Youth Pastor Leadership Training - 5 Tips for Success!

🎉 300th Episode Giveaway Info!! 🎉 (Details below!) The fastest way to burn out in youth ministry is simple: make yourself the bottleneck. When every decision, every problem, and every awkward moment has to run through you and only you, your leaders stop leading and you start carrying a student ministry you were never meant to carry alone.  In this episode, we share five leadership tips that help youth pastors build a youth ministry that can thrive in a healthy church environment.

We break down what “trust” actually means on a volunteer team, beyond character and good intentions. Trust looks like initiative, confident decision-making, problem-solving inside your ministry culture, and leaders who can act on your behalf without going rogue. We also talk about the underrated youth ministry leadership filter of chemistry: having people on your team you actually like. When the tasks are hard, relationships are what keep the mission fun, sustainable, and healthy.

If you got value from this, subscribe, share it with a fellow youth ministry leader, and leave a ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️  review so more youth pastors can find the show. 

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300th Episode Giveaway!!  To enter the giveaway, email us at MinistryCoachPodcast@gmail.com and put "FREE300" in the subject line or body of the email.  Also, please include your name, church and location as well.  Full giveaway details, extra entries, rules and regulations can be found in the description of this episode's YouTube version here: https://youtu.be/YJYC8_uMYok

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Start the school year with a healthy, thriving youth ministry...let's work together to make it happen! Check out GrowYourYouthMinistry.com for more info - or feel free to email us at MinistryCoachPodcast@gmail.com with any questions!

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You may also enjoy these episodes:

(#058) Leadership Skills for Youth Pastors - 9 Effective Leadership Traits

(#080) Youth Pastor Leadership: 8 Skills You Need to Master

(#131) How to Level Up Your Leadership Skills in Youth Ministry

(#224) 5 Leadership Habits of Highly Effective & Visionary Youth Pastors

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Transcript

When Everyone Depends On You

SPEAKER_01 0:00

The most taxing times of youth ministry leadership is when all eyes are on you for every single thing, every single problem, every single decision, and people are frozen in your absence and they can't make a decision. That is a recipe for burning for the main leader. Today we're talking about five game-changing leadership tips for youth masters.

SPEAKER_03 0:35

Welcome to the Ministry Coach Podcast, where we bring you weekly tips and tactics to help you fast track the growth and health of your youth ministry. My name is Jeff Lascola, and this is Kristen Lascola.

SPEAKER_00 0:46

I'm laughing at the way you said. Podcast.

SPEAKER_03 0:50

A podcast for the youth past it.

SPEAKER_01 0:53

Um, I'm feeling so much more normal this week. So if you notice an improvement in my I noticed an improvement in your voice.

SPEAKER_03 1:01

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:02

Yeah. It's less raspy. I think my muscles are feeling good. My brain is feeling good. So I'm excited for today's episode. And a

Camp Pressure And Leadership Limits

SPEAKER_01 1:10

lot of it was kind of birthed through my camp experience because today we're talking about leadership tips for youth pastors. And my leadership is very much tested at camp. Like it will take you to your knees. And literally everything went perfectly for us this year. Guys, update Enterprise came through. 215 passenger vans hot off the press and ready to go. I only needed to rent, well, I rented two 15s. I borrowed a 15 from someone else and I rented an SUV and with them the rest were personal vehicles. So my SUV and my 215s came through flawlessly. I couldn't believe it. Hallelujah. Thank you, Jesus. Everything went great at camp. And even with everything going perfect, I would have given I gave this year a 10 out of 10. It was our best year yet. Still, I am brought to my knees because there are still things I have to do. And they're not bad things. It's just you will be brought to your physical limit, your mental limit, your emotional limit, spiritual limit. You are, yeah, it's a lot. So it's like 108 people needing something from you. All at once. All at once.

