Do These 5 Things in Youth Ministry...You'll Thank Yourself Later!

The time to grow a healthy, thriving youth ministry is NOW...let's work together! Make sure to check out GrowYourYouthMinistry.com *** Your future self as a youth pastor is going to here sooner than you think, and youth ministry has a way of making that painfully obvious. In this episode, we talk about the “Morning You vs Night You” problem in youth ministry and how small choices stack up into either burnout or strength, especially when you’re carrying students, parents, volunteers, and a full student ministry calendar.  We walk through five moves your future youth pastor self will genuinely thank you for.  Along the way we get honest about why youth leaders slip, how avoidance multiplies stress, and why authentic listening builds the kind of youth group students actually want to invite friends into.  

If this helped, make sure you subscribe, share it with another friend in youth ministry, and leave a review ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ with the habit you’re committing to next!

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You may also enjoy these episodes:

(#083) 5 Healthy Habits for Youth Pastors to Implement Into Youth Ministry

(#224) 5 Leadership Habits of Highly Effective & Visionary Youth Pastors

(#020) Increase Your Influence in Leadership w/ Emotional Intelligence

(#038) How to Plan Your Week in Youth Ministry - Time Management Tips

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Transcript

Future Self Framing And Story

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Today we're talking about five things that your future self will thank you for in youth ministry.

SPEAKER_01 0:17

Welcome to the Ministry Coach Podcast, the number one podcast for helping you grow the size and health of your youth ministry. My name is Jeff Lascola, and this is Kristen Lascola.

SPEAKER_00 0:27

And I'm sure you have all heard the idea of doing what your future self will thank you for. I was actually talking to my student leadership team about this recently. We did a whole leadership lesson on the idea of discipline. And part of discipline is foregoing instant gratification and doing what your future self will thank you for because you are your future self. You will be very soon. Right now. And do you remember?

SPEAKER_01 0:58

And sorry.

SPEAKER_00 0:59

Are you gonna do that the whole time? Really fun. I like that. And now okay. So we went and saw Jerry Seinfeld um once. He's so good, by the way, for stand-up. If you love clean comedy, which I do.

SPEAKER_01 1:13

Pretty clean.

SPEAKER_00 1:14

I don't remember thing unclean.

SPEAKER_01 1:16

I think he, I think he had a couple curse words.

SPEAKER_00 1:18

Well, I mean content, like subject matter mostly. I didn't anyways. So he was talking about the difference between Night Jerry and Morning Jerry. He goes, Morning Jerry hates Night Jerry because Night Jerry wants to just watch one more show or scroll one more time or eat one more thing or read one more thing, and you just keep pushing it and pushing it. And Morning Jerry is like, that guy sucks. He's the reason I'm tired. He's the reason I can't get up in the morning. He's the reason I'm a zombie. And I thought that is so true. Like very shortly, like Jeff demonstrated, you will be your future self. So today we're talking about this idea in the context of being a youth pastor. What are five things that you can do to be the youth pastor that will thank their past self? Keep your future self in mind because it does pay off.

Healthy Habits Keep Leaders Whole

SPEAKER_00 2:15

So, number one, practice healthy habits. I was writing this content and it kind of just struck me like health is your job. Like being healthy, being health, like a healthy person, and by extension, a healthy leader, like is your job. Stewarding your health is your job. And by the way, nobody's coming for you. Like nobody's going to make you. You know, I was talking to my student leadership team, and I'm like, your parents still will make you, they will be the barometer of your health. Like, you can't eat that, you can't watch that, you can't stay up that late, you can't wear that. It's 30 degrees outside, whatever it might be. They will help referee your health a little bit. However, that will run out at some point. So you guys have to lock in and you have to start caring your about your future self and the health and putting in discipline measures to stay healthy.

SPEAKER_01 3:19

So all that define healthy though. Are you talking about spiritually, physically, emotionally and mentally?

SPEAKER_00 3:26

All of the above. So I I know we've talked about on this podcast. I feel like physical health is very much, not I feel it is. Physical health is very much tied to your mental health and your emotional health. There's a million studies that will tell you what you eat affects your brain and how you think and how you feel emotionally. Like they've looked at people that struggle with mental health disorders and they change their diet in different ways or get them physical activity and it really helps. I'm not saying it's like, so if you're struggling, it's a matter of eating a banana. Like obviously, it's more complicated than that.

SPEAKER_01 4:05

But I tried that and it didn't help.

SPEAKER_00 4:07

But there is a tie. That's all I'm saying. Like the things are related. You're a whole being.

