Wood - Taylor Swift

Taylor Swift’s new song “Wood” has arrived — and the boys are asking the big questions:
Is it about love? Superstition? Or… Travis Kelce’s actual wood? 🌲😳

Join Chibbs, Bevo, Gav, and Mad Dog as they unpack every ridiculous lyric, dissect the erection metaphors, and debate whether Taylor’s officially gone full Katy Perry. From Daisy mutilation to redwood comparisons, this one spirals faster than Donald Duck in a fistfight.

It’s pop culture chaos, unfiltered banter, and just enough Swiftie outrage fuel to get us cancelled again.

🎧 Listen now wherever you get your podcasts.
 #TaylorSwift #Wood #1001SongsPodcast #ComedyPodcast #MusicPodcast #SongBreakdown #Swifties #FunnyPodcast #PopCulture

DUBBY 
DUBBY is declaring WAR on big Energy! Use the promo code "1001songs" at checkout for 10% off! 

Buzzsprout - Let's get your podcast launched!
Start for FREE

Blessington
Support the podcast when you buy a Blessington watch! Use the promo code “1001songs” at checkout.

DUBBY
DUBBY is declaring WAR on big Energy! Use the promo code "1001songs" at checkout for 10% off!

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

Transcript

00:00:38.83
Chibbs
This is 1001 Songs That Make You Want to Die, the podcast we talk about songs so bad it makes you want to disappoint everyone.

00:00:46.81
Bevo
Oh, you walked right into that.

00:00:47.35
Mad Dog
Yeah.

00:00:48.41
Chibbs
Fuck!

00:00:53.73
Mad Dog
a

00:00:57.86
Chibbs
It's going to be a double night, apparently. It's too late now.

00:01:01.20
gav
I'm so disappointed in you.

00:01:02.97
Chibbs
Yeah.

00:01:03.74
Bevo
ah you walked right into that

00:01:05.27
Chibbs
Yeah.

00:01:05.22
gav
fuck. That is you really alley-ooped yourself on there.

00:01:06.19
Chibbs
yeah

00:01:08.16
gav
That's good.

00:01:08.23
Chibbs
that is That is disappointing. its and Speaking of disappointing, we are doing would by Taylor Swift.

00:01:41.53
Mad Dog
There you go.

00:01:42.00
Chibbs
get you You get the gist.

00:01:42.63
Bevo
Here it comes again.

00:01:43.97
gav
Ha ha ha ha

00:01:47.70
Mad Dog
Doubles. Okay.

00:01:48.93
Chibbs
Yeah.

00:01:51.16
Mad Dog
Yep.

00:01:51.14
Chibbs
No, we're not doing i Want You Back by the Jackson 5. We're doing something about erections, I believe.

00:01:54.81
Mad Dog
Okay.

00:01:55.23
gav
yeah

00:01:55.42
Mad Dog
All

00:01:56.80
Bevo
but never will.

00:01:59.55
Mad Dog
right.

00:01:59.91
Chibbs
Is that right?

00:02:01.61
Mad Dog
I haven't looked the lyrics.

00:02:01.75
Chibbs
Or is it?

00:02:02.87
Bevo
but not no no, no. It's not about erections. It's about one erection.

00:02:06.67
Mad Dog
One erection. Yeah.

00:02:09.53
Bevo
Travis Kelsey's.

00:02:09.53
Chibbs
Okay.

00:02:09.51
gav
One Erection featuring Harry Styles, Zack, fucking whatever.

00:02:09.63
Chibbs
Okay.

00:02:11.15
Mad Dog
An erection.

00:02:13.67
gav
Anyway, you see, it was a One Direction joke.

00:02:14.31
Chibbs
So is does every one of her albums talk about a different erection?

00:02:15.19
gav
Fuck you.

00:02:19.15
Bevo
You know better than us.

00:02:19.42
Mad Dog
She tries to slip an erection in, kind of, yeah, hide it in there.

00:02:20.55
Bevo
You

00:02:25.58
Mad Dog
Yep.

00:02:26.03
Chibbs
Yeah.

00:02:26.05
gav
Like a concept discography where each each album is a new dick.

00:02:31.10
Bevo
know, in Steinfeld, in Steinfeld, there's like a Superman in every episode or something like that.

00:02:31.13
Chibbs
Concept.

00:02:35.61
gav
Yeah, yeah.

00:02:37.18
Bevo
Yeah, it's the same thing.

00:02:37.89
Mad Dog
I just like the way you you said, Dick, each each album is a new dick.

00:02:38.28
Bevo
Yeah.

00:02:42.67
Mad Dog
Yeah.

00:02:43.54
gav
Dick. And you dick.

00:02:45.72
Bevo
I like the internet thing where it's like, d di h did dear, dear.

00:02:45.72
gav
Dick.

00:02:45.85
Chibbs
Would

00:02:49.50
Mad Dog
yeah see

00:02:50.48
gav
Dick. You got that dick.

00:02:54.08
Bevo
This song's about a dear.

00:02:56.84
Mad Dog
Oh, Jesus. Yeah. Jesus.

00:02:57.86
gav
Fuck, That is the best fucking word that doesn't get used anymore.

00:02:58.00
Chibbs
but have been hilarious if she called the song Stiffy.

00:03:01.55
Mad Dog
All right.

00:03:06.52
gav
Man. Next time I'm getting freaky, I'm going to come in that, oh, man, I've got such a stiffy right now.

00:03:08.74
Bevo
Stiffy.

00:03:09.22
Mad Dog
see

00:03:12.74
Bevo
Priority school.

00:03:14.13
Chibbs
this This song is really giving me a stiffy.

00:03:14.20
Bevo
this

00:03:17.69
Mad Dog
yeah

00:03:18.75
gav
ah

00:03:20.34
Mad Dog
jesus

00:03:20.44
gav
Oh, shit.

00:03:22.38
Chibbs
Yeah.

00:03:22.47
Mad Dog
or

00:03:23.72
Chibbs
Okay.

00:03:23.96
Bevo
Oh, wait for the second go.

00:03:24.16
Chibbs
ah We have lyrics to get into.

00:03:24.94
gav
Oh, come in bit early with that one.

00:03:27.81
Chibbs
Lyrics to get into. It's just a warning.

00:03:30.40
Bevo
Wait, wait, who's here?

00:03:30.51
Chibbs
It's like alarm. Oh, who's here? Doggy's here. Yeah, that's right.

00:03:35.67
gav
ah

00:03:38.39
Chibbs
Gavin's here.

00:03:39.33
gav
Hello, how are we?

00:03:41.00
Chibbs
Yeah, fantastic, Gavin. A trusty beverage.

00:03:43.26
Bevo
Welcome to the Swifties back again since the last time.

00:03:45.36
gav
Ah, yes, yes.

00:03:47.28
Chibbs
we only done one Taylor Swift song?

00:03:48.77
Bevo
We have, because we liked her up until now.

00:03:49.49
gav
We were We did have a bit of an embargo on it.

00:03:51.69
Chibbs
We did say we we would say... We were saying for years no Swift bashing.

00:03:55.57
Mad Dog
No Taylor bashing. Yeah.

00:03:57.52
Bevo
But please stick around to the end of the episode because that's where the magic happens. And even if we're mean, it doesn't mean we hate it.

00:04:01.90
Mad Dog
That's right.

00:04:05.15
Mad Dog
We're just laughing at...

00:04:05.27
gav
It's like that Lou Baker time.

00:04:05.86
Chibbs
What?

00:04:06.50
gav
This is like that time Lou Baker's missus got super shitty at us.

00:04:09.35
Bevo
Yeah. She didn't listen to the end.

00:04:10.42
Mad Dog
Yes, but then we love the song.

00:04:10.74
gav
Didn't listen to everyone was fucking acclaimed.

00:04:12.65
Bevo
Turned it off by the end of the theme song.

00:04:13.28
gav
Yeah.

00:04:14.69
Chibbs
Yeah.

00:04:14.89
Mad Dog
We're just going to talk about dicks for 45 minutes before we rate it.

00:04:17.41
gav
ah hu Unlike last episode, which was farts.

00:04:19.42
Chibbs
loot

00:04:20.41
gav
A 45-minute fart episode.

00:04:21.75
Mad Dog
Farts. Yeah.

00:04:24.23
gav
Roxette, no farts.

00:04:26.52
Chibbs
It's good to get one. Good to get a fart episode out there every now and again.

00:04:29.53
Mad Dog
All right.

00:04:29.69
gav
Gotta do it.

00:04:30.23
Chibbs
The thing is, we don't get to decide what the episode is going to be.

00:04:33.28
Mad Dog
Oh, we didn't write the lyrics.

00:04:33.52
Chibbs
We're simply reading the lyrics.

00:04:33.82
gav
No, that's it. Yeah.

00:04:35.84
Bevo
We're vessels.

00:04:37.06
gav
Yeah, we we we fall down the funnel as much as everyone listening to the pod does.

00:04:40.25
Chibbs
Yeah, that's right.

00:04:40.80
Bevo
three

00:04:41.24
gav
Taylor stiffed.

00:04:41.50
Chibbs
Yeah, that's right.

00:04:41.91
Bevo
The real stiffy is the ah friends we've made along the way. Taylor

00:04:44.83
gav
ah

00:04:47.01
Mad Dog
a

00:04:46.94
gav
taylor stiffed

00:04:48.83
Bevo
Shaft.

00:04:51.42
Mad Dog
um

00:04:51.59
Bevo
taylor shaft

00:04:54.97
gav
Fuck. Just a dick joke episode. Here we go.

00:04:58.02
Bevo
Yeah.

00:04:58.45
Chibbs
Here we go

00:04:58.48
gav
Send it.

00:04:59.33
Bevo
What have we become?

00:05:00.56
Chibbs
Fucking send it.

00:05:01.44
Bevo
It's not normally like this.

00:05:02.60
gav
It is.

00:05:03.26
Bevo
it is.

00:05:03.48
gav
it fucking is.

00:05:03.95
Bevo
It is. It's worse.

00:05:05.74
Chibbs
this Verse one. Verse one. Here we go. Daisy's bare naked. I was distraught. He loves me not. He loves me not. Penny's unlucky.

00:05:17.61
Chibbs
ah took him back and then stepped on a crack and the black cat laughed.

00:05:24.95
Bevo
Okay, first up first of off. First of off.

00:05:29.38
gav
First off, off.

00:05:29.78
Bevo
um First of off.

00:05:30.78
Chibbs
All the blood has run to his dick. He can't think at all.

00:05:33.55
Mad Dog
okay

00:05:33.59
gav
yeah All the blood's running his stiffy.

00:05:36.07
Mad Dog
Too much blood in my dick.

00:05:36.11
Chibbs
Yeah, that whore cartoon character.

00:05:38.18
gav
yeah

00:05:38.33
Bevo
My dear.

00:05:38.61
Chibbs
Wait,

00:05:39.25
gav
He's dead.

00:05:40.94
Bevo
Daisy. and I can only think of Daisy Duck, who is mostly naked anyway, but except for a blouse.

00:05:44.12
Mad Dog
Ah.

00:05:47.67
Chibbs
is that true?

00:05:51.12
Bevo
Yeah.

00:05:51.94
Mad Dog
Mostly naked.

00:05:53.07
gav
Does she only have a blouse on?

00:05:55.03
Chibbs
right is that true

00:05:55.57
Bevo
Yeah, yeah, look her up. She can't wear pants.

00:05:58.27
gav
Hang on.

00:05:58.73
Chibbs
He doesn't have pants?

00:05:59.59
gav
For sure there's going to be some...

00:06:03.55
Bevo
Daisy Duck Pants.

00:06:03.52
gav
hu Daisy Duck naked. yeah

00:06:08.99
Bevo
ah Oh, it's a purple link.

00:06:09.60
gav
Oh yeah, there's for sure some Rule 34 going on with Daisy Duck.

00:06:16.44
Mad Dog
and She would look weird with, ducks would look weird with pants on.

00:06:20.44
Bevo
Pants, yeah, yeah,

00:06:21.58
Mad Dog
Get away with blouses, but

00:06:21.65
Chibbs
legs are too little.

00:06:22.73
Bevo
It's also very confronting when Donald Duck takes his top off.

00:06:26.64
Mad Dog
yeah.

00:06:27.07
gav
and

00:06:28.39
Mad Dog
yeah Scarred my childhood.

00:06:29.29
Chibbs
does Does he do that often?

00:06:30.61
Bevo
Yeah. Don't know. Maybe.

00:06:34.57
gav
Fuck. All right, I'm going to wipe my He's just getting fully naked to fight.

00:06:36.36
Chibbs
Like when Donald's going to fight, he takes his shirt off?

00:06:40.28
Mad Dog
He's listening to Raised Fist.

00:06:41.99
Chibbs
Yeah.

00:06:44.99
gav
That is such a power move. hey you You and me outside right now and you just start fucking...

00:06:47.36
Chibbs
That would be a power move, wouldn't it? Because, you know, you see guys get all fired up, reef the shirt off when they're go to fight.

00:06:49.19
Mad Dog
Yeah.

00:06:51.80
Mad Dog
Yeah.

00:06:52.70
gav
dead

00:06:53.22
Mad Dog
It comes off.

00:06:54.40
gav
Drop your Dax.

00:06:55.25
Chibbs
Yeah.

00:06:55.97
gav
Drop your fucking boxes.

00:06:56.31
Bevo
He's also talking like Donald Duck.

00:06:56.36
Mad Dog
It sucks.

00:06:57.79
Bevo
seal I don't understand what you're trying to say, Donald.

00:06:59.87
Chibbs
um

00:07:02.06
gav
but Now that's raised fist.

00:07:04.65
Bevo
He's a very angry man too, isn't he? Just in general.

00:07:07.59
Chibbs
He's furious.

00:07:08.13
gav
Just, yeah, as like as a guy.

00:07:08.67
Chibbs
Yeah, they've put a jacket on a duck and it'd be outraged.

00:07:09.78
gav
Yeah.

00:07:12.78
Bevo
Sailor sailor outfit.

00:07:14.61
Chibbs
Yeah, same thing. Why was he a sailor?

00:07:16.54
gav
um

00:07:17.29
Chibbs
No, sorry, this isn't about fucking Daffy Duck or whoever we're talking about.

00:07:19.32
Mad Dog
Yeah.

00:07:20.09
Bevo
Donald Duck.