SPEAKER_02 2:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:26

And so I kind of thought about well, if I had like kind of based on the week I had, had to look at leadership and give someone advice of like, how could you stay in the game? How could you continue to do this? How could you enjoy what you're doing? What does a youth pastor, like what leadership things do they need to withstand the hardest of times when you are brought to your knees? Obviously, it's the Holy Spirit. Me and my friend were talking about this last night. She went to our high school camp. Uh, her husband um drove a boat for them. And she was like, it's the Holy Spirit that sustains us. She's like, I there's so many things I would never do in normal life that I had to do, or like the pace and different things that would never be something I think I could pull off. Somehow at camp I can do it. And I'm like, same. Like I was just like, boom, boom, firing on adrenaline and Holy Spirit and Jesus. And then you get home and you're like, I'm gonna melt. Like, and what got me through on a leadership level, obviously it was the Lord, but on a leadership level, and that's kind of what I want to talk about today. So, number

Tip 1 Trust Leaders In Absence

SPEAKER_01 3:34

one, have people on your team, just not I'm not talking about camp specifically, although that helps, but just in general, because my leaders at Youth Group are the ones I bring with me to camp. It's the same people. So have people you trust on your team. And here's what I don't mean by trust. Like, I trust that you're a stand-up guy. I trust your morals, I trust your character. Sure, that's important. But a deeper level of leadership is here's what I mean by trust it is the type of leader that they are. Like, I trust the kind of leader you can be. Not like I feel like you're a decent person and love the Lord and are like upstanding in your personal life. That's just clearing the bar, right? That's not like good for you. Like, yes, that is a given. So, what I'm talking about actually accelerates our leadership in some different ways. And by trust, I mean more that you can lead in my absence. The most taxing times of youth ministry leadership is when all eyes are on you for every single thing, every single problem, every single decision. And nobody and people are frozen in your absence and they can't make a decision. That is that is a recipe for burnout for the main leader. So I mean, trust that you can lead in my absence, trust you to make good decisions. A lot of times, the decision that I would have made, one of my staff said that to me once when he's been working for me for like six years, and he said, I always, when I'm faced with a decision and you're not there, I always think, What would an idiot do? And then I don't do that thing. What would an idiot, I mean Kristen, do? And that's what he said. Like, what would I try to like put my Kristen hat on? What would she do in this situation? And I try to execute in a way that I think would make you proud or that you would do. And it doesn't not like I'm saying, be exactly like me, but I think he just means, what decision would you like give the stamp of approval on, knowing how you lead? You know, like not him not wanting, and I have really much, I very much appreciate this. He doesn't want to let go rogue. Well, if I were in charge, I'd do this. And I think this is the way it should be. But he's like, uh, this is her style of leadership. I think she would go this direction. This is what I'm gonna do. So people who can make good decisions when you're not there, people that you trust to solve problems. Leadership fatigue for me comes when nobody can solve a problem except for me. And it's like, I only have so many problem solving, like energy bars in my brain, you know, per day. And then I get on problem solving fatigue and I just look at it, go, guys, I don't know. I literally looked at four students on Tuesday night. It was two boys, two girls, and they were siblings, like one was a sister and a brother on each side, and they were fighting about who was sitting where and what, and it was the end of the night. And I just go, guys, I'm not your mom. I don't care. You're gonna have to work it out. Like, and I just walked away. I'm like, I can't solve this problem for you right now. Because leaders get fatigued when no one else can solve a problem. So, do you have the kind of people on your team that are problem solvers and know the culture enough that they know how to solve the problem within your culture, right? Trust them to take initiative when needed. We just got a new volunteer. He's a dad of one of our students. Incredible initiative. Anytime, like, all right, we need team A over here, team B over here, and the kids are like, What? He's like, All right, I need a line. Everyone, line up. And they just like, yes, sir. And they listen and he he's mobilizing in the direction we're going, but he's on the ground and he's with them and he's making things happen. I didn't ask him to do that. That's just the kind of person he is. Like, thank you. Oh, wow, you're a good one to have on the team. And then confident leaders, and that is a point of trust for me is that you're confident in your leadership that you can step in when needed, you can solve a problem. You don't wait for the green light from me. And having the people that you trust on a team, it's like you don't ever feel afraid, like, oh, what are they gonna do or say? It's like, well, we're all kind of sharing one brain and culture and heartbeat here. I'm very confident that you're gonna make a good decision. And those are the kind of people you want on your team, people you can trust to lead. Because yes, you might be the head leader, maybe you're the youth pastor, the youth leader, whatever it might be, but you can, we always say you can't lead alone. You need a team. And what I mean by that is it's not just like they're off leading small groups. It's no, they actually have to lead along with you. So who are the people that you trust to be able to do that? To take the youth ministry culture, take leadership, and then deploy and execute and figure out and problem solve and maybe tell you about it later. Hey, these two boys are fighting. Here's what we decided to do. We separated them and put one in another, and I'm gonna go talk to him in a few minutes. And I love when I hear about it later. Like, thanks for not telling me. I need to know. But it wasn't like, well, I don't know. We can't do anything until Kristen gets here because I don't know what to do. It's like if you're a leader, you should be able to solve, you can't maybe solve every single problem. I can't even solve every problem. I have to call my boss, you know, on some of them. But you should have an enough trust in your team that they could execute a decision, mobilize something, take initiative, be confident in your absence or on your behalf. And I just noticed that so much at her camp is that like there was an issue with one of the girls. She was struggling with something, and I didn't even know about it until it got to the point where the leader needed support. She's like, hey, we've been working on this for a while. I think we need some extra help. Like, what would you suggest now? And I'm like, wow, you've already been working on it for 30 minutes. And she had an update for what was going on, and then it was time for me to take the ball because then it got a little too above her, like now what kind of, you know, uh threshold. And so we solved it together. And that was great. I was glad she had already put in the legwork and then come to me. That is perfectly done. Yeah, the worst years have been when everyone's in a line and can't move and they just freeze until I go boop, activate and they like go and do something. It's like, no, no, no. Like, what culture did I create that you guys feel like I have to push your on button for you to activate toward something? You know? So that's number one. Have people on your team that you trust, the type of person or the type of leader they are. Again, character, all that's a given. Trust in the sense that they can lead, right?

