{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":4.08,"endTime":6.45,"body":"Welcome to Questions from"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":4.08,"endTime":6.45,"body":"the Closet. I'm Ben Schilaty."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":6.69,"endTime":9.09,"body":"And I'm Charlie Bird."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":6.69,"endTime":9.09,"body":"Each episode we discuss a"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":9.09,"endTime":11.61,"body":"question that we commonly get"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":9.09,"endTime":11.61,"body":"asked as LGBTQ Latter-day"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":11.61,"endTime":12.09,"body":"Saints."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":12.21,"endTime":14.22,"body":"We're not trying to answer"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":12.21,"endTime":14.22,"body":"this question or come to"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":14.22,"endTime":17.01,"body":"consensus but simply sharing our"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":14.22,"endTime":17.01,"body":"perspectives. Today's question"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":17.01,"endTime":18.84,"body":"is, what is asexuality?"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":19.23,"endTime":21.18,"body":"Ben and I are not"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":19.23,"endTime":21.18,"body":"terribly diverse and we share"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":21.18,"endTime":23.73,"body":"many opinions and life"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":21.18,"endTime":23.73,"body":"experiences. For example, we are"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":23.73,"endTime":24.81,"body":"both night owls."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":25.14,"endTime":27.06,"body":"However, there are some"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":25.14,"endTime":27.06,"body":"pretty big differences. For"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":27.06,"endTime":30.06,"body":"example, I can keep a schedule"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":27.06,"endTime":30.06,"body":"pretty well and Charlie can't."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":30.3,"endTime":33.69,"body":"I am horrible at going"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":30.3,"endTime":33.69,"body":"to bed I stay up like all night,"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":33.87,"endTime":36.03,"body":"and then sleep in or if I have"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":33.87,"endTime":36.03,"body":"to get up early and take a nap."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":36.03,"endTime":36.87,"body":"I'm all over the place."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":36.87,"endTime":39.36,"body":"Well, you like stay up"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":36.87,"endTime":39.36,"body":"until like six in the morning"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":39.42,"endTime":41.34,"body":"and then go to bed at like nine"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":39.42,"endTime":41.34,"body":"The next night."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":41.49,"endTime":42.96,"body":"Yeah, it's bad."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":43.02,"endTime":46.71,"body":"Where I'm like, if I don't"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":43.02,"endTime":46.71,"body":"have work, my goal is like to"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":46.71,"endTime":48.12,"body":"get to bed by one every day."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":48.24,"endTime":50.88,"body":"I'm not very"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":48.24,"endTime":50.88,"body":"regimented. I used to be I'm not"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":50.88,"endTime":54.57,"body":"anymore. I like to have fun. So"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":50.88,"endTime":54.57,"body":"like I'm doing something fun."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":54.57,"endTime":57.75,"body":"I'm just stay up all night. Or"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":54.57,"endTime":57.75,"body":"like, look at memes until four."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":57.78,"endTime":59.82,"body":"We'll see I used to do that"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":57.78,"endTime":59.82,"body":"I just can't sleep in anymore."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":60.03,"endTime":62.31,"body":"So I need to go to bed."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":60.03,"endTime":62.31,"body":"Otherwise I'll never get up."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":62.31,"endTime":64.56,"body":"I don't have a job"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":62.31,"endTime":64.56,"body":"right now and everything's"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":64.56,"endTime":65.13,"body":"online."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":66.03,"endTime":69.12,"body":"Yes, when I do have a job,"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":66.03,"endTime":69.12,"body":"I try and go to bed before 11."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":70.62,"endTime":72.18,"body":"We like to provide a"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":70.62,"endTime":72.18,"body":"variety of voices and"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":72.18,"endTime":74.46,"body":"perspectives. So today we're"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":72.18,"endTime":74.46,"body":"joined by Tearza Foyston."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":74.79,"endTime":75.21,"body":"Hi."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":75.45,"endTime":76.8,"body":"Tell us a little bit about"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":75.45,"endTime":76.8,"body":"yourself."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":76.89,"endTime":80.37,"body":"So I am 25 years old,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":76.89,"endTime":80.37,"body":"long-standing member of the"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":80.37,"endTime":84.42,"body":"church is lifelong member of the"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":80.37,"endTime":84.42,"body":"church. I work professionally as"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":84.42,"endTime":87.0,"body":"a performer. I've worked"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":84.42,"endTime":87.0,"body":"overseas in Japan at Universal"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":87.0,"endTime":90.57,"body":"Studios. I've worked in Disney"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":87.0,"endTime":90.57,"body":"World in Florida and I currently"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":90.57,"endTime":92.4,"body":"work at Evermore Park in"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":90.57,"endTime":92.4,"body":"Pleasant Grove."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":92.58,"endTime":94.41,"body":"Wow. So what kind of"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":92.58,"endTime":94.41,"body":"performance did you do with"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":94.41,"endTime":95.07,"body":"those parks?"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":95.4,"endTime":97.68,"body":"So at Disney, I worked"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":95.4,"endTime":97.68,"body":"at the Jungle Cruise. So I was"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":97.68,"endTime":100.83,"body":"basically a stand up comedian"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":97.68,"endTime":100.83,"body":"all day about plastic animals"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":100.83,"endTime":103.29,"body":"telling puns about plastic"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":100.83,"endTime":103.29,"body":"animals and then at Universal"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":103.29,"endTime":105.66,"body":"Studios. I worked as a singer in"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":103.29,"endTime":105.66,"body":"the Wizarding World of Harry"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":105.66,"endTime":107.43,"body":"Potter. And then at Evermore..."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":107.43,"endTime":108.39,"body":"Are you kidding me."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":108.54,"endTime":109.92,"body":"I'm so serious right"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":108.54,"endTime":109.92,"body":"now."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":109.95,"endTime":110.73,"body":"What did you sing?"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":111.29,"endTime":112.55,"body":"Harry Potter songs? I"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":111.29,"endTime":112.55,"body":"don't know."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":113.21,"endTime":113.78,"body":"Oh, yeah."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":113.81,"endTime":115.79,"body":"Did you like hold pumpkins"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":113.81,"endTime":115.79,"body":"while you're saying?"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":115.79,"endTime":116.9,"body":"We held frogs."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":116.96,"endTime":118.13,"body":"Oh, that's what they hold."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":118.16,"endTime":120.77,"body":"The frog choir. Yeah. So"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":118.16,"endTime":120.77,"body":"I was I was in the frog choir."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":121.1,"endTime":121.76,"body":"That's cool."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":121.94,"endTime":125.51,"body":"It was I mean, it was"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":121.94,"endTime":125.51,"body":"definitely one of the most wild"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":125.51,"endTime":129.41,"body":"experiences of my life. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":125.51,"endTime":129.41,"body":"Because it was like you are part"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":129.41,"endTime":131.57,"body":"of the wizarding world which is"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":129.41,"endTime":131.57,"body":"in England, but I was also"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":131.57,"endTime":134.42,"body":"overseas in Japan. So like, half"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":131.57,"endTime":134.42,"body":"of it was Japanese and half of"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":134.42,"endTime":137.09,"body":"it was English, but like British"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":134.42,"endTime":137.09,"body":"English, and then like, I'm"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":137.09,"endTime":140.27,"body":"American, obviously. So it was"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":137.09,"endTime":140.27,"body":"like a lot of identity confusion"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":140.27,"endTime":142.49,"body":"going on there. Right? Yeah, it"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":140.27,"endTime":142.49,"body":"was super good."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":142.72,"endTime":145.06,"body":"Well, my dream job is to"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":142.72,"endTime":145.06,"body":"work as a Skipper on the Jungle"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":145.06,"endTime":146.2,"body":"Cruise so I'm very jealous of"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":145.06,"endTime":146.2,"body":"you."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":146.26,"endTime":148.87,"body":"It is, I think that"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":146.26,"endTime":148.87,"body":"everybody should be a Skipper at"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":148.87,"endTime":151.9,"body":"some point in their life. Just"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":148.87,"endTime":151.9,"body":"because you learn so much about"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":152.2,"endTime":154.57,"body":"the whole world, you would you"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":152.2,"endTime":154.57,"body":"wouldn't think that you would"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":154.57,"endTime":158.92,"body":"because it's it's such a small"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":154.57,"endTime":158.92,"body":"facet of the world. But you see"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":158.92,"endTime":161.92,"body":"all kinds of things and learn"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":158.92,"endTime":161.92,"body":"all kinds of things. It is"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":161.92,"endTime":162.28,"body":"great."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":162.31,"endTime":164.11,"body":"Do you get to make up your"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":162.31,"endTime":164.11,"body":"own jokes, or is there like a"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":164.11,"endTime":164.59,"body":"script?"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":164.63,"endTime":167.33,"body":"Um, so the first day"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":164.63,"endTime":167.33,"body":"that I got there, they handed me"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":167.33,"endTime":169.4,"body":"a 90 page script. And they were"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":167.33,"endTime":169.4,"body":"like, you have five days to"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":169.4,"endTime":170.36,"body":"learn this. And that was..."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":170.36,"endTime":170.9,"body":"90 pages?!?"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":170.857,"endTime":173.257,"body":"90 pages, 90 pages. They"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":170.857,"endTime":173.257,"body":"were like, you don't have to"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":173.257,"endTime":176.437,"body":"learn every single joke in here."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":173.257,"endTime":176.437,"body":"But we do have sort of this"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":176.437,"endTime":179.137,"body":"script that you have to follow."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":176.437,"endTime":179.137,"body":"But like, once you've started"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":179.137,"endTime":181.297,"body":"working there for a couple of"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":179.137,"endTime":181.297,"body":"months, like you start to"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":181.297,"endTime":184.867,"body":"deviate a little bit you're not"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":181.297,"endTime":184.867,"body":"supposed to do but people do. So"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":185.017,"endTime":186.937,"body":"there is a script, you're"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":185.017,"endTime":186.937,"body":"supposed to stick to the script,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":186.937,"endTime":190.897,"body":"but most skippers have their own"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":186.937,"endTime":190.897,"body":"personal touch to it as well."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":190.957,"endTime":191.767,"body":"Nice."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":191.6,"endTime":193.43,"body":"Ben, do you really"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":191.6,"endTime":193.43,"body":"think you're funny enough to do"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":193.43,"endTime":193.73,"body":"that?"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":194.26,"endTime":199.18,"body":"To memorize the script?"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":194.26,"endTime":199.18,"body":"Yes. Yes, I do. But we're here"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":199.18,"endTime":200.86,"body":"to talk about asexuality."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":200.92,"endTime":201.28,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":201.31,"endTime":204.19,"body":"So tell us what your"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":201.31,"endTime":204.19,"body":"experience is with asexuality?"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":204.27,"endTime":207.96,"body":"Sure, so I am asexual,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":204.27,"endTime":207.96,"body":"though that's what I sort of"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":208.14,"endTime":211.98,"body":"classify myself as right now as"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":208.14,"endTime":211.98,"body":"I grow that might change because"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":211.98,"endTime":215.91,"body":"I believe that sexuality is a"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":211.98,"endTime":215.91,"body":"fluid thing. But currently I"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":215.91,"endTime":220.26,"body":"identify as asexual hetero"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":215.91,"endTime":220.26,"body":"romantic. So those are two sort"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":220.26,"endTime":223.14,"body":"of different facets of the"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":220.26,"endTime":223.14,"body":"asexual community, you have the"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":223.26,"endTime":225.78,"body":"sexual and then the romantic"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":223.26,"endTime":225.78,"body":"side. So you have asexual"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":225.78,"endTime":230.61,"body":"aromantic, asexual, homo"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":225.78,"endTime":230.61,"body":"romantic, homosexual, aromantic"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":230.61,"endTime":232.68,"body":"where like I'm sexually"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":230.61,"endTime":232.68,"body":"attracted to this person, but"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":232.68,"endTime":234.9,"body":"not romantically attracted to"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":232.68,"endTime":234.9,"body":"this person, two different"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":235.02,"endTime":238.86,"body":"categories. So I identify as"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":235.02,"endTime":238.86,"body":"asexual hetero romantic, which"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":238.86,"endTime":242.13,"body":"means that I am not sexually"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":238.86,"endTime":242.13,"body":"attracted to people, but"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":242.37,"endTime":244.29,"body":"romantically I am attracted to"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":242.37,"endTime":244.29,"body":"men."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":244.59,"endTime":247.41,"body":"What is that like that? I"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":244.59,"endTime":247.41,"body":"can't even imagine,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":247.5,"endTime":249.9,"body":"Right. So that's, that's"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":247.5,"endTime":249.9,"body":"super fair. And a lot of people"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":249.93,"endTime":254.25,"body":"can't like, in the same vein, I"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":249.93,"endTime":254.25,"body":"can't imagine being sexually"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":254.25,"endTime":256.98,"body":"attracted to people where a lot"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":254.25,"endTime":256.98,"body":"of people can't imagine not"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":256.98,"endTime":259.35,"body":"being sexually attracted to"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":256.98,"endTime":259.35,"body":"people. So like, I can"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":259.35,"endTime":262.53,"body":"confidently say that never once"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":259.35,"endTime":262.53,"body":"in my life have I looked at a"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":262.53,"endTime":266.25,"body":"person and been like, I want to"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":262.53,"endTime":266.25,"body":"have sex with that person. Never"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":266.25,"endTime":269.25,"body":"ever, ever. This includes people"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":266.25,"endTime":269.25,"body":"that I've dated. This includes"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":269.25,"endTime":272.82,"body":"like celebrities, like your"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":269.25,"endTime":272.82,"body":"celebrity crush, like, what I"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":272.82,"endTime":275.43,"body":"want to do with my celebrity"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":272.82,"endTime":275.43,"body":"crush is like, sit down and have"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":275.43,"endTime":278.58,"body":"a nice meal. And like, maybe hug"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":275.43,"endTime":278.58,"body":"at the end."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":279.66,"endTime":281.4,"body":"Like that sounds lovely and"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":279.66,"endTime":281.4,"body":"so pure,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":281.36,"endTime":286.1,"body":"Right? Isn't it? Just,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":281.36,"endTime":286.1,"body":"I, listen, I think I think that"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":286.7,"endTime":289.64,"body":"being asexual sort of allows us"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":286.7,"endTime":289.64,"body":"to look at different facets of"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":289.64,"endTime":292.37,"body":"relationships that a lot of"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":289.64,"endTime":292.37,"body":"people don't put a lot of stock"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":292.37,"endTime":295.61,"body":"into because the world is so"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":292.37,"endTime":295.61,"body":"sexual and so sexually driven"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":295.61,"endTime":298.37,"body":"that they that that is like the"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":295.61,"endTime":298.37,"body":"number one priority in a lot of"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":298.37,"endTime":301.34,"body":"relationships whereas in the"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":298.37,"endTime":301.34,"body":"asexual community, you can kind"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":301.34,"endTime":305.51,"body":"of focus on other different"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":301.34,"endTime":305.51,"body":"aspects that are, in my opinion,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":305.51,"endTime":308.99,"body":"more important than sexual. But"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":305.51,"endTime":308.99,"body":"I mean, again, I'm speaking from"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":309.23,"endTime":311.18,"body":"my own non sexual experience."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":311.69,"endTime":313.64,"body":"Yeah, well, I was"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":311.69,"endTime":313.64,"body":"actually gonna ask that because"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":313.73,"endTime":316.49,"body":"I was, I was wondering if it was"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":313.73,"endTime":316.49,"body":"easier to figure out your"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":316.49,"endTime":320.18,"body":"identity, because in our current"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":316.49,"endTime":320.18,"body":"culture, everything seems to be"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":320.18,"endTime":321.23,"body":"hyper sexualized."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":321.03,"endTime":325.08,"body":"100%. Um, it actually"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":321.03,"endTime":325.08,"body":"wasn't. So I didn't know that I"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":325.08,"endTime":328.95,"body":"was asexual until I was maybe"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":325.08,"endTime":328.95,"body":"like, 22 years old. And I'm 25"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":328.95,"endTime":334.26,"body":"now, so fairly new to, to this"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":328.95,"endTime":334.26,"body":"sort of corner of the LGBT"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":334.29,"endTime":338.25,"body":"community. The problem that I"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":334.29,"endTime":338.25,"body":"found is that the language just"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":338.25,"endTime":343.05,"body":"doesn't exist, right? Like for,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":338.25,"endTime":343.05,"body":"for other LGBTQ teens, like,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":343.17,"endTime":345.36,"body":"everybody knows what gay is,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":343.17,"endTime":345.36,"body":"everybody knows what being"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":345.36,"endTime":348.69,"body":"lesbian is. Everybody knows what"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":345.36,"endTime":348.69,"body":"bisexual is. But asexuality is"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":348.69,"endTime":351.63,"body":"often left out of the"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":348.69,"endTime":351.63,"body":"conversation. And so I just sort"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":351.63,"endTime":356.13,"body":"of like, went through my teen"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":351.63,"endTime":356.13,"body":"years, just sort of waiting to"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":356.22,"endTime":359.19,"body":"get this like, urge that"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":356.22,"endTime":359.19,"body":"everybody else seemed to be"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":359.19,"endTime":362.85,"body":"having that I was not, right?"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":359.19,"endTime":362.85,"body":"And so my parents would be like,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":362.85,"endTime":365.19,"body":"oh, you're just a late bloomer."