5 Tips for Creating a Youth Ministry You'll Love to Lead

What if you could shape your youth ministry into an environment that sparks real joy in your life?  In this episode, we walk you through five tips that can help you build a student ministry that surrounds you with a team that supports and fuels your passion.  We also shed light on how to innovate your youth group into a more engaging experience for everyone involved.  Self-care is the backbone of your ministry and neglecting that can have a negative affect on everyone.  Most importantly, we share how you can create an atmosphere that is full of fun, energy and authenticity.  It's time to build a youth ministry that brings you, your leaders and your students joy and fulfillment.

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You may also enjoy these episodes:

(#071) Youth Ministry Overnighter - Fun Lock-in Games & Theme Idea

(#041) Service Project Ideas for Student Ministry

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

It would be horrible to dread going to your own youth ministry every single week, because youth ministry is too hard sometimes to do with people you don't really want to be with, because then it's lonely. Then who do you have? You're just a lone wolf and you're gonna burn out. Are there things that are in your control that you can change, that you can alter, so that you come excited and you are your best self? Today we're talking about five tips for creating a youth ministry that you'll love to leave.

Speaker 2: 0:39

Welcome to the Ministry Coach podcast, where we bring you weekly tips and tactics to help you fast track the growth and health of your youth ministry.

Speaker 1: 0:54

My name is Jeff Lascola and this is Kristen Lascola, and today we are talking about tips for creating a youth ministry that you actually love, because you're there too. We want to build a place that you don't just tolerate, but a place that you really look forward to going, because so many of our tips on this podcast we are trying to keep you in the youth ministry game for as long as possible. Obviously, it can't be designed 100% around all of your preferences, but what it really can do is have your DNA in it, so it's a place where you feel at home, you're leading from a natural spot and you're looking forward to going. It would be horrible to dread going to your own youth ministry every single week and we can't control every factor, but there are some factors that we can control, and that's what we're going to talk about today. Number one you should really look forward to seeing your team each week. These should be people that you enjoy being with, and here's the thing Don't forget you're the gatekeeper of who is on your team and who is not.

Speaker 1: 2:20

I think back in the day, a long, long time ago, when I first started youth ministry, I almost thought like I owed it to anyone who was interested for a shot on my team and I just thought, if I don't particularly like you or you rub me the wrong way or we don't have chemistry, I kind of just thought, well, that's my problem, and it's across to bear and I shall. And I remember pulling up to the church a long, long time ago and there's certain cars I would see in the parking lot and I just was like no Was it my car.

Speaker 1: 3:02

Its name was Jeff and I can't get rid of him. But really, like that feeling of dread, I just oh, I never want to go back there. And I remember it was one of our senior pastors. I was complaining about one of my staff members and I was just saying, oh my gosh, this and this and this. And he's like so, let him go. I'm like I can't, why not, it's your ministry. I'm like you can't just like let a volunteer go because you don't like him. He goes. Yeah, I can. You have to work with them, so pick people you like working with. And it was like so, matter of fact, like yeah, you can, you're in charge, moving on, do whatever you want. I was like I have the power, you know, because I really did think like, okay, you can help. Okay, I don't really think you're a good fit, but I'm too scared to tell you know, and a great strategy is just saying hey, I don't know if this is the best fit for you. Can I help you find another place to serve?

Speaker 1: 4:04

We have a lot of needs at our church and I think you might be better suited for this, you know. So it's not like you're telling them no, you're just saying hey, I think you might be a better fit here and will a feeling get hurt. Maybe they'll be able to see through that. But I would not trade that for anything like the feeling of coming in and loving who's there. And now you see cars in the parking lot. You're like heck yeah, heck yeah, heck, yeah.

Speaker 1: 4:32

Let's do this, because then, even on your hardest nights of youth ministry, at least you have your buddies you know, and that's how I feel, but on the hardest nights of youth ministry, when it's like man, we had a lot of discipline issues. Man, this game didn't go well. Oh no, we called it an ambulance because some kid tried to do the whip and the nene off the stage. True story had to call the ambulance. He didn't mean to fall off the stage, he whipped he nene and he fell and it was terrible. There's blood everywhere. On those nights you want your friends around you, but when you look around and you really don't even have like a friend or a partner, yeah sometimes I feel like I don't have a friend.

