After 1,200+ Youth Group Services, Here's What I Learned...

The time to grow a healthy, thriving youth ministry is NOW...let's work together! Make sure to check out GrowYourYouthMinistry.com *** What will 1,200+ midweek youth group programs teach you? In this episode, we open the youth ministry playbook on the 7 biggest lessons I learned from doing over 1,200 youth group services spanning over 2 decades.  These tips will help you keep a student ministry healthy & growing - so you can build a program that’s both fun and spiritually focused without burning you or your ministry volunteers & staff out.

If this helped, subscribe, share it with a fellow youth pastor, and leave a review ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ to help more leaders find practical youth ministry tools they can use this week!

=======

You may also enjoy these episodes:

(#208) Youth Ministry Growth Starts With This ONE Thing...

(#111) Plan a Whole Year of Youth Group Games in Under 30 Minutes

(#093) Youth Pastor Self Care: Making Time for Yourself & Avoiding Burn Out

=======

We love hearing from you all and we do our best to provide powerful and insightful youth ministry content on a weekly basis to be that coach and mentor you may not have, but desperately need.
If you have an episode idea, please E-Mail us at MinistryCoachPodcast@gmail.com!

If you have it on your heart to support this ministry, please consider going to our Patreon page at: www.patreon.com/ministrycoach

=========

🔄 CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL MEDIA 📱:
Ministry Coach Podcast:
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@MinistryCoach/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ministrycoachpodcast/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ministrycoachpodcast
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@ministrycoachpodcast

Kristen Lascola:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/klascola/

Jeffrey Lascola:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/grandmasterbengal/

=======

Audio Equipment:

Microphones
https://amzn.to/3V9GrrT

Microphone Preamp
https://amzn.to/3QVB3WQ

Digital Recorder
https://amzn.to/3eXmvkj

*This episode is not sponsored. Some of the links are affiliate links which simply means, if you buy something, we will receive a small commission (at no additional cost to you) Thank you!*

Transcript

Framing 1,200 Midweek Programs

SPEAKER_01 0:00

I have done over 1200 midweek programs in my youth ministry career, and here are the top seven things I've learned.

SPEAKER_00 0:20

Welcome to the Ministry Coach Podcast, where every week we give you actionable and practical tips to help you grow your youth ministry.

SPEAKER_01 0:26

My name is Jeff Lascola, and this is Kristen Lascola, and we did some math, and it turns out I have done over 1,200 youth group program nights, midweek program. We have ours on Tuesday. This is not counting weekend services.

SPEAKER_00 0:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 0:43

I mean No camps. That would be way more because that's three times a week. Uh so yeah, multiply that. And so, no, it's not camps, it's just midweek program. So I have seven things. I never set out for a number. I just am like seven are what came to me. Seven things I have learned from doing 1,200 midweek programs. And if I had to boil it down to like, hey, before you go in there, this is what you gotta know. This is what I would say to someone starting out or in it.

SPEAKER_00 1:17

Someone preparing to do 1,200 youth groups.