SPEAKER_01 4:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:13

Your mind and your body and your emotions are all interconnected. You can't separate one from the other. So yeah, as a youth pastor, like we talked about this a few episodes ago, like at camp season, like I said, I really try to treat my body like a machine because I I can't get sick. I have to be on the up and up. I have to have energy. I have to have patience. So keeping your body and physical health, your future self will 100% thank you for that. When it comes to maintaining your sleep, your diet, your water intake, your physical fitness, all of that stuff is highly related to your emotional health.

SPEAKER_01 4:52

We have a little visitor behind this.

SPEAKER_00 4:53

There's a chihuahua back there. Pay no attention. Um, and then obviously, obviously, spiritual health as well, because that's number one. That's bigger than anything, because everything we do flows out of our relationship with the Lord. So, you know, when we start to let that slip, any of these areas really, when we start to let them slip, that's when leaders get into trouble. When leaders get down some slippery slope of failure, whether it's moral failure, it's because usually comes down to they tried to find a weird way to cope. And whether, like, I mean, I can think of a million examples. I don't really want to go down that rabbit trail, but it's like they try to find a way to cope with their unhealth. And instead of fixing the health issue, whether that's mental or spiritual or physical, they don't feel right. They feel dis-eased, you know, then they try to self-medicate and cope in some really catastrophic ways or some minimally catastrophic ways. But either way, self-medicating to cope with the unhealth that we feel as pastors, like it's not good for anyone, but it's especially not good for people in spiritual leadership because you take the ship down with you. Like you work on a construction site and you have an addiction. That's a big deal and very bad. But likely you'll get fired and the house will still get built. You are in spiritual leadership and you find some weird ways to cope that you know are not good for you or are against God. And it's not like you get fired and the house gets still built. You let down hundreds of people, and the ripple effect of that is huge. So our health as leaders is like of paramount importance, not just for our future self, but the church and the future church and Christians, you know, everyone has like a story of some spiritual leader that let them down and it was a huge hurdle to their faith. Like, I don't want to be in anyone's story in that way. Right. You know, like, oh, well, I have this youth pastor, and she we thought she was one person, turns out she was something else. Like, and then I really struggled and questioned everything. It's like I do not want to be that chapter. Like, that's like gives me just even thinking about it, like a gut punch. And our senior pastor, he always says, like, when I'm done running this race of like pastoral leadership and ministry, I don't want to, I don't want there to be an asterisk next to my name. Like he was great, but remember that all, you know, and he said, and mostly for my children, you know, I want them to see me finish this race of ministry and not have to have like this asterisk next to their dad's name. Like he was really talented, but you know, not that any of us are perfect, but I think we all know what I'm talking about to just like, uh, like you made us all look really bad. Yeah. My one of my um staff members spoke today at church, Arden. Hello, Arden. She did a great job. And I think at the beginning it was this really powerful illustration she made and she was talking about logos. And then she said, you know, if Christianity had a logo, what would it be? And the kids were like, a cross or like a dove or the empty tomb, or I just, you know, random things related to Christianity. And one kid got it right. I'm shocked. He's like, I think it'd be us. I'm like, Ashton, you are brilliant, you know? And that was the answer. You know, it's like we represent Christianity like to the world, like we're the we're the brand, like we're the Jesus brand. We represent him to our culture. And so again, going back to your future self and the future of the church will thank you for being healthy in every sense of the word because it's all interrelated. So again, no one's coming for you. You have to steward that yourself and make the decision. When you don't feel like it, I do it anyways. Like there's this guy on TikTok and he goes, When I don't feel like working out, I do it anyways. I do it mad, I do it sad, I do it glad. Like he says, Yeah, you don't feel like going to the gym. I do it anyways. I do it anyways.

SPEAKER_01 9:27

So as you become an adult, most of the things you do on a daily basis are things you don't want to do.

SPEAKER_00 9:32

Absolutely. Absolutely. You wake up in the morning, you're like, the best thing that'll happen. Like, I went to Baskin Robins and they didn't have my flavor. And inside I got way too upset because I thought that was the only good thing that was gonna happen to me today, and it's not here.

SPEAKER_01 9:48

Day ruined.

SPEAKER_00 9:49

Ruined because I did everything I didn't want to do, and I thought, you know what? I'm gonna treat myself to non-dairy cookies and cream because that's the only thing I could eat there. And I was so it was, and she's like, Oh, I'm sorry, we don't have any. And I was like, You should be sorry.

unknown 10:04

I gotta cry.

