{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":5.91,"endTime":8.31,"body":"Welcome to questions"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":5.91,"endTime":8.31,"body":"from the closet. I'm Charlie"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":8.31,"endTime":8.67,"body":"Bird."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":8.76,"endTime":11.7,"body":"And I am Ben Schilaty. Each"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":8.76,"endTime":11.7,"body":"episode we discuss a question"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":11.7,"endTime":14.52,"body":"that we commonly get asked as"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":11.7,"endTime":14.52,"body":"LGBTQ Latter-day Saints."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":14.76,"endTime":16.86,"body":"We are not trying to"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":14.76,"endTime":16.86,"body":"answer this question or come to"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":16.86,"endTime":19.35,"body":"a consensus but simply sharing"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":16.86,"endTime":19.35,"body":"our perspectives."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":19.59,"endTime":22.05,"body":"Today's question is, how"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":19.59,"endTime":22.05,"body":"can I be an ally from the"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":22.05,"endTime":22.62,"body":"closet?"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":23.13,"endTime":25.17,"body":"Ben and I are not"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":23.13,"endTime":25.17,"body":"terribly diverse, and we share"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":25.17,"endTime":28.44,"body":"many opinions and life"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":25.17,"endTime":28.44,"body":"experiences. For example, both"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":28.44,"endTime":30.33,"body":"of us came out in a very public"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":28.44,"endTime":30.33,"body":"way."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":30.87,"endTime":32.82,"body":"However, there are some"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":30.87,"endTime":32.82,"body":"pretty big differences. For"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":32.82,"endTime":35.37,"body":"example, Charlie came out in the"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":32.82,"endTime":35.37,"body":"Deseret News op ed and I came"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":35.37,"endTime":40.56,"body":"out on my blog that literally a"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":35.37,"endTime":40.56,"body":"dozen people follow. How many"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":40.56,"endTime":41.67,"body":"people read your op ed Charlie?"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":42.24,"endTime":49.32,"body":"Um, a lot. A lot of"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":42.24,"endTime":49.32,"body":"people read your blog too."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":49.38,"endTime":53.01,"body":"Yeah, I mean, before I came"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":49.38,"endTime":53.01,"body":"out, like, seriously, dozens of"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":53.01,"endTime":54.84,"body":"people would read my blog, like,"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":53.01,"endTime":54.84,"body":"just my friends."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":54.87,"endTime":55.98,"body":"I haven't read your"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":54.87,"endTime":55.98,"body":"blog."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":56.25,"endTime":56.61,"body":"Ever?"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":56.61,"endTime":58.11,"body":"I've never read your"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":56.61,"endTime":58.11,"body":"coming out post. No."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":58.409,"endTime":59.189,"body":"it's pretty good."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":59.66,"endTime":61.04,"body":"So was my coming out."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":59.66,"endTime":61.04,"body":"article"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":61.07,"endTime":62.99,"body":"Well, I read that. You"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":61.07,"endTime":62.99,"body":"actually had me proofread it."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":64.79,"endTime":65.42,"body":"Anyway..."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":65.42,"endTime":67.13,"body":"There's no wrong way to"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":65.42,"endTime":67.13,"body":"come out."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":68.9,"endTime":71.03,"body":"We would like to provide a"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":68.9,"endTime":71.03,"body":"variety of voices and"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":71.03,"endTime":73.64,"body":"perspectives. So today, we're"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":71.03,"endTime":73.64,"body":"joined by Collette Dalton."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":73.67,"endTime":74.39,"body":"Welcome Collette."},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":74.63,"endTime":75.32,"body":"Thanks for having me."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":75.5,"endTime":76.82,"body":"So tell us a little bit"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":75.5,"endTime":76.82,"body":"about yourself."},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":77.08,"endTime":79.72,"body":"Well, I'm Mormon and"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":77.08,"endTime":79.72,"body":"gay. I don't know what else you"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":79.72,"endTime":84.31,"body":"need to know. Um, I'm actually a"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":79.72,"endTime":84.31,"body":"therapist, I got my MSW at BYU,"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":84.31,"endTime":90.07,"body":"and I'm currently a therapist at"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":84.31,"endTime":90.07,"body":"a college in that area, and the"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":90.07,"endTime":93.97,"body":"only mental health professional."},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":90.07,"endTime":93.97,"body":"And so it's been a journey, as"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":93.97,"endTime":99.64,"body":"I've been dealing with my own"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":93.97,"endTime":99.64,"body":"sexuality--because I am not sure"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":99.64,"endTime":102.13,"body":"if you want to get into this--I"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":99.64,"endTime":102.13,"body":"discovered my sexuality later in"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":102.13,"endTime":105.67,"body":"life. I feel sometimes odd about"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":102.13,"endTime":105.67,"body":"that. I know a lot of people"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":106.0,"endTime":109.63,"body":"seem to realize it when they're"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":106.0,"endTime":109.63,"body":"young. For me, I realized I"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":109.63,"endTime":113.68,"body":"first had a crush on woman when"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":109.63,"endTime":113.68,"body":"I was in my mid 20s. And even"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":113.68,"endTime":116.53,"body":"then I was \"Oh, I'm straight,"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":113.68,"endTime":116.53,"body":"except for her. It's just weird"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":116.53,"endTime":120.31,"body":"flu. She's really cool this,"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":116.53,"endTime":120.31,"body":"I'll get over it, I'll be fine.\""},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":120.82,"endTime":123.22,"body":"And that's just in the last"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":120.82,"endTime":123.22,"body":"couple years since I've been in"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":123.22,"endTime":125.8,"body":"this job that I've been really"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":123.22,"endTime":125.8,"body":"dealing with my sexuality more"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":125.8,"endTime":129.91,"body":"and realizing that it's not just"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":125.8,"endTime":129.91,"body":"her, I'm pretty gay. So it's"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":129.91,"endTime":133.96,"body":"been really interesting. Being a"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":129.91,"endTime":133.96,"body":"therapist and having skills to"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":133.96,"endTime":137.68,"body":"work through that on myself, and"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":133.96,"endTime":137.68,"body":"also be able to help others and"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":137.68,"endTime":140.41,"body":"understand some of the gray area"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":137.68,"endTime":140.41,"body":"I think that sometimes comes"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":140.41,"endTime":141.94,"body":"with sexuality."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":142.14,"endTime":144.21,"body":"I think it's funny how"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":142.14,"endTime":144.21,"body":"we're going for, like diversity"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":144.21,"endTime":147.66,"body":"of perspective. But you both"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":144.21,"endTime":147.66,"body":"have an MSW from BYU, and I'm"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":147.66,"endTime":148.59,"body":"about to start mine."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":152.41,"endTime":154.48,"body":"So something has been a"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":152.41,"endTime":154.48,"body":"pretty complicated story for"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":154.48,"endTime":157.09,"body":"you, where you, you're you are"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":154.48,"endTime":157.09,"body":"responsible for the mental"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":157.09,"endTime":160.45,"body":"health of the whole college,"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":157.09,"endTime":160.45,"body":"while you're also coming to"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":160.45,"endTime":162.13,"body":"terms with your own sexual"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":160.45,"endTime":162.13,"body":"orientation."},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":162.49,"endTime":165.28,"body":"Yeah, it was"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":162.49,"endTime":165.28,"body":"definitely quite a journey. And"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":165.28,"endTime":168.46,"body":"like I said, for a while, it was"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":165.28,"endTime":168.46,"body":"really fun--I'm totally straight"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":168.46,"endTime":171.91,"body":"still--and then, this is just in"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":168.46,"endTime":171.91,"body":"the last little bit, dealing"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":171.91,"endTime":174.46,"body":"with it myself. But I think it's"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":171.91,"endTime":174.46,"body":"actually been a blessing."