Ministry Coach: Youth Ministry Tips & Resources
Kristen Lascola from North Coast Church gives weekly insight and tips on how to grow the size and health of your Youth Ministry! With over 20 years in Student Ministry, Kristen shares her knowledge and experiences and frequently features guests from various ministries, churches and leadership roles so that you can use proven strategies to increase your impact from your leadership role. This podcast will help you grow your leadership skills, enhance your youth group, learn new youth group games, put on impactful youth ministry events, build a thriving volunteer staff, grow your influence and create a healthy environment so that you can help take the ministry God has you in to the next level. Hit subscribe and get ready to advance your youth ministry!
https://www.growyouryouthministry.com/
Ministry Coach: Youth Ministry Tips & Resources
6 Mistakes that Limit Growth in Youth Ministry
The time to grow a healthy, thriving youth ministry is NOW...let's work together! Make sure to check out GrowYourYouthMinistry.com *** Today, we will be taking an in-depth look at 6 growth-killing mistakes we see all the time in youth ministry and laying out a clear path to build momentum that actually lasts. From fixing inconsistent youth group programming to creating student-owned culture, this is a practical, field-tested guide to growth rooted in health.
If you’re ready to remove barriers, raise the bar, and see students take ownership, this student ministry conversation is your playbook. Subscribe, share with a fellow youth leader, and leave a review ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ to help more youth ministries find these tools.
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You may also enjoy these episodes:
(#239) Your Youth Ministry Website is ALL WRONG! (Here's How to Fix It)
(#040) How to Start a Student Leadership Team in Youth Ministry
(#242) Youth Ministry Room Set Up & Decorating Ideas - Youth Room Remodel!
(#047) Youth Pastors & Parents - Best Communication Tips!
(#170) The 7 Essential Tips on How to GROW Your Youth Ministry!
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We love hearing from you all and we do our best to provide powerful and insightful youth ministry content on a weekly basis to be that coach and mentor you may not have, but desperately need.
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Are you confused as to why your youth ministry isn't growing? It could be because you're unintentionally making one of these mistakes.
SPEAKER_02:Welcome to the Ministry Coach Podcast, where we bring you weekly tips and tactics to help you fast-track the growth and health of your youth ministry. My name is Jeff Lascola, and this is Kristen Lascola.
SPEAKER_00:And today we're going to be talking about six mistakes that ruin your growth efforts in your youth ministry. So we've talked a lot about growth lately, and because it's usually on people's mind this time of year, we've said that before. And we're last time we talked about myths when it comes to growth, things that maybe you never saw coming. And we talked about how I would much rather lead a small, healthy youth ministry than a large, unhealthy youth ministry because good luck reigning that thing in. And so today we're going to talk about, we're going to continue the idea of growth, but talk more about if you're trying to grow, what mistakes could you be making that are keeping you from reaching your growth potential? So the first one is inconsistency. And what I mean by that is mostly inconsistent program meetings where you make everybody guess all the time at what you're doing. And I mean that in two different ways. Number one, guessing if you're meeting. So, like some youth groups are like, we only meet the second Wednesday of every third month. You know, it's like, what? Forget it. Never mind. That's really gonna kill your growth. Need I say more? That I mean, you're not gonna be on people's calendar. They're gonna replace you with something else. It's gonna kill any momentum that you may or may not have had. And then the other inconsistency, this one is just a little sneakier, but I find that a lot of churches have a method like this where you leave people guessing what service students will be cared for at. So it's like, well, at first service, we don't have students, but then the high schoolers go and sit in with the adults, but the junior hires come over here. Yeah. And it's like, kid, we maybe have a goal of cleaning that up a little bit. When people come to your church, they don't have to unravel the matrix of when each grade meets, but they can come at any service with their full family, and everyone in the family is taken care of, and they don't have to keep a schedule. They could show up at first service, second service. Like we have a Saturday night service, and no, we it'll be full service for everybody all the time. I think that is just such a simpler way to serve our families and it keeps your growth going because when people have to guess, it just again is such a momentum killer. Yeah. So I love the idea. Like we have, if we're gonna have a service, it is fully staffed, fully like every age has a program, and they don't have to say, Oh, I'm sorry, you should have come an hour or two ago, because then your high schooler would have had. And the idea I want that is gonna be the undercurrent of all of these, is we have to have an outreach mindset when it comes to the local church. Because so many practices that churches do are very convenient if you're a member. And without saying it, we're saying members only.