SPEAKER_00 10:06

Anyways, we should probably get to number two before I get emotional. Well, what did you do? Stormed out like a Karen. She saw the disappointment in my face, and then I think I said, Okay, I'll just get a frozen banana, and she didn't have any of those either. I was like, for crying out loud. So I probably just went to Taco Bell and cried in my car or something.

SPEAKER_01 10:29

Ate your weight in burritos, burritos.

SPEAKER_00 10:33

Bye bye, me.

Tackle Big Projects In Chunks

SPEAKER_00 10:34

Number two, um, your future self will thank you for biting off chunks of a large project today. Because if you're like me, you avoid these big, hairy, scary projects that you're like, what else can I do besides start that? And so I have these to-do lists, and then it will roll over to the next week like contact this person, get camp started, find the camp registration, book your transportation. I'm like, I don't want to though. So what else can I do that feels productive? And then I can say, well, I was still working, but I just couldn't fit that project in. So your future self will never thank you for finding ways to get around doing the big project. So here's what you do. Depending on when it is and how large it is, I like to just set a timer. I can devote 30 minutes a day to this project, or maybe you don't need every single day. So then I'll say, okay, I'm gonna dedicate two hours sometime this week, an hour on Monday and an hour on Wednesday. And that's all I'm gonna do with this. And as far as I can get in that amount of time. And so for me, it really helps because then I see a light at the end of the tunnel. You know, that saying, How do you eat an elephant? Which I never would. Gross. Every time people say that, it just grosses me out. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 11:55

Barbecue sauce.

SPEAKER_00 11:57

No. Oh, what is the answer?

SPEAKER_01 11:59

One bite at a time with barbecue sauce.

SPEAKER_00 12:01

I was gonna say bite by bite, but I'm like, uh, there's a better way to say that. So one bite at a time. So yeah, you might have this huge project that you are avoiding. So just set a timer, get a little bit done, and your future self will profusely thank you because then it's much more manageable. And that goes for like personal home projects as well. Like my closet um fell, collapsed in the middle of the night a month ago or so.

SPEAKER_01 12:31

Something like that.

SPEAKER_00 12:32

I was sleeping, and the curtain curtain rod, the closet rod, the clothes pole.

SPEAKER_01 12:38

The rod that holds the clothes and the shelving unit above it came crashing down.

SPEAKER_00 12:45

And I thought that we were being bombed. Like, I'm like, we're at war. What is happening? Because I was asleep. Uh no, my closet fell. And I just kept looking at it like, I'm not doing that. Like, this looks like so much work to take everything out, go through it, clean it up. Jeff had to do all the construction, but I would be like, okay, I'm gonna set my timer for 20 minutes. Whatever I can get done is what I get done, and then I'm moving on with my life. And then it just felt like, and then I'll do more tomorrow. Like it's not an emergency. I sold clothes, you know, that I could pull out or whatever. So now it's all done. And I didn't even feel like that was a lot of work. Cause it was just like, eh, 20 minutes here, 20 minutes there. It actually ends up getting done pretty quick.

Build Real Relationships With People

SPEAKER_00 13:29

All right, number three, invest hard in people and relationships. There is no shortcut for this one because youth pastors really clearly want to have like relational influence in their group. And so, what can you do like today to have that influence in the future is spending time investing in your students and your leaders primarily. Like you will never ever ever regret investing relationally in people because then you're number one, you're gonna be building loyalty into your ministry because people know that you care about them and that you, and by the way, all this has to be authentic. You can't just be like, hey, buddy, hey, you like stuff, you like stuff there, kiddo? Like authentically building relationships with people and what that does for the future self and the future ministry is now you have this foundation based on people knowing, like when you come here, you're cared for, you're loved, you're known, you're seen, and putting all of your energy toward that. And here's why I think it's worth mentioning is because sometimes I see youth pastors doing everything but being relational. Like they are setting things up or doing projects or spending hours and hours sermon prepping or like doing everything but hanging out. And they probably are highly motivated people that don't feel like just hanging out and shooting the breeze amounts to anything because you really don't feel like you're getting anything done per se in the moment. Like it's like you're not moving anything forward, but you are when you're spending time just talking to people, not talking at people, pastors. Hear me clearly. Big difference. I'm gonna hold your hand when I say this. Stop talking at people. Can you ask a question? Can you listen? Please. The world is desperate for good listeners and people who know how to ask questions. That's gonna be in the next episode. We're gonna talk a little bit about EQ. And man, there is a drought of people with EQ right now. My my goodness.