},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":175.78,"endTime":179.98,"body":"Dealing with my sexuality,"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":175.78,"endTime":179.98,"body":"understanding the LGBTQ"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":179.98,"endTime":182.71,"body":"community a little bit better,"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":179.98,"endTime":182.71,"body":"so I can better serve and be"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":182.71,"endTime":186.37,"body":"open to that. Picking up I"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":182.71,"endTime":186.37,"body":"remember, I was talking to one"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":186.37,"endTime":191.41,"body":"student and picking up with some"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":186.37,"endTime":191.41,"body":"cues that he was using gender"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":191.41,"endTime":193.96,"body":"neutral pronouns for the"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":191.41,"endTime":193.96,"body":"partners he was talking about."},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":193.96,"endTime":197.26,"body":"And I was able to ask him, \"Are"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":193.96,"endTime":197.26,"body":"you gay?\" And he said, \"Yes.\""},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":197.26,"endTime":199.48,"body":"And then we're able to have a"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":197.26,"endTime":199.48,"body":"really much more open"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":199.48,"endTime":202.96,"body":"conversation. And so I think"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":199.48,"endTime":202.96,"body":"that's been really helpful for"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":202.96,"endTime":203.26,"body":"me."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":203.95,"endTime":207.49,"body":"Wonderful. So Collette how"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":203.95,"endTime":207.49,"body":"\"out\" are you right now?"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":208.05,"endTime":211.74,"body":"I say pretty out most,"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":208.05,"endTime":211.74,"body":"most all my friends are gay."},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":211.77,"endTime":215.34,"body":"When I moved here, I started"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":211.77,"endTime":215.34,"body":"making new friends through"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":215.34,"endTime":220.17,"body":"different queer organizations."},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":215.34,"endTime":220.17,"body":"And my family knows. But"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":220.17,"endTime":223.77,"body":"ironically, with the topic of"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":220.17,"endTime":223.77,"body":"this podcast, I'm actually"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":223.8,"endTime":226.14,"body":"coming out of the closet talking"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":223.8,"endTime":226.14,"body":"about how you can be an ally"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":226.14,"endTime":229.29,"body":"from the closet, but I think I'm"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":226.14,"endTime":229.29,"body":"pretty familiar with the topic,"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":229.29,"endTime":231.54,"body":"having been the closet last few"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":229.29,"endTime":231.54,"body":"years dealing with it."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":231.69,"endTime":233.73,"body":"Okay. Well, thank you for"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":231.69,"endTime":233.73,"body":"sharing that. And thank you for"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":233.73,"endTime":235.86,"body":"being willing and open to have"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":233.73,"endTime":235.86,"body":"this conversation with us."},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":235.89,"endTime":236.22,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":236.72,"endTime":238.94,"body":"You know, I've talked to a"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":236.72,"endTime":238.94,"body":"lot of people who will come out"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":238.94,"endTime":241.4,"body":"to me, they'll come out to some"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":238.94,"endTime":241.4,"body":"friends and family, and they'll"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":241.4,"endTime":243.95,"body":"say, \"I want to help, how can I"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":241.4,"endTime":243.95,"body":"help? What can I do to help I"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":243.95,"endTime":246.95,"body":"want to, I want to be a good"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":243.95,"endTime":246.95,"body":"advocate, and I want to help.\""},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":247.13,"endTime":249.41,"body":"But at the same time, they're"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":247.13,"endTime":249.41,"body":"not ready to be open about"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":249.41,"endTime":253.61,"body":"their, their orientation with"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":249.41,"endTime":253.61,"body":"the whole world. And so but they"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":253.61,"endTime":255.98,"body":"still want to help. And so what"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":253.61,"endTime":255.98,"body":"we want to talk about today is"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":255.98,"endTime":259.07,"body":"you know, how can someone who is"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":255.98,"endTime":259.07,"body":"still in the closet, but has"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":259.07,"endTime":262.46,"body":"desires to like do good and make"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":259.07,"endTime":262.46,"body":"make positive change, and what"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":262.46,"endTime":263.12,"body":"what can they do?"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":263.72,"endTime":267.71,"body":"Yeah, I think that's a"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":263.72,"endTime":267.71,"body":"great question. Um, for me, I"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":267.71,"endTime":271.13,"body":"think it really started with"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":267.71,"endTime":271.13,"body":"education, because I was I did"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":271.13,"endTime":275.33,"body":"one of my best friends from high"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":271.13,"endTime":275.33,"body":"school came out to me. And so I"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":275.33,"endTime":279.53,"body":"knew his story. But I wasn't"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":275.33,"endTime":279.53,"body":"familiar with a lot of different"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":279.53,"endTime":282.32,"body":"stories. And as you get to know"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":279.53,"endTime":282.32,"body":"queer people and their stories,"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":282.32,"endTime":285.2,"body":"I think your heart can be open"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":282.32,"endTime":285.2,"body":"to them. So listen, educate"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":285.2,"endTime":287.45,"body":"yourself. super important."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":288.56,"endTime":290.93,"body":"You know, as we were"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":288.56,"endTime":290.93,"body":"thinking about this topic I was"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":290.93,"endTime":293.54,"body":"trying to think of like, when I"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":290.93,"endTime":293.54,"body":"was in the closet, how was I an"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":293.54,"endTime":297.65,"body":"ally? And honestly, I couldn't"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":293.54,"endTime":297.65,"body":"think of anything I did. Like, I"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":297.68,"endTime":299.6,"body":"like after coming out, I would"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":297.68,"endTime":299.6,"body":"hear people say things like,"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":299.63,"endTime":301.85,"body":"like \"Gay Marriage is gonna"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":299.63,"endTime":301.85,"body":"destroy this country.\" And I was"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":301.85,"endTime":306.02,"body":"like, \"Um, hum.\" And I wouldn't,"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":301.85,"endTime":306.02,"body":"I wouldn't say anything or speak"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":306.02,"endTime":309.05,"body":"up like I was just so afraid of"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":306.02,"endTime":309.05,"body":"anyone finding out. But at the"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":309.05,"endTime":312.2,"body":"same time I was educating"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":309.05,"endTime":312.2,"body":"myself, I was reading a lot, I"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":312.2,"endTime":314.99,"body":"was reading a lot of people's"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":312.2,"endTime":314.99,"body":"stories and watching YouTube"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":314.99,"endTime":317.99,"body":"videos and listening to podcasts"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":314.99,"endTime":317.99,"body":"and just really trying to dig"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":317.99,"endTime":322.13,"body":"into the LGBTQ experience. And"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":317.99,"endTime":322.13,"body":"so I guess that that was like,"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":322.13,"endTime":325.16,"body":"my first step to being an ally,"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":322.13,"endTime":325.16,"body":"while in the closet was just to"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":325.34,"endTime":326.12,"body":"educate myself."},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":327.26,"endTime":329.81,"body":"And I just think about"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":327.26,"endTime":329.81,"body":"people who've been allies to me,"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":329.81,"endTime":332.36,"body":"and it's really people who are"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":329.81,"endTime":332.36,"body":"there willing to listen and be"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":332.36,"endTime":335.81,"body":"there and then speak up. I know,"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":332.36,"endTime":335.81,"body":"for me, it's always easier to"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":335.81,"endTime":338.96,"body":"speak up for someone else than"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":335.81,"endTime":338.96,"body":"it is for myself. And so as I've"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":338.96,"endTime":341.63,"body":"gotten to know, people, it's"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":338.96,"endTime":341.63,"body":"very easy for me to speak up."