What I Wish I Would Have DONE SOONER as a Youth Pastor!

The time to grow a healthy, thriving youth ministry is NOW...let's work together to make it happen! Check out GrowYourYouthMinistry.com for more info *** You can love students and have a huge heart for youth ministry and still feel like you’re falling behind as a youth pastor. I’ve been there, and I’ve made plenty of mistakes the hard way. In this episode, we will be sharing 5 things I wish I’d made earlier in youth ministry, the kind that would have saved time, lowered stress, and helped grow a healthier youth group faster.  Don't make these same mistakes!

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You may also enjoy these episodes:

(#164) Why You Need Multiple Speakers in Your Youth Ministry

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Transcript

Faithfulness Over Proving Yourself

SPEAKER_01 0:00

I finally came to the conclusion, like, look, God has called me to this ministry. All he asks for me is to be faithful. And one of our senior pastors said something I will never forget in ministry or in life. You have nothing to prove and no one to impress. I really only need to care about one person's opinion about whether I'm doing a good job or not. God has called me, God has equipped me. I am going to be faithful and I don't really need to worry about what anybody else is doing. Today we're talking about five things that I wish I would have done earlier in my ministry as a youth pastor.

SPEAKER_00 0:45

Welcome to the Ministry Coach Podcast, the number one podcast for helping you grow the size and health of your youth ministry. If this is the first time we're meeting, my name is Jeff Lascola, and this is Kristen Lascola.

Why The Early Years Get Wasted

Take Leadership Development Seriously

SPEAKER_01 0:56

And today we are talking about some things I wish I would have done sooner, reflecting back at my first youth pastor job. And maybe youth pastor is too strong of a term here because my first job in ministry, I think that's where we'll start. And I was not a youth pastor, I was an intern. And so some of this will go back as far as things I wish I would have done differently, just getting started in youth ministry. Because as an intern, I was still speaking and teaching and leading from the front and doing events. And I think there's just things like, you know, like when you think of how much money you made as a teenager, and you're like, what do I have to show for it? Like I'll speak for myself. I've had a job since I was 15, yet I wasted all my money on shopping, fast food, fast food, and going to the movies and expensive coffee. And I never had a dollar to show for it. I spent every single thing I made because I wasn't really thinking of the future. That sounded very boring. And, you know, you're hanging out with your friends all the time. So taking that same concept and thinking, man, what a waste of an investment opportunity. You know, like if you had just invested a little at 16 years old or 17, and then thinking about if I had just invested a little bit more in my leadership and in my training and locked in a little bit more in my early years of youth ministry, A, I probably would have had a steeper growth trajectory. And I think I would probably have more to show sooner for my leadership, you know. Um, but when you kind of squander those first couple years, just like, I don't know, I'm just showing up and hanging with the kids, not really thinking much about it. And all of a sudden you're like, oh, like I'm doing this. You know, it's like, darn it, what a waste of a couple of years. So I think the first thing I wish I would have done differently early on in youth ministry is got intensely educational about my leadership. I think part of the problem was I didn't see myself as a leader. Like, I think that was a title. Like, these are students, these are leaders. Just categorically, I was a leader, but I don't think I saw myself as I am someone with leadership potential.

SPEAKER_00 3:25

Leading people.

SPEAKER_01 3:26

Yeah. It was just like, well, I'm not a student, so the other default role here is a leader. I guess that's what I am. And I'm not an adult, so still barely an adult. And yeah, I just feel like my if I hadn't really honed in on getting really serious about educational leadership and development with myself earlier, like as an intern, I think I could have like not like it would have changed us so much. I would have gone excelled faster or something like that in terms of like promotions. But I think I would have not wasted probably those first two or three years in ministry. I think I just coasted way too much. I saw youth ministry as something just fun and lighthearted and a place where you met other young adults, you know, like all the leaders are your friends, and maybe you have a crush on a boy. And like it just felt like the leader culture was just more what I was interested in for a time, rather than like, all right, like let's be a leader right now. Um like it was no big deal, like just being a leader is easy, right? And in my 18-year-old defense, like there were much fewer resources than there are now. And I think I've talked about that on a couple episodes sprinkled in of just like, where did you even go to be developed as a leader? Of course, there was leadership books out there, but something being specific for youth ministry, you really had to go out of your way to find a magazine or something. Like it wasn't like it is now. So I think looking back on it though, I just did not take the leadership part of ministry seriously. It was like I loved students, I was here for students, I was showing up to everything I was supposed to show up to, but I think my growth was a little stunted because I only learned things almost by mistake. You know what I mean? Like, oh, don't do that, that makes parents mad, or oh, don't do that, you could get in trouble, or oh, don't do that because that makes your boss mad. Like it was like not like trial and error or everything? Yeah, like we call it uh our church dumb tax, meaning like you had to pay the dumb tax on it, meaning you did it and paid for it, and now you know better. And so it wasn't like preemptive, like, oh, okay, I know all this leadership stuff. And it's just like maybe you're like me and you're just sort of thrown into it, like not in a bad way, like we're not gonna help you, but more just like no, they saw gifts in you, and or you know, for you guys listening, saw gifts in you and thought you would be great at this.

