"just have to say it, and believe"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":472.99,"endTime":475.18,"body":"that God will be with me when I"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":472.99,"endTime":475.18,"body":"speak."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":476.8,"endTime":479.32,"body":"So a lot of the people"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":476.8,"endTime":479.32,"body":"who have come to us and send us"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":479.32,"endTime":483.19,"body":"emails are gay members of the"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":479.32,"endTime":483.19,"body":"church who have come out after"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":483.19,"endTime":486.64,"body":"they received their patriarchal"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":483.19,"endTime":486.64,"body":"blessing. And they're feeling"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":486.64,"endTime":489.97,"body":"some friction or some conflict"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":486.64,"endTime":489.97,"body":"there. Because in this blessing,"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":489.97,"endTime":492.58,"body":"which traditionally these"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":489.97,"endTime":492.58,"body":"blessings are guidance and"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":492.58,"endTime":496.54,"body":"direction and like promises from"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":492.58,"endTime":496.54,"body":"the Lord. And their blessing"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":496.54,"endTime":499.57,"body":"will say that they'll be married"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":496.54,"endTime":499.57,"body":"in the temple and have children"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":499.57,"endTime":503.62,"body":"and raise a traditional family."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":499.57,"endTime":503.62,"body":"And then later they, they kind"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":503.62,"endTime":506.02,"body":"of recognize that they're gay"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":503.62,"endTime":506.02,"body":"and start to come to grips with"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":506.02,"endTime":509.83,"body":"that and there's some dissonance"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":506.02,"endTime":509.83,"body":"there. Well, at least for me,"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":509.83,"endTime":512.08,"body":"that's kind of mostly what I"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":509.83,"endTime":512.08,"body":"would like to talk about today."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":512.08,"endTime":514.15,"body":"Because I think that's a"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":512.08,"endTime":514.15,"body":"question that a lot of people"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":514.15,"endTime":517.0,"body":"have. And it's actually a"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":514.15,"endTime":517.0,"body":"question that I was working"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":517.0,"endTime":518.41,"body":"through for a while as well."},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":519.44,"endTime":521.96,"body":"Well, as I"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":519.44,"endTime":521.96,"body":"suggested at the beginning,"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":521.99,"endTime":527.24,"body":"it's, it's one critical example"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":521.99,"endTime":527.24,"body":"of a problem that a lot of"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":527.24,"endTime":531.53,"body":"people share. One time, I had to"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":527.24,"endTime":531.53,"body":"leave the Sacrament Meeting to,"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":531.83,"endTime":535.22,"body":"to give a blessing as I was"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":531.83,"endTime":535.22,"body":"leaving a young woman, I guess"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":535.22,"endTime":538.31,"body":"she was in her mid 30s came up"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":535.22,"endTime":538.31,"body":"and said, you know, \"Patriarch"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":538.31,"endTime":541.85,"body":"Bushman, you gave me a blessing"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":538.31,"endTime":541.85,"body":"15 years ago, and you promised"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":541.85,"endTime":546.5,"body":"me I'd be married. Since I'm now"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":541.85,"endTime":546.5,"body":"37 and I'm not married. Can you"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":546.5,"endTime":549.08,"body":"tell me what's what's"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":546.5,"endTime":549.08,"body":"happening?\" And this began to"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":549.08,"endTime":554.21,"body":"wear on me. So much so that for"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":549.08,"endTime":554.21,"body":"a time I was paralyzed, I didn't"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":554.24,"endTime":558.14,"body":"dare speak about marriage at"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":554.24,"endTime":558.14,"body":"all, in the blessing to anybody"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":558.2,"endTime":560.78,"body":"for fear, they wouldn't get"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":558.2,"endTime":560.78,"body":"married, or they were actually"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":560.78,"endTime":566.03,"body":"gay, or whatever. And I really"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":560.78,"endTime":566.03,"body":"was tongue tied. And I have a"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":566.03,"endTime":569.48,"body":"stake president who comes around"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":566.03,"endTime":569.48,"body":"to see me a lot to talk about"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":569.48,"endTime":573.14,"body":"blessings. He reads them all,"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":569.48,"endTime":573.14,"body":"every word. And they said, \"How"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":573.14,"endTime":575.54,"body":"come you're not talking about"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":573.14,"endTime":575.54,"body":"marriage?\" And I said, \"I can't."},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":576.29,"endTime":580.37,"body":"I'm afraid I will make a promise"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":576.29,"endTime":580.37,"body":"that will not be fulfilled. I"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":580.37,"endTime":583.55,"body":"just don't know what to do.\" And"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":580.37,"endTime":583.55,"body":"so you know, for a matter of"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":583.55,"endTime":589.1,"body":"months, I was really stuck with"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":583.55,"endTime":589.1,"body":"this problem yet I knew there"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":589.1,"endTime":592.28,"body":"were people who would marry and"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":589.1,"endTime":592.28,"body":"marriage would be a big part of"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":592.28,"endTime":596.27,"body":"their lives and, and I should"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":592.28,"endTime":596.27,"body":"speak about that. So once again,"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":596.27,"endTime":600.65,"body":"it became a matter of trusting"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":596.27,"endTime":600.65,"body":"myself. I just had to, what do"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":600.65,"endTime":602.66,"body":"you do when you give a blessing?"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":600.65,"endTime":602.66,"body":"You have all sorts of things"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":602.66,"endTime":605.54,"body":"sort of flowing through your"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":602.66,"endTime":605.54,"body":"minds and you gravitate to the"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":605.54,"endTime":609.08,"body":"ones that seem right. I seem"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":605.54,"endTime":609.08,"body":"drawn to the matter of marriage,"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":609.08,"endTime":614.3,"body":"I just say it and take the"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":609.08,"endTime":614.3,"body":"consequences. So I'm speaking"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":614.3,"endTime":617.27,"body":"from my point of view. You're"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":614.3,"endTime":617.27,"body":"speaking from your point of"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":617.27,"endTime":619.7,"body":"view. What do you do as a"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":617.27,"endTime":619.7,"body":"recipient of a blessing that"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":619.7,"endTime":623.27,"body":"promises you marriage with a"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":619.7,"endTime":623.27,"body":"beautiful girl God has preserved"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":623.27,"endTime":626.99,"body":"for you, and you'll have all"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":623.27,"endTime":626.99,"body":"sorts of kids, and your life"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":627.05,"endTime":629.51,"body":"ends up going in another"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":627.05,"endTime":629.51,"body":"direction?"