SPEAKER_01:Right.
SPEAKER_00:And I know that's not the message any of us want to give. We were like, no, anyone is welcome. Are they? Because when you make people jump through hoops or decipher your high hieroglyphic calendar to understand when they can bring their family and what child they can bring when, you are essentially saying this is for members only, people who understand our rhythm and cadence. You and the other undercurrent of this episode is you want to remove as many barriers as possible for people to come to church. Like you should just be able to show up and obviously, you know, register your kid, but then go for it. You know, it shouldn't be like, oh, well, this is youth doesn't meet on this, blah, blah, blah. So to me, that is one that I see as yeah, if you want to keep serving the people you're already serving and never grow, then keep on doing it, you know. If you're fine, like and legitimately, I'm not being sarcastic, like you might be fine. Like, no, this is this is it for us.
SPEAKER_02:But once they graduate, that's it. There's no they'll have children to come back. Uh, yeah, true.
SPEAKER_00:Uh, but if you are looking to grow, and that's what this episode is about, you would definitely want to reconsider that because it will thwart your efforts. And I it kind of breaks my heart when youth pastors are spinning their wheels and like, why aren't we growing? Why aren't we growing? And it's these little sneaky things that it's like, it wasn't because you weren't good at your job, it's just people were confused and went elsewhere because they couldn't keep up with your hodgepodge schedule. So, you know, when you don't need to take something personally or take it as a personal effect, it's like, ah, it could have been as simple as full service, every service. Yeah, right. Number two, would it be the Ministry Coach podcast if I didn't say keeping junior high and high school together is going to ruin your growth? Again, it goes back to the idea that you will continue to minister to who you're already ministering to. And that'll be that. I feel like junior high and high school, I am not a fan of them together for growth, but also for health. And health and growth seem to go hand in hand, but it's like the families that like, oh, it's so convenient because I have a high schooler and a junior higher. Yay, one stop shop. That's usually the youth pastor's argument for it. Trust me, they will move on and get over it. Like the high schoolers will start to drive on their junior year, so they only have to do two nights, a couple of nights. And if the kids are begging to go, what parent is gonna be like, church again? No, I mean, maybe some parents, but kids will find a way to get there. They will carpool. You could help them set up a carpool, you could like there's there's ways to do it, and and I know because that's what we do, and the parents make it happen because their kids want to be there. But when you keep junior high and high school together, I feel like both groups are always having to compromise. So it's like neither group is getting fully what they need. They're getting a little bit of what a high schooler needs and a little bit of what a middle schooler needs. But environmentally and programmatically, I feel like it's pretty impossible to hit it just right. I'm not gonna beat a dead horse because we've talked about it a million times. But if you're new to the podcast, you probably should know that. That's how I feel. Forewarned. I just drooled all over myself.
SPEAKER_01:Why? I get so excited talking about splitting junior high and high school. Yeah, I guess. Just salivating.
SPEAKER_00:Uh all right. Drooled. Who knows why? I don't know. Number three, no student leadership team. That will thwart your growth efforts as well. And I was talking to a youth pastor today, and if it's never been a part of your culture, yeah, it's really hard to get off the ground.
SPEAKER_02:Because there's no, you can't look to it and see, say, this is what it is. Exactly. Like someone coming, it's like, why are they up on stage or why are they handing out this or you know, whatever? Well, those are student leaders. If there's nobody as an example, it's like, what the heck is student leaders?