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":362.85,"endTime":365.19,"body":"My friends were like, oh, like,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":365.34,"endTime":367.5,"body":"it'll happen, like, you'll meet"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":365.34,"endTime":367.5,"body":"the right person. And you'll"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":367.5,"endTime":370.77,"body":"feel some type some type of way,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":367.5,"endTime":370.77,"body":"you know, whatever. And, and it"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":370.77,"endTime":373.26,"body":"never happened. And so I just"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":370.77,"endTime":373.26,"body":"kind of spent a lot of time like"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":373.26,"endTime":375.78,"body":"waiting and waiting and waiting"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":373.26,"endTime":375.78,"body":"for this thing to happen. And it"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":375.78,"endTime":379.38,"body":"never did. And I didn't really"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":375.78,"endTime":379.38,"body":"understand like, what it was"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":379.38,"endTime":383.4,"body":"that I was waiting for, first of"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":379.38,"endTime":383.4,"body":"all, and also, like, just sort"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":383.4,"endTime":386.55,"body":"of feeling like, am I broken?"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":383.4,"endTime":386.55,"body":"Like, is there something wrong?"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":386.55,"endTime":389.1,"body":"Do I need to go see a doctor"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":386.55,"endTime":389.1,"body":"about this? Like, it's like, Is"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":389.1,"endTime":392.67,"body":"there something hormonally off"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":389.1,"endTime":392.67,"body":"that I'm just like, not getting"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":392.7,"endTime":395.19,"body":"that everybody else seems to be"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":392.7,"endTime":395.19,"body":"getting, but then on the flip"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":395.19,"endTime":399.12,"body":"side of it being like, everybody"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":395.19,"endTime":399.12,"body":"else is lying. Right? Like, it's"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":399.12,"endTime":402.18,"body":"like, they can't be feeling this"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":399.12,"endTime":402.18,"body":"way. Because I don't feel this"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":402.18,"endTime":404.91,"body":"way. So I feel like everybody"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":402.18,"endTime":404.91,"body":"else is just sort of tricking me"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":404.91,"endTime":408.54,"body":"like they're all in on this joke"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":404.91,"endTime":408.54,"body":"that I'm not a part of. So just"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":408.54,"endTime":412.44,"body":"sort of feeling like, ostracized"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":408.54,"endTime":412.44,"body":"in that in that way. But when I"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":412.44,"endTime":415.71,"body":"found out what asexuality was"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":412.44,"endTime":415.71,"body":"through my friend, Michaela, who"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":415.71,"endTime":418.11,"body":"was also asexual, and I was kind"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":415.71,"endTime":418.11,"body":"of talking to her about like,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":418.44,"endTime":421.65,"body":"man, I'm 22. And I just like,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":418.44,"endTime":421.65,"body":"don't I don't, I just don't get"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":421.65,"endTime":423.39,"body":"it, man. Like, it's it's"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":421.65,"endTime":423.39,"body":"supposed to happen. It's not"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":423.39,"endTime":425.52,"body":"happening. She's like, well,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":423.39,"endTime":425.52,"body":"have you heard of asexuality? I"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":425.52,"endTime":430.02,"body":"was like, no, what, what is"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":425.52,"endTime":430.02,"body":"that, like? Well, it's pretty"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":430.02,"endTime":432.12,"body":"much exactly what you just"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":430.02,"endTime":432.12,"body":"explained. And so then through"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":432.12,"endTime":436.26,"body":"research and things like that,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":432.12,"endTime":436.26,"body":"I'm like, oh, this, this is it,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":436.26,"endTime":439.65,"body":"you know. And so I think just"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":436.26,"endTime":439.65,"body":"making sure that people have"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":439.65,"endTime":443.49,"body":"access to that type of language"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":439.65,"endTime":443.49,"body":"is so important, because it will"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":443.52,"endTime":445.98,"body":"prevent kids from feeling the"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":443.52,"endTime":445.98,"body":"way that I did like feeling so"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":445.98,"endTime":449.85,"body":"ostracized from from reality,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":445.98,"endTime":449.85,"body":"right? Because the world is so"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":449.85,"endTime":452.19,"body":"hyper sexualized, like,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":449.85,"endTime":452.19,"body":"everything is sexual, like"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":452.25,"endTime":455.55,"body":"commercials, TV, music,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":452.25,"endTime":455.55,"body":"everything is like,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":455.85,"endTime":459.69,"body":"overwhelmingly sexual. And so"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":455.85,"endTime":459.69,"body":"when you are not feeling that"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":459.69,"endTime":462.51,"body":"way, it feels very, like almost"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":459.69,"endTime":462.51,"body":"like this, like shadow is like"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":462.51,"endTime":464.4,"body":"coming down on you. And you're"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":462.51,"endTime":464.4,"body":"like, what is happening? Like,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":464.4,"endTime":467.91,"body":"why, like, and I don't, I don't"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":464.4,"endTime":467.91,"body":"get it. I don't belong. And so"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":467.91,"endTime":470.52,"body":"yeah, I just think it's super"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":467.91,"endTime":470.52,"body":"important to make sure that that"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":470.52,"endTime":474.0,"body":"language exists for people to"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":470.52,"endTime":474.0,"body":"have access to."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":474.3,"endTime":476.61,"body":"Yeah, so finding that"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":474.3,"endTime":476.61,"body":"label helps you feel more"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":476.64,"endTime":477.81,"body":"validated and human."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":477.84,"endTime":481.02,"body":"Yeah, it helped me feel"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":477.84,"endTime":481.02,"body":"like I wasn't like the I wasn't"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":481.02,"endTime":485.13,"body":"broken. Because I think broken"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":481.02,"endTime":485.13,"body":"was sort of the the main feeling"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":485.13,"endTime":487.65,"body":"that I felt because everybody"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":485.13,"endTime":487.65,"body":"else seems to like have it all"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":487.65,"endTime":490.2,"body":"together and like, seems to be"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":487.65,"endTime":490.2,"body":"able to and even if their"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":490.2,"endTime":493.29,"body":"relationships and things weren't"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":490.2,"endTime":493.29,"body":"working out, like they got them,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":493.32,"endTime":496.08,"body":"you know, and I and I dated, and"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":493.32,"endTime":496.08,"body":"I did all these things, but"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":496.11,"endTime":499.92,"body":"like, I never really wanted to,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":496.11,"endTime":499.92,"body":"I felt more like pressured into"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":499.92,"endTime":502.5,"body":"doing because everybody else was"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":499.92,"endTime":502.5,"body":"doing it. It was like, this is"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":502.53,"endTime":505.56,"body":"the societal norm so you have to"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":502.53,"endTime":505.56,"body":"do this too. Right?"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":506.19,"endTime":507.75,"body":"As you're talking, I was"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":506.19,"endTime":507.75,"body":"thinking, you know, who are the"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":507.75,"endTime":511.65,"body":"asexual role models? Like I"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":507.75,"endTime":511.65,"body":"mean, where are the asexual"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":511.65,"endTime":513.45,"body":"characters in TV, I can't even"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":511.65,"endTime":513.45,"body":"name one."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":513.42,"endTime":516.57,"body":"There are not a lot."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":513.42,"endTime":516.57,"body":"There's a lot that we have sort"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":516.57,"endTime":520.38,"body":"of adapted or like adopted into"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":516.57,"endTime":520.38,"body":"the community, but like, there's"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":520.38,"endTime":523.65,"body":"not a lot that are like"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":520.38,"endTime":523.65,"body":"explicitly, like said by the"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":523.65,"endTime":526.23,"body":"creators like this is an asexual"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":523.65,"endTime":526.23,"body":"character. One that I can think"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":526.23,"endTime":529.89,"body":"of is Todd Chavez from Bojack."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":526.23,"endTime":529.89,"body":"Horseman. I don't know if you"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":529.89,"endTime":533.85,"body":"watch our show, I don't. But he"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":529.89,"endTime":533.85,"body":"has been explicitly stated that"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":533.85,"endTime":537.03,"body":"he is an asexual character."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":533.85,"endTime":537.03,"body":"Another one that we've adopted"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":537.03,"endTime":540.24,"body":"is Charlie Weasley from the"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":537.03,"endTime":540.24,"body":"Harry Potter series, who is"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":540.24,"endTime":543.93,"body":"like, never once seen dating or"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":540.24,"endTime":543.93,"body":"like being interested in people."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":543.93,"endTime":546.81,"body":"He's like, I have my dragons."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":543.93,"endTime":546.81,"body":"And that's what I have. And I"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":546.81,"endTime":550.14,"body":"love that and that's my thing."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":546.81,"endTime":550.14,"body":"Another one is like Merda from"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":550.14,"endTime":553.74,"body":"Brave, she's like, I don't want"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":550.14,"endTime":553.74,"body":"any of these guys. I'm gonna be"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":553.77,"endTime":556.11,"body":"you know, my own princess. I'm"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":553.77,"endTime":556.11,"body":"gonna do my own thing. I don't"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":556.11,"endTime":558.84,"body":"want a relationship. I don't"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":556.11,"endTime":558.84,"body":"need this. So there's a few, but"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":558.84,"endTime":561.12,"body":"definitely not, not many."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":561.51,"endTime":563.25,"body":"Well, you can add Ammon"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":561.51,"endTime":563.25,"body":"from the Book of Mormon. He's"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":563.25,"endTime":564.45,"body":"like, No, I don't want to buy"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":563.25,"endTime":564.45,"body":"the princess."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":564.45,"endTime":566.01,"body":"Yeah. Ammon from the"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":564.45,"endTime":566.01,"body":"Book of Mormon, he's a good one."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":566.01,"endTime":568.53,"body":"I've already decided"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":566.01,"endTime":568.53,"body":"that he's gay, so..."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":568.56,"endTime":570.0,"body":"I kind of like him more as"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":568.56,"endTime":570.0,"body":"an asexual."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":570.03,"endTime":570.9,"body":"Okay, that's fine."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":571.47,"endTime":572.4,"body":"We have enough."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":572.63,"endTime":575.9,"body":"We do have enough. No,"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":572.63,"endTime":575.9,"body":"no, we don't have enough. We"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":575.9,"endTime":578.3,"body":"need more. But they also need"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":575.9,"endTime":578.3,"body":"more."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":579.41,"endTime":581.3,"body":"There needs more on both"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":579.41,"endTime":581.3,"body":"sides. Right?"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":581.34,"endTime":583.17,"body":"Well, it's hard when"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":581.34,"endTime":583.17,"body":"you're trying to find somebody"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":583.17,"endTime":586.71,"body":"like you and like representation"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":583.17,"endTime":586.71,"body":"in like almost a validation that"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":586.74,"endTime":590.4,"body":"that you that your existence is"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":586.74,"endTime":590.4,"body":"like meaningful and worthwhile."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":590.4,"endTime":593.85,"body":"And, and so I'm glad that there"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":590.4,"endTime":593.85,"body":"is at least something but it"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":593.85,"endTime":595.11,"body":"sounds like there needs to be a"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":593.85,"endTime":595.11,"body":"lot more."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":595.0,"endTime":598.57,"body":"Yeah, absolutely. I"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":595.0,"endTime":598.57,"body":"think I definitely want to be"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":598.57,"endTime":601.63,"body":"sort of an advocate for more of"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":598.57,"endTime":601.63,"body":"these characters used in"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":601.63,"endTime":604.9,"body":"mainstream media more of this"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":601.63,"endTime":604.9,"body":"language being available to the"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":604.9,"endTime":606.19,"body":"mainstream public like well..."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":606.19,"endTime":607.66,"body":"Even like your friend"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":606.19,"endTime":607.66,"body":"Michaela was that her name?"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":607.66,"endTime":607.96,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":607.99,"endTime":610.69,"body":"Who was able to teach"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":607.99,"endTime":610.69,"body":"you about it and give you a word"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":610.69,"endTime":612.49,"body":"that you've been looking for,"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":610.69,"endTime":612.49,"body":"but had never had?"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":612.52,"endTime":612.91,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":613.18,"endTime":615.22,"body":"I noticed something you"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":613.18,"endTime":615.22,"body":"said and I don't know if this"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":615.22,"endTime":618.49,"body":"was controversial or whatever."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":615.22,"endTime":618.49,"body":"But you said that you're, you're"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":618.52,"endTime":621.28,"body":"asexual, hetero romantic. And"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":618.52,"endTime":621.28,"body":"I'm assuming that you're cis"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":621.28,"endTime":625.45,"body":"gender, right, you identify with"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":621.28,"endTime":625.45,"body":"your sex assigned at birth. And"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":625.45,"endTime":629.17,"body":"so it's just interesting to me"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":625.45,"endTime":629.17,"body":"to like, be part of the LGBTQ"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":629.17,"endTime":632.86,"body":"community, but also technically"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":629.17,"endTime":632.86,"body":"be cis gender and straight."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":632.82,"endTime":636.69,"body":"Yes, be 100% straight"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":632.82,"endTime":636.69,"body":"passing because I am technically"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":636.69,"endTime":640.77,"body":"straight. But I think i think"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":636.69,"endTime":640.77,"body":"that i and I got this this"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":640.77,"endTime":644.34,"body":"question once, when I was doing"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":640.77,"endTime":644.34,"body":"one of my Q\u0026As on Instagram, but"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":644.82,"endTime":649.29,"body":"somebody was like, how does a"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":644.82,"endTime":649.29,"body":"hetero romantic white male like"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":649.29,"endTime":652.5,"body":"cis male who identifies as"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":649.29,"endTime":652.5,"body":"asexual? How does he have a"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":652.5,"endTime":657.27,"body":"corner in the asexual community?"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":652.5,"endTime":657.27,"body":"Or in the LGBTQ community, queer"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":657.27,"endTime":660.21,"body":"community? How does he fit in?"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":657.27,"endTime":660.21,"body":"How is that fair to the rest of"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":660.39,"endTime":663.78,"body":"the people who are struggling so"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":660.39,"endTime":663.78,"body":"much more than he apparently is"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":663.78,"endTime":667.02,"body":"struggling? And I think that"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":663.78,"endTime":667.02,"body":"this the struggle is more"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":667.05,"endTime":671.04,"body":"internal than external, which is"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":667.05,"endTime":671.04,"body":"privileged in and of itself, I"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":671.04,"endTime":675.0,"body":"am very privileged within the"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":671.04,"endTime":675.0,"body":"queer community to have the sort"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":675.0,"endTime":679.74,"body":"of identity that I have. And I"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":675.0,"endTime":679.74,"body":"recognize that I recognize that"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":679.74,"endTime":683.64,"body":"in in all sense of the word that"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":679.74,"endTime":683.64,"body":"I have a relationship that the"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":683.67,"endTime":688.56,"body":"world would view as, you know,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":683.67,"endTime":688.56,"body":"normal, right. But be in being a"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":688.56,"endTime":693.66,"body":"sexual it is more of an internal"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":688.56,"endTime":693.66,"body":"struggle of I am different than"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":693.66,"endTime":697.5,"body":"everyone else. And I'm and I"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":693.66,"endTime":697.5,"body":"don't know why or how, right"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":697.5,"endTime":700.92,"body":"like it's, it's being queer is"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":697.5,"endTime":700.92,"body":"inherently being different than"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":697.79,"endTime":716.57,"body":"It's not I think you're"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":697.79,"endTime":716.57,"body":"making a really important point."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":700.95,"endTime":707.82,"body":"the accepted norm. Right? So I"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":700.95,"endTime":707.82,"body":"think, inherently, that gives us"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":707.82,"endTime":711.24,"body":"our corner of the community"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":707.82,"endTime":711.24,"body":"because we are not the same."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":711.42,"endTime":713.79,"body":"Just, it's difficult. It's,"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":716.57,"endTime":719.18,"body":"In fact, a couple years ago, I"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":716.57,"endTime":719.18,"body":"was I was starting to get like,"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":719.6,"endTime":723.26,"body":"I don't know if bugged is the"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":719.6,"endTime":723.26,"body":"right word. But like, I was"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":723.26,"endTime":725.6,"body":"like, why are these all just"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":723.26,"endTime":725.6,"body":"thrown together? Right? And we"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":725.6,"endTime":729.02,"body":"have like, LGBTQIA plus, and I'm"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":725.6,"endTime":729.02,"body":"like, why did they throw us all"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":729.02,"endTime":732.65,"body":"together? Because being gay is"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":729.02,"endTime":732.65,"body":"very different for being trans."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":732.65,"endTime":735.77,"body":"And it's very different from"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":732.65,"endTime":735.77,"body":"being asexual. And so why did"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":735.77,"endTime":740.57,"body":"they all just like get tossed"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":735.77,"endTime":740.57,"body":"into one bucket? And the more I"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":740.57,"endTime":742.94,"body":"thought about it, I was like,"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":740.57,"endTime":742.94,"body":"oh, yeah, it's because we've all"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":742.94,"endTime":746.15,"body":"been affected by societal norms,"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":742.94,"endTime":746.15,"body":"and looked down upon or"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":746.15,"endTime":749.42,"body":"ostracized on the basis of"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":746.15,"endTime":749.42,"body":"orientation, or gender or"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":749.42,"endTime":749.96,"body":"identity."