1001 Songs That Make You Want To Die

Let’s take a ride down the rabbit hole of horrible songs. Some are popular, some went platinum but all of them make us want to die.

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1001 Songs That Make You Want To Die

Complicated - Avril Lavigne

January 12, 2026 • The 1001 Podcast Network • Season 6 • Episode 561

0:00 | 1:18:02

Want to request a song? Tell us your rating? Send us a Text Message right now!

This week on 1001 Songs That Make You Want To Die, we put “Complicated” under the microscope and ask the question nobody wanted answered in 2002: was this actually pop punk, or were we all aggressively gaslit by a necktie and some eyeliner?

We dig into how Avril Lavigne was pitched as a skater-punk outsider while quietly being moulded in a boardroom, why Complicated sounds a lot more like country rock than Warped Tour, and how a song with zero pop-punk staples somehow became the face of the genre.

Along the way, we cover industry plants, the Matrix songwriting factory, the unhinged Avril replacement conspiracy, questionable skateboarding technique, violent crimes against a supermarket hot-dog mascot, and the all-important closer: could Gavin beat Avril Lavigne in a fight circa 2002?

It’s messy. It’s nostalgic. Several people’s piss is reportedly burning.

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00:39.48
Chibbs
This is 1001 Songs That Make You Want to Die, the podcast where you talk about songs so bad it makes you want to headbutt a mannequin in a shop and then choke yourself with a wallet chain.

00:49.75
gav
a

00:52.34
Christmas Penis man
So this is early 2000s.

00:52.54
Bevo
Does the mannequin have a head or is it just one of those body ones?

00:54.72
Christmas Penis man
Okay.

00:56.11
Chibbs
just was the most Avril Lavigne thing I could sort of think of.

00:58.90
gav
Yeah, it was right up there.

00:59.10
Christmas Penis man
ah

00:59.23
Mad Dog
Ah, yes.

00:59.94
gav
It was right up there.

01:01.29
Chibbs
Don't you think so?

01:01.55
Bevo
What's on your wallet chain?

01:02.14
gav
Oh, big time.

01:02.56
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

01:03.24
Bevo
Mine was kiss in a checkerboard pattern.

01:06.34
Chibbs
Oh, I just had...

01:06.48
gav
Mine...

01:07.83
Chibbs
I don't think I had a themed wallet attached to my chain.

01:11.22
gav
i had ah I had the Nirvana wallet with the nevermind happy face.

01:14.69
Bevo
smiley. Yeah.

01:15.26
gav
that Sorry, the smiley face.

01:15.56
Bevo
yeah

01:16.42
gav
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:17.66
Mad Dog
I never had one.

01:19.49
Bevo
What?

01:19.44
gav
Pussy.

01:20.22
Christmas Penis man
I was too old for.

01:21.15
Bevo
It's never too late, Mad Dog.

01:21.21
Chibbs
I was chained up. Old man and dog over here.

01:22.20
Mad Dog
Yeah.

01:23.78
Christmas Penis man
He'd fucking, he'd already said goodbye to,

01:23.97
Bevo
His wallet just floating free.

01:24.39
Mad Dog
Yeah.

01:25.85
gav
Yeah, probably.

01:26.33
Mad Dog
Yeah. That's all right.

01:26.71
gav
i was like he He had the Velcro wallet though for sure. Velcro.

01:30.33
Bevo
we all did.

01:31.10
Mad Dog
I just had a checkbook, that's all.

01:31.06
gav
v

01:32.98
Christmas Penis man
he was, you know what, you know what Mad Dog was doing while we were all wearing dog, fucking, what are they called?

01:33.12
Bevo
Dog costumes.

01:33.27
Chibbs
but

01:39.11
Christmas Penis man
Dog chains?

01:39.36
Chibbs
Don't wear dog collars.

01:39.59
Christmas Penis man
Not dog chains.

01:40.22
gav
Wearing our dogs.

01:41.54
Christmas Penis man
Not dog chains. What they called? Wallet chains.

01:42.78
Chibbs
there

01:43.26
Christmas Penis man
Whatever. You know what he was doing while we were wearing chains? Fingering. it was he He worked out what fingering was and he was doing that.

01:51.74
Chibbs
and Speaking of fingering, we are doing Complicated by Avril Lavigne.

01:57.50
Christmas Penis man
Bye.

01:57.40
gav
ah

01:58.81
Mad Dog
Finger hit.

02:28.23
gav
I thought you could just going let that roll into the next fucking verse for a minute there.

02:30.74
Chibbs
No, no, no, no, no.

02:31.04
gav
That was...

02:32.62
Chibbs
No, won't.

02:33.50
gav
No. No. No.

02:35.54
Christmas Penis man
No, no, no.

02:36.50
gav
He refuses.

02:36.86
Chibbs
No.

02:37.56
Christmas Penis man
He started the lyrics already.

02:38.19
Mad Dog
Good grief.

02:40.50
Chibbs
Yeah, that's all right. Now, fellas, it's 2026. I know John Mayer's already been out, but, you know, that may have been done in the in the past, the filthy, filthy past, but we're now in the future.

02:50.14
Bevo
We did that last year.

02:55.51
Mad Dog
Okay.

02:55.93
gav
That we don't that we don't talk about

02:57.56
Christmas Penis man
but

02:58.01
Chibbs
Yeah.

02:58.35
Bevo
Think of it again.

02:59.03
Christmas Penis man
We got through Y2K, people.

02:59.59
Chibbs
Yeah.

03:01.46
Christmas Penis man
All right.

03:01.53
Chibbs
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

03:01.82
Christmas Penis man
We got through another year of Y2K not getting us.

03:02.23
gav
Yeah.

03:04.47
Chibbs
A computer clock's all stayed correct and the world stays on its axis, so we're good.

03:08.36
gav
Yeah.

