Do You Need to Improve the Reputation of Your Youth Ministry?

The reputation for you, the youth pastor, and of your youth ministry needs to constantly be given attention.  So how do you receive impeccable reputation in the world of youth ministry?  That is what this episode is all about!  We're handing you the blueprint to ensure every interaction with staff, parents, and students reinforces the integrity and impact of your leadership. From the echoes of our reputations shaping discussions in our absence to the profound influence of the smallest gestures, we're diving into how to make your youth group's name synonymous with trust and excellence. Let's forge a legacy of positive influence in student ministry, one interaction at a time!

Are you looking to grow the size and health of your youth ministry?
GrowYourYouthMinistry.com

We love hearing from you all and we do our best to provide powerful and insightful youth ministry content on a weekly basis to be that coach and mentor you may not have, but desperately need.
If you have an episode idea, please E-Mail us at MinistryCoachPodcast@gmail.com!

If you have it on your heart to support this ministry, please consider going to our Patreon page at: www.patreon.com/ministrycoach

You may also enjoy this episode:

(#178) How to Handle Criticism as a Youth Pastor...and Move On!
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ministry-coach-youth-ministry-tips-resources/id1507977601?i=1000640522026

============

🔄 CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL MEDIA 📱:
Ministry Coach Podcast:
Website: http://www.kristenlascola.com/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@MinistryCoach/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ministrycoachpodcast/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ministrycoachpodcast
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@ministrycoachpodcast

Kristen Lascola:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/klascola/

Jeffrey Lascola:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/grandmasterbengal/

===========

Audio Equipment:

Microphones
https://amzn.to/3eWUWrk

Digital Recorder
https://amzn.to/3eXmvkj

Pop Filters
https://amzn.to/2ApEz7M

Mic Stands
https://amzn.to/2Zrwat2

Shock Mounts
https://amzn.to/2AvjhWw

*This episode is not sponsored. Some of the links are affiliate links which simply means, if you buy something, we will receive a small commission (at no additional cost to you) Thank you!*

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Reputations it's going to get built with word of mouth. Making sure you are the gatekeeper of your ministry's reputation as much as you can be, because here's what a reputation is is it speaks when we're not present and we're not going to be there. For all those conversations, Every interaction you have with a staff or a parent or anything like that, be really careful, because those are never neutral. It's either positive or negative. Today we're talking all about how we can be intentional youth pastors that build stellar reputations, not only for ourselves but our youth ministries as well.

Speaker 2: 0:48

Welcome to the Ministry Coach podcast, where it is our goal to help you grow the size and health of your youth ministry.

Speaker 1: 0:54

My name is Jeff Lascola and this is Kristen Lascola, and today we're talking all about your reputation in youth ministry and how it is so important to protect that and what you can do to get ahead of it instead of behind it. If you're wondering why I'm squeaking and my voice is a little raspy, we had our glovernighter last night. Apparently, I fell asleep because I remember waking up. I think you have to fall asleep in order to wake up.

Speaker 2: 1:27

Maybe you got knocked out in a volleyball. What's the game you play, dodgeball they placed me gently on my air mattress in the hallway.

Speaker 1: 1:37

It was really good. We have an episode on that if you're interested. It is one of our best attended events on a Friday night. It's not regular youth group and it's really high attended. It's super easy. It's a win for everybody except people who like to sleep. Anyways, today we're going to be talking, like I said, about our reputation. I did this thing with my students the other day. We were talking about visceral reactions to certain people. I read a list of names and I read Taylor Swift or Travis Kelsey and Beyonce. You know what was funny they didn't have any reaction to Beyonce.

Speaker 2: 2:19

She's old news. They don't know if she is in the heart. Yeah, I know.

Speaker 1: 2:22

They're just sat there, tom Holland. The girls were very excited about that one. I was trying to explain to them what a visceral reaction is. It's just that gut reaction. When someone says olives to me, I can almost taste it Disgusting. Somebody says chocolate and I can smell it and it's like, oh, that feeling. Well, that's a visceral reaction, how you feel it in your gut and your body, your response to it.