How To Spot The Right Fit

SPEAKER_03 10:52

How are you kind of like vetting some of that though? I mean, you know, like someone comes and says, I want to check out the ministry, you know, blah, blah, blah. Like, how do you is there a litmus test you put them through to know those types of things?

SPEAKER_01 11:05

I wish there was so that I could answer that more clearly. I can tell pretty quickly whether they're our people or not, whether they're a good fit, whether they'll understand our culture, whether they'll fit in with our co you know what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_03 11:20

A lot of that probably comes with the more time you've spent in the ministry, I guess, the more honed in you are on who you're looking for.

SPEAKER_01 11:27

And honed in, they are honed in on us if it's a good fit. Like, I feel like we attract people like the guy I was just talking about.

SPEAKER_03 11:37

Right.

SPEAKER_01 11:38

Like, I had a guy walk in and he was just like, eh, like breaks on 180. He's like, This is too wild. I can't do this. Like, these kids are so disrespectful. I'm like, no, I said they're just junior hires. They're just it is high energy, I will admit that. And he was like, absolutely not. He could self-select, I don't see myself here. And then the guy I was talking about earlier, he's I think my newest leader, but it's like, you're like our long-lost brother. Where have you been this whole time? You, you were part of this family, and we just, you know, like you moved and then came back because he fits us so perfectly. So I think people that fit our culture are kind of attracted to the ministry, and people that aren't are kind of like, that doesn't seem like something I would be a part of. And then if they're interested or their name gets thrown out, I will pursue or not pursue them based on whether I could see them fitting with us or not. And I just get a sense of like, uh, I think you'll pick up the culture quickly and connect and do well, or I don't know. And I usually don't pursue those people, or I try to direct them to another ministry, you know, where I think they could be a great fit. But it's just now because I've been doing it so long, a sense that I get. So really spend time with people. If you're not there yet, you're like, oh, nice for you. I don't have a sense of people yet. But um spend time with them, ask them questions. Just and you're not even really looking for the answers to the questions. You're just, I'm more like, what are you like? You know, what do you think is funny? What do you not think is funny? Like, what's your personality? What's your fun threshold? What's your capacity for shenanigans? What's your are you here because the youth today don't know anything about the like, you know, are you just here because you want to wiggle your way in to do a theological seminary with my students? And you know, you can just just let people talk and then you find out quite yourself, everything you need to know. Just ask them questions, let them go, and you'll probably get a sense whether this is the fit or not that you were looking for.