03:11.13
Mad Dog
The computer clocks.

03:12.15
Chibbs
yeah We didn't know that Microsoft's it internal clock was going to completely shift the earth at some point, but here we are.

03:19.38
gav
yeah

03:19.77
Christmas Penis man
He could have dodged a bullet.

03:22.69
Chibbs
Oh, fuck, I wish I'd started the Y2K rumor. I wish I could have been like, you know it was actually the one that really kicked that off.

03:28.82
gav
um really I really push that in in in high a lot local circles.

03:30.26
Chibbs
but Big Y2K-er.

03:33.88
gav
um

03:34.17
Chibbs
But because it's 2026 and we are in our sixth year of 1001 Songs That Make you want to Die, where you should be following us on YouTube and on Instagram and on TikTok and all these places. We've just cracked 100 subscribers on YouTube.

03:48.17
gav
That's huge.

03:48.54
Mad Dog
Nice, like it, yeah.

03:48.60
Chibbs
That's a pretty fucking cool.

03:48.63
Christmas Penis man
Yeah. Yeah.

03:50.58
gav
Mr.

03:50.84
Christmas Penis man
Yeah. Eat a dick.

03:51.06
gav
Beast is pretty...

03:51.33
Chibbs
That's pretty cool.

03:51.68
Christmas Penis man
All the people, all the people that said we couldn't do it.

03:51.78
gav
He he hit us up for... Yeah. Beast reached out.

03:55.54
Christmas Penis man
All those fucking.

03:57.49
Chibbs
They were right for most of the time.

03:59.77
gav
He was like, how do you do it? how do you How do you get such numbers so quickly?

04:03.39
Chibbs
That's right.

04:04.36
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

04:04.57
Chibbs
Yeah. um

04:05.43
gav
Six years and we've and we've just cracked hundreds. So go fuck yourself.

04:07.99
Chibbs
So I figured, you know, celebration, we should add a new segment to the podcast.

04:12.34
Mad Dog
Oh, okay.

04:13.40
Chibbs
Don't you think so?

04:14.33
gav
I think so.

04:14.55
Christmas Penis man
Yeah. What is it?

04:15.86
Chibbs
Now! Now! you want to hear the stinger or do you to explain the rules?

04:19.99
gav
I reckon Stinger first.

04:21.25
Christmas Penis man
I think I just want to hear the stinger.

04:22.81
Mad Dog
Do the stinger, yeah.

04:23.18
gav
I reckon Stinger first.

04:23.45
Chibbs
Hear the stinger and then if you've got questions... Oh, we lost Bevo!

04:28.20
gav
Oh no, how did we lose Bevo so quickly?

04:30.09
Chibbs
Ed with us Bevo already!

04:31.10
Christmas Penis man
Is that the segment?

04:31.54
gav
right

04:32.85
Chibbs
Nah, we'll see if Bevo comes... have to wait.

04:34.90
Christmas Penis man
Is the segment?

04:35.25
Mad Dog
Where's

04:35.38
Chibbs
Let's wait and see if Bevo comes back on.

04:38.47
Christmas Penis man
It's like find, find Wally.

04:38.77
gav
um

04:41.97
Christmas Penis man
You know that classic book find Wally.

04:44.25
Chibbs
Apparently Bevo's bemo's internet's only good for fucking 15 minutes, apparently.

04:45.18
Mad Dog
and of wally

04:48.34
gav
but It's literally 15 minutes after that, it completely shits the bed.

04:49.70
Chibbs
15 minutes. Yeah.

04:53.46
Christmas Penis man
Where you at,

04:53.52
Chibbs
Bevo's back.

04:55.54
Bevo
to itfa Every time.

04:56.92
Chibbs
All right. I said, we've got 15 good minutes of Bevo, and that's about that's about it.

04:58.04
gav
everyugg Every time.

05:02.17
Bevo
it said

05:02.69
Chibbs
All right.

05:03.42
Bevo
Every week.

05:03.70
Chibbs
We've got a new so new segment. Do you want to hear the stinger?

05:05.69
gav
You heard that bit.

05:05.94
Bevo
No, I missed that.

05:07.08
Chibbs
You'll hear the stinger.

05:07.14
Bevo
Yeah.

05:07.96
Chibbs
If you've got questions, you want to know what the rules are, you can ask after the stinger.

05:13.33
Bevo
right. This thing will explain all.

05:13.72
Chibbs
All right?

05:14.90
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

05:15.48
Chibbs
Yeah, they always do. Set list game, net worth, mimic minute.

05:18.71
gav
Net worth?

05:19.64
Bevo
What a thrill.

05:19.47
gav
Nothing but net worth.

05:20.32
Bevo
It's the ultimate skill.

05:21.58
gav
They're usually pretty self-explanatory after those, you know.

05:23.36
Mad Dog
Mimic Minutes.

05:23.38
Chibbs
Yeah.

05:24.77
Christmas Penis man
It make minute too explanatory.

05:27.51
Chibbs
It goes for so long.

05:27.74
gav
me

05:28.59
Chibbs
All right, you ready? You ready? You ready? You ready? New segment. It may be the last time we ever do it.

05:34.58
gav
This might be a one and only.

05:36.15
Chibbs
Okay, here we go.

05:36.35
Bevo
Cool.

05:37.11
Chibbs
You ready?

05:38.01
Bevo
I'm ready.

05:38.89
Chibbs
I've done a long stinger, but but but for the future, there'll be a shorter stinger.

05:40.41
Bevo
Just play the stinger. it

05:44.19
gav
episodes will do the narrowed skin.

05:44.50
Bevo
Okay. One and done.

05:45.71
gav
Yeah. All right. All right.

05:47.13
Chibbs
all alright you ready

05:47.31
Bevo
All right. Yep.

06:11.13
Bevo
Could you beat them in a fight?