Speaker 2: 2:55

Sometimes that visceral reaction can't even be put into words, or maybe you know, I know I have a genuine dislike, but I don't really know exactly why. It's just like innate or the opposite. You love something. It's like I don't know why, but I just do.

Speaker 1: 3:11

You just feel it. Chocolate is delicious. Somebody once told me that eating chocolate is like the same feeling you get when you're falling in love. I don't know if that's scientific, but I'm like that's beautiful and no wonder I love it so much. Anyways, I said okay. So what if I gathered a room full of people who knew you and it's your teachers, your coaches. They're a little bit on the outside, they don't spend every single day with you Then maybe it was some kids who had had interactions with you at school. They weren't your closest friends, and then I put your closest friends in there, and then your extended family, your immediate family, all the people who you have some little point of contact with, either big or small. Then I would. I were to read your name from the stage and say give me your visceral, visceral reaction to Leah. She's like why are you choosing me? I was like okay, whoever. What's that visceral reaction?

Speaker 2: 4:11

She had a visceral reaction to her own name, to herself.

Speaker 1: 4:14

It was funny because then after service she came up to me because I told them I never lie and I'm like, guys, I've just made a commitment in my life I never lie, I don't do anything that I'm going to have to lie about later. And it checks my behavior too. She goes. You said you can never lie. What's your visceral reaction to me After service? And I said I choose the first. No, I love her. I said precious, and she's like oh, thank you. The reason we're talking about all of this is because let's put ourselves in that position. What is the church's visceral reaction to us as the youth pastor, if we were going to fill that room with Our students? Obvious, students who know us a lot, students who know us a little and everything in between, all of our leaders, all of the parents, all the parents you've never met but maybe just have emailed back and forth with the church staff, the support staff. You know, people who work in finance or graphics or some.

Speaker 2: 5:22

For the church.

Speaker 1: 5:23

For the church? Yeah, support ministers.

Speaker 2: 5:24

Any random graphic artist or CPA in your local community.

Speaker 1: 5:31

Just follow us and say Chris and Lescola and see what they say. Well, but fill in your own name, obviously, obviously. So, yeah, like a support staff ministry. You know, we have a few of those at our church. We have people who work in various departments that serve everybody at the church, and people that do web stuff, people who do online registration stuff, and so all the people you have point of contact with, even, let's say, you know, like going back from when you first began youth ministry. Your name is said in the room. What happens? What's the visceral reaction?

Speaker 1: 6:14

And we have, like we were talking a couple of weeks ago about how to navigate criticism and I would say this is like an appendage of that talk. For sure, because reputations, just like the criticism we talked about, it's going to get built with word of mouth. So, remember, when you get back from camp and there's a lot of momentum and everyone's excited and you're riding this wave of enthusiasm and all of that I want you to think of, like when you were at your best in youth ministry and people were so excited about it, how did you keep that going? Because here's where we can get strategic, is we can create a narrative. So summer camp sometimes speaks for itself.

Speaker 1: 7:05

But then it kind of starts to die down and everyone's like eh, now we're just back to normal youth group. But it's our job to remind them of all the really cool things that we've done, all the cool things we're doing, all the amazing things that God is doing in and through our ministry, and it's our job to create the narrative. And so we want to figure out, well, what will people say when my name is set in a room? But also what will people say when the youth ministry's name is set in the room, like, have you ever been to chaos on Tuesday night? Oh, I went there once and nobody even said hi to me and nobody like or I needed help with something, and there was no leader available and there was no information and it was so disorganized. And so we have an identity, the ministry has an identity, and then it's almost like those, then diagrams, and then it like overlaps, and so we have, like these three reputations to manage us, the ministry, and us the ministry, you know.

Speaker 2: 8:07

Does that mean no, like us, the ministry, where yeah, together.