Speaker 1: 5:17

Isn't that red hot chili peppers?

Speaker 2: 5:19

yeah, something like that. So it's close. Yeah, you know it in the genre potato, potato.

Speaker 1: 5:24

But you know that feeling of like at least we've got each other and a shoulder to cry on. And I remember one night I had a really awful night at youth ministry. I was feeling really sick. This was back when my heart was doing all kinds of weird things and I started freaking out and one of my ride or die leaders she just sat with me for like an hour and a half, waited for my heart to come down, like it was like all these palpitations and I was like freaking out.

Speaker 1: 5:54

And she just sat with me and made me laugh or was quiet when we need to be quiet, like you just need people who love you, people who you love, because youth ministry is too hard sometimes to do with people you don't really want to be with, because then it's lonely. Then who do you have? You know if the students are mean or giving you a hard time, and then the leaders you don't have any chemistry with them. You're just a lone wolf and you're gonna burn out, you know. So if you want to create a youth ministry you love, put people you love on the team. I'm not saying they all have to be totally like.

Speaker 1: 6:33

Well, I just wouldn't see myself like going on vacation with them like it doesn't have to be those kind of people, but people from all walks of life that you can genuinely love and see their car in the parking lot and be like yes.

Speaker 2: 6:47

Yeah, I can't wait to see. So you mentioned guarding that gate, you know, and who you let onto your team. Is the same kind of strategy true for people that either you inherited because they were there before you, right? Or maybe you thought, well, sure, this person seems fine, you let them on and it's just like, ok, this is obviously not a good fit. Is that same strategy the one you'd use?

Speaker 1: 7:08

Yeah, like if it's people you inherited. That's tough. I mean you could try to. If they're not your cup of tea, you might have to just suck that one up and be like, well, we're going to have to play nice together, and you know it's never going to be 100 percent, but it could be. The here's what I found If there's one or two that are not your favorite, as long as the other side outweighs that, it's usually OK. If there's one or two that are just like OK, we don't really click whatever. If you've got your people, though, they'll. That momentum will be enough for you.

Speaker 1: 7:50

I mean, that's how I've found it to be in my youth ministry of. I just need enough people I'm excited about.

Speaker 2: 7:57

And sometimes that momentum will carry over and they'll kind of maybe pull that person into that scene. Yeah, it can switch.

Speaker 1: 8:05

Yeah, there's people who, when they come on, you're like I've made a huge, tiny mistake. Oh no, and then they could grow on you. Yeah, there's been people that I was like, all right, not quite sure, and this is a rocky start, and they maybe a year later it takes a while. They really surprised me of like heck, yeah, you have it in you. So, anyways, number two do events that you like or modify the event so that you will like it. I've done both. So I've tried a lot of events and I have my 12, one per year, or, sorry, one per month, I do one.

Speaker 2: 8:45

It takes a while to go through them.

Speaker 1: 8:46

One event per year, that's all I do and I love it that way.

Speaker 1: 8:49

That's why I love my youth ministry. I've whittled it down to my best 12. I do one a month each year and then I modify those events so that I enjoy them Again. It's not all about me, I'm just saying, for example I've mentioned this before we would do an all nighter. Maybe for you that's a lock in, but we would go out, we'd get on a bus and we went from a pool to a bowling alley, to an ice rink, to a laser tag, to a trampoline, and all of a sudden the sun came up and then their parents picked them up. We never slept, we just kept going from event to event. I hated it and it honestly, those are the things that would make me think.

Speaker 1: 9:28

I don't know if I meant for youth ministry, because I will do anything not to have to do this again, and it's only one event a year, but it was low enough that it would be. Yeah, it's time to switch gears. I can't, I would dread it. So I changed it so that I can continue to do my job with a smile on my face. And it's called the all overnighter. So I take them to three different locations. We get back to the church, nice and late for junior hires around one 30,. We eat pizza and they're in bed by two, two, 30. And it's still. You guys were out like wild people. Woo, you know living it up.

Speaker 2: 10:09

Sometimes you have to almost keep them from themselves because you think you want to stay up all night and by the time it starts hitting that 3am you're like, you're like, exactly.

Speaker 1: 10:20

Why are we here we?