SPEAKER_00 6:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:26

And we and we need somebody, so totally, and it was just sort of like, here you go, you're you're doing this. Yeah. So I think I wish I would have really locked into okay, how to be a good leader, not just here I am hanging out with kids and cleaning up. Bye, you know, it was it was, I don't know. I probably could have done a lot better job. Like, I always look back at to like they hired me like when I was that young. I don't really know that I brought a whole lot to the table. Like, I just remember going to Starbucks a lot, playing Foursquare a lot.

SPEAKER_00 7:07

And you were really good at those two things, though.

Team Teaching To Reduce Prep

Using Free Sermon Frameworks

SPEAKER_01 7:09

I guess. Like it was like that working harder, hardly working kind of thing. And it was like we were good with the students, they liked us and looked forward to seeing us, but I don't know that it would have been like our contribution would have been missed in terms of workload, you know? And I wish I had done more. So thank you for not giving up on me, Travis. Um, and seeing through my young immaturity. I wish I had given you more leadership back then. So thank you. And then number two, now this is now moving into more of like a youth pastor phase. I really wish I would have done team teaching earlier. So right now I have a team of like three consistent teachers, myself included. So me plus two others. And then I have like some fringe people that will come in once in a while, like maybe two or three of those kinds of people that don't speak regularly, they do it once in a while. And I think the team teaching thing for me was huge because I used to feel like the second I was done teaching for the weekend, all of a sudden it was time to start prepping for the new message. And I remember one of my like mentors early on, he was like our executive pastor, and he would meet with us once in a while. And I told him, like, oh my gosh, this teaching load is killing me. It takes me so much time. He goes, Well, don't you just save your messages? And I thought about it, like, I A needed a better saving system because it was kind of like, Well, I don't need these notes anymore, you know, they're all out taking up space, clutter. But also, sometimes when you revisit your notes, you've grown, you've changed, cultures change, and it's not like you can't teach it anymore. It's still biblical truth, but the way you would teach it would be very different. Yeah, and so it wasn't always like, oh yeah, I just rinse and repeat. Like sometimes I look at my old notes and it's not like these are false. It was more like, uh, I don't think I'd say it quite like that. Yeah where I'm at in my relationship with God now. But at least like the framework is there, the framework was there, and I knew what he was saying, but still, like sermon prep took just a very disproportionate amount of time. And as a youth pastor, like, yes, our sermons are important. Like doing the word of God justice, we've done a ton of episodes on teaching and stuff like that. But thinking of how many hours it would take me to prep a sermon and then still have so many other ministry responsibilities to do, it was like so disproportionate. So having a teaching team, I think has really helped like me. A, my talks are better now because I'm not on teaching fatigue. Like when it's my turn, I'm like, ooh, I can be creative and I have illustrations, not like, I don't know, I'm going on in an hour, let me chat GPT this. And it wasn't even it, we haven't even been using that for that long. It was more just like, I don't know, here we go. To write your message, chat GPT. Like, if you need like a last minute, like, give me four things I can tell students about prayer, go, you know? And so, like, I feel like it's given me more time to like really make my messages the best they can be because I'm not in this like dizzying rotation and like always teaching, always teaching, always teaching, and it puts you in the position too to develop other leaders and coach them and bring out gifts in other people, and having a breadth of different voices for students is great. You know, we have male and female teachers and like all different types of people, walks of life, and it's just great. The students get to hear from everybody, but for me personally, it just like took a huge load off my plate because teaching and teaching prep, I mean, that's intense, heady work. It's not task, it's like you've really got to get in the zone and come up with connections and illustrations, and you know, it all has to sync up and make sense, and then you have to be able to deliver it very well. Like it's just very time-consuming work. So if you don't have a team teacher yet, even if you could have someone else teach for you once a month, I think that's huge. Or if you don't have that option, like do a like an alpha youth series video once a month or something, just something to break it up from this cycle of I just finished a message, time to prep the next one, you know. That was big for me, anyways. Um, and then number three, kind of along the same lines of sermon prep, because like I said, it used to take me so long, using a platform like the open network at Life Church. I feel like I say that so often, but it was such a game changer for me to not have to build a sermon from the ground up every single time. It was just like that is grueling work to do very regularly. And that's what I was doing for years. I was building sermons from the ground up, and I was the primary teacher teaching every single week, multiple times a week, because midweek, multiple weekend service programs. And then if we had a student leadership meeting, then I was teaching again at that, and it was just that's a lot of teaching. Um, maybe I was at the local Christian club on a Tuesday teaching at lunch, you know. So having a platform to help you just jump off into the content and a little bit of framework, like giving you a head start of just, hey, here's a graphics package, here's a title, here's a theme, here's some verses now go.