Speaker 1: 8:12

Because sometimes we will see them one in the same, and so it's our job to create narrative, not be a victim of narrative. And so here's a couple of ways we can do that. Number one we can continually, like I was saying, remind people of what God is doing in our ministry, cause there's a lot of things that people might not even know about that's going on, that is so cool and worth celebrating, and you wanna make sure those things as many people know as possible. For example, at the end of 2023, our church did a 2023 recap and labeled it like the title was momentum, and I was like, well, yeah, I see where you're going. You want us to be like, hey, let's keep on moving.

Speaker 1: 8:58

But they mentioned everything that God had done in our church in 2023. And I would say half of it I didn't even know about, and it was things like how many people did we baptize, how many students did we baptize Like they differentiated just students and children. And then it was how many people made decisions to follow Jesus this last year. And then all the service projects we did and there were some amazing ones that I had no idea, that were international, that were going on, and all the people that are involved in a Bible, a midweek Bible study, and it was just stat after stat after stat and you were like, oh my gosh, we did so much as a church. God did so much through us in 2023.

Speaker 1: 9:44

And it got me really excited. Oh my gosh, like, even though it's just this day to day, like going to work, planning youth group but I was a part of this like huge picture of, like what God is doing through the local church. So we can take that idea and say, hey, I know a lot of you guys just show up ready to play dodgeball, see your friends and learn about God. But let me peel back a little bit for you and help you to understand like what God has done this year and what God is doing through our church. Now you can do it on that kind of spiritual level decisions and baptisms and service projects and life change stories and stuff like that. But also you could do it through I love we had been talking about before the recap videos just to show like, so we just had our Glover Nighter. Well, we're gonna show a recap video next week of like, hey, here's what you missed, here's what happened. This was super fun.

Speaker 1: 10:41

This is what it looks like, and so you wanna make sure people are like hey, we're not just like sitting here, like just we meet once a week, but we've got events we've got camps, we've got projects, we you know and try to get that in front of as many people as possible to let them know the spiritual wins and just the ministry wins, and you're gonna have to push that information out sometimes.

Speaker 1: 11:06

So another example of what that might look like is speaking up at staff meetings and telling your team hey, I don't know if you guys missed it, but my student leadership team did an incredible service project this weekend and here's what happened and here's what we did. And make it short, please, because sometimes when people recap their ministry they are like gushing, but everyone else like okay, wrap it up. So make it short, but make sure you're senior pastor and the staff and the church know this is what our ministry is doing. Take opportunities to say what you're doing and I know that probably is so hard for some of us because it feels like bragging, like I always cringe when people like have to say exactly how many numbered or how many people-?

Speaker 2: 11:51

Yeah, I was just thinking while you were saying a lot of this, when the it's always that youth pastor that has to specify exactly how many kids are going up to camp.

Speaker 1: 12:00

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 12:00

Like could you guys please pray for the 571 kids when I? I mean that's in my question I guess from this was how do you distinguish between bragging and bragging on God, you know where? In that specific instance, I kind of feel like you didn't need to say a number because people can just pray for the students. But maybe I don't know how you feel about this but if it was more like we had like eight baptisms, that seems more specific for a win instead of saying like we had baptisms.

Speaker 1: 12:36

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 12:37

You know where. I just feel like the braggie kind of comes more from pray for our huge numbers.

Speaker 1: 12:43

I don't know, like where is that line? I don't know. That's a really good question.

Speaker 2: 12:47

I think a lot of times Probably just comes down to the heart of the person saying it.