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":749.99,"endTime":750.23,"body":"Yep."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":750.26,"endTime":752.81,"body":"And so even if these"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":750.26,"endTime":752.81,"body":"experiences are different, it's"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":752.81,"endTime":755.09,"body":"almost like we need to be there"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":752.81,"endTime":755.09,"body":"for each other because to some"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":755.09,"endTime":758.33,"body":"extent, we understand what it's"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":755.09,"endTime":758.33,"body":"like, because of sexual"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":758.33,"endTime":762.89,"body":"orientation, or gender being"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":758.33,"endTime":762.89,"body":"underrepresented and feeling"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":762.95,"endTime":767.45,"body":"broken, or, or lost or isolated."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":762.95,"endTime":767.45,"body":"And so I, as I was thinking"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":767.45,"endTime":771.14,"body":"about it, it kind of made me"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":767.45,"endTime":771.14,"body":"shift in the way I viewed all of"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":771.14,"endTime":774.29,"body":"those letters that sometimes"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":771.14,"endTime":774.29,"body":"people complain about is way too"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":774.29,"endTime":777.56,"body":"long. I'm like, No, why would we"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":774.29,"endTime":777.56,"body":"not have more people having a"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":777.56,"endTime":779.33,"body":"place where they can at least"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":777.56,"endTime":779.33,"body":"find somebody like them?"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":779.36,"endTime":779.66,"body":"Yep."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":780.14,"endTime":782.3,"body":"And as you were talking, I"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":780.14,"endTime":782.3,"body":"was thinking, you know, you were"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":782.3,"endTime":785.36,"body":"saying, this common experience"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":782.3,"endTime":785.36,"body":"that we've had of feeling broken"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":785.36,"endTime":787.43,"body":"at some point. I mean, you might"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":785.36,"endTime":787.43,"body":"not have faced, like, the"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":787.43,"endTime":791.66,"body":"external judgement of people,"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":787.43,"endTime":791.66,"body":"but but you know, it's like to"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":791.66,"endTime":793.4,"body":"feel to feel broken. Like"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":791.66,"endTime":793.4,"body":"there's something that's not"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":793.4,"endTime":794.21,"body":"working inside of you."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":794.249,"endTime":795.089,"body":"Yeah, absolutely."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":795.0,"endTime":797.4,"body":"Yeah. Tell us more about"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":795.0,"endTime":797.4,"body":"that. Because the idea of like,"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":797.64,"endTime":800.4,"body":"not feeling sexual attraction,"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":797.64,"endTime":800.4,"body":"feeling broken because of that,"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":800.4,"endTime":804.33,"body":"like, if I was like an LDS teen,"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":800.4,"endTime":804.33,"body":"I'd be like, yay, I'm so"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":804.33,"endTime":804.87,"body":"righteous."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":804.9,"endTime":806.82,"body":"Right? Well, it's funny"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":804.9,"endTime":806.82,"body":"that you say that, because that"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":806.82,"endTime":810.24,"body":"is exactly how I felt as as a"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":806.82,"endTime":810.24,"body":"teen in the church, like,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":810.24,"endTime":812.25,"body":"whenever we would have, you"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":810.24,"endTime":812.25,"body":"know, the law of chastity"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":812.43,"endTime":815.13,"body":"lessons, like every six months,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":812.43,"endTime":815.13,"body":"right? Like, it was just, I"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":815.13,"endTime":817.29,"body":"would kind of sit there and be"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":815.13,"endTime":817.29,"body":"like, okay, do we really need to"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":817.29,"endTime":819.99,"body":"have this lesson again? Like,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":817.29,"endTime":819.99,"body":"like, we get it don't have sex?"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":819.99,"endTime":824.16,"body":"Like, is it really so hard to,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":819.99,"endTime":824.16,"body":"to not do that, you know, and I"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":824.25,"endTime":826.95,"body":"will admit that I definitely"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":824.25,"endTime":826.95,"body":"felt a little bit prideful in"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":826.95,"endTime":830.64,"body":"that, like, I've never been"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":826.95,"endTime":830.64,"body":"tempted to have sex ever in my"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":830.64,"endTime":833.97,"body":"life. Like, I must be so"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":830.64,"endTime":833.97,"body":"righteous. And looking back,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":833.97,"endTime":836.34,"body":"like, it's so ridiculous that I"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":833.97,"endTime":836.34,"body":"thought that but I absolutely"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":836.34,"endTime":836.58,"body":"did."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":836.61,"endTime":837.99,"body":"I don't think it's"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":836.61,"endTime":837.99,"body":"ridiculous. I was thinking"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":837.99,"endTime":840.3,"body":"they're the same thing. They're"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":837.99,"endTime":840.3,"body":"like, if you're alone with a"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":840.3,"endTime":843.21,"body":"woman at night, I'm like, then"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":840.3,"endTime":843.21,"body":"what? We're gonna braid her"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":843.21,"endTime":843.6,"body":"hair."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":843.6,"endTime":848.1,"body":"Right? Yeah. And what"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":843.6,"endTime":848.1,"body":"else? So I absolutely felt like,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":848.64,"endTime":852.66,"body":"in that, in that I sort of sort"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":848.64,"endTime":852.66,"body":"of vein like, I felt not better"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":852.66,"endTime":855.84,"body":"than but like, is this really"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":852.66,"endTime":855.84,"body":"necessary? Like, do we really"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":855.84,"endTime":859.35,"body":"need to be hammering this home?"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":855.84,"endTime":859.35,"body":"Again, like, but now that I'm"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":859.35,"endTime":862.74,"body":"older and realizing that, yeah,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":859.35,"endTime":862.74,"body":"it is important to be hammering"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":862.74,"endTime":865.74,"body":"those things home because other"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":862.74,"endTime":865.74,"body":"people do not have the same"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":865.74,"endTime":869.28,"body":"experience that I have. And we"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":865.74,"endTime":869.28,"body":"need to be more accepting of our"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":869.28,"endTime":870.96,"body":"like, I need to be more"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":869.28,"endTime":870.96,"body":"accepting of other people's"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":870.96,"endTime":874.41,"body":"experiences, like, we do not all"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":870.96,"endTime":874.41,"body":"have identical experiences. And"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":874.41,"endTime":879.48,"body":"so looking back, it's like, oh,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":874.41,"endTime":879.48,"body":"no, like, so embarrassing, but"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":879.48,"endTime":882.72,"body":"like, now I completely"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":879.48,"endTime":882.72,"body":"understand like, why those"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":882.72,"endTime":885.81,"body":"things need to be happening"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":882.72,"endTime":885.81,"body":"because there are very sexual"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":885.81,"endTime":888.54,"body":"people in the world. I am not"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":885.81,"endTime":888.54,"body":"one of them, but they exist."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":888.78,"endTime":890.67,"body":"Yes. So help me understand"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":888.78,"endTime":890.67,"body":"something. So there was a time"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":890.67,"endTime":894.3,"body":"where you were thinking like,"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":890.67,"endTime":894.3,"body":"oh, I'm a good righteous person,"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":894.3,"endTime":897.12,"body":"because I'm not having these law"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":894.3,"endTime":897.12,"body":"of chastity issues like my"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":897.12,"endTime":900.03,"body":"peers. How did that transfer"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":897.12,"endTime":900.03,"body":"into like, you feel like maybe"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":900.03,"endTime":900.93,"body":"something's wrong with me."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":901.05,"endTime":903.96,"body":"So when I got a little"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":901.05,"endTime":903.96,"body":"bit older, you know, into the"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":903.96,"endTime":907.11,"body":"dating age like 16, 17, 18. And"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":903.96,"endTime":907.11,"body":"everyone started dating and"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":907.11,"endTime":909.63,"body":"having these boyfriends and"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":907.11,"endTime":909.63,"body":"doing things I felt sort of left"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":909.63,"endTime":915.03,"body":"behind, because I didn't really"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":909.63,"endTime":915.03,"body":"want to do that. But in trying"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":915.03,"endTime":919.23,"body":"to, I guess, sort of mask what I"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":915.03,"endTime":919.23,"body":"was feeling like, I would go on"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":919.23,"endTime":921.48,"body":"dates like I would, I would"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":919.23,"endTime":921.48,"body":"purposefully like, I'd be like,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":921.48,"endTime":923.49,"body":"I'm gonna go on a date with you,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":921.48,"endTime":923.49,"body":"I'm gonna kiss this boy, I'm"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":923.49,"endTime":926.07,"body":"gonna, I'm gonna prove to people"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":923.49,"endTime":926.07,"body":"that like, I'm a part of the"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":926.07,"endTime":929.46,"body":"gang, but like, I wasn't, you"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":926.07,"endTime":929.46,"body":"know. And so I would, I would be"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":929.46,"endTime":931.23,"body":"doing these things. I'd be"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":929.46,"endTime":931.23,"body":"kissing boys. And like, it was"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":931.23,"endTime":934.05,"body":"fun, but it was like, I didn't"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":931.23,"endTime":934.05,"body":"get it. You know, I was like,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":934.05,"endTime":937.98,"body":"why do why do people do this?"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":934.05,"endTime":937.98,"body":"Why am I doing this? Like it was"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":937.98,"endTime":938.49,"body":"more of like..."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":938.49,"endTime":940.17,"body":"Is was forced."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":940.23,"endTime":942.78,"body":"Well, yeah, like it felt"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":940.23,"endTime":942.78,"body":"very much like I was, I was"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":942.78,"endTime":945.78,"body":"forcing myself into situations"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":942.78,"endTime":945.78,"body":"that I didn't really care to be"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":945.78,"endTime":949.08,"body":"in because everybody else was"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":945.78,"endTime":949.08,"body":"doing it. And so on the one"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":949.08,"endTime":951.78,"body":"hand, I was like, yes, I've"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":949.08,"endTime":951.78,"body":"never experienced these things."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":951.78,"endTime":954.42,"body":"I'm so good. I'm so this blah,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":951.78,"endTime":954.42,"body":"blah, blah. But also, I felt"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":954.9,"endTime":957.87,"body":"left out and left behind."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":954.9,"endTime":957.87,"body":"Because I felt like everybody"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":957.87,"endTime":959.76,"body":"was getting something that I"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":957.87,"endTime":959.76,"body":"wasn't."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":960.33,"endTime":962.01,"body":"Can I ask you to do the"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":960.33,"endTime":962.01,"body":"impossible?"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":962.61,"endTime":963.3,"body":"Sure?"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":963.33,"endTime":965.91,"body":"Can you? Can you"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":963.33,"endTime":965.91,"body":"explain what it's like to be"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":965.91,"endTime":968.49,"body":"romantically attracted to"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":965.91,"endTime":968.49,"body":"someone, but not sexually"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":968.49,"endTime":969.33,"body":"attracted to someone?"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":969.42,"endTime":971.88,"body":"Sure. So to me, the"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":969.42,"endTime":971.88,"body":"difference between sexual"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":971.88,"endTime":974.37,"body":"attraction and romantic"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":971.88,"endTime":974.37,"body":"attraction. Sexual attraction"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":974.37,"endTime":978.72,"body":"means that you want to have sex"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":974.37,"endTime":978.72,"body":"with that person. I don't want"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":978.72,"endTime":981.39,"body":"to have sex with anybody, it"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":978.72,"endTime":981.39,"body":"makes me feel very uncomfortable"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":981.39,"endTime":984.66,"body":"and like kind of sweat a little"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":981.39,"endTime":984.66,"body":"bit. When I think of myself in"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":984.66,"endTime":988.62,"body":"like sexual situations, like, I"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":984.66,"endTime":988.62,"body":"can watch it on TV, I can have"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":988.62,"endTime":990.63,"body":"people talk to me about it, and"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":988.62,"endTime":990.63,"body":"it's totally fine. But the"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":990.63,"endTime":994.68,"body":"moment that I insert myself into"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":990.63,"endTime":994.68,"body":"the narrative, it's like, no,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":994.68,"endTime":997.59,"body":"thank you. Whereas romantically"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":994.68,"endTime":997.59,"body":"you know, you can cuddle people,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":997.59,"endTime":1001.46,"body":"you can hold their hands, you"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":997.59,"endTime":1001.46,"body":"can, you know, be intimate in"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1001.46,"endTime":1005.21,"body":"different ways that are not"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1001.46,"endTime":1005.21,"body":"sexual, right? So the sort of"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1005.21,"endTime":1007.82,"body":"more like, emotional"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1005.21,"endTime":1007.82,"body":"connections, the mental"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1007.82,"endTime":1011.24,"body":"connections that are a part of a"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1007.82,"endTime":1011.24,"body":"relationship as well, sort of"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1011.6,"endTime":1013.91,"body":"taking a relationship and just"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1011.6,"endTime":1013.91,"body":"removing the sex from it. And"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1013.91,"endTime":1015.65,"body":"that's romantic attraction."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1015.72,"endTime":1018.21,"body":"So when you imagine"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1015.72,"endTime":1018.21,"body":"yourself in the future, like,"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1018.21,"endTime":1021.03,"body":"like being married, and like,"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1018.21,"endTime":1021.03,"body":"the idea of having sex isn't"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1021.03,"endTime":1023.55,"body":"something that makes you feel"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1021.03,"endTime":1023.55,"body":"uncomfortable? Or is it like"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1023.61,"endTime":1026.46,"body":"repulsive? Help me understand"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1023.61,"endTime":1026.46,"body":"what that feels like."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1026.51,"endTime":1028.97,"body":"Right. So I would"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1026.51,"endTime":1028.97,"body":"consider myself pretty sex"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1028.97,"endTime":1031.61,"body":"repulsed when it comes to me"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1028.97,"endTime":1031.61,"body":"personally, I don't mind it when"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1031.61,"endTime":1035.72,"body":"other people talk about it. But"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1031.61,"endTime":1035.72,"body":"for myself, personally, I it"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1035.75,"endTime":1039.44,"body":"terrifies me, I don't, I don't"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1035.75,"endTime":1039.44,"body":"like it. I don't want to be"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1039.68,"endTime":1043.85,"body":"anywhere near that sort of"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1039.68,"endTime":1043.85,"body":"thing. So I don't I don't know"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1043.85,"endTime":1046.7,"body":"how else to describe it. Sort"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1043.85,"endTime":1046.7,"body":"of, like makes my skin crawl,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1046.91,"endTime":1049.79,"body":"which is so weird, because it's"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1046.91,"endTime":1049.79,"body":"such a natural like thing. And"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1050.24,"endTime":1053.45,"body":"I'd say, quote, everybody does"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1050.24,"endTime":1053.45,"body":"it, right. Like, it's, it's a"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1053.45,"endTime":1055.61,"body":"natural thing that everybody's"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1053.45,"endTime":1055.61,"body":"supposed to do. But like, I just"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1055.61,"endTime":1061.19,"body":"I cannot I don't I don't know."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1055.61,"endTime":1061.19,"body":"But it's interesting, because I"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1061.19,"endTime":1063.71,"body":"do want to get married someday."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1061.19,"endTime":1063.71,"body":"I do think that that is a goal"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1063.71,"endTime":1067.34,"body":"of mine. But I think that that"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1063.71,"endTime":1067.34,"body":"is a conversation that my"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1067.34,"endTime":1071.18,"body":"husband or my future spouse, and"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1067.34,"endTime":1071.18,"body":"I will have to have, you know,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1071.18,"endTime":1073.61,"body":"sort of like, they will have to"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1071.18,"endTime":1073.61,"body":"have a deep understanding that"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1073.61,"endTime":1076.7,"body":"like, I am not into that. And"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1073.61,"endTime":1076.7,"body":"whereas I will have to also"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1076.7,"endTime":1079.85,"body":"understand that they might be or"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1076.7,"endTime":1079.85,"body":"I might find somebody asexual, I"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1079.85,"endTime":1083.69,"body":"might not, you know, if they"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1079.85,"endTime":1083.69,"body":"are, you know, heterosexual then"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1084.05,"endTime":1085.94,"body":"I will have to come to the"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1084.05,"endTime":1085.94,"body":"understanding that like that is"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1085.94,"endTime":1088.28,"body":"an aspect of the relationship"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1085.94,"endTime":1088.28,"body":"that they need. And they will"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1088.28,"endTime":1091.28,"body":"have to come to the realization"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1088.28,"endTime":1091.28,"body":"that like, that is an aspect of"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1091.28,"endTime":1094.85,"body":"the relationship that really is"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1091.28,"endTime":1094.85,"body":"uncomfortable for me. And sort"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1094.85,"endTime":1097.55,"body":"of that's, I mean, it's going to"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1094.85,"endTime":1097.55,"body":"be a more personal conversation"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1097.55,"endTime":1101.33,"body":"that I have in the future. But"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1097.55,"endTime":1101.33,"body":"I'm not opposed to having that"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1101.33,"endTime":1105.32,"body":"conversation with people, if"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1101.33,"endTime":1105.32,"body":"that makes people with my one."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1105.96,"endTime":1107.28,"body":"With all the people you're"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1105.96,"endTime":1107.28,"body":"engaged to."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1107.0,"endTime":1136.49,"body":"Do you get a lot of"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1107.0,"endTime":1136.49,"body":"people that are like, Well, how"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1107.24,"endTime":1110.566,"body":"With the one. Um, yeah."