00:07:20.05
gav
yeah ah

00:07:21.93
Bevo
Daffy Duck was fully naked.

00:07:21.94
Chibbs
This is...

00:07:22.18
Mad Dog
Yeah.

00:07:23.39
Chibbs
Yeah, okay. Well, whatever, Duck Donald.

00:07:24.73
Mad Dog
All right. So, da

00:07:26.29
Chibbs
Why were there so many fucking ducks?

00:07:28.66
gav
There was a lot of ducks.

00:07:30.65
Chibbs
Yeah, unnecessary, we're the ducks.

00:07:30.96
gav
Um...

00:07:31.19
Mad Dog
we haven't made it past lu the first line.

00:07:31.42
Bevo
had back in the day.

00:07:33.83
Mad Dog
Who the fuck is Penny?

00:07:33.81
Chibbs
Okay.

00:07:34.55
Bevo
Yeah, well, Taylor Swift is distraught at seeing a naked Daisy Duck.

00:07:36.95
Chibbs
Distraught at seeing the... Yeah, just realised, like us, that Daisy is pretty much naked at all times.

00:07:44.17
Mad Dog
And she was distraught.

00:07:45.67
Chibbs
Yeah.

00:07:46.22
gav
Hang on a minute. So let me get this right. So he loves me not, he loves me not she's doing the She's doing the pick a ah pedal off the daisy and say he loves me, he loves me not. When she says the daisy's bare naked, I think she means it has had all of its pedals removed.

00:08:00.67
Chibbs
Sure.

00:08:00.66
gav
So buy by her logic by her logic, to say that someone is bare naked, have you removed their limbs?

00:08:01.06
Chibbs
Now, how many... how many

00:08:07.66
gav
Have you dissected a human? Is that when they're bare naked?

00:08:10.00
Bevo
They're petals.

00:08:11.49
gav
Yeah, like if you're pulling... i mean, what are what are petals to a flower? Are they limbs? Are they fingers?

00:08:16.35
Bevo
Okay.

00:08:16.28
gav
Have you... I don't know. Is she cutting off people's fingers is what I'm asking.

00:08:23.75
gav
I'm trying to find an angle. I'm trying to find an angle early

00:08:25.42
Mad Dog
not fully naked unless you have your fingers cut off.

00:08:26.92
Bevo
Digging. cut Sniffing around the corners there.

00:08:29.93
Chibbs
the um help How many pedals how many petedals are on a daisy, do you think? Like six?

00:08:35.73
Mad Dog
Oregon 12?

00:08:35.98
gav
end. I was going a dozen, yeah.

00:08:38.47
Chibbs
Okay, so if you're doing the love me, you love me not, yve yeah surely you've jolly you've got that answer.

00:08:43.02
gav
surely you just start with the yeah yeah

00:08:46.70
Mad Dog
Yeah, you've got a...

00:08:46.93
Chibbs
By 30% of the way through the daisy, you're like, oh, well, it's going to land on this.

00:08:51.40
gav
ah yeah i guess you have to start with the negative right you'd have to start with he loves me not to end on the he loves me right yeah yeah maybe they're not uniform in number maybe they're not like i don't know

00:08:51.64
Mad Dog
um

00:08:57.33
Chibbs
I guess, yeah.

00:08:57.38
Bevo
Because if it's even or odd.

00:08:57.95
Chibbs
yeah

00:09:01.29
Mad Dog
Well,

00:09:04.89
Bevo
Let's get back to pulling limbs off.

00:09:05.64
Chibbs
I'm not a botanist. Yeah.

00:09:07.88
gav
ah Yeah, it's rare when Bevo's like, let's let's do more more bits on the dissecting humans part.

00:09:08.51
Bevo
This is a dead end straight.

00:09:13.43
gav
that was so There was a vein there that we should mine.

00:09:13.58
Chibbs
Um,

00:09:16.76
Chibbs
yeah

00:09:17.57
gav
bad. Yeah.

00:09:18.03
Chibbs
ah

00:09:18.13
Mad Dog
Is it?

00:09:18.88
Bevo
I did want to talk about, I listened to this song today and when whenever she sang the black cat laughed, I always imagined this black cat going, rep rep rat rat rep just a really silly laugh.

00:09:30.82
Bevo
right right ri right right

00:09:30.87
gav
ah ah bad

00:09:35.97
Chibbs
Yeah. The whole thing is just about unlucky things. A penny's unlucky.

00:09:41.24
Bevo
Yeah, well, I listened to, it was on um Fallon. I think she was on Fallon and she was talking about this song started out as a song about superstition. And then as the writing session went on, it became about a deer.

00:09:54.29
gav
more about More and more about D.

00:09:55.21
Mad Dog
Yeah. the yeah

00:09:57.10
gav
D.

00:09:58.03
Bevo
Yeah.

00:09:59.11
Chibbs
Right. ah And they didn't go back at any point and go, maybe, well, if it's ti about dicks now, you don't need to talk about all the cats and the fucking naked ducks.

00:10:05.88
Mad Dog
yeah

00:10:09.70
gav
a

00:10:09.82
Bevo
first drop first draft first draft maybe hmm

00:10:11.29
Mad Dog
Laughing cats and nude ducks.

00:10:13.25
Chibbs
Yeah. Like, make the first verse about a dick as well, I guess.

00:10:15.05
Mad Dog
No.

00:10:16.72
Chibbs
If you're going to make it all about dicks, it's going to be confusing. ah just I just don't think she gives a fuck anymore. Just based on this entire album, it really seems like she no longer gives a flying fuck about what she puts out.

00:10:23.39
Mad Dog
nine

00:10:26.69
gav
Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha.

00:10:29.73
Chibbs
Yeah.

00:10:30.73
Mad Dog
Yeah.

00:10:31.10
Chibbs
um

00:10:31.31
Mad Dog
i She's that far gone that she thinks, i don't know. She's not thinking.

00:10:37.63
Chibbs
Nah, apparently not. The pre-chorus goes, and baby, I'll admit I've been a little superstitious...

00:10:47.46
Chibbs
Fingers crossed until you put your hand on mine. ah Seems to be that you and me, we make our own luck.

00:10:53.36
gav
Ha ha

00:10:55.39
Bevo
Ah!

00:10:57.81
Chibbs
A bad sign is all good. I ain't got a knock on wood.

00:11:03.91
Mad Dog
Wow.

00:11:06.28
gav
um

00:11:07.40
Mad Dog
It's a very confusing song.

00:11:09.35
gav
Yeah, the the the crossover between like the superstition versus fucking just dick is ah is a strange one. It's a strange one.

00:11:17.08
Chibbs
That's what I mean. Like, why wouldn't you have just gone back and went, okay, it's no longer about superstitions. It's about huge throbbing cocks now.

00:11:25.11
gav
Yeah, let's let's rewrite this. Oh, man.

00:11:30.76
Mad Dog
Let's rewrite that first verse. Yeah.

00:11:32.88
gav
ah oh man

00:11:36.10
Chibbs
I think we lost Bevo. I don't know.

00:11:37.32
gav
We did lose Bevo. What happened there? I thought I was having the technical issues.

00:11:40.53
Chibbs
Yeah. I'll leave it recording and see if he comes back on because otherwise this it is so fucking hard to do all the video shit and everything when shit drops out.

00:11:47.04
gav
It gets janky with the timing. ah

00:11:54.36
Chibbs
Like, yeah, it's real.

00:11:56.17
gav
you can cut and You can cut this out though and it all works, but you just can't restart the recording and it...

00:12:00.49
Chibbs
I can, but so yeah if I restart the recording, it also, um have to buy credits on Zencast at a bounce out video and it wastes a credits to, yeah, as well.

00:12:02.85
gav
yeah

00:12:09.56
gav
Oh, shit. And it wastes a...

00:12:10.72
Mad Dog
Really?

00:12:11.77
gav
So you double you double tap instead of just... Yeah, that's fucking annoying.

00:12:15.59
Chibbs
Yeah. um But I can't see my messenger or anything. Has he written anything? Yeah.

00:12:22.17
gav
I'll jump on and ask him.

00:12:33.52
gav
Fucking Bevo.

00:12:34.39
Mad Dog
I ah randomly just thought...

00:12:37.87
Chibbs
Oh, here he is.

00:12:38.18
Mad Dog
Oh, here he is.

00:12:38.38
Chibbs
He's back.

00:12:38.50
gav
a a

00:12:39.77
Bevo
I don't know what I'm talking about. Fucking hell.

00:12:46.82
Chibbs
Oh, hopefully that stays on me.

00:12:48.17
gav
yeah

00:12:50.89
Bevo
again.

00:12:50.93
gav
um

00:12:51.33
Bevo
Fuck. Fucking win with this fucking internet.

00:12:55.98
gav
Yeah, you're making ah you're making tweed heads sound like a real piece of shit.

00:12:59.89
Bevo
Fucked.

00:13:01.36
gav
um When you bounce the video, does my shitty message on the side come up?

00:13:06.36
Chibbs
Die. Yeah.

00:13:07.12
Bevo
Nah, nah. You don't even get the names.

00:13:09.38
Mad Dog
Am I recording?

00:13:09.44
Bevo
like

00:13:09.38
gav
Help! Am I recording?

00:13:12.14
Chibbs
yeah

00:13:12.40
gav
I'm a boomer.

00:13:12.52
Mad Dog
ah

00:13:16.58
gav
is Is the internet button on?

00:13:19.42
Bevo
Hang on. Give me one sec to just try jumping back over. One sec.

00:13:30.59
gav
oh my God.

00:13:33.29
Bevo
How's that? You got me?

00:13:34.65
gav
Yeah, we got you.

00:13:34.73
Chibbs
yeah

00:13:35.41
gav
You're looking

00:13:35.51
Bevo
Yeah.

00:13:35.55
Mad Dog
You look good?

00:13:35.63
Bevo
Okay. All right.

00:13:36.46
gav
You're a 4K man.

00:13:36.63
Mad Dog
No.

00:13:40.46
Chibbs
um We'll start. There

00:13:43.31
gav
Unfortunately, we're in the middle of ragging on this fucking pre-chorus, so you'll probably just have to jump back in.

00:13:47.19
Bevo
Yeah, you can just jump in. Yeah, that's fine.

00:13:49.20
gav
And action. um Fingers crossed until you put your hand on mine is a little bit like, stop now, honey. its um

00:13:57.10
Chibbs
is.

00:13:57.37
Bevo
It's time to stop posting.

00:13:57.70
gav
It's a bit... yeah ah ah Oh, man.

00:14:00.74
Bevo
who love that meme.

00:14:04.85
gav
i I don't I feel like this... ah What's his name? What's the old mate's... Kels...

00:14:10.02
Mad Dog
Travis Kelsey.

00:14:10.09
Chibbs
Travis, Kelsey.

00:14:10.04
gav
Fuck it. Travis Kelsey.

00:14:12.38
Chibbs
Yeah.

00:14:12.42
gav
um Yeah. I think he's just kind of like enough now.

00:14:16.80
Mad Dog
It's enough. Yeah.

00:14:19.63
gav
What else we got?

00:14:19.84
Bevo
No, he'd he'd be cheering. This song's about him.

00:14:22.63
Chibbs
I don't know if you would be. Would you be cheering? Like, the guy's a fucking professional athlete. Like, he's probably copped enough shit as it is that he's dating Taylor Swift by every gangster from the ghetto that's made it out there.

00:14:35.27
Mad Dog
Yeah.

00:14:38.77
Chibbs
by playing fucking football and taking 10 million knocks to the head and got these, their brains like Swiss cheese.

00:14:41.80
Mad Dog
Yeah. Sweet.

00:14:47.72
Chibbs
They murder people in their spare time and, and, and then go into the change room and Travis is there like, Oh yeah, my girlfriend is Taylor Swift now.

00:14:51.48
Mad Dog
Yeah.

00:14:58.20
Chibbs
America's sweetheart.

00:14:58.79
gav
ah

00:14:59.61
Bevo
Sweetheart.

00:15:01.85
Chibbs
Yeah. Yeah.

00:15:02.16
Mad Dog
wait yeah

00:15:04.25
gav
I mean, yeah, I don't know. I feel like in in most professions, having a world famous song about your genitalia would be, it would probably raise eyebrows at the water cooler is all I'm saying.

00:15:18.92
Chibbs
Sure. Yeah, 100%.

00:15:20.10
gav
i don't i don't know I don't know what the day after this release was like with the guys in the locker room.

00:15:20.45
Chibbs
Yeah.

00:15:25.83
gav
Like we've seen your dick, Travis. It's not that impressive.

00:15:29.23
Mad Dog
Yeah.

00:15:29.51
Chibbs
yeah like They're like, get drinkk yeah bring Taylor in Taylor in here next time after the game.

00:15:30.90
Mad Dog
My dick's better than yours and I don't have a song about mine.

00:15:34.48
gav
Bring... Show of the goods.

00:15:37.38
Chibbs
ah shit

00:15:37.92
gav
Show of the goods.

00:15:38.24
Chibbs
I'll show her dick. um Imagine if she was just dating a fucking...

00:15:46.34
gav
Sorry.

00:15:46.49
Chibbs
just

00:15:47.02
gav
I'll show her a dick.

00:15:50.55
gav
Fucking hell. Yeah.

00:15:52.12
Chibbs
Imagine she was just dating like a lawyer from a law firm, just sort of thing.

00:15:57.12
Bevo
right

00:15:57.58
Chibbs
And it's, but it's Taylor Swift and she's just gone.

00:15:58.46
gav
Yeah.

00:15:59.67
Mad Dog
Yeah.

00:16:02.03
Chibbs
He, and he track nine of my new album is about my boyfriend's cock.

00:16:06.54
Mad Dog
Yeah.

00:16:07.02
Chibbs
Yeah.

00:16:07.16
Mad Dog
my My accountant's cock.

00:16:08.25
Chibbs
Yeah.

00:16:08.75
Bevo
My litigious boyfriend's gone.

00:16:10.50
gav
oh

00:16:11.10
Chibbs
yeah

00:16:11.23
Bevo
Yeah.

00:16:12.98
gav
I

00:16:13.11
Mad Dog
My litigious.

00:16:16.18
gav
had to squeeze the word in on air.

00:16:17.90
Mad Dog
Yeah.

