{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":5.79,"endTime":8.25,"body":"Welcome to Questions from"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":5.79,"endTime":8.25,"body":"the Closet. I'm Ben Schilaty."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":8.0,"endTime":11.03,"body":"And I'm Charlie Bird."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":8.0,"endTime":11.03,"body":"Each episode we discuss the"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":11.03,"endTime":13.85,"body":"question that we commonly get"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":11.03,"endTime":13.85,"body":"asked as LGBTQ Latter-day"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":13.85,"endTime":14.33,"body":"Saints."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":14.75,"endTime":16.64,"body":"We're not trying to answer"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":14.75,"endTime":16.64,"body":"this question or come to a"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":16.64,"endTime":18.56,"body":"consensus but simply sharing our"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":16.64,"endTime":18.56,"body":"perspectives."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":18.86,"endTime":21.23,"body":"Today's question is,"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":18.86,"endTime":21.23,"body":"what should my pronouns be?"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":22.01,"endTime":23.9,"body":"Charlie and I are not"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":22.01,"endTime":23.9,"body":"terribly diverse. We share many"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":23.9,"endTime":26.42,"body":"opinions and life experiences."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":23.9,"endTime":26.42,"body":"For example, we both like to"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":26.42,"endTime":26.93,"body":"dance."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":27.08,"endTime":29.03,"body":"However, there are some"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":27.08,"endTime":29.03,"body":"pretty big differences. For"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":29.03,"endTime":33.86,"body":"example, I prefer a more raunchy"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":29.03,"endTime":33.86,"body":"hip hop style and Ben is"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":33.86,"endTime":35.24,"body":"currently taking a tap class."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":35.27,"endTime":37.28,"body":"Yeah, it's actually really"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":35.27,"endTime":37.28,"body":"fun. So one of my good friends"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":37.28,"endTime":39.83,"body":"has moved back here from New"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":37.28,"endTime":39.83,"body":"York with her husband, and he's"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":39.83,"endTime":42.5,"body":"in business school. And so he's"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":39.83,"endTime":42.5,"body":"very busy. And she works from"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":42.5,"endTime":45.11,"body":"home and she's like Ben, we have"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":42.5,"endTime":45.11,"body":"to take a class. I'm gonna be so"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":45.11,"endTime":48.11,"body":"bored. And she said, How about a"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":45.11,"endTime":48.11,"body":"tap class? I said, Yes, let's"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":48.11,"endTime":51.65,"body":"take a tap class. We're taking a"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":48.11,"endTime":51.65,"body":"six week tap class through UVU"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":51.65,"endTime":54.29,"body":"continuing education, and it has"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":51.65,"endTime":54.29,"body":"been incredibly fun."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":54.44,"endTime":56.33,"body":"I can't wait to not go"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":54.44,"endTime":56.33,"body":"to your performances."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":57.53,"endTime":60.11,"body":"We have zero performances"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":57.53,"endTime":60.11,"body":"so your wish is granted."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":60.47,"endTime":64.34,"body":"I went to a Dirty"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":60.47,"endTime":64.34,"body":"Dancing class once at the Vasa"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":64.34,"endTime":66.32,"body":"gym and I was really good."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":68.63,"endTime":70.97,"body":"I actually went to that"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":68.63,"endTime":70.97,"body":"same class like two years ago,"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":70.97,"endTime":73.85,"body":"some of my colleagues from the"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":70.97,"endTime":73.85,"body":"social work program, and"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":73.85,"endTime":76.31,"body":"afterwards, they're like how'd"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":73.85,"endTime":76.31,"body":"you like it? I was like, that's"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":76.31,"endTime":80.33,"body":"a thing that happened. And I"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":76.31,"endTime":80.33,"body":"felt very uncomfortable. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":80.72,"endTime":84.17,"body":"Anyway, we would like to provide"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":80.72,"endTime":84.17,"body":"a variety of voices and"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":84.17,"endTime":86.33,"body":"perspectives. So today, we're"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":84.17,"endTime":86.33,"body":"joined by Marina."},{"speaker":"Marina","startTime":86.48,"endTime":87.23,"body":"Hello."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":87.29,"endTime":88.7,"body":"Tell us a little bit about"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":87.29,"endTime":88.7,"body":"yourself, Marina."},{"speaker":"Marina","startTime":88.0,"endTime":95.02,"body":"I am a BYU student, film"},{"speaker":"Marina","startTime":88.0,"endTime":95.02,"body":"major. I play guitar. I'm a"},{"speaker":"Marina","startTime":95.29,"endTime":98.74,"body":"creative person. I'm also trans."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":99.37,"endTime":101.14,"body":"We should have you make a"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":99.37,"endTime":101.14,"body":"film of yourself playing the"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":101.14,"endTime":102.46,"body":"guitar about what it's like to"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":101.14,"endTime":102.46,"body":"be trans."},{"speaker":"Marina","startTime":102.46,"endTime":103.03,"body":"Yes!"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":103.06,"endTime":104.77,"body":"We could put it as like"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":103.06,"endTime":104.77,"body":"a promo on the Instagram feed."},{"speaker":"Marina","startTime":104.77,"endTime":107.02,"body":"That would have been"},{"speaker":"Marina","startTime":104.77,"endTime":107.02,"body":"amazing. I should have done"},{"speaker":"Marina","startTime":107.02,"endTime":107.32,"body":"that."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":107.35,"endTime":108.85,"body":"We could have included all"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":107.35,"endTime":108.85,"body":"of your creative sides."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":108.88,"endTime":109.75,"body":"Exactly."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":109.78,"endTime":112.03,"body":"Yeah, well, Rina, one thing"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":109.78,"endTime":112.03,"body":"that Charlie and I have been"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":112.03,"endTime":113.92,"body":"talking about for a while, is we"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":112.03,"endTime":113.92,"body":"have not had a lot of trans"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":113.92,"endTime":116.59,"body":"voices on the podcast. And"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":113.92,"endTime":116.59,"body":"that's something that we want to"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":116.59,"endTime":119.44,"body":"do more of. And we're very"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":116.59,"endTime":119.44,"body":"grateful that you were willing"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":119.44,"endTime":121.48,"body":"to be on just talking about your"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":119.44,"endTime":121.48,"body":"experiences and perspectives"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":121.48,"endTime":121.9,"body":"with us."},{"speaker":"Marina","startTime":121.9,"endTime":124.69,"body":"Absolutely. Thanks for"},{"speaker":"Marina","startTime":121.9,"endTime":124.69,"body":"having me. I appreciate it."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":124.75,"endTime":127.18,"body":"Yeah. So today, we're"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":124.75,"endTime":127.18,"body":"talking about pronouns. So if"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":127.18,"endTime":130.12,"body":"you just help us understand what"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":127.18,"endTime":130.12,"body":"led you to choose what your"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":130.12,"endTime":132.34,"body":"pronoun should be, or how you"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":130.12,"endTime":132.34,"body":"came to that decision?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":132.84,"endTime":138.27,"body":"Yeah, so it's really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":132.84,"endTime":138.27,"body":"complicated. And weird for me,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":138.33,"endTime":145.59,"body":"because I identify as a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":138.33,"endTime":145.59,"body":"non-binary trans woman. So the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":145.59,"endTime":153.06,"body":"way I like to explain it is that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":145.59,"endTime":153.06,"body":"I identify more with the one"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":153.09,"endTime":158.73,"body":"pole of this sort of idea of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":153.09,"endTime":158.73,"body":"womanhood, femininity, but I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":158.73,"endTime":168.99,"body":"also slightly more androgynous,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":158.73,"endTime":168.99,"body":"leaning masculine, sometimes. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":169.02,"endTime":176.94,"body":"wanted to use, currently"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":169.02,"endTime":176.94,"body":"she/her/hers pronouns, because I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":176.94,"endTime":182.55,"body":"think that's helpful to me. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":176.94,"endTime":182.55,"body":"don't think I necessarily have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":182.55,"endTime":187.23,"body":"to communicate all of the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":182.55,"endTime":187.23,"body":"nuances of my identity all the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":187.23,"endTime":191.52,"body":"time. You know, and I think"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":187.23,"endTime":191.52,"body":"that's easier, perhaps easier"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":191.52,"endTime":195.33,"body":"to, for other people to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":191.52,"endTime":195.33,"body":"understand."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":196.53,"endTime":201.3,"body":"So you would say like saying,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":196.53,"endTime":201.3,"body":"man or woman, you find yourself"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":201.3,"endTime":203.49,"body":"in a space that's much more"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":201.3,"endTime":203.49,"body":"complex than just those two"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":203.49,"endTime":204.24,"body":"binaries?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":204.0,"endTime":210.72,"body":"Yes, I identify more as a woman"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":204.0,"endTime":210.72,"body":"than as a man, but it's more,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":211.5,"endTime":218.04,"body":"there's more wiggle room and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":211.5,"endTime":218.04,"body":"space. I'm definitely not day to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":218.04,"endTime":223.41,"body":"day life, saying, Oh, I'm a man"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":218.04,"endTime":223.41,"body":"and feel like a man today. You"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":223.41,"endTime":229.86,"body":"know, I definitely identify"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":223.41,"endTime":229.86,"body":"solidly in one side of if you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":229.86,"endTime":235.89,"body":"are looking at it as a spectrum."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":229.86,"endTime":235.89,"body":"But the, it's that pull plus"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":236.19,"endTime":237.48,"body":"some more..."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":237.66,"endTime":239.55,"body":"It moves within that"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":237.66,"endTime":239.55,"body":"side of the spectrum."},{"speaker":"Marina","startTime":239.55,"endTime":239.88,"body":"Yes."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":240.03,"endTime":240.42,"body":"Okay."},{"speaker":"Marina","startTime":240.84,"endTime":241.56,"body":"Absolutely."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":242.49,"endTime":245.25,"body":"And what led you to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":242.49,"endTime":245.25,"body":"start using female pronouns."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":245.28,"endTime":247.29,"body":"Like when did that happen? Just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":245.28,"endTime":247.29,"body":"walk us through that."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":247.0,"endTime":251.71,"body":"Yeah. So for the longest time,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":247.0,"endTime":251.71,"body":"you know, I've been, I was in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":251.71,"endTime":258.16,"body":"denial about my, my identity."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":251.71,"endTime":258.16,"body":"And so I thought from an early"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":258.16,"endTime":263.08,"body":"age, as soon, when I discovered"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":258.16,"endTime":263.08,"body":"that trans people were a thing I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":263.08,"endTime":267.67,"body":"said, \"Oh, you know, that's so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":263.08,"endTime":267.67,"body":"cool. That couldn't be me.\""},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":267.7,"endTime":272.53,"body":"Right? You know, that wasn't a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":267.7,"endTime":272.53,"body":"thing and option for me. But"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":272.53,"endTime":277.39,"body":"then over time, I sort of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":272.53,"endTime":277.39,"body":"started to realize, okay, well,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":277.72,"endTime":284.35,"body":"maybe this is true about me. But"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":277.72,"endTime":284.35,"body":"I didn't have a grasp on it or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":284.35,"endTime":291.46,"body":"what it meant. And I felt it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":284.35,"endTime":291.46,"body":"early on more non-binary, not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":291.46,"endTime":294.94,"body":"identifying as a woman. So I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":291.46,"endTime":294.94,"body":"initially thought, well, maybe I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":294.94,"endTime":299.5,"body":"should use they/them pronouns,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":294.94,"endTime":299.5,"body":"but then later, there was sort"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":299.5,"endTime":305.5,"body":"of, I guess some gender"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":299.5,"endTime":305.5,"body":"euphoria, I suppose, thinking of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":305.5,"endTime":310.81,"body":"myself as a woman and having"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":305.5,"endTime":310.81,"body":"this sort of wiggle room. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":310.81,"endTime":316.78,"body":"then I decided for both,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":310.81,"endTime":316.78,"body":"because, you know, I just like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":316.78,"endTime":323.26,"body":"how it felt when people used"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":316.78,"endTime":323.26,"body":"she/her/hers pronouns for me."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":323.59,"endTime":327.58,"body":"And that I thought it was kind"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":323.59,"endTime":327.58,"body":"of easier to describe my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":327.58,"endTime":331.6,"body":"situation. That way. That's how"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":327.58,"endTime":331.6,"body":"I decided."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":331.69,"endTime":333.85,"body":"So Marina you used an"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":331.69,"endTime":333.85,"body":"interesting term gender"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":333.85,"endTime":334.6,"body":"euphoria."},{"speaker":"Marina","startTime":334.66,"endTime":335.05,"body":"Yes."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":335.08,"endTime":336.85,"body":"And I've heard of gender"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":335.08,"endTime":336.85,"body":"dysphoria, which is the"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":336.85,"endTime":340.09,"body":"discomfort someone feels. And so"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":336.85,"endTime":340.09,"body":"you're saying that this was like"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":340.09,"endTime":342.61,"body":"the opposite of discomfort? This"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":340.09,"endTime":342.61,"body":"was a good, pleasant feeling."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":342.61,"endTime":346.84,"body":"Yes, it was a good, it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":342.61,"endTime":346.84,"body":"was a good vibe. You know, I, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":346.84,"endTime":351.88,"body":"felt like things made sense in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":346.84,"endTime":351.88,"body":"that way."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":352.45,"endTime":354.85,"body":"I'm interested that you"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":352.45,"endTime":354.85,"body":"said that you're using female"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":354.85,"endTime":357.67,"body":"pronouns for now. And it sounds"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":354.85,"endTime":357.67,"body":"like in the process of deciding"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":357.67,"endTime":361.18,"body":"which pronouns to use and what"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":357.67,"endTime":361.18,"body":"you're most comfortable with, as"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":361.18,"endTime":364.21,"body":"you've explored and thought"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":361.18,"endTime":364.21,"body":"about yourself and opened your"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":364.21,"endTime":366.76,"body":"mind to different options, you"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":364.21,"endTime":366.76,"body":"kind of like settle on different"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":366.76,"endTime":370.09,"body":"things, and different words, or"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":366.76,"endTime":370.09,"body":"labels have felt better at"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":370.09,"endTime":371.23,"body":"different times in your life."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":371.3,"endTime":376.31,"body":"Yeah, yeah, for sure. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":371.3,"endTime":376.31,"body":"feel that way about names too"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":376.34,"endTime":383.81,"body":"where I, I picked a name when I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":376.34,"endTime":383.81,"body":"was 19. Going to college, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":383.81,"endTime":389.18,"body":"wanted to reinvent myself, I was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":383.81,"endTime":389.18,"body":"gonna be JoJo, right? Over time,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":389.21,"endTime":394.82,"body":"you know, now, I'm, I'm much,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":389.21,"endTime":394.82,"body":"I'm older, I have different life"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":394.82,"endTime":398.42,"body":"experiences. And I'm saying to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":394.82,"endTime":398.42,"body":"myself, well, you know, I really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":398.42,"endTime":402.95,"body":"shouldn't be beholden to my 18"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":398.42,"endTime":402.95,"body":"year old, you know, 18,19 year"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":402.95,"endTime":407.78,"body":"old self, and what she thought"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":402.95,"endTime":407.78,"body":"about the world, right, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":407.78,"endTime":413.57,"body":"herself. So I decided recently"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":407.78,"endTime":413.57,"body":"that I would go by Marina. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":413.57,"endTime":418.97,"body":"that's a lot more fulfilling"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":413.57,"endTime":418.97,"body":"euphoric to me. And I feel that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":418.97,"endTime":422.75,"body":"it's the same thing with labels"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":418.97,"endTime":422.75,"body":"too. Like, I don't, I don't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":422.75,"endTime":429.2,"body":"think it has to be something you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":422.75,"endTime":429.2,"body":"necessarily pick once and stick"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":429.2,"endTime":433.22,"body":"with it. You know, if you ever"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":429.2,"endTime":433.22,"body":"feel the need to change."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":433.43,"endTime":436.76,"body":"Yeah. And I think that's, a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":433.43,"endTime":436.76,"body":"that's a really gracious way to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":436.76,"endTime":439.67,"body":"look at yourself, and everyone"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":436.76,"endTime":439.67,"body":"else, like we're all trying to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":439.67,"endTime":442.49,"body":"figure out who we are and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":439.67,"endTime":442.49,"body":"learning things about ourselves"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":442.49,"endTime":445.46,"body":"and what, what feels right and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":442.49,"endTime":445.46,"body":"what fits best. As we've been"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":445.46,"endTime":448.01,"body":"asking these questions I've been"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":445.46,"endTime":448.01,"body":"thinking about if someone said,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":448.01,"endTime":450.17,"body":"Ben, when did you choose to be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":448.01,"endTime":450.17,"body":"gay? Or like, when did you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":450.17,"endTime":453.56,"body":"decide you were gay? And those"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":450.17,"endTime":453.56,"body":"questions feel a little abrasive"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":453.56,"endTime":453.98,"body":"to me."},{"speaker":"Marina","startTime":454.04,"endTime":454.4,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":454.61,"endTime":456.71,"body":"So when we're talking about"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":454.61,"endTime":456.71,"body":"pronouns, is it appropriate to"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":456.71,"endTime":459.02,"body":"say like, when did you like, how"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":456.71,"endTime":459.02,"body":"did you choose? Or how do you"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":459.02,"endTime":461.57,"body":"decide? Is that the right"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":459.02,"endTime":461.57,"body":"question? Is that rude?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":461.63,"endTime":464.45,"body":"I don't, I don't think"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":461.63,"endTime":464.45,"body":"so. I don't think it's a rude"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":464.45,"endTime":469.28,"body":"question. When you're talking"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":464.45,"endTime":469.28,"body":"about these sorts of things it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":469.28,"endTime":472.73,"body":"depends on the time and the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":469.28,"endTime":472.73,"body":"place and the person. For"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":472.73,"endTime":478.52,"body":"instance, it's, it's weird, it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":472.73,"endTime":478.52,"body":"might be weird in a, you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":478.52,"endTime":482.24,"body":"the context of a big group"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":478.52,"endTime":482.24,"body":"gathering or something where"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":482.24,"endTime":487.37,"body":"there's a lot of people or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":482.24,"endTime":487.37,"body":"something that might be a kind"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":487.37,"endTime":492.44,"body":"of, on the spot, uncomfortable"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":487.37,"endTime":492.44,"body":"sort of thing where there might"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":492.44,"endTime":497.09,"body":"be this kind of social pressure."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":492.44,"endTime":497.09,"body":"I think if it's just one on one,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":497.12,"endTime":501.41,"body":"or you know, in a smaller group,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":497.12,"endTime":501.41,"body":"more intimate setting, I don't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":501.41,"endTime":508.67,"body":"think that it's a rude question."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":501.41,"endTime":508.67,"body":"I think a lot of the times trans"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":508.67,"endTime":513.77,"body":"people are thinking about this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":508.67,"endTime":513.77,"body":"often and interested in it. So I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":513.77,"endTime":518.18,"body":"think in the, you know, in this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":513.77,"endTime":518.18,"body":"case, they might, you know, we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":518.18,"endTime":521.78,"body":"might think, Oh, it's cool, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":518.18,"endTime":521.78,"body":"know, they want to know about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":521.78,"endTime":522.5,"body":"me, right?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":524.21,"endTime":526.97,"body":"What does it feel like when"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":524.21,"endTime":526.97,"body":"someone talks about you using"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":526.97,"endTime":527.87,"body":"the wrong pronoun?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":528.8,"endTime":537.2,"body":"Shocking. It's kind of a jolt. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":528.8,"endTime":537.2,"body":"can tell when people are making"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":537.2,"endTime":542.51,"body":"an honest mistake. And when they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":537.2,"endTime":542.51,"body":"are trying to be malicious about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":542.51,"endTime":549.08,"body":"it. When people mess up it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":542.51,"endTime":549.08,"body":"jarring and jolting and can be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":549.08,"endTime":553.7,"body":"frustrating because it feels"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":549.08,"endTime":553.7,"body":"like they're not taking me"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":553.7,"endTime":558.62,"body":"seriously, or my identity, or my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":553.7,"endTime":558.62,"body":"feelings about myself, my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":558.62,"endTime":563.3,"body":"reality. I can usually point"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":558.62,"endTime":563.3,"body":"out, hey, you know, he"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":563.3,"endTime":568.67,"body":"misgendered me or they will"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":563.3,"endTime":568.67,"body":"catch themselves. And we can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":568.67,"endTime":573.47,"body":"just move on, you know, quickly,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":568.67,"endTime":573.47,"body":"we correct, correct it and move"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":573.47,"endTime":578.54,"body":"on. What's hard for me is when"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":573.47,"endTime":578.54,"body":"we kind of stay in that moment,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":578.72,"endTime":582.98,"body":"for too long, where they feel"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":578.72,"endTime":582.98,"body":"the need to like really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":582.98,"endTime":587.06,"body":"apologize, like it's this giant"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":582.98,"endTime":587.06,"body":"thing. Like it is this shocking"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":587.09,"endTime":592.76,"body":"thing that bothers me but what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":587.09,"endTime":592.76,"body":"bothers me more is the