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":630.65,"endTime":634.13,"body":"You know, for a lot of"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":630.65,"endTime":634.13,"body":"time, I felt like accepting my"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":634.13,"endTime":638.42,"body":"orientation was synonymous with"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":634.13,"endTime":638.42,"body":"giving up in the Gospel. There"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":638.42,"endTime":641.84,"body":"was tension there, because it"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":638.42,"endTime":641.84,"body":"made me feel like, like"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":641.84,"endTime":644.87,"body":"accepting who I am, which is"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":641.84,"endTime":644.87,"body":"something that's helped me grow"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":644.93,"endTime":648.83,"body":"spiritually and brought me so"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":644.93,"endTime":648.83,"body":"much closer to God was also"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":648.83,"endTime":653.12,"body":"like, in conflict with blessings"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":648.83,"endTime":653.12,"body":"promised in my patriarchal"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":653.12,"endTime":656.63,"body":"blessing. And it made me"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":653.12,"endTime":656.63,"body":"question like, \"Oh, wait, am I,"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":656.72,"endTime":659.96,"body":"am I on the right path for my"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":656.72,"endTime":659.96,"body":"life now that I'm openly gay,"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":659.96,"endTime":665.09,"body":"and not seeking relationships"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":659.96,"endTime":665.09,"body":"with women?\" Because, you know,"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":665.09,"endTime":668.15,"body":"my patriarchal blessing says a"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":665.09,"endTime":668.15,"body":"little bit differently. And"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":668.15,"endTime":671.42,"body":"honestly, if I can just share a"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":668.15,"endTime":671.42,"body":"personal experience real quick,"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":671.48,"endTime":674.15,"body":"I remember when I received my"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":671.48,"endTime":674.15,"body":"patriarchal blessing, I was"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":674.15,"endTime":677.3,"body":"actually kind of disappointed,"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":674.15,"endTime":677.3,"body":"because it was very confusing."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":677.36,"endTime":681.56,"body":"And I, I read it once I got the"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":677.36,"endTime":681.56,"body":"typed version. And I was like,"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":681.89,"endTime":685.55,"body":"none of this seems right for my"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":681.89,"endTime":685.55,"body":"life at all. There were a couple"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":685.55,"endTime":688.64,"body":"things I was like, I like that,"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":685.55,"endTime":688.64,"body":"I like this. But the rest of"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":688.64,"endTime":691.58,"body":"this, I have no idea what it's"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":688.64,"endTime":691.58,"body":"talking about. I ended up, I"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":691.58,"endTime":695.27,"body":"served, my mission came home was"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":691.58,"endTime":695.27,"body":"kind of growing into myself and"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":695.27,"endTime":698.48,"body":"being more honest about my"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":695.27,"endTime":698.48,"body":"attraction to men. And I came"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":698.48,"endTime":703.58,"body":"out as gay. And honestly, for"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":698.48,"endTime":703.58,"body":"four years, I did not read my"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":703.58,"endTime":706.91,"body":"patriarchal blessing because of"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":703.58,"endTime":706.91,"body":"this very matter. It just really"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":706.91,"endTime":710.57,"body":"stressed me out thinking about,"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":706.91,"endTime":710.57,"body":"well, what if I'm on the wrong"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":710.57,"endTime":713.9,"body":"path? Why does it talk about"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":710.57,"endTime":713.9,"body":"marriage to a woman, and it"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":713.9,"endTime":716.21,"body":"really confused me, so I just"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":713.9,"endTime":716.21,"body":"didn't look at it, it was just"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":716.21,"endTime":719.87,"body":"too painful. And I just shelved"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":716.21,"endTime":719.87,"body":"it for a long time. And this was"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":719.87,"endTime":722.84,"body":"actually a very recent"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":719.87,"endTime":722.84,"body":"experience, maybe two, maybe"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":722.84,"endTime":726.77,"body":"three months ago, I decided that"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":722.84,"endTime":726.77,"body":"I would read my patriarchal"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":726.77,"endTime":730.97,"body":"blessing. So I did, I took it"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":726.77,"endTime":730.97,"body":"out. And I went through it. And"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":731.06,"endTime":734.3,"body":"the first thing I noticed was"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":731.06,"endTime":734.3,"body":"that the way I had interpreted"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":734.3,"endTime":737.03,"body":"the line that I thought was"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":734.3,"endTime":737.03,"body":"about me being married to a"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":737.03,"endTime":741.71,"body":"woman and having kids in the"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":737.03,"endTime":741.71,"body":"temple, actually wasn't that cut"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":741.71,"endTime":744.62,"body":"and dried at all. And it was"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":741.71,"endTime":744.62,"body":"just kind of the way I was"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":744.62,"endTime":747.35,"body":"interpreting it because of you"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":744.62,"endTime":747.35,"body":"know, how I view the gospel and"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":747.35,"endTime":751.07,"body":"how I viewed patriarchal"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":747.35,"endTime":751.07,"body":"blessings. And you know, back in"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":751.07,"endTime":753.95,"body":"the day, when I got the"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":751.07,"endTime":753.95,"body":"blessing, I was so hoping that"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":753.95,"endTime":756.59,"body":"it would say that, because deep"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":753.95,"endTime":756.59,"body":"down, I knew I was gay. And I"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":756.59,"endTime":759.35,"body":"was kind of hoping that my"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":756.59,"endTime":759.35,"body":"patriarchal blessing would give"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":759.35,"endTime":762.02,"body":"me a little bit extra push to"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":759.35,"endTime":762.02,"body":"try to make it work with a girl."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":762.35,"endTime":765.62,"body":"And so it was really interesting"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":762.35,"endTime":765.62,"body":"to see looking back that, that's"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":765.62,"endTime":768.2,"body":"not even really what it says."