00:16:18.24
Bevo
yes

00:16:18.80
gav
ah um

00:16:20.29
Mad Dog
Yeah. yeah It's weed.

00:16:21.32
gav
I ain't...

00:16:22.28
Mad Dog
It's fucking, it's weed.

00:16:25.86
gav
And it's you.

00:16:26.11
Bevo
It's just not her. that's the That's what gets me. It's like...

00:16:28.38
Mad Dog
Yeah, it's weird.

00:16:28.64
gav
Yeah.

00:16:29.73
Mad Dog
Right.

00:16:30.45
Bevo
Yeah.

00:16:30.73
gav
i ain't going to knock on wood.

00:16:31.16
Bevo
Anyway, we'll get there.

00:16:32.87
gav
Is that like... Is she saying that she's not going to punch him in the dick? What are we talking about there?

00:16:36.76
Chibbs
I think it's dick punching. I think it's dick punching.

00:16:39.15
gav
Maybe he wants a bit of dick punching. Maybe he's into a little bit of um cock and cock and ball torture.

00:16:42.11
Bevo
Maybe she's knocking on it like she's like she making fun of it, like knocking... Don't don't knock this wood.

00:16:49.94
gav
ah

00:16:51.13
Mad Dog
oh

00:16:52.76
gav
Yeah, I mean, it could work either way. Maybe the like maybe the chorus will reveal um what she meant.

00:16:57.24
Chibbs
Maybe. Here we chorus.

00:16:58.28
Bevo
Right.

00:16:59.98
Chibbs
Ah, all that bitchin' wishing on a falling star. Never did me any good. I ain't got to knock on wood. Ah, it's you and me forever dancing in the dark.

00:17:12.64
Chibbs
All over me, it's understood. I ain't got to knock on wood.

00:17:18.58
gav
Fuck, it's the superstition thing again. See, that threw us that through me. I forgot that that was a superstitious thing to knock on wood. I just fucking misread that.

00:17:25.21
Mad Dog
Yes, that's what it is.

00:17:25.33
Bevo
Ah, I'm thinking of the bloody, what are they called? Never Had to Knock on Wood.

00:17:32.19
Mad Dog
Mighty Boss Science.

00:17:32.43
gav
muy Mighty Mighty Bozstones, yeah.

00:17:33.32
Bevo
Mighty Boston, bos stones yeah

00:17:34.79
Chibbs
Now, you guys got me into Reddit recently,

00:17:35.68
gav
Great song.

00:17:38.98
gav
ah what

00:17:39.57
Chibbs
i

00:17:41.23
gav
What a mistake that may turn out to be.

00:17:41.55
Chibbs
and I've been looking at it. and and one And something just popped up there that was like a scientific study, but it was that they just put two random people ah into a completely pitch black room for hours at a time where they could not see anything, and apparently a massive percentage of them ended up having sex.

00:18:05.06
Bevo
Oh, massive percentage.

00:18:05.21
Mad Dog
Really?

00:18:05.76
gav
Okay.

00:18:06.72
Chibbs
Yeah. um like like ah Like a, yeah, stark, like something they just did not see.

00:18:07.86
gav
Okay.

00:18:09.32
Bevo
Wow.

00:18:13.83
gav
Like a so ah statistic anomaly.

00:18:14.68
Chibbs
They're like, wow, quite a lot of these people having sex.

00:18:16.26
gav
Okay.

00:18:17.30
Bevo
It's like two scientists going, I wonder what happens when we put two people in a dark room.

00:18:21.37
Chibbs
So is this the same sort of thing here?

00:18:21.58
gav
ah And they've got in they've got infrared cameras and they're just sitting there jerking off.

00:18:23.69
Chibbs
Yeah.

00:18:25.77
gav
which is

00:18:28.84
gav
I wonder what happens.

00:18:29.40
Mad Dog
it for red

00:18:32.31
Chibbs
They're saying it's you and me forever dancing in the dark and then it's all over me. So dancing in the dark is, I assume, them fucking and all over me, I assume, is jizz.

00:18:37.45
gav
Yeah, what's all over her?

00:18:44.94
gav
Jizzum.

00:18:46.90
Chibbs
Jizz.

00:18:47.26
gav
Jizzum from his stiffy.

00:18:49.41
Chibbs
Yeah. Is that what she's trying to get at?

00:18:53.74
Mad Dog
ah Yes, that's that's exactly.

00:18:54.00
Bevo
Yeah. It's yeah. We're flipping with, it's like the equator of the song where it goes from superstition to. Yeah.

00:19:01.68
gav
Well, that's the whole fucking song is that, though.

00:19:02.72
Chibbs
Oh, it's a falling falling star and all that. And you go, ah, superstar it's not about it's not about throbbing cocks. It's about ah start falling stars.

00:19:12.69
Bevo
Hmm.

00:19:13.06
Mad Dog
yeah. yeah

00:19:14.63
Bevo
Hmm.

00:19:14.63
Chibbs
But then, no, it's not.

00:19:15.64
Mad Dog
No, no. It's about the cocks.

00:19:17.69
Chibbs
It's about the cock.

00:19:17.90
Mad Dog
Yeah.

00:19:17.98
Bevo
yeah this is Yeah, this is literally the the midpoint of the song where things start to take her two people in a dark room.

00:19:25.05
Mad Dog
Get...

00:19:28.14
Chibbs
Do you imagine, do you think it be funny if it is a dark room that they're in, but they both just dance separately and you can just sort of hear, you can just hear vigorous dancing going on side the room.

00:19:39.93
gav
ah

00:19:41.85
Bevo
ah

00:19:45.64
Chibbs
It's like, ha, ha, ha.

00:19:50.37
Bevo
The scientists listening are like, what are they doing in there?

00:19:51.17
Chibbs
And it's like, oh, I really did.

00:19:51.60
gav
my God.

00:19:52.80
Chibbs
Yeah. yeah

00:19:54.88
Bevo
You can only conclude...

00:19:54.80
gav
It's like a silent disco, but it's a silent and blind disco.

00:19:56.12
Mad Dog
Island Disco, yeah.

00:20:00.52
gav
Everyone's just got their own headphones and a fucking airplane eye mask on.

00:20:05.76
Chibbs
Yeah.

00:20:06.48
Mad Dog
Just go for it.

00:20:07.63
gav
Just raving.

00:20:09.30
Mad Dog
Yeah.

00:20:09.36
gav
just And somehow, statistically, normally they all just end up fucking. Start as a silent disco, end as a silent orgy.

00:20:13.41
Chibbs
Yeah. yeah Yeah. Everyone knows that dance is the biggest aphrodisiac in the world.

00:20:22.48
Bevo
you

00:20:22.97
Chibbs
Yeah. Yeah. It's the power of dance.

00:20:26.77
Mad Dog
Oh, boy.

00:20:28.21
Chibbs
The post-chorus goes, forgive me, it sounds cocky. He armatized me and opened my eyes.

00:20:39.15
Chibbs
Redwood tree, it ain't hard to see. His love was the key that opened my thighs.

00:20:45.24
gav
who

00:20:46.02
Mad Dog
oh

00:20:46.44
Chibbs
oh

00:20:48.33
Mad Dog
that That made me cringe, that bit.

00:20:48.66
Chibbs
Okay.

00:20:51.75
Chibbs
do we Should we address this now?

00:20:52.04
Mad Dog
Yeah.

00:20:54.53
Chibbs
Where Taylor Swift is not a sex symbol?

00:20:59.95
Mad Dog
that's That's why. Like, um' no I'm no prude. But, yeah, but here hearing this from Taytay, I'm like, no, no, it's not right.

00:21:04.85
Bevo
Mm-hmm.

00:21:05.01
gav
You are. You are. Carry on. yeah

00:21:12.66
Chibbs
I just, I don't, I can't imagine she's like up there with like a, where people would have had a poster of Megan Fox so on their wall and gone, yeah, that's like, you know, the hot chick of generation.

00:21:25.43
Chibbs
I don't, I've never considered Taylor Swift to have fallen into the hot chick of a generation.

00:21:32.48
Bevo
Yeah, she's not a <unk>t post like a pinup girl, is she?

00:21:34.99
Chibbs
No, that you want to hear about how much she fucks.

00:21:38.39
Mad Dog
Yeah, And I get involved.

00:21:38.40
Bevo
And the the funny thing is it's its hard off the um hot off the trails of Sabrina doing the same thing.

00:21:38.89
gav
I mean, I want to hear about how much everyone fucks though. So...

00:21:46.78
Bevo
But, i you know, the difference is for me, this is...

00:21:46.87
Chibbs
Sure, but she's AI. Like, she's not real thing.

00:21:50.33
gav
She's an industry plant.

00:21:51.71
Chibbs
Yeah.

00:21:51.83
gav
but

00:21:52.94
Bevo
there's a lot of, um, a lot of discourse about this whole fucking thing on online and I get involved and I've, I really feel like, listen if yeah,

00:22:00.32
gav
a there's There's a lot of discourse online that I'm starting...

00:22:03.02
Chibbs
Threads. Threads.

00:22:06.51
Bevo
threads. I love threads.

00:22:07.39
Chibbs
Yeah.

00:22:07.62
Bevo
Um, but the thing, I haven't changed it yet, but it's wrong.

00:22:07.55
gav
Follow him on threads. what's your What's your name on threads, Bebo? Shout it out.

00:22:12.14
Bevo
Thread, thread rich.

00:22:12.78
Chibbs
Ron Sredridge.

00:22:13.82
Bevo
They're going to change it anyway.

00:22:13.88
Mad Dog
threat Threadridge.

00:22:14.42
Chibbs
Right.

00:22:14.61
gav
Ryan. Go follow over right the gofo Ryan Threadridge.

00:22:15.79
Chibbs
ah tell me tell me what Tell me what the discourse

00:22:18.80
Bevo
Um,

00:22:21.62
Chibbs
it

00:22:21.90
Mad Dog
Yeah, what's...

00:22:22.41
Bevo
it's just a lot of like, i find it hard to put into words, but it's like, it's basically like feminist stuff. It's like you're like Taylor Swift can't be sexualized because she's like America's sweetheart and all that kind of stuff.

00:22:37.71
Bevo
But here's what I'm thinking.

00:22:38.60
gav
That's a strange take.

00:22:39.23
Bevo
It's like the, the reason people don't like this instead of Sabrina Carpenter is because this is about one guy, one specific guy's penis where Sabrina, could like you could picture yourself in the song or do you,

00:22:46.78
Mad Dog
ah Right, right.

00:22:47.48
Chibbs
right

00:22:48.58
Mad Dog
One penis.

00:22:50.46
gav
it's it's It's an amorphous penis in Sabrina Carpenter's songs. It could be...

00:22:54.48
Bevo
Yeah. and And any song that you listen to, it's like, you don't know who this song's about.

00:22:55.47
Mad Dog
Yeah.

00:22:57.93
Bevo
So it could be about, it's just about the feeling that the song is where all of Taylor Swift songs are, and it's more the fans than Taylor herself, I reckon.

00:23:03.71
gav
next time i listen to Next time I listen to any Sabrina Carpenter song, going picture it's Chibs' as dick.

00:23:08.76
Chibbs
you

00:23:09.59
Bevo
You do that.

00:23:09.82
Mad Dog
LAUGHTER

00:23:10.75
Bevo
You're free to do that.

00:23:12.91
Chibbs
ah

00:23:13.18
Bevo
But you can't do that with this song because it's about Travis Kelsey.

00:23:16.08
gav
down. Oh, Jesus Christ.

00:23:18.73
Chibbs
Yeah.

00:23:19.31
gav
double ah

00:23:21.63
Bevo
Don't tap.

00:23:22.19
gav
oh jesus christed

00:23:22.61
Mad Dog
Yeah, there there is there is there is something really weird about it being one dick and like...

00:23:29.50
Bevo
specific. And it's like, there's other songs on this album that all the fans are like, this is about Charlie XCX, or this is about this person. It's like, they've figured it out. So the songs are gossip instead of songs.

00:23:39.03
gav
Yeah.

00:23:39.25
Mad Dog
Yeah, it's weird.

00:23:39.78
gav
Look, for me, I feel like i as far as this particular post-chorus goes, I think all that just sounds massively overanalyzed me. Opened my thighs just sounds a bit weird.

00:23:51.13
Chibbs
Yeah.

00:23:51.36
gav
It's like, it just sounds a bit, it just, there's ways to say things.

00:23:51.54
Mad Dog
It's so weird, man.

00:23:55.41
gav
And that one is just a bit of an, it's a bit of an icky way to say that one. I don't know.

00:24:00.43
Mad Dog
Yeah.

00:24:00.62
gav
Sabrina, Sabrina can say,

00:24:01.18
Chibbs
Gavin's saying this as well. Gavin, Gavin, who, we who watched, who, who, who told us all about the art of tying people up in knots to have them suspended from the roof.

00:24:12.26
Chibbs
Like, so you can fuck them different ways is, is going, it's a bit icky.

00:24:14.25
Bevo
but for uh you have to refer back to the uh what was that episode it was uh kill bill it is a kill bill yeah

00:24:16.70
Chibbs
Yeah.

00:24:17.30
Mad Dog
It's a bit...

00:24:17.57
gav
Refer back to, I forget which episode that was.

00:24:19.88
Chibbs
Scissor.

00:24:20.00
gav
that Oh, Scissor, nice one.

00:24:20.87
Mad Dog
Scissor, scissor.

00:24:21.49
Chibbs
Scissor. Scissor. Yeah.

00:24:23.38
gav
um Yeah, so I don't know. Just the key that opened my thighs just sounds like, ah, it just hits the ear wrong, man.

00:24:28.91
Mad Dog
It's weird,

00:24:31.48
gav
I don't know. I feel like for me, it's not like, it's not a context thing.

00:24:32.25
Mad Dog
eh?

00:24:35.30
gav
It's not a this and the at the other.

00:24:36.36
Bevo
you know there's a censored version?

00:24:37.10
gav
It's just like, ah, what?

00:24:38.60
Bevo
There's a full censored version of this song and I think all the songs and the censored version is his love was the key that opened my skies, I believe.

00:24:46.26
gav
Not eyes?

00:24:47.41
Mad Dog
Really?

00:24:47.71
Chibbs
There's so many other things you could have done.

00:24:48.03
Bevo
I'm pretty sure it's skies.

00:24:48.20
gav
Oh, the previous one has opened my eyes.