},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":341.63,"endTime":345.56,"body":"And even being at a college with"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":341.63,"endTime":345.56,"body":"the therapist privilege of being"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":345.56,"endTime":348.41,"body":"able to say, \"Hey, we have"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":345.56,"endTime":348.41,"body":"students that we care about that"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":348.41,"endTime":351.17,"body":"we need to talk about, we need"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":348.41,"endTime":351.17,"body":"to be aware of,\" and advocate"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":351.17,"endTime":355.52,"body":"for them, and not having to out"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":351.17,"endTime":355.52,"body":"myself, as I still am able to"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":355.52,"endTime":360.35,"body":"advocate for them. Or I think of"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":355.52,"endTime":360.35,"body":"one of my friends in my ward"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":360.35,"endTime":364.19,"body":"after his Stake President said a"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":360.35,"endTime":364.19,"body":"kind of hurtful thing in a word"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":364.19,"endTime":367.49,"body":"conference about queer people."},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":364.19,"endTime":367.49,"body":"And I got up and just cried and"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":367.49,"endTime":370.76,"body":"left, she came, one person came"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":367.49,"endTime":370.76,"body":"out and found me and helped me"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":370.76,"endTime":373.4,"body":"as I cried. And another friend"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":370.76,"endTime":373.4,"body":"went up to the bishop after and"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":373.4,"endTime":376.37,"body":"said, \"You need to talk to that"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":373.4,"endTime":376.37,"body":"stake presidency member because"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":376.37,"endTime":378.74,"body":"that's completely inappropriate"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":376.37,"endTime":378.74,"body":"for him to be saying there are"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":378.74,"endTime":382.49,"body":"queer people in the"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":378.74,"endTime":382.49,"body":"congregations.\" And so just"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":382.49,"endTime":385.61,"body":"different ways that I've seen"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":382.49,"endTime":385.61,"body":"people be allies to me that I"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":385.61,"endTime":388.61,"body":"try to be allies to others by"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":385.61,"endTime":388.61,"body":"speaking up. Even if I can't"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":388.61,"endTime":390.29,"body":"speak up for myself, I can speak"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":388.61,"endTime":390.29,"body":"up for them."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":391.32,"endTime":394.65,"body":"So what I'm hearing you say"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":391.32,"endTime":394.65,"body":"Collette, is being an ally in"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":394.65,"endTime":396.81,"body":"the closet would be the same"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":394.65,"endTime":396.81,"body":"thing--you do the same things"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":396.81,"endTime":399.24,"body":"that a straight person would do"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":396.81,"endTime":399.24,"body":"to be an ally."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":399.0,"endTime":401.43,"body":"Yeah, that's actually"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":399.0,"endTime":401.43,"body":"what I was just gonna say. I'm"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":401.43,"endTime":406.32,"body":"jumping in now, folks. Yeah, I"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":401.43,"endTime":406.32,"body":"feel like learning like, even"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":406.32,"endTime":409.2,"body":"things like learning best mental"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":406.32,"endTime":409.2,"body":"health practices, how to have"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":409.26,"endTime":411.27,"body":"like how to lean into"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":409.26,"endTime":411.27,"body":"discomfort, how to have hard"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":411.27,"endTime":414.33,"body":"conversations, how to, like meet"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":411.27,"endTime":414.33,"body":"someone where they're at and"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":414.33,"endTime":418.08,"body":"understand like emotional"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":414.33,"endTime":418.08,"body":"dependency and how you can help"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":418.08,"endTime":421.47,"body":"them with that. And then I was"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":418.08,"endTime":421.47,"body":"even thinking like, maybe to"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":421.5,"endTime":424.53,"body":"consider taking a suicide"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":421.5,"endTime":424.53,"body":"prevention course, and become"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":424.53,"endTime":428.58,"body":"like trained in that and just"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":424.53,"endTime":428.58,"body":"like give yourself mental and"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":428.58,"endTime":430.74,"body":"emotional tools that are going"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":428.58,"endTime":430.74,"body":"to help a marginalized"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":430.77,"endTime":431.49,"body":"population."},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":431.57,"endTime":434.87,"body":"Definitely. I'm a QPR"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":431.57,"endTime":434.87,"body":"trainer. So I've been able to do"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":434.87,"endTime":435.8,"body":"that at the college."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":435.83,"endTime":437.9,"body":"What is QPR? I know, but..."},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":437.99,"endTime":440.12,"body":"Yeah, keep your"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":437.99,"endTime":440.12,"body":"eyes--Question, Persuade,"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":440.21,"endTime":442.91,"body":"Refer--it's kind of a gold"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":440.21,"endTime":442.91,"body":"standard of suicide prevention"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":442.91,"endTime":446.03,"body":"training. And plenty of people"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":442.91,"endTime":446.03,"body":"here in Utah are certified to be"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":446.03,"endTime":448.76,"body":"able to do that and go out and"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":446.03,"endTime":448.76,"body":"do their wards or in classes,"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":448.76,"endTime":452.3,"body":"different workshops. And you can"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":448.76,"endTime":452.3,"body":"take it and become a gatekeeper,"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":452.3,"endTime":454.94,"body":"they call it, after just about"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":452.3,"endTime":454.94,"body":"an hour.  You know then, the"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":454.94,"endTime":457.76,"body":"skills, an hour or two to be"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":454.94,"endTime":457.76,"body":"able to help someone who might"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":457.76,"endTime":458.99,"body":"be in a mental health crisis."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":459.38,"endTime":462.17,"body":"You know, it's interesting?"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":459.38,"endTime":462.17,"body":"So when I was working as a"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":462.17,"endTime":465.17,"body":"therapist, I wear a rainbow"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":462.17,"endTime":465.17,"body":"ring. But I would, I was working"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":465.17,"endTime":467.93,"body":"to LDS Family Services, I would"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":465.17,"endTime":467.93,"body":"take it off before meeting with"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":467.93,"endTime":470.12,"body":"clients, just because I didn't"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":467.93,"endTime":470.12,"body":"want it to be a distraction to"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":470.12,"endTime":473.27,"body":"my clients who knew nothing"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":470.12,"endTime":473.27,"body":"about me. And yet..."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":473.0,"endTime":475.19,"body":"Well, because you only"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":473.0,"endTime":475.19,"body":"had twelve followers..."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":476.45,"endTime":482.09,"body":"Dozens, dozens of"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":476.45,"endTime":482.09,"body":"followers. But But, you know,"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":482.09,"endTime":485.15,"body":"the point is, like, my clients"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":482.09,"endTime":485.15,"body":"didn't know anything about my"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":485.15,"endTime":488.18,"body":"personal history or anything"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":485.15,"endTime":488.18,"body":"about me. And yet, like they"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":488.18,"endTime":491.6,"body":"were able to grow and, and learn"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":488.18,"endTime":491.6,"body":"and didn't need to know about my"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":491.6,"endTime":495.59,"body":"personal history in order to"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":491.6,"endTime":495.59,"body":"grow. And so you know, if it's"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":495.59,"endTime":498.5,"body":"hard to share your personal"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":495.59,"endTime":498.5,"body":"history and your own sexual"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":498.5,"endTime":501.8,"body":"orientation, you can still help"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":498.5,"endTime":501.8,"body":"people like, like, like, people"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":501.8,"endTime":503.87,"body":"just need to be listened to,"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":501.8,"endTime":503.87,"body":"they need to be understood, they"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":503.87,"endTime":506.63,"body":"need to be loved. They need"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":503.87,"endTime":506.63,"body":"affirmations, and compassion."