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":765.62,"endTime":768.2,"body":"And I was kind of stressing out"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":768.2,"endTime":773.21,"body":"for four years for nothing. But"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":768.2,"endTime":773.21,"body":"also, it was incredible to see"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":773.3,"endTime":778.13,"body":"that all of the stuff that I was"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":773.3,"endTime":778.13,"body":"confused by, is now very, very,"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":778.22,"endTime":782.33,"body":"incredibly relevant to who I am"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":778.22,"endTime":782.33,"body":"now, and what I'm doing being"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":782.33,"endTime":785.66,"body":"openly gay and trying to hold on"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":782.33,"endTime":785.66,"body":"to my faith. So all of this"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":785.66,"endTime":789.83,"body":"counsel and guidance I received,"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":785.66,"endTime":789.83,"body":"that I pretty much disregarded"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":789.86,"endTime":793.67,"body":"when I was in the closet. Now"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":789.86,"endTime":793.67,"body":"that I'm out and kind of have a"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":793.67,"endTime":797.27,"body":"bigger picture of who I am and"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":793.67,"endTime":797.27,"body":"where God needs me to fit in his"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":797.27,"endTime":800.66,"body":"earthly kingdom, that"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":797.27,"endTime":800.66,"body":"information and those blessings"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":800.66,"endTime":803.24,"body":"are so relevant and valuable to"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":800.66,"endTime":803.24,"body":"me."},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":804.17,"endTime":806.3,"body":"That's"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":804.17,"endTime":806.3,"body":"immensely useful. That's a"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":806.3,"endTime":810.2,"body":"fabulous story. I hope you get"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":806.3,"endTime":810.2,"body":"that into your book somewhere."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":811.19,"endTime":814.01,"body":"Oh, the book's done."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":811.19,"endTime":814.01,"body":"It's not there. Maybe I'll write"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":814.01,"endTime":814.58,"body":"a new book."},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":814.61,"endTime":817.52,"body":"But, but let me"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":814.61,"endTime":817.52,"body":"ask you this, about that. Here"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":817.52,"endTime":821.63,"body":"are all these words, which you"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":817.52,"endTime":821.63,"body":"had read marriage into. Now"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":821.66,"endTime":824.81,"body":"you're reading something else"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":821.66,"endTime":824.81,"body":"into them. Do you feel like"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":824.81,"endTime":828.8,"body":"you're being true to those"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":824.81,"endTime":828.8,"body":"words? Are you really giving"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":828.8,"endTime":833.06,"body":"them a totally new meaning? How"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":828.8,"endTime":833.06,"body":"much sort of wrestling do you"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":833.06,"endTime":835.04,"body":"have to do to get those words to"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":833.06,"endTime":835.04,"body":"work for you?"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":835.27,"endTime":837.7,"body":"The last time I read my"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":835.27,"endTime":837.7,"body":"patriarchal blessing, there was"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":837.7,"endTime":841.18,"body":"no wrestle at all. And it was"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":837.7,"endTime":841.18,"body":"very clear to me, well, and and"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":841.18,"endTime":843.97,"body":"you know, another thing I think"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":841.18,"endTime":843.97,"body":"this is personal revelation, and"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":843.97,"endTime":847.06,"body":"we're counseled to read them"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":843.97,"endTime":847.06,"body":"prayerfully. And so I think"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":847.06,"endTime":849.91,"body":"it's, it's just a great practice"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":847.06,"endTime":849.91,"body":"in general to pray over your"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":849.91,"endTime":852.19,"body":"patriarchal blessing. So as I"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":849.91,"endTime":852.19,"body":"was going through it, I was"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":852.19,"endTime":854.59,"body":"praying about these specific"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":852.19,"endTime":854.59,"body":"parts that used to cause me a"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":854.59,"endTime":858.55,"body":"lot of friction. And I had very"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":854.59,"endTime":858.55,"body":"strong spiritual feelings that"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":858.73,"endTime":861.49,"body":"they were referring to certain"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":858.73,"endTime":861.49,"body":"family members and people in my"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":861.49,"endTime":865.81,"body":"life and female help meets that"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":861.49,"endTime":865.81,"body":"would help me get through the"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":865.81,"endTime":869.5,"body":"darkest times of my life, which"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":865.81,"endTime":869.5,"body":"is when I was really battling"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":869.5,"endTime":873.58,"body":"with myself, right before I came"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":869.5,"endTime":873.58,"body":"out. And so yeah, at least in my"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":873.58,"endTime":876.16,"body":"case, that conflict was"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":873.58,"endTime":876.16,"body":"completely gone as I prayed"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":876.16,"endTime":878.59,"body":"about it and kind of read it"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":876.16,"endTime":878.59,"body":"from a new perspective."},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":879.55,"endTime":881.8,"body":"That's"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":879.55,"endTime":881.8,"body":"wonderful. Have you met others"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":881.8,"endTime":884.23,"body":"who've had any experiences like"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":881.8,"endTime":884.23,"body":"that?"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":884.32,"endTime":887.02,"body":"Honestly, no, this, I"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":884.32,"endTime":887.02,"body":"think it's probably just because"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":887.05,"endTime":890.38,"body":"we don't really typically share"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":887.05,"endTime":890.38,"body":"our patriarchal blessings. It's"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":890.38,"endTime":891.85,"body":"usually personal, you know?"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":892.15,"endTime":894.13,"body":"Well, I"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":892.15,"endTime":894.13,"body":"frequently will tell people,"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":894.94,"endTime":898.3,"body":"only half of the inspiration"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":894.94,"endTime":898.3,"body":"comes at the point when a"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":898.3,"endTime":902.11,"body":"blessing is given because the"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":898.3,"endTime":902.11,"body":"patriarch is only given words."},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":902.14,"endTime":905.95,"body":"He just says the words. But it's"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":902.14,"endTime":905.95,"body":"the person who has to find out"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":905.95,"endTime":910.21,"body":"what those words mean, in actual"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":905.95,"endTime":910.21,"body":"life. So you have to be willing"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":910.21,"endTime":914.95,"body":"to sort of let events reveal to"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":910.21,"endTime":914.95,"body":"you what's really going on with"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":914.95,"endTime":915.67,"body":"those words."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":915.96,"endTime":918.24,"body":"Yeah. Interestingly, my"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":915.96,"endTime":918.24,"body":"story is different from"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":918.24,"endTime":920.55,"body":"Charlie's, but my patriarchal"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":918.24,"endTime":920.55,"body":"blessing doesn't say, I'm going"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":920.55,"endTime":923.31,"body":"to get married, although I did"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":920.55,"endTime":923.31,"body":"read that into it. But it does"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":923.31,"endTime":926.94,"body":"talk about the time when I'll be"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":923.31,"endTime":926.94,"body":"searching for a companion. And"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":926.97,"endTime":930.24,"body":"there's a, there's a line there."