Speaker 1: 12:50

to be honest, yeah, you're right and maybe people can just see right through that, you know. But I think also when you're like, how you said, bragging on God. So it's like man, god moved in the lives of eight kids and those eight kids decided to get baptized, like join me in praying for them or let's celebrate this. And so always pointing it back to God, like we did these yay God stories at our all staff meeting last week and I shared a story about a student who did something really cool. So it wasn't like I was trying to make sure I wasn't being like I did this, you guys, yay God, but I did it. Okay. But it was like look what this other person did. Or like highlighting or platforming someone in your ministry, or always pointing it back to look at what God did. And even when you do that, sometimes it still could come off if someone's especially struggling in their own ministry, they might feel like, hey, like you know, like it'll, it might step on an ego or two, but I think it is really important that we make sure families, staff, students know what cool things are happening in this ministry, the things that maybe just you, as a youth pastor, see, like whenever I get a really nice email from a parent that's like, oh my gosh, my kid is has never been involved in church before. They love it because of you guys. You know they've tried other youth groups and it's never been a good fit and I always forward that to my team right away of like, hey, I can't be the only one hearing these good stories. You guys have gotta know what you do. Each week matters and parents are noticing and seeing a difference in their kids and you know it's tiring but it's working, like let's keep going. So, you know, making sure you are the gatekeeper of your ministry's reputation as much as you can be, because here's what a reputation is is it speaks when we're not present. So we need to help create the narrative as much as we can because, like we learned, you know, a couple episodes ago, there is like people talk and we're not gonna be there for all those conversations and so every interaction you have with a staff or a parent or anything like that, be really careful, because those are never neutral.

Speaker 1: 15:22

Chris Brown, our senior pastor, he said once no interaction with a parent is neutral. It's either positive or negative, and if the more positive you have, you're creating these waves. And then if you get one little rogue ripple wave going the wrong direction, well, if you have enough positive waves, then those waves might stand up to defend you. Meaning, you have all these parents that are raving fans because you email them back on time, you took extra precautions with their kids, you were organized for the event, you were, you know, defended their kid when something happened or whatever, and you've won them over. Well, if they're waiting for their kid after practice and a parent says something offhanded about oh whoa, that church, blah, blah, blah, hopefully you will create enough positive waves that in your absence, someone else can defend you and there's nothing better than like a secondhand compliment.

Speaker 1: 16:23

And so remembering every little thing you do, it kind of is coming down to like, almost like your brand or your image, in the sense that you are creating that visceral reaction in people. Like when I see a certain you know, like you see a certain logo and it creates like, like we're watching that Nike documentary and I don't even wear Nikes, but you see that swoosh and it's just this iconic you think of all the famous people and professionals that have, you know, come through that brand and stuff and it carries its own weight for sure, and so you know one person going Nike sucks. You'd be like wha-wha who cares, you know.

Speaker 1: 17:09

And so it's like how can we do little habits throughout this year to make sure that we are creating our own image, our own brand, our reputation that can stand when we're not there? And so it's built up of tiny little habits, not always the big moments, and that is, you know, having like, think of, even like a staff meeting. I hate meetings, but a staff meeting where, even down to where do you sit? What's your posture, what's your body language? Are you working the whole time and like not really listening? Is your phone out? Are you engaging? Are you offering ideas? Are you engaging in conversation that doesn't even have to do with your own ministry, but it's just the church overall.

Speaker 1: 17:59

Those things add up. When you're talking to leaders, you know, are you being a good listener or are you going classic pastor and wanting to be listened to with your students? Are you fair? Do you validate their feelings? Do you understand where they're coming from and try to help them solve their problems? Or do you just brush it off like, eh, guys, this won't matter in five minutes, who care, you know? So all these little things add up to people's visceral reaction to us, and we have way more control over it than I think we think we do. Does that make sense?

Speaker 2: 18:41

No, absolutely. And, like you're saying, it's those little small chips, you know, one at a time, slowly, over time, where even if, like the big failure moment comes, those small chips building up can withstand maybe that huge like I totally dropped the ball on this or, you know, I made a, you know a complete fool out of myself in this instance, but I had enough chips to really kind of like push that over the edge, you know, or to battle back or whatever.

Speaker 1: 19:09

Yeah, and just picture the positioning of like you're always in front of it. You know what I mean. You're not just like oh, what are all these people Like? You're always in front of the narrative, the reputation, because people will talk and we can't always control what they're gonna say, but we can definitely not give them ammunition of like well, you're right, I didn't ever email you back. What am I supposed to say now? You're right, I did play, you know, allow the kids to play inappropriate video games. Now, what do?