Tip 2 Build A Team You Like

SPEAKER_01 13:54

So, okay, number two. So I said having people you trust on your team, having people you like.

SPEAKER_03 14:01

Don't trust. Oh, sorry, I thought we were going somewhere else. People you like. That makes more sense.

SPEAKER_01 14:07

Yes. And you don't even have to trust them as long as you like them. That's more important to me. That's where the test comes in. Are we having fun? Period. That's all I'm worried about. So I would, I do want to trust you, but I also want to like you. You know, I've said on episodes before, there's a lot of things I don't want to do, but I like who I'm doing it with, or I don't like what I'm doing, but I like who I'm doing it with. And, you know, I have those moments all the time. Like we had a couple things at camp where I'm just like, all right, here we go. Come on, team, we gotta get it done. And we did, and we did it together. And one of the hardest nights was we took a our rafting guides make most of the meals for us. Well, to save money, I took a meal back from them and I said, we'll do this one. And we kind of overshot it, and it was delicious. And the kids came back for fourths, fifths, and sixths. We ran out of food. Everyone loved it, but to pull it off was quite a fiasco, and you know, but while we're there sweating, timing things, like, oh my gosh, we were doing it together and having so much fun. And for a lot of my leaders, that was the highlight. They're like, remember when we were making the hash browns together, and remember, and the bacon grease was going over and we had music on and we were laughing, and it was just synergy and fun. And so it was like this breakfast for dinner thing we thought was a good idea. We need to rethink the logistics. However, we're having so much fun because we're together. And one of my leaders, she's like, and then I went home and I was just like cooking by myself, and it was so boring, and I missed you guys, and we were together for like so long. I'm like, I know. And it was just cool because we like we genuinely like each other and we genuinely have a friendship. So camp, the overwhelming moments are broken by laughter and a hug and uh someone, you know, an encouraging word, or a fun night where all the students go to bed and we stay up late and have hot chocolate together and do something fun and are just dying laughing. And it's just those are the moments where I'm like, I love you guys, you know, like maybe the students put us through the ringer or the weather put us through the ringer or something like really got to us. But at the end of the day, like, you know, we have like a little girl camp and then the boys sleep somewhere else, but like just being in that little girl camp, like you just knew, like, oh, like you guys all have my back. I have your back. Like, we want the best for each other, and we have so much fun. And like one of my leaders, like, how do we keep getting so lucky? Like, why do we have such an awesome team? And one of the guys was like, Because you guys attract it. He was kind of an outsider, he was like a dad along for the ride, but he was like watching, he goes, You guys attract it, you attract this amazing. And so it's just, yeah, I want to be with people I like.

SPEAKER_03 17:10

And you're kind of alluding to it originally, and then you kind of went away from it. But like saying doing the hard task, if you're doing a hard task with people you don't like, it makes it unbearable. Unbearable. And when you do like them, it's like, well, like you're saying, you know, I may not like what I'm doing in this particular moment, but because I like who I'm doing it with, I can get through this.

SPEAKER_01 17:30

Yes, I know. And that's why one of my leaders, Jesse, doesn't come anymore, and he was like brilliant at that. All the horrible tasks, he would do them, and it was just like, Jesse, you're so nice. You know, he would do all we have to do that, and it's horrible. She's like, Do you remember when I chased the bear away? And I just like running through the blackberry bushes, and I was like, You're amazing, you know. Uh, we just have adventures, but we really like each other, and I think that's so important as a leadership tip. I remember once someone like giving me permission, like, hey, like have people on your team you like. And I'm like, wow, I can have that as a qualification. And, you know, like it doesn't mean that like it's not this thing of like, well, have you pleased me? You know, it's just like, okay, we want to have a team that fits together. Chemistry and culture are really important. And I think that's what I mean by like. Like, is it a good fit?

SPEAKER_03 18:33

And it doesn't mean everyone's your BFF, but no, because then a lot of the people too coming in, it's this, I don't want this to sound the wrong way, but it's like they may not be someone that you would normally choose to hang out with outside of ministry or work or whatever.