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":926.97,"endTime":930.24,"body":"That has really been my, what"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":930.24,"endTime":933.18,"body":"has guided me for the last 10"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":930.24,"endTime":933.18,"body":"years. It says \"to find someone"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":933.39,"endTime":935.07,"body":"who I can love who will love me"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":933.39,"endTime":935.07,"body":"in return.\""},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":935.07,"endTime":935.28,"body":"That's good."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":935.36,"endTime":937.94,"body":"And yeah, I thought, I"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":935.36,"endTime":937.94,"body":"mean, that's good advice for"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":937.94,"endTime":942.41,"body":"anybody. But I remember the last"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":937.94,"endTime":942.41,"body":"girl I tried to date, last woman"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":942.41,"endTime":946.4,"body":"I tried to date. And we finally"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":942.41,"endTime":946.4,"body":"broke up, I just realized, I"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":946.4,"endTime":949.94,"body":"didn't love her. Like I was"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":946.4,"endTime":949.94,"body":"trying to put something there"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":949.94,"endTime":953.57,"body":"that wasn't there. And so I've"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":949.94,"endTime":953.57,"body":"really never been in that"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":953.57,"endTime":956.36,"body":"situation where I, where I love"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":953.57,"endTime":956.36,"body":"someone who loved me back."},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":956.51,"endTime":959.48,"body":"So love is a"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":956.51,"endTime":959.48,"body":"good word. Love. You know what"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":959.48,"endTime":962.72,"body":"that means? That, that's a very,"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":959.48,"endTime":962.72,"body":"that's very helpful to me."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":963.41,"endTime":966.41,"body":"Richard would knowing"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":963.41,"endTime":966.41,"body":"someone was gay, when you give"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":966.41,"endTime":969.92,"body":"them the blessing change the way"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":966.41,"endTime":969.92,"body":"you talked about marriage?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":970.23,"endTime":972.33,"body":"Well, I think it'd"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":970.23,"endTime":972.33,"body":"certainly have an effect if I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":972.33,"endTime":978.57,"body":"knew the person was gay. But I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":972.33,"endTime":978.57,"body":"would hope that I would be able"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":978.57,"endTime":982.35,"body":"to listen to the language that's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":978.57,"endTime":982.35,"body":"given to me. Sometimes it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":982.5,"endTime":987.15,"body":"harder to give a blessing to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":982.5,"endTime":987.15,"body":"someone you know well than to a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":987.15,"endTime":992.55,"body":"complete stranger. As you try to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":987.15,"endTime":992.55,"body":"sort of shape your blessing to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":992.55,"endTime":997.05,"body":"what you think that person is or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":992.55,"endTime":997.05,"body":"should be. I think the fact is,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":997.05,"endTime":1001.1,"body":"I would use different language"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":997.05,"endTime":1001.1,"body":"if I knew the person was gay."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1001.4,"endTime":1005.42,"body":"But I hoped that it would not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1001.4,"endTime":1005.42,"body":"lead me away from the inspired"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1005.42,"endTime":1009.56,"body":"words. I, that's, that's so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1005.42,"endTime":1009.56,"body":"important to listen for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1009.56,"endTime":1010.4,"body":"inspiration."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1011.12,"endTime":1013.07,"body":"And Richard, this might be"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1011.12,"endTime":1013.07,"body":"a hard question to answer but"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1013.28,"endTime":1015.5,"body":"can you help us understand like,"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1013.28,"endTime":1015.5,"body":"what does it feel like to have"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1015.5,"endTime":1018.35,"body":"inspiration? Like, are you"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1015.5,"endTime":1018.35,"body":"getting words? Are they just"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1018.35,"endTime":1020.9,"body":"like, feel, like could you help"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1018.35,"endTime":1020.9,"body":"us understand what that feels"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1020.9,"endTime":1021.8,"body":"like when you're giving a"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1020.9,"endTime":1021.8,"body":"blessing?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1022.68,"endTime":1025.29,"body":"Well, I'll tell you a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1022.68,"endTime":1025.29,"body":"story. When I was first made"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1025.29,"endTime":1029.73,"body":"patriarch, I got, I'm a writer."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1025.29,"endTime":1029.73,"body":"So I always edit my writing. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1029.73,"endTime":1033.36,"body":"when I was first made patriarch,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1029.73,"endTime":1033.36,"body":"I would have tried to edit my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1033.36,"endTime":1037.05,"body":"writing, as I was speaking it."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1033.36,"endTime":1037.05,"body":"You know, something would come"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1037.05,"endTime":1041.04,"body":"to me, and then I would begin to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1037.05,"endTime":1041.04,"body":"reshape it or have reservations"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1041.04,"endTime":1045.15,"body":"and I wouldn't say it. And a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1041.04,"endTime":1045.15,"body":"general authority, Elder Kikuchi"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1045.69,"endTime":1049.47,"body":"came to visit us once and talk"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1045.69,"endTime":1049.47,"body":"to the two or three patriarchs"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1049.47,"endTime":1055.35,"body":"in our area. And he says, \"The"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1049.47,"endTime":1055.35,"body":"brethren have one thing to tell"},{"speaker":"you","startTime":1055.65,"endTime":1063.57,"body":"Give voice to the Spirit of"},{"speaker":"you","startTime":1055.65,"endTime":1063.57,"body":"Prophecy.\" And so I realized"},{"speaker":"you","startTime":1063.57,"endTime":1067.74,"body":"that I just have to learn to"},{"speaker":"you","startTime":1063.57,"endTime":1067.74,"body":"listen to that voice and just"},{"speaker":"you","startTime":1068.1,"endTime":1072.51,"body":"let it go. And I have various"},{"speaker":"you","startTime":1068.1,"endTime":1072.51,"body":"images in my mind. One is"},{"speaker":"you","startTime":1072.51,"endTime":1078.27,"body":"searching. I'm sort of like, I'm"},{"speaker":"you","startTime":1072.51,"endTime":1078.27,"body":"in a room and I'm looking all"},{"speaker":"you","startTime":1078.27,"endTime":1083.37,"body":"around the room, looking for the"},{"speaker":"you","startTime":1078.27,"endTime":1083.37,"body":"space, where I should stop, and"},{"speaker":"you","startTime":1083.37,"endTime":1087.63,"body":"pay attention to what's there."},{"speaker":"you","startTime":1083.37,"endTime":1087.63,"body":"And sometimes near the end of"},{"speaker":"you","startTime":1087.63,"endTime":1092.04,"body":"the blessing, I'll pause for,"},{"speaker":"you","startTime":1087.63,"endTime":1092.04,"body":"you know, 10 or 20 seconds. I"},{"speaker":"you","startTime":1092.04,"endTime":1094.74,"body":"keep examining the room to see"},{"speaker":"you","startTime":1092.04,"endTime":1094.74,"body":"if there's anything more and"},{"speaker":"you","startTime":1094.74,"endTime":1096.69,"body":"sometimes I'll have the feeling"},{"speaker":"you","startTime":1094.74,"endTime":1096.69,"body":"there's something more and I"},{"speaker":"you","startTime":1096.69,"endTime":1101.43,"body":"can't figure out what it is. And"},{"speaker":"you","startTime":1096.69,"endTime":1101.43,"body":"I say something to that effect."