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":506.9,"endTime":510.59,"body":"And that can all happen without"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":506.9,"endTime":510.59,"body":"disclosing your own your own"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":510.59,"endTime":511.37,"body":"orientation."},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":511.45,"endTime":512.92,"body":"Yeah, I think that's"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":511.45,"endTime":512.92,"body":"one benefit of being a"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":512.92,"endTime":515.26,"body":"therapist, that you learn those"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":512.92,"endTime":515.26,"body":"skills, and you realize it's not"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":515.26,"endTime":518.2,"body":"about me in a conversation, I"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":515.26,"endTime":518.2,"body":"can listen and be there for"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":518.2,"endTime":521.44,"body":"someone without having to talk"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":518.2,"endTime":521.44,"body":"about my story. So that was"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":521.44,"endTime":524.8,"body":"actually a really safe place for"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":521.44,"endTime":524.8,"body":"me for a long time to be able to"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":524.86,"endTime":527.62,"body":"not have to share my story. This"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":524.86,"endTime":527.62,"body":"kind of is a big thing to put it"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":527.62,"endTime":531.7,"body":"out there. But I feel like as my"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":527.62,"endTime":531.7,"body":"journey is progressing, I'm now"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":531.7,"endTime":535.3,"body":"to a spot that I want to be more"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":531.7,"endTime":535.3,"body":"open so I can help others. That"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":535.3,"endTime":538.12,"body":"I can be a resource in a"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":535.3,"endTime":538.12,"body":"different way. Not that being in"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":538.12,"endTime":543.97,"body":"the closet is bad. You need to"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":538.12,"endTime":543.97,"body":"be safe. I remember when I first"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":543.97,"endTime":546.49,"body":"was starting to deal with my"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":543.97,"endTime":546.49,"body":"sexuality, a friend said, \"Don't"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":546.49,"endTime":548.95,"body":"tell someone unless you feel"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":546.49,"endTime":548.95,"body":"confident , enough that their"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":548.95,"endTime":551.86,"body":"reaction won't mess up your"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":548.95,"endTime":551.86,"body":"mental well-being,\" basically."},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":552.28,"endTime":555.28,"body":"And now I feel like I am to the"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":552.28,"endTime":555.28,"body":"point that doesn't matter what"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":555.28,"endTime":558.64,"body":"others say I'm ready to just be"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":555.28,"endTime":558.64,"body":"out there and be a resource and"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":558.64,"endTime":559.0,"body":"help."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":559.48,"endTime":562.69,"body":"Kind of going off of"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":559.48,"endTime":562.69,"body":"that, I came out in kind of like"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":562.99,"endTime":566.05,"body":"a series. Like I didn't like I"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":562.99,"endTime":566.05,"body":"didn't start with the Deseret"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":566.08,"endTime":569.77,"body":"News article I came out to like"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":566.08,"endTime":569.77,"body":"my cousin and then my sisters."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":569.77,"endTime":572.5,"body":"And then I found that I was most"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":569.77,"endTime":572.5,"body":"comfortable before I told the"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":572.5,"endTime":576.46,"body":"rest of my family and my friends"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":572.5,"endTime":576.46,"body":"to come out to other gay people"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":576.46,"endTime":581.74,"body":"in LGBTQ spaces. And so I got to"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":576.46,"endTime":581.74,"body":"this kind of like interesting"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":582.4,"endTime":586.3,"body":"dynamic where I was out at a"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":582.4,"endTime":586.3,"body":"level that I was comfortable"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":586.3,"endTime":590.23,"body":"with, and I could be an ally and"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":586.3,"endTime":590.23,"body":"support the community at that"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":590.23,"endTime":593.53,"body":"level. And so that's actually"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":590.23,"endTime":593.53,"body":"kind of how I was, Ben. I know"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":593.53,"endTime":596.8,"body":"in the last episode, we talked"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":593.53,"endTime":596.8,"body":"about the work we did for the"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":596.83,"endTime":600.64,"body":"LGBTQ Working Group at BYU. I"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":596.83,"endTime":600.64,"body":"was not out when we were doing"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":600.64,"endTime":606.94,"body":"that, to very few people in like"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":600.64,"endTime":606.94,"body":"my personal life. However, I was"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":606.97,"endTime":610.93,"body":"out to the other gay students in"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":606.97,"endTime":610.93,"body":"the group and LGBTQ students in"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":610.93,"endTime":613.24,"body":"the group and the"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":610.93,"endTime":613.24,"body":"administrators, because I knew"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":613.24,"endTime":616.27,"body":"it was like a safe place where"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":613.24,"endTime":616.27,"body":"my voice could be used and"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":616.27,"endTime":620.41,"body":"needed and where like, I didn't"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":616.27,"endTime":620.41,"body":"have to be out. And I think, I"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":620.41,"endTime":624.58,"body":"don't know if those situations"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":620.41,"endTime":624.58,"body":"are hard to find, but I found"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":624.58,"endTime":627.43,"body":"quite a few of them. So I think"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":624.58,"endTime":627.43,"body":"if you're looking for ways you"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":627.43,"endTime":631.39,"body":"can just kind of be like, half"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":627.43,"endTime":631.39,"body":"out in safe spaces and still,"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":631.75,"endTime":633.19,"body":"you know, do it."},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":633.63,"endTime":635.94,"body":"Yeah, I have what I"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":633.63,"endTime":635.94,"body":"call like my \"straight ally"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":635.94,"endTime":639.21,"body":"shirt\" in quotation marks. It's"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":635.94,"endTime":639.21,"body":"just a suicide prevention"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":639.21,"endTime":643.35,"body":"rainbow shirt. So I can play up"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":639.21,"endTime":643.35,"body":"when I wasn't feeling completely"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":643.35,"endTime":646.59,"body":"safe to be out, be that half in"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":643.35,"endTime":646.59,"body":"half out. I'm a great ally,"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":646.8,"endTime":650.31,"body":"supporting the community, and be"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":646.8,"endTime":650.31,"body":"in the community go to pride and"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":650.82,"endTime":653.55,"body":"things--be around people, even"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":650.82,"endTime":653.55,"body":"if I wasn't safe to be out"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":653.55,"endTime":655.74,"body":"myself, but be out in those"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":653.55,"endTime":655.74,"body":"spaces."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":656.04,"endTime":659.19,"body":"Definitely. I remember"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":656.04,"endTime":659.19,"body":"before I came out to anybody"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":659.22,"endTime":662.73,"body":"when I was like 22, or 23, I"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":659.22,"endTime":662.73,"body":"used to read all these anonymous"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":662.73,"endTime":666.75,"body":"blogs by gay BYU students. And"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":662.73,"endTime":666.75,"body":"that was like, so good for me to"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":666.75,"endTime":669.06,"body":"just realize I wasn't alone and"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":666.75,"endTime":669.06,"body":"I'm not the only gay person"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":669.06,"endTime":672.0,"body":"here. And just to hear those"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":669.06,"endTime":672.0,"body":"stories, and I'm grateful for"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":672.0,"endTime":674.52,"body":"those people who weren't even I"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":672.0,"endTime":674.52,"body":"don't even know their names what"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":674.52,"endTime":678.36,"body":"they look like but they really,"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":674.52,"endTime":678.36,"body":"like they helped me feel like I"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":678.36,"endTime":681.33,"body":"wasn't alone at a time I just"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":678.36,"endTime":681.33,"body":"felt so alone. And they did that"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":681.33,"endTime":681.99,"body":"anonymously."