We all want our children to grow up knowing who they are in Christ, having a secure identity. Today's discussion with author, Steve Prokopchak discusses this very topic.
Steve Prokopchak is a Christian family and marriage counselor with a Master's degree in Human Services. Steve serves on the DOVE International Apostolic Council and the USA Council. He is the author of twelve books, including the newly released book Identity: The Distinctiveness of You. To learn more about Steve and his ministry, visit: https://steveprokopchak.com
Notes from Today's Podcast:
Children are born as image bearers. They bear the image of their parents and of course as we believe, are created in the image of God. But children are not born with identities. That is something that we as parents, their teachers, friend’s families, coaches, grandparents will help to build within them. We will either teach them about God’s love and approval, His identity or they will have to find it elsewhere and it’s the elsewhere that can be the problem. It is our acceptance, our affirmation or our rejection and our shaming them.
Children need positive, life-giving and affirming relationships in their lives. There is no better relationship than to teach them of the love of Jesus for them. Parents are not to build themselves in their children but rather Christ. Col 1:28 – “He is the one we proclaim, admonishing and teaching everyone…so that we may present everyone fully mature in Christ.” And, “My dear children, for whom I am again in the pains of childbirth until Christ is formed in you.”
What else builds identity? Wholesome activities, a church family, spiritual parents and spiritual peers, mission trips, camping, sports, grandparents, modeling a healthy identity to our children through our marriages and as mom and dad. We affirm their personhood. We affirm their gifts and call them out. We affirm them before and accomplishment or performance as the Father did with His Son.
Ten more areas to build identity in your child.
1. Employ correction, not punishment. Punishment is out of anger (it’s me preserving my right to be right and in charge – which our children will one day resist) while correction is from a spirit of love. One hurts the heart and one heals the heart.
2. Train your children in the way they should go – Proverbs 22:6.
3. Empower your children rather than being powerful over them. “I said so” vs. “here’s your choice.”
4. Communicate, communicate, communicate – dinner together
5. Play that does not involve electronics.
6. Train them in financial responsibility.
7. Stay away from critical judgment – judging something they cannot change. It will inhibit their creativity.
8. Resolving conflict.
9. Speak words of blessing.
10. Do not make your child your idol. Do not dress your child for so that you receive some kind of accolades. Your esteem is not through your children. Your marriage comes before your children.
Mentioned in Today's Podcast:
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Resources
Newport Church
Credits:
https://newportchurch.net
https://doveusa.org
https://dcfi.org
Intro/Exit Music Source Credit: https://www.bensound.com