Lesson 1: Plan Far Ahead

SPEAKER_01 1:20

1200. Give or take. I mean, maybe I was sick, maybe, you know, but I am at most of them. So, number one, we've talked about this in different episodes kind of sprinkled throughout, but plan well in advance. This was the like it seems so obvious now, but it was like the light bulb moment I had, like probably 10 years in, you know, I would just be there, okay. What programs do tonight? What are we gonna do tonight? And I'd meet with my team and I'm like, what do you guys want to do? And they're like, Oh, we maybe we should play this game. No, we should play that game. Oh, I wish we could, but we don't have enough time to set this up, or we would have to go to the store and get this or that. And I was like, Ever heard of planning in advance? Like, hello. So I now do my whole game calendar for the entire year over Christmas break for you know the upcoming year. So I know well in advance what I'm gonna play so that it A gives me room for margin and excellence, meaning, like, I'm not using precious team meeting hours of like, should we play dodgeball or should we play capture the flag? Like, we already know we're playing. Let's set it up, let's execute it well. We have everything we need. And then it gives me the opportunity to delegate stuff too, like, hey, can you order this or can you, you know, go in the youth ministry supply closet and make sure we have enough flags to play this game? Because there's nothing worse than like, we're playing. Where's all of our supplies? That had happened a million times, and you have to pivot last minute. And it just helps everybody work at their best. My admin finally got on board with me and she's like, Can I just look at your calendar? I'm gonna write it in my calendar. Because normally I'll just send out the weekly schedule, like the time slot for announcements and worship and message and game and what game we're playing and what supplies we need. And she's like, I'm just gonna write it all on my calendar. So I'm even a step ahead. I'm like, that's brilliant, you know? And so it just gives us the opportunity to spend time on other things and not panic and not have these last-minute snags that just like, oh, if we had only looked, we're someone borrowed our glow in the dark dodgeballs and we never got them back. Now what do we do? And you know, it just makes for a program that's way smoother, more excellence, and everyone just has more peace, you know, and myself included. And then, you know, people enjoy working with you a lot more. The I feel like a recurring complaint I hear people talk about when working with different pastors, especially youth pastors, is their frustration with the lack of organization. And they just kind of expect everyone to like forgive it all the time because like I'm fun and cool, right? So it's all right if I'm a little unhinged with my uh organizational skills because you guys will come back for more. Well, people put up with that for only so long, to where that's just like, I can't work like this, you know, especially like amazing people. Awesome people don't put up with bad work environments for very long. They will for a little bit. They'll, you know, give you the benefit of the doubt, but that runs out. So don't try them, you know. Uh, keep good people on your team. All right. Speaking of keeping good people on your team, number two, work like heck to develop and invest in your team. So for you, this could mean your volunteer team, intern team, admin, guys director, girls director, associate pastor. I don't know who's like your right hand person. If you don't have a right hand person, I would highly suggest making that your goal for this year of like, I need a running mate, you know, for a million reasons. We're not gonna go into it on this episode, but it is longevity in a person. Like you can go, like, you know, that old proverb. It says, if you want to go fast, go alone.

SPEAKER_00 5:18

If you want to go far, go together. Yeah.

Lesson 2: Invest Deeply In Your Team

SPEAKER_01 5:21

So like this running mate will help your longevity in ministry. So get the right people on your bus and then work or work on making them the right people on the bus, you know, developing them, giving them opportunities to lead. And the last episode, we said you're gonna have to do enough hard things in ministry. You don't want to do hard things with hard people, you want to do hard things with easy people. And that's what keeps you in the game. Because I said, you know, all the times I wanted to quit, what kept me there was my team, my people, my like sideline cheerleaders, my friends, my like when I had classes of students that were driving me insane, at least I had my buddies. Right, you know, and it's like, ah, we can laugh about it. Let's go, you know, play Foursquare all by ourselves, you know, and we'll have a good time. So I just feel like as the youth pastor, like investing the heck out of those people, and we'll get into that in a little bit on a different number, but just knowing that you don't you don't have a program unless you have amazing people on your bus. So invest in them. And then number three, be there. Like, might sound obvious, but sometimes youth pastors take a lot of time off, a lot of vacations. I'm not saying never take a vacation, but man, you are needed at your program from start to finish. I take weeks off, like maybe once a year when we go travel, you know, for Thanksgiving or something, but I don't get sick very often, so I'm usually there. I just feel like there is a big difference, not a knock on my team, they're awesome, but I'm the kind of leader. I was having my coaching meeting with our campus pastor the other day. I was like, my team, I feel like I bring out the best in them. And so I have to be there. And he said, That's a coach. I said, Yeah, the Ministry Coach Podcast. Hey, what do you know? It's like they're all great, they're all talented, they all have gifts, but somehow when I'm not there, I don't feel like I feel so conceited saying all this, but I don't feel like their gifts shine as brightly. Like I feel like I can pull their gifts out of them, give them opportunities. We bounce ideas off each other. Like I just have like the vision for the ministry. I have the bigger picture vision of the ministry, I have the problem-solving skills, and they're all very skilled. But, you know, one of my leaders, he's like, when you're not there, it feels like the head cheerleader's not there. He's like, You're our head cheerleader. He's like, we need you there. He's like, it always just feels different when you're not there. And you don't want too many of those. Like, I try to never let it be two in a row, like, you know, some like month-long vacation or something like that. Like, try to be as the head of the ministry, you need to be there as often as possible. So don't, you know, I I've known pastors in the past that they put so much on their team that they're kind of like, well, they got it. I mean, I it doesn't really matter if I'm there or not. It absolutely matters if you're there or not. So always be there.