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":682.62,"endTime":686.1,"body":"Did you ever feel"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":682.62,"endTime":686.1,"body":"guilty for doing things like"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":686.13,"endTime":689.46,"body":"like supporting the LGBTQ"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":686.13,"endTime":689.46,"body":"community, knowing that you were"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":689.46,"endTime":692.46,"body":"gay, but not voicing that? Was"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":689.46,"endTime":692.46,"body":"there like dissonance there?"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":693.2,"endTime":696.08,"body":"There was at times for"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":693.2,"endTime":696.08,"body":"sure. But I think for me, it"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":696.08,"endTime":698.48,"body":"just came back to I don't feel"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":696.08,"endTime":698.48,"body":"completely safe in this"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":698.48,"endTime":703.7,"body":"situation. Being in Utah, being"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":698.48,"endTime":703.7,"body":"surrounded by Mormons, sometimes"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":703.7,"endTime":706.55,"body":"it doesn't feel safe. I don't"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":703.7,"endTime":706.55,"body":"think people always realize what"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":706.55,"endTime":712.28,"body":"they do or don't say, and how"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":706.55,"endTime":712.28,"body":"that can be construed. And so, I"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":712.28,"endTime":715.49,"body":"sometimes I'd feel guilty, but"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":712.28,"endTime":715.49,"body":"I'm like, at least, I'm here,"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":715.49,"endTime":716.99,"body":"I'm trying, I'm learning."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":717.56,"endTime":722.87,"body":"One of the first times"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":717.56,"endTime":722.87,"body":"I went to like a queer space, I"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":722.9,"endTime":726.23,"body":"actually was pretending to be"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":722.9,"endTime":726.23,"body":"the ally. I had a friend and I'd"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":726.23,"endTime":730.61,"body":"come out to her. And she"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":726.23,"endTime":730.61,"body":"would--bless her heart--she was"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":730.61,"endTime":733.55,"body":"like, \"I'll just pretend that"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":730.61,"endTime":733.55,"body":"I'm lesbian. So you can go and"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":733.55,"endTime":737.0,"body":"be there and you can be my"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":733.55,"endTime":737.0,"body":"straight ally.\" And like, you're"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":737.0,"endTime":739.49,"body":"the one who's going with me to"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":737.0,"endTime":739.49,"body":"make me comfortable. But really,"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":739.49,"endTime":740.54,"body":"it's the other way around."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":741.35,"endTime":742.34,"body":"that's so nice."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":743.56,"endTime":745.9,"body":"And she's like, \"I have"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":743.56,"endTime":745.9,"body":"a short haircut.\" She had this"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":745.9,"endTime":748.6,"body":"super cute Pixie cut, like,"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":745.9,"endTime":748.6,"body":"\"I'll pass great.\""},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":749.8,"endTime":754.15,"body":"Okay, okay, so lesbians can"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":749.8,"endTime":754.15,"body":"have beautiful long brown hair"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":754.15,"endTime":754.27,"body":"too."},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":754.27,"endTime":756.37,"body":"I do. And that's"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":754.27,"endTime":756.37,"body":"actually one thing that kind of"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":757.51,"endTime":759.55,"body":"kept me in the closet a little"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":757.51,"endTime":759.55,"body":"longer is I have straight"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":759.55,"endTime":760.6,"body":"passing privilege."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":762.1,"endTime":763.06,"body":"You don't drive a Subaru?"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":763.12,"endTime":765.25,"body":"I don't drive a"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":763.12,"endTime":765.25,"body":"Subaru, don't have short hair."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":765.31,"endTime":766.0,"body":"She's not wearing"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":765.31,"endTime":766.0,"body":"flannel."},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":767.2,"endTime":770.05,"body":"Yeah, I don't have any"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":767.2,"endTime":770.05,"body":"of the checkmarks besides the"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":770.05,"endTime":771.1,"body":"fact that I like women."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":771.13,"endTime":772.75,"body":"Do play softball? Sorry, we"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":771.13,"endTime":772.75,"body":"should stop."},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":774.73,"endTime":777.13,"body":"I do enjoy watching"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":774.73,"endTime":777.13,"body":"female soccer, but I don't play"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":777.13,"endTime":777.34,"body":"it."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":781.62,"endTime":783.78,"body":"Well, I just I thought"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":781.62,"endTime":783.78,"body":"that was interesting. And like,"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":783.84,"endTime":787.26,"body":"looking back, I'm like, that's"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":783.84,"endTime":787.26,"body":"so funny that like, that's what"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":787.26,"endTime":791.91,"body":"it took to get you there. But"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":787.26,"endTime":791.91,"body":"that was, I guess I'm just"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":791.91,"endTime":795.09,"body":"saying if you want to enter like"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":791.91,"endTime":795.09,"body":"an LGBTQ space and find a"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":795.09,"endTime":799.77,"body":"resource, there's like ways to"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":795.09,"endTime":799.77,"body":"go about it that are lying. It's"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":799.77,"endTime":803.88,"body":"okay. Ben, make that sound"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":799.77,"endTime":803.88,"body":"better."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":804.69,"endTime":806.7,"body":"You want me to make \"it's"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":804.69,"endTime":806.7,"body":"okay to lie\" sound better?"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":807.93,"endTime":808.68,"body":"You don't have to...."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":808.68,"endTime":810.57,"body":"If you don't feel safe,"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":808.68,"endTime":810.57,"body":"you don't have to put yourself"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":810.6,"endTime":814.2,"body":"out there. And you can build up"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":810.6,"endTime":814.2,"body":"to it. And it was a little white"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":814.2,"endTime":817.17,"body":"lie that my friend was a"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":814.2,"endTime":817.17,"body":"lesbian. And I was straight."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":817.2,"endTime":819.33,"body":"Well, this is what I would"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":817.2,"endTime":819.33,"body":"say. I would say you don't owe"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":819.33,"endTime":821.34,"body":"anyone any explanations about"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":819.33,"endTime":821.34,"body":"your life."},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":821.61,"endTime":824.46,"body":"You don't owe anyone."},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":821.61,"endTime":824.46,"body":"You don't owe anyone your story."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":824.48,"endTime":826.34,"body":"Right. Like, like, if"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":824.48,"endTime":826.34,"body":"someone's like, \"Hey, are you"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":826.34,"endTime":830.33,"body":"gay?\" You don't have to tell"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":826.34,"endTime":830.33,"body":"anybody, like no one has a right"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":830.33,"endTime":834.26,"body":"to know your personal history"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":830.33,"endTime":834.26,"body":"and who you are. That is"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":834.26,"endTime":837.35,"body":"something that you get to choose"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":834.26,"endTime":837.35,"body":"to share. And so I would say"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":837.35,"endTime":839.48,"body":"this line, I would say it's,"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":837.35,"endTime":839.48,"body":"it's..."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":839.51,"endTime":840.59,"body":"It's being strategic?"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":840.71,"endTime":841.85,"body":"Sure. Yeah, that's great."