00:24:48.79
Mad Dog
i

00:24:50.00
gav
Sorry.

00:24:50.79
Chibbs
Right. Okay.

00:24:51.31
gav
Yeah.

00:24:51.64
Chibbs
Yeah.

00:24:51.80
Bevo
Yeah.

00:24:51.78
gav
She would have...

00:24:51.96
Chibbs
pop

00:24:52.44
gav
He armatized me.

00:24:53.04
Chibbs
Pies.

00:24:54.79
Bevo
Sold me my pies. Yeah.

00:24:58.03
Mad Dog
um

00:24:59.12
Chibbs
It also kind of stinks a little bit of just the classic dude move of the, seriously, baby, I love you. It's

00:25:06.71
Mad Dog
Yeah.

00:25:07.29
gav
a

00:25:10.26
Chibbs
just like, well, thighs are opening, I guess.

00:25:12.98
Mad Dog
Yeah.

00:25:13.84
Chibbs
Yeah.

00:25:14.08
gav
um

00:25:14.97
Mad Dog
Is it weird I'm picturing a thigh master?

00:25:15.16
gav
umize so

00:25:19.85
gav
You do you. You do you.

00:25:20.90
Mad Dog
Yeah.

00:25:21.25
gav
Whatever works.

00:25:21.46
Mad Dog
Okay. Okay.

00:25:22.40
gav
um Redwood tree, it ain't hard to see. I feel like there was definitely a flaccid dick joke in there that she's maybe not played with.

00:25:28.88
Mad Dog
Yeah.

00:25:31.91
gav
That was... I think she's trying to say it's really big, like but i'm like I read that and I'm like, it ain't hard.

00:25:36.12
Mad Dog
A

00:25:37.42
gav
Well, what good is it? flop Flopping around ah Californian redwood tree-sized cock.

00:25:41.29
Mad Dog
floppy 300 meter tall redwood

00:25:43.73
Chibbs
A flaccid Californian Redwood.

00:25:45.69
gav
ah flat it's like...

00:25:46.75
Mad Dog
a floppy three hundred mere tall redwood

00:25:47.70
gav
who

00:25:50.29
Chibbs
Are you saying his cock is so big, I'm going, if it falls over the road, I'll have to chainsaw out a tunnel for us to drive through?

00:25:57.23
gav
Yeah, they we're going to have to... ah ah We're going to have to call in a landscaper.

00:25:59.78
Bevo
Are you saying it's so big that if it falls in the forest and no one's around, does it make a fap, fap, fap sound?

00:26:03.40
gav
Oh, man.

00:26:10.59
Chibbs
Verse 2.

00:26:10.83
Mad Dog
What?

00:26:12.02
Chibbs
Verse 2 goes, Girls, I don't need to catch the bouquet.

00:26:12.43
Mad Dog
yeah Yeah, okay.

00:26:17.04
Chibbs
Hmm. To know a hard rock is on the way.

00:26:22.06
Bevo
Yeah, that that's that's even worse.

00:26:22.37
Chibbs
Two-sentence verse.

00:26:22.63
gav
That's the whole verse.

00:26:24.22
Bevo
That one's worse, I think.

00:26:25.54
Mad Dog
Yeah, now wherere now we're not leaving much the imagination.

00:26:30.90
Chibbs
Now, it's a hard...

00:26:31.30
gav
I mean, we are because she's talking about fucking a rock.

00:26:32.25
Chibbs
It's a hard... Yeah, so, yeah.

00:26:35.64
Mad Dog
Yeah, suppose.

00:26:36.05
Chibbs
ah she Is she talking about a ring?

00:26:37.10
gav
That's...

00:26:38.76
Chibbs
or is it a or is it a Or is it the dick again?

00:26:40.73
Mad Dog
It can work both ways.

00:26:41.59
Chibbs
Yeah,

00:26:42.26
Bevo
Yeah, well, that's it's a double entendre, isn't it?

00:26:44.07
Mad Dog
Yeah, that's right.

00:26:44.60
gav
Yeah.

00:26:45.57
Bevo
She's getting married.

00:26:45.82
Chibbs
it's real clever. So clever.

00:26:49.10
Mad Dog
It's genius, Taylor.

00:26:50.52
Chibbs
Yeah, yeah.

00:26:51.26
gav
Yeah. yeah So, I mean... And Diamond is...

00:26:54.20
Chibbs
I mean, she's living in sin. Yeah.

00:26:56.89
gav
ah

00:26:57.87
Mad Dog
Yeah. mean, the religios won't like this too much.

00:26:59.33
Bevo
Yeah, billionaires can do that.

00:27:04.16
Bevo
Religious.

00:27:05.17
Chibbs
Do reckon she's got a big religio following?

00:27:08.06
gav
Well, when in the previous, sorry to jump back, but in the post-christ where she said armatized, I thought that was like when you made someone Amish. it's like but It's like you get you get baptized into Christianity.

00:27:19.20
Bevo
and

00:27:19.30
Mad Dog
Ah.

00:27:19.37
gav
did You get armatized into the Amish. yeah

00:27:22.02
Mad Dog
Ah.

00:27:23.34
Bevo
I see. I heard it as like joining the army. was armatized.

00:27:26.56
Mad Dog
Ah.

00:27:26.62
gav
Oh, there you go.

00:27:27.17
Chibbs
Armatized.

00:27:27.89
gav
Armatized.

00:27:28.55
Chibbs
It could be Al-Qaeda, like, armatized.

00:27:30.11
gav
I'll say it may be armatized.

00:27:30.62
Chibbs
Yeah. but

00:27:33.41
gav
Armatized. ah um

00:27:34.51
Mad Dog
oedized

00:27:35.17
gav
um it does

00:27:36.22
Chibbs
yeah

00:27:36.95
gav
what

00:27:39.54
gav
Oh, jeez. I love that.

00:27:40.77
Mad Dog
arm me

00:27:43.85
gav
I'm picturing like an Amish person, ah someone in the US Army and someone in the Taliban all just sitting down together and being like, we have to nut out what you... you we we All three of us can't call it the same fucking thing, okay?

00:27:54.53
gav
We've got to figure this out.

00:27:55.41
Bevo
um it's

00:27:55.87
Chibbs
It's too confusing.

00:27:58.88
Mad Dog
um

00:27:59.02
Bevo
and also that the the ah surgery where they put arms on people I'm here for my it's putting arms back on

00:27:59.11
Chibbs
Yeah.

00:28:04.45
gav
Fuck. Fuck.

00:28:06.84
Mad Dog
So that they're not naked anymore.

00:28:09.86
gav
ah Thanks. Nice callback. Good callback.

00:28:12.17
Mad Dog
Yeah.

00:28:13.47
gav
See, at the start, I thought this was going to be about dissecting people, but no, we've fallen down a completely different funnel.

00:28:19.33
Mad Dog
Oh.

00:28:19.83
Chibbs
She does another pre-chorus.

00:28:21.99
Bevo
this one's different

00:28:23.07
Chibbs
It's different.

00:28:23.22
Mad Dog
have

00:28:23.43
Chibbs
Okay.

00:28:23.71
Mad Dog
This is horrible.

00:28:25.31
Chibbs
And baby, I'll admit I've been a little superstitious. Superstitious. The curse on me was broken by your magic wand. Ah, seems to be that you and me, we make our own luck.

00:28:34.67
gav
know

00:28:37.11
gav
yeah yeah

00:28:40.02
Chibbs
New heights, new heights of manhood. Manhood. I ain't got a knock on wood.

00:28:46.78
Bevo
right, so let's get it out of the way. New Heights is the um podcast that Travis Kelsey and his brother do.

00:28:51.58
Chibbs
Shut the fuck up.

00:28:51.88
gav
God, that's fucking cringy.

00:28:52.80
Mad Dog
Oh, is it?

00:28:53.23
Chibbs
She name dropped his podcast?

00:28:55.90
gav
Why did you do that?

00:28:57.57
Mad Dog
This is oh yeah that's ick.

00:29:00.51
Bevo
That's what I'm saying. you can't You actually can't picture anyone else in this song but him.

00:29:04.63
gav
Oh my God.

00:29:05.32
Chibbs
You can't shout up.

00:29:05.40
gav
We make our own luck.

00:29:05.50
Mad Dog
That's icky.

00:29:06.62
gav
A thousand one songs that make you want to die of manhood.

00:29:07.16
Chibbs
its

00:29:09.99
gav
We did it, boys.

00:29:12.25
Chibbs
yeah You can't name drop a podcast and fucking Taylor Swift lyrics.

00:29:15.82
Mad Dog
She did.

00:29:16.09
Chibbs
This is where you jump the shark at this point where it's just like, okay, so what? Now you're getting married, is it? So every album is just going to be about Travis Kelsey's cock.

00:29:26.30
Chibbs
Is that what we're going to do now?

00:29:28.95
Bevo
And if they if it doesn't work out, what happens to this song as well?

00:29:32.12
Chibbs
And what happens, but also the the whole thing of like the next album that comes out, the first thing is like, which one's the cock song? She always does a cock song. Which one's the cock song?

00:29:43.90
gav
you know what annoys me more than anything about all of this i think it's that um we only have her word to go on and her like this is very subjective sorry she could have had like ah slew of micro penises before this and he could be point average you know what i mean

00:30:00.73
Mad Dog
Yes, Lou.

00:30:00.73
gav
i demand I demand that we see Travis Kelsey's dick. We need photographs with scale.

00:30:07.35
Bevo
I'm a visual learner

00:30:07.41
Chibbs
I like this.

00:30:08.44
gav
i want I want photos to scale of this shaft with a banana for scale.

00:30:11.93
Bevo
with a banana next to it, just so I know.

00:30:14.26
gav
Thank you, Bevo.

00:30:14.39
Mad Dog
The scale. The scale.

00:30:15.23
Chibbs
And I want a newspaper for the date.

00:30:15.65
gav
um

00:30:15.87
Mad Dog
Yeah.

00:30:17.18
gav
For the date, exactly.

00:30:18.42
Chibbs
yeah

00:30:19.60
gav
And and i need to know I need to know that it's...

00:30:19.93
Bevo
And I want, don't want 15 minutes alone with it.

00:30:22.55
gav
i I need to know it's flaccid. I need a knife and fork and some sour cream.

00:30:28.00
Mad Dog
yeah

00:30:28.01
gav
and And then we can just see just shake it up a bit.

00:30:30.06
Bevo
And some mood music.

00:30:31.52
Chibbs
I like this, Gavin.

00:30:31.87
Mad Dog
And, uh,

00:30:31.99
gav
and

00:30:32.91
Chibbs
wi Let's get a petition going here.

00:30:33.36
gav
the I need to see a photo.

00:30:35.45
Chibbs
We want to see the cock.

00:30:37.05
gav
I want to see the cock.

00:30:37.20
Chibbs
We want the cock.

00:30:38.71
Mad Dog
yeah, we did.

00:30:38.72
Chibbs
We want the cock.

00:30:38.78
gav
I feel like, and if I'm honest, if I'm honest, it would probably sway how I feel about this song.

00:30:42.87
Bevo
There's your TikTok for the episode.

00:30:44.44
gav
if we pull up If we pull up a photo of Travis Kelsey's dick and it's fucking magnificent, I might actually enjoy this song a little more.

00:30:52.14
Chibbs
you know what actually starts playing in your head?

00:30:53.94
Mad Dog
I'm going to enjoy the song more.

00:30:54.21
Chibbs
but when When you see it, everyone knows that every time you see a magnificent cock, you start to hear, boom, ba-doodle-doo-doo, do-do-doo-doo, do-do-doo-doo, do-do-doo-doo.

00:31:00.66
gav
Yeah.

00:31:06.02
gav
ba du Yeah.

00:31:07.95
Mad Dog
yeah

00:31:07.95
gav
at the fucking...

00:31:08.50
Mad Dog
Bow down.

00:31:09.37
Chibbs
I want your cock! Yeah. Yeah.

00:31:13.13
gav
ah

00:31:14.78
Chibbs
um yeah

00:31:15.84
Mad Dog
Bow down. Can also mention something that falls a little bit tone deaf to me? 1.1 billionaire...

00:31:26.35
Mad Dog
billionaire

00:31:27.89
gav
oh did you already look at the fuck

00:31:29.97
Mad Dog
No, I'm i'm guessing.

00:31:31.00
gav
Net worth.

00:31:31.76
Mad Dog
that that'll be That'll be my guess for later.

00:31:31.78
gav
ah Okay. It a goddamn better be.

00:31:34.57
Mad Dog
so Talking about how she's cursed.

00:31:39.29
Chibbs
ah yeah yeah well um yeah yeah yeah

00:31:41.37
Bevo
Just buy another penis.

00:31:43.69
Mad Dog
Well, you know, I'd happily go without penis for a long time for $1.1 billion. yeah

00:31:50.15
Chibbs
Do you think they role play like sort of some sort of fantasy novel-esque where he he uses his cock like a magic wand?

00:31:55.71
Bevo
Football.

00:32:00.42
Chibbs
like Like, it's like, well, what you want to do tonight, honey?

00:32:02.00
gav
Or maybe.

00:32:04.28
Chibbs
It's like, I was thinking that magic wand dick thing that we do. Yeah.

00:32:09.73
gav
oh

00:32:10.43
Chibbs
you know where i run ah I run around and you pretend to be like a beast of some sort, but my

00:32:10.48
Mad Dog
ah man

00:32:10.65
gav
and she's like... she

00:32:15.84
Chibbs
um i i point my magic wand at you and to say a little spell and you become ah this lanky 33-year-old that's like...

00:32:18.27
Mad Dog
A beast!

00:32:26.52
Chibbs
Yeah. but like

00:32:29.43
gav
No, see, I think he goes the other way with it. I think he says, you are a lanky 35-year-old Taylor Swift. I'm going to wave my penis at you. Then you have to hop around like a frog or something.

00:32:39.81
Chibbs
It's magic.

00:32:41.03
gav
it's magic It's my magic dick.

00:32:43.33
Chibbs
Whoa, whoa, whoa, it's magic.

00:32:43.42
gav
Magic wand. What are we calling It's magic.

00:32:49.38
gav
Oh, fuck.

00:32:50.84
Chibbs
Yeah.

00:32:51.08
Mad Dog
Okay.