SPEAKER_00 13:14

For free, right?

SPEAKER_01 13:15

For free. It is ridiculous. I don't know how I found it, but I think just one day, maybe it was the Holy Spirit leading my click route, you know, to get there. But all of a sudden, I'm like, what? This is an existence. It felt too good to be true. I remember feeling like eventually they're gonna block me and then ask me for my credit card information and say, someone behind the paywall and I don't know how I got here. I know, yeah, that's how it felt. Like, you know, I was watching a show on Amazon Prime and I was so into it. And all of a sudden it's like locked. If you want to finish watching this, pay us$30. I'm like, what? I'm like invested now. And I didn't pay for it. I'm like trying to wait them out to see if they'll unlock it. It's like, why was it why? What are you? I see what you did there. Exactly. How dare you, Amazon Prime? So I felt like that was what was gonna happen to me with Life Church. I'm like, you can sign on from different computers and different IP addresses. It's been at least 10 years that I've been using it. And honestly, they ask for your email, and I thought, great, here we go. No, it's just for your login. They have never once sent me an email.

SPEAKER_00 14:29

I've gotten emails from them. Not very rarely, though. I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't think they're about your spam or something.

Bring Medical Help To Events

SPEAKER_01 14:36

Maybe who knows? But even if they were gonna send me an email, whatever, it is genius, and it cut down my time so much to give me some other things to do. I remember trying to, I am no graphic designer, and I'd go on like clip art. Oh, what did I use? PickMonkey Monkey. That was the old one. People use Canva now, but I would go on PickMonkey and I'd be like, How am I still doing this? Like, this is trash, number one. Number two, what a waste of my time. And there you go. You download the sermon graphics, bada bing, bada boom, easy peasy. So highly, highly, highly recommend. Um, the fourth thing that I wish I had done sooner, most of these are time-saving things, but always bringing a sort of like medical/slash security person with us. We've talked about that at youth group, and so yes, but also I bring them with us to camps and with us to events, and that is extremely helpful. I used to be tied up countless times dealing with a kid with a sprained ankle or dealing with a kid who needed to go home because they didn't feel good. I'm on the phone trying to get a hold of their mom, I'm tracking down ice or ibuprofen for someone, or a kid, you know, they're getting in a fight with another kid. And now I just say, here you go, JP, enjoy. And he deals with it all, and that's what he's there for. He brings his medical bag to camp. If someone takes a medication or has a medical issue, that used to come to me. Yeah. I mean, I just remember, especially at camps, for hours dealing with kids who were dehydrated, kids who uh had a bug bite that was itchy or a really bad sunburn, and it was all me. And I remember one time after camp, I almost we were driving home and I had carried such a mental load for everybody that I almost snapped, like literally mentally almost snapped. I remember someone was talking to me and they were like giving me an excuse about something they didn't know how to do, and I just needed their help, but they needed me to help them help me. And I'm like, I can't, I can't help you help me, just help me. So I just ran away, literally ran because I was going to explode. Because I said, Hey, can you I was in a Walmart parking lot in Sacramento, and they were asking me a question about like something, like I said, hey, I need you to buy this, this, and this. Oh, asking me way too many questions about like, and I'm like, just solve the problem. Oh my gosh, because I was so overwhelmed, so overstimulated. I had been the catch all for everyone's problems all week long. And I remember I just said something like, never mind. And I just started running as fast as I could through the Walmart parking lot because I'm like, if I don't run like Joseph from Potiphar's wife, I will do something I regret, say something I regret. So I just ran. That's what they say. When temptation comes, you run. And I sure did. And they all like I remember later, they're like, Are you okay? I was like, hmm, what do you mean by that? Okay, and that was the last year I didn't have a medic.