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1107.24,"endTime":1110.566,"body":"So I'm definitely open. I think"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1110.626,"endTime":1114.315,"body":"now, what now that I'm a little"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1110.626,"endTime":1114.315,"body":"bit older. In the past, I was"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1114.376,"endTime":1118.125,"body":"like, absolutely not. 100% No,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1114.376,"endTime":1118.125,"body":"but now that I think I approach"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1118.186,"endTime":1121.814,"body":"things with a bit more like"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1118.186,"endTime":1121.814,"body":"compassion and understanding and"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1121.875,"endTime":1125.564,"body":"from a more educated standpoint,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1121.875,"endTime":1125.564,"body":"I think that I would be more"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1125.624,"endTime":1129.313,"body":"open to potentially doing that"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1125.624,"endTime":1129.313,"body":"in the future. But like, as it"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1129.374,"endTime":1132.881,"body":"stands, I could go my whole life"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1129.374,"endTime":1132.881,"body":"without having sex and be"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1132.942,"endTime":1133.91,"body":"completely fine."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1136.49,"endTime":1138.05,"body":"do you know if you've never"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1136.49,"endTime":1138.05,"body":"tried?"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1138.14,"endTime":1143.18,"body":"100%. Yep. And to that,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1138.14,"endTime":1143.18,"body":"I say, it's usually as I roll my"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1143.18,"endTime":1146.45,"body":"eyes at this, but it's usually"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1143.18,"endTime":1146.45,"body":"like, guys who were like, oh,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1146.45,"endTime":1148.49,"body":"but like, trying to date me or"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1146.45,"endTime":1148.49,"body":"whatever. I'm"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1148.52,"endTime":1149.75,"body":"Trying to be like"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1148.52,"endTime":1149.75,"body":"Conquistadores."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1149.75,"endTime":1152.51,"body":"Yeah, and I'm like,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1149.75,"endTime":1152.51,"body":"okay, well, how do you know"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1152.51,"endTime":1155.39,"body":"you're straight? If you've never"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1152.51,"endTime":1155.39,"body":"done things with a man? Or like,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1155.39,"endTime":1157.43,"body":"how do you know this, this, and"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1155.39,"endTime":1157.43,"body":"this like well, cuz I just know."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1157.97,"endTime":1158.48,"body":"There you go."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1158.48,"endTime":1160.97,"body":"There you go. You know,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1158.48,"endTime":1160.97,"body":"like, boom, done."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1161.27,"endTime":1164.06,"body":"So I can hear a former"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1161.27,"endTime":1164.06,"body":"church leader of mine listening"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1164.06,"endTime":1167.21,"body":"to this and saying, well, if"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1164.06,"endTime":1167.21,"body":"you're asexual and aren't"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1167.21,"endTime":1169.94,"body":"interested in sex, why don't you"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1167.21,"endTime":1169.94,"body":"just marry a gay man and have a"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1169.94,"endTime":1172.01,"body":"nice marriage that's sexless?"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1172.09,"endTime":1173.89,"body":"Oh my gosh."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1173.95,"endTime":1177.97,"body":"I mean, I we could I"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1173.95,"endTime":1177.97,"body":"guess that's an option."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1177.97,"endTime":1179.08,"body":"Is that a proposal?"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1183.49,"endTime":1188.56,"body":"I mean I guess that's"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1183.49,"endTime":1188.56,"body":"not, not off the table, I"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1188.56,"endTime":1191.65,"body":"suppose. Like if that's what"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1188.56,"endTime":1191.65,"body":"they want then I guess that"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1191.65,"endTime":1195.28,"body":"would work out but I don't want"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1191.65,"endTime":1195.28,"body":"the like as homo romantic or"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1195.28,"endTime":1199.72,"body":"homosexual person to be living a"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1195.28,"endTime":1199.72,"body":"lie. So for me, I would I again,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1199.72,"endTime":1201.58,"body":"this would be a conversation"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1199.72,"endTime":1201.58,"body":"that I would have to have with"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1201.58,"endTime":1204.16,"body":"that person in depth like, is"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1201.58,"endTime":1204.16,"body":"this really something you want"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1204.16,"endTime":1207.43,"body":"to do, but I wouldn't want that"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1204.16,"endTime":1207.43,"body":"person to be hiding who they are"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1207.64,"endTime":1209.11,"body":"by being married to me."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1209.27,"endTime":1211.34,"body":"Yeah, and one thing I hear"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1209.27,"endTime":1211.34,"body":"you say that, you know, try to"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1211.34,"endTime":1214.1,"body":"have talked about before is,"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1211.34,"endTime":1214.1,"body":"orientation isn't just about"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1214.1,"endTime":1214.85,"body":"sexuality."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1214.91,"endTime":1215.12,"body":"Yep."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1215.15,"endTime":1216.56,"body":"Like, there are always"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1215.15,"endTime":1216.56,"body":"things that draw you to someone."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1216.56,"endTime":1219.23,"body":"And, and even if I were to be"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1216.56,"endTime":1219.23,"body":"like, platonically, married to a"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1219.23,"endTime":1222.08,"body":"woman, if you will, like, I'm"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1219.23,"endTime":1222.08,"body":"just not like, I'm not oriented"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1222.08,"endTime":1223.94,"body":"towards women and non-sexual"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1222.08,"endTime":1223.94,"body":"ways, either."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1223.94,"endTime":1227.87,"body":"Sure. Absolutely. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1223.94,"endTime":1227.87,"body":"So I think it's, it's definitely"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1227.87,"endTime":1231.47,"body":"a spectrum, right? Like the"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1227.87,"endTime":1231.47,"body":"asexual community, there are, I"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1231.47,"endTime":1234.92,"body":"guess, the whole all of"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1231.47,"endTime":1234.92,"body":"sexuality, all of romanticism,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1234.92,"endTime":1237.5,"body":"all of everything is a spectrum,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1234.92,"endTime":1237.5,"body":"right? You have sexual"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1237.5,"endTime":1239.24,"body":"attraction, you have romantic"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1237.5,"endTime":1239.24,"body":"attraction, aesthetic"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1239.24,"endTime":1241.43,"body":"attraction, you have platonic"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1239.24,"endTime":1241.43,"body":"attraction, all of these"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1241.43,"endTime":1244.4,"body":"different types of things that"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1241.43,"endTime":1244.4,"body":"come into play that a lot of"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1244.4,"endTime":1247.52,"body":"people just don't think about,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1244.4,"endTime":1247.52,"body":"because they're like, oh, I'm"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1247.52,"endTime":1249.71,"body":"straight and therefore, like, I"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1247.52,"endTime":1249.71,"body":"want to have sex with women, and"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1249.71,"endTime":1251.9,"body":"all of these things that come"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1249.71,"endTime":1251.9,"body":"with it, but like, they don't"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1251.9,"endTime":1255.23,"body":"really think about, like, maybe"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1251.9,"endTime":1255.23,"body":"I could be like, platonically"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1255.23,"endTime":1257.66,"body":"into men, you know, I mean,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1255.23,"endTime":1257.66,"body":"like, they don't think about"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1257.66,"endTime":1260.09,"body":"these other facets of a"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1257.66,"endTime":1260.09,"body":"relationship. A relationship"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1260.09,"endTime":1263.54,"body":"isn't just a one sided piece of"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1260.09,"endTime":1263.54,"body":"paper, it's a multi sided, like"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1263.54,"endTime":1267.29,"body":"a D 20. You know, there's so"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1263.54,"endTime":1267.29,"body":"many different sides to it, that"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1267.35,"endTime":1269.9,"body":"all need to be taken into"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1267.35,"endTime":1269.9,"body":"account. And I think a lot of"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1269.9,"endTime":1271.85,"body":"people don't take that into"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1269.9,"endTime":1271.85,"body":"account, because they just"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1271.85,"endTime":1273.5,"body":"assume that they're a one note"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1271.85,"endTime":1273.5,"body":"thing."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1273.9,"endTime":1275.64,"body":"Yeah. And it's almost"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1273.9,"endTime":1275.64,"body":"like, if you have something that"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1275.64,"endTime":1278.16,"body":"fits and works for you, why are"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1275.64,"endTime":1278.16,"body":"you going to look for something"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1278.22,"endTime":1278.58,"body":"else?"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1278.61,"endTime":1279.6,"body":"Yeah, why question it,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1278.61,"endTime":1279.6,"body":"you know?"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1279.6,"endTime":1281.67,"body":"But then, whereas,"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1279.6,"endTime":1281.67,"body":"like, all three of us, in"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1281.67,"endTime":1285.0,"body":"different ways have been like,"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1281.67,"endTime":1285.0,"body":"given this thing that doesn't"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1285.0,"endTime":1287.34,"body":"fit and doesn't work for us. So"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1285.0,"endTime":1287.34,"body":"obviously, we're gonna, like,"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1287.55,"endTime":1290.43,"body":"think a lot more about it and"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1287.55,"endTime":1290.43,"body":"try to figure out what we"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1290.43,"endTime":1291.21,"body":"actually need."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1291.24,"endTime":1291.66,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1292.5,"endTime":1295.92,"body":"Yeah, Tearza can you help"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1292.5,"endTime":1295.92,"body":"me understand what is it that"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1295.92,"endTime":1296.82,"body":"makes you want to get married?"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1297.77,"endTime":1301.55,"body":"Um, so I, I really love"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1297.77,"endTime":1301.55,"body":"the idea of like, having your"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1301.55,"endTime":1304.04,"body":"person that is like your person"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1301.55,"endTime":1304.04,"body":"that you go to for like,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1304.04,"endTime":1308.63,"body":"everything, you know. And I"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1304.04,"endTime":1308.63,"body":"think that, well, friends are"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1308.63,"endTime":1311.12,"body":"super great for that. And I have"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1308.63,"endTime":1311.12,"body":"had some really incredible"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1311.15,"endTime":1313.43,"body":"friendships over my life and"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1311.15,"endTime":1313.43,"body":"people who have been there for"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1313.43,"endTime":1319.34,"body":"me, I love the idea of like,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1313.43,"endTime":1319.34,"body":"your one person, you know. So to"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1319.34,"endTime":1323.93,"body":"me, like that idea is, is super"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1319.34,"endTime":1323.93,"body":"beautiful. And I want to be a"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1323.93,"endTime":1327.86,"body":"part of that. But again, if it"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1323.93,"endTime":1327.86,"body":"doesn't happen for me, then I'm"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1327.86,"endTime":1331.16,"body":"super content the way that I am."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1327.86,"endTime":1331.16,"body":"I'm super fine. Being single, I"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1331.64,"endTime":1335.87,"body":"love being single. But I would"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1331.64,"endTime":1335.87,"body":"like in the future for that to"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1335.87,"endTime":1337.76,"body":"be a possibility for me."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1337.91,"endTime":1341.51,"body":"Yeah. So let's say you, you"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1337.91,"endTime":1341.51,"body":"know, find a man you want to"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1341.51,"endTime":1344.9,"body":"marry you have the conversation,"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1341.51,"endTime":1344.9,"body":"he understands that you are"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1344.9,"endTime":1346.94,"body":"going to be the low desire"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1344.9,"endTime":1346.94,"body":"partner, and he'll probably be"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1346.94,"endTime":1350.15,"body":"the high desire partner, and you"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1346.94,"endTime":1350.15,"body":"decide to move forward and get"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1350.15,"endTime":1353.27,"body":"married. Is there part of that,"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1350.15,"endTime":1353.27,"body":"like being married? That that is"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1353.3,"endTime":1355.28,"body":"uncomfortable or scary to you at"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1353.3,"endTime":1355.28,"body":"all?"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1355.84,"endTime":1357.67,"body":"No, not really, because"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1355.84,"endTime":1357.67,"body":"I think if I'm going to be"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1357.67,"endTime":1359.98,"body":"marrying somebody, like I should"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1357.67,"endTime":1359.98,"body":"know them pretty well, you know,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1359.98,"endTime":1363.91,"body":"I should be wanting to spend the"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1359.98,"endTime":1363.91,"body":"rest of my life with them. I"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1363.94,"endTime":1368.56,"body":"have a rule within myself that"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1363.94,"endTime":1368.56,"body":"you should only go into like, an"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1368.56,"endTime":1372.52,"body":"engagement after four seasons on"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1368.56,"endTime":1372.52,"body":"a road trip. So I think..."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1372.52,"endTime":1373.33,"body":"Very good practice I'm"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1372.52,"endTime":1373.33,"body":"sure."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1372.739,"endTime":1377.569,"body":"Right, I get I get a lot"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1372.739,"endTime":1377.569,"body":"of, No, I don't. But I will be"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1377.719,"endTime":1380.269,"body":"using that in the future. Like,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1377.719,"endTime":1380.269,"body":"I think that you should get to"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1380.269,"endTime":1384.889,"body":"know somebody so well before you"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1380.269,"endTime":1384.889,"body":"go into this next phase of life,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1384.889,"endTime":1388.549,"body":"because that's such a huge"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1384.889,"endTime":1388.549,"body":"commitment. And there's so many"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1388.579,"endTime":1392.329,"body":"aspects to a person that are,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1388.579,"endTime":1392.329,"body":"you know, that you might not see"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1392.329,"endTime":1395.599,"body":"right away. And so you might be"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1392.329,"endTime":1395.599,"body":"super enamored with, like, their"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1395.599,"endTime":1399.559,"body":"talent or their intellect or"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1395.599,"endTime":1399.559,"body":"whatever. And not, you won't"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1399.589,"endTime":1402.199,"body":"have had the opportunity to look"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1399.589,"endTime":1402.199,"body":"at the other sides of them that"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1402.199,"endTime":1405.919,"body":"maybe aren't as attractive as"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1402.199,"endTime":1405.919,"body":"the ones that are to you. And so"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1405.919,"endTime":1408.889,"body":"I think that spending a lot of"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1405.919,"endTime":1408.889,"body":"time with somebody before making"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1408.889,"endTime":1412.729,"body":"that decision is like the the"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1408.889,"endTime":1412.729,"body":"most key thing that you can"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1412.729,"endTime":1416.479,"body":"possibly do, like taking the"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1412.729,"endTime":1416.479,"body":"time to like get to fully know"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1416.479,"endTime":1420.349,"body":"somebody before you enter that."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1416.479,"endTime":1420.349,"body":"And I think especially for me,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1420.559,"endTime":1423.229,"body":"as somebody who is asexual who's"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1420.559,"endTime":1423.229,"body":"somebody who does not take"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1423.229,"endTime":1426.859,"body":"relationships lightly, that is"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1423.229,"endTime":1426.859,"body":"like, the most important thing"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1426.859,"endTime":1429.799,"body":"is like, I have to know you,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1426.859,"endTime":1429.799,"body":"maybe not inside and out but"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1429.799,"endTime":1434.119,"body":"like so well that like I won't"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1429.799,"endTime":1434.119,"body":"be blindsided by things in the"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1431.98,"endTime":1437.86,"body":"I love that. Charlie,"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1431.98,"endTime":1437.86,"body":"you're pensive."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1434.119,"endTime":1434.629,"body":"future"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1438.14,"endTime":1440.57,"body":"I am pensive. I'm just"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1438.14,"endTime":1440.57,"body":"thinking about how like, I feel"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1440.57,"endTime":1444.38,"body":"like everyone is scared of"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1440.57,"endTime":1444.38,"body":"different orientations. But you"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1444.38,"endTime":1448.82,"body":"being asexual does nothing to my"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1444.38,"endTime":1448.82,"body":"relationship with you, or your"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1448.82,"endTime":1453.17,"body":"life or my life and me being gay"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1448.82,"endTime":1453.17,"body":"does nothing to it anyway. And I"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1453.17,"endTime":1456.11,"body":"don't know why we're so scared"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1453.17,"endTime":1456.11,"body":"of people who are different when"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1456.41,"endTime":1459.98,"body":"I mean, unless you're trying to"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1456.41,"endTime":1459.98,"body":"date or have like a serious"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1459.98,"endTime":1463.04,"body":"romantic relationship with that"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1459.98,"endTime":1463.04,"body":"person, then, like a lot of"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1463.04,"endTime":1465.86,"body":"these things that we're talking"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1463.04,"endTime":1465.86,"body":"about are just really personal,"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1466.13,"endTime":1470.27,"body":"and are for like, an individual"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1466.13,"endTime":1470.27,"body":"to understand themselves, and"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1470.27,"endTime":1473.48,"body":"maybe their partner, but then"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1470.27,"endTime":1473.48,"body":"like, on a larger scale like"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1473.9,"endTime":1476.51,"body":"society. I don't know why"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1473.9,"endTime":1476.51,"body":"everyone wants to be so"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1476.51,"endTime":1477.14,"body":"involved."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1477.78,"endTime":1478.5,"body":"Why does it matter?"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1478.56,"endTime":1480.75,"body":"Yeah, like why is"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1478.56,"endTime":1480.75,"body":"everyone trying to like, figure"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1480.75,"endTime":1484.71,"body":"out about your relationships and"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1480.75,"endTime":1484.71,"body":"about the way you view sex?"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1484.74,"endTime":1489.06,"body":"Yeah. If it's not to figure out"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1484.74,"endTime":1489.06,"body":"their own identity, you know, I"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1489.06,"endTime":1491.61,"body":"mean, yeah, I just wish we could"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1489.06,"endTime":1491.61,"body":"kind of like, take a break from"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1491.61,"endTime":1493.29,"body":"that and let people be"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1491.61,"endTime":1493.29,"body":"themselves more."