00:32:51.90
Chibbs
um

00:32:52.04
Bevo
and so

00:32:52.53
Chibbs
I mean, no shaming here with the role playing. We don't shame here on the podcast.

00:32:55.57
gav
yeah obviously No, obviously not. No, we don't.

00:32:57.46
Mad Dog
No, that's fine.

00:32:57.99
gav
Particularly, I mean, we shame a lot of things, but not kinks.

00:32:59.95
Chibbs
Not kink shaming.

00:33:00.37
gav
Those are...

00:33:00.99
Chibbs
No, that's fine.

00:33:01.26
gav
No.

00:33:01.76
Mad Dog
No, that's fine.

00:33:02.55
Chibbs
But if that's, the kink is a curse, a broken curse kink.

00:33:02.96
Mad Dog
Okay.

00:33:03.63
Bevo
you know what else You know what else this brings to mind?

00:33:03.57
gav
Yeah.

00:33:08.05
gav
Mmm.

00:33:08.52
Bevo
just to Just to get you out of this hole that you've dug here.

00:33:11.81
Chibbs
Oh, no, no, no.

00:33:13.06
gav
No, no.

00:33:13.43
Chibbs
I've barely, I've barely, but I've barely cracked the foundation.

00:33:13.97
gav
Dig... Quick, Chibs. Dig deeper.

00:33:18.13
Bevo
Like what, alongside her talking about Travis Kelce's pinus, um

00:33:24.37
Chibbs
Hmm.

00:33:24.36
gav
he's um He's new heights of manhood.

00:33:26.67
Bevo
we're also hearing about how unsatisfying every other boyfriend she's had.

00:33:31.29
Mad Dog
Yeah, shaming.

00:33:32.76
Bevo
So we're talking, with what's the guy from the 1975, what's his name?

00:33:32.79
gav
True.

00:33:32.95
Mad Dog
Yeah.

00:33:33.07
gav
Which dicks are we knocking? Yeah.

00:33:37.21
gav
Oh, Matt Healy?

00:33:38.22
Bevo
Hayley.

00:33:39.02
Chibbs
Did he smash her guts in?

00:33:40.67
Bevo
I think so. um

00:33:42.33
gav
Apparently not.

00:33:43.84
Bevo
Juan Mayer.

00:33:43.90
gav
he gave it He gave it a red hot go and he fell short.

00:33:46.74
Chibbs
I thought she was just with some...

00:33:47.28
Bevo
Juan Mayer. We got Joe Jonas. am i Am I getting that wrong? All right.

00:33:51.57
gav
i think so.

00:33:53.53
Chibbs
I thought she was just with some no-name actor for fucking forever.

00:33:56.51
gav
Wasn't she with the guy from fucking Twilight that's not um robin pat Robert Pattinson?

00:34:02.07
Bevo
ah Taylor Lautner? Or are you just getting the names mixed up?

00:34:03.38
gav
that Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. i think i think I think she was with an actor who was perhaps in the Twilight franchise. I could be completely cooked there. um I don't know my Taylor history all that well. Jake Gyllenhaal, right?

00:34:17.04
Bevo
Yeah.

00:34:17.78
gav
Yeah.

00:34:17.92
Mad Dog
Really?

00:34:18.12
Bevo
Yeah. All these guys are not very good, unfortunately.

00:34:21.57
Mad Dog
Wow.

00:34:21.67
gav
In the sack.

00:34:22.39
Bevo
Yeah.

00:34:22.90
gav
Yeah.

00:34:22.95
Chibbs
Bad in the sack.

00:34:25.14
Mad Dog
Wow.

00:34:25.13
Chibbs
Yeah. Yeah.

00:34:26.40
Bevo
The curse.

00:34:26.48
Mad Dog
Okay.

00:34:26.55
Chibbs
They probably like ah some sort of pine tree. Yeah.

00:34:29.52
Mad Dog
Yeah.

00:34:29.62
gav
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:34:30.23
Mad Dog
They're no redwood. Redwood.

00:34:31.38
Bevo
Some kind of chopstick.

00:34:31.89
gav
a stunt A stunted oak on the side of a windy rock-swept hillside.

00:34:35.35
Bevo
if Sapling.

00:34:37.03
gav
Rocky wind-swept hillside.

00:34:37.42
Bevo
Yeah.

00:34:40.78
gav
A little bit bent over.

00:34:43.24
Chibbs
um And now my next song, Stunted Oak.

00:34:44.05
Bevo
like

00:34:47.44
Bevo
Like Charlie Brown's Christmas tree.

00:34:50.86
Mad Dog
It is.

00:34:51.49
Chibbs
ah She does another pre-chorus. It's the same thing. she makes She wants to be made Amish and there's a key to open her thighs.

00:34:56.72
Bevo
yeah that's, that's it

00:34:58.84
Chibbs
That's it. was It was released on the 3rd of October, 2025.

00:35:01.29
gav
oh

00:35:05.09
Chibbs
That days after the towers

00:35:08.67
gav
that might be the most That might be the most days but we've ever yeah that we've ever had after the towers.

00:35:12.01
Chibbs
There might be the most days.

00:35:13.56
Mad Dog
It is.

00:35:13.84
Bevo
Well, it came out like a couple of days ago.

00:35:16.61
Chibbs
It came out just very recently.

00:35:16.92
gav
Yeah, my point exactly.

00:35:17.20
Bevo
That's

00:35:17.96
Mad Dog
it is

00:35:20.11
Chibbs
It's impressively from her...

00:35:21.66
gav
so Time.

00:35:22.57
Bevo
the way time works.

00:35:23.04
gav
thought you were just heaving aside, just like, man, time, time, ain't it a thing?

00:35:23.36
Chibbs
yeah time.

00:35:27.10
Mad Dog
Just time.

00:35:30.68
gav
Yeah.

00:35:30.96
Bevo
Well, I was thinking about when you listen to this later in the future, it's to be even further away.

00:35:31.86
Chibbs
Ch-ch-changes. Changes.

00:35:33.27
Mad Dog
yeah boy. 12.

00:35:35.92
gav
a

00:35:38.03
Mad Dog
boy

00:35:38.42
Chibbs
It's from her 12th studio album, Life of a Showgirl. 12 studio albums. That's impressive.

00:35:43.53
Mad Dog
twelve

00:35:44.54
gav
That's stacked. That's a big fucking catalogue.

00:35:46.59
Chibbs
Yeah.

00:35:46.68
Bevo
Beatles had 12, 12, 14. I can't remember, but I can't remember.

00:35:49.15
Chibbs
You should know, mate.

00:35:50.36
gav
You of all people should know.

00:35:52.40
Chibbs
You shot John Lennon.

00:35:52.76
Bevo
I don't know. Not good with numbers.

00:35:57.67
Chibbs
ah It's written by Taylor Swift, Max Martin, and Shellback, which imagine is some sort of Pokemon...

00:36:03.01
gav
ni ni Nick, Nick Shellback.

00:36:04.51
Bevo
Nah, it's like it's like a Ninja Turtle pseudonym.

00:36:07.19
Chibbs
Yeah.

00:36:07.37
Bevo
Yeah. laseudony

00:36:07.76
Mad Dog
The shell back.

00:36:09.30
Chibbs
Yeah.

00:36:12.32
Chibbs
It's Ninja Turtles Order of Wish. Collect all seven.

00:36:15.29
Bevo
Showback.

00:36:15.46
gav
ah

00:36:15.84
Bevo
Mm.

00:36:16.61
Chibbs
Shall...

00:36:19.88
gav
hello

00:36:23.90
Chibbs
she

00:36:24.11
Mad Dog
we've We've got a lot of Swedish influence again.

00:36:27.30
gav
This evening, yeah.

00:36:27.55
Mad Dog
Hmm.

00:36:27.64
Chibbs
Yeah, it's been quite the Swedish one, hasn't Shelback initially started his career as a heavy metal guitarist before transitioning into pop music, production and songwriting.

00:36:32.93
gav
Woo.

00:36:36.92
Chibbs
ah Max Martin makes hits. That's what he does. He consistently has done so for about 30 years. He was behind Taylor Swift's Shake It Off and Blank Space.

00:36:43.63
gav
Nice.

00:36:47.54
gav
Oh, two fucking good songs.

00:36:49.72
Chibbs
He did a lot of the 1989 album, but those two are...

00:36:49.70
gav
Jesus Christ.

00:36:53.11
Bevo
I hear a bit of 1989 in this album.

00:36:55.74
gav
I think there's a ah bit in there too. it's um It's that lighter...

00:36:58.09
Chibbs
Not enough.

00:37:00.46
gav
but

00:37:00.82
Chibbs
Yeah, i I guess. I mean, to be fair, anything after that absolute fucking dog turd that she laid after the Eres tour, that Dead Poets Society or whatever the fuck it was called, where she just went, i'm going I am Lana Del Rey now.

00:37:16.21
Bevo
I didn't listen to it.

00:37:19.46
Chibbs
I do Lana Del Rey music.

00:37:20.39
Bevo
Yeah.

00:37:21.21
Chibbs
And you went, yeah, right.

00:37:21.34
Bevo
Yeah.

00:37:21.31
gav
tortured Tortured Poets Department, I think.

00:37:23.17
Chibbs
Yeah. it's called, oh, right.

00:37:24.12
gav
Yeah.

00:37:24.86
Chibbs
So boring.

00:37:26.64
gav
Ha ha ha ha

00:37:26.97
Mad Dog
Mm-hmm.

00:37:27.61
Chibbs
And how many songs are there? 31. Double album.

00:37:30.72
gav
ah

00:37:31.09
Bevo
Well, have you heard this, this new album?

00:37:31.78
Chibbs
ah Unnecessary.

00:37:32.62
Bevo
There are, is it 29 variants that you can buy? 27 or like 20, something around 20, high

00:37:36.21
Chibbs
That's stupid.

00:37:36.32
gav
there are what

00:37:39.95
Chibbs
It's like fucking COVID strains.

00:37:40.50
gav
fuck

00:37:40.67
Bevo
i twenty s Yeah. And it's like all the different, you can get all the different vinyl variant, colored variants, and then the different covers and tape, you know, cassette tape and,

00:37:42.84
gav
but

00:37:47.76
Chibbs
she She knows how to sort turn a buck.

00:37:52.59
gav
That's pretty wild.

00:37:53.10
Bevo
crazy.

00:37:53.44
Chibbs
Yeah, it's very impressive. um Apparently the lyrics are sexual metaphors, ah ah according to according to the internet.

00:38:00.79
Bevo
I didn't hear that. Didn't hear that at all.

00:38:03.25
Mad Dog
Really? 100%.

00:38:03.92
Chibbs
Yeah. Can we just quickly hear, fellas, discuss, has Taylor Swift pulled a Katy Perry here?

00:38:15.46
Bevo
flew Flew too close to the space.

00:38:15.48
Mad Dog
hundred percent

00:38:15.62
Chibbs
Or not, not, on or not? Has she gone too close to space?

00:38:18.14
gav
ah quite quite literally flew too close to the sun.

00:38:19.63
Chibbs
and she got too close base Yeah.

00:38:25.42
Chibbs
Like...

00:38:26.26
gav
I mean, okay, so look, on a scale of like, I mean, raised fist to Katy Perry, um let's let's say

00:38:32.07
Chibbs
Yeah. yeah

00:38:33.41
Mad Dog
Great. That's a good scale.

00:38:34.97
gav
let's say that let's say that Taylor Swift is certainly closer to Katy Perry, but I certainly don't think she's at that level.

00:38:42.67
Chibbs
Yeah, I think I agree with you.

00:38:43.67
gav
Yeah.

00:38:44.03
Chibbs
I don't think she is at Katy Perry level, but...

00:38:45.45
Mad Dog
No.

00:38:46.12
gav
she's starting She's starting to, you know, she's approaching, she's on that trajectory perhaps.

00:38:49.74
Mad Dog
She's on take. She's on on the runway. Yeah.

00:38:52.36
Chibbs
She's...

00:38:52.64
gav
But

00:38:52.79
Bevo
This is the Taylor Swift Star Wars The Phantom Menace of Taylor Swift albums.

00:38:52.92
Chibbs
She's...

00:38:56.86
Chibbs
Yeah.

00:38:56.96
gav
yeah, yeah, that's I think where we're at.

00:38:57.90
Mad Dog
Yeah.

00:38:58.28
Chibbs
She...

00:38:58.69
Bevo
25 years from now, people are going to be like, that album fucking rocked.

00:39:01.60
gav
ah Okay, so no, that's the other thing though.

00:39:01.94
Bevo
But at the time,

00:39:03.56
gav
You can have an absolute stinker in the catalogue. It's a fucking 12 album catalogue. You can't have 12 fucking hit, absolute fucking smack bang albums.

00:39:09.13
Chibbs
No. Yeah, I get it.

00:39:11.22
gav
Next album could be an absolute fucking diamond. Who knows? You know what I mean?

00:39:14.11
Chibbs
Do you think it's just...

00:39:14.45
Bevo
I think the real question is, is the album shitty or people just turning on Taylor?

00:39:14.46
gav
But like,

00:39:19.99
Chibbs
I don't...

00:39:20.01
gav
You mean is it more of a public perception thing like despite the music or in spite of the music perhaps?

00:39:22.13
Bevo
Yeah. Yeah. Despite the music.

00:39:25.55
gav
Yeah.

00:39:26.91
Mad Dog
Yeah, I think that's a thing.

00:39:27.06
gav
I mean, then then what the fuck are we doing it for though? You know what I mean? That's so weird. It's weird that you can have people turn on an artist as a person and then it translates to that's a bad album. It's like, is it a good album or is it not a good album? That's all that should fucking matter.

00:39:29.16
Mad Dog
It's just... Yeah.

00:39:42.86
gav
You know?

00:39:43.13
Mad Dog
it's just

00:39:43.22
gav
I don't know.

00:39:44.40
Chibbs
falls down to

00:39:45.95
gav
Like Katy Perry's was a bad fucking album.

00:39:46.05
Chibbs
it is Bad album, right?

00:39:48.10
gav
Like bad fucking album.

00:39:48.96
Chibbs
But also, also ah is she selling, is it herself that she is selling or is it the music that's selling?

00:39:55.17
Mad Dog
yeah

00:39:56.90
Chibbs
Like what are these crazy Swifties, are they obsessed with her or are they obsessed with her music?

00:40:02.50
Mad Dog
Correct.