SPEAKER_00:You're asking them to join uncharted territory. So what I suggested to that youth pastor today is okay, instead of launching a big formal official team, work up to it. So in the past, here's what I did. I like picked out a couple kids that I'm like, you've got some leadership potential, or you have like a perfect energy to like welcome people. Like, I just started picking out gifts in them. Yeah. And I would say, Hey, can you be my undercover greeter? Like when a kid really just needs a friend, could I deploy you if someone's new that, oh yeah, yeah, I could totally do that. Remember, Sam and Noah, they were my first two that I would be like, guys, come on, you got this. And they were all about it. And that kind of turned into kids being like, Well, I can play guitar. Could I play with Jeff? You know, when you're our worship leader up on stage. Yeah. Well, I like tech stuff. Could I be in the sound booth? So it just could kind of evolve if you see kids with gifts, then just start using them and then let it just be organic at first. And then maybe a year goes by and you have a bunch of kids and then you want to make it more official. Hey, everyone who serves, let's meet once a month and do some discipleship. You know, you can build a bridge up to it, it doesn't have to be formal SOS team, you know, application. Just why don't you hand select kids to come alongside you to help you do ministry, to serve, to be a leader? Because here's why there has to be a leadership, a student leadership core that starts to set the culture and it becomes super magnetic and it starts to draw other students in because they see this is literally a youth group, not an adult run program where children are welcome to come.
SPEAKER_02:Right. So like School 2.0.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. And I think there is that magnetism when they're like, oh, like this is actually students. Like last night we had another incredible worship night. And here's what blows my mind no dodgeball, no pizza, no games, nothing, just worship for two hours. And like watching the students worship, but was like made my pastor heart explode 5,000 times. But what I thought was so cool is I did not invite my junior hires up on the stage, but the ones who are on my leadership team, as soon as they recognized a song that had hand motions, they just like would run up there and start doing the hand motions. Like with the high schoolers and everything, this is the only event we combine. And they were like so just brave, and they're like, I have a place here. They didn't one of them did tap me on the shoulder, like, Kristen, can I go do it? I was like, you don't even have to ask, get up there, you know. But they're so comfortable. Like, this is our church, this is our environment. And other kids see that and they're like, This is our church, like we are the church. It just communicates a lot for peers to see peers in leadership and serving, and it creates a very magnetic environment. And they take ownership in different ways and set the culture in different ways, and they have a say in a lot of things. You know, I ask them a lot, I test games with them. I, you know, it's it's such a growth engine, and I would say the healthiest kind of growth, you know, because these are people you're discipling who are having relationship, close proximity to the pastor and to leadership and learning how to be the church, and that becomes infectious to the rest of the youth ministry. And, you know, with that, there's like requirements, like you guys have to play the game. So if everyone, like sometimes youth pastors are like, well, you say play games, but nobody will play. Plant, plant them like my student leadership.
SPEAKER_02:Pay them.
SPEAKER_00:I would. Here's my mom used to pay me to go to ballet. True story: four dollars every session, and a quesadilla from Taco Bell.
SPEAKER_02:And you could bribe them with candy, I'm sure.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, or quesadilla from Taco Bell. I mean, it worked for me, so yeah. I I think hey, you're on leadership, you've got to play. Or like we do service project events. It's like you guys have to participate, like it's non-negotiable for you, and that helps. Like, you know, when people put a dollar in the tip jar, but it's their dollar, it's like, oh, look, people are doing this. Everyone hop on board. It can kind of be that way with students.
SPEAKER_02:You gotta weigh it down with a few quarters because you don't want anyone stealing that dollar.
SPEAKER_00:When I used to work at Wetzel's Pritzels, our entire tip jar got stolen. I think it was an inside job to this day. However, I was devastated because there was like$85. Ouch.
SPEAKER_02:That's actually a reasonable amount of money.
SPEAKER_00:That was a lot in 2002. Okay.
SPEAKER_01:When I worked there.
SPEAKER_00:Anywho. All right, number four, not prioritizing fun slash vibes. So I just said we did a worship night with no no fun. But here is the thing. We always have so much fun that it was like they could hang. Yeah. Like it wasn't like this place is always boring, you know. No, worship was so hype, like the kids on their knees, hands up, we did communion, we did all these things. It was, we have a whole episode on it. If you want to try to do your own worship night, I highly recommend it. But we always have something fun to draw students in. And I had a conversation with a newer student last night, actually. And I was, he's really new, like new to church, new to the faith, new to our church. And I'm really walking alongside him, and it's been a lot of fun. And I said, So, how does it feel like coming to a church for the first time? I said, Is it weird? Is it like uncomfortable? He goes, No, he goes, I love it, and I keep coming because this is the one place I feel like I can be a kid. And like I almost started crying because he, you know, he he puts off a cool vibe. And I think everyone in his life expects him to be like serious or cool or like, you know, but was you kind of communicating like I can let my walls come down, kind of, and I don't have to put a facade up.