06:11.16
Christmas Penis man
Could you beat them in a fight?

06:11.04
gav
It's 2026!

06:12.64
Chibbs
could you beat them in a fight

06:12.63
Mad Dog
Could you beat them in a fight?

06:13.18
gav
It's 2026, baby!

06:15.86
Mad Dog
Yeah, love

06:16.79
Chibbs
Yeah!

06:19.83
Chibbs
a

06:19.67
gav
we are back we are we are

06:21.58
Chibbs
Baby! 2026!

06:22.52
gav
oh fucking we are so fucking back right now holy shit

06:25.56
Chibbs
Now, the way this is going to work is I'm going to use a generator here to pick out which person. We're not going to go individual. One person is going to be selected, and you are going to decide whether or not you could beat the artist or band or whoever in a fight, a physical fight.

06:42.68
Mad Dog
Okay.

06:42.90
Bevo
Hmm.

06:44.02
Chibbs
Okay? Okay.

06:44.50
Christmas Penis man
Awesome.

06:44.88
Mad Dog
I like it.

06:45.78
Chibbs
So I'm going to spin the wheel.

06:46.22
Mad Dog
Yep.

06:47.38
Chibbs
You ready?

06:47.77
gav
All right, spin it.

06:48.38
Mad Dog
Yep.

06:53.33
Christmas Penis man
Are you like the, um, the bird show in the situation?

06:53.43
Chibbs
There you go. Got it

06:56.50
Christmas Penis man
No

06:57.87
Chibbs
What's a bird show?

06:57.75
gav
Yeah, Bird Joe's catchphrase.

07:00.14
Christmas Penis man
bird shows fortune.

07:00.25
Chibbs
Oh, bird show.

07:01.36
Bevo
It's a bird show.

07:01.85
Chibbs
show.

07:02.72
Bevo
When are they bringing out the the cockatoo?

07:02.87
Mad Dog
I thought he said bird show.

07:03.03
Christmas Penis man
but

07:03.40
gav
Bird show.

07:05.59
Christmas Penis man
yeah John bird show.

07:06.90
gav
ah you Are you Aaron Berry's old band?

07:08.89
Chibbs
who

07:09.44
Bevo
Hmm.

07:10.01
Christmas Penis man
yeah

07:11.11
Chibbs
I'm, um who was that dude from the footy show that stalked and choked someone and went to jail?

07:16.92
Christmas Penis man
Paul Voughton.

07:16.90
gav
Matty Johns.

07:17.19
Bevo
Sterlo.

07:19.10
Chibbs
No, no, no, it's Slater.

07:19.21
Bevo
Which said all three guys.

07:19.93
gav
yeah

07:21.08
Chibbs
Michael Slats, Michael Slater.

07:23.03
Bevo
My hat, my coat.

07:23.35
Mad Dog
No.

07:23.48
Chibbs
um

07:25.56
Christmas Penis man
yeah

07:25.72
Mad Dog
Wasn't it a Kent?

07:26.42
Chibbs
um Gavin, you're up.

07:28.44
gav
Oh, shit. Okay.

07:30.02
Bevo
Oh.

07:30.87
Chibbs
Could you beat Avril Lavigne in a one-on-one fight?

07:38.23
gav
Yeah, you bet your ass I could. i um

07:39.83
Chibbs
yeah Yeah, you probably would.

07:40.54
gav
i So i feel like I feel like this one we're talking about, I just watched the, um I'm doing the video summary.

07:41.44
Bevo
Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

07:42.42
Christmas Penis man
ah

07:46.58
gav
I watched the video for this moments ago.

07:49.34
Chibbs
even Yeah.

07:51.56
gav
Granted, i think she might be 17 in this video.

07:55.51
Chibbs
Okay, yeah, but this is who you're fighting.

07:55.58
gav
I think she's... I think...

07:57.11
Chibbs
You're fighting who we're doing at the time.

07:57.37
Bevo
How old were you though?

07:57.24
gav
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're fighting them from this era.

07:59.88
Chibbs
It's like if we were to do Bob Dylan, you're fighting Bob Dylan from 1965, not Bob Dylan now.

07:59.76
gav
I'm...

08:05.30
gav
Now, yeah, okay.

08:06.33
Christmas Penis man
Yeah, you're fighting prime villain.

08:06.22
gav
No, by that rationale, you're fighting you're fighting you're finding them when the track is made.

08:06.65
Chibbs
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, Prime Dylan.

08:11.51
Chibbs
sure so 17 year old canadian girl could you beat her up

08:11.79
Mad Dog
That's right, yeah.

08:12.25
gav
Yeah, I...

08:16.63
Chibbs
sir

08:16.63
gav
i reckon I reckon I could.

08:17.62
Chibbs
and

08:18.51
gav
I've got a bad feeling that her bear mates, because they seem ah very protective of her in this video.

08:22.06
Chibbs
nah no i don't believe i don't believe they have anything to do with her so this will play out where we we do a band and you will have to decide if you can fight the entire band and win or not

08:23.23
gav
I feel like they're gonna Okay, fair enough. In that case, yeah, i reckon I...

08:28.55
Mad Dog
They've never met to this day.

08:29.24
Bevo
Do you also,

08:35.45
gav
Yeah. The question will be, though, do you do you fight them as a gang or do you do them one on one after the other like a sequence...

08:37.78
Chibbs
and

08:38.90
Bevo
is Chad Kroger involved?

08:42.52
Chibbs
Also, my my template hadn't kicked in at this point, but I used a template with AI to give me ah like the fighting sort of credentials of that artist.

08:52.42
gav
Oh, the fighting stats.

08:53.99
Chibbs
like here here are yeah Here are their stats.

08:54.17
gav
Yes.

08:54.50
Bevo
Oh, the vital stats.

08:55.81
gav
Yes.

08:57.10
Chibbs
They are agile. They're this and that.