},{"speaker":"you","startTime":1102.3,"endTime":1107.31,"body":"But it is, it is the familiar"},{"speaker":"you","startTime":1102.3,"endTime":1107.31,"body":"feeling that this is right. This"},{"speaker":"you","startTime":1107.31,"endTime":1111.27,"body":"is what should be said. And then"},{"speaker":"you","startTime":1107.31,"endTime":1111.27,"body":"you just feel it's right. It's"},{"speaker":"you","startTime":1111.3,"endTime":1115.08,"body":"partly reason. But it's partly"},{"speaker":"you","startTime":1111.3,"endTime":1115.08,"body":"just a sense that everything"},{"speaker":"you","startTime":1115.41,"endTime":1119.04,"body":"falls into place. This is what"},{"speaker":"you","startTime":1115.41,"endTime":1119.04,"body":"should be, should be said."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1119.67,"endTime":1121.29,"body":"So as you're giving a"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1119.67,"endTime":1121.29,"body":"blessing, you might have this"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1121.29,"endTime":1123.39,"body":"like feeling or strong"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1121.29,"endTime":1123.39,"body":"impression that this person will"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1123.39,"endTime":1126.27,"body":"get married. And then you'll put"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1123.39,"endTime":1126.27,"body":"that into words as you're giving"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1126.27,"endTime":1126.81,"body":"the blessing."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1127.92,"endTime":1130.5,"body":"For me, it'd be more"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1127.92,"endTime":1130.5,"body":"like I need to talk to this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1130.5,"endTime":1135.48,"body":"person about marriage. And then"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1130.5,"endTime":1135.48,"body":"I just start talking. It sort of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1135.48,"endTime":1140.61,"body":"flows once I get into the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1135.48,"endTime":1140.61,"body":"subject and the stream starts,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1140.61,"endTime":1142.35,"body":"and I just say whatever words"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1140.61,"endTime":1142.35,"body":"come."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1142.78,"endTime":1144.82,"body":"There's an experience I had"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1142.78,"endTime":1144.82,"body":"that I wonder if you've had a"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1144.82,"endTime":1148.15,"body":"similar experience where I was"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1144.82,"endTime":1148.15,"body":"giving a good friend a blessing."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1148.48,"endTime":1151.63,"body":"And I felt prompted to say"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1148.48,"endTime":1151.63,"body":"something three times. And I"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1151.63,"endTime":1155.53,"body":"didn't do it. I hesitated and I"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1151.63,"endTime":1155.53,"body":"didn't do it. And then as soon"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1155.53,"endTime":1159.34,"body":"as the blessing was over, I told"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1155.53,"endTime":1159.34,"body":"this friend, that thing that I"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1159.37,"endTime":1162.76,"body":"had been prompted to say and"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1159.37,"endTime":1162.76,"body":"didn't say. And, are there ever"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1162.76,"endTime":1165.28,"body":"times when you feel like you,"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1162.76,"endTime":1165.28,"body":"you shouldn't say something and"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1165.28,"endTime":1167.77,"body":"then you just like hesitate and"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1165.28,"endTime":1167.77,"body":"can't or don't?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1168.58,"endTime":1173.68,"body":"Yes, not too often, but"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1168.58,"endTime":1173.68,"body":"occasionally. But the last time"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1173.68,"endTime":1176.44,"body":"I was interviewed by general"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1173.68,"endTime":1176.44,"body":"authority because they do talk"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1176.44,"endTime":1179.68,"body":"to patriarchs every once in a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1176.44,"endTime":1179.68,"body":"while. He said, \"You are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1179.68,"endTime":1184.9,"body":"licensed to rewrite your own"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1179.68,"endTime":1184.9,"body":"blessings when you're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1184.9,"endTime":1188.5,"body":"transcribing them. Don't feel"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1184.9,"endTime":1188.5,"body":"like you, the words you're given"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1188.5,"endTime":1192.31,"body":"in that moment, are golden and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1188.5,"endTime":1192.31,"body":"you gotta stick with them. If"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1192.31,"endTime":1195.34,"body":"you feel a better way to say"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1192.31,"endTime":1195.34,"body":"something, say it.\""},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1196.78,"endTime":1199.84,"body":"If someone is"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1196.78,"endTime":1199.84,"body":"struggling with a specific part"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1199.87,"endTime":1203.38,"body":"of their blessing? Is it like"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1199.87,"endTime":1203.38,"body":"okay to just disregard that part"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1203.38,"endTime":1205.21,"body":"for a little bit and focus on"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1203.38,"endTime":1205.21,"body":"the rest of it?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1205.66,"endTime":1209.14,"body":"Oh, absolutely. I think"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1205.66,"endTime":1209.14,"body":"it's good as long as my view"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1209.14,"endTime":1213.76,"body":"that events are revelation, as"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1209.14,"endTime":1213.76,"body":"much as words, and that you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1213.76,"endTime":1219.34,"body":"don't really understand what is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1213.76,"endTime":1219.34,"body":"meant until the event occurs,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1219.34,"endTime":1223.6,"body":"and then suddenly, the words"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1219.34,"endTime":1223.6,"body":"will fall, fall into place. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1223.6,"endTime":1226.6,"body":"actually think that's true for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1223.6,"endTime":1226.6,"body":"the church. I think we are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1226.6,"endTime":1231.52,"body":"learning from history how to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1226.6,"endTime":1231.52,"body":"deal with gay people. We have to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1231.52,"endTime":1236.11,"body":"have an actual experience of it."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1231.52,"endTime":1236.11,"body":"And then we begin to figure out"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1236.11,"endTime":1240.82,"body":"what it's like. And the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1236.11,"endTime":1240.82,"body":"experience will probably precede"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1241.0,"endTime":1245.05,"body":"the words or the policies or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1241.0,"endTime":1245.05,"body":"whatever. That's certainly true"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1245.05,"endTime":1249.1,"body":"with history. We learn from"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1245.05,"endTime":1249.1,"body":"history, to be candid about our"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1249.1,"endTime":1252.58,"body":"history, to be transparent. For"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1249.1,"endTime":1252.58,"body":"years and years, we tried to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1252.58,"endTime":1256.66,"body":"keep it all tight, clean, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1252.58,"endTime":1256.66,"body":"tidy. And we've learn that does"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1256.66,"endTime":1260.77,"body":"not work. It leads to miseries."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1256.66,"endTime":1260.77,"body":"So we've, we've now learned to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1260.77,"endTime":1264.58,"body":"be transparent about our"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1260.77,"endTime":1264.58,"body":"history. And it was a lesson we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1264.58,"endTime":1267.79,"body":"should have known all along, but"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1264.58,"endTime":1267.79,"body":"we didn't. But then we learned"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1267.79,"endTime":1271.3,"body":"it. And I think we're going to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1267.79,"endTime":1271.3,"body":"learn a lot of things."