SPEAKER_00 8:46

It also comes with a caveat, obviously, if you are in a season where you're feeling burnt out and like I'm drained, then then obviously take the time you need to do that.

SPEAKER_01 8:54

But yeah, because it'd be worse if you're there. If you're like a grumpy, burnt out person. That's a totally different category, you know, like that's a different episode. It's not like, well, so never ever take a week off. But I guess just stressing the importance of like you and your presence matter. Do not underestimate who you are in the ministry, you know?

SPEAKER_00 9:19

Yeah.

Lesson 3: The Power Of Presence

SPEAKER_01 9:19

Okay, number four. This doesn't sound very hopeful, but I might as well be honest with you guys. There will always be a problem. So get used to it. There will never not be a problem in youth ministry. We tend to think that problems are an exception, and I would argue they're a constant. There's always a problem. It could be beef between adults, beef between kids, beef between parents, beef between families, a behavior issue, a rumor, a lapse in judgment on your part or you know, somebody else's part, a facility issue, a misunderstanding, an injury. There's always something. Yeah. The van rentals don't come through. I'm gonna say that on every episode. The van rentals.

SPEAKER_00 10:07

A yearly occurrence.

SPEAKER_01 10:08

I know, comes all the time. So it's like there's always some problem you're going to be solving. So I thought of this. 1 Peter 4:12. Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come to test you as though something strange were happening to you. I think that's more talking about being persecuted for being a Christian, but I just love the sentiment there. Like, hey, yeah, here we are in problem land. They're everywhere. So it's not like shocking, like, oh no, something must be totally wrong. It's like just get used to being the chief problem solver. That is what you do. And you need to get really good at it and you need to not be afraid of it and not be burdened by it, but just remember, this is my job. I am the problem solver. I'm always solving a problem. I remember asking my dad when I was little, like, where do you work? What do you do? You know, kids are always so confused by what their parents do. And he probably, I was probably too little for him to be able to explain it to me. So he just said, Kristen, I'll solve problems.

SPEAKER_00 11:13

Uh, he's from Tennessee. So a mathematician.

SPEAKER_01 11:17

And I was just like, okay, like that was good enough for me.

SPEAKER_00 11:21

What does your dad do? He's a problem solver.

SPEAKER_01 11:22

He's a problem solver. And look at look at this. Apple doesn't farm fair fall from the tree. No. Because I too solve problems, dad. Uh, we both do. So you'd be so proud of all the problems I solve. I had a kid shaking kids the other day. That was he just was going up to people and like shh shaking them. And we had to tell him. I never thought I'd have to tell a kid, please stop shaking people. It's so weird. So weird. Like, and like hard. Like some kids were like, whoa, like it's like, ah, what's happening? We're like, hey, you gotta stop shaking people. It's like every day is a new problem. Did you think he would be telling people to not shake each other? I didn't. Surprise. So if you ever feel like your job is getting routine, just know there's a really unique problem out there that you will get. I swear, some of the stuff I'm like, why is this sentence coming out of my mouth? You know? It's odd.

SPEAKER_00 12:33

There was a we had a call today for um our youth ministry growth accelerator program, like a cohort, and I just hopped in for just a little bit, and they were talking about what's something that's happened to you in youth ministry that's unique, whatever. I won't share some of the things they said, but your kid shaking people is that would have been shoke me.

SPEAKER_01 12:54

I had to be like, whoa, you know, give them the stiff arm, like, hey, you can't shake me.

SPEAKER_00 13:00

I like that. I'm gonna start going up to people and shaking them.

SPEAKER_01 13:05

Like with a hug? No, he would like grab them by the shoulders, shake them, and their heads are like shaking youth ministry syndrome. I know. I was like, ee, like this could be it, like, ooh, yeah, it hurts a little bit.

SPEAKER_00 13:18

Do you feel the need to shake a fellow student, go to another room, count to 10, and then come back?

SPEAKER_01 13:26

All right.