Speaker 2: 10:20

just went to you know the whatever miniature golf place and no one's playing at your all half asleep or asleep.

Speaker 1: 10:27

Yes.

Speaker 2: 10:27

I was like, so what's the point? It was more the idea like look at us, we're so cool.

Speaker 1: 10:31

We went out all night. So for me, just going back to the church and having some downtime, quiet time, pretending they're going to sleep, I went to sleep, you know we separated boys and girls. I put in some white noise on my headphones and I said if you need me, Whatever happens happens.

Speaker 1: 10:52

You can wake me up but I am going, I'm not gonna supervise you, I'm going to sleep and you know we have security and we lock the doors and all that stuff, so they're perfectly safe. But I'm not gonna pace the floor all night long looking and like, what are you doing? So that's how I can continue to do this event with a smile on my face. Another modification I did was for our 30 hour famine. Our kids are really good at raising the money. Well, I'm running the event. So I tried to fast and I got a headache and I was grumpy and I was nauseous and I didn't want to talk to any junior hires. So I just decided I'm coming and my contribution is I'm running this event. I'm not gonna fast with you guys. You're raising the money for fasting. I am here to facilitate, so I would like to be in a good mood and I'm not going to fast with you. Sounds kind of ah, you're making them fast Like no cause. They're raising the money.

Speaker 2: 11:48

Like they have sponsors. And that's a really late night event too.

Speaker 1: 11:52

Yes, that one. We usually go to bed around 2, 230. And I mean I'm already sleeping on the floor in a kindergarten classroom and have been going all night running around doing all kinds of stuff, so I'm like I'm gonna eat and I'll cheer you on.

Speaker 2: 12:09

I think I did the same thing. I think I did one year where I did the fast and then I thought the same thing. I thought I'm not at my A game right now and I need to be Right.

Speaker 1: 12:18

And so what does it take? And maybe, for I know the junior high pastor at one of our other campuses. Every single year he fasts with the kids and he's a happy guy. He's happy while he does it.

Speaker 2: 12:29

Food and sleep. I do two things I can't mess with.

Speaker 1: 12:31

Same, and so I mean fasting. I mean that's for another conversation. I'm not saying it doesn't have any spirit. This wasn't for spiritual, for my it was like to be supportive and so it's like, okay, well, if I'm gonna fast, I'm gonna do it in a more private setting for myself and the Lord not try to fight the crankiness when I'm with 300 junior hires at this event.

Speaker 1: 12:56

So things, little tweaks like that keep me going. It's like, oh well, now I know I don't have to think about food the whole time and be cranky and all that.

Speaker 1: 13:06

Or I don't have to wish I was in my bed and sleeping and that we weren't at an ice skating rink at 4am, so I can keep the good parts of the event not throwing the baby out with the bathwater. But I stay happy, I stay in the game and I realize I can keep doing this. I just have to change a couple of things so I'm not miserable.

Speaker 1: 13:25

And I think that's okay. I don't know what those are for you, but make sure you modify the events that you do. Maybe you inherited events from another youth pastor, but modify them so that you can tolerate them. You are, as our senior pastor says, you're the most important person in your youth ministry. Like you, are the hub of the vibe, of the energy, of the spiritual You're. You know it emanates from you.

Speaker 2: 13:52

So, you being healthy and happy and in sound minds In sound mind.

Speaker 1: 13:58

yeah is a big deal, all right. Number three teach what you are passionate about from the Bible, obviously.

Speaker 2: 14:08

I'm passionate about Doxons.

Speaker 1: 14:10

So there's German doxons, there's English doxons. Now, here's the difference. There's smooth, there's cream there's wired the word doxon means badgerhound in German.

Speaker 1: 14:21

Like, okay, we all have things we want to teach about, but what I a mistake I made early on was I love certain curriculums but what I would do is I would follow them too closely and I would think, okay, well, this week I have to talk about how to be a good friend. I don't know the mood to teach about how to be a good friend. I want to teach about that, you know. And it was hard to teach something I didn't feel passionate about passionately and I was bored to death. And I'm sure it made them bored because it wasn't coming from a speaker who had really grasped onto this material and could communicate it in a way that came from my heart and my mind and experience. It was just something that was a good topic but just not resonating with me right then.