SPEAKER_01 15:44

And you're actually, I mean, you're speaking to the world's population, but since youth pastors listen to this, that's who you're speaking to.

SPEAKER_00 15:50

Yeah, I just feel like it's not the you show. Like as a youth pastor, I think sometimes we feel the pressure to like carry all this energy and be the life of the party, which we are, right? Like, I can be that person, but ask a question, listen, care. Don't just like, hey, joke, high five, moving on, you know. Um, so it's just your future self will thank you for that because then you'll have something real that your ministry is built off of. And that kind of environment is the type of environment that other people want to invite people to. You know, they know it deep down of like this is where this is real. Um, and in a culture that isn't real and not very authentic, like it's so funny. Someone in the comments said, You say nobody you can't trust anyone online, said two people online in California. Totally. Yeah, I hear that. I spend time online and it's just so hard to know what's real and what's not, you know, even reviews for things and you know, like everything seems like the greatest thing in the world until it's not, you know, everyone's paid to say that. And it's just like, can you trust anyone? And so, just like students coming into our space and finding authentic relationship and real people who know how to make eye contact and listen and care just breeds closeness that they can't find anywhere else. And we model that for them too, which is huge. I feel like our youth group right now is in such a sweet space of very deep, authentic, affectionate relationships. And I think that is because that's what the leaders are modeling to the students. Like this is a place where you're going to be uh affectionately loved and cared for and seen, and you will get attention here, like real and good attention. And my leaders are so good at that, and then the kids kind of uh spread that encouragement to each other, and I witness it all the time. Just like I overheard one of my students, Sawyer, today, like say to a girl that I don't think she's very good friends with, but like, oh, I heard you singing the other day, and you just have an amazing voice, like you're so good at that. And another one of our students like choreographed this whole airband, and the girls were saying, Wow, like thank you so much. You're such a good dancer. Like the cattiness isn't there, the competition isn't there. They just authentically love each other, I think, because the leaders have modeled it so well to them. Like, this is how we treat people. Like, whatever you're seeing online, that's not real human relationship. Let me show you what is, and it's doing really well.

Study To Teach With Depth

SPEAKER_00 18:43

Number four, study. Your future self will thank you so, so, so much if you study. My dad still is a professor. I think I've mentioned this before, and he teaches all kinds of different classes. And my whole life, you know, he would be upstairs and I'd be like, What are you doing? He'd be like, studying, studying, studying. And I'm like, Why are you studying? Like, I'm the one in school. Because I think, and he gets rave reviews from every student he's ever had. Like, I've read some of them online, and it's amazing because he's always learning himself. He's in his 70s and he's still we think. We think we don't really know. He's a man of mystery. Uh, and he's still learning, still growing, still reading, still researching, like he never has ever stopped. And he's so sharp, so smart, knows so much. And so he has so much to offer his students all the time about everything. So be a student of the word of God, of theology, of students, of youth ministry, of culture. People who lead and teach should always be growing their knowledge base. It just makes you a much more interesting teacher, and it just makes you a sharper and better leader. Because when you think better and you think broader, you teach better and you are just more interesting to listen to. And when there is something in your voice, tone, and delivery, when you are learning something, you can deliver it so much more authentically. So, like, you know, we do a series maybe that I find on Life Church, but I bring all my own knowledge, experience, and research to the table and get to tell the students, you know, like things that I not everything I know kids need to know. I know that, but it just rounds out your teaching so well to because I don't know if this happens to you guys when you teach, but like random stuff will pop in my head that I'm learning that I didn't necessarily think was related to my message until I until I start talking, and then I'm like, yeah, and then you know, I heard this story or read this thing, or did you know scientists have discovered this, or here's where blah, blah, blah, or atheists believe this, and it just kind of starts to round out. And when you know the culture really well, you can speak to the voice of the culture as your like opposite, like you can understand what people will start to say or think next. Yeah. Like you give a point and then you say, I know what you guys are thinking, blah, blah, blah, blah. Tim Keller was a genius at that because his church, Redeemer Church, was in New York, and he knew the mind and the culture of the New Yorker so well that as he preached, he would push back on himself. Well, in New York, you know, we value this, and I know what you're thinking. How can you say that? And then, but here's what God's word so he would do both sides of the conversation. Because he knew the New Yorker. So do you know, like when deconstruction was a really big thing? You know, do you know the deconstructor and what they're gonna say to each one of your points? Like, hey, I said this. And if you're deconstructing or know someone who has, you might think this. And here's why, here's where I can meet you. And it makes you much more of a relevant speaker. Does that make sense? Thanks you look like you're really confused.