SPEAKER_01 18:47

Great fit for the team.

SPEAKER_03 18:48

They've work great together, you enjoy their presence and all that stuff. They're different walks of life, different ages, all that stuff. But on the team, it's like such a harmonious fit.

SPEAKER_01 18:58

Yeah. And I think one thing that makes me sad, just to be really honest, is sometimes I see leaders have that one or two people like on their volunteer team that are always working against them, you know? And it's like toxic. So sad because it makes the leader discouraged in a perpetual state of discouragement. And if they're volunteers, that means they can volunteer someone else. If they're not your fan, yeah. It's like, hey, you might not like how I lead or what I do, that's okay. Maybe we could find a better fit for you somewhere else because you still have gifts to share and I want to see you use them. I just don't think I'm the best leader for you. So if there's someone on your team that just makes you always second guess yourself and takes your confidence down or is always criticizing you, and that's actually really common with the people I coach. And it's just like, oh, like sad, that might mean let's come up with a new arrangement that's a win for everybody, because that person's clearly not happy, you know, and then it makes you not happy. So sometimes leaders just aren't a fit, right? You know, for certain volunteers.

Youth Ministry Growth Accelerator Invite

SPEAKER_01 20:10

Hey, quick question for you. Have you ever felt like you were working really hard in your youth ministry every week, but you don't know what the next step is or how to grow your youth ministry? Well, you are not alone. And that is exactly why we created our course and coaching program called Youth Ministry Growth Accelerator. Inside the program, we're gonna walk you step by step through strategies, systems, leadership principles that help ministries grow, both in size and in health. This isn't just theory, it's the exact framework we've used and taught to youth pastors all over the country and even globally. In addition to the course and coaching, you will also have the opportunity to join a cohort community where you can meet with other youth leaders who are on the same journey to encourage each other, share ideas, and stay accountable as you put things into practice. So if you're looking for a clearer path to grow your ministry, head over to grow your youth ministry.com to see everything that's included. Once again, that's growyour youth ministry.com. All right, let's get back to the episode.

Tip 3 Find Your Number Two

SPEAKER_01 21:16

Okay, number three. This one is so important to me. I feel like no matter what size your ministry is, every ministry lead needs a number two, a right hand person, a running mate, a partner, whatever you want to call it. I think that when you do the brunt of the leadership in an echo chamber in isolation, if you do it solo, I think that is like leadership death right there. And it gets so, so lonely. Um, this person doesn't necessarily have to even be paid if your church doesn't have the budget for that. But is there someone that you can use as that? Like confident, or that sounding board, or like that you trust to kind of take the ball and run. Like, hey, I'm gonna go up here and lead dodgeball with these people. You go down here and lead this, and then we'll switch. Or, hey, I have a really important phone call. I'm gonna hand you the microphone. I gotta go deal with an issue. Like, I just feel like every leader needs that like person that they can rely on in a pinch that can lead, that can do things, that can make decisions, that can be their go-to. And I remember the first time I got like my own intern, you know, when I think I had grown the ministry a little bit and they were like, how about an intern? I think I'd gotten up to like 23 kids or something. And I was like, I get an intern. And it was like a game changer, you know. He would come in and, you know, we would, I finally had someone to like, what game should we play? Oh, then we do this and then we do that. And then I could like give some leadership to him, like, okay, no, you go do this, and I do, and I love dividing and conquering. I love that. I am the kind of leader that thinks everything's better when you hold your leadership with an open hand and let people just run in their lane and go for it, not like, well, hold on, hold on. What?

SPEAKER_03 23:16

Like, let me micromanage.

SPEAKER_01 23:17

No, I hate micromanaging. Nothing is good when you micromanage. And then they do things that you're like, oh, that was so good. I never would have thought of that. And and then it's just a landing place for you too, or you're just like, man, like, can you take this conversation or can you take this discipline or can you do this? You know, I'm so fatigued. Yeah, I got you. And just someone that you feel like can be a little bit more on your level that you can pass the ball back and forth when you need to. Cause sometimes leaders, I think, just get so overwhelmed and lonely when they just feel like everything is on my shoulders, like no one's coming for me. Like it just maybe that's just me. Maybe some people love that feeling of like it's mine and I'm the guy. I'm like, oh no, no, no. Like, let's share this, please.