Speaker 1: 15:12

So I've noticed I get really excited and it has to be on their level. So recently, I think I shared a couple episodes ago, we did an episode or a series called One Minute After you Die. It's from Life Church so you can just go get it. It's for free on the internet. Lifechurchcomtv can't remember Church Resources. One Minute After you Die it's an adult series that I modified for students and it talks about heaven and hell and who goes where and the judgment and all of these very interesting topics and I became a very good teacher because I was really excited to talk about it.

Speaker 1: 15:55

They caught onto that passion. I think I told you that kid comes up after let's do Revelation next, cause they're all whoa, angels, demons, judgment, anti-christ. They're, like all very interested in the difference between Hades and Sheol and Paradise and Old Testament versus New Testament. What did Jesus do when he died and when he went and preached the gospel? Whoa, all this mind blowing stuff that's like. This is exciting and they could tell I was excited. And then I'm excited for my lesson and I'm excited to teach. I think you have to regularly make sure that you're really excited about what you're teaching. What is God teaching you? What topic is fascinating to you? What was the thing that changed your trajectory that you could be passionate about? Like, hey, I doubted my faith and then God showed me this and show like. You have to speak from experience.

Speaker 1: 16:48

You have to speak from the heart and things that excite you. So don't feel like you're a slave to a curriculum that you've bought. If you look at a lesson and you're just like that sounds boring, maybe the person who wrote it their voice is a lot more passionate when they wrote it, but you're just not like picking it up.

Speaker 1: 17:08

It's just like I don't know I'm not feeling that same excitement. Find something you are excited about, teach that, and I think that'll create an environment Again we never wanna dread it Like, oh, I'm teaching this weekend and I don't wanna talk about this. Well then, don't. Not that it's not a good topic, but there's a million biblically sound topics you can teach on that your students would benefit from. So pick one you like. You don't have to like.

Speaker 1: 17:35

I think if I had to sum up my mindset, it was just I didn't really realize I had a choice. I thought just suffering through people, things and events you don't like was just like. Well, here we are, and I didn't realize, wait a minute. Until our senior pastor kind of said that he's like you're the leader, you're the pastor, so do what you want, make it what you want, teach what you like. I just guess I didn't take the reins in my hand and really realize this needs to be designed not around me, but needs to be something I can lead, not what you can lead, what I can lead joyfully. So don't forget how much control you have over these elements. Okay, number four this is kind of like vague, but kind of like what vibe do you enjoy? So we used to have a high school pastor years ago and he was more of a mellow artsy.

Speaker 1: 18:39

Laid back, laid back and that really translated into the way the high school ministry was run. Things were very artistic and dark and mellow and coffee shoppy Not dark in a bad way. Like you would go in and it was like candlelight and dim lamps and Literally dark yeah like it was just had a very chill feel.

Speaker 1: 19:03

Well, if I had to run that ministry, I would dread it because I have ants in my pants and I want to dance, but you know, like there, that was just not a vibe I could lead, I couldn't run with. So what do you enjoy? So, for me, those elements that make me like, yeah, I love it here. We always show funny videos every single week because I want to start with a laugh, I want everyone to be laughing, I want it to be fun, upbeat, really loud music. We have blown two speakers this year Not proud of that, but it happened. So we-.

Speaker 2: 19:42

I blame it on the song.

Speaker 1: 19:44

It's probably the song not us. Overly competitive games are my jam, where it's just obnoxiously competitive and emotions are high and people are just giving it their all and it's hype.

Speaker 2: 19:58

Is that how you lost your voice now that I'm realizing it Last night, when you had your leaders all over and playing games?

Speaker 1: 20:04

Could have been. I haven't slept well the past like two nights and I think that was why actually Dancing we love to dance at our youth ministry like any excuse for a dance party.

Speaker 1: 20:18

Good food we always have something yummy a little treats and just being weird in general, like it's just fun and everyone is on board with that vibe of this is gonna be fun and energetic and competitive and weird and funny, and that is kind of my personality, I think all, and so that makes sense that that would also be the personality of my youth ministry, and maybe that's a better word than vibe. What is the personality of your youth ministry? Because it could take on a lot of different forms and if it's a mismatch, maybe you've inherited it. Like I said, in the person before you was a total personality mismatch, or maybe you can pick up right where they left off, or maybe all you have to do is tweak a couple of things and you just need to feel like, like you know, when you put on a rainbow shoe, those flip flops, they like mold to your feet over time, not at first, but yeah, it takes a little while.