08:58.90
gav
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

08:59.22
Chibbs
that Here they are.

08:59.26
Bevo
Cool. Good.

08:59.99
Christmas Penis man
i andja Yeah.

09:00.50
Chibbs
How do you compare to them? so In the future, I'll have a little bit more information, but at the moment, we're going to do this. Then we're going to read the lyrics, we're going to hear the story, we're going to do the production, we're going to everything we always do in the podcast.

09:11.10
Chibbs
At the end of this episode, we're going to find out, Gavin is going to get to come back and decide, based on how unhinged everything else was, if he now thinks he could beat them in a fight.

09:20.09
gav
i good yeah

09:23.57
Christmas Penis man
I love this. Yeah.

09:24.98
Chibbs
Okay?

09:25.14
Mad Dog
Okay. I like it.

09:25.75
gav
Yeah.

09:26.17
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

09:26.14
gav
All right. So right off the bat, i'm going to say hard yes.

09:27.01
Mad Dog
Yep.

09:28.94
gav
We'll find out after whatever debauchery she's come up with in the lyric.

09:32.93
Christmas Penis man
Oh, we're back in.

09:34.78
Chibbs
but but

09:35.83
Christmas Penis man
but

09:52.57
Mad Dog
Could you paint him in the floor?

09:54.82
Chibbs
And there'll be a shorter version of that in the future as well.

09:56.73
Bevo
In the style of suicidal tendencies.

09:56.76
Christmas Penis man
great question of not...

09:57.17
gav
It wanted me.

09:58.12
Christmas Penis man
ah

09:59.23
Bevo
Yeah.

09:59.50
Chibbs
No, I said East Coast, East Coast 90s hardcore.

10:02.81
Christmas Penis man
It's scary how fuck I'm, I know I'm the 10 billionth person to say this in the world ever, but like, it's scary how fucking good it's getting.

10:02.97
Mad Dog
Yeah, love it.

10:03.89
gav
That's good.

10:09.73
Christmas Penis man
Hey, like you could almost listen to that and enjoy it and not even give a fuck.

10:12.90
Chibbs
I'd listen to that. If someone said, and here's a new here's and new hardcore band from New York, I'd be like, fuck, they're sick.

10:19.73
gav
Yeah, a problem.

10:19.92
Christmas Penis man
What's that song? Could you beat them in a fight? Love it.

10:22.33
Chibbs
you

10:22.81
Bevo
a

10:23.41
Chibbs
Yeah,

10:24.29
gav
Ha ha ha ha!

10:24.76
Bevo
Do you know it has its origins on a podcast?

10:27.32
Chibbs
yeah, yeah. Okay. Complicated Avril Lavigne lyrics. The intro, it goes like this.

10:34.75
Chibbs
Uh-huh. Life's like this. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. That's the way it is Oh, la, la, la, la. la Because life's like this.

10:43.53
gav
yeah

10:46.14
Chibbs
Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Oh, la, la, la, la. la That's the way it is.

10:52.95
Mad Dog
Jesus.

10:54.02
Christmas Penis man
Okay.

10:54.68
Mad Dog
Okay.

10:54.97
Christmas Penis man
Oh, it's my dog's cat phrase.

10:55.06
Bevo
What's like this?

10:57.34
Mad Dog
Yeah, it is.

10:57.37
Chibbs
I feel like we've come in halfway through a conversation here, because she's already like, uh-huh, uh-huh, yep, yeah, yeah.

10:58.09
Mad Dog
Yeah.

11:00.09
Bevo
Yeah, this is like, she's summing up something that hasn't happened yet.

11:01.72
gav
yeah

11:04.90
Bevo
This is,

11:05.05
Chibbs
No, that's right, they've gone, how's life, Avril?

11:05.05
gav
yeah

11:08.27
Mad Dog
Yeah.

11:08.44
Chibbs
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

11:09.53
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

11:10.84
Chibbs
la la la la la la la la

11:11.88
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

11:13.90
gav
That's the way it is.

11:15.05
Bevo
is' it's very much like, yep, that's me. I bet you're wondering how I got into this situation.

11:18.87
gav
ah

11:20.50
Chibbs
but

11:21.17
Christmas Penis man
Life's like this. i bet you're wondering what life's like.

11:23.13
Chibbs
what

11:24.73
Christmas Penis man
Let me tell you.

11:25.91
Bevo
It's complicated.

11:26.26
Christmas Penis man
Let me tell you all about it.

11:26.17
gav
hello

11:27.77
Chibbs
Yeah, you've learnt nothing here.

11:27.94
Mad Dog
It's complicated.

11:29.88
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

11:31.16
Chibbs
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

11:32.08
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

11:32.28
Chibbs
yeah Yeah.

11:33.57
Mad Dog
It's the ramblings of a madman.

11:33.64
Christmas Penis man
Uh-huh.

11:35.51
gav
a

11:35.74
Chibbs
Well, it's just...

11:35.90
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

11:36.09
Mad Dog
Like, it's on the...

11:37.04
Bevo
That person.

11:38.26
Mad Dog
Yeah.

11:38.58
Chibbs
Yeah, it with the...

11:38.73
Christmas Penis man
That's the way it is.

11:40.58
Chibbs
That's the way it is. Like, what? what What's the way it is?

11:45.37
gav
ah

11:46.32
Christmas Penis man
just the way it is.

11:46.46
Mad Dog
hey

11:46.57
Chibbs
Life! ah

11:49.08
gav
Things will never be the same.

11:51.51
Chibbs
What a great song.

11:52.98
gav
That is a good fucking song.

11:53.27
Bevo
minute.

11:54.42
Christmas Penis man
well Yeah.

11:55.64
gav
the

11:56.44
Christmas Penis man
Do you think she's channeling that?

11:58.17
gav
Do you reckon? Fuck.