SPEAKER_00 18:08

And that was the last time I ran.

Youth Ministry Growth Accelerator Invite

Confidence Without Comparison

SPEAKER_01 18:10

That was the last time I ran. Actually, I ran across the street the other day. I almost got hit by a car. Nice. But I was like, I can't deal with all these medical issues. Then I had to deal with homesick issues, then I had to deal with like equipment malfunction issues, and then I had to deal with food issues, and then I had to deal with it. It was like, if I can take the medical piece off of my plate for a camp or an event or a program or whatever, then yes, I have to do that. So if you don't have somebody like that, I highly recommend you finding someone maybe who is. I mean, in the past I've had firefighters or ex-military or RNs or MDs or whatever, just people that know something about on my team right now is ex- uh helicopter pilot from the military who's seen some things and a firefighter. And they do wonderfully together. Like between the two of them, they can figure it out most things. And man, it's freed me up to actually do my job, not be like this on-call medical semi-professional where I'm like, what? Like it would take all afternoon, all day, especially at camp, you know. I mean, at youth group needs would come up here and there, but it was the camp and events to where it's just like 24 hours a day. Yes. Like we had a girl dislocate her knee and he was on it, took her, you know, like just they they can deal with it and stay calm so that you can deal with the other students. Hey, quick question for you. Have you ever felt like you were working really hard in your youth ministry every week, but you don't know what the next step is or how to grow your youth ministry? Well, you are not alone. And that is exactly why we created our course and coaching program called Youth Ministry Growth Accelerator. Inside the program, we're gonna walk you step by step through strategies, systems, leadership principles that help ministries grow, both in size and in health. This isn't just theory, it's the exact framework we've used and taught to youth pastors all over the country and even globally. In addition to the course and coaching, you will also have the opportunity to join a cohort community where you can meet with other youth leaders who are on the same journey to encourage each other, share ideas, and stay accountable as you put things into practice. So if you're looking for a clearer path to grow your ministry, head over to grow your youth ministry.com to see everything that's included. Once again, that's growyouryout ministry.com. All right, let's get back to the episode. And then lastly, this one's more soft skills rather than hard skills, like we've been talking about. But I wish what I had done sooner in my youth ministry career is find the true source of my confidence. I just look back and I work with some really amazing youth pastors. We're a multi-site church, and so we have a lot of campuses. Every campus has a junior high and high school pastor for the most part, with a couple exceptions. And just sitting in a room like that with some really talented people who are doing some really amazing things. I remember early on feeling like, what am I doing in this room? I do not belong here. And I would go home and overanalyze every single thing I did or said. I'm like, that was so stupid. Why did I say that? Oh my gosh, what if they didn't understand what I meant and they thought I meant this and not that? And like I look like an idiot. Oh my gosh, like it would kill me. I would be thinking about stuff all the time. And I would be like comparing myself to them. Cause you know, like a lot of times youth pastors compare themselves to other youth pastors, like at the church down the street. Right. This was like in our own church, I'm comparing myself because we have so many youth pastors. Nowadays, we've grown, there's like 18 of us or something, 18 pros to compare yourself to. And I don't feel that as much anymore, but I remember being very young in youth ministry and being like, I'm an imposter. Oh my gosh, what am I doing here? Why am I sitting at this table? I'm so stupid. Everything I do is stupid. I have the worst youth group here. Everyone thinks I'm a joke. And I remember every time I would start talking, I would like look at their faces and they always like look, and I was probably imagining this, like they were smirking, like, oh, how cute. Like she thinks she's one of us, you know. And I'd be like, Why? Just keep your mouth shut. And then if I kept my mouth shut, I was like, I have nothing to contribute. I'm so stupid. They probably like, Why are you even here? Like it was a head game. And I just felt like I finally came to the conclusion, like, look, God has called me to this ministry. All he asked for me is to be faithful. And one of our senior pastors said something I will never forget. Not to me specifically, but just in general, he's like, in ministry, or I don't know if he put it in that context, just in life, you have nothing to prove and no one to impress. Maybe it was in ministry. Do you know? You've heard him say that. Okay. Well, he says, you have nothing to prove and no one to impress. And I just remember thinking, yeah, like my job is not to impress other youth pastors or make sure I'm like top dog or like doing like, do they all think I'm doing a good job? I really only need to care about one person's opinion about whether I'm doing a good job or not. And I truly believe that now. Not like, I don't even care what you think, but I do. Like now I really have found my confidence in, hey, God has called me, God has equipped me. I am going to be faithful and I don't really need to worry about what anybody else is doing. Again, if you can learn from someone, great, but not this like deep insecurity that you carry around of like, I don't belong here. Everyone's better at everything, and I'm the worst. And, you know, I just wish I had found the source of that confidence sooner because I for years felt like a total joke, you know, like I just kind of felt like everyone patronized would patronizingly be like, good job, kiddo, buddy, you know, like, and they were just sort of like, oh, like a little pat on the head.