SPEAKER_03 24:05

Like, I am not excited to be like, but even in that instance where I'm the guy or I'm the girl and I want that, there's gonna be that time where it's like, hey, guess what? There's an upset parent that needs your attention immediately. You have to step aside.

SPEAKER_01 24:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 24:18

So does that mean, all right, every time out, time out for the youth group, just stay put. Yeah. And let me deal with this for a half hour. Sure. And then I'll come back. There's always gonna be that time. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:27

And it's like on Tuesday, I got an important phone call right in the middle of a dodgeball game. And I'm like, I have to take this. And so I asked Caleb, I'm like, can you leave my dodgeball around? And he's like, Yep, I got it. And then I came back. He I said, You want me to pop back in? You want to just finish it? He's like, I'm already here. I'm gonna do it. I'm like, sweet. And he wasn't like, you owe me. You know, it's just this great thing where we can pass the ball back and forth. Like he has to leave a little early tomorrow morning for something for a shoot, and I'll be there and I'll take the rest of it. So it's just kind of nice to almost like, for lack of a better, like mom and dad. Like we're both here, we're both present, we both can lead and deal. And it's just, I feel like every youth pastor really needs their number two. So is that like a super volunteer that you can kind of elevate? Could you convince your like leadership to let you have an intern, like for a few hours a week paid? I think it was just something that keeps me uh staying in ministry is having a team team. You know what I mean? Okay, so this is number four. You have

Tip 4 Empower Without Hovering

SPEAKER_01 25:38

to actually empower people to do these things. So you can't just like some this is a leadership pet peeve where you give people stuff and we touched on micromanagement a second ago, but then you micromanage the heck out of it. Like, okay, for example, we had to do that breakfast for dinner. I told the boys, it was all boys like that were doing the brunt of the cooking, and then the girls were doing the fruit. I said, We need hash browns, bacon, eggs, pancakes. Oh my gosh. I know it was really too much. And I said, Here's this, here's this, here's this, here's how many people were cooking for. And then I just said, now go. And they got in the zone, they got a system between them, they figured it out. They did not need me again. It was like, this is beautiful. But if I had been like one of our leaders was getting on one of their cases, like, you put too much salt in the eggs. No, no, no, too much. And he's like, No, it's not, it's perfect, go away. And I was like, ah, like she's not, she wasn't the leader, so whatever, micromanage, but I was just like, I'm just gonna leave the ball in your court. You figure out the eggs, you figure out the hash browns, and they did, and they did great. And they were reading the directions and planning it all between them. And so I went over here, gave the girls the watermelons. I'm like, all right, we need to cut it into these amounts of pieces. Here's how many kids can have. They got it, they did it. And then I needed to stay out of it. They're adults, they're leaders, they got this. So when you give people things, you have to actually trust them to do it. Like, don't micromanage them. I've seen so many leaders be like, all right, buddy, you're up and I'm giving you this responsibility. Oh, but like, what are you gonna do about this? Right. And what how did you already do this? And then the feedback is my boss doesn't trust me. My boss isn't giving me the reins. My he says he wants me, he says he wants to delegate, but he doesn't act like he wants to delegate because then he hovers and obsesses, and it's his baby, and he can't let it go. And it's like, well, is it gonna be done exactly? Are the eggs gonna be too salty? It turns out they weren't. Everyone loved them. We ran out of eggs, they were the talk of the town, you know. So it's just you really have to empower people to do things. What I some phrases I like to use with people when they're doubting is like, I trust you to make this decision, or they'll say, Well, what should we do? And I say, Well, what do you think? What would you do? Well, I'm here to support you, I'm here to resource you, but you got this. I'm not gonna micromanage you. Well, should we do this or this? Well, what do you like? I always try to get them to like make the decision, and not that I can't be a sounding board. I love a sounding board myself, but I want them to know whatever you decide is gonna be okay and flex that muscle a little bit to make the call. You know, are you gonna decide this or this? Okay, and I get on board with what they decide at camp.