11:59.28
Bevo
What, that's just the way it is?

12:00.70
Christmas Penis man
ah so That's Tupac.

12:01.87
Chibbs
That's just the way it is.

12:04.22
Christmas Penis man
Is that Tupac?

12:04.50
Bevo
na na No, no, no, no.

12:04.57
Chibbs
Pock.

12:05.65
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

12:05.74
Bevo
don't know.

12:06.25
Christmas Penis man
She's channeling Poc in the first opening.

12:08.13
Chibbs
Yeah.

12:09.30
Christmas Penis man
The opening bars of Complicated a channeling Poc.

12:09.12
gav
Fuck.

12:11.77
Bevo
if Diddling, diddling, diddling.

12:13.43
Chibbs
Yeah. yeah

12:14.47
Mad Dog
Fuck

12:15.61
Chibbs
Her eyes rolled back into her head and she started rapping. Yeah.

12:19.35
gav
ah

12:20.22
Christmas Penis man
Uh-huh. Knives like this.

12:24.99
Chibbs
Verse one.

12:25.28
Christmas Penis man
I see no changes.

12:25.64
Chibbs
Okay. yeah

12:27.35
gav
ah

12:28.54
Chibbs
California. um

12:30.49
Bevo
interesting

12:30.49
Christmas Penis man
ah

12:30.78
gav
ah

12:32.71
Chibbs
Verse one, it goes, chill out. What you yelling for? Lay back. It's all been done before. and if you could only let it be, you will see.

12:46.18
Chibbs
i'll like you the way you are. When you're driving in your car and you're talking to me one-on-one, but you become...

12:57.36
Christmas Penis man
Oh, metamorphosis.

12:57.40
Mad Dog
Mm.

12:58.36
Chibbs
You pre-cum.

12:58.58
gav
but you But you pre-cum. In a sperm suit.

13:02.26
Christmas Penis man
You be become.

13:02.33
Chibbs
but

13:02.40
gav
Ha, ha, ha, ha.

13:04.18
Christmas Penis man
ah

13:04.92
Bevo
yeah

13:05.48
Christmas Penis man
He's imitating cum.

13:06.74
gav
ah

13:08.19
Chibbs
He's doing like the Homer like sperm dance.

13:09.46
gav
listen in it is in in a burn

13:11.74
Mad Dog
Yeah, just like that.

13:11.86
Christmas Penis man
the The look who's talking.

13:13.69
Chibbs
The Simpsons quotes out the window.

13:15.86
Bevo
you blew my rule yeah no i didn't do it so that's all right um what's you yelling for is funny because i imagine that he's also driving in his car at the same time yeah yeah fucking malaka

13:15.87
Chibbs
Sorry, mate. Okay. okay

13:19.03
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

13:22.81
Mad Dog
Yeah. Yeah.

13:25.21
gav
ah

13:25.78
Mad Dog
that then Some guys walk up.

13:30.96
Chibbs
it's

13:31.51
Mad Dog
Hi, Avril. How the fuck are you going?

13:33.85
Chibbs
yeah

13:34.49
gav
no how fucking How vague must the yelling be if she has to ask him what it's about as well? like how know How out of the blue and vague must it be?

13:40.34
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

13:41.24
Bevo
yeah

13:44.17
gav
Because i don't think i I don't think I've ever been around someone that was yelling where I didn't know exactly what the fuck they were yelling about.

13:44.60
Chibbs
But also...

13:44.73
Bevo
Just ramble like that.

13:45.46
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

13:50.25
Bevo
You've never been on a train in Depto?

13:50.62
Christmas Penis man
yeah Yeah.

13:50.66
gav
Okay,

13:52.31
Mad Dog
I was going to say, unless you're in like inner city Sydney and yeah, it's like, which he's probably yelling the intro.

13:53.50
gav
actually, fair play. Fair play.

13:57.54
Christmas Penis man
Well, let me fucking.

13:59.93
Bevo
Okay. So the guy that she's dating is a homeless person in the city.

14:00.41
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

14:02.87
gav
yeah

14:03.08
Mad Dog
Oh

14:03.29
Christmas Penis man
Let me throw some shade to Yunan Dara.

14:03.74
Bevo
Yeah.

14:05.85
Christmas Penis man
Are there any Yunan Dara people here that like will get offended about this?

14:07.96
gav
I grew up in Unidera for a decent period, but I fucking hate it. I hate it. It's a piece of shit. Carry on.

14:13.21
Christmas Penis man
I went and bought a banh mi for my wife at the little Vietnamese bakery in Yunan Dara today.

14:15.86
Mad Dog
unit ah yeah.

14:19.67
Christmas Penis man
And then I heard the rambling.

14:19.99
gav
The one on the highway?

14:20.72
Mad Dog
Yeah.

14:22.14
Christmas Penis man
Pardon?

14:23.16
gav
The one, the, the, the, um, Fifi, whatever it's called on the, that, no, it's a good, it's a good bar meat shop.

14:25.48
Chibbs
It's irrelevant.

14:26.52
Bevo
Yeah, it's really hand-breaking the story in detail.

14:27.15
Christmas Penis man
I don't think it matters.

14:27.83
Chibbs
yeah

14:28.32
gav
Fuck you.

14:28.89
Christmas Penis man
I think that was already...

14:29.14
Mad Dog
Oh,

14:29.21
gav
Fuck you. I need to know about, take, okay, we'll take it offline. We'll take it offline. I need to know which bar me's you got.

14:33.53
Bevo
Okay.

14:33.85
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

14:34.01
Bevo
Yeah.

14:34.58
gav
Carry on.

14:35.38
Christmas Penis man
Yeah. It's a good one. It's already too much info though. So I'll move on. Anyway, I heard the ramblings of someone and I, it sounded like this yeah and I turned and there was a lady with a pram and I genuinely, ah I'm not even kidding.