SPEAKER_01 22:29

Well, it's my normal look.

SPEAKER_00 22:32

I like it. Hey, quick question for

Coaching Program And Next Steps

SPEAKER_00 22:35

you. Have you ever felt like you are working really hard in your youth ministry every week, but you don't know what the next step is or how to grow your youth ministry? Well, you are not alone. And that is exactly why we created our course and coaching program called Youth Ministry Growth Accelerator. Inside the program, we're gonna walk you step by step through strategies, systems, leadership principles that help ministries grow, both in size and in health. This isn't just theory, it's the exact framework we've used and taught to youth pastors all over the country and even globally. In addition to the course and coaching, you will also have the opportunity to join a cohort community where you can meet with other youth leaders who are on the same journey to encourage each other, share ideas, and stay accountable as you put things into practice. So if you're looking for a clearer path to grow your ministry, head over to grow your youth ministry.com to see everything that's included. Once again, that's growyouryout ministry.com. All right, let's get back to the episode.

Pray Because Ministry Is Spiritual

SPEAKER_00 23:39

Okay, and number five and lastly, pray. Pray, pray, pray, pray, pray, pray, pray. Why? Because no matter what you do, no matter how good of a youth pastor you are, no matter how prepared you are, there are things and elements what we do is highly spiritual, right? It's spiritual work, and what you do, like you can't control every result. There's just no way. Like, I love this Proverbs 21:31. You guys are probably could memorize or have this verse memorized. The horse is made ready for the day of battle, but victory rests with the Lord. And I love that because it's like we do our due diligence. This is not an excuse for checking out of laziness, of putting your feet up. Our effort is 100% not in vain, but there's a million things outside of our control. You know, summer camp is a perfect example. I dot every I, I cross every T. I am like run a tight ship. Let it not be said that if this thing fails, it was because I was an idiot, right? I tried to do everything 100% accuracy. However, I can't control every driver out on the road. I can't control the wild animals out in the mountain. I can't control like the tires on the vehicles and what they run over. I can't control the germs that might spread throughout camp. I can't control a lot of things. That is why prayer is so, so, so important in youth ministry because there's so many elements outside of our control that despite our best efforts, we are fools to think that we can produce success every single time just because we are good at our job or smart or funny or wise or whatever it might be. You can't. The enemy would love to take us out. That's why I started by saying you have to be the steward of your health because the enemy would love to take you down and make you into a fool in front of the whole world or in front of your whole church or in front of your family and congregation is like, oh, another one bites the dust. Guess she couldn't hack it, you know? And so we already have a target on our back. You are a minister of the gospel of Jesus Christ. There's a lot working against you. They would love to the enemy and his little minions would love to take your ministry down, would love to take your church down. That's spiritual. So we have to throw spiritual weapons at it as well. It can't just be an Excel spreadsheet and a contract and some dodgeballs. And, you know, it has to be spiritually. You need to defend your ministry spiritually as well. So give it over to God. Give your ministry over to God. My favorite quote is prayerlessness may be our greatest sin because of who it says we think is in charge.

SPEAKER_01 26:57

Amen. Strong stuff. I would also add the quote. I've quoted before on this, and I still don't remember who originally said it, but work like you are in charge, but pray like someone else is. Obviously, that being God. But yeah, we have another episode I would direct you guys to. We did one all about organizational and um leadership habits to just help you through productivity. So make sure you check that

Community Comment And Closing

SPEAKER_01 27:18

out. Okay, this is a community comment of the day. This comes from SBC 409, who says, It's a shame that I came across this channel for the first time. Such quality content. Yeah, actually, as I'm reading that, I was like, It's a shame that I came across this channel. Period.

SPEAKER_00 27:33

It's a shame that I came across this channel.

SPEAKER_01 27:36

I think it means like just now. Um that's how I originally took it.

SPEAKER_00 27:39

Then the second thing I go with my instinct on this one.

SPEAKER_01 27:43

So thank you. No, I think that's such quality content. Ends well on a high note. So thank you.

SPEAKER_00 27:49

Hey, we love that.

SPEAKER_01 27:50

Thank you guys so much for watching and listening.

SPEAKER_00 27:53

And we'll see you next time if that's where you feel like you're headed.

SPEAKER_01 27:56

Yeah, absolutely. Um what? Number one podcast for helping you grow a filthy filtheet.

SPEAKER_00 28:06

Are you laughing, GF?

SPEAKER_01 28:08

For some reason I kind of I don't know. Are we starting over? I think so. It's like funny to me.