SPEAKER_03 28:30

Like watermelon and eggs. Sounds great. Let's do it. That's all I could think when you're talking about that.

SPEAKER_01 28:37

What?

SPEAKER_03 28:38

It sounds odd. I don't like eggs, so anything with eggs is gonna be fruit with breakfast.

SPEAKER_01 28:43

Okay. There was, did you not hear me say hash browns, bacon, pancreas?

SPEAKER_03 28:49

Yeah, and you said like fruit, and I was like, yeah, that makes sense. But then it was like watermelon, and to me, watermelon is more of a lunch fruit, it's not a breakfast fruit, but that's just me. Go ahead. You do you. I don't like eggs. Nothing goes with eggs. There we go. Salt goes with eggs.

SPEAKER_01 29:08

Anyways, okay.

Tip 5 Stop Majoring On Minors

SPEAKER_01 29:09

Lastly, number five, don't major on the minors. So, as a leader, a leadership tip, don't major on the minors. You look a little confused there, Jeff. What do you think I mean by that? Don't major on the minors.

SPEAKER_03 29:24

Period. Mic drop. Don't make a major deal about the minor issues.

SPEAKER_00 29:29

See, I knew you could come up with this, Jeff. I knew you could think of it on your own. And I did.

SPEAKER_03 29:37

I didn't want to micromanage you through that, through that problem. I did it.

SPEAKER_00 29:43

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 29:44

Yay.

SPEAKER_01 29:45

Yeah, don't get hung up on little things that matter. Sometimes leaders will vent to me about little things that someone did or said or things that rub them the wrong way. And they get really now their focus is like instead of the big picture, the goal, the like why we came. It's like, err, but that person said this to me, and they didn't have a good attitude, and I don't like the way they b, b, but and I always say this it's to one's glory to overlook an offense. That's my favorite verse in the book of Proverbs. And I say, and then we move on. Why? Because it doesn't matter. You gotta be like a duck, you gotta let it roll off your back, roll off your back because it's only gonna distract you from why you're here and what you're doing. And the enemy would love to get you all fired up because of someone's tone and just Jeff.

SPEAKER_03 30:36

I mean, like, do you take your own advice? I feel like you're this whole thing.

SPEAKER_00 30:40

It doesn't count in marriage. I'm talking about leadership.

SPEAKER_03 30:42

Even that, I feel like you always let that stuff bother you. It's hard not to. Uh-oh. I'm gonna get in trouble later.

SPEAKER_01 30:51

Well, it is, but I think I need encouragement for that as well. Of like, don't major on the minors, don't make these little things your focused. Remember why you're here, what you're doing, what you came for, and the goal like God has put before you, not these little side quests of a side look or they whispered this or blah, blah, blah. You know, and I still have to find it in me to rise above some of that stuff of like they didn't mean it, they didn't mean it. And even if they did, who cares? That's not why I'm here. I don't care. That's not part of my goal. Like, I can't let it get to me. Just go, go, go toward the goal, toward the goal, toward the goal. Like, don't get on the side quest. Don't like people are gonna say things they don't mean. People are gonna say things in a way that they didn't mean to, like, can't nitpick every little thing. And if you're a leader, I think it's especially important to not succumb to that level of like you can't be affected on that level, you know, those little gripes, a tone, a look, a whisper. Like a couple years ago, I could hear these girls talking about me, and I think they couldn't, they didn't know I could hear them. So I just like look at them and then they see me look at them, and they're like, And I was like, that was awkward, you know? And I still think about it sometimes, and I'm like, oh gosh, like, oh, like it makes me feel so heavy, like when I know I'm gonna have to see them or interact with them or whatever. And you know, I just have to, I always like rise above. Who cares? That's not why I'm here. People can say or do whatever they want. Like, I have a job to do, I have a goal, I have something that God has asked me to do, and it's not fight with people about weird little drama. It's here to do the goal that he set before me. So stay focused, Kristen. So yeah, I think that's one of the one of the leadership lessons that you have to learn over and over and over and over again. But it is a leadership lesson for longevity to stay in youth ministry as long as possible, to not lose your focus and not get your feelings hurt, like not live in that, you know, like mulling it over and over and over again. Like they were talking about me. Why did they say that? Or why were they mad? It's hard. It is, but I just sometimes, depending on how healthy I am emotionally, I can really succumb to it. And sometimes I can just kind of sweep it off, like whatever, like didn't matter, that's not why I'm here. So it's a it's a lifelong learning process, but it's always my goal to let it roll off.