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1493.32,"endTime":1497.07,"body":"100%. I think from like,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1493.32,"endTime":1497.07,"body":"what I've learned is that a lot"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1497.07,"endTime":1501.48,"body":"of sort of fear of different is"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1497.07,"endTime":1501.48,"body":"just is stems from not knowing,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1501.54,"endTime":1504.66,"body":"right? Like, it stems from a"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1501.54,"endTime":1504.66,"body":"lack of information that stems"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1504.66,"endTime":1508.32,"body":"from a lack of education. And so"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1504.66,"endTime":1508.32,"body":"I think that by, you know,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1508.32,"endTime":1510.51,"body":"having like a podcast like this,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1508.32,"endTime":1510.51,"body":"things like that, where we"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1510.66,"endTime":1514.38,"body":"openly sort of spread this"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1510.66,"endTime":1514.38,"body":"information like, see, like,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1514.38,"endTime":1518.13,"body":"it's not so scary, like, you're"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1514.38,"endTime":1518.13,"body":"like, this is a fine and normal"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1518.13,"endTime":1521.64,"body":"thing to be, even though it's"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1518.13,"endTime":1521.64,"body":"different than the societal"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1521.64,"endTime":1526.41,"body":"norm. Like, I think providing"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1521.64,"endTime":1526.41,"body":"that level of education does"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1526.41,"endTime":1529.38,"body":"make a difference in the world."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1526.41,"endTime":1529.38,"body":"And I think that fear stems from"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1529.38,"endTime":1530.34,"body":"not knowing,"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1530.81,"endTime":1532.97,"body":"Do people like think"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1530.81,"endTime":1532.97,"body":"you're sterile? Like you have a"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1532.97,"endTime":1535.16,"body":"sterile personality because"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1532.97,"endTime":1535.16,"body":"you're asexual?"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1535.52,"endTime":1539.87,"body":"Um, I don't think so. I"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1535.52,"endTime":1539.87,"body":"think I'm pretty bubbly."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1539.87,"endTime":1540.8,"body":"I think you're super"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1539.87,"endTime":1540.8,"body":"bubbly"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1540.83,"endTime":1542.45,"body":"I wouldn't describe you as"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1540.83,"endTime":1542.45,"body":"sterile."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1542.45,"endTime":1543.02,"body":"Neither would I."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1543.68,"endTime":1545.66,"body":"I mean, I've definitely"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1543.68,"endTime":1545.66,"body":"been described as like prude,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1545.66,"endTime":1550.49,"body":"and things by like, men who I've"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1545.66,"endTime":1550.49,"body":"refused to do things with. But I"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1550.49,"endTime":1552.71,"body":"think that's just from them"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1550.49,"endTime":1552.71,"body":"being hurt."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1555.26,"endTime":1557.9,"body":"Like, no, thank you, like"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1555.26,"endTime":1557.9,"body":"you prude."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1558.02,"endTime":1560.45,"body":"Yeah, like, they just"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1558.02,"endTime":1560.45,"body":"they they sort of just attack"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1560.45,"endTime":1562.88,"body":"and it's like, okay, well,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1560.45,"endTime":1562.88,"body":"you're childish. so."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1563.87,"endTime":1566.81,"body":"Yeah as, as we're talking,"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1563.87,"endTime":1566.81,"body":"and you were talking about, you"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1566.81,"endTime":1570.29,"body":"know, people being afraid of"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1566.81,"endTime":1570.29,"body":"something they don't know. And I"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1570.29,"endTime":1572.18,"body":"guess there's part of me that"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1570.29,"endTime":1572.18,"body":"would be like, this isn't"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1572.18,"endTime":1574.31,"body":"possible, like, how could"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1572.18,"endTime":1574.31,"body":"someone be asexual? Like, from"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1574.31,"endTime":1576.26,"body":"my own experience it just seems"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1574.31,"endTime":1576.26,"body":"so impossible."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1576.26,"endTime":1576.44,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1576.68,"endTime":1578.57,"body":"And I'm just really glad"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1576.68,"endTime":1578.57,"body":"that you're willing to share"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1578.57,"endTime":1580.79,"body":"your experience. And so that,"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1578.57,"endTime":1580.79,"body":"you know, we can understand,"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1580.79,"endTime":1583.28,"body":"like, the possibilities and the"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1580.79,"endTime":1583.28,"body":"diversity that exists."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1583.28,"endTime":1584.36,"body":"Yeah, absolutely."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1584.9,"endTime":1586.91,"body":"Do people ask you about"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1584.9,"endTime":1586.91,"body":"having kids a lot?"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1587.14,"endTime":1589.48,"body":"They do actually. I've"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1587.14,"endTime":1589.48,"body":"gotten that question several"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1589.48,"endTime":1593.74,"body":"times. And for me, even from a"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1589.48,"endTime":1593.74,"body":"very, very young age, adoption"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1593.74,"endTime":1598.9,"body":"has always been like my number"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1593.74,"endTime":1598.9,"body":"one, like, I want to adopt all"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1598.9,"endTime":1601.87,"body":"of the kids on the planet. I"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1598.9,"endTime":1601.87,"body":"think that there are so many"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1601.99,"endTime":1604.63,"body":"spiritual beings already on this"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1601.99,"endTime":1604.63,"body":"planet that are deserving and in"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1604.63,"endTime":1608.32,"body":"need of loving homes. And I"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1604.63,"endTime":1608.32,"body":"think that a lot of people sort"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1608.32,"endTime":1610.96,"body":"of looked down on adoption or"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1608.32,"endTime":1610.96,"body":"view it like a secondary, like,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1611.08,"endTime":1614.11,"body":"oh, I wasn't able to have my own"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1611.08,"endTime":1614.11,"body":"kids. And so I'm, I'm turning to"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1614.11,"endTime":1617.08,"body":"adoption. And I think we need to"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1614.11,"endTime":1617.08,"body":"sort of flip that narrative,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1617.08,"endTime":1620.92,"body":"because I think that everybody"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1617.08,"endTime":1620.92,"body":"on this earth is deserving of a"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1620.92,"endTime":1623.62,"body":"loving home and a loving family."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1620.92,"endTime":1623.62,"body":"And so for me, that's like,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1623.62,"endTime":1625.84,"body":"number one. Number one, I want"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1623.62,"endTime":1625.84,"body":"to adopt kids."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1626.44,"endTime":1628.24,"body":"You know, I, that"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1626.44,"endTime":1628.24,"body":"reminds me I was having a"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1628.24,"endTime":1630.61,"body":"conversation with a friend a few"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1628.24,"endTime":1630.61,"body":"years ago, and she said that"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1630.61,"endTime":1634.06,"body":"growing up, her mom always told"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1630.61,"endTime":1634.06,"body":"her that God made people gay and"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1634.06,"endTime":1637.84,"body":"asexual to raise all the babies"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1634.06,"endTime":1637.84,"body":"that didn't have homes."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1638.05,"endTime":1638.89,"body":"Ahhh, that's so cute."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1638.89,"endTime":1640.12,"body":"That's really cute."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1640.12,"endTime":1640.9,"body":"That's really beautiful."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1643.9,"endTime":1645.76,"body":"Well, if that's the"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1643.9,"endTime":1645.76,"body":"reason that I'm Ace, then I"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1645.76,"endTime":1648.37,"body":"will, I will take that mantle,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1645.76,"endTime":1648.37,"body":"and I will wear it with pride"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1648.37,"endTime":1650.26,"body":"and raise all the babies that"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1648.37,"endTime":1650.26,"body":"need homes."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1651.76,"endTime":1654.76,"body":"So when I talk about the"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1651.76,"endTime":1654.76,"body":"LGBTQ community, I usually just"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1654.76,"endTime":1655.96,"body":"say LGBTQ."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1656.11,"endTime":1656.5,"body":"Sure."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1656.56,"endTime":1660.13,"body":"And in my head, you know,"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1656.56,"endTime":1660.13,"body":"Q, the Q, the queer kind of"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1660.16,"endTime":1661.96,"body":"covers everyone else?"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1661.99,"endTime":1662.26,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1662.63,"endTime":1665.18,"body":"How do you feel about that?"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1662.63,"endTime":1665.18,"body":"What would you want us to say?"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1665.54,"endTime":1667.55,"body":"LGBTQIA+ every time?"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1667.61,"endTime":1670.52,"body":"Um, no, I mean, I'm not"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1667.61,"endTime":1670.52,"body":"particular about it. I think"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1670.52,"endTime":1673.91,"body":"that I appreciate like, the the"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1670.52,"endTime":1673.91,"body":"lengthened one, like, when"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1673.91,"endTime":1676.73,"body":"people use the full version, I'm"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1673.91,"endTime":1676.73,"body":"like, ah, yes, like, good, good"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1676.73,"endTime":1679.1,"body":"for you. But I'm not gonna like"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1676.73,"endTime":1679.1,"body":"look down on people for not"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1679.1,"endTime":1683.51,"body":"using all of them. Because I"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1679.1,"endTime":1683.51,"body":"agree. The Q encompasses pretty"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1683.51,"endTime":1688.25,"body":"much everything that is not the"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1683.51,"endTime":1688.25,"body":"societal norm. So I am fine with"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1688.4,"endTime":1692.33,"body":"with either, but I appreciate"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1688.4,"endTime":1692.33,"body":"the full length of it all. That"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1692.33,"endTime":1693.11,"body":"was phrased really weird."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1693.8,"endTime":1695.33,"body":"So you appreciate being"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1693.8,"endTime":1695.33,"body":"included?"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1695.57,"endTime":1699.47,"body":"Yeah, yeah. And another"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1695.57,"endTime":1699.47,"body":"thing is, a lot of people think"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1699.47,"endTime":1705.08,"body":"that the A in LGBTQIA+ stands"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1699.47,"endTime":1705.08,"body":"for ally, does not thinking"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1705.08,"endTime":1709.01,"body":"about that. It doesn't. By being"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1705.08,"endTime":1709.01,"body":"an ally, you are inherently not"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1709.01,"endTime":1712.61,"body":"a part of the community. So you"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1709.01,"endTime":1712.61,"body":"don't get a letter."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1713.15,"endTime":1714.29,"body":"By definition."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1716.09,"endTime":1718.28,"body":"You're not a part of it."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1716.09,"endTime":1718.28,"body":"You're an ally. You're not a"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1718.28,"endTime":1720.11,"body":"part of the community. Not not"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1718.28,"endTime":1720.11,"body":"to say..."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1720.11,"endTime":1721.1,"body":"We love you."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1721.0,"endTime":1723.22,"body":"We love you so much not"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1721.0,"endTime":1723.22,"body":"to say that you're not important"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1723.22,"endTime":1726.91,"body":"and you're not a super loved"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1723.22,"endTime":1726.91,"body":"aspect of like this community"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1726.91,"endTime":1730.45,"body":"but like you're not a part of"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1726.91,"endTime":1730.45,"body":"it. And by saying that, it's"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1730.48,"endTime":1735.25,"body":"that the A stands for ally is"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1730.48,"endTime":1735.25,"body":"erasing asexuality, aromanticism"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1735.31,"endTime":1739.09,"body":"agender is like, all of those"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1735.31,"endTime":1739.09,"body":"types of things. So I think that"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1739.69,"endTime":1744.58,"body":"this already under represented"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1739.69,"endTime":1744.58,"body":"aspect of the community is,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1744.91,"endTime":1747.88,"body":"again getting swept under the"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1744.91,"endTime":1747.88,"body":"rug by allies saying that the A"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1747.88,"endTime":1748.69,"body":"stands for ally."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1749.95,"endTime":1753.01,"body":"I have a question, but"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1749.95,"endTime":1753.01,"body":"I don't know if it's like, it"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1753.01,"endTime":1755.86,"body":"might be kind of awkward. I'm"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1753.01,"endTime":1755.86,"body":"just thinking like biologically"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1755.86,"endTime":1758.14,"body":"like, everything works?"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1758.14,"endTime":1759.58,"body":"Everything functions"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1758.14,"endTime":1759.58,"body":"just fine."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1760.45,"endTime":1762.52,"body":"Perfect. So I guess"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1762.52,"endTime":1765.73,"body":"I'm just wondering about like, I"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1762.52,"endTime":1765.73,"body":"don't know, I might, I don't"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1765.73,"endTime":1771.76,"body":"want to sound weird, no, say"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1765.73,"endTime":1771.76,"body":"like, arousal within asexuality,"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1772.36,"endTime":1775.09,"body":"because I'm assuming that you"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1772.36,"endTime":1775.09,"body":"can be aroused."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1775.09,"endTime":1775.39,"body":"Yep."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1776.05,"endTime":1777.7,"body":"Yeah, I don't know what"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1776.05,"endTime":1777.7,"body":"my question is."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1777.7,"endTime":1781.27,"body":"No, no, no. Does my body"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1777.7,"endTime":1781.27,"body":"function properly? I think,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1781.27,"endTime":1783.76,"body":"yeah, I think this kind of goes"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1781.27,"endTime":1783.76,"body":"hand in hand with people being"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1783.79,"endTime":1786.64,"body":"with being broken, right? is"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1783.79,"endTime":1786.64,"body":"that they think that there might"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1786.64,"endTime":1788.59,"body":"be something physiologically"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1786.64,"endTime":1788.59,"body":"wrong with you as well, like,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1788.62,"endTime":1792.1,"body":"right, that you you and that is"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1788.62,"endTime":1792.1,"body":"a thing for a lot of people that"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1792.1,"endTime":1794.56,"body":"like sex is either painful or"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1792.1,"endTime":1794.56,"body":"that they can't get aroused or"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1794.56,"endTime":1797.38,"body":"whatever, blah, blah, but that"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1794.56,"endTime":1797.38,"body":"has nothing to do with being"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1797.38,"endTime":1801.22,"body":"asexual. So to answer your"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1797.38,"endTime":1801.22,"body":"question, yes, I everything"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1801.22,"endTime":1806.29,"body":"functions just fine. It is not,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1801.22,"endTime":1806.29,"body":"that is not a trial that I have"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1806.32,"endTime":1809.02,"body":"my body works 100% perfectly"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1806.32,"endTime":1809.02,"body":"fine."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1809.68,"endTime":1811.87,"body":"Are you sure you just"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1809.68,"endTime":1811.87,"body":"haven't met the right person?"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1812.23,"endTime":1813.94,"body":"Maybe I haven't. You're"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1812.23,"endTime":1813.94,"body":"right."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1814.39,"endTime":1817.57,"body":"I'm saying that very"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1814.39,"endTime":1817.57,"body":"tongue in cheek, sarcastically."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1819.04,"endTime":1821.86,"body":"I bet you got that a lot, huh?"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1819.04,"endTime":1821.86,"body":"Yeah, yeah, sorry."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1821.93,"endTime":1824.09,"body":"No, it's totally fine."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1821.93,"endTime":1824.09,"body":"Another thing that I get a lot"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1824.09,"endTime":1828.62,"body":"is like, you're too pretty to be"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1824.09,"endTime":1828.62,"body":"asexual, which is I'm like,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1828.62,"endTime":1832.01,"body":"okay, well, what does that even"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1828.62,"endTime":1832.01,"body":"mean? Like? First of all, I"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1832.01,"endTime":1834.47,"body":"think that my appearance is at"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1832.01,"endTime":1834.47,"body":"least like, interesting and"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1834.47,"endTime":1838.85,"body":"important thing about me. But"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1834.47,"endTime":1838.85,"body":"like to say that inherently"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1839.0,"endTime":1841.85,"body":"implies that, like, you are"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1839.0,"endTime":1841.85,"body":"viewing me for sexual purposes,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1841.85,"endTime":1846.26,"body":"or like, for your own viewing"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1841.85,"endTime":1846.26,"body":"pleasure. And I don't like that."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1846.26,"endTime":1849.32,"body":"So um, yeah, that's a question"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1846.26,"endTime":1849.32,"body":"that I get that I will"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1849.32,"endTime":1852.11,"body":"immediately just be like, and"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1849.32,"endTime":1852.11,"body":"we're done with this. And we're"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1852.11,"endTime":1853.64,"body":"not going any further from"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1852.11,"endTime":1853.64,"body":"there."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1854.5,"endTime":1858.01,"body":"So how do people respond"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1854.5,"endTime":1858.01,"body":"when you come out to them? Is"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1858.01,"endTime":1858.79,"body":"coming out the right term,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1858.88,"endTime":1860.8,"body":"I think coming out is"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1858.88,"endTime":1860.8,"body":"the right term. It's"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1860.8,"endTime":1862.96,"body":"interesting, because it's like,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1860.8,"endTime":1862.96,"body":"when you come out, it's like,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1862.96,"endTime":1865.18,"body":"hey, Mom and Dad, like, I'm not"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1862.96,"endTime":1865.18,"body":"having sex with people. And"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1865.18,"endTime":1865.6,"body":"they're like,"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":1865.63,"endTime":1866.29,"body":"Great."