whole"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":592.79,"endTime":598.61,"body":"moment. You know, it's not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":592.79,"endTime":598.61,"body":"necessarily that it happened or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":598.67,"endTime":603.95,"body":"it's, it's staying In that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":598.67,"endTime":603.95,"body":"awkward space. So then they if"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":603.95,"endTime":607.31,"body":"people kind of feel the need to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":603.95,"endTime":607.31,"body":"really apologize and make it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":607.31,"endTime":612.35,"body":"this giant thing it feels to me"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":607.31,"endTime":612.35,"body":"like, somehow I have done"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":612.35,"endTime":615.41,"body":"something wrong, you know, when"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":612.35,"endTime":615.41,"body":"I haven't, you know, because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":615.41,"endTime":621.08,"body":"it's like, Ah, now I have to,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":615.41,"endTime":621.08,"body":"you know, I have to forgive this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":621.08,"endTime":625.01,"body":"person, right, of this thing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":621.08,"endTime":625.01,"body":"that I don't think should be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":625.01,"endTime":626.09,"body":"that big of a deal."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":626.72,"endTime":629.69,"body":"Yeah, I remember, Marina at one"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":626.72,"endTime":629.69,"body":"time, I was having dinner at"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":629.69,"endTime":631.97,"body":"your parents house. And I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":629.69,"endTime":631.97,"body":"remember your, your mom"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":632.0,"endTime":634.97,"body":"misgendered you. And I just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":632.0,"endTime":634.97,"body":"remembered seeing your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":634.97,"endTime":637.4,"body":"incredible graciousness with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":634.97,"endTime":637.4,"body":"that. I think I even did that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":637.4,"endTime":640.16,"body":"same night. And you were just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":637.4,"endTime":640.16,"body":"always really gracious and I and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":640.16,"endTime":643.19,"body":"thank you for for sharing that,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":640.16,"endTime":643.19,"body":"that we don't need to make these"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":643.19,"endTime":646.7,"body":"big apologies or it's just don't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":643.19,"endTime":646.7,"body":"live in that moment. It's a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":646.7,"endTime":648.05,"body":"mistake for sure. Let's move on."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":648.81,"endTime":650.49,"body":"Kind of on the flip"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":648.81,"endTime":650.49,"body":"side of that, what does it feel"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":650.49,"endTime":653.82,"body":"like when someone talks about"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":650.49,"endTime":653.82,"body":"you using the correct pronouns?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":653.0,"endTime":659.39,"body":"Ummm most of the time."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":653.0,"endTime":659.39,"body":"I don't notice."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":660.56,"endTime":662.36,"body":"That's kind of what I was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":660.56,"endTime":662.36,"body":"getting at. Does it feel like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":662.39,"endTime":664.01,"body":"good? Or does it just feel"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":662.39,"endTime":664.01,"body":"normal?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":663.99,"endTime":671.25,"body":"It feels normal. Um, I think"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":663.99,"endTime":671.25,"body":"sometimes when, especially if"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":671.31,"endTime":676.35,"body":"that person is prone to making"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":671.31,"endTime":676.35,"body":"the mistake of you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":676.35,"endTime":683.28,"body":"misgendering me, right? It can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":676.35,"endTime":683.28,"body":"be this sort of quiet, peaceful"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":683.28,"endTime":687.21,"body":"moment where I'm like, oh, this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":683.28,"endTime":687.21,"body":"person is really, you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":687.21,"endTime":691.74,"body":"trying really cares. And it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":687.21,"endTime":691.74,"body":"just nice and normal and warm."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":691.74,"endTime":697.62,"body":"And I like that sort of feeling"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":691.74,"endTime":697.62,"body":"of normality. Like I just a lot"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":697.62,"endTime":704.28,"body":"of the trans experience is about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":697.62,"endTime":704.28,"body":"trying to achieve normality in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":704.28,"endTime":708.87,"body":"our lives. You know, whether it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":704.28,"endTime":708.87,"body":"feels like everything is kind of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":708.99,"endTime":714.78,"body":"upended and weird. And there's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":708.99,"endTime":714.78,"body":"o many things in our way, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":714.78,"endTime":719.94,"body":"hings that are hard and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":714.78,"endTime":719.94,"body":"ifficult. And so when something"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":719.94,"endTime":725.55,"body":"s just normal, and it feels"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":719.94,"endTime":725.55,"body":"ike I can have a normal day,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":725.55,"endTime":728.22,"body":"ou know, it's wonderful."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":729.35,"endTime":732.62,"body":"You know, I don't know where"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":729.35,"endTime":732.62,"body":"it's like to be misgendered. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":732.62,"endTime":735.47,"body":"think the closest parallel I can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":732.62,"endTime":735.47,"body":"find is, when I was on my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":735.47,"endTime":738.62,"body":"mission, I was Elder Schilaty."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":735.47,"endTime":738.62,"body":"Every once in a while someone"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":738.62,"endTime":740.72,"body":"would, you know, want to know"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":738.62,"endTime":740.72,"body":"what my first name was? And I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":740.72,"endTime":742.97,"body":"would sometimes tell them, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":740.72,"endTime":742.97,"body":"they were like, insist on"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":742.97,"endTime":745.37,"body":"calling me by my first name. I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":742.97,"endTime":745.37,"body":"like, No, no, no, no, no, like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":745.37,"endTime":748.49,"body":"call me Elder Schilaty. And then"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":745.37,"endTime":748.49,"body":"when I got home and people that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":748.49,"endTime":751.94,"body":"I like know and love called me,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":748.49,"endTime":751.94,"body":"Ben. I hadn't been called Ben"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":751.94,"endTime":755.99,"body":"for two years. It just like felt"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":751.94,"endTime":755.99,"body":"like home."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":756.02,"endTime":759.77,"body":"Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":756.02,"endTime":759.77,"body":"completely understand that too."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":759.83,"endTime":760.16,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":760.42,"endTime":763.09,"body":"I'm kind of trying to think back"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":760.42,"endTime":763.09,"body":"on my first exposure to the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":763.09,"endTime":765.88,"body":"trans community. And it was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":763.09,"endTime":765.88,"body":"around the same time I started"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":765.91,"endTime":770.47,"body":"getting involved in like, LGBTQ"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":765.91,"endTime":770.47,"body":"things. So kind of like, as I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":770.47,"endTime":772.45,"body":"was coming out, I was meeting"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":770.47,"endTime":772.45,"body":"more people and gaining more"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":772.45,"endTime":775.54,"body":"education, and exposure to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":772.45,"endTime":775.54,"body":"different walks of life and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":775.54,"endTime":778.54,"body":"different people. And I remember"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":775.54,"endTime":778.54,"body":"going to this conference once."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":779.32,"endTime":782.5,"body":"And we had to write our names on"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":779.32,"endTime":782.5,"body":"like, a name tag, and then put"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":782.5,"endTime":786.94,"body":"our pronouns on it. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":782.5,"endTime":786.94,"body":"initially, I was like, Why? I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":786.94,"endTime":789.49,"body":"was like, what? That's, that's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":786.94,"endTime":789.49,"body":"weird. I've never had to do this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":789.49,"endTime":793.33,"body":"before. I was like, okay,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":789.49,"endTime":793.33,"body":"whatever. Like he/him/his, it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":793.33,"endTime":795.46,"body":"kind of obvious. You know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":793.33,"endTime":795.46,"body":"that's kind of the mindset I was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":795.46,"endTime":798.22,"body":"in. I was thinking about that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":795.46,"endTime":798.22,"body":"experience. And then at the same"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":798.22,"endTime":801.34,"body":"time, as we were preparing for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":798.22,"endTime":801.34,"body":"this episode, I thought about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":801.82,"endTime":804.28,"body":"once when I was at BYU, and it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":801.82,"endTime":804.28,"body":"was before I'd come out, and I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":804.28,"endTime":807.52,"body":"was scared, I felt unsure of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":804.28,"endTime":807.52,"body":"myself. And I was walking by"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":807.58,"endTime":810.61,"body":"just down the hallway. And I saw"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":807.58,"endTime":810.61,"body":"outside of one of the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":810.61,"endTime":813.52,"body":"professor's offices, she'd put"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":810.61,"endTime":813.52,"body":"like a little rainbow sticker"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":813.52,"endTime":817.36,"body":"that said, safe space. And I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":813.52,"endTime":817.36,"body":"just really needed to talk to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":817.36,"endTime":821.92,"body":"someone. So I knocked on her"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":817.36,"endTime":821.92,"body":"door. And she opened it up and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":821.92,"endTime":825.67,"body":"was like, Hi, come in, strange"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":821.92,"endTime":825.67,"body":"student. And I sat down with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":825.67,"endTime":829.03,"body":"her. And I was like, I saw your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":825.67,"endTime":829.03,"body":"sticker. I'm gay. And I just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":829.03,"endTime":831.7,"body":"kind of like, unloaded on her."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":829.03,"endTime":831.7,"body":"And I really needed that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":831.7,"endTime":835.42,"body":"experience. And we talked and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":831.7,"endTime":835.42,"body":"her doing that one, like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":835.66,"endTime":839.41,"body":"seemingly not a big deal thing,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":835.66,"endTime":839.41,"body":"really had an influence on the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":839.41,"endTime":842.77,"body":"way I felt accepted. And the way"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":839.41,"endTime":842.77,"body":"that I felt like I really did"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":842.77,"endTime":846.16,"body":"have a safe space. And I kind of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":842.77,"endTime":846.16,"body":"was drawing a parallel between"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":846.16,"endTime":850.09,"body":"those two things of just me,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":846.16,"endTime":850.09,"body":"perhaps at this conference,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":850.09,"endTime":853.33,"body":"having my pronouns written"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":850.09,"endTime":853.33,"body":"underneath my name, gave someone"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":853.33,"endTime":856.93,"body":"else a safe space and made them"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":853.33,"endTime":856.93,"body":"feel like you're welcome here."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":856.96,"endTime":860.44,"body":"We want to know more about you."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":856.96,"endTime":860.44,"body":"You're not in any danger. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":860.44,"endTime":863.56,"body":"we're glad you're here. As I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":860.44,"endTime":863.56,"body":"thought about it that way. I was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":863.56,"endTime":867.55,"body":"like, really grateful that like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":863.56,"endTime":867.55,"body":"a couple years ago, me was like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":867.55,"endTime":869.68,"body":"You know what, even though I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":867.55,"endTime":869.68,"body":"think this is weird, I will put"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":869.68,"endTime":873.01,"body":"these pronouns on. And I think"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":869.68,"endTime":873.01,"body":"if we can all have that mindset"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":873.01,"endTime":877.12,"body":"going forward, is, like even if"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":873.01,"endTime":877.12,"body":"something's you know, foreign or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":877.12,"endTime":880.18,"body":"feels weird, or you don't really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":877.12,"endTime":880.18,"body":"know why it's important, as we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":880.6,"endTime":883.6,"body":"realize that it is important to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":880.6,"endTime":883.6,"body":"somebody else, to somebody else,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":883.75,"endTime":886.48,"body":"then we can just build a better"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":883.75,"endTime":886.48,"body":"community."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":886.71,"endTime":889.47,"body":"So Marina, when people"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":886.71,"endTime":889.47,"body":"introduce themselves, would you"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":889.47,"endTime":892.2,"body":"prefer that we would introduce"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":889.47,"endTime":892.2,"body":"ourselves with our pronouns?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":892.57,"endTime":897.46,"body":"First, first off, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":892.57,"endTime":897.46,"body":"think, yes, it would be so cool."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":897.76,"endTime":903.16,"body":"If just everyone would just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":897.76,"endTime":903.16,"body":"introduce themselves, names and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":903.16,"endTime":908.05,"body":"pronouns. That way we all know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":903.16,"endTime":908.05,"body":"you know what ground we're on,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":908.05,"endTime":912.76,"body":"you know, who's who, what's up."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":908.05,"endTime":912.76,"body":"I think if we can move towards"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":912.76,"endTime":921.49,"body":"that communities and just the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":912.76,"endTime":921.49,"body":"world will be better, right? At"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":921.49,"endTime":927.73,"body":"certain times, though, there's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":921.49,"endTime":927.73,"body":"this way in which people don't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":927.73,"endTime":933.85,"body":"feel safe in a space, even if we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":927.73,"endTime":933.85,"body":"are sharing our pronouns, right?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":934.12,"endTime":939.01,"body":"So I think, what the expectation"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":934.12,"endTime":939.01,"body":"should be is that when we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":939.01,"endTime":946.15,"body":"introduce ourselves, you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":939.01,"endTime":946.15,"body":"allies should totally pronoun,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":946.18,"endTime":949.72,"body":"you know, like, like, we should"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":946.18,"endTime":949.72,"body":"just normalize the practice of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":949.72,"endTime":955.18,"body":"giving pronouns out, right. But"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":949.72,"endTime":955.18,"body":"sometimes, you know, I've been"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":955.18,"endTime":961.63,"body":"in situations where it's, like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":955.18,"endTime":961.63,"body":"weird, and I don't necessarily"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":961.63,"endTime":967.69,"body":"feel safe, or, and it would feel"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":961.63,"endTime":967.69,"body":"weird in that situation to kind"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":967.69,"endTime":971.05,"body":"of to out myself, right. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":967.69,"endTime":971.05,"body":"yeah, I don't know, I'm of two"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":971.05,"endTime":972.61,"body":"minds about it. You know?