SPEAKER_00 13:26

Too far.

SPEAKER_01 13:28

Number five, good and bad seasons will not last forever. That's what I've learned with all these different programs. Bad classes eventually graduate. So wait them out, you know? Just be more patient than they are bad. And good times, yes, they should be celebrated, but not counted on as this is the norm. This is how it's always going to be. And on a more like small scale, because that's kind of talking about ministry in general. What I've learned on like the program side of things is like some Tuesdays, slam dunk, awesome, best night ever. And some nights you're like, this was not worth it. This was a disaster. What is happening? Why is everyone shaking everyone? Why is everyone exploding their sodas everywhere? Why is everyone, you know, starting rumors about people? And it just feels so discouraging. And so it's like, yeah, you're gonna have a bad night, and you're gonna have an incredible night. Our friends Zach Workin and Chad Higgins, you know, they had this podcast. I used to be on it a long time ago.

SPEAKER_00 14:41

You still have that.

SPEAKER_01 14:42

Well, it was after well, it was called after nine, and that was not the name anymore, Jeff. And they would be like, All right, check in. Was youth group uh uh spike the chalupa or eat the chalupa kind of night? So if it was a good night, they would say you spike the chalupa, you're like, I don't even need this. You just spike it like woo! But if it was a bad night, you're like eating the chilupa because you need it, it's the only good thing that's gonna happen to you today. So uh yeah, it's like they knew. I loved that question. I thought it was so funny. For me, it's a bean burrito, and they can never get my order right at Taco Bell. No cheese. That's all I ask. No cheese. But it can change from week to week.

SPEAKER_00 15:29

Yeah.

Lesson 4: Problems Are Constant

SPEAKER_01 15:30

Spike, eat. I don't know how what's it gonna be next week. So, you know, our campus pastor he says, every time I ask you, how was Tuesday? You always focus on what went wrong. I'm like, because I expect everything to go right. Like, that's how I like holding out hope, like, uh, it's gonna go exactly how I planned. So I'll always tell him, well, you know, this kid got in a fight, and then I had to call this parent. And he's like, Oh, you always tell me like the negative stuff. It's like, oh, maybe I should focus more on the positive. I felt like maybe that stuff's like a given, but you can't count on the good times, meaning you can enjoy it, celebrate it, embrace it, but don't get too attached to it. Just be willing to know, hey, I'm here for it all. I'm here for all the ups and downs. It's never gonna just be constant smooth sailing. And I just feel like people need to know that. Like, you're gonna have really good nights and really bad nights. And you might have a couple bad nights in a row or a few bad nights in a row. And I think people start panicking, like, oh no, oh no, oh no. It's like, okay, we'll adjust what might need to be adjusted if the same thing keeps happening. But it's just people are difficult, like, and that's what we do. Like, ministry is just caring for people spiritually and in a lot of other ways. I mean, I guess you could argue everything is spiritual, but it's it's hard work and it will get messy. And number six, I learned that there are no throwaway nights. I learned this from our senior pastor. He would always say, like, guys, like, never let it be a throwaway night. Just like, I don't know, let's just like half do it. Let's like just play dodgeball, let him like go at it for a while, and then we'll like, I'll just kind of get up and say a couple things, like a funny story, and then kind of John 316, right? So he's like, don't just do a throwaway night because like it's never just a Tuesday night, or in most of your cases, it's never just a Wednesday night. It's not because what this could be is the first time someone has a spiritual breakthrough, the first time somebody finally lets their walls down. Maybe the first time somebody comes at all, like they've never been to church or youth group before. You know, this could be the time where your one of your regular students is brave enough to invite a friend and it's like, don't let me down. You know, when you invite a friend to church, you're like hyper aware of everything they're teaching, doing, saying. It's like, we're not weird, I promise. Jesus loves you. Just hold on a little longer. Shaking me. You're the shaker. No. Yeah, there was a shaker.

SPEAKER_00 18:27

Yeah, so yeah, so you know what happens.

SPEAKER_01 18:30

Oh, you can't take a little shake, you baby. Well, you would never make it on Tuesday night. You're not cut out for this life.