Speaker 1: 19:40

I say You're right, we were 45 minutes late and I didn't tell anybody or warn anyone or give anyone the heads up, and you guys were all just here worried about us, and that could be a number of things. So you know, leading with excellence, dotting those eyes, crossing those T's I think that's the nitty gritty of ministry and we don't see it as ministry Like we wanna, like, yeah, whatever, I just wanna go hang out with students. I don't know, it'll work itself out. I just got a message to do.

Speaker 1: 20:08

But we don't realize those little nitty gritty habits of excellence allow us to do what we do and allow us to continue, because people will like nobody wants to be a part of a half-baked plan, right?

Speaker 1: 20:23

So the people will start to see, oh, like, kind of, like the Nike thing, like this is legitimate, like this is a well-thought-out thing, this is like a well-oiled machine, this is a trustworthy program, this has some clout and I'm gonna invest in this and I'm gonna defend this and I'm gonna be involved in this. So you know, creating this environment through your actions and the way you care for people. The bottom line is, everything in ministry really comes down to one thing intentional relationships. Like that is what every, almost everything we do is built off of intentional relationships, and so if we're a leader worthy of being followed and if we want a reputation that's viscerally positive, you know it comes down to that how do we treat people, how do we invest in people? People aren't a means to an end. People aren't like cogs in our little career machine, like helping us get to the top, and the best leaders are the ones who can win people over slowly, over time, with just that intentional relationship, like I care about you, and the fruit that comes from that is abundant.

Speaker 1: 21:42

It is overflowing, watching the fruit come from, just what naturally comes out of intentional relationship. And that's why I didn't know I was a leader at first, when I was really young. I was just having relationships with people. I didn't realize that was influence in the making and that fruit was coming from it and that people were wanting to follow or wanting to be on my team and I was like why do they keep looking at me like I'm a leader? I'm not, I'm just doing the normal. But I realized, oh, this isn't normal, like building into a person and really seeing them and being very intentional and valuing them, meeting them where they're at. I just was doing that and turns out that's biblical leadership, ministry leadership, and I was like, ah, yeah, because that was always so confusing to me. So bottom line intentional relationship is the foundation for all of this and pretty much anything we talk about on this channel.

Speaker 2: 22:48

Yeah, and the good thing is that there are those people that are gifted naturally. What's the? What's the? Is it Strengthsfinders, where you can have woo as your Strengthsfinders? Okay, Not everybody has that Like. There are those certain people that I can just walk up to a person and then we're best friends and I have all you know. They're fully backing me on anything I want to do. Those are probably great salesmen too, by the way, but most people don't have that.

Speaker 1: 23:13

Right.

Speaker 2: 23:13

But what you're talking about, the intentionality, it's just that, just being intentional with those moments, that anybody can do that. You just have to be cognizant of it and make you know the effort into doing those little things over time and not letting them slip through the cracks. But you know, just get it 1% better every day.

Speaker 1: 23:31

Yeah, I agree.

Speaker 2: 23:32

All right, let's do a question of the day. Okay, we're at the point now where we've done I think this is our 180th episode Wow, Big celebration 180. But I feel like we're at the point where we may have been doing some of these questions more than once. If you have a new question for the question of the day, feel free to add it in the comment section below if you're watching on YouTube, so this may be a repeat If it's not cool. If it is well, we'll see if our answers are the same. What is a underrated comedy film that you love?

Speaker 1: 24:03

So I don't know why nobody talks about what about Bob? It is so funny.

Speaker 2: 24:09

Yeah, that's good.

Speaker 1: 24:10

Okay, I don't know what year it was made. It's old, it's probably from the 90s.

Speaker 2: 24:15

Yes, it's not 80. No, it's gotta be 90s.

Speaker 1: 24:17

It's Bill Murray and Richard Dreyfuss. Yeah and it is just a hoot and I just I think I saw it randomly at one of my friends houses, like on VHS a long time ago, but I don't ever hear anyone quoting it, talking about it. I'm like we do this is comedic Gold, yeah, and it's. It is Is surprising, like when I first saw it and I saw the cast, I just didn't think it'd be as funny as it was and the premise Then I was like meh, it was hilarious.