Speaker 1: 21:19

Like when you go up to your youth ministry. It should almost be like you're putting on your own rainbow sandal of like this feels like it fits me perfectly. Not like okay, so let me pretend to be really into exotic coffee right now because that's what we the vibe we've created.

Speaker 1: 21:38

Just be you and let yourself enjoy it. Because when someone said it, we had this Glover Nighter event and it was the first time we ever did it and I was on stage and we were doing a just dance and I was like throwing out candy to all the kids. And the wife of one of my leaders said after the event. She said her husband came home from the Glover nighter because he was there all night and said when Kristen's having fun, it's gonna be a good night. And I was.

Speaker 1: 22:10

I was having fun and it was a good night, Because if you are just watching and you're not participating because you're like I don't know, this just doesn't feel like me. It's palatable.

Speaker 2: 22:23

Like people.

Speaker 1: 22:24

It's just not right. You have to be leading the charge of this is what we're doing. I'm totally bought in and bringing people along with you. You can't try on a shoe that's not yours.

Speaker 2: 22:38

Well, you can try it on, but you can't wear it.

Speaker 1: 22:42

Can't wear a shoe that's not yours, all right. And then number five and finally, do things that are meaningful to you and that you enjoy, like coming out of your gifts. So I have my student leadership team. I love teaching leadership. Well, that's not really a topic I'm gonna teach on the weekends at church, but I have my student leadership team.

Speaker 1: 23:03

I can teach them biblical, godly leadership skills and we do these simulations and I love it and I try to teach them how to develop these so that they edify the body of Christ. Like you can use these gifts for the kingdom and I love making that connection. I get fired up when I get to teach leadership to kids. Also, service projects that are really meaningful to me we partner with a Down syndrome facility and an autistic facility and they bring their people and we do a whole dance for them and a catered meal and food and games and prizes and it's we do it twice a year and it's the two like fun as service projects have ever done. Some people might say, oh no, we wanna partner with the military, because that's really close to my heart, do it.

Speaker 1: 23:55

Oh no, we wanna reach out to low income places in our community. That's amazing, do it? But you, what are you excited about? What serving opportunity are you excited about? And don't see it as a hierarchy oh well, I enjoy this, but that's better.

Speaker 1: 24:12

It's like no, because I think we have to pay really close attention to the passions God has given us because I think he wants us to ride those passions, because he's like you have the passion for it, meaning you're gonna do it really well. This person has a passion for this, meaning they're gonna do that really well. So if you listen to the passion and that to me feels like God's voice- Cause it's just in you.

Speaker 1: 24:40

where did it come from? You know, it's like maybe it's life experience or things that have happened, but all of those things align for him to say this is something I'm going to use you to do and I need someone passionate, not someone begrudgingly Well, I guess we're gonna go serve the homeless. Find what you're excited about. You have to be the leader who's excited and joyful and enthusiastic. And if you find areas in your ministry all the things we've talked about if you find areas in your ministry you're like, uh, I don't know. I know Sometimes it's working. It's hard, you have to turn in your credit card statement, but are there things that are in your control that you can change, that you can alter, so that you come excited and you are your best self?

Speaker 2: 25:32

Yeah, no, it makes total sense because, kind of going back to the whole gatekeeper of your volunteers, you're the gatekeeper of what you are and aren't going to do, and a lot of times you kind of hit on it before you said some of these events or things like that you might have inherited and it might be difficult.

Speaker 2: 25:48

You might have to rip that band-aid off and be like, look, I'm just not an alt. Let's just say, because everyone hates lock-ins, I'm not a lock-in person. You'll go through probably a year where the students will mow and grow and there may be a couple weeks of that when they realize they're not doing it and then they get over it and if you can replace it with something that they love as much or better, then they forget about it and that just becomes the norm.

Speaker 1: 26:07

Yeah, if you ever take something away, put something in its place. And here's the thing too. There's enough parts of our job that we do not like, that we cannot change.