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":972.7,"endTime":975.22,"body":"That's tricky. Like, like, let's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":972.7,"endTime":975.22,"body":"normalize this experience of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":975.25,"endTime":977.17,"body":"introducing ourselves with our"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":975.25,"endTime":977.17,"body":"pronouns. Then if we're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":977.23,"endTime":978.94,"body":"requiring that of people, then"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":977.23,"endTime":978.94,"body":"you're putting them in a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":978.94,"endTime":980.95,"body":"position where they have decided"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":978.94,"endTime":980.95,"body":"they're gonna be out in that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":980.95,"endTime":981.49,"body":"moment."},{"speaker":"Marina","startTime":982.54,"endTime":983.65,"body":"For sure, yeah. Right."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":983.0,"endTime":985.85,"body":"It's interesting,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":983.0,"endTime":985.85,"body":"because Charlie said, you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":986.45,"endTime":989.03,"body":"I don't think about introducing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":986.45,"endTime":989.03,"body":"myself with my pronouns, because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":989.03,"endTime":992.78,"body":"I feel like, obviously, I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":989.03,"endTime":992.78,"body":"male. And, and I think that just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":992.78,"endTime":995.84,"body":"comes from my my cisgender"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":992.78,"endTime":995.84,"body":"privilege. And as we're talking,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":995.84,"endTime":999.17,"body":"I'm thinking, maybe I should put"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":995.84,"endTime":999.17,"body":"that in my email signature. One"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":999.17,"endTime":1001.9,"body":"thing that I was thinking, as I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":999.17,"endTime":1001.9,"body":"thought about this is when I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1001.9,"endTime":1004.36,"body":"using someone's pronouns, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1001.9,"endTime":1004.36,"body":"know, I'm speaking directly to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1004.36,"endTime":1007.45,"body":"you, I'm using, you know, second"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1004.36,"endTime":1007.45,"body":"person pronouns. And so when I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1007.45,"endTime":1009.94,"body":"using third person pronouns,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1007.45,"endTime":1009.94,"body":"it's usually when I'm talking"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1009.94,"endTime":1013.6,"body":"about the person and not to the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1009.94,"endTime":1013.6,"body":"person, so they often have no"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1013.6,"endTime":1017.68,"body":"idea that I'm using the correct"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1013.6,"endTime":1017.68,"body":"pronouns or not. As I've gotten"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1017.68,"endTime":1021.4,"body":"to know the trans community"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1017.68,"endTime":1021.4,"body":"more, I've become more aware of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1021.43,"endTime":1024.97,"body":"the respect that it shows to use"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1021.43,"endTime":1024.97,"body":"someone's preferred pronouns,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1025.21,"endTime":1026.47,"body":"even when they're not in the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1025.21,"endTime":1026.47,"body":"room."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1026.54,"endTime":1034.07,"body":"Yes. Sometimes, you know, in my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1026.54,"endTime":1034.07,"body":"situation, until very recently,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1034.34,"endTime":1041.15,"body":"I was not out, but I was out"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1034.34,"endTime":1041.15,"body":"with particular people. So in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1041.15,"endTime":1045.83,"body":"those situations, I would have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1041.15,"endTime":1045.83,"body":"conversations, one on one with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1045.83,"endTime":1050.06,"body":"people, and they would come to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1045.83,"endTime":1050.06,"body":"me and ask me, you know, what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1050.06,"endTime":1055.13,"body":"pronoun should I use? What"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1050.06,"endTime":1055.13,"body":"should I, you know, should I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1055.13,"endTime":1060.8,"body":"tell, should I tell people, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1055.13,"endTime":1060.8,"body":"know, should I use these"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1060.8,"endTime":1065.03,"body":"pronouns when I'm talking about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1060.8,"endTime":1065.03,"body":"you? In certain situations I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1065.03,"endTime":1070.82,"body":"would say no, like, I think it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1065.03,"endTime":1070.82,"body":"just good for you to know who I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1070.82,"endTime":1074.45,"body":"am. So we can talk. So we can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1070.82,"endTime":1074.45,"body":"have this space, this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1074.45,"endTime":1077.81,"body":"friendship, this connection,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1074.45,"endTime":1077.81,"body":"right? But I don't think that's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1077.81,"endTime":1082.34,"body":"necessarily something that we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1077.81,"endTime":1082.34,"body":"need to share with the world,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1082.34,"endTime":1091.19,"body":"right? But now, I'm more out. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1082.34,"endTime":1091.19,"body":"it's less of, in my case now,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1091.37,"endTime":1097.01,"body":"it's less of a big deal. I would"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1091.37,"endTime":1097.01,"body":"just, rather than having to have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1097.01,"endTime":1100.73,"body":"the conversation with every"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1097.01,"endTime":1100.73,"body":"single person coming out"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1100.73,"endTime":1104.69,"body":"constantly, you know, if people"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1100.73,"endTime":1104.69,"body":"can just say, \"Oh, yeah, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1104.69,"endTime":1109.49,"body":"know, Marina, she's doing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1104.69,"endTime":1109.49,"body":"great\", right? That is this very"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1109.52,"endTime":1110.75,"body":"nice thing for me."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1111.74,"endTime":1115.04,"body":"What would you say to someone"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1111.74,"endTime":1115.04,"body":"who, who, because their belief"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1115.04,"endTime":1117.92,"body":"system, they believe that there"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1115.04,"endTime":1117.92,"body":"are two genders, there's male"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1117.92,"endTime":1122.54,"body":"and female, and your gender is,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1117.92,"endTime":1122.54,"body":"is congruent with your sex"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1122.54,"endTime":1124.73,"body":"assigned at birth? You know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1122.54,"endTime":1124.73,"body":"what would you say to someone"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1124.73,"endTime":1129.32,"body":"who believes that way? Who is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1124.73,"endTime":1129.32,"body":"wondering, well, would it be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1129.32,"endTime":1134.09,"body":"against my beliefs if I, if I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1129.32,"endTime":1134.09,"body":"use a trans person's preferred"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1134.09,"endTime":1134.87,"body":"pronouns?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1136.19,"endTime":1145.61,"body":"When I think about Jesus Christ,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1136.19,"endTime":1145.61,"body":"I think about a man, a person,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1145.97,"endTime":1151.61,"body":"the Son of God, right, who was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1145.97,"endTime":1151.61,"body":"just kind and loving and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1151.61,"endTime":1156.2,"body":"understanding of all people,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1151.61,"endTime":1156.2,"body":"right, no matter who they were,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1156.53,"endTime":1161.09,"body":"what they, what they did, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1156.53,"endTime":1161.09,"body":"know? He was not spending his"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1161.09,"endTime":1169.88,"body":"time with the most educated, the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1161.09,"endTime":1169.88,"body":"most wealthy, you know, the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1169.88,"endTime":1175.67,"body":"people, the kind of things we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1169.88,"endTime":1175.67,"body":"prioritize here on Earth, right?