14:42.49
Bevo
Yeah. Yeah.

14:45.32
Bevo
Yeah

14:47.58
Bevo
admir lavinian

14:49.18
Christmas Penis man
I thought to myself, I'm going to fucking take that baby off that woman. Cause she was like on the road with a, anyway, she had a dog in the pram and I was like, Oh, that dog's probably fine.

14:54.07
Mad Dog
really

14:57.94
Chibbs
I was gonna say there's no though there was but there was no bait oh it wass go to say you there's no baby in that room.

14:59.56
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

14:59.56
gav
Oh, fuck. Okay, can I just tell you, I for sure thought the story was, you were like, I heard the ramblings, it went, remember you were going to be like, I turned around and saw my reflection in the glass and it was just me.

15:02.10
Mad Dog
yeah

15:02.90
Chibbs
they moving in the bit

15:10.90
Bevo
The monster in the mirror was me.

15:12.55
gav
was just me going, oh, God damn.

15:13.00
Bevo
Hmm. Yeah. Damn it!

15:14.58
Chibbs
yeah And it was actually an Asian accent and I got kicked out of the shop.

15:17.24
Bevo
ah monster in the mirror was me

15:20.25
gav
yeah oh godam

15:24.09
Chibbs
So this is the thing. You get the start where it's just being like, just chill out. Why are you yelling so much? But then you get halfway through the verse and it's like, you know what?

15:31.03
Christmas Penis man
yeah But hang on, she's not so...

15:32.94
Chibbs
I like driving with you in your car, talking one-on-one with you. And he's just like...

15:36.82
Bevo
and

15:37.54
Chibbs
ah

15:38.42
Bevo
down in the

15:39.86
Chibbs
ah yeah

15:40.31
Mad Dog
ah

15:41.78
Chibbs
driving, swerving around the fucking road.

15:41.78
gav
waing this is This is good.

15:44.46
Chibbs
and She's like, like i don't mind this don't I don't want this.

15:47.80
Bevo
I love you. You've loved in this.

15:49.44
gav
You're a good driver.

15:49.77
Chibbs
this.

15:50.44
gav
You're a good driver. off

15:51.19
Mad Dog
Maybe he's a road rager.

15:51.32
Bevo
you I hope you don't ah make this complicated.

15:54.84
Chibbs
It would be funny if you want, a road rager is a hilarious thing to experience as a passenger.

15:55.19
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

16:00.08
Chibbs
Especially you don't know they are a road rager when you get in the car.

16:00.44
Mad Dog
Yeah. Yeah.

16:04.78
Chibbs
so it's Whatever. and it's The first person that sort of just changes lanes a little bit closer, like, Fucking clown!

16:13.14
Mad Dog
Yeah, I could just imagine this bloke like just sort of trying to gently tune her, just like, yeah, like, ah you know, I really like your hair, you know.

16:13.34
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

16:13.82
Chibbs
Oh, chill out. Chill out, mate.

16:24.50
Mad Dog
It's it's really nice when it's straight. Oi, you fucking gun! Stay in your own lane, you fucking prick!

16:28.41
Chibbs
so

16:32.35
Bevo
Oh, what are you doing?

16:33.78
Chibbs
i'll chill chill out chill out my

16:34.02
gav
Oh.

16:36.47
Christmas Penis man
um um I'm accidentally teaching my son ah road rage.

16:36.54
Mad Dog
Yeah.

16:41.34
Christmas Penis man
The other day I was i said to him, I said, look how good of look at how good of a driver I am. Like you watch this. This person's trying to get in and I'm going to let him in. No one's letting him in and I'm going to let him in. This is what you do on the road.

16:52.26
Christmas Penis man
I fully like, you know, told him how awesome was.

16:54.85
Chibbs
Yeah,

16:56.50
Christmas Penis man
I gave this dude so much room, waved him in. i'm like, I'm like, get in. And I said, now watch what happens. He's going to give me a wave and I'm going to feel good for the rest of the day. And he's like, take it all in. He goes, okay. I said, this is what you do. You let people in. It's nice.

17:09.66
Christmas Penis man
And I'm like, now he'll give me a wave.

17:09.71
Chibbs
it's good. Good karma.

17:11.66
Christmas Penis man
And he didn't give me a wave. And I'm like, he'll probably throw his arm out the window after he turns.

17:13.52
Mad Dog
No.

17:14.61
Bevo
The boy blood boils.

17:16.09
Chibbs
Yeah.

17:17.05
Christmas Penis man
And he didn't do that. And then I was like, you're a fucking dog.

17:19.09
Chibbs
To get on horn.

17:20.14
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

17:20.15
Bevo
Following mine.

17:20.73
gav
telling Telling your son, hold the wheel while daddy pulls out his nine, son.

17:21.16
Bevo
It wasn't on before.

17:25.25
gav
daddy's got a Daddy's got to put a couple of shots through the back window to let him know he's a cunt.

17:30.10
Chibbs
Put your belt on. Put your belt on now.

17:32.51
gav
Put your fucking belt on.

17:34.07
Chibbs
We...

17:33.97
gav
Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha.

17:35.58
Bevo
it wasn't on before

17:36.95
Chibbs
Yeah, it implies his belt was not on.

17:37.18
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

17:38.25
Mad Dog
It belts on.

17:41.43
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

17:41.69
Chibbs
We are going to cut this guy off at the next intersection.

17:41.90
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

17:45.24
Christmas Penis man
Do they ever get you to put your listening ears on at school?

17:45.39
Chibbs
Yeah.

17:47.52
Christmas Penis man
Right. Well put on your ramming helmet. Yeah.

17:50.49
gav
a

17:52.85
Bevo
yeah

17:53.53
gav
hu

17:54.33
Bevo
on your following home shirt

17:59.16
Chibbs
Bebo, you're...