Speaker 2: 24:48

Yeah, that is a good movie I like and this, I think, is underage, just because no one probably has ever even heard of it. But as UHF with weird Halle Yankovic that was, that was in the 80s and like Michael Richards from Seinfeld, kramer from Seinfeld, he's, he's in it, has a really oddball role, but it's pretty cheesy in a lot of ways, but it's just. I think it's hilarious.

Speaker 1: 25:13

So do you think weird Al is funny?

Speaker 2: 25:15

because I don't he has a couple moments in that movie. I feel like it's more of the premise and the surrounding cast and some of these random scenes that just make it because we usually agree on comedy. Yeah, have you seen UHF.

Speaker 1: 25:29

No, I haven't. I haven't even heard of it, but I just don't think weird, I've never found him funny.

Speaker 2: 25:36

Yeah, I would. I would say he's probably not the funniest part of this movie. It's all the other things surrounding it. Okay, okay but in the comment section below, what is your favorite underrated comedy film? And if you hadn't watched the episode we did last week, it's all about the ultimate movie night experience.

Speaker 2: 25:52

I wouldn't recommend UHF or what about Bob, but we do have a list. If you guys wanted the most recommended by you. The youth pastors top. I think it's 75 movies that get recommended. So let's do a community comment of the day and then we'll wrap things up. This comes from I'm gonna mispronounce your name and I apologize in advance.

Speaker 1: 26:11

You say that every time.

Speaker 2: 26:12

It's because there's very few Mike Jones that come through. You know, it's always the people with unique names.

Speaker 1: 26:17

That's right, mike. There's only one you, and we love you this comes from.

Speaker 2: 26:22

Here we go, Tiffany Sas guy.

Speaker 1: 26:25

Now I don't think I did it right, but you just gotta go in with confidence.

Speaker 2: 26:29

I know and I totally did not. We appreciate this comment, though, tiffany. She says our church hosted their first Glover nighter because of this channel. It went amazing. Thank you so much for all the ideas and support.

Speaker 1: 26:41

You're welcome. Thanks, tiffany, I'm glad you guys actually did it.

Speaker 2: 26:44

Yes.

Speaker 1: 26:44

It's so easy, why would you not?

Speaker 2: 26:46

Yes, yes, yes. It's a super fun event. Kids love it. Anything that involves being overnight, the kids are like I'm all about it. You know you ever wanted your kids like, like I'm not vegetables or clean up or do something, you just have to do it overnight because that's like, apparently, the key to keeping them engaged.

Speaker 1: 27:02

I know this parent dropped off her son and she's like he pretty much got out of the car before I even stopped and I was like, okay, I love you too. Bye.

Speaker 2: 27:11

Even though, although this what you guys, do, it as you do go to sleep. It's an event or at some point you do yeah okay, a lot of people. You know we'll do the all-nighters, which we've always said is so ridiculous. The kids love it, but it's like even they hit that point right where they're like I'm asleep, it's 4 am and they're ready to go to bed. You know they're not even pushing through this night and that they wanted so bad because it's like it's overnight.

Speaker 1: 27:34

Yeah, they just bite off more than they can chew. Yeah, last night I played four games we did for just dance, we had snack shack, we had pizza, and Some of them were totally down for like the last game. But some of them were like what time are we going to bed? I'm like, oh, you going going on night? Okay, we can go, not night. So we didn't go. We I had him in bed by one, which is not bad.

Speaker 2: 27:58

That's not bad. No, that's very realistic. Yeah, I mean, you don't go to bed until one, and it was because you can't fall asleep.

Speaker 1: 28:03

I know well, I couldn't fall asleep blessing they weren't quiet at one, but it was lights out at one.

Speaker 2: 28:08

All right. Well, thank you guys. So much for watching and listening and we will see you next time.

Speaker 1: 28:13

Today we're talking all about how we can build what is it ministry? We have to build our youth Della reputations, not only for ourselves, but our youth ministries as well. No, today we're talking all about how we, as youth, have you ever wondered that? No,