},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":842.68,"endTime":845.47,"body":"Being careful and"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":842.68,"endTime":845.47,"body":"owning your story. Not everyone"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":846.16,"endTime":848.62,"body":"has a right to that. It's a very"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":846.16,"endTime":848.62,"body":"personal thing. It's a personal"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":848.62,"endTime":851.98,"body":"journey. And we've all taken"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":848.62,"endTime":851.98,"body":"different routes to get to be a"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":851.98,"endTime":855.13,"body":"place where we are more out and"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":851.98,"endTime":855.13,"body":"that's fine. And if you want to"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":855.13,"endTime":858.04,"body":"stay in the closet, if you feel"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":855.13,"endTime":858.04,"body":"safer in the closet, that's"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":858.04,"endTime":860.53,"body":"totally valid. There's no reason"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":858.04,"endTime":860.53,"body":"to come out. If you'd asked me a"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":860.53,"endTime":863.38,"body":"few years ago that I if I would"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":860.53,"endTime":863.38,"body":"have told anybody that I was"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":863.38,"endTime":866.68,"body":"gay, I would have said \"No,"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":863.38,"endTime":866.68,"body":"there's no way,\" and now here I"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":866.68,"endTime":867.73,"body":"am on a podcast."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":868.3,"endTime":869.65,"body":"That dozens of people"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":868.3,"endTime":869.65,"body":"listen to."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":873.35,"endTime":875.81,"body":"Well, it's kind of cool"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":873.35,"endTime":875.81,"body":"like the idea because for me,"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":875.87,"endTime":881.57,"body":"the closet was so difficult."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":875.87,"endTime":881.57,"body":"It's really hard. But it's cool"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":881.57,"endTime":884.75,"body":"looking retrospectively to see"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":881.57,"endTime":884.75,"body":"that while I was there, I was"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":884.75,"endTime":889.46,"body":"doing things to like, become"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":884.75,"endTime":889.46,"body":"more aware of myself and others"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":889.46,"endTime":892.76,"body":"and I was kind of like learning"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":889.46,"endTime":892.76,"body":"coping mechanisms and ways to"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":892.76,"endTime":895.58,"body":"connect with people and"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":892.76,"endTime":895.58,"body":"educating myself on people's"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":895.58,"endTime":899.21,"body":"stories. And so in a way like"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":895.58,"endTime":899.21,"body":"that safety net of the closet,"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":899.24,"endTime":902.12,"body":"looking back, actually prepared"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":899.24,"endTime":902.12,"body":"me to come out."},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":903.47,"endTime":905.12,"body":"I think he's that"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":903.47,"endTime":905.12,"body":"doing super well. I feel that my"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":905.12,"endTime":905.96,"body":"own journey as well."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":906.23,"endTime":909.71,"body":"Definitely, I just wanna"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":906.23,"endTime":909.71,"body":"say something selfishly. So like"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":909.71,"endTime":912.53,"body":"I said before, you don't owe"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":909.71,"endTime":912.53,"body":"anyone any explanations about"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":912.53,"endTime":915.14,"body":"your life. I just wish that"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":912.53,"endTime":915.14,"body":"everyone would just come out"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":915.14,"endTime":918.02,"body":"right now. So that we could just"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":915.14,"endTime":918.02,"body":"normalize the experience even"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":918.02,"endTime":921.98,"body":"more. And I've noticed this this"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":918.02,"endTime":921.98,"body":"trend, and this is really"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":921.98,"endTime":925.49,"body":"reductive. But I've seen this"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":921.98,"endTime":925.49,"body":"pattern of LGBTQ Latter-day"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":925.49,"endTime":928.19,"body":"Saints, really struggling with"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":925.49,"endTime":928.19,"body":"their identity, trying to figure"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":928.19,"endTime":932.48,"body":"out who they are, and also being"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":928.19,"endTime":932.48,"body":"active in church. And as they"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":932.48,"endTime":935.96,"body":"become more okay with who they"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":932.48,"endTime":935.96,"body":"are, then they often step away"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":935.96,"endTime":938.81,"body":"from the church. And so as they"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":935.96,"endTime":938.81,"body":"come out, people see them also"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":938.81,"endTime":942.38,"body":"stepping away. And so then"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":938.81,"endTime":942.38,"body":"members who aren't familiar with"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":942.38,"endTime":946.22,"body":"the LGBTQ experience, will say,"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":942.38,"endTime":946.22,"body":"\"Oh, coming out is like leads to"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":946.22,"endTime":949.46,"body":"people leaving the church,\" when"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":946.22,"endTime":949.46,"body":"they missed this whole journey"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":949.49,"endTime":954.02,"body":"of self-discovery and, and being"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":949.49,"endTime":954.02,"body":"okay with who you are."},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":954.5,"endTime":955.31,"body":"It's so eternal."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":955.34,"endTime":958.97,"body":"Yeah, exactly. And I just"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":955.34,"endTime":958.97,"body":"wish that we could bring more"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":958.97,"endTime":961.67,"body":"people on the journey with us."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":958.97,"endTime":961.67,"body":"And I'm not saying that that's"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":961.67,"endTime":964.94,"body":"an easy thing, or something that"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":961.67,"endTime":964.94,"body":"everyone should do. But, but I"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":964.94,"endTime":967.31,"body":"just wish more people could"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":964.94,"endTime":967.31,"body":"could be part of part of the"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":967.31,"endTime":968.0,"body":"journey with us,"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":968.03,"endTime":971.6,"body":"That is so important,"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":968.03,"endTime":971.6,"body":"like, click the little back"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":971.63,"endTime":974.42,"body":"button a couple times and listen"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":971.63,"endTime":974.42,"body":"to that again, because that's so"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":974.42,"endTime":977.72,"body":"important. And that's obviously"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":974.42,"endTime":977.72,"body":"one of the reasons why I wanted"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":977.72,"endTime":978.8,"body":"to come out so publicly."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":978.86,"endTime":981.32,"body":"Yeah, but the point, the"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":978.86,"endTime":981.32,"body":"point is, if you're in the"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":981.32,"endTime":983.72,"body":"closet, there's a lot you can"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":981.32,"endTime":983.72,"body":"do, you know, like educating"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":983.72,"endTime":986.36,"body":"yourself, you know, doing the"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":983.72,"endTime":986.36,"body":"same thing a straight ally would"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":986.36,"endTime":988.91,"body":"do. But I also think there's"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":986.36,"endTime":988.91,"body":"there's a lot of power in being"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":988.91,"endTime":991.46,"body":"able to share your experiences"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":988.91,"endTime":991.46,"body":"what when it's the right time,"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":991.46,"endTime":992.81,"body":"and when you feel safe to do so."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":993.08,"endTime":996.59,"body":"Yeah, I will say that,"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":993.08,"endTime":996.59,"body":"though I was able to feel like I"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":996.59,"endTime":999.47,"body":"was making a difference and"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":996.59,"endTime":999.47,"body":"growing while I was still like,"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":999.59,"endTime":1003.55,"body":"half and half out. Since coming"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":999.59,"endTime":1003.55,"body":"out my opportunities to build"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1003.55,"endTime":1007.48,"body":"bridges and, and like create"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1003.55,"endTime":1007.48,"body":"healing and understanding about"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1007.48,"endTime":1012.31,"body":"this topic have greatly"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1007.48,"endTime":1012.31,"body":"magnified, like way more. So I"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1012.31,"endTime":1015.4,"body":"think while it is possible to be"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1012.31,"endTime":1015.4,"body":"an ally from the closet, it is"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1015.4,"endTime":1016.99,"body":"much more effective to be out."},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1018.49,"endTime":1021.07,"body":"Well, and I think it's"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1018.49,"endTime":1021.07,"body":"important when you do feel safe,"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1021.07,"endTime":1023.35,"body":"if you get to that point to be"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1021.07,"endTime":1023.35,"body":"out to help people realize"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1023.35,"endTime":1026.92,"body":"you're still the same person. I"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1023.35,"endTime":1026.92,"body":"think so many times people think"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1027.22,"endTime":1029.83,"body":"of people as \"other\" because the"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1027.22,"endTime":1029.83,"body":"people they know that are queer"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1029.83,"endTime":1033.19,"body":"are in the closet. Again, don't"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1029.83,"endTime":1033.19,"body":"come out unless you're ready."