17:59.00
gav
Oh my God.

17:59.94
Chibbs
Bebo...

17:59.84
gav
Oh my God. That might be the first shirt of the year.

18:02.84
Chibbs
shirt of the year.

18:02.94
Mad Dog
Yes!

18:02.92
gav
That's the first shirt of the year. This is my following home shirt.

18:06.32
Chibbs
Following home shirt. Yeah.

18:09.99
Mad Dog
I'm following you.

18:11.75
gav
I'm following

18:12.81
Chibbs
I'm following you. That's

18:15.48
gav
this is why this is my This is my following home.

18:17.31
Chibbs
a fucking good shirt. That is a good shirt.

18:20.03
gav
This is my following home shirt.

18:20.81
Christmas Penis man
That's a good shirt.

18:22.36
Chibbs
Yeah.

18:22.35
gav
I'm following you.

18:22.80
Bevo
how's How's your driving?

18:23.07
Mad Dog
I'm following you home.

18:23.48
gav
Yeah.

18:23.79
Chibbs
following you.

18:23.96
Bevo
Call 1-800-FOLLOW-YOU-HOME.

18:26.33
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

18:26.74
Chibbs
i' following I'm following you is a great shirt.

18:29.98
gav
That's a fucking good shirt.

18:30.37
Mad Dog
It's a great shirt.

18:30.65
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

18:31.74
Chibbs
Yeah.

18:32.72
Christmas Penis man
That's, and it's, it's like anyone can wear it too.

18:32.82
Chibbs
Yeah. I hope, um yeah, I hope our...

18:33.14
Mad Dog
Just in general.

18:36.70
Christmas Penis man
It works across lots of situations.

18:36.73
Mad Dog
Yeah.

18:36.92
gav
Maybe the back. does the Does the back say stop following me?

18:39.00
Bevo
And the back says, you're following me.

18:40.40
gav
Yes. Stop following me.

18:41.21
Mad Dog
Yeah.

18:41.96
gav
Yeah. ah ah I like that we both arrived at the back of the shirt conclusion at the same time.

18:48.06
Chibbs
it's good to have front and back.

18:49.40
gav
ah a

18:49.69
Bevo
and

18:49.72
Chibbs
Good to have front back.

18:49.78
Mad Dog
Someone one turns around, they say, I'm following you.

18:51.26
Bevo
with yes

18:54.61
Christmas Penis man
look

18:55.83
Mad Dog
You walk past them. Stop following me.

19:01.85
Bevo
Beautiful.

19:02.54
Chibbs
Oh, that is fucking good.

19:02.50
gav
That's good, man.

19:03.77
Mad Dog
oh

19:04.44
Bevo
That's crossover a appeal.

19:04.34
gav
The first shirt of the year First shirt of the year is a banger.

19:04.59
Mad Dog
Oh, that's great.

19:06.26
Christmas Penis man
You got first photo the year.

19:07.00
Chibbs
ah Okay.

19:08.02
Mad Dog
Yeah.

19:08.82
Chibbs
All right.

19:08.66
gav
Oh, fuck.

19:10.04
Chibbs
um Okay.

19:10.81
gav
o

19:11.32
Christmas Penis man
Well done, Bevo.

19:11.47
Chibbs
Pre-chorus. Yeah, good stuff, Bevo.

19:13.59
Christmas Penis man
was great.

19:14.60
Chibbs
You know why?

19:14.71
gav
Tight, tight work.

19:15.20
Chibbs
Because Bevo's the only one out of us who have followed someone home.

19:19.64
Bevo
Yeah.

19:19.93
gav
ah He knows what it's like.

19:20.54
Mad Dog
that

19:20.58
Bevo
Yeah.

19:21.08
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

19:21.86
Bevo
Yeah.

19:22.17
Chibbs
Yeah.

19:22.28
Bevo
I bought the t-shirt.

19:23.45
gav
All right.

19:25.07
Chibbs
Pre-chorus goes, somebody... yeah okay so it's coming out of the verse. One-on-one, but you become...

19:31.51
gav
Pre-chorus.

19:32.82
Chibbs
Somebody else around everyone else. You're watching your back like you can't relax.

19:38.51
Bevo
What are hiding?

19:39.46
Chibbs
You're trying to be cool. You look like a fool to me. Tell me.

19:44.15
Bevo
What are you hiding? what are you hiding

19:45.51
Mad Dog
A full...

19:46.07
gav
Yeah.

19:46.74
Chibbs
this is She's still channeling Pock.

19:49.33
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

19:49.53
Chibbs
it's ah Yeah, it's like this cunt is always watching his back.

19:51.64
Bevo
I'm hem here um hearing classic ah symptoms of bipolar here.

19:53.85
Chibbs
He cannot relax at all.

19:55.45
gav
hu

19:56.57
Chibbs
Yeah.

19:59.00
Mad Dog
Yeah, this is...

19:59.83
Chibbs
somebody else around everyone else so wait but but bevo by himself he is a rambling lunatic in a car so so when he's around everyone else is it like he can keep it together can mask his psychosis enough around other people

20:00.02
gav
yeah

20:04.41
Bevo
m

20:10.38
Bevo
it drives nicely.

20:14.42
Mad Dog
Yeah, you're actually a better person around other people. yeah

20:18.81
gav
I mean, this is this is this is describing me to a T because if I'm alone in the car, you bitch, Ross, that's what I'm doing.

20:19.19
Bevo
He's a paranoid though.

20:22.55
Chibbs
but

20:24.71
Christmas Penis man
Fuck. Gav, it's looking already by the first pre-chorus like you would not fucking beat her in a fight.

20:31.80
gav
Yeah, i'm starting to I'm starting to question.

20:32.87
Mad Dog
Yeah.

20:33.70
Christmas Penis man
He's hanging out with this dude.

20:34.04
gav
I'm starting to question. Yeah, no, she's...