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1867.65,"endTime":1870.2,"body":"And what else is about"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1867.65,"endTime":1870.2,"body":"it, you know? So, but it's like,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1870.2,"endTime":1873.83,"body":"but mom, I might never have sex"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1870.2,"endTime":1873.83,"body":"with people, right? And so my"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1873.83,"endTime":1878.21,"body":"family, they bless their hearts,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1873.83,"endTime":1878.21,"body":"they are very accepting of who I"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1878.21,"endTime":1881.54,"body":"am. But I don't think they quite"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1878.21,"endTime":1881.54,"body":"understand, right? So like, my"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1881.54,"endTime":1884.51,"body":"mom, and my brothers, and all of"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1881.54,"endTime":1884.51,"body":"them will talk about, like,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1884.66,"endTime":1886.43,"body":"their sexual experiences. And"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1884.66,"endTime":1886.43,"body":"they'll be like, oh, Tearza,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1886.46,"endTime":1889.01,"body":"like one day, it'll happen for"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1886.46,"endTime":1889.01,"body":"you. And I'm like, but like,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1889.16,"endTime":1891.71,"body":"probably it won't. And that's"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1889.16,"endTime":1891.71,"body":"also fine. And they're like,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1891.71,"endTime":1895.46,"body":"well, how are you just like,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1891.71,"endTime":1895.46,"body":"it'll happen. I'm like, No, but"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1895.46,"endTime":1898.52,"body":"like, they accept the fact that"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1895.46,"endTime":1898.52,"body":"like, I'm not actively dating"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1898.52,"endTime":1902.72,"body":"people. And I'm not actively"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1898.52,"endTime":1902.72,"body":"like, searching to have sex with"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1902.72,"endTime":1905.15,"body":"people. But like, I don't think"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1902.72,"endTime":1905.15,"body":"they quite understand, like,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1905.18,"endTime":1909.92,"body":"what it means, really. And I"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1905.18,"endTime":1909.92,"body":"think that that's just a lack of"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1909.92,"endTime":1912.29,"body":"education on their part. And"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1909.92,"endTime":1912.29,"body":"like, I try my best, but"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1912.29,"endTime":1914.54,"body":"honestly, I feel like it's"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1912.29,"endTime":1914.54,"body":"falling on deaf ears. So..."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1914.9,"endTime":1917.93,"body":"Well, I feel like a lot"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1914.9,"endTime":1917.93,"body":"of parents want their children"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1917.93,"endTime":1920.9,"body":"to have happiness and like,"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1917.93,"endTime":1920.9,"body":"their frame of reference for"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1920.9,"endTime":1922.88,"body":"happiness is their own"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1920.9,"endTime":1922.88,"body":"happiness."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1922.91,"endTime":1923.27,"body":"Right."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1923.51,"endTime":1926.9,"body":"And so like, if you are"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1923.51,"endTime":1926.9,"body":"a parent of a queer kid, then"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1926.9,"endTime":1929.36,"body":"it's just important to like,"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1926.9,"endTime":1929.36,"body":"trust what they're saying."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1929.39,"endTime":1929.72,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1929.75,"endTime":1932.42,"body":"And like, even even if"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1929.75,"endTime":1932.42,"body":"there is flexibility there, and"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1932.42,"endTime":1935.84,"body":"even if you are identifying one"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1932.42,"endTime":1935.84,"body":"way now, or they are identifying"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1935.84,"endTime":1938.81,"body":"one way now and then change it"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1935.84,"endTime":1938.81,"body":"in the future, like, meeting"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1938.81,"endTime":1940.7,"body":"someone where they're at, and"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1938.81,"endTime":1940.7,"body":"believing their experience is"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1940.7,"endTime":1941.66,"body":"really powerful."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1941.69,"endTime":1942.05,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1942.08,"endTime":1946.25,"body":"And understanding that,"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1942.08,"endTime":1946.25,"body":"like, what makes you happy and"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1946.25,"endTime":1949.82,"body":"fulfilled as an asexual woman is"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1946.25,"endTime":1949.82,"body":"probably different than what"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1949.82,"endTime":1953.24,"body":"makes me feel happy and"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1949.82,"endTime":1953.24,"body":"meaningful as a gay man. And"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":1953.24,"endTime":1953.81,"body":"that's okay."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1953.87,"endTime":1957.23,"body":"Yeah. 100%. So to answer"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1953.87,"endTime":1957.23,"body":"a question about like, coming"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1957.23,"endTime":1960.14,"body":"out, I don't know if there was"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1957.23,"endTime":1960.14,"body":"ever a moment when I like, came"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1960.14,"endTime":1963.14,"body":"out, per se. Like, I didn't make"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1960.14,"endTime":1963.14,"body":"like a huge Facebook posts, like"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1963.14,"endTime":1965.87,"body":"I didn't was wasn't like, I'm"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1963.14,"endTime":1965.87,"body":"asexual, because to me, I'm"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1965.87,"endTime":1968.81,"body":"like, it doesn't, it doesn't"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1965.87,"endTime":1968.81,"body":"matter. And it doesn't change"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1968.87,"endTime":1972.23,"body":"anything. Because like, going"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1968.87,"endTime":1972.23,"body":"back to what we said earlier,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1972.26,"endTime":1976.64,"body":"for all intents and purposes, I"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1972.26,"endTime":1976.64,"body":"am straight, just lacking the"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1976.7,"endTime":1980.48,"body":"sexual sort of attraction to"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1976.7,"endTime":1980.48,"body":"people that everybody else seems"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1980.48,"endTime":1985.31,"body":"to have. So I never really came"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1980.48,"endTime":1985.31,"body":"out, I just sort of will, like,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1985.31,"endTime":1988.04,"body":"tell people or like, and like"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1985.31,"endTime":1988.04,"body":"host like Q and A's on my"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1988.04,"endTime":1990.68,"body":"Instagram and things like that,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1988.04,"endTime":1990.68,"body":"just to sort of educate. But I"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1990.68,"endTime":1993.92,"body":"don't I don't know if coming out"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1990.68,"endTime":1993.92,"body":"is the proper term because I"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1993.92,"endTime":1996.65,"body":"didn't really ever, if that"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1993.92,"endTime":1996.65,"body":"makes sense. Like, it just sort"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1996.65,"endTime":1999.41,"body":"of was the thing that I was"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1996.65,"endTime":1999.41,"body":"like, oh, here's a word for what"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1999.41,"endTime":2001.72,"body":"I've been feeling my whole life."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":1999.41,"endTime":2001.72,"body":"And I'm gonna tell everybody"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2001.72,"endTime":2002.08,"body":"else about it."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2002.6,"endTime":2005.93,"body":"So it sounds like a lot of"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2002.6,"endTime":2005.93,"body":"people's responses like, what's"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2005.93,"endTime":2007.64,"body":"the big deal? Yeah, and I don't"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2005.93,"endTime":2007.64,"body":"get it."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2007.67,"endTime":2011.03,"body":"Yeah. Yeah. They just"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2007.67,"endTime":2011.03,"body":"sort of like hear like, oh,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2011.03,"endTime":2012.83,"body":"you're not having sex with"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2011.03,"endTime":2012.83,"body":"people. Okay, cool. And then"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2012.83,"endTime":2014.96,"body":"just like, go about their day."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2012.83,"endTime":2014.96,"body":"And I'm like, but it's more than"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2014.96,"endTime":2018.05,"body":"that. It's not just that I'm not"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2014.96,"endTime":2018.05,"body":"I'm not choosing it's different"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2018.05,"endTime":2019.58,"body":"than being chaste. It's"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2018.05,"endTime":2019.58,"body":"different than..."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2020.15,"endTime":2021.08,"body":"It's different than"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2020.15,"endTime":2021.08,"body":"celibacy."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2021.11,"endTime":2023.99,"body":"...than celibacy. 100%."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2021.11,"endTime":2023.99,"body":"It's not, I'm not actively"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2023.99,"endTime":2028.49,"body":"choosing to ignore or go against"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2023.99,"endTime":2028.49,"body":"my natural urges. They don't"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2028.49,"endTime":2029.0,"body":"exist."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2029.03,"endTime":2030.71,"body":"Like those are your"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2029.03,"endTime":2030.71,"body":"natural urges."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2030.77,"endTime":2032.45,"body":"Are to not do that."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2030.77,"endTime":2032.45,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2032.54,"endTime":2034.61,"body":"Yeah. I noticed a"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2032.54,"endTime":2034.61,"body":"couple times you said Ace,"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2034.94,"endTime":2037.19,"body":"instead of asexual. Is that just"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2034.94,"endTime":2037.19,"body":"like a shortened version?"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2037.22,"endTime":2041.48,"body":"Yeah, yeah. So um, the"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2037.22,"endTime":2041.48,"body":"ACE can be like ACE community,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2041.48,"endTime":2045.83,"body":"we've also kind of adopted, like"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2041.48,"endTime":2045.83,"body":"playing cards, like the aces in"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2045.89,"endTime":2048.14,"body":"a deck of playing cards is sort"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2045.89,"endTime":2048.14,"body":"of to represent the different"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2048.17,"endTime":2049.97,"body":"aspects of the asexual"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2048.17,"endTime":2049.97,"body":"community."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2050.0,"endTime":2051.08,"body":"They are the best cards,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2051.0,"endTime":2054.72,"body":"You're right. 100%, but"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2051.0,"endTime":2054.72,"body":"the each of the symbols"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2054.75,"endTime":2057.27,"body":"represent different things. So"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2054.75,"endTime":2057.27,"body":"the ace of spades is like"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2057.3,"endTime":2060.99,"body":"asexual aromantic. Like, I don't"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2057.3,"endTime":2060.99,"body":"want any sort of any type of"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2060.99,"endTime":2064.68,"body":"relationship with anybody that"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2060.99,"endTime":2064.68,"body":"is even sort of remotely like a"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2064.71,"endTime":2068.01,"body":"one on one relationship"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2064.71,"endTime":2068.01,"body":"relationship. You know, the ace"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2068.01,"endTime":2070.56,"body":"of hearts is what I would"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2068.01,"endTime":2070.56,"body":"consider myself because I am an"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2070.56,"endTime":2072.36,"body":"asexual, hetero romantic. I"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2072.36,"endTime":2072.72,"body":"That's cute."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2072.75,"endTime":2076.98,"body":"I do want a romantic"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2072.75,"endTime":2076.98,"body":"relationship, just not a sexual"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2077.01,"endTime":2081.63,"body":"relationship. The ace of"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2077.01,"endTime":2081.63,"body":"diamonds I think represents sort"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2081.63,"endTime":2081.69,"body":"of..."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2081.69,"endTime":2082.95,"body":"You're going to be rich"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2081.69,"endTime":2082.95,"body":"because you have to pay for"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2082.95,"endTime":2083.25,"body":"kids."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2083.28,"endTime":2088.47,"body":"100% Yeah, absolutely."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2083.28,"endTime":2088.47,"body":"Yeah. Oh, gosh."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2089.13,"endTime":2090.69,"body":"Don't talk about"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2089.13,"endTime":2090.69,"body":"adoption fees"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2092.31,"endTime":2094.74,"body":"They are very"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2092.31,"endTime":2094.74,"body":"overwhelming. And the ace of"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2094.74,"endTime":2098.37,"body":"diamonds I think represents sort"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2094.74,"endTime":2098.37,"body":"of just the ace of clubs is just"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2098.37,"endTime":2102.45,"body":"like general differentness it's"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2098.37,"endTime":2102.45,"body":"like I'm asexual, but I'm not"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2102.45,"endTime":2105.81,"body":"really sure what, or like to"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2102.45,"endTime":2105.81,"body":"what extent blah, blah, blah."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2106.17,"endTime":2109.56,"body":"And the ace of diamonds is like"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2106.17,"endTime":2109.56,"body":"Demi's. So like demisexual,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2109.59,"endTime":2112.65,"body":"demiromantic, those types of"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2109.59,"endTime":2112.65,"body":"things. Do we know what that"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2112.65,"endTime":2113.49,"body":"means? Should I explain that?"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2113.58,"endTime":2114.06,"body":"You should."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2114.09,"endTime":2117.33,"body":"Okay. So demi,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2114.09,"endTime":2117.33,"body":"demisexual and demiromantic"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2117.36,"endTime":2120.81,"body":"would be what like experiencing"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2117.36,"endTime":2120.81,"body":"sexual or romantic attraction"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2120.81,"endTime":2124.17,"body":"after you have an established"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2120.81,"endTime":2124.17,"body":"relationship with somebody. So I"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2124.17,"endTime":2126.66,"body":"might very well come to find in"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2124.17,"endTime":2126.66,"body":"the future that I am in fact,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2126.69,"endTime":2129.63,"body":"demisexual instead of asexual."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2126.69,"endTime":2129.63,"body":"But yeah, it's basically just"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2129.63,"endTime":2131.88,"body":"you have to have a deep"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2129.63,"endTime":2131.88,"body":"emotional connection with"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2131.88,"endTime":2135.78,"body":"somebody in order to first or in"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2131.88,"endTime":2135.78,"body":"order to feel sexually attracted"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2135.78,"endTime":2136.14,"body":"to them."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2136.32,"endTime":2138.3,"body":"So you would define"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2136.32,"endTime":2138.3,"body":"demisexual as being part of like"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2138.3,"endTime":2139.26,"body":"the asexual spectrum."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2139.0,"endTime":2141.34,"body":"Yeah, that falls under"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2139.0,"endTime":2141.34,"body":"the ACE umbrella."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2141.73,"endTime":2143.92,"body":"So what would you say"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2141.73,"endTime":2143.92,"body":"to someone who is like, well,"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2143.92,"endTime":2145.78,"body":"then what's the big deal? Why do"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2143.92,"endTime":2145.78,"body":"you have to label that?"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2145.0,"endTime":2149.02,"body":"Well, because the reason"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2145.0,"endTime":2149.02,"body":"that you have to label that is"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2149.02,"endTime":2153.49,"body":"because it is not normal. It's"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2149.02,"endTime":2153.49,"body":"not the same as everybody else."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2153.49,"endTime":2156.37,"body":"And for people like me, who"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2153.49,"endTime":2156.37,"body":"lived a lot of their life"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2156.37,"endTime":2159.13,"body":"feeling like they're broken,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2156.37,"endTime":2159.13,"body":"it's important to have like, I"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2159.13,"endTime":2161.8,"body":"mean, people don't have to label"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2159.13,"endTime":2161.8,"body":"themselves as they don't want"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2161.8,"endTime":2164.02,"body":"to, like the labels are for us"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2161.8,"endTime":2164.02,"body":"to better identify and"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2164.02,"endTime":2167.14,"body":"understand who we are as a"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2164.02,"endTime":2167.14,"body":"person. It's not for you to"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2167.14,"endTime":2169.63,"body":"understand who I am. It's for me"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2167.14,"endTime":2169.63,"body":"to understand who I am."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2169.72,"endTime":2170.71,"body":"Oooh, that was pretty."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2170.8,"endTime":2172.96,"body":"It sounds like the label"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2170.8,"endTime":2172.96,"body":"kind of helps you feel that you"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2172.96,"endTime":2173.56,"body":"aren't broken."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2173.59,"endTime":2175.54,"body":"Yeah, it helped me find"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2173.59,"endTime":2175.54,"body":"a community, it helped me"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2175.54,"endTime":2178.48,"body":"realize that I wasn't alone in"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2175.54,"endTime":2178.48,"body":"feeling this because up until"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2178.48,"endTime":2181.24,"body":"that point, I was like, I am the"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2178.48,"endTime":2181.24,"body":"only person on the whole planet"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2181.24,"endTime":2185.47,"body":"who isn't feeling these things."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2181.24,"endTime":2185.47,"body":"And that's super isolating."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2185.78,"endTime":2187.97,"body":"Well, and like for me"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2185.78,"endTime":2187.97,"body":"identifying with the labels gay"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2187.97,"endTime":2191.0,"body":"helped me understand myself."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2187.97,"endTime":2191.0,"body":"Yeah. And it just is like a word"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2191.0,"endTime":2194.0,"body":"that like, kind of orients me in"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2191.0,"endTime":2194.0,"body":"a new frame of reference to"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2194.0,"endTime":2197.27,"body":"where I can figure out like, new"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2194.0,"endTime":2197.27,"body":"things about my experience."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2197.3,"endTime":2197.63,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2197.87,"endTime":2200.75,"body":"You're so cool. I'm so"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2197.87,"endTime":2200.75,"body":"glad you're on the show today."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2202.49,"endTime":2203.63,"body":"I'm really having a good time."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2204.2,"endTime":2205.64,"body":"This episode is like a real"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2204.2,"endTime":2205.64,"body":"thinker."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2205.79,"endTime":2206.57,"body":"Yeah, I'm thinking a"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2205.79,"endTime":2206.57,"body":"lot."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2206.57,"endTime":2208.1,"body":"It's definitely a lot to"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2206.57,"endTime":2208.1,"body":"think about because it's not"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2208.13,"endTime":2210.89,"body":"it's not something that people"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2208.13,"endTime":2210.89,"body":"think about a lot, you know, and"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2210.89,"endTime":2215.96,"body":"so for me, like, it is my I"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2210.89,"endTime":2215.96,"body":"guess my biggest goal in life,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2215.99,"endTime":2221.57,"body":"aside from like, adopting a lot"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2215.99,"endTime":2221.57,"body":"of kids, is to just educate on"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2221.57,"endTime":2225.02,"body":"this topic, because it is so"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2221.57,"endTime":2225.02,"body":"widely underrepresented and"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2225.05,"endTime":2228.77,"body":"widely unknown, even within the"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2225.05,"endTime":2228.77,"body":"LGBTQIA+ community."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2229.16,"endTime":2230.9,"body":"What I appreciate about"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2229.16,"endTime":2230.9,"body":"what we've been saying Tearza,"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2230.9,"endTime":2233.87,"body":"is you're like, this is where"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2230.9,"endTime":2233.87,"body":"I'm at, this is who I am, this"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2233.87,"endTime":2236.12,"body":"is what I want my life to look"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2233.87,"endTime":2236.12,"body":"like. I'm gonna see how that"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2236.12,"endTime":2236.66,"body":"unfolds."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2236.66,"endTime":2236.96,"body":"Yep."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2237.05,"endTime":2238.91,"body":"It sounds like you. You're"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2237.05,"endTime":2238.91,"body":"not saying Well, I'm Ace"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2238.91,"endTime":2241.94,"body":"therefore XYZ, but this is"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2238.91,"endTime":2241.94,"body":"what's going on. And I want to"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2241.94,"endTime":2243.71,"body":"build this kind of life and"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2241.94,"endTime":2243.71,"body":"we're gonna see how that"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2243.71,"endTime":2244.1,"body":"unfolds."