00:40:02.67
Bevo
Well, this is this is like what I said before, is that all her songs, well, not all her songs, but a lot of her songs are about specific people.

00:40:02.91
Mad Dog
That's

00:40:09.65
Bevo
So you're almost buying into the latest bit of drama in Taylor Swift's world.

00:40:12.94
Mad Dog
correct

00:40:14.79
gav
I guess that, yeah, the product has gone beyond the the music.

00:40:18.04
Mad Dog
that's right

00:40:18.11
gav
That's just so weird to me as a concept though.

00:40:20.46
Mad Dog
that's That's what's grinding on me so much, that she she so she thinks that everyone wants to listen to a song about her particular boyfriend's dick, and that's something that everyone wants, and we should be fucking grateful that it's out there for us to listen to.

00:40:20.39
gav
That's just, yeah.

00:40:39.21
Chibbs
Thank you.

00:40:41.10
Bevo
See, I don't think she's thinking that hard about it. She probably didn't go...

00:40:44.30
gav
the

00:40:47.13
gav
but not C apparently. I'd Googled it, by the way.

00:40:48.96
Mad Dog
yeah

00:40:50.05
gav
Couldn't find a single real photo of Travis Kelsey's dick. Found a lot of AI porn.

00:40:53.92
Bevo
safe search off and everything.

00:40:54.89
gav
Yeah.

00:40:56.27
Mad Dog
That's what's grinding on me. Yeah.

00:40:59.28
gav
um

00:40:59.53
Chibbs
Do you think it gets to a point, she started as this like country artist that wrote all of her own songs, she'd have an acoustic guitar, she'd write songs, she'd go record them, and she had a band, and you could tell there was actually musicians and instruments on the recordings, that she's now, whatever it is, a billionaire, biggest celebrity on earth, but...

00:41:00.85
gav
yeah

00:41:21.40
Chibbs
so the music But the music is no longer backing up the height of the persona. So you you go in not you've got to live off past stuff.

00:41:27.95
Mad Dog
Yeah.

00:41:32.11
Chibbs
But she is so out of touch now with reality, her fan base, everything.

00:41:39.91
gav
but with the With the working man. Yeah.

00:41:42.92
Mad Dog
Yeah.

00:41:43.96
Chibbs
yeah It's just, um if so yeah um but yeah, I think that's what it's like.

00:41:44.74
gav
yeah

00:41:45.85
Mad Dog
She's a microsecond from a spaceship.

00:41:50.53
Chibbs
So every time you see her interviewed, it seems so um disingenuous, all of it.

00:41:57.39
Mad Dog
Mm-hmm.

00:41:58.34
Bevo
Yeah.

00:41:58.49
gav
Yeah.

00:41:59.19
Chibbs
And you you talk about, oh, my boyfriend was so excited.

00:41:59.72
gav
I mean, fuck, you're right though. ah A billionaire's mindset has to be so different from the rest of us.

00:42:03.94
Chibbs
Yeah.

00:42:05.43
gav
it's Surely it is hard to make relatable material when you're living a literal top 1% echelon of all fucking wealthy people.

00:42:14.59
Chibbs
I think what she, we we spoke about this earlier in the week, but I think what she needs to do for her next album is go, I'm moving back to Nashville.

00:42:14.78
gav
Like Christ.

00:42:22.90
Chibbs
I'm going into a recording studio with country musicians and I'm going to record a country album with a real band.

00:42:25.12
Mad Dog
hundred your percent

00:42:25.34
Bevo
yeah

00:42:25.84
Mad Dog
100% Absolutely.

00:42:30.19
gav
So we did talk about that because because look at how many great pop artists have gone country recently and it's absolutely fucking posty.

00:42:35.51
Chibbs
Beyonce released a country album.

00:42:38.10
gav
Posty is country as fuck now.

00:42:39.07
Chibbs
Yeah. Yeah.

00:42:40.28
gav
And it's smashing it. Like it's doing really well. Some of Sabrina's bigger ones are very Dolly Parton influenced by ah by a mile.

00:42:45.09
Bevo
Super country. Yeah.

00:42:47.51
gav
And then you've got Taylor Swift, an absolute prior country icon being like, we're pop now.

00:42:49.01
Chibbs
But don't...

00:42:52.74
Chibbs
Yeah, but don't don't but don't do what Sabrina Carpenter did where it's like, I'm going to a pop producer to try and make fake country music.

00:42:52.79
gav
ah

00:42:53.31
Mad Dog
Yeah.

00:43:01.19
Chibbs
Go make a real country album.

00:43:01.42
gav
Yeah.

00:43:03.17
Mad Dog
Yeah.

00:43:03.21
gav
Yeah.

00:43:03.33
Mad Dog
Yep. ye

00:43:04.71
Chibbs
Go do that.

00:43:04.75
gav
That'd be fun. Yeah.

00:43:07.05
Chibbs
Write some fucking songs on a guitar.

00:43:07.82
gav
Ah. Ah. Ah

00:43:10.56
Bevo
Having said that, though, this song sounds like it's all instruments. Not many of them, but it sounds like real drums to me, and guitar at least.

00:43:15.41
Chibbs
Oh, fuck, you reckon? ah I don't think it does at all. I think that guitar sounds like a keyboard.

00:43:21.28
gav
hu

00:43:22.70
Bevo
It sounds like a guitar that's plugged straight into the console, which is... I don't like it, personally, but...

00:43:26.63
Chibbs
Yeah, it's bad. It's fucking bad sounding.

00:43:28.59
Bevo
yeah

00:43:29.96
Chibbs
even And this is probably the best fucking sounding song on the whole album.

00:43:33.76
Bevo
It sounds to me...

00:43:34.41
gav
but

00:43:35.06
Bevo
was going to talk about this later, but it sounds to me like there's one instrument missing.

00:43:39.07
Chibbs
Yeah, it's very...

00:43:39.12
Bevo
Like, it doesn't...

00:43:39.94
Chibbs
There's a lot of space in it. Yeah.

00:43:41.31
Bevo
It doesn't hit.

00:43:41.76
gav
Can I tell you can i tell you which instruments it says are on the track?

00:43:45.13
Chibbs
yeah

00:43:46.07
gav
It says we have... no, it said bass clarinet. if you're wondering... baritone s sas but a base clarinet chillo clevernet drums electric guitar and flute

00:43:57.24
Mad Dog
Flute.

00:43:58.07
Bevo
you say bass guitar? Did I miss that?

00:43:59.93
gav
no no it's said base clarinet so if you're wondering

00:44:02.14
Bevo
So there's no bass guitar.

00:44:04.10
gav
Apparently not.

00:44:05.32
Chibbs
They've done the shake it off thing where they've just done everything with horns.

00:44:05.50
Bevo
What? What?

00:44:08.76
Bevo
Right.

00:44:08.83
gav
Bass clarinet.

00:44:09.47
Mad Dog
ah

00:44:09.56
gav
It doesn't say bass guitar anyway.

00:44:10.34
Bevo
Maybe that's what it's missing. A bass guitar.

00:44:11.88
Chibbs
and Maybe it's missing a fundamental fundamental.

00:44:12.34
gav
Maybe it's just missing a fucking bass guitar.

00:44:15.57
Chibbs
Well, you, you dying for the base because it's, I want you back by the Jackson five that has one of the best baselines ever.

00:44:20.20
Bevo
Yeah.

00:44:22.65
Chibbs
So when they do it, you go, yes. Yep. No, no. Yes. No.

00:44:27.80
Bevo
but's It's that thing where you listen to a song and you're like, I could be listening to, I want you back. So you go turn that off and put that on because it's like, you want that flavor.

00:44:33.24
Chibbs
and put that on. It's not about um Travis Kelsey's cock. Yeah.

00:44:39.21
gav
But you're right, though.

00:44:39.39
Bevo
Okay.

00:44:39.40
Chibbs
aht think I ah don't think i want you back by Jackson 5.

00:44:39.97
gav
thatynth The synth popper, that

00:44:42.78
Chibbs
It's about Travis Kelsey's cock.

00:44:44.44
Bevo
It's funny because it's sung by a 12 year old Michael Jackson singing about wanting someone back in a relationship.

00:44:44.83
gav
that's the thing, though. That's that's what...

00:44:49.94
Chibbs
Yeah.

00:44:52.52
gav
But yeah, a synth pop song like that, if you've got that bass there with it, it's just like that is such an instant win combo. You know what i mean? It's just like any any catchy synth pop with a fat bass.

00:45:00.59
Chibbs
It is. Yeah.

00:45:03.86
gav
lot Look at Espresso. Jesus Christ. Anything like that, it's like that works because it's just got, it's like a magical combo.

00:45:08.44
Chibbs
Yeah.

00:45:11.41
gav
And this is, like you say, Bevo, it's missing that other half.

00:45:14.13
Chibbs
missing it. There is no video for it, but I will tell you, ah will tell you that she, when she released the album,

00:45:16.63
Bevo
It's too new.

00:45:16.87
gav
There isn't.

00:45:20.05
Bevo
Not on this side of the internet anyway.

00:45:21.59
Chibbs
yeah see

00:45:22.62
Mad Dog
Really?

00:45:23.71
Chibbs
she did a, um she did a, like a big launch at movie theaters for it. So you could go to the movies and watch this big theatrical release.

00:45:30.33
Mad Dog
real

00:45:33.92
Chibbs
it went

00:45:33.95
gav
of this album.

00:45:34.93
Chibbs
It was like in a hundred countries or something for this, this theatrical release I did.

00:45:37.15
Bevo
Yeah, yeah.

00:45:37.51
gav
Jesus.

00:45:39.92
Chibbs
um i saw a clip from the mama mia network you know the um women's network that talks about periods and menstrual pads um so they would they went and saw it and they uh they watched it and they said it was the biggest fucking cringe fest

00:45:44.49
Bevo
He loved him. Yeah. There's another callback. Ooh.

00:45:52.44
gav
okay

00:46:00.02
Bevo
o

00:46:00.26
Mad Dog
oh

00:46:00.32
Chibbs
they have ever seen.

00:46:00.66
gav
oh

00:46:01.51
Chibbs
They said it was lazy.

00:46:02.20
gav
ah

00:46:04.13
Chibbs
The entire thing was made up of shitty lyric videos that you would see someone make on YouTube.

00:46:08.15
Bevo
can I tell you something I saw online the other day cracked me up. Someone said like, I, um, I made fun of the new Taylor Swift album and I got zero death threats from Swifties, which shows how bad it is.

00:46:18.87
gav
a

00:46:19.01
Bevo
Hmm.

00:46:19.22
Chibbs
Yeah. Yeah.

00:46:21.87
Mad Dog
Zero death threats.

00:46:22.61
gav
ah

00:46:24.32
Chibbs
ah

00:46:24.78
gav
ah

00:46:25.63
Chibbs
They said the worst part about it, apparently there was a behind the scenes of her making this movie thing, whatever it was.

00:46:26.67
gav
Oh, fuck.

00:46:34.99
gav
So wait, not behind the scenes making the album, making the lyric video movie.

00:46:37.32
Chibbs
No. Yeah, sure. and

00:46:39.49
gav
ah Okay.

00:46:40.36
Chibbs
And she wanted to have her sourdough bread featured in the video that she makes. And when she's when she's told, you can have the bread in the video, she jumps around like a like ah like like a little kid with excitement as if...

00:46:48.17
gav
ah

00:46:55.31
Bevo
Oh, like Tom Cruise on Oprah's couch.

00:46:58.30
Mad Dog
Yeah. yeah

00:47:00.11
gav
ah

00:47:00.71
Chibbs
And I'm just, I'm like, as if she's not the one in charge. Like...

00:47:05.73
Mad Dog
I'm not buying this.

00:47:06.82
Chibbs
You know, someone has to tell, can I please put my bread in the video?

00:47:07.14
Mad Dog
Yeah.

00:47:07.18
Bevo
Do you guys remember, speaking of Michael Jackson...

00:47:10.32
Chibbs
And they're like, no, no.

00:47:10.45
gav
the the the the the pr ah The PR guy in a suit and glasses is like, you you cannot do that.

00:47:14.30
Chibbs
Yeah. No.

00:47:16.01
gav
we

00:47:16.53
Chibbs
It's up to her.

00:47:16.62
gav
We cannot get...

00:47:17.63
Chibbs
If she says, I'm putting the bread in the video, they'll go, okay, I guess, can we get lighting?

00:47:17.76
gav
we get toaster on the bread, please?

00:47:23.09
Chibbs
Lighting on the bread, please.

00:47:23.95
gav
Sorry, carry on. Ha ha ha ha ha!

00:47:25.70
Bevo
Have you guys seen, you know, that Michael Jackson, Michael Jackson is this it concert film thing where he's like, he's just like kind of requesting stuff and everyone everyone's like, Michael needs a sandwich.

00:47:25.86
gav
can we get toast can we get toaster on the bread please

00:47:28.59
Chibbs
it

00:47:28.66
gav
sorry carry on

00:47:30.76
Chibbs
Yeah. Yes. Yep.

00:47:37.53
gav
but

00:47:38.03
Chibbs
yeah

00:47:38.39
Mad Dog
Mike.

00:47:39.05
Bevo
Everything drops for Michael.

00:47:40.65
Chibbs
Yeah, he just like, i'm i am hungry, and they're like, holy shit.

00:47:40.85
gav
Did you ever watch...

00:47:41.15
Mad Dog
by

00:47:41.61
gav
um

00:47:45.43
gav
Did you ever watch...

00:47:45.58
Bevo
Production. Production.

00:47:46.57
gav
Oh, fuck. With Bob and David. ah David Cross and um Bob Odenkirk did a TV...

00:47:52.95
Chibbs
No, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:47:53.72
gav
They've done a few TV shows, but... There's a great scene with him, like David Cross is playing a film director who is exactly like that. He's like, get me a dog. like so ah you'll you'll You'll have to go get him a dog.

00:48:07.43
gav
You've got to watch it. He's like, it it culminates in him being like, go do this or I'll blow my fucking brains out. You think I won't fucking do it? And then he just blows his fucking brains out.

00:48:18.59
Chibbs
Yeah.

00:48:19.17
Bevo
Chibsy, can I ask, is your daughter, was she was a Swifty, wasn't she? Or is, still is?

00:48:23.44
Chibbs
Yeah, she has listened to this album, but I don't ah don't hear it.