20:36.12
Bevo
This dude's probably here along with the football.

20:36.40
gav
she's

20:39.55
Christmas Penis man
Could

20:50.32
Christmas Penis man
you have beat him in a fight?

20:59.99
gav
That is annoying that that's AI generated.

21:00.50
Christmas Penis man
Very good.

21:01.71
gav
That is a good song. but

21:05.14
Christmas Penis man
um Just on that.

21:05.53
Chibbs
um and Okay, so they're acting like somebody else, but that somebody else is someone very respectful, um presentable to the public compared to the shouty person fit in the car.

21:06.42
Christmas Penis man
ah I'll save it. That's another thing. Sorry.

21:16.09
gav
Yeah.

21:19.44
gav
Shouty raving lunatic in the in the motor vehicle.

21:20.09
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

21:20.50
Bevo
You reckon she does say he looks like a fool to her.

21:21.14
Chibbs
Yeah. Yeah. But you're...

21:24.16
Bevo
Do you reckon he's got one of those um octopus hats?

21:26.38
gav
Hats with the propeller.

21:27.26
Mad Dog
Like the jester hats.

21:27.82
Chibbs
Propeller.

21:28.33
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

21:28.50
Bevo
Yeah.

21:28.31
gav
ah

21:28.54
Chibbs
Propeller hat.

21:28.65
Christmas Penis man
Just a. I think she's referring to a jester for sure.

21:30.96
Chibbs
Yeah.

21:32.47
Bevo
yeah just The jester hat. Yeah.

21:33.18
gav
Oh, I see.

21:33.78
Chibbs
je out we've We've been and we've done the With the bells on the end of each tentacle.

21:33.98
gav
Like the ones with the...

21:34.42
Bevo
Bells on it.

21:37.11
Bevo
Yeah.

21:37.14
Mad Dog
yeah Didn't he say it was an upside down squid?

21:37.24
Christmas Penis man
Yeah. The origin of jester hat.

21:39.61
Bevo
Yeah. Octopus.

21:40.22
gav
yeah

21:40.49
Bevo
and With bells

21:42.30
gav
Upside down squid.

21:42.63
Mad Dog
Octopus.

21:44.07
gav
Who the fuck...

21:47.41
Mad Dog
Tambourines on the end.

21:48.28
Bevo
and that

21:48.57
Chibbs
Tambourines!

21:49.05
Bevo
every time he's watching his back, he's watching his back.

21:49.53
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

21:49.54
Chibbs
Just a tambourine man.

21:51.81
Bevo
And every time he does it, the bells jingle a little bit.

21:53.98
Christmas Penis man
Bitch.

21:54.01
Bevo
He's just not sure.

21:54.07
gav
ah

21:55.13
Christmas Penis man
i

21:56.52
Chibbs
Dale's here. Dale's here with his fucking hat.

21:58.58
Mad Dog
You can hear him coming from a mile away.

21:58.62
gav
ah

22:00.98
Bevo
Paranoid Dale.

22:02.40
Christmas Penis man
Yeah, he can't relax because of all the jingling.

22:02.54
Chibbs
Yes.

22:02.55
Mad Dog
Yeah.

22:05.49
Chibbs
Tell you what though, she's not wrong about it being complicated.

22:07.21
gav
it

22:08.23
Chibbs
This does seem like a very complicated relationship.

22:11.70
Bevo
Yeah.

22:11.70
gav
it does

22:12.63
Chibbs
Yeah, like what what, in a relationship, what would you prefer?

22:12.82
Christmas Penis man
Yeah. Yeah.

22:16.77
Chibbs
do you prefer someone that when you're in public can keep it together and you can keep up appearances that it's like everything's normal, but behind the scenes they are a fucking lunatic?

22:30.30
Christmas Penis man
Yeah, nah, that's fucked.

22:30.30
Chibbs
Or someone that keeps it together at home and then when they go out is a raving lunatic. Yeah.

22:36.80
gav
Surely the latter, right?

22:37.48
Mad Dog
There are the worst ones.

22:37.90
Bevo
I'd take the latter.

22:38.24
gav
It's got to be the latter.

22:38.58
Bevo
Yeah. Yeah. You can just be like, he's not normally like this.

22:39.86
gav
That's the... He's not normally like this.

22:42.14
Bevo
sorry

22:42.58
Christmas Penis man
Yeah, because then you get

22:43.06
gav
And they're like, every every time we see him in public, he's like this.

22:43.35
Chibbs
You know, I know someone... Do you know who this describes?

22:46.90
gav
What are you talking about? Dude.

22:50.17
Mad Dog
ah

22:50.85
Chibbs
Cuneo.

22:51.64
Mad Dog
i was I was about to say, is this Cuneo?

22:52.38
Chibbs
etc Cuneo, it's fucking...

22:55.62
Mad Dog
It's exactly Cuneo.

22:56.73
Chibbs
Yeah, it is. It's like he's the most normal dude in the world. He he cracks a cap off a beer and it's just like, I'm going to stab everyone.

23:02.81
Mad Dog
one b

23:06.17
Christmas Penis man
but

23:06.20
Chibbs
yeah You're all going to die.

23:06.52
gav
ah

23:08.42
Mad Dog
Yeah.

23:09.20
Chibbs
and you holy Holy shit.

23:09.43
gav
ah

23:11.81
Mad Dog
I'm getting in a train fight.

23:13.40
Chibbs
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

23:13.90
Mad Dog
Yeah.

23:14.57
Christmas Penis man
I'm fucking down.

23:15.99
Mad Dog
Yeah.

23:16.44
Chibbs
You know what?

23:16.73
Christmas Penis man
You'd lose that.

23:16.88
Chibbs
I could kill Avril Lavigne and I will tonight. I will find her and I'll kill her.

23:19.54
gav
ah

23:20.