Speaker 1: 26:20

You know what I mean. So if there's something within your power and it doesn't matter and it just would make you happier and enjoy your job more, do it, because there's some things. Well, I'm sorry, that's just part of your job and that's never going away. You know what I mean. It can't be all well. I just want my job to be all about what I want to do. All the time I'm saying the things within your control.

Speaker 2: 26:45

Just take ownership of that, because of all the things that aren't yeah, you mentioned in the earlier the Glover night or we did a whole episode on that. So if you want to check that out, might be something that maybe you can take away a really lame or event you don't like and add that one in. But we'll link that in the description below and right now we're gonna say that's like our most popular one.

Speaker 1: 27:05

Yeah, that people request. It's fun and easy.

Speaker 2: 27:10

Yes, that is fun and easy. Oh, I know a question of the day, so we want you guys to put your answers in the comments. If you're on YouTube, if you're listening on a podcast player, go over to YouTube and just leave a comment. Really interesting to hear these. So this is what is the strangest purchase you have ever made in the name of youth ministry. No, no, no for two couldn't do it.

Speaker 1: 27:38

It's my voice, okay, so I ordered a rat snout. It's like you put it on like a beak fake, right yeah. Real, genuine you can find anything on eBay and I made a kid eat it for an icebreaker. So it was this rubber rat snout and you know you put it on rubber and then you put it around and we filmed a video. It was a reenactment, so we had this event called like the. What was it called? Maybe it was back when vine was a thing like the oh, instagram ease, yeah, the.

Speaker 1: 28:20

Instagram ease or the vine Grammys, like where you would film a short video. And you would show it and then you give awards based on categories anyways. So when we were out our whitewater rafting trip over the summer, this a girl of rat jumped on her and she fought the rat Like. She fought like four rounds, yeah, oh. Like she like went after it, like didn't like a split decision.

Speaker 2: 28:53

The rematch is set for next year and.

Speaker 1: 28:56

She got bit Like you do, and we had to call our parents Maybe I've shared this story before because her parents were like, oh yeah, we're not surprised, or something like that. So her and I reenacted the scene for the Instagram ease. I was the rat, and so I put on this snout and and bitter yeah, it was like in slow motion.

Speaker 1: 29:22

I was like, and like she put her hand here and I like, bet it, it was. We did not. We didn't win, I don't think. But that was the weirdest thing I've ever ordered was the rats now.

Speaker 2: 29:35

Well put in the comment section below what is the most random or strangest thing you ever had to purchase?

Speaker 1: 29:40

I was about to say okay, what about you?

Speaker 2: 29:42

Nothing. Little Caesar's pizza. Yes, put it in the comment section below. We'd love to see what some of the waxing kit also.

Speaker 1: 29:50

Oh, I remember that we did announcements, but while the person was giving announcements, we, like hair waxing, wax their legs and they had to try to continue to talk. Yeah, it was these guys, it was those waxing strips and they would just put it on and like. Really push it on there.

Speaker 2: 30:19

Oh.

Speaker 1: 30:21

Yeah, that was weird and I bought a fish, a whole fish, once, but maybe they thought I was making dinner, I was playing a game with it.

Speaker 2: 30:29

Yeah, that one. They wouldn't think was that weird. Just once they found out what you were doing with it playing ultimate football, but with the fish.

Speaker 1: 30:36

Yes, I called it ultimate sushi ball.

Speaker 2: 30:38

Well, that was a fail. All right this is a community comment of the day. This comes from Vano 8, 5, 1, 5 or 85, 15, however you want to say it or 8,515. Ministry coach is the best, the best podcast for youth leaders around our future leaders deserve a great program and these two are awesome. Listen, you won't be disappointed.

Speaker 1: 31:02

Thank you, Vano.

Speaker 2: 31:04

So we hope that you weren't disappointed with this episode. Thank you for that review. We really appreciate it.

Speaker 1: 31:10

Thank you. You need to take it up with Vano, because I never said you wouldn't be disappointed.

Speaker 2: 31:15

He said that's an expectation that they put on it.

Speaker 1: 31:18

It wasn't us.

Speaker 2: 31:20

So, anyways, thank you for that. We thank you guys for watching and listening and we'll see you next time today we're talking about five tips for you to create nope.

Speaker 1: 31:29

Today, we're talking about five tips for creating a youth ministry that you'll love to lead, because I think I'm doing a five and a you and I don't know when to change from five to you.