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1176.15,"endTime":1185.45,"body":"I think that Jesus would use the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1176.15,"endTime":1185.45,"body":"right pronouns. Like that's just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1185.48,"endTime":1191.39,"body":"honestly, that is, I mean,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1185.48,"endTime":1191.39,"body":"that's my own sort of, warm,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1191.39,"endTime":1199.1,"body":"fuzzy feeling about it. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1191.39,"endTime":1199.1,"body":"this, the way I have felt God"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1199.58,"endTime":1206.0,"body":"affirming my gender. So I don't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1199.58,"endTime":1206.0,"body":"feel like it's incongruous, what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1206.0,"endTime":1211.4,"body":"we should prioritize as being"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1206.0,"endTime":1211.4,"body":"kind and loving, to all people."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1211.46,"endTime":1214.46,"body":"Right? You know, and once again,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1211.46,"endTime":1214.46,"body":"this isn't, these aren't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1214.46,"endTime":1217.94,"body":"parallels but but I remember"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1214.46,"endTime":1217.94,"body":"when President Nelson asked us"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1217.94,"endTime":1221.18,"body":"to stop using the term Mormon"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1217.94,"endTime":1221.18,"body":"and Mormon church and say,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1221.21,"endTime":1223.28,"body":"members of the Church of Jesus"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1221.21,"endTime":1223.28,"body":"Christ of Latter-day Saints and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1223.28,"endTime":1225.17,"body":"Latter-day Saints, and there are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1223.28,"endTime":1225.17,"body":"a lot of people who don't think"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1225.17,"endTime":1227.42,"body":"we're Christians. And here we're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1225.17,"endTime":1227.42,"body":"saying, call us members of the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1227.42,"endTime":1231.14,"body":"Church of Jesus Christ. And that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1227.42,"endTime":1231.14,"body":"might be, that might not fit"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1231.14,"endTime":1233.45,"body":"with how they view us. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1231.14,"endTime":1233.45,"body":"remember a number, a number of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1233.45,"endTime":1237.62,"body":"my friends who aren't members of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1233.45,"endTime":1237.62,"body":"the church started using the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1237.62,"endTime":1240.62,"body":"term Latter-day Saint because I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1237.62,"endTime":1240.62,"body":"said, you know, I'm referring to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1240.62,"endTime":1243.35,"body":"myself as a Latter-day saint"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1240.62,"endTime":1243.35,"body":"now, and not as a Mormon. And it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1243.35,"endTime":1246.11,"body":"just, it was just really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1243.35,"endTime":1246.11,"body":"meaningful to me, when people"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1246.11,"endTime":1249.62,"body":"were willing to change how I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1246.11,"endTime":1249.62,"body":"labeled myself, because I had"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1249.62,"endTime":1250.28,"body":"asked them to."},{"speaker":"Marina","startTime":1250.31,"endTime":1252.77,"body":"For sure, there's a"},{"speaker":"Marina","startTime":1250.31,"endTime":1252.77,"body":"level of respect."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1253.11,"endTime":1254.91,"body":"When I started writing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1253.11,"endTime":1254.91,"body":"my book, that's kind of when"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1254.91,"endTime":1258.03,"body":"this change happened. And I was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1254.91,"endTime":1258.03,"body":"like, oh, gosh, that makes it so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1258.03,"endTime":1260.31,"body":"much more difficult. Because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1258.03,"endTime":1260.31,"body":"before I could just say the word"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1260.31,"endTime":1263.1,"body":"Mormon, and then it would like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1260.31,"endTime":1263.1,"body":"convey everything, and it's a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1263.1,"endTime":1266.31,"body":"short word. It's packaged. It's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1263.1,"endTime":1266.31,"body":"very nice. I was like, Oh, it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1266.31,"endTime":1269.16,"body":"gonna be so much more difficult"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1266.31,"endTime":1269.16,"body":"for me to write about this, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1269.16,"endTime":1272.01,"body":"so much more wordier. And,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1269.16,"endTime":1272.01,"body":"again, like, I don't want to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1272.01,"endTime":1275.16,"body":"make a direct parallel, because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1272.01,"endTime":1275.16,"body":"you can't, but in a way, like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1275.16,"endTime":1278.31,"body":"if it's harder to use the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1275.16,"endTime":1278.31,"body":"correct pronouns, you have to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1278.31,"endTime":1281.97,"body":"think about it more. Like, it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1278.31,"endTime":1281.97,"body":"means you're doing something"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1281.97,"endTime":1284.58,"body":"meaningful for that person, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1281.97,"endTime":1284.58,"body":"you're doing a good thing. And I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1284.58,"endTime":1287.7,"body":"think it's really amazing. Like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1284.58,"endTime":1287.7,"body":"that's what charity is right"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1287.73,"endTime":1291.75,"body":"giving of ourselves, and going"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1287.73,"endTime":1291.75,"body":"the extra mile, to accommodate,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1291.78,"endTime":1294.54,"body":"to love, to show support and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1291.78,"endTime":1294.54,"body":"respect for another person."},{"speaker":"Marina","startTime":1294.75,"endTime":1297.51,"body":"For sure, the hard"},{"speaker":"Marina","startTime":1294.75,"endTime":1297.51,"body":"things are the things that are"},{"speaker":"Marina","startTime":1297.51,"endTime":1299.61,"body":"probably worth doing."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1299.67,"endTime":1301.68,"body":"I remember some of my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1299.67,"endTime":1301.68,"body":"friends who identify as"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1301.71,"endTime":1304.56,"body":"non-binary who used"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1301.71,"endTime":1304.56,"body":"they/them/theirs pronouns. It"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1304.56,"endTime":1308.13,"body":"was hard for me. Like it used,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1304.56,"endTime":1308.13,"body":"it took mental energy, for me"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1308.13,"endTime":1310.53,"body":"and I, and at first I kind of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1308.13,"endTime":1310.53,"body":"like rolled my eyes, but then,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1310.56,"endTime":1312.54,"body":"you know, like us, were saying,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1310.56,"endTime":1312.54,"body":"you know, that that's kindness"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1312.54,"endTime":1316.47,"body":"and respect, kind of won out,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1312.54,"endTime":1316.47,"body":"and I've thought, if I feel"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1316.47,"endTime":1318.33,"body":"uncomfortable, whatever I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1316.47,"endTime":1318.33,"body":"going to do the thing that the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1318.33,"endTime":1319.2,"body":"person's asked me to do."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1319.9,"endTime":1323.65,"body":"As a gay person, I see evidence"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1319.9,"endTime":1323.65,"body":"in my daily life that I don't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1323.65,"endTime":1326.77,"body":"fit in, right, that there's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1323.65,"endTime":1326.77,"body":"things about me that go against"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1326.8,"endTime":1329.41,"body":"the grain, that provide friction"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1326.8,"endTime":1329.41,"body":"for people, that other people"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1329.41,"endTime":1334.33,"body":"don't sit well with. And I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1329.41,"endTime":1334.33,"body":"think, as a trans person, there"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1334.33,"endTime":1337.75,"body":"must be so much more of that."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1334.33,"endTime":1337.75,"body":"Right? Like it's everywhere. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1337.78,"endTime":1341.38,"body":"because I'm thinking about even"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1337.78,"endTime":1341.38,"body":"the way you are talked to and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1341.38,"endTime":1345.67,"body":"talked about, can either connote"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1341.38,"endTime":1345.67,"body":"a sense of acceptance or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1345.67,"endTime":1350.02,"body":"rejection. I was recently going"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1345.67,"endTime":1350.02,"body":"through like, suicide rates for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1350.02,"endTime":1353.77,"body":"LGBTQ individuals, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1350.02,"endTime":1353.77,"body":"comparing, you know, gay males"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1353.77,"endTime":1357.34,"body":"versus bisexual females, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1353.77,"endTime":1357.34,"body":"transgender males. And almost"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1357.34,"endTime":1360.07,"body":"every study, in every case,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1357.34,"endTime":1360.07,"body":"transgender individuals have a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1360.07,"endTime":1364.3,"body":"higher risk of depression, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1360.07,"endTime":1364.3,"body":"anxiety and suicide. And to me,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1364.69,"endTime":1368.17,"body":"it just kind of makes sense,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1364.69,"endTime":1368.17,"body":"because there's so much social"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1368.17,"endTime":1372.04,"body":"pressure, and social messaging"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1368.17,"endTime":1372.04,"body":"that says, You don't belong here"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1372.04,"endTime":1376.72,"body":"you don't fit in. And so just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1372.04,"endTime":1376.72,"body":"the simple act of using your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1376.72,"endTime":1380.2,"body":"words, using a correct pronoun,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1376.72,"endTime":1380.2,"body":"to bring someone into your fold"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1380.2,"endTime":1383.23,"body":"to say, \"You can be on my team."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1380.2,"endTime":1383.23,"body":"You can sit next to me. We can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1383.23,"endTime":1387.01,"body":"be together.\" Like think of what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1383.23,"endTime":1387.01,"body":"that could do to someone who"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1387.01,"endTime":1390.82,"body":"maybe is struggling with some of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1387.01,"endTime":1390.82,"body":"these really difficult feelings"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1390.82,"endTime":1394.18,"body":"of depression and loneliness and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1390.82,"endTime":1394.18,"body":"anxiety. And to just use"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1394.18,"endTime":1399.37,"body":"something simple as to say he,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1394.18,"endTime":1399.37,"body":"or she, instead of he or she, or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1399.37,"endTime":1402.82,"body":"them, and you know, just a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1399.37,"endTime":1402.82,"body":"simple pronoun can make a huge"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1402.82,"endTime":1405.97,"body":"difference in someone's seeing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1402.82,"endTime":1405.97,"body":"that they have space."},{"speaker":"Marina","startTime":1405.97,"endTime":1406.78,"body":"Absolutely."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1406.93,"endTime":1409.15,"body":"So what would you say"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1406.93,"endTime":1409.15,"body":"to someone who's saying, I don't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1409.15,"endTime":1411.82,"body":"really know how to identify I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1409.15,"endTime":1411.82,"body":"not sure which pronouns to use?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1411.9,"endTime":1416.4,"body":"I would say, try them out. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1411.9,"endTime":1416.4,"body":"then you know, see how they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1416.4,"endTime":1421.86,"body":"feel. See how other people you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1416.4,"endTime":1421.86,"body":"know, respond to that. And how,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1421.89,"endTime":1427.41,"body":"how, how it makes you feel when"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1421.89,"endTime":1427.41,"body":"they use those pronouns for you."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1427.95,"endTime":1431.79,"body":"And then if you don't like the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1427.95,"endTime":1431.79,"body":"way that those pronouns feel,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1432.15,"endTime":1437.19,"body":"choose different ones, you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1432.15,"endTime":1437.19,"body":"use any pronouns you want. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1437.19,"endTime":1443.34,"body":"guess just as a final message to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1437.19,"endTime":1443.34,"body":"people who are listening, if you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1443.79,"endTime":1446.97,"body":"are questioning your identity,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1443.79,"endTime":1446.97,"body":"questioning if you should be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1446.97,"endTime":1452.31,"body":"using different pronouns, know"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1446.97,"endTime":1452.31,"body":"that you are valid and loved and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1452.31,"endTime":1459.24,"body":"that it's a process. It's not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1452.31,"endTime":1459.24,"body":"something that you immediately"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1460.26,"endTime":1465.96,"body":"try once and are perfect at and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1460.26,"endTime":1465.96,"body":"understand completely. It's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1465.96,"endTime":1472.38,"body":"always a process. And I think"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1465.96,"endTime":1472.38,"body":"it's important to find joy in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1472.38,"endTime":1476.91,"body":"the process of finding yourself"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1472.38,"endTime":1476.91,"body":"out and realizing that you've"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1476.91,"endTime":1481.11,"body":"taken steps forward toward a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1476.91,"endTime":1481.11,"body":"better you."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1482.25,"endTime":1484.14,"body":"And Marina as we've been"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1482.25,"endTime":1484.14,"body":"talking, I'm just realizing my,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1484.17,"endTime":1487.5,"body":"my cisgender privilege that I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1484.17,"endTime":1487.5,"body":"have never even considered my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1487.5,"endTime":1491.01,"body":"pronouns are, because everything"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1487.5,"endTime":1491.01,"body":"just fits."},{"speaker":"Marina","startTime":1491.13,"endTime":1491.37,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1491.4,"endTime":1494.46,"body":"Always has. And so just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1491.4,"endTime":1494.46,"body":"thank you so much for sharing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1494.46,"endTime":1497.94,"body":"your story, and your wisdom with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1494.46,"endTime":1497.94,"body":"us and we really appreciate"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1497.94,"endTime":1498.3,"body":"being on."},{"speaker":"Marina","startTime":1498.36,"endTime":1499.65,"body":"Thank you for having me."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1499.95,"endTime":1502.35,"body":"Thank you for joining us"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1499.95,"endTime":1502.35,"body":"today. If you have enjoyed this"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1502.35,"endTime":1504.54,"body":"or other episodes, please"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1502.35,"endTime":1504.54,"body":"consider leaving us an apple"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1504.54,"endTime":1507.51,"body":"podcast review. And as always,"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1504.54,"endTime":1507.51,"body":"please remember that we do not"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1507.51,"endTime":1509.67,"body":"represent the Church of Jesus"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1507.51,"endTime":1509.67,"body":"Christ of Latter-day Saints or"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1509.67,"endTime":1512.28,"body":"Brigham Young University. We are"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1509.67,"endTime":1512.28,"body":"not trying to be prescriptive or"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1512.28,"endTime":1513.93,"body":"tell anyone what to think or"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1512.28,"endTime":1513.93,"body":"what to do."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1514.62,"endTime":1516.33,"body":"You heard three"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1514.62,"endTime":1516.33,"body":"perspectives and there are many,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1516.33,"endTime":1519.24,"body":"many more. We encourage you to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1516.33,"endTime":1519.24,"body":"listen to other voices in here a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1519.24,"endTime":1522.06,"body":"wide variety of experiences. If"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1519.24,"endTime":1522.06,"body":"you would like to submit a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1522.06,"endTime":1525.12,"body":"question or share a comment"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1522.06,"endTime":1525.12,"body":"about today's episode, you can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1525.12,"endTime":1527.55,"body":"email us at"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1525.12,"endTime":1527.55,"body":"questionsfromthecloset@gmail.com."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1528.39,"endTime":1529.2,"body":"Until next time."}]}