SPEAKER_00 18:42

Um, yeah, there's a church that we've taken some people to, and like it's a it's a phenomenal pastor, great church services, and and these people we're talking about is they're not Christian. And I feel like every time we've gone, it's just been like, what's going on? Like, why is this?

SPEAKER_01 18:59

It's normally not like that.

SPEAKER_00 19:00

It's the odd night, you know, and I'm not saying that God can't work through some of those nights, but like one of them was like they just went through the church, went through like all their um Oh, like all the cool things they did that year.

SPEAKER_01 19:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:14

And I thought this is great for your congregation.

SPEAKER_01 19:16

Not for regulars.

SPEAKER_00 19:17

But it's like, so this person's like, you don't know who Jesus is. Now you're just hearing, and I like again, I mean, God can work through those things.

SPEAKER_01 19:24

Yeah, they might think like, wow, the church is so involved in the community.

SPEAKER_00 19:27

But there was no real message.

SPEAKER_01 19:28

There was no It's like we needed an altar call.

SPEAKER_00 19:31

It's just like a highlight reel of stuff that they've done this year. And it's like, oh, okay. Wrong night.

SPEAKER_01 19:36

And you don't want to be that for a kid who's bringing their friend to youth group, and then their friend's like, so this is church. Right. You know, no, no, normally, like, I hate when you have to explain like how it normally isn't this weird, and you're like, sure, buddy. So you've got one shot, you know, with these people, potentially. Or, you know, if someone comes and they're ready to be fed and they need church that week, and you just kind of like, I don't know, like they're just junior hires. I used to work with someone and he used to always say, Oh, they're just junior hires, they're just junior hires. I'm like, oh, you mean the group that is statistically the most likely to accept Christ? According to Barna Research, I will shake you. But it's like, no, there's no throwaways. Like, this is this is the most important thing. You have to put forth your utmost effort every single time, like every program. Again, it's not gonna be a slam dunk every time because things go wrong, but let it not be for sloth, laziness, apathy, anything that comes back to us. We don't expect to like, oh, well, my talk has to be a home run every time. You'll get a B plus once in a while.

SPEAKER_00 20:56

But hopefully, but the intent should have been there. Yes, B home run.

SPEAKER_01 21:00

Right. And God can use, like you said, messages that you think are B plus. Sometimes, you know, every pastor has that story was like, I thought I bombed, and then someone's like, That was the best thing ever. You're like, Thanks, Holy Spirit. I don't know what what they heard, but that was not good.

SPEAKER_00 21:15

What was the quote I said to you today? Something I love you. I said, I love you, and then right after that. Uh work like you're in control, but pray like you're not, or something like that. You did not say that to me. I did say that because I was looking at my phone and I randomly found it. I probably butchered it. If that sounds like a good quote, it's a good quote. And if it doesn't make any sense, sort of sounds like what you're talking about right now, though. Like, do your best you can with everything you can, but then also be praying that God will move in the lives of the of the students.

Lesson 5: Seasons Change

SPEAKER_01 21:48

Yeah, yeah. Like let your voice never say they're just junior hires. It's just another Tuesday, it's just another Wednesday. Like, that should not be our posture toward our work and our midweek program. Okay. Okay. All right. And lastly, number seven, protect your small group leaders at all costs. Okay. They are your treasure. They are the like other than you, they are the most important thing. If that sounded conceited. You need to go back and listen to another episode.

SPEAKER_00 22:25

And then it's God. And then it's your small group.

SPEAKER_01 22:29

No, no, no. Flicking you now.

SPEAKER_00 22:31

Okay. Okay. We moved on from shaking.

SPEAKER_01 22:33

No, meaning, like, if you're the leader, you need to be spiritually healthy. You're very important of how you lead. They are like that team. Like, and by protect, I mean you support them, you defend them, you help them. Like, don't give into this mindset. Like, they work for me. Like, you work for them. Like, if you have students who are constantly disrespecting your leaders, like I had a female leader two weeks ago who was like, Kristen, my girls are so bad, they don't listen to me. And she's a really young leader. She is like a senior in high school. She's phenomenal. But I think they just think they can walk all over her because she's young. And I went in their small group and they're like, Kristen. They were so excited to see me.

SPEAKER_00 23:25

She's shaking me again. What is with you?