00:48:28.09
Bevo
Has she got a take on it? I'd love to know.

00:48:31.84
Chibbs
yeah She thinks it's okay. it she's she's It's not reputation. Her favourite is reputation and the same producers and everything.

00:48:39.50
Bevo
Yeah, okay.

00:48:39.96
gav
Okay, okay.

00:48:42.24
Chibbs
and She's, yeah, just basically like it's fine.

00:48:47.12
gav
Could be a grower.

00:48:47.98
Bevo
Yeah.

00:48:47.92
gav
Could be a grower.

00:48:48.04
Mad Dog
Okay.

00:48:48.86
Chibbs
It's fine.

00:48:49.16
Bevo
yeah

00:48:49.15
gav
were This is hot off the press, to be fair. We're we're doing this track early. it This album could be a grower.

00:48:54.17
Chibbs
Yeah. It could. And also, if Taylor Swift announced an Australian tour tomorrow, I would have to go and buy tickets because she would want to go to it.

00:49:02.95
Bevo
Yeah, yeah,

00:49:03.03
Chibbs
So, yeah.

00:49:04.19
gav
you went You went to the Aeros tour, right?

00:49:06.44
Chibbs
No, um I didn't. i went to eto I went to the tour before that.

00:49:08.20
gav
Oh, you missed u tickets. Yeah, okay. Yeah.

00:49:11.28
Chibbs
The last time she was out before that, I went, yeah.

00:49:13.85
Mad Dog
ah did I will just jump in. I did find a um comment on genius.

00:49:17.64
Bevo
yeah.

00:49:17.93
Chibbs
A picture of Travis Kelsey's erect penis.

00:49:18.22
Bevo
A picture.

00:49:18.55
gav
Oh, it's just...

00:49:19.22
Bevo
Yeah.

00:49:19.35
gav
I was literally... You have never disappointed me more when you said comment.

00:49:22.82
Chibbs
yeah

00:49:23.33
gav
I was just like, there's Kelsey Dick.

00:49:27.96
Mad Dog
um

00:49:27.96
gav
Dick.

00:49:29.56
Mad Dog
Yeah, one guy just wrote two simple words. Ear cancer. Yeah.

00:49:35.45
gav
Oh.

00:49:35.59
Chibbs
ah

00:49:35.83
gav
Rough.

00:49:36.09
Bevo
well It's not that bad.

00:49:36.57
gav
Rough.

00:49:37.51
Chibbs
i

00:49:37.90
gav
rough rough

00:49:41.55
Chibbs
um now has she done this in a live set nah okay yeah nothing yeah she's not playing any shows just put it out no show um

00:49:45.67
Bevo
Nah, she hasn't done any live sets.

00:49:49.48
Bevo
It's too fresh. Yeah.

00:49:51.77
gav
Christ, she was just on tour for like two years straight, wasn't she?

00:49:54.56
Bevo
yeah Yeah.

00:49:54.83
gav
Fuck.

00:49:55.42
Chibbs
Yeah, but if you...

00:49:55.75
Bevo
Give her plane a rest.

00:49:57.46
gav
yeah

00:49:57.57
Chibbs
she's she's gone She's gone on all these TV shows to do an interview. It's like, why... She's she's a musician. Like, why wouldn't she play a song as well?

00:50:06.03
Mad Dog
no

00:50:06.04
gav
That is the general formula.

00:50:06.46
Chibbs
That's what I mean. She's not a musician anymore.

00:50:07.19
Bevo
didn't have to yeah yeah it's it's interesting you're seeing like we found the line almost and it's like does she either go harder or does she sort of back off

00:50:08.09
Chibbs
She's a celebrity.

00:50:09.59
Mad Dog
Correct.

00:50:11.50
gav
Oh my god.

00:50:18.32
Chibbs
if she If she tries to do this again, it will go very bad. She needs to take a... She needs to fucking smash the handbrake on...

00:50:27.59
Mad Dog
But who who tells her the truth at this stage?

00:50:27.70
Bevo
this is like i like to compare it to metallica in a way it's like they've

00:50:29.03
gav
She needs a fucking I think Pitchfork had ah had a great take on this album, or this particular track, actually.

00:50:32.44
Chibbs
one.

00:50:32.79
Bevo
She's just put out her sane anger and now does she go with Lulu or does she take some time off?

00:50:35.56
Mad Dog
Yeah.

00:50:36.88
Chibbs
Yeah. Yeah.

00:50:44.09
gav
This song. um pitchfork it Pitchfork said it has the spiritual energy.

00:50:48.84
Bevo
Pitchfork.

00:50:50.64
gav
Pitchfork.

00:50:51.56
Mad Dog
Pitchfuck.

00:50:51.57
Bevo
That's the Miss Piggy.

00:50:51.52
gav
Sorry.

00:50:53.22
Bevo
Pitchfork.

00:50:53.28
Mad Dog
and

00:50:53.59
Chibbs
yeah It's, so I always look up my reviews from the Muppet Cinematic Universe.

00:51:01.70
gav
Oh, fucking hell. Fitch Pork said, um spiritual energy of a bachelorette party penis decor.

00:51:11.11
Chibbs
Yeah, pretty much.

00:51:11.65
gav
Which I think is, it's it's on the money.

00:51:11.78
Mad Dog
Pretty much, yeah.

00:51:11.90
Bevo
well Yeah, yeah.

00:51:12.15
Chibbs
Plastic, plastic dicks, dick straws, stuff like that.

00:51:13.96
Mad Dog
That's a good...

00:51:16.34
Chibbs
Yeah, they're

00:51:16.65
gav
Yeah.

00:51:22.76
Chibbs
Enjoy it.

00:51:23.21
gav
What the fuck is with your double tapping fingers tonight?

00:51:24.66
Chibbs
I don't know, man.

00:51:24.99
Bevo
Makes sense.

00:51:25.32
Chibbs
like it's I'm not double tapping it.

00:51:26.31
gav
Jesus Christ.

00:51:27.40
Chibbs
it's

00:51:27.80
gav
Get it together.

00:51:28.05
Chibbs
It's some but some glitch thing. I have to delete the entire soundboard and re-upload them for it not to do it, and I don't want to do that.

00:51:30.98
gav
Yeah, it's what they all say.

00:51:35.13
gav
ah That's fair.

00:51:36.32
Chibbs
um So according to review aggregator a Metacritic, the album received generally favourable reviews based on the weighted average.

00:51:44.28
Bevo
Rolling Stone gave it 10 out of 10. Hmm.

00:51:46.03
Chibbs
They gave it fucking 10 out of 10.

00:51:46.52
Mad Dog
Really?

00:51:46.82
gav
out of fucking 10.

00:51:48.09
Chibbs
Rolling Stone. This is know Rolling Stone of just...

00:51:49.62
Mad Dog
That's ridiculous.

00:51:50.82
Chibbs
um i actually fucking wrote this here rolling stone gave it five stars um and it's the perfect example of journalism failing us because of that they're held hostage by labels and popular artists because no one fucking buys or reads any of their shit anymore so if they're mean about them

00:52:01.86
Mad Dog
There goes all credibility.

00:52:12.05
Bevo
It's funny, Rolling Stone, notoriously, back in the 70s, was used to like rag on like Led Zeppelin and like all the best bands.

00:52:17.91
gav
Yeah,

00:52:18.27
Mad Dog
Yeah.

00:52:18.51
Bevo
They just fucking put them to shame.

00:52:21.05
Chibbs
So they know that Taylor Swift basically props the entire music industry up.

00:52:21.09
Mad Dog
Yeah.

00:52:26.26
Chibbs
And if she fails, the entire industry fails.

00:52:29.54
Bevo
Yeah. Well, it's funny.

00:52:30.36
Chibbs
They've got but all of them.

00:52:30.52
Bevo
Do you ever go to JB Hi-Fi?

00:52:32.71
Chibbs
Yeah. All of them have such a vested interest in this being well-received.

00:52:37.56
Mad Dog
The banks are too failed.

00:52:37.51
gav
This succeeding, yeah, yep.

00:52:39.52
Bevo
You know, you go to you go to JB Hi-Fi and you go to the vinyl section, there's like pop, rock, metal, popular, whatever.

00:52:45.05
Chibbs
Hmm.

00:52:46.58
Bevo
And then there's just a Taylor Swift section, like a like row.

00:52:48.90
Chibbs
Yeah.

00:52:49.01
gav
ah

00:52:50.30
Chibbs
Yeah.

00:52:50.71
Mad Dog
That's nuts.

00:52:51.49
gav
Well, apparently this album broke like all the the vinyl records in particular.

00:52:51.61
Chibbs
Yeah.

00:52:51.90
Bevo
Yeah.

00:52:55.22
Bevo
Well, she, yeah, apparently she holds up vinyl production when she puts albums out because like things just stop so that they can print enough albums to meet the demand.

00:52:55.65
gav
like

00:53:03.71
Chibbs
Damn.

00:53:03.85
gav
Jesus Christ.

00:53:04.17
Bevo
It's nuts.

00:53:04.19
Mad Dog
Wow.

00:53:04.77
Bevo
It's crazy.

00:53:06.59
Chibbs
I'd fucking hate to have this on vinyl.

00:53:06.77
Mad Dog
That's...

00:53:09.64
Mad Dog
Yeah.

00:53:10.05
gav
I've got 1989. That's the only Taylor album I have on vinyl, I think.

00:53:13.09
Chibbs
Yeah, great.

00:53:14.12
Bevo
I have any of them.

00:53:14.67
Chibbs
Cool.

00:53:15.06
Bevo
I'd get 1989, think, of all of them. of old

00:53:17.17
gav
Great fucking album.

00:53:17.26
Chibbs
Yeah.

00:53:18.45
gav
Fantastic album.

00:53:19.59
Chibbs
So, yeah, the the Metacritic score gives it a 68 out of 100. yeah,

00:53:23.52
gav
That's honestly...

00:53:23.61
Chibbs
and

00:53:24.21
Mad Dog
It's getting closer.

00:53:25.49
gav
I feel like, yeah, there seems to be a disconnect between what the the general, like, the internet's mood on the album is versus the Metacritic score aggregator.

00:53:34.71
Chibbs
ah yeah I'm telling you, like...

00:53:35.19
Bevo
Yeah, well, it's it's full it's a full Nickelback situation where it's like, even if you didn't think it was shit, it's hard to ignore the the throbbing mass.

00:53:35.92
Chibbs
so

00:53:36.26
gav
Yeah.

00:53:43.27
gav
how How much everyone... Yeah. the the the Yeah.

00:53:46.59
Bevo
Yeah.

00:53:46.88
Mad Dog
Robbie.

00:53:48.68
gav
throbbing mass. Hell yeah.

00:53:50.47
Mad Dog
ah

00:53:50.48
gav
Yeah.

00:53:51.03
Chibbs
yeah

00:54:03.10
gav
Fuck.

00:54:03.84
Chibbs
Fuck me, Jesus.

00:54:04.05
gav
yeah

00:54:04.53
Mad Dog
Yeah.

00:54:04.68
gav
fuck

00:54:04.88
Mad Dog
1.1 billion

00:54:05.82
Chibbs
ah Mad Dog, what do you put Taylor Swift's net worth at?

00:54:10.94
gav
Oh, interesting.

00:54:11.13
Chibbs
Gavin?

00:54:11.66
Mad Dog
billion

00:54:12.75
gav
Do

00:54:12.92
Chibbs
Billion.

00:54:16.65
gav
you reckon she's cracked 100 millis since the... I think the era 2 is where she cracked a bill, right?

00:54:21.86
Chibbs
Yeah,

00:54:22.08
gav
Like, that was that was quite recent. Has she... i mean, there's another album we'll fucking to since then. Jesus Christ. I'm going 1.2.

00:54:31.88
Chibbs
Bevo?

00:54:32.12
Bevo
I wanted to say 1.4 was my guess.

00:54:35.19
Mad Dog
oh

00:54:36.19
Chibbs
None of you are even close.

00:54:38.20
gav
Oh, for fuck's sake. Where are we at?

00:54:42.63
Chibbs
2.1 billion dollars.

00:54:43.28
gav
Oh, get the fuck out!

00:54:43.91
Mad Dog
Oh, you're kidding.

00:54:45.18
Bevo
Whoa.

00:54:45.92
gav
When the fuck did she crack the double? Are you fucking with me?

00:54:50.10
Bevo
Wow.

00:54:50.57
Chibbs
I'm not.

00:54:51.57
Mad Dog
Wow.

00:54:52.69
gav
Oh.

00:54:52.91
Mad Dog
That's nuts, man.

00:54:53.05
Bevo
that's And that's entirely off albums and touring and like, yeah, that's not a fragrance and,

00:54:56.63
gav
oh

00:54:56.90
Mad Dog
Which no one does anymore. No one else can do that.

00:54:59.89
gav
Holy fucking shit.

00:55:02.42
Mad Dog
she' got a She's got a scent.

00:55:02.64
gav
I mean, and some at some point at some point, it's your investment portfolio as well.

00:55:03.66
Mad Dog
That's shit.

00:55:05.19
Chibbs
She must have

00:55:07.51
gav
Because if you if you've got a billion dollars, you are... When you've got that much money, you just accrue money.

00:55:14.89
Chibbs
a scent.

00:55:14.85
gav
That is just like...

00:55:15.18
Bevo
Yeah.

00:55:15.36
Chibbs
You could sink 10 mil into a risky stock and not worry about it.

00:55:15.54
Bevo
yeah

00:55:15.64
Mad Dog
Yeah.

00:55:20.24
gav
Into fucking a thousand risky stocks and not worry about it.

00:55:20.80
Chibbs
Yeah.

00:55:23.67
Chibbs
Yeah.

00:55:24.04
gav
One of those cunts is going to hit. Fuck. Fuck. Holy fuck.

00:55:28.31
Bevo
And like, yeah, cause you think that imagine the interest that accrues in the bank and you just like, you just withdraw thousand bucks every day just for spending money.

00:55:28.57
Mad Dog
That's 2.1.

00:55:28.99
gav
Did you say 2.1? Was that 2.1?

00:55:30.22
Chibbs
2.1. 2.1. Yeah. Yeah.

00:55:31.22
Mad Dog
Yeah.

00:55:31.32
Chibbs
and point one

00:55:31.98
gav
Fuck me drunk.

00:55:34.12
Mad Dog
yeah

00:55:36.26
gav
Oh my God.