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2244.1,"endTime":2244.37,"body":"Yep."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2244.4,"endTime":2245.87,"body":"Yeah. I feel like"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2244.4,"endTime":2245.87,"body":"that's a healthy outlook."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2245.96,"endTime":2249.23,"body":"So before I came out,"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2245.96,"endTime":2249.23,"body":"there's like this weight on me"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2249.23,"endTime":2251.81,"body":"like it was this huge burden."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2249.23,"endTime":2251.81,"body":"When I came out it was like, I"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2251.81,"endTime":2255.53,"body":"could breathe it was finally"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2251.81,"endTime":2255.53,"body":"like, I could finally talk about"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2255.53,"endTime":2256.79,"body":"it was like this huge relief."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2256.82,"endTime":2257.18,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2257.57,"endTime":2260.72,"body":"What was your experience"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2257.57,"endTime":2260.72,"body":"like when you started coming out"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2260.72,"endTime":2261.68,"body":"to yourself and other people?"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2262.13,"endTime":2265.97,"body":"Um, so from for me, it"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2262.13,"endTime":2265.97,"body":"was it was sort of a similar"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2265.97,"endTime":2270.47,"body":"situation where like, I I felt a"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2265.97,"endTime":2270.47,"body":"lot lighter. Because like I said"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2270.47,"endTime":2274.25,"body":"earlier, like the whole world is"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2270.47,"endTime":2274.25,"body":"like hyper sexualized, like it"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2274.25,"endTime":2277.76,"body":"is in every aspect and a lot of"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2274.25,"endTime":2277.76,"body":"people don't realize it because"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2277.76,"endTime":2279.11,"body":"Even like a Carl's Jr."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2277.76,"endTime":2279.11,"body":"commercial."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2279.11,"endTime":2280.52,"body":"That's what I was just"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2279.11,"endTime":2280.52,"body":"about to say the commercials"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2280.52,"endTime":2282.17,"body":"with like, the women in the"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2280.52,"endTime":2282.17,"body":"bikinis like eating a sandwich."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2282.17,"endTime":2283.79,"body":"I don't, I don't eat at"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2282.17,"endTime":2283.79,"body":"Carl's Jr."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2284.12,"endTime":2284.75,"body":"I also don't eat at"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2284.12,"endTime":2284.75,"body":"Carl's Jr."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2284.75,"endTime":2286.46,"body":"Because I'm like, why"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2284.75,"endTime":2286.46,"body":"are they trying to sell me this"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2286.46,"endTime":2286.97,"body":"like sex-burger."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2287.81,"endTime":2290.06,"body":"It's weird. It makes me"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2287.81,"endTime":2290.06,"body":"feel uncomfortable. But but"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2290.06,"endTime":2292.4,"body":"like, other people are like,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2290.06,"endTime":2292.4,"body":"yeah, I'm gonna go buy that"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2292.4,"endTime":2294.89,"body":"burger. Because that hot girl"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2292.4,"endTime":2294.89,"body":"was eating a burger."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2294.89,"endTime":2297.17,"body":"All the straight guys."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2294.89,"endTime":2297.17,"body":"Maybe if they were shirtless"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2297.17,"endTime":2298.58,"body":"dudes, selling the burgers,"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2297.17,"endTime":2298.58,"body":"maybe."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2301.45,"endTime":2302.29,"body":"Like, I'll have that."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2303.92,"endTime":2307.01,"body":"But like, so like, it"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2303.92,"endTime":2307.01,"body":"is, it is everywhere. And so it"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2307.01,"endTime":2310.73,"body":"just felt like, this whole,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2307.01,"endTime":2310.73,"body":"like, it felt like everything"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2310.73,"endTime":2313.61,"body":"was really oppressive, because I"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2310.73,"endTime":2313.61,"body":"like didn't understand it. And"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2313.61,"endTime":2316.16,"body":"it was like a bombardment. Like,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2313.61,"endTime":2316.16,"body":"everywhere I turned, it was"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2316.16,"endTime":2318.29,"body":"like, and there's sex in this"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2316.16,"endTime":2318.29,"body":"movie. And this song is about"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2318.29,"endTime":2321.65,"body":"like, having sex. And this book"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2318.29,"endTime":2321.65,"body":"has sex in it. And this"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2321.65,"endTime":2324.29,"body":"commercial and this, like, it"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2321.65,"endTime":2324.29,"body":"was everywhere. My friends are"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2324.29,"endTime":2326.39,"body":"talking about it. My parents"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2324.29,"endTime":2326.39,"body":"talk about it every day, like it"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2326.39,"endTime":2330.38,"body":"is everywhere. It just felt like"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2326.39,"endTime":2330.38,"body":"this giant cloud of like, sex"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2330.41,"endTime":2334.22,"body":"just hovering over me. And I was"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2330.41,"endTime":2334.22,"body":"like, why? Why is everyone so"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2334.22,"endTime":2339.95,"body":"obsessed with it? So and so when"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2334.22,"endTime":2339.95,"body":"I tell you why that is. I mean,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2339.98,"endTime":2343.1,"body":"I've done a lot of research"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2339.98,"endTime":2343.1,"body":"science, so I can understand"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2343.1,"endTime":2346.76,"body":"from a theoretical standpoint,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2343.1,"endTime":2346.76,"body":"where people are coming from,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2347.42,"endTime":2352.13,"body":"even if I don't emotionally get"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2347.42,"endTime":2352.13,"body":"it. But when I when I learned"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2352.13,"endTime":2355.73,"body":"the terminology asexual and sort"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2352.13,"endTime":2355.73,"body":"of researched that for myself in"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2355.73,"endTime":2358.82,"body":"came to adopt that for myself,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2355.73,"endTime":2358.82,"body":"it was almost like this, like"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2358.82,"endTime":2361.7,"body":"beam of light sort of just broke"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2358.82,"endTime":2361.7,"body":"through that cloud and was like,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2361.7,"endTime":2365.03,"body":"you're fine, everything's fine."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2361.7,"endTime":2365.03,"body":"And, and it's gonna be okay. And"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2365.03,"endTime":2368.66,"body":"here's all these other like, by"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2365.03,"endTime":2368.66,"body":"finding this community, I was"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2368.66,"endTime":2370.82,"body":"able to find, you know, media"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2368.66,"endTime":2370.82,"body":"and things like that, that"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2370.82,"endTime":2374.54,"body":"didn't center around those types"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2370.82,"endTime":2374.54,"body":"of things, which was like, so"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2374.54,"endTime":2377.24,"body":"nice to like, not be"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2374.54,"endTime":2377.24,"body":"consistently bombarded with"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2377.24,"endTime":2381.83,"body":"these things. So, yeah, I think"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2377.24,"endTime":2381.83,"body":"that it did feel similarly to"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2381.83,"endTime":2384.29,"body":"like, I felt like I was carrying"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2381.83,"endTime":2384.29,"body":"so much like this thing was"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2384.29,"endTime":2387.86,"body":"looming over me. And then when I"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2384.29,"endTime":2387.86,"body":"found out what I was, it was"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2387.86,"endTime":2391.25,"body":"like, ah, yes, the light is here"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2387.86,"endTime":2391.25,"body":"and everything's happy and I"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2391.25,"endTime":2396.95,"body":"don't feel so heavy and like, I"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2391.25,"endTime":2396.95,"body":"feel more at ease with what I've"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2396.95,"endTime":2397.82,"body":"been experiencing."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2398.09,"endTime":2402.59,"body":"What a great visual. I"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2398.09,"endTime":2402.59,"body":"have a question. How or how is"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2402.59,"endTime":2405.77,"body":"or is being asexual different"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2402.59,"endTime":2405.77,"body":"from having a low sex drive."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2406.34,"endTime":2411.35,"body":"So asexuality is just"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2406.34,"endTime":2411.35,"body":"the lack of sexual attraction"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2411.35,"endTime":2415.01,"body":"like it just doesn't exist. A"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2411.35,"endTime":2415.01,"body":"low sex drive can come from a"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2415.01,"endTime":2417.8,"body":"lot of different things. It can"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2415.01,"endTime":2417.8,"body":"come from medications, it can"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2417.8,"endTime":2421.37,"body":"come from different physical"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2417.8,"endTime":2421.37,"body":"afflictions, it can come from"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2421.37,"endTime":2426.32,"body":"just like generally not wanting"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2421.37,"endTime":2426.32,"body":"to have sex. But the main"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2426.32,"endTime":2430.67,"body":"difference between it is that"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2426.32,"endTime":2430.67,"body":"the sexual drive exists. You"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2430.67,"endTime":2432.65,"body":"just don't want to act on it"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2430.67,"endTime":2432.65,"body":"always."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2433.33,"endTime":2435.34,"body":"And then another"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2433.33,"endTime":2435.34,"body":"question also kind of like,"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2435.79,"endTime":2438.58,"body":"provocative, but, I mean, it"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2435.79,"endTime":2438.58,"body":"seems like there's no rules for"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2438.58,"endTime":2443.8,"body":"this interview. If someone's"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2438.58,"endTime":2443.8,"body":"asexual, is it like, safe to"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2443.8,"endTime":2447.4,"body":"assume that they don't struggle"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2443.8,"endTime":2447.4,"body":"with any pornography use?"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2447.69,"endTime":2451.35,"body":"Nope. That is, that is"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2447.69,"endTime":2451.35,"body":"not a safe thing to assume."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2451.5,"endTime":2455.46,"body":"There are asexuals actually who,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2451.5,"endTime":2455.46,"body":"who enjoy having sex, which"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2455.46,"endTime":2458.31,"body":"sounds counterintuitive or"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2455.46,"endTime":2458.31,"body":"counterproductive? Like they"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2458.31,"endTime":2458.49,"body":"don't...."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2458.76,"endTime":2459.69,"body":"Now we're getting"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2458.76,"endTime":2459.69,"body":"somewhere."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2460.74,"endTime":2461.52,"body":"They don't line up."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2461.52,"endTime":2463.11,"body":"This is going to be a"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2461.52,"endTime":2463.11,"body":"long interview."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2464.31,"endTime":2465.9,"body":"Those two things don't"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2464.31,"endTime":2465.9,"body":"sound like they should be able"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2465.9,"endTime":2469.32,"body":"to coexist together, but they do"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2465.9,"endTime":2469.32,"body":"because you can engage in the"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2469.32,"endTime":2473.97,"body":"physical sex or physical act of"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2469.32,"endTime":2473.97,"body":"sex without having the sexual"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2473.97,"endTime":2475.65,"body":"drive, if that makes sense."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2475.99,"endTime":2478.63,"body":"I think I would like"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2475.99,"endTime":2478.63,"body":"you to explain that more."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2478.69,"endTime":2479.2,"body":"Right. Okay."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2479.2,"endTime":2479.59,"body":"I'm sorry."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2479.59,"endTime":2481.36,"body":"I have like a metaphor that"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2479.59,"endTime":2481.36,"body":"might not work."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2481.36,"endTime":2481.81,"body":"Sure."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2481.84,"endTime":2484.69,"body":"So is it kind of like"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2481.84,"endTime":2484.69,"body":"eating vegetables?"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2484.93,"endTime":2488.11,"body":"Right. I was gonna say"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2484.93,"endTime":2488.11,"body":"eating doughnuts. Vegetables"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2488.11,"endTime":2491.44,"body":"works. So like, okay, let's say"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2488.11,"endTime":2491.44,"body":"that you get to work one day,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2491.44,"endTime":2493.9,"body":"and there's a spread of"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2491.44,"endTime":2493.9,"body":"doughnuts there. And everyone's"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2493.9,"endTime":2495.91,"body":"like, heck, yeah, I love donuts."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2496.72,"endTime":2497.26,"body":"I love donuts."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2497.29,"endTime":2498.31,"body":"I'm super into it."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2498.34,"endTime":2500.26,"body":"An old fashioned donut? A"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2498.34,"endTime":2500.26,"body":"maple bar with bacon?"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2500.38,"endTime":2503.59,"body":"Yes, yes, give me all"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2500.38,"endTime":2503.59,"body":"the donuts or like any any. And"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2503.59,"endTime":2505.6,"body":"then there's some people who"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2503.59,"endTime":2505.6,"body":"were like, I only like glazed"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2505.63,"endTime":2507.4,"body":"doughnuts. And there's some"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2505.63,"endTime":2507.4,"body":"people who were like, I'll take"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2507.4,"endTime":2509.68,"body":"any donut on the spread. And"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2507.4,"endTime":2509.68,"body":"there's some people who were"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2509.68,"endTime":2513.64,"body":"like, I will take sprinkled, or"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2509.68,"endTime":2513.64,"body":"not sprinkled, but those are the"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2513.64,"endTime":2516.37,"body":"only two that I'll take. And"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2513.64,"endTime":2516.37,"body":"then if you're asexual, it's"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2516.37,"endTime":2519.94,"body":"like, um, I don't really want a"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2516.37,"endTime":2519.94,"body":"donut. But then there's some"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2519.97,"endTime":2522.79,"body":"some asexual who are like, you"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2519.97,"endTime":2522.79,"body":"know, I'll eat the doughnut if"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2522.79,"endTime":2525.31,"body":"it's there. But like, I'm not"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2522.79,"endTime":2525.31,"body":"gonna go out of my way to"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2525.31,"endTime":2529.33,"body":"purchase the doughnut, or like,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2525.31,"endTime":2529.33,"body":"go acquire it myself. But like,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2529.33,"endTime":2531.73,"body":"if it's offered to me, then"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2529.33,"endTime":2531.73,"body":"like, sure I'll partake in the"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2531.73,"endTime":2534.82,"body":"donut. And then there's some who"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2531.73,"endTime":2534.82,"body":"are like, I'm offended that"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2534.82,"endTime":2538.0,"body":"these donuts are even in the"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2534.82,"endTime":2538.0,"body":"room with me right now. So,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2538.3,"endTime":2543.4,"body":"it's, it is definitely a"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2538.3,"endTime":2543.4,"body":"spectrum. I keep coming back to"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2543.4,"endTime":2547.3,"body":"that because I think out of all"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2543.4,"endTime":2547.3,"body":"of the different facets of the"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2547.3,"endTime":2553.0,"body":"queer community, asexuality is"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2547.3,"endTime":2553.0,"body":"the most diverse in in, like"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2553.09,"endTime":2556.24,"body":"levels of attraction and who"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2553.09,"endTime":2556.24,"body":"you're attracted to, and taking"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2556.24,"endTime":2559.24,"body":"into account different sexual"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2556.24,"endTime":2559.24,"body":"versus romantic versus platonic."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2559.27,"endTime":2562.15,"body":"Well, I feel I feel"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2559.27,"endTime":2562.15,"body":"like it has the from listening"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2562.15,"endTime":2565.63,"body":"to you, I feel like it has the"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2562.15,"endTime":2565.63,"body":"least amount of orientation not"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2565.63,"endTime":2568.21,"body":"not not in the word of like"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2565.63,"endTime":2568.21,"body":"sexual orientation, but like,"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2568.45,"endTime":2570.43,"body":"like knowing where to start."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2570.48,"endTime":2571.44,"body":"Sure. Sure."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2571.44,"endTime":2571.92,"body":"That makes sense."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2571.95,"endTime":2574.56,"body":"Yeah, absolutely."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2571.95,"endTime":2574.56,"body":"Because you can have asexuals"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2574.56,"endTime":2579.06,"body":"who are gay, you can have"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2574.56,"endTime":2579.06,"body":"asexuals who are bi romantically"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2579.06,"endTime":2583.38,"body":"right?. And so it is such a you"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2579.06,"endTime":2583.38,"body":"you take all these other aspects"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2583.38,"endTime":2587.43,"body":"of the queer community and can"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2583.38,"endTime":2587.43,"body":"sort of insert them into the ACE"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2587.43,"endTime":2589.14,"body":"community. It's wild. So it's"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2587.43,"endTime":2589.14,"body":"wild."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2589.35,"endTime":2591.87,"body":"the way someone looks"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2589.35,"endTime":2591.87,"body":"less important."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2592.56,"endTime":2598.38,"body":"It depends on it depends"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2592.56,"endTime":2598.38,"body":"on the ACE person. So for me, I"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2599.1,"endTime":2602.1,"body":"am able to recognize when people"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2599.1,"endTime":2602.1,"body":"are like, aesthetically"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2602.1,"endTime":2605.46,"body":"attractive to me. I have ACE"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2602.1,"endTime":2605.46,"body":"friends who like cannot like"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2605.46,"endTime":2608.79,"body":"they're like, I cannot like that"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2605.46,"endTime":2608.79,"body":"that person is hot. Oh, okay."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2609.57,"endTime":2612.96,"body":"Sure, because you said so not"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2609.57,"endTime":2612.96,"body":"because I recognize that, you"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2612.96,"endTime":2613.14,"body":"know."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2613.56,"endTime":2615.3,"body":"Tt's almost like it"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2613.56,"endTime":2615.3,"body":"needs empirical evidence."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2615.33,"endTime":2617.58,"body":"Yeah. Yeah. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2617.61,"endTime":2620.7,"body":"Okay. And we kind of"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2617.61,"endTime":2620.7,"body":"got sidetracked. I want to ask"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2620.7,"endTime":2622.56,"body":"you again, about about"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2620.7,"endTime":2622.56,"body":"pornography, because I'm just"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2622.56,"endTime":2625.35,"body":"trying to like, understand why"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2622.56,"endTime":2625.35,"body":"someone who's revolted, like"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2625.35,"endTime":2628.8,"body":"repulsed by sex, would engage in"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2625.35,"endTime":2628.8,"body":"viewing pornography."