SPEAKER_03 33:38

Right. You know, like you're saying, if you had a team around you that is very supportive of you, then I think those things can become easier to let go. Whereas if you feel isolated in your ministry, that's a good point. And that comes up, it's really hits hard.

SPEAKER_01 33:52

It does. And I think you hit hit the nail on the head. Like when you feel like you have a soft landing place, like when those girls were talking about me, they looked so embarrassed. But it was like, well, you're two of however many, and I know like I'm gonna go back to wherever we're going, and everyone's gonna be like, yay, like that was so great. You know, it wasn't like it didn't feel like everyone's against me. You know, it was like, oh, that was a weird, isolated, kind of rude thing, but okay. But when, yeah, the majority of your leadership feels supportive and friendship and camaraderie, it's easier to dodge those attacks a little bit more because they're kind of drowned out by all like the support, you know. But if you feel super unsupported, then everything stings, right?

SPEAKER_03 34:43

Yeah, no, it's

Youth Group Food Debate

SPEAKER_03 34:44

good stuff. Um, we have another episode all about leadership habits for highly effective leaders. So make sure you guys check that out. Um, we're gonna try and do another question of the day. Really? This has been a long episode. I know it has. We'll go through it real quick. This is kind of an easy one. So the number one food for youth ministry is obviously what? Pizza. Okay, what is the number two? Donuts. Oh, yeah, probably would be donuts. I was thinking more though for a week, for a uh midweek.

SPEAKER_00 35:11

Tacos.

SPEAKER_03 35:12

Would you say tacos? Would you say it that boringly, or would you have any emphasis? Donuts, tacos. Burgers? Tacos? Just throwing out food.

SPEAKER_00 35:24

I'm throwing out the food we eat.

SPEAKER_03 35:25

I'm asking you what do you think number two would be?

SPEAKER_00 35:27

Well, I feel like you're setting me up to all right.

SPEAKER_03 35:30

I'm gonna ask you guys listening. Put in the comment section below. I thought of tacos, then I'm gonna go with tacos. Donuts, tacos, burgers.

SPEAKER_01 35:42

No, Jeff, like tacos.

SPEAKER_03 35:45

It was not an emphatic like number two. It was just really tacos! That's mine. You can't do it. Put in the comment section below. What is the number two candy? You're done. Okay, cutting you on. Number two youth ministry food for youth group. Put that in the comment section below. All right, let's

Giveaways And Winners

SPEAKER_03 36:06

do um, we have a giveaways to give away right now. I did it again. I did it last episode too. It's okay. That's all right. Uh progress. Next week is the final week for giveaways. So if you haven't signed up already, make sure you do that right now when you're listening to this. If it's before the time that's cut off, make sure you look in the comments or in the uh description and you can get all the details about how to enter and all the rules and regulations, all that fun stuff. All right, number one, this goes for another set of rhino skins dodgeballs. Okay, weirdo. And the winner.

SPEAKER_01 36:39

And I laughed because you said rhino skins. Rhino skin dodgeballs. He said rhino skins.

SPEAKER_03 36:49

Well, there's six of them. That's plural. The winner is Nate Huber. All the skins are yours.

SPEAKER_01 37:02

Nate Huber, rhino skins.

SPEAKER_03 37:04

All right, and then the $50 Amazon gift card goes to the one and only Erin Bailey. Erin Bailey. Congratulations to Erin Bailey. Way to go. Good job. Thank you so much. They deserve it. And thank you guys for watching and listening. And we'll see you. And we'll see you next time.

SPEAKER_01 37:24

Today we're talking about five tips for your today. We're talking about five leadership tips for youth pastors that are steps to success. Five steps to success. I'm not gonna say that. It turns out this