SPEAKER_00 24:49

Like, are she trying?

Wrap Up And Community Comment

SPEAKER_01 24:51

Yeah, I really did. And some of that, like looking back, I don't know, was totally imagined. We were the first off-site campus. We were very small in comparison to the big campus that we had, you know, we were an offshoot of it. And so some of that was true. And I remember little snide remarks, or people are kind of jabbing or making fun of you and all of that. And I did internalize some of that. So some of it was true, but I think I just had to put myself in the position of, yeah, people might think this, or people like it's not totally imagined. But la la la la la, I have a job to do, and I can't worry about what you're thinking. I can't worry about what you're saying, I can't worry about how you view me or my ministry. Like, oh, you're the little guy. Oh, I remember one lady laughing at me once because I was turning in an expense report and I had a Costco purchase on there. And she goes, Oh, you guys are so small, you don't even need to go to Costco, do you? I'm like, yeah. I mean, a family of four needs to go to Costco, lady. But I was like, you're just trying to get your jab in there, you know? And it did hurt. And for years it hurt. And I remember just always like feeling just like head-hung, just walking around, like, we're the lame campus, we're, you know, not doing anything, and just had to stick in there and hang in there and find my confidence elsewhere. But I think it just took me too long to get there. Yeah. You know, I wish I had been able to see the big picture earlier on and just focus in on God's voice, not their voice. I think it took too long. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:36

Well, when you let the air out of all her tires, you probably felt better too. Um, I didn't.

SPEAKER_01 26:42

I didn't.

SPEAKER_00 26:43

I didn't.

SPEAKER_01 26:43

I don't even know which car was hers. I walked around the parking lot for a while, couldn't figure it out.

SPEAKER_00 26:49

So I left. Parking lot full of flat tires. Hey, I'm uh there's an episode I I would guide you guys to was kind of going back to one of the things you're talking about, having other speakers. We've done one talking about that, like kind of raising up other people to speak, but also you might just need somebody or something in a pinch, like if you get sick or whatever. We did an episode all about that, like when it's kind of like a last-minute thing. Um, but make sure you guys check those out. All right, this is a community comment of the day. This comes from Clinton Winkworth, who says, Thank you guys for what you do. As a new youth pastor who has no formal training, your videos are very helpful. It can be overwhelming sometimes, but it's good to be able to get advice from people who have been in the trenches and still are in the trenches. She's in the trenches, I'm out of the trenches.

SPEAKER_01 27:31

I'm still there. Yep. Taught two services this morning, one last night. Have like youth group in two days. Like, I'm still there with you. So it's not like I remember when I used to do youth industry. We're we're in this together, buddy. So I love that comment. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 27:48

Thanks, Glendon. Appreciate it. Appreciate you guys watching and listening. And we'll see you next time.

SPEAKER_01 27:53

The reality is most youth pastors quit within the word.

SPEAKER_00 27:58

Most youth past most youth pastors quit. Now you're smiling at me though. The reality is most youth most youth pastors. The reality is most youth past guy. Well, you know what I'm trying to say.