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2628.0,"endTime":2631.69,"body":"Not all asexuals are"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2628.0,"endTime":2631.69,"body":"repulsed by sex, though that's"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2631.69,"endTime":2634.45,"body":"the thing. So there are"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2631.69,"endTime":2634.45,"body":"definitely sex repulsed,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2635.02,"endTime":2637.15,"body":"asexuals those are the people"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2635.02,"endTime":2637.15,"body":"who are like, I'm offended that"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2637.15,"endTime":2640.15,"body":"this donut is even in the room"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2637.15,"endTime":2640.15,"body":"with me right now. But then"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2640.15,"endTime":2642.34,"body":"there's also asexuals who are"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2640.15,"endTime":2642.34,"body":"like, I'm perfectly fine with"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2642.34,"endTime":2644.71,"body":"you talking to me about it. I am"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2642.34,"endTime":2644.71,"body":"one of those I'm like, I am"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2644.74,"endTime":2647.38,"body":"super sex positive for other"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2644.74,"endTime":2647.38,"body":"people. I'm like, if if it's"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2647.38,"endTime":2650.65,"body":"between two consenting adults,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2647.38,"endTime":2650.65,"body":"go crazy live your life, you"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2650.65,"endTime":2655.75,"body":"know. So I think it depends on"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2650.65,"endTime":2655.75,"body":"where you again, where you fall"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2655.75,"endTime":2658.06,"body":"on the spectrum and and there"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2655.75,"endTime":2658.06,"body":"are some people who are sex"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2658.06,"endTime":2661.54,"body":"positive asexual who do"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2658.06,"endTime":2661.54,"body":"participate in sex and there are"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2661.54,"endTime":2664.84,"body":"some sex positive asexual who"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2661.54,"endTime":2664.84,"body":"don't participate in sex like"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2664.84,"endTime":2669.25,"body":"myself. And so just because you"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2664.84,"endTime":2669.25,"body":"are asexual doesn't mean you"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2669.79,"endTime":2673.12,"body":"your brain like the the sort of"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2669.79,"endTime":2673.12,"body":"when you watch pornography, you"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2673.12,"endTime":2676.96,"body":"know, there's a physiological"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2673.12,"endTime":2676.96,"body":"sort of an a mental response"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2676.96,"endTime":2681.25,"body":"and, and that can happen with"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2676.96,"endTime":2681.25,"body":"anybody whether you are sexually"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2681.25,"endTime":2682.84,"body":"attracted to somebody or not."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2683.11,"endTime":2685.39,"body":"Okay. That was a good"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2683.11,"endTime":2685.39,"body":"explanation."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2684.22,"endTime":2688.63,"body":"Now, does that make"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2684.22,"endTime":2688.63,"body":"sense?"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2687.13,"endTime":2692.2,"body":"So what can we do as"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2687.13,"endTime":2692.2,"body":"like an asexual ally? Like what"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2692.2,"endTime":2696.4,"body":"support is needed? Like how can"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2692.2,"endTime":2696.4,"body":"I help you feel like more"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2696.4,"endTime":2699.82,"body":"included? Just in like, General,"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2696.4,"endTime":2699.82,"body":"I don't know."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2699.87,"endTime":2704.64,"body":"Yeah, I think for me is,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2699.87,"endTime":2704.64,"body":"is not pushing the narrative"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2704.64,"endTime":2709.05,"body":"that you need somebody in your"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2704.64,"endTime":2709.05,"body":"life to be happy. Because"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2709.05,"endTime":2712.38,"body":"there's a lot of asexuals who"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2709.05,"endTime":2712.38,"body":"are perfectly fine being on"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2712.38,"endTime":2715.71,"body":"their own. And I said that I"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2712.38,"endTime":2715.71,"body":"would like to find a spouse"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2715.71,"endTime":2718.23,"body":"someday but I'm, I'm content"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2715.71,"endTime":2718.23,"body":"where I am right now, I think"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2718.23,"endTime":2723.0,"body":"I'm in a very good spot, being"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2718.23,"endTime":2723.0,"body":"single. Not to say that I"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2723.0,"endTime":2725.64,"body":"wouldn't like to open my heart"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2723.0,"endTime":2725.64,"body":"in my life to another person"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2725.64,"endTime":2728.01,"body":"someday. But there are some"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2725.64,"endTime":2728.01,"body":"asexuals who don't want to do"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2728.01,"endTime":2732.15,"body":"that at all. And living in a"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2728.01,"endTime":2732.15,"body":"world where that type of"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2732.6,"endTime":2737.19,"body":"relationship is so stressed and"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2732.6,"endTime":2737.19,"body":"so like, this is the goal that"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2737.19,"endTime":2741.09,"body":"you need to be reaching for it"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2737.19,"endTime":2741.09,"body":"can be it can be hard and can"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2741.09,"endTime":2744.33,"body":"feel very isolating. So I think"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2741.09,"endTime":2744.33,"body":"that just sort of stressing"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2744.33,"endTime":2746.67,"body":"that, like, other types of"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2744.33,"endTime":2746.67,"body":"relationships are equally as"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2746.67,"endTime":2749.49,"body":"important as like romantic and"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2746.67,"endTime":2749.49,"body":"sexual relationships. So like,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2749.67,"endTime":2751.74,"body":"platonic relationships,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2749.67,"endTime":2751.74,"body":"friendships and things like that"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2751.74,"endTime":2754.77,"body":"those can be equally as"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2751.74,"endTime":2754.77,"body":"fulfilling as as a marital"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2754.77,"endTime":2758.07,"body":"relationship or like a romantic"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2754.77,"endTime":2758.07,"body":"relationship with somebody,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2758.43,"endTime":2761.28,"body":"pushing that narrative would be"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2758.43,"endTime":2761.28,"body":"very helpful."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2761.66,"endTime":2763.64,"body":"So you want to see a"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2761.66,"endTime":2763.64,"body":"romantic comedy where someone"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2763.64,"endTime":2764.87,"body":"learns to just love themselves?"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2764.93,"endTime":2765.68,"body":"Absolutely."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2765.71,"endTime":2766.52,"body":"In a hilarious way."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2766.55,"endTime":2767.39,"body":"Absolutely I do."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2767.66,"endTime":2768.92,"body":"With all kinds of"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2767.66,"endTime":2768.92,"body":"misunderstandings."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2768.95,"endTime":2769.22,"body":"100%."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2770.33,"endTime":2772.25,"body":"As you're talking about,"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2770.33,"endTime":2772.25,"body":"you know, let's not we have to"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2772.25,"endTime":2774.71,"body":"push this narrative, everyone"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2772.25,"endTime":2774.71,"body":"needs some one. One of the first"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2774.71,"endTime":2777.5,"body":"like negative emails we got"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2774.71,"endTime":2777.5,"body":"about the podcast with someone"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2777.5,"endTime":2780.02,"body":"who actually listened to our"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2777.5,"endTime":2780.02,"body":"episode of Should I stay"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2780.02,"endTime":2784.79,"body":"celibate, and single? We had"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2780.02,"endTime":2784.79,"body":"said something about, like, you"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2784.79,"endTime":2786.47,"body":"know, we're not robots and..."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2786.5,"endTime":2787.91,"body":"Like, it's natural."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2786.5,"endTime":2787.91,"body":"It's human."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2787.94,"endTime":2790.07,"body":"Right. Like, like, like,"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2787.94,"endTime":2790.07,"body":"humans want to have"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2790.07,"endTime":2793.19,"body":"relationships. This person wrote"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2790.07,"endTime":2793.19,"body":"and was like, Well, I'm a human,"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2793.19,"endTime":2796.37,"body":"and I'm not a robot, and I'm"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2793.19,"endTime":2796.37,"body":"just and I'm just not interested"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2796.37,"endTime":2798.32,"body":"in having that experience. And,"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2796.37,"endTime":2798.32,"body":"and that was really eye opening"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2798.32,"endTime":2801.86,"body":"to me that I, I was generalizing"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2798.32,"endTime":2801.86,"body":"my experience too much."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2801.9,"endTime":2804.93,"body":"Sure. Yeah, I definitely"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2801.9,"endTime":2804.93,"body":"think that it's not wrong to"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2804.93,"endTime":2806.79,"body":"want this type of relationships."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2804.93,"endTime":2806.79,"body":"I think that that's a super"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2806.79,"endTime":2809.28,"body":"great goal to want to have. But"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2806.79,"endTime":2809.28,"body":"I also think that it's not wrong"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2809.28,"endTime":2812.76,"body":"to not want that. And I think"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2809.28,"endTime":2812.76,"body":"that the flip side is not really"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2812.76,"endTime":2816.6,"body":"discussed enough. So sort of"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2812.76,"endTime":2816.6,"body":"putting that narrative and, and,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2816.63,"endTime":2820.14,"body":"and making it acceptable to not"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2816.63,"endTime":2820.14,"body":"want that, I think would be very"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2820.14,"endTime":2820.8,"body":"helpful."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2821.07,"endTime":2823.65,"body":"Well Tearza, thank you"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2821.07,"endTime":2823.65,"body":"so much for coming on. We were"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2823.68,"endTime":2826.32,"body":"pretty much perfect strangers"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2823.68,"endTime":2826.32,"body":"before this, but I think you're"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2826.32,"endTime":2828.0,"body":"really cool. I'd love to hang"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2826.32,"endTime":2828.0,"body":"out with you."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2828.7,"endTime":2830.2,"body":"Let's hang out, let's"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2828.7,"endTime":2830.2,"body":"let's grab lunch."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2830.36,"endTime":2832.4,"body":"I feel like I've"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2830.36,"endTime":2832.4,"body":"learned so much. And I always"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2832.4,"endTime":2834.74,"body":"love when I'm talking to someone"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2832.4,"endTime":2834.74,"body":"and they make me feel like"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2834.8,"endTime":2838.07,"body":"ignorant. Because it just like"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2834.8,"endTime":2838.07,"body":"means I'm gonna learn something."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2839.15,"endTime":2841.04,"body":"I'm gonna help it make"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2839.15,"endTime":2841.04,"body":"you feel ignorant by any means."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2841.04,"endTime":2843.08,"body":"You know, I like it,"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2841.04,"endTime":2843.08,"body":"though, like ignorant, not in a"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2843.08,"endTime":2845.72,"body":"bad way. But and you're in the"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2843.08,"endTime":2845.72,"body":"way of like, I want to be more"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2845.72,"endTime":2848.63,"body":"educated, like something I have"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2845.72,"endTime":2848.63,"body":"much exposure to and like thank"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2848.63,"endTime":2851.81,"body":"you for being open and willing"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2848.63,"endTime":2851.81,"body":"to talk about some things and"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2852.08,"endTime":2855.35,"body":"answering some of our questions"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2852.08,"endTime":2855.35,"body":"that you're probably like, why"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2855.35,"endTime":2856.4,"body":"do people always ask me this?"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2856.88,"endTime":2860.12,"body":"Not at all. Not at all."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2856.88,"endTime":2860.12,"body":"I like to make myself open and"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2860.12,"endTime":2862.64,"body":"available for these types of"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2860.12,"endTime":2862.64,"body":"conversations, just because I"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2862.64,"endTime":2865.85,"body":"think that it is so important to"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2862.64,"endTime":2865.85,"body":"spread this type of education. A"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2865.85,"endTime":2868.1,"body":"lot of asexuals don't like"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2865.85,"endTime":2868.1,"body":"getting these questions. And I'm"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2868.1,"endTime":2870.29,"body":"like, give them all to me. I'll"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2868.1,"endTime":2870.29,"body":"tell you everything about my"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2870.29,"endTime":2873.89,"body":"experience, because I personally"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2870.29,"endTime":2873.89,"body":"think that if I had had somebody"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2873.89,"endTime":2876.38,"body":"like this, when I was younger,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2873.89,"endTime":2876.38,"body":"it would have helped me"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2876.65,"endTime":2879.95,"body":"exponentially in figuring out"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2876.65,"endTime":2879.95,"body":"who I was and what I wanted in"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2879.95,"endTime":2880.43,"body":"life. So..."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2880.52,"endTime":2882.56,"body":"Yeah, and I feel like"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2880.52,"endTime":2882.56,"body":"it's also just another testament"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2882.56,"endTime":2886.25,"body":"to like, move in and get to know"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2882.56,"endTime":2886.25,"body":"somebody, like if you have"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2886.25,"endTime":2889.46,"body":"questions about someone's"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2886.25,"endTime":2889.46,"body":"identity or orientation, and it"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2889.46,"endTime":2891.65,"body":"doesn't make sense to you, or if"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2889.46,"endTime":2891.65,"body":"it offends you or makes you"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2891.65,"endTime":2894.35,"body":"uncomfortable. Like, the more"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2891.65,"endTime":2894.35,"body":"you get to see a human as a"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2894.35,"endTime":2898.16,"body":"human. Like, there's so much"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2894.35,"endTime":2898.16,"body":"like unity and strength building"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2898.16,"endTime":2900.83,"body":"there. And thank you for for"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2898.16,"endTime":2900.83,"body":"giving us that opportunity"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2900.83,"endTime":2901.13,"body":"today."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2901.99,"endTime":2904.81,"body":"And you said you answer"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2901.99,"endTime":2904.81,"body":"questions on your Instagram."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2904.81,"endTime":2906.04,"body":"Yeah, on my Instagram, I"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2904.81,"endTime":2906.04,"body":"do..."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2906.04,"endTime":2906.91,"body":"How do people find you?"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2907.33,"endTime":2909.85,"body":"So my Instagram handle"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2907.33,"endTime":2909.85,"body":"is just my first and middle"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2909.85,"endTime":2917.41,"body":"name. So it's @tearzaleigh. It's"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2909.85,"endTime":2917.41,"body":"a wild name so thanks, Mom and"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2917.41,"endTime":2923.77,"body":"Dad. But yeah, I do, I usually"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2917.41,"endTime":2923.77,"body":"host a q\u0026a every ACE week, which"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2923.77,"endTime":2927.7,"body":"is usually the second the third"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2923.77,"endTime":2927.7,"body":"week in October every year. So I"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2927.7,"endTime":2930.49,"body":"do one yearly. But maybe I'll"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2927.7,"endTime":2930.49,"body":"start doing them a little bit"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2930.49,"endTime":2933.16,"body":"more often. Maybe I'll do one"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2930.49,"endTime":2933.16,"body":"like monthly or I have them"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2933.16,"endTime":2935.23,"body":"saved as sort of highlights on"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2933.16,"endTime":2935.23,"body":"my Instagram story. So if you"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2935.23,"endTime":2939.34,"body":"want to go on my Instagram story"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2935.23,"endTime":2939.34,"body":"on my page, so if you want to,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2939.37,"endTime":2943.21,"body":"you know, check those out. I've"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2939.37,"endTime":2943.21,"body":"got a ton of questions that I've"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2943.21,"endTime":2945.76,"body":"answered on there. But yeah,"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2943.21,"endTime":2945.76,"body":"maybe, maybe I'll start doing"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2945.76,"endTime":2946.87,"body":"them a little bit more often."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2946.87,"endTime":2949.24,"body":"Well, out of our dozens of"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2946.87,"endTime":2949.24,"body":"followers, I'm sure one or two"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2949.0,"endTime":2954.04,"body":"And you can be modest"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2949.0,"endTime":2954.04,"body":"we the podcast is growing really"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2949.24,"endTime":2949.78,"body":"will check you out."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2954.04,"endTime":2960.01,"body":"well. And if you are a follower"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2954.04,"endTime":2960.01,"body":"and listener, please share. I'm"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2960.01,"endTime":2962.89,"body":"like growth, growth, growth. We"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2960.01,"endTime":2962.89,"body":"need more listeners."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2962.95,"endTime":2965.38,"body":"Yeah, but but seriously,"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2962.95,"endTime":2965.38,"body":"seriously, thank you for coming"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2965.38,"endTime":2965.59,"body":"on."},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2965.59,"endTime":2967.51,"body":"Thank you. Thank you so"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2965.59,"endTime":2967.51,"body":"much for having me. I really"},{"speaker":"Tearza","startTime":2967.51,"endTime":2968.14,"body":"appreciate it."},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2969.34,"endTime":2971.32,"body":"Thank you for joining"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2969.34,"endTime":2971.32,"body":"us today. If you have enjoyed"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2971.32,"endTime":2974.08,"body":"this or other episodes, please"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2971.32,"endTime":2974.08,"body":"consider leaving a review. And"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2974.08,"endTime":2976.36,"body":"as always, please remember that"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2974.08,"endTime":2976.36,"body":"we do not represent the Church"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2976.36,"endTime":2978.43,"body":"of Jesus Christ of Latter-day"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2976.36,"endTime":2978.43,"body":"Saints or Brigham Young"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2978.43,"endTime":2981.04,"body":"University. We're not trying to"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2978.43,"endTime":2981.04,"body":"be prescriptive or tell anyone"},{"speaker":"Charlie","startTime":2981.04,"endTime":2982.15,"body":"what to think or what to do."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2982.6,"endTime":2984.34,"body":"You heard three"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2982.6,"endTime":2984.34,"body":"perspectives and there are many,"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2984.34,"endTime":2986.89,"body":"many more, we encourage you to"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2984.34,"endTime":2986.89,"body":"listen to other voices and hear"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2986.89,"endTime":2989.29,"body":"a wide variety of experiences."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2986.89,"endTime":2989.29,"body":"If you'd like to submit a"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2989.29,"endTime":2991.63,"body":"question or share a comment"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2989.29,"endTime":2991.63,"body":"about today's episode, you can"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2991.63,"endTime":2993.76,"body":"email us at"},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2991.63,"endTime":2993.76,"body":"questionsfromthecloset@gmail.com."},{"speaker":"Ben","startTime":2994.6,"endTime":2995.35,"body":"Until next time."}]}