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1271.75,"endTime":1275.92,"body":"Let's say that there was a"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1271.75,"endTime":1275.92,"body":"person who got two patriarchal"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1275.92,"endTime":1278.56,"body":"blessings from two different"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1275.92,"endTime":1278.56,"body":"patriarchs. How similar do you"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1278.56,"endTime":1279.52,"body":"think those blessings would be?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1280.57,"endTime":1283.33,"body":"There are faith"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1280.57,"endTime":1283.33,"body":"promoting stories of people who"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1283.42,"endTime":1289.51,"body":"say, you know, word for word, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1283.42,"endTime":1289.51,"body":"had two. I don't think so. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1289.51,"endTime":1293.5,"body":"don't think so. I think the Lord"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1289.51,"endTime":1293.5,"body":"is able to reveal things through"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1293.5,"endTime":1298.93,"body":"me because of the way my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1293.5,"endTime":1298.93,"body":"internal life is structured that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1298.93,"endTime":1302.8,"body":"he couldn't deliver, reveal to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1298.93,"endTime":1302.8,"body":"someone else. And the other way"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1302.8,"endTime":1306.85,"body":"around. I think it's true for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1302.8,"endTime":1306.85,"body":"our prophets at the very top of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1306.85,"endTime":1310.96,"body":"the church. That prophets who"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1306.85,"endTime":1310.96,"body":"have special missions, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1310.96,"endTime":1314.38,"body":"they're able to receive those"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1310.96,"endTime":1314.38,"body":"words, and they, that's their"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1314.38,"endTime":1320.41,"body":"mission to carry that out. So I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1314.38,"endTime":1320.41,"body":"think patriarchs are very much"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1320.53,"endTime":1325.99,"body":"enmeshed in a culture and in a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1320.53,"endTime":1325.99,"body":"temperament. And some could do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1326.02,"endTime":1328.54,"body":"some things superbly well and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1326.02,"endTime":1328.54,"body":"not others."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1328.78,"endTime":1331.63,"body":"Would it be fair to say"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1328.78,"endTime":1331.63,"body":"that a patriarchal blessing is a"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1331.63,"endTime":1335.77,"body":"combination of a view of the"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1331.63,"endTime":1335.77,"body":"patriarchs life and experience"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1335.8,"endTime":1338.74,"body":"and words, and inspiration from"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1335.8,"endTime":1338.74,"body":"God? Is that what I'm hearing"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1338.74,"endTime":1339.13,"body":"you say?"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":1339.61,"endTime":1340.03,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1340.45,"endTime":1342.46,"body":"You're not just a fax"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1340.45,"endTime":1342.46,"body":"machine that God puts words into"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1342.46,"endTime":1342.58,"body":"it?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1342.67,"endTime":1345.16,"body":"No. I don't think any"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1342.67,"endTime":1345.16,"body":"revelation, I don't think the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1345.16,"endTime":1349.24,"body":"revelation of the prophets are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1345.16,"endTime":1349.24,"body":"fax machines. They are what he"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1349.24,"endTime":1352.69,"body":"can reveal to them. They have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1349.24,"endTime":1352.69,"body":"their own temperament, and their"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1352.69,"endTime":1357.43,"body":"own possibilities for disclosing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1352.69,"endTime":1357.43,"body":"the truth of God. That's why we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1357.43,"endTime":1358.57,"body":"have so many prophets."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1358.9,"endTime":1361.75,"body":"Well and to that I feel"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1358.9,"endTime":1361.75,"body":"like when I feel inspired, God"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1361.75,"endTime":1366.19,"body":"usually inspires me through"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1361.75,"endTime":1366.19,"body":"existing language and ideas that"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1366.19,"endTime":1371.02,"body":"I've already developed. And"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1366.19,"endTime":1371.02,"body":"there are rare occasions, when I"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1371.02,"endTime":1373.54,"body":"feel like I'll get a completely"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1371.02,"endTime":1373.54,"body":"new thought or something that"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1373.54,"endTime":1377.41,"body":"just like, out there that I that"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1373.54,"endTime":1377.41,"body":"I haven't, you know, dealt with"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1377.41,"endTime":1380.41,"body":"before. But most of the time, I"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1377.41,"endTime":1380.41,"body":"feel like God uses my existing"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1380.41,"endTime":1383.14,"body":"experiences to give me"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1380.41,"endTime":1383.14,"body":"revelation. Does that make"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1383.14,"endTime":1383.68,"body":"sense?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1385.01,"endTime":1389.45,"body":"It does, especially to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1385.01,"endTime":1389.45,"body":"me. I mean, people describe"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1389.45,"endTime":1393.29,"body":"their revelations differently."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1389.45,"endTime":1393.29,"body":"But some people think of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1393.62,"endTime":1398.03,"body":"revelation as an intrusion. That"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1393.62,"endTime":1398.03,"body":"is your thing, your way and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1398.03,"endTime":1402.95,"body":"suddenly, there comes something"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1398.03,"endTime":1402.95,"body":"from outside you, into you that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1402.95,"endTime":1405.98,"body":"you would never have thought of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1402.95,"endTime":1405.98,"body":"on your own. It's totally"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1406.13,"endTime":1409.91,"body":"foreign and alien you're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1406.13,"endTime":1409.91,"body":"thinking. And so you say God has"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1410.18,"endTime":1414.95,"body":"intervened in my life and said"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1410.18,"endTime":1414.95,"body":"this to me. I personally believe"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1414.95,"endTime":1419.93,"body":"in infusion that is, I want God"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1414.95,"endTime":1419.93,"body":"to be working through my mind"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1420.02,"endTime":1424.34,"body":"all the time. When I'm writing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1420.02,"endTime":1424.34,"body":"Joseph Smith, Rough Stone"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1424.34,"endTime":1429.35,"body":"Rolling, I needed inspiration"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1424.34,"endTime":1429.35,"body":"all the time I needed every time"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1429.35,"endTime":1432.53,"body":"I wrote a word every time I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1429.35,"endTime":1432.53,"body":"interpreted the document. And I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1432.53,"endTime":1435.11,"body":"think that's the way"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1432.53,"endTime":1435.11,"body":"administration the church works."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1435.53,"endTime":1439.97,"body":"We don't just have section 76."