SPEAKER_02:That's how when you told me the story before, that's kind of the vibe I got.
SPEAKER_00:Not so much like I get to be a five-year-old, run around and kind of like I think I mean, we have a basketball hoop and we had candy and hot chocolate, and there was just fun stuff that made him feel like and I said, You're right. When you come here, nobody's expecting you to be anybody other than who God made you. And it was just such a cool moment that I'm like, okay, we're doing something right if he feels permission to be himself, a kid, have fun, and creating vibes meant for kids, you know. I think sometimes youth pastors are like, I love teaching and I love the Bible, but don't ask me to lead a game. Don't ask me to teach or um plan like a silly event or whatever. And I think we just have to remember the ministry to that age group. Like you, they have, I would argue, a spiritual need for fun. You know, they have to be able to marry who they are with their faith and see that it's like okay. It's not like we have to put on our serious self to come to church, but we're allowed to be ourselves at church and feel like fun is a really great avenue for that, to bring the humanity to it to like sort of like cut the cord of that idea, like, oh, we're Sunday best and we're all very proper and we call everyone brother and sister because this is uh this is church me. You know, it's like, well, I mean, if you do that anyways, fine, but if you're you have to put on church you to come to church, I feel like that sends a weird message that faith is different on Sunday. Yeah. And then, okay, now we can wear something comfortable and actually laugh. But it's like, wait a minute, like you are the same person, and let's treat you like you're allowed to be human, a human seventh grader, and I think you get what I'm saying. So I think that comes across obviously games, camps, events, but also we've done episodes on space. Like, there should you should look at this room and say, I know exactly who meets here. I've coached churches before who will have like students meeting like in a like a shared space, so it looks much more like a conference room or something like that. And I'm like, that could be killing your growth. It's not like the most fatal flaw in the world, but if we're talking about things that get in the way of you and growth, that could be it. Like putting a bunch of seventh graders in a conference room does not scream, we were expecting you. It's like, ooh, uh, where can we put you?
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:And be quiet because you know, there's somebody meeting right next to you. So we've got to create space that says, We knew you would be here. Sounds creepy.
SPEAKER_01:We've been expecting you.
SPEAKER_00:We've been expecting you. Okay, number five, not communicating well. Um, we have talked before about the difference between pushing and pulling information. If it's hard to find out what's going on, and that again is going back to that idea of barriers. We want to put down as many barriers as possible for people to participate. And if they cannot find out when, where, and how, then they might just move on. You know, I always feel like, even though they don't mean it this way, a little slap on the wrist when someone has to email me specifically to ask about the information because it's like, well, I've already emailed it. It is, it should be on our website, it should be on our social media, it should be in the calendar. Like there should be a million ways that you know about this without texting me. Now, maybe it's just the easy way out. But if I have a parent say, I I looked at the calendar and I couldn't find, that's when I'm like, oh, failure. Because it should be so user-friendly that they know where to find information or information comes to them. But if they have to go on a hunt for it, I feel like we didn't do our job very well. So, you know, another thing, this isn't really related, but speaking of removing barriers, like even little things like parking and pickup, you know, if you're a smaller youth group and it's no big deal, parents can park and come in. But if they're if your pickup system is chaotic, like a parent can't find their student because their students, you know, playing gaga ball in the back and they're wandering around the church looking for them, like those kinds of like organizational things, I feel like making sure it is so easy for a parent to from start to finish. At our church, we call it like the street to seat experience. Meaning, what is it like for a new family or a regular attender to go from the parking lot through a whole service to pickup and exit? Like, what was that experience like? Where were the bottlenecks? Where were the barriers? Where were the challenges? Oh, well, I couldn't figure out how to. Check in my kid. Oh, I was looking for an adult to talk to and I couldn't find anybody. Oh, I didn't know where to drop off my child and there was nobody to ask, or I was looking for a resource and I couldn't find it. I didn't know how to sign up for camp or whatever it might be. You know, you might want to put yourself in the position if you can, you know, obviously you're an insider, so it won't be like a perfect experiment. But if I was a parent looking for information, if I was a parent trying to drop off, if I was a new parent trying to pick up, what would that be like? And you know, from the student perspective too, I'm a new student, I show up now. What? Is anyone greeting me? Does anyone tell me what to do? Did someone give me a tour? You know, so all these bear barriers, we want to remove them to create no noise so they can get to Jesus. Like that is the whole point. It's like, so you stop coming because parking was a nightmare, and that like, oh my gosh, like we should lose sleep over that because it's like I'm trying to get you to Jesus, so I'm gonna move every little rock, stone, log out of the way so that you have a clear path. You know, the enemy would use anything, you know, to convince someone, oh, it's such an inconvenience. Oh, it's not worth it.