},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1033.19,"endTime":1035.86,"body":"Unless it's the right thing for"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1033.19,"endTime":1035.86,"body":"you. I felt very led in my"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1035.86,"endTime":1039.88,"body":"journey. I felt the spirit in"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1035.86,"endTime":1039.88,"body":"very strong ways to do certain"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1039.88,"endTime":1042.58,"body":"things, including being like"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1039.88,"endTime":1042.58,"body":"\"Okay, Ben, I think I'm ready to"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1042.58,"endTime":1043.6,"body":"do this podcast.\""},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1043.81,"endTime":1046.09,"body":"We first talked about this,"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1043.81,"endTime":1046.09,"body":"like back in March, right?"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1046.48,"endTime":1047.08,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1047.77,"endTime":1049.57,"body":"And it's now August."},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1050.08,"endTime":1052.75,"body":"Yeah. And it's funny,"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1050.08,"endTime":1052.75,"body":"right before COVID I got a"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1052.75,"endTime":1057.07,"body":"blessing that I finally was"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1052.75,"endTime":1057.07,"body":"like, \"Oh, it's okay to be gay.\""},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1057.1,"endTime":1060.91,"body":"Like I was wrestling with it"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1057.1,"endTime":1060.91,"body":"that recently, and wrestling"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1060.91,"endTime":1064.36,"body":"with some pretty serious,"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1060.91,"endTime":1064.36,"body":"serious suicidal ideation. And"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1064.39,"endTime":1068.77,"body":"but now, just being led to this"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1064.39,"endTime":1068.77,"body":"place where you can be more out"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1068.77,"endTime":1071.95,"body":"and safe, people can realize you"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1068.77,"endTime":1071.95,"body":"are still the same person,"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1071.95,"endTime":1074.8,"body":"nothing's changed. You're just"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1071.95,"endTime":1074.8,"body":"letting them in. I know,"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1074.8,"endTime":1077.92,"body":"sometimes people like that idea"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1074.8,"endTime":1077.92,"body":"of \"coming out.\" But more"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1078.16,"endTime":1081.19,"body":"\"letting people in\" to know who"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1078.16,"endTime":1081.19,"body":"you are, you're not hiding this"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1081.19,"endTime":1083.89,"body":"part of yourself, you're not"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1081.19,"endTime":1083.89,"body":"cutting off this piece of your"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1083.89,"endTime":1085.27,"body":"life from the rest of yourself."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1085.57,"endTime":1087.52,"body":"That's cool. You just"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1085.57,"endTime":1087.52,"body":"reversed coming out!"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1088.36,"endTime":1090.1,"body":"Oh, I stole from"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1088.36,"endTime":1090.1,"body":"someone else. I'm not that"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1090.1,"endTime":1090.61,"body":"original."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1092.83,"endTime":1094.57,"body":"But I think this idea of"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1092.83,"endTime":1094.57,"body":"like, if you're not ready to"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1094.57,"endTime":1097.33,"body":"share your story, we can elevate"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1094.57,"endTime":1097.33,"body":"the stories of people who are"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1097.33,"endTime":1097.75,"body":"sharing"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1099.4,"endTime":1102.22,"body":"Like sharing podcasts"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1099.4,"endTime":1102.22,"body":"or books that are being written."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1104.02,"endTime":1107.26,"body":"Thank you so much."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1104.02,"endTime":1107.26,"body":"She's talking about \"Questions"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1107.26,"endTime":1108.91,"body":"from the Closet\" and \"Without"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1107.26,"endTime":1108.91,"body":"the Mask.\""},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1110.28,"endTime":1112.41,"body":"But also Charlie and I"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1110.28,"endTime":1112.41,"body":"talked about this a number of"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1112.41,"endTime":1114.66,"body":"times, it was important for us"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1112.41,"endTime":1114.66,"body":"to have guests on so that we"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1114.69,"endTime":1117.12,"body":"like we're not the only voices"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1114.69,"endTime":1117.12,"body":"who are talking because we want"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1117.12,"endTime":1120.15,"body":"to be like we want a lot of"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1117.12,"endTime":1120.15,"body":"stories to be shared. And even"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1120.15,"endTime":1121.98,"body":"if you're in the closet, you"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1120.15,"endTime":1121.98,"body":"know, I have straight friends"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1121.98,"endTime":1124.47,"body":"who share my story. They share"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1121.98,"endTime":1124.47,"body":"other people's stories. And as"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1124.47,"endTime":1128.04,"body":"we as we elevate more and more"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1124.47,"endTime":1128.04,"body":"stories, and people get to be"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1128.04,"endTime":1130.41,"body":"aware of more and more"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1128.04,"endTime":1130.41,"body":"perspectives, then that's how"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1130.41,"endTime":1132.51,"body":"hearts and minds are going to"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1130.41,"endTime":1132.51,"body":"change. I can't remember the"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1132.51,"endTime":1134.97,"body":"exact quote but there's--I'm"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1132.51,"endTime":1134.97,"body":"paraphrasing--but like it's hard"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1134.97,"endTime":1136.17,"body":"to hate someone up close."},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1136.5,"endTime":1136.77,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1136.77,"endTime":1138.84,"body":"Hard to hate someone you"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1136.77,"endTime":1138.84,"body":"know or something like that. And"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1138.84,"endTime":1142.44,"body":"so the more that people can get"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1138.84,"endTime":1142.44,"body":"acquainted with LGBTQ Latter-day"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1142.44,"endTime":1145.95,"body":"Saints, the better we're going"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1142.44,"endTime":1145.95,"body":"to be as a people."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1146.56,"endTime":1149.47,"body":"And I just kind of want"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1146.56,"endTime":1149.47,"body":"to tack on real quick that that"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1149.47,"endTime":1154.69,"body":"being LGBTQ is not embarrassing"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1149.47,"endTime":1154.69,"body":"or \"less than.\" I don't know why"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1154.69,"endTime":1156.88,"body":"I want to say it because I was"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1154.69,"endTime":1156.88,"body":"thinking about like my brother,"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1157.36,"endTime":1161.05,"body":"how like he is pretty vocal now"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1157.36,"endTime":1161.05,"body":"that I've come out and he shares"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1161.05,"endTime":1165.04,"body":"my, my podcast and my book and"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1161.05,"endTime":1165.04,"body":"does a really great job being an"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1165.04,"endTime":1167.86,"body":"ally and he's straight. And I"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1165.04,"endTime":1167.86,"body":"was like, this was this was"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1167.86,"endTime":1170.14,"body":"honestly my thought process."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1167.86,"endTime":1170.14,"body":"I'll just be completely honest."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1170.17,"endTime":1172.63,"body":"I was like, \"Yeah, he can do it."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1170.17,"endTime":1172.63,"body":"And it's easy for him because"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1172.63,"endTime":1176.77,"body":"he's straight.\" Like, and like"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1172.63,"endTime":1176.77,"body":"there was almost a little bit of"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1176.77,"endTime":1181.72,"body":"jealousy even internally now."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1176.77,"endTime":1181.72,"body":"From me two minutes ago, and I"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1181.72,"endTime":1185.05,"body":"was like, \"You know what? No.\""},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1181.72,"endTime":1185.05,"body":"Like, it's totally like there's"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1185.05,"endTime":1186.82,"body":"nothing embarrassing about being"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1185.05,"endTime":1186.82,"body":"gay."