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1435.53,"endTime":1439.97,"body":"But we have counselors, talking"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1439.97,"endTime":1445.46,"body":"to bishops and working out"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1439.97,"endTime":1445.46,"body":"policies. And we, we need the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1445.52,"endTime":1449.57,"body":"inspiration and the intelligence"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1445.52,"endTime":1449.57,"body":"of God working in our minds all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1449.57,"endTime":1452.9,"body":"the time, all the time. That's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1449.57,"endTime":1452.9,"body":"what our goal should be."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1453.65,"endTime":1456.59,"body":"Is it safe to say that"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1453.65,"endTime":1456.59,"body":"a patriarch does his best to"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1456.59,"endTime":1459.86,"body":"communicate information that God"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1456.59,"endTime":1459.86,"body":"wants to communicate through"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1459.92,"endTime":1462.32,"body":"kind of like the lens and"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1459.92,"endTime":1462.32,"body":"conduit of his own personal"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1462.32,"endTime":1463.13,"body":"experiences?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1464.05,"endTime":1466.45,"body":"I think it's inevitable"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1464.05,"endTime":1466.45,"body":"how, I don't think it would be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1466.45,"endTime":1470.74,"body":"otherwise. If they're really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1466.45,"endTime":1470.74,"body":"good. And I'm sure I don't count"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1470.74,"endTime":1473.62,"body":"myself as among the really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1470.74,"endTime":1473.62,"body":"righteous, but I think every"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1473.62,"endTime":1479.71,"body":"time I am, make an effort, I get"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1473.62,"endTime":1479.71,"body":"more. I get things clearer but"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1479.71,"endTime":1482.95,"body":"it still is mine. It still is my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1479.71,"endTime":1482.95,"body":"version of things."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1484.21,"endTime":1485.92,"body":"Well, I'm just thinking"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1484.21,"endTime":1485.92,"body":"about the scriptures right now,"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1485.92,"endTime":1489.1,"body":"specifically, the Book of"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1485.92,"endTime":1489.1,"body":"Mormon. The way I used to read"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1489.1,"endTime":1494.71,"body":"the Book of Mormon was very kind"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1489.1,"endTime":1494.71,"body":"of one-sided. And I used to read"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1494.71,"endTime":1498.16,"body":"it through like a certain lens."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1494.71,"endTime":1498.16,"body":"But as I grew up and became more"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1498.16,"endTime":1501.55,"body":"mature and understood more about"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1498.16,"endTime":1501.55,"body":"who I am  and my romantic"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1501.55,"endTime":1504.43,"body":"attraction and you know all of"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1501.55,"endTime":1504.43,"body":"this, just the experience of"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1504.46,"endTime":1509.14,"body":"being a gay disciple of Christ,"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1504.46,"endTime":1509.14,"body":"it kind of opened my mind to new"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1509.14,"endTime":1512.62,"body":"interpretations of the Book of"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1509.14,"endTime":1512.62,"body":"Mormon. That's kind of a theme"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1512.62,"endTime":1514.87,"body":"I'm seeing a little bit in this"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1512.62,"endTime":1514.87,"body":"conversation, at least that I'm"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1514.87,"endTime":1518.2,"body":"going to take away, that if, if"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1514.87,"endTime":1518.2,"body":"a patriarchal blessing is"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1518.2,"endTime":1522.01,"body":"personal scripture, the meaning"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1518.2,"endTime":1522.01,"body":"of it can change over time. And"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1522.01,"endTime":1525.31,"body":"I can find new little nuggets in"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1522.01,"endTime":1525.31,"body":"different ways as I pray about"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1525.31,"endTime":1528.37,"body":"it and read it differently. And"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1525.31,"endTime":1528.37,"body":"if there are things that cause"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1528.37,"endTime":1533.02,"body":"me conflict, I can either choose"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1528.37,"endTime":1533.02,"body":"to work through those, or I can"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1533.08,"endTime":1536.41,"body":"wait and both of those are okay"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1533.08,"endTime":1536.41,"body":"things to do, depending on how I"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1536.41,"endTime":1538.24,"body":"feel and how the spirit prompts"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1536.41,"endTime":1538.24,"body":"me."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1539.54,"endTime":1542.63,"body":"And just thinking back on"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1539.54,"endTime":1542.63,"body":"my own blessing, like, I'd never"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1542.63,"endTime":1544.82,"body":"met the patriarch who gave me my"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1542.63,"endTime":1544.82,"body":"patriarchal blessing when I was"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1544.82,"endTime":1548.18,"body":"17. And it's amazing how this"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1544.82,"endTime":1548.18,"body":"person who had never talked to"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1548.18,"endTime":1551.72,"body":"me produced this document that"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1548.18,"endTime":1551.72,"body":"has been such a guiding light"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1551.93,"endTime":1553.31,"body":"and source of inspiration in my"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1551.93,"endTime":1553.31,"body":"life."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1553.51,"endTime":1556.42,"body":"Well, this is actually"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1553.51,"endTime":1556.42,"body":"humbling in my case, because as"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1556.54,"endTime":1559.93,"body":"you can tell, I say, \"Well, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1556.54,"endTime":1559.93,"body":"when I bless you, I'm just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1559.93,"endTime":1564.61,"body":"giving you sort of my version of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1559.93,"endTime":1564.61,"body":"your life, and hope it works"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1564.61,"endTime":1570.34,"body":"out.\" My own blessing was a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1564.61,"endTime":1570.34,"body":"blueprint. It was just amazing."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1570.34,"endTime":1574.09,"body":"It said I'd be a scholar, a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1570.34,"endTime":1574.09,"body":"teacher, and educator. I was 14"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1574.09,"endTime":1578.35,"body":"years old, just barely into high"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1574.09,"endTime":1578.35,"body":"school. So it's sort of a rebuke"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1578.35,"endTime":1582.31,"body":"to my kind of liberal version of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1578.35,"endTime":1582.31,"body":"things that I just do the best"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1582.31,"endTime":1585.28,"body":"as I can, as a patriarch to tell"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1582.31,"endTime":1585.28,"body":"you what I can. You know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1585.28,"endTime":1590.02,"body":"there's always the possibility"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1585.28,"endTime":1590.02,"body":"if I were truly a righteous man"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1590.59,"endTime":1595.45,"body":"just in the Lord's hands every"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1590.59,"endTime":1595.45,"body":"second of every day, I could do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1595.45,"endTime":1599.68,"body":"a better job. But I have to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1595.45,"endTime":1599.68,"body":"trust myself, I just have to do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1600.13,"endTime":1602.02,"body":"what I do best as I can."