SPEAKER_02:School night, you don't want to get caught up in that traffic, getting the kid out.
SPEAKER_00:It's such a chaotic, you know, or this one, they always run late. Oh, you know, they say they're gonna end at nine. They never do. It goes till 9 30. Like, you know, they are not you can't trust them, or that's so rude, and whatever. So get out on time. Do you know, do all these things to remove barriers for people because every single one of the ones we mentioned, they're not like I made them up. These are all real barriers that keep people from uh coming. So hey friend, I just wanted to interrupt this episode for a second to let you know about an awesome opportunity for you and your youth ministry. So last year we launched our course and coaching program called Youth Ministry Growth Accelerator, and the response has been amazing. So we've helped tons of youth pastors grow the size and health of their youth ministry, and we want to invite you to be a part of that as well because maybe you're just sort of feeling stuck in a rut, maybe you don't know what to do next, maybe you just have a vague plan in your mind of what you're doing and you want some real help to get you from where you are to where you want to go. So if that sounds like something you've been looking for, go to growyouryoutministry.com and check it out for more details. All right, let's get back to the episode. And number six, no one is growing or being challenged spiritually. Now, this one is hard in the sense that you are going to have students from all different stages of their faith. So this takes a lot of wisdom on the youth pastor's part. We always say at our church, we're believer focused, seeker sensitive. Like we don't water anything down just, you know, for the seeker. We want to make sure that the believer also is highly challenged, but that the seeker doesn't feel out of place and like, oh my gosh, what the heck was that? I have no clue. Couldn't keep up if I tried, kind of thing. So striking that balance is where wisdom and experience come in. Like, I can't necessarily prescribe that for anybody. I'll just tell you what I do if that's helpful. When I do online curriculum, I always go a grade higher. I've mentioned that before. I always go one grade level higher. So like if it because a lot of curriculums will they'll just say student ministries, they'll say like six through twelve. They won't necessarily say middle school, high school. Some do. So in that case, I'll go to the adult sermons. So for I find it easier that for me to teach an adult sermon and change the illustrations and some of the content to fit middle school than it is for me to take a children's message and elevate it because I'm always kind of like, I don't know like how high to go here, but I feel like I can bring something down just a notch very easily. That's just me. You're you might work backwards, but the point of it is we want to make sure that we're challenging students spiritually every single time and we're not just saying the same thing over and over and over again, or a feel-good message, or just things that are I don't even want to say topical because topical can be fine if if it's scripturally challenging, you know, there's so many different opinions on verse by verse, this, whatever, you know, like what to teach. And I don't want to argue about that today, but I just the point is are your students being challenged in a way that is getting their faith taking a new step every single week. So that might be in the form of challenges, like, hey, like what are you gonna actually do with this? Let's talk about it next week, like a little challenge check. Maybe it's you know, if you're not doing small groups, like that is not one of the points I'm talking about today, but that's a huge hindrance to growth. There's no way to disciple students apart from a small group ministry that I found. If you have one, let me know in the comments because other than small groups, it that just seems like the vehicle for it, and they can be challenged spiritually in their small groups. And so making sure your content is just above age level keeps them constantly reaching for that ooh, like I don't fully understand it, but I want to, right?
SPEAKER_02:And it gets them and close enough that it's not it's like 401 college level, I'll never understand that.