},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1187.51,"endTime":1189.76,"body":"A lot of times you end"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1187.51,"endTime":1189.76,"body":"up feeling vulnerable though"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1189.79,"endTime":1193.21,"body":"because the way society can"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1189.79,"endTime":1193.21,"body":"stigmatize it the way that"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1193.21,"endTime":1195.79,"body":"sometimes church culture may"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1193.21,"endTime":1195.79,"body":"make you feel a little \"less"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1196.12,"endTime":1200.89,"body":"than\" when the culture is so"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1196.12,"endTime":1200.89,"body":"heterosexual family focused. And"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1200.89,"endTime":1202.96,"body":"you're not maybe quite sure"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1200.89,"endTime":1202.96,"body":"where you fit in the plan of"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1202.96,"endTime":1206.92,"body":"salvation or in the church. And"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1202.96,"endTime":1206.92,"body":"but that doesn't mean that you"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1206.92,"endTime":1212.47,"body":"are, you aren't \"less than.\""},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1206.92,"endTime":1212.47,"body":"You're the same human being that"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1212.47,"endTime":1213.49,"body":"anyone else is."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1214.09,"endTime":1216.16,"body":"Yeah, I just wanted to"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1214.09,"endTime":1216.16,"body":"drive that point home because"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1216.16,"endTime":1219.43,"body":"like, it caught me. And I was"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1216.16,"endTime":1219.43,"body":"like, well, I thought I was over"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1219.43,"endTime":1223.63,"body":"that. But but like, you're not,"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1219.43,"endTime":1223.63,"body":"you're not broken, you're not"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1223.63,"endTime":1225.88,"body":"damaged. You're not defective."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1223.63,"endTime":1225.88,"body":"There's nothing wrong with you."},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1227.22,"endTime":1229.23,"body":"Thank you for saying"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1227.22,"endTime":1229.23,"body":"that. I think that's really"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1229.23,"endTime":1230.88,"body":"important to remember, and I"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1229.23,"endTime":1230.88,"body":"think that's one thing that"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1230.88,"endTime":1233.01,"body":"helped me being in the closet"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1230.88,"endTime":1233.01,"body":"was getting to know others and"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1233.01,"endTime":1235.65,"body":"like, they're not \"less than\""},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1233.01,"endTime":1235.65,"body":"because they're gay. Actually, I"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1235.65,"endTime":1237.63,"body":"think they're even cooler"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1235.65,"endTime":1237.63,"body":"because they are because they've"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1237.63,"endTime":1240.57,"body":"had to wrestle with some"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1237.63,"endTime":1240.57,"body":"internal stuff, become more"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1240.57,"endTime":1244.5,"body":"self-aware, and just deal with"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1240.57,"endTime":1244.5,"body":"things. And..."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1245.01,"endTime":1246.27,"body":"You know, I love it."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1245.01,"endTime":1246.27,"body":"It's so true."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1246.3,"endTime":1247.95,"body":"It is interesting. One of"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1246.3,"endTime":1247.95,"body":"the things that really helped me"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1247.95,"endTime":1250.71,"body":"the most was getting to know"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1247.95,"endTime":1250.71,"body":"other gay people, because it was"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1250.71,"endTime":1253.8,"body":"easy to like, hate this part of"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1250.71,"endTime":1253.8,"body":"myself. But then once I got to"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1253.8,"endTime":1255.18,"body":"know other people, I'm like, Oh!"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1255.72,"endTime":1256.05,"body":"You're awesome!"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1256.05,"endTime":1258.72,"body":"Yeah. Oh, they're"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1256.05,"endTime":1258.72,"body":"really cool. Yeah. really"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1258.72,"endTime":1260.55,"body":"similar to me. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1260.61,"endTime":1261.78,"body":"Maybe I'm okay too."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1262.92,"endTime":1265.77,"body":"Excellent. Well,"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1262.92,"endTime":1265.77,"body":"Collette, thank you for coming."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1265.77,"endTime":1268.59,"body":"This was an awesome conversation"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1265.77,"endTime":1268.59,"body":"and thanks for for being open"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1268.59,"endTime":1270.69,"body":"and willing to share more of"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1268.59,"endTime":1270.69,"body":"your story. It's, it's really"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1270.69,"endTime":1271.26,"body":"empowering."},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1271.65,"endTime":1273.39,"body":"Thanks for having me."},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1271.65,"endTime":1273.39,"body":"I think this is a really great"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1273.39,"endTime":1275.52,"body":"opportunity to be able to help"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1273.39,"endTime":1275.52,"body":"some people and I hope to be a"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1275.52,"endTime":1278.19,"body":"resource now that I am more"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1275.52,"endTime":1278.19,"body":"\"out.\" Feel free. You know how"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1278.19,"endTime":1282.24,"body":"to contact through the podcast."},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1278.19,"endTime":1282.24,"body":"However..."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1282.54,"endTime":1285.78,"body":"Now's your time to plug"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1282.54,"endTime":1285.78,"body":"your Instagram. I'm"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1285.78,"endTime":1286.08,"body":"@mrcharliebird."},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1287.83,"endTime":1289.9,"body":"Mine's"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1287.83,"endTime":1289.9,"body":"@collettedalton. I only post my"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1289.9,"endTime":1293.14,"body":"calligraphy stuff there. That's"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1289.9,"endTime":1293.14,"body":"not. But feel free to check it"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1293.14,"endTime":1296.35,"body":"out. Feel free to message. Feel"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1293.14,"endTime":1296.35,"body":"free to--I know Charlie or Ben"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1296.35,"endTime":1299.44,"body":"could pass along any other"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1296.35,"endTime":1299.44,"body":"questions. So ...."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1299.44,"endTime":1299.83,"body":"Of course."},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1299.89,"endTime":1300.88,"body":"I'd be happy to be a"},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1299.89,"endTime":1300.88,"body":"resource."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1300.88,"endTime":1302.56,"body":"We'd be thrilled to do"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1300.88,"endTime":1302.56,"body":"that. And we'll have you on for"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1302.56,"endTime":1305.02,"body":"our next episode. \"How can I be"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1302.56,"endTime":1305.02,"body":"an ally out of the closet?\""},{"speaker":"Collette","startTime":1305.26,"endTime":1305.98,"body":"Sounds great."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1305.98,"endTime":1310.63,"body":"I'm kidding. I'm kidding."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1305.98,"endTime":1310.63,"body":"Thank you for joining us today."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1310.75,"endTime":1313.12,"body":"If you have enjoyed this or"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1310.75,"endTime":1313.12,"body":"other episodes, please consider"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1313.12,"endTime":1315.94,"body":"leaving us an Apple podcast"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1313.12,"endTime":1315.94,"body":"review. And as always, please"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1315.94,"endTime":1317.95,"body":"remember that we do not"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1315.94,"endTime":1317.95,"body":"represent the Church of Jesus"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1317.95,"endTime":1320.65,"body":"Christ of Latter-day Saints or"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1317.95,"endTime":1320.65,"body":"Brigham Young University. You're"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1320.65,"endTime":1322.93,"body":"not trying to be prescriptive or"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1320.65,"endTime":1322.93,"body":"tell anyone what to think or"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1322.93,"endTime":1323.44,"body":"what to do."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1324.11,"endTime":1325.64,"body":"You have heard three"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1324.11,"endTime":1325.64,"body":"perspectives, and there are"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1325.64,"endTime":1328.58,"body":"many, many more. We encourage"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1325.64,"endTime":1328.58,"body":"you to listen to other voices"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1328.58,"endTime":1331.37,"body":"and hear a wide variety of"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1328.58,"endTime":1331.37,"body":"experiences. If you would like"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1331.37,"endTime":1334.07,"body":"to submit a question or share a"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1331.37,"endTime":1334.07,"body":"comment about today's episode,"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1334.22,"endTime":1336.92,"body":"you can email us at"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1334.22,"endTime":1336.92,"body":"questionsfromthecloset@gmail.com."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1337.79,"endTime":1338.6,"body":"Until next time..."}]}