00:55:38.90
Chibbs
yeah

00:55:40.36
Bevo
And like, you wouldn't miss a cent.

00:55:41.00
gav
Oh.

00:55:42.69
Mad Dog
No, it's negligible.

00:55:43.81
Bevo
Crazy.

00:55:45.23
Mad Dog
Yeah.

00:55:45.54
gav
I think you're underestimating how big a billion, you can do a million a day and it's negligible.

00:55:48.80
Bevo
Oh, it's... Yeah.

00:55:49.61
Chibbs
yeah

00:55:50.72
gav
That is obscene fucking amount of money.

00:55:54.02
Bevo
Yeah.

00:55:54.75
gav
Oh my God.

00:55:55.03
Mad Dog
It's a thousand million.

00:55:55.04
Bevo
Meanwhile, there's fucking... this Meanwhile, there's people in...

00:55:57.49
Chibbs
shut Travis Kelsey's fucking hit the jackpot.

00:55:57.70
gav
Oh

00:56:01.08
gav
oh my god.

00:56:01.22
Mad Dog
Yeah.

00:56:02.02
Bevo
Meanwhile, there's people in my my town that live in tents that have jobs because they can't find a rental in town.

00:56:07.09
Chibbs
Yeah.

00:56:07.67
Bevo
Yeah, it's fucked.

00:56:08.57
Chibbs
yeah Yeah. They're not Jewish though, are they?

00:56:09.63
gav
oh my god.

00:56:12.35
Mad Dog
No.

00:56:13.46
gav
Wait, is Taylor?

00:56:14.03
Bevo
I don't know what that has to do with anything.

00:56:15.96
Chibbs
Huh?

00:56:16.97
Bevo
No, he reckons there's no Jews in Queensland.

00:56:18.73
Mad Dog
Because, Yeah.

00:56:19.52
gav
Oh, sorry. The no no Jewish people in Queensland joke.

00:56:20.65
Mad Dog
yes

00:56:21.10
Bevo
I don't live in, first of all, I don't live in Queensland. And second of all, I'm sure there's plenty.

00:56:24.05
gav
Yeah, I mean, that's borderline.

00:56:24.15
Chibbs
ah didn't say i ah didn't say I didn't say Queensland. I said where you live.

00:56:28.45
Mad Dog
yeah

00:56:28.49
Chibbs
Let's rate this shit.

00:56:28.61
Bevo
you're Just because I haven't met any doesn't mean they're not here.

00:56:38.65
Bevo
and

00:56:42.86
Chibbs
I'll cut that off before we hear it again. What are we going rate out of?

00:56:49.53
Mad Dog
Dicks?

00:56:49.93
Bevo
Inches. Yeah, inches.

00:56:50.82
gav
oh

00:56:50.99
Mad Dog
Yeah.

00:56:50.99
Chibbs
Inches. Okay, inches.

00:56:52.04
gav
and How many... Oh, feet. Feet of the Redwood.

00:56:54.51
Chibbs
ah fate Well, yeah, it's a redwood.

00:56:55.69
gav
Feet.

00:56:56.47
Chibbs
Redwoods grow, that they're about 400 metres high.

00:56:56.52
Bevo
The mighty red room.

00:56:56.64
gav
Yeah, that's... how many How many yards? How many yards is it?

00:57:00.36
Chibbs
Yeah. yeah

00:57:02.58
gav
New heights of manhood.

00:57:02.77
Bevo
How many furlongs?

00:57:04.41
gav
um Fathoms. don't know. I don't

00:57:08.30
Chibbs
Ten, um the dick is so big that

00:57:09.51
Mad Dog
that's ah

00:57:13.54
gav
think you write a song about it.

00:57:14.88
Chibbs
you just, yeah, it's um like mountain-like. Yeah. And would kill you instantly. And one is a micropenis.

00:57:31.23
gav
ah

00:57:31.74
Bevo
The mushroom at the bottom of the tree.

00:57:32.69
Chibbs
It's funny that the big cock is the bad thing. Yeah,

00:57:36.97
Bevo
Hmm.

00:57:37.00
gav
I mean, at some point it gets too big, right?

00:57:38.84
Chibbs
yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:57:38.95
Mad Dog
Yeah, it is.

00:57:39.08
gav
I mean, i I certainly wouldn't fucking know, but I've heard that at some point it's a problem.

00:57:39.93
Bevo
Hmm.

00:57:40.04
Mad Dog
it is

00:57:45.15
Bevo
Hmm.

00:57:45.40
Chibbs
it Okay.

00:57:45.67
Bevo
Hmm

00:57:48.24
Chibbs
What do you give this out of 10, Gav?

00:57:50.94
gav
um Yeah, i was i was I was really tossing up on this one. I think for me, it's a Crazy Frog 4.

00:57:56.80
Chibbs
Yeah, ring-a-ding-ding.

00:57:56.99
gav
i if ah if If the lyrics made me cringe less, it would be lower. i really i think it's like listening to it, I'm like bopping along.

00:58:03.76
Chibbs
Yeah.

00:58:07.55
gav
I'm like, yeah.

00:58:07.64
Chibbs
Mm-hmm.

00:58:08.11
gav
And then I hear a line and I'm like, ah. There's just a few of them that just catch just catch me off of and it's just not...

00:58:15.09
Chibbs
Yeah, they do.

00:58:16.11
Bevo
Clangers. A few clangers.

00:58:16.59
Chibbs
and i I also, I didn't know that i didn't know that she fucking dropped a podcast, like like name drops a podcast in it.

00:58:21.95
gav
Yeah, honestly, that annoys me.

00:58:22.26
Mad Dog
Yeah. That's so shit.

00:58:23.63
Chibbs
That annoys me.

00:58:23.59
gav
I didn't realize that until this.

00:58:24.48
Bevo
Yeah.

00:58:24.90
Chibbs
That annoys me.

00:58:25.07
gav
That's, I mean, it's...

00:58:26.02
Bevo
That's where she announced the album too, on the podcast.

00:58:26.11
Chibbs
Yeah.

00:58:26.52
gav
it's

00:58:29.38
Mad Dog
Are you kidding me?

00:58:29.38
gav
if If I'm honest, there's a few songs of hers that I really like and I still...

00:58:30.87
Bevo
Yeah.

00:58:34.67
gav
Like, even stuff off 1989, I'm like, the lyrics are the weak point. The production is fucking incredible.

00:58:39.30
Chibbs
Yeah.

00:58:40.06
gav
It's a catchy song. It's a good fucking song. And then some of the lyrics are just like, ah.

00:58:44.09
Chibbs
Yeah, it's bit amateur hour.

00:58:44.11
gav
And that's just kind of... it It's kind of the same as this. I'm like, this is a fucking good song, but the lyrics are a bit shit. So, yeah, it's a four for me.

00:58:51.63
Chibbs
Yeah, it's no ragged clown jingle jangling along, is it

00:58:54.67
Mad Dog
No.

00:58:54.91
Bevo
Sick.

00:58:56.22
gav
yeah ah

00:58:58.78
Chibbs
Doggy, what do you give it?

00:59:01.01
Mad Dog
I feel a bit sick in the guts.

00:59:04.33
Bevo
see

00:59:06.16
Mad Dog
In fact, some people may say I'm a weak gutted dog.

00:59:10.02
gav
Oh, here he is

00:59:10.91
Chibbs
Doggy.

00:59:16.93
gav
I know that kid very well.

00:59:17.11
Chibbs
with that

00:59:17.86
Bevo
ah Play it twice. It's all right. yeah

00:59:19.58
Mad Dog
Yeah.

00:59:20.28
gav
but let' let Let that one roll out twice, actually.

00:59:21.59
Chibbs
Just keep going.

00:59:22.52
gav
Let's... let's

00:59:23.17
Chibbs
so

00:59:24.48
Mad Dog
I forgot, um it I always judge weak gutted dog five by if I forget that I'm listening to a song and my mind wanders somewhere else and I'm like, oh, shit, I should have been listening.

00:59:36.59
Chibbs
Mid song.

00:59:38.94
Mad Dog
Oh, it's over.

00:59:39.33
Bevo
Yeah.

00:59:40.70
Mad Dog
and I'm like, it's, yeah, yeah.

00:59:41.01
Bevo
that happens to me with InXS all the time.

00:59:43.60
gav
fair

00:59:43.75
Bevo
Weirdly.

00:59:44.20
Chibbs
NXS songs just go a little bit too long.

00:59:44.43
Mad Dog
Yeah.

00:59:47.23
Bevo
Always a great idea that doesn't eventuate.

00:59:47.62
Chibbs
Yeah, OK.

00:59:49.26
Bevo
Anyway, sorry.

00:59:49.69
Mad Dog
That's right.

00:59:49.66
Chibbs
Bevo?

00:59:50.42
Mad Dog
And, um yeah, the lyrics are super cringe. Like, I don't like hearing about the opening of Taylor Swift's thighs. It's that really, I don't know.

01:00:00.28
Chibbs
yeah

01:00:02.24
Mad Dog
i don't know why, but it just does. So, yeah, we got a dog.

01:00:06.82
Chibbs
yeah okay ever

01:00:07.60
gav
Nice.

01:00:11.87
Bevo
it ah Like I said earlier, i want there's ah something missing and I reckon that's stopping me from enjoying it more because I think it's all right. I ah listened to a few songs on this album that I thought weren't bad because I don't really get too deep into lyrics.

01:00:20.19
gav
Yeah.

01:00:24.93
Bevo
I don't sit there and go like think about them. I just hear it for what it is.

01:00:29.14
Chibbs
I don't think about them. it's The problem is that they're so they stand out so much that you can't help but hear what she's saying.

01:00:33.72
gav
They're forward. They're very forward. Yeah.

01:00:35.86
Bevo
Yeah.

01:00:36.57
Chibbs
And it would be like, I just wish I didn't have to hear what you were saying. Because whatever you the melody is fine, but what you're saying is fucking stupid.

01:00:39.99
Bevo
Yeah, yeah.

01:00:41.37
gav
ah ah

01:00:42.22
Bevo
but And, like, I almost almost hate to analyse it because I know that the Swifties are going to come for us if they do.

01:00:44.42
gav
and

01:00:52.18
Bevo
And just, like, everyone's everyone's got, like,

01:00:52.17
Chibbs
They don't give a fuck. They don't care.

01:00:54.78
Bevo
like a you think this way because you're misogynistic or you're racist or you know, there's always something and I don't want to be painted with that brush.

01:01:02.46
Chibbs
ah You always get called those things.

01:01:04.92
gav
Yeah, you get painted with that brush every week. Remember what you're talking about?

01:01:07.24
Chibbs
Yeah.

01:01:07.29
Bevo
Yeah.

01:01:08.12
gav
Yeah.

01:01:08.23
Bevo
um

01:01:08.26
Chibbs
Yeah. Like Travis Kelton, he's Kelsey in a dark room, just Peyton Bevo.

01:01:09.86
Bevo
ah Yeah.

01:01:09.82
gav
ah

01:01:10.14
Bevo
I just,

01:01:10.42
gav
yeah

01:01:14.92
gav
Nice.

01:01:15.15
Bevo
hey I was going to give it a six and then you said the Metacritic was 68%. So I'm going to give it 6.8 just match that. to just match that

01:01:20.87
Mad Dog
Thought it was spot on.

01:01:21.25
gav
ah nice

01:01:23.72
Chibbs
I like it. um I Want You Back by Jackson 5 is one of the best fucking songs ever.

01:01:28.50
Bevo
Oh, it might be the best song of all time.

01:01:29.13
gav
yeah

01:01:30.09
Chibbs
Yeah.

01:01:30.20
Bevo
Yeah.

01:01:30.42
Chibbs
and

01:01:30.77
gav
ah

01:01:31.74
Chibbs
And that this is so close to it. And it's probably like the the most enjoyable song on this album that I've listened to a couple of times now. And it's very boring for most of it.

01:01:45.55
Chibbs
And then this kind of...

01:01:45.58
Bevo
I think I like that Opalite one. That might be my favorite on there.

01:01:48.69
Chibbs
yeah

01:01:49.14
gav
Which?

01:01:49.66
Chibbs
It's not...

01:01:50.95
gav
Ophelia is a... What's that? Fate of Ophelia?

01:01:52.36
Chibbs
yeah yeah it's fine it's fine this i'm gonna give crazy frog four ring-a-ding-ding bam bam but it's mostly jackson five related yeah yeah

01:01:52.50
Bevo
The first track. Yeah, that one's all right too.

01:01:53.74
gav
Yeah, that's that's that's a good song. I thought it was a good song. Yeah. Nice. Yeah.

01:02:00.73
gav
yeah i that the that

01:02:04.27
Bevo
ah

01:02:08.34
Chibbs
um there you go i can come come at us run run it run it gavin run it gavin

01:02:08.86
Bevo
Cool.

01:02:08.87
gav
yeah

01:02:10.47
Bevo
We did it.

01:02:12.60
gav
Fuck, I cannot believe she's worth 2.1. Okay, run at me. Run at me. Fucking run at me. But then just before you get to me, realize that we're ragging on someone that's worth 2.1 billion fucking dollars, okay?

01:02:19.44
Chibbs
and

01:02:25.38
Chibbs
Yeah, and we also write we also rated we also rated this very well compared to a lot of songs that we've done.

01:02:25.97
Bevo
Yeah.

01:02:26.43
gav
That's who you're defending.

01:02:26.70
Bevo
No ethical billionaires.

01:02:27.51
gav
And I'm worth...

01:02:30.65
gav
I actually did.

01:02:31.37
Bevo
Yeah, actually, favorably.

01:02:33.30
Chibbs
It's actually come out of this very favourably.

01:02:33.89
gav
Yeah.

01:02:35.09
Bevo
You've got to understand, it's we we use an opposite scale to what you're thinking, so don't get angry.

01:02:36.05
Chibbs
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. yeah but so But think about this while you're running at Gavin.

01:02:42.68
gav
At specifically me.

01:02:42.97
Bevo
Yeah.

01:02:43.13
Chibbs
Thanks, fellas.

01:02:43.88
gav
Okay, fair enough.

01:02:44.27
Bevo
And at the last minute, pivot and get me instead.

01:02:44.89
Chibbs
Everyone else, go and fuck yourself.

01:03:07.48
Bevo
That's not it. That's not it.