SPEAKER_00:Right. And here's the thing too, it if they're asking questions, that's good. Like that means they're thinking and wanting more. So if they just sit there the whole time and they are like, I've perfectly understood every single thing you said, you know, it's like maybe you're you want to bring it up a notch to where they have to think and ask a question because they don't quite get it. And like you said, obviously you don't want to go so far over their head that it feels like I'm just gonna tune out because I never know what this guy's talking about. So, you know, I think youth pastors err on both sides, but students need to be challenged not only with the content but the practice too. So I think worship night is a perfect example of that. Is like we did seven weeks on worship and different words in the Bible used for worship and what they meant, and then we do a worship night and it really challenged the students. Oh, I have an opportunity now to grow in that area. Maybe I was way too scared to raise my hands and worship before. But now that I've like learned about all of this and what it means, and it's this abandonment to God instead of just like peer pressure. But I have a real reason to do it, I've just grown in my faith, or you know, pairing it with serving, you know, like is another classic. Like we are meant to serve. This is this is a battleship, not a cruise ship. And now here's four ways that you can get involved. So just making sure students always have a challenge so the longtime Christian too doesn't just feel like church is just a loop, like audio loop on repeat that they're like heard it, been there, done that, seen it, boring, right? You know, and because here's the question then they might be asking themselves why even come? You know what I mean? Like if I never leave like a little jostled or challenged or stretched, and it's just like uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, be a good person, uh-huh, uh-huh. Then with given the choice of sleeping an extra hour or going to service, they might think, I don't know, is it really worth all the effort to get up, get ready, tell my parents I want to go? You know, I mean, some kids are forced to go regardless. A lot of my students they ask their parents to take them. Yeah, and the parents drop them off and don't even come to church.
SPEAKER_02:So But sometimes the parents end up coming to church through student ministry.
SPEAKER_00:Yes, and that is what we call a slam dunk.
SPEAKER_01:Ba ba ba ba ba basketball.
unknown:Sorry.
SPEAKER_02:Uh well, hopefully you guys can look at those and say, I'm not doing any of those. We're doing great because we listen to the Ministry Coach podcast. And if that's you, please leave a review on any podcast platform you're listening to.
SPEAKER_00:This um also yeah, if you listen regularly, none of these should have been a big surprise.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. So uh sometimes I'll hear certain podcasts that I listen to, and the person will say, like, people say I always say the same thing over and over again. And I always say to them, but you're still not doing it. So obviously you need to hear it this many times. Not saying that's you. Other people. Yeah, not on this podcast. Uh well, we thank you guys for listening in. And yeah, seriously, if you have not already left a review on Apple Podcasts, I think you can do it on Spotify now too. Please do so because it helps other youth people find this. No, we value feedback. Only if it's good feedback.
SPEAKER_00:Only if it's good feedback.
SPEAKER_02:I'm gonna link a ton of episodes in the description below because you hit on a lot of things. I'm gonna touch a couple of them really quick. The worship night, we did a whole episode on that. And um, the website, making sure you want to laugh because I messed up because you said epifloed epifloed or something.
SPEAKER_00:I was being really mature.
SPEAKER_01:I was being mature.
SPEAKER_02:You're biting your tongue, I could feel it. Uh, we did a whole episode on how to make your website as user-friendly as possible and having all the right information in the right spots. And I think we've done multiple on uh communication with parents. One of the things you talked about. There's other things I know, and I'm gonna link them down below. So make sure you check that out. Uh, we're gonna do a community comment of the day here, real quick. And this comes from Seth Lewis, who says, been watching you guys for a while now, and you have always been so encouraging and helpful. Thank you guys for being faithful to God's calling on your life because it's affecting student ministries everywhere.
SPEAKER_00:Thank you, Seth. Thank you, Seth. That's awesome to hear. That one.
SPEAKER_02:And Seth, if you are listening to this podcast, put in the comment section below on YouTube where you are watching from.
SPEAKER_00:So we'll Where in the world is Seth Lewis 3514?
SPEAKER_02:Just rolls off the tongue. Thank you guys. Thank you, Seth, and thank you guys for watching and listening. And we'll see you next time.
SPEAKER_00:Are you trying to grow your youth ministry? Well, are you confused as why do you Silent from you? Are you confused as to why your youth ministry isn't growing? Well