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1602.35,"endTime":1605.53,"body":"You know, I also think"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1602.35,"endTime":1605.53,"body":"it's helpful to realize that God"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1605.53,"endTime":1609.61,"body":"is not going to force a blessing"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1605.53,"endTime":1609.61,"body":"on us that we don't want. He'll"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1609.61,"endTime":1613.87,"body":"never infringe on our agency. So"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1609.61,"endTime":1613.87,"body":"in my case, I think about, I"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1613.87,"endTime":1616.42,"body":"really feel so uncomfortable"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1613.87,"endTime":1616.42,"body":"with the thought of being"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1616.42,"endTime":1621.34,"body":"married to a woman. Like, I"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1616.42,"endTime":1621.34,"body":"don't want that. And I don't"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1621.34,"endTime":1625.42,"body":"think, like if I'm righteous and"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1621.34,"endTime":1625.42,"body":"good and seeking good things, I"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1625.42,"endTime":1629.05,"body":"don't think God is going to"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1625.42,"endTime":1629.05,"body":"force that blessing on anyone if"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1629.05,"endTime":1631.15,"body":"it's something that, that"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1629.05,"endTime":1631.15,"body":"doesn't sit right."},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":1631.48,"endTime":1632.92,"body":"Well, I don't"},{"speaker":"Richard Bushman","startTime":1631.48,"endTime":1632.92,"body":"either."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1633.43,"endTime":1635.92,"body":"Richard I have a question"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1633.43,"endTime":1635.92,"body":"for you that that came up a few"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1635.92,"endTime":1639.61,"body":"episodes ago. We had Becky"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1635.92,"endTime":1639.61,"body":"McIntosh on. She's a mother of a"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1639.61,"endTime":1644.68,"body":"gay son. And he came out to her"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1639.61,"endTime":1644.68,"body":"when he was 23 or 24. And in"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1644.68,"endTime":1647.29,"body":"their first conversation, she"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1644.68,"endTime":1647.29,"body":"said, \"Go get your patriarchal"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1647.29,"endTime":1649.24,"body":"blessing. It says you're going"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1647.29,"endTime":1649.24,"body":"to marry a woman, you're going"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1649.24,"endTime":1653.17,"body":"to marry a woman.\" What would"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1649.24,"endTime":1653.17,"body":"you say to like a mom who says,"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1653.2,"endTime":1656.35,"body":"you know, \"My child's blessing"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1653.2,"endTime":1656.35,"body":"says that they're going to have"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1656.35,"endTime":1659.53,"body":"this this future\"? Do you have"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1656.35,"endTime":1659.53,"body":"any advice or counsel for them"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1659.56,"endTime":1661.96,"body":"without giving them of course an"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1659.56,"endTime":1661.96,"body":"answer, interpreting someone"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1661.96,"endTime":1662.47,"body":"else's blessing,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1663.34,"endTime":1667.57,"body":"I would say to her that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1663.34,"endTime":1667.57,"body":"the blessing was given to your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1667.57,"endTime":1672.07,"body":"son, and he is the one who has"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1667.57,"endTime":1672.07,"body":"to understand what it means. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1672.1,"endTime":1675.85,"body":"he may understand it in a way"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1672.1,"endTime":1675.85,"body":"that doesn't necessarily agree"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1675.85,"endTime":1678.61,"body":"with the way you would"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1675.85,"endTime":1678.61,"body":"understand it. And so you just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1678.61,"endTime":1682.33,"body":"have to be patiently wait for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1678.61,"endTime":1682.33,"body":"him to find out what it means"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1682.33,"endTime":1682.87,"body":"for him."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1682.93,"endTime":1685.0,"body":"So let the person who"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1682.93,"endTime":1685.0,"body":"received the blessing, figure"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1685.0,"endTime":1685.81,"body":"out what it means."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1686.2,"endTime":1688.9,"body":"Yeah. She may say it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1686.2,"endTime":1688.9,"body":"as plain as the nose on your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1688.9,"endTime":1692.98,"body":"face. But the fact is, nothing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1688.9,"endTime":1692.98,"body":"is plain if you really think"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1692.98,"endTime":1697.0,"body":"about it. All words can have a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1692.98,"endTime":1697.0,"body":"variety of meanings. That's the,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1697.0,"endTime":1700.03,"body":"actually that's the beauty of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1697.0,"endTime":1700.03,"body":"Scripture is words that are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1700.03,"endTime":1703.57,"body":"given of God can be used by"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1700.03,"endTime":1703.57,"body":"millions of people in millions"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1703.57,"endTime":1708.61,"body":"of situations. And they can work"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1703.57,"endTime":1708.61,"body":"to inspire and guide them."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1709.75,"endTime":1713.59,"body":"Terrific questions. It's really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1709.75,"endTime":1713.59,"body":"been enjoyable to talk to you. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1713.59,"endTime":1715.15,"body":"really have enjoyed every"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1713.59,"endTime":1715.15,"body":"minute."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1715.87,"endTime":1718.96,"body":"Ahh. Well, the pleasure is"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1715.87,"endTime":1718.96,"body":"all ours. Thank you for joining"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1718.96,"endTime":1721.51,"body":"us today. Please remember that"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1718.96,"endTime":1721.51,"body":"we do not represent the Church"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1721.51,"endTime":1723.55,"body":"of Jesus Christ of Latter-day"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1721.51,"endTime":1723.55,"body":"Saints or Brigham Young"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1723.55,"endTime":1726.46,"body":"University. We are not trying to"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1723.55,"endTime":1726.46,"body":"be prescriptive or tell anyone"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1726.46,"endTime":1727.75,"body":"what to think or what to do."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1728.02,"endTime":1729.52,"body":"You heard three"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1728.02,"endTime":1729.52,"body":"perspectives, and there are"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1729.52,"endTime":1732.82,"body":"many, many more. We encourage"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1729.52,"endTime":1732.82,"body":"you to listen to other voices"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1732.82,"endTime":1736.0,"body":"and hear a wide variety of"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1732.82,"endTime":1736.0,"body":"experiences. If you would like"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1736.0,"endTime":1739.06,"body":"to submit a question or share a"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1736.0,"endTime":1739.06,"body":"comment about today's episode,"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1739.27,"endTime":1742.78,"body":"you can email us at"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1739.27,"endTime":1742.78,"body":"questionsfromthecloset@gmail.com."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1743.23,"endTime":1744.04,"body":"Until next time."}]}