SPEAKER_01 23:29

Hands for yourself. And they were excited to see me. Like, I was gonna help lead their small group that night until I dropped the bomb of like, you guys will not disrespect her. She is a volunteer and she comes every week to pour into you guys to disciple you. Her mom is really sick. She left the hospital to be here with you guys. And I will not allow you to disrespect her for the next 35 minutes. I'm gonna ask her for a report at the end of your small group. And if you guys can't get it together, we're gonna start sending people out, or I can contact your parents. But either way, you need to get on board with what we're doing. You need to row in the same direction as her. And then I asked the leader after, How did it go? She's like, they were angels. I'm like, good.

SPEAKER_00 24:23

Boom, roasted.

SPEAKER_01 24:24

I can't even tell you how many times I've had to do that of like stand in between my students and my leaders of like, oh no, you don't. Like, you don't treat them that way. These people are volunteers. Right. What did they sign up for? Not for discipline. They don't want to be the bad guy every week. I will be their bad guy. I'm happy to do that. But they wanted to come and disciple students and do ministry and build relationships and like be spiritual mentors. I would like them to be able to do that and not just have a bunch of kids like just making a mockery of their small group because that is so defeating and deflating to a volunteer. And they don't deserve that. I mean, these people are, I mean, roll the red carpet out. Like, who does that after they get off work? I know that they would come straight to church and hang out with junior hires. Well, if the junior hires are being nice, it's totally worth it. But I just will not allow students to treat my leaders badly. So that's what I encourage you to do is protect your leaders at all costs because students can really get out of hand with leaders, especially your younger leaders. I think they just feel like they can kind of talk to them however they want, um, and nobody's gonna do anything about it. Well, I would challenge you to hold them accountable for their behavior because our leaders define our culture. So we need them and we need them to be happy, we need them to be healthy, we need them to be connected, and all of those good feelings and all of those positive things permeate your culture and your youth ministry. But if they're tired, if they're stressed, if they're exhausted, if they feel depleted, if they don't look forward to coming, that will also permeate throughout the culture. So just nip it in the bud and be the bodyguard, the guard dog. Really, really defend your leaders, be their biggest advocate. So those are my seven things I've learned through doing 1200.

SPEAKER_00 26:37

So that should get you guys through your next 1200 youth groups. There you go. Um, there's a couple episodes I will point you to if you want to go any deeper on any of these things. You did mention the one about your you are your most important person in your youth ministry. So it does sound conceited. So make sure you check out that episode to figure out what exactly that means. Um, we did the episode on how to plan all your games for the year in under 30 minutes. Make sure you check that one out. And then finally, we did talk a little bit about burnout there. So do check out the episode we did on self-care and make sure you are not headed towards burnout.

Lesson 6: No Throwaway Nights

SPEAKER_01 27:11

Yeah, and if you really are struggling with burnout, a better place to go would probably be resources by Carrie Newhoff. He had a really dark season of burnout. I have not, I mean, I've been like, I'm tired or I need a break, but he talks about what true burnout is and he came up from the ashes of it. So I would point you there if that is where you feel like you're truly headed.

SPEAKER_00 27:38

Definitely. Hey, if you guys got value out of this episode, make sure you like and subscribe. If you're not already subscribed, we're gonna do a community comment of the day. Uh, this comes from Clara Peckham, our favorite, who says, I have followed y'all for the past four years. And one of the things I've always admired is the boldness and really speaking the truth of what needs to happen or be said. There have been times where what you've said hurts, but knock me into, well, it's the truth. Thank you both. I just started helping a dying youth group, and the leaders have enjoyed me teaching them and showing them how to grow and have a youth group.

SPEAKER_01 28:12

Woo!

SPEAKER_00 28:12

Thank you, Clara. We love Clara. Um, she is part of our youth ministry growth accelerator program.

SPEAKER_01 28:17

We had to have dinner with her one time. That's true. She was in California.

SPEAKER_00 28:20

She came down, so we got to hang out, which was really awesome. So thank you, Clara, and thank you guys for watching and listening. And we'll see you next time. Welcome to the Ministry Coach Podcast, where every week we give you actionable and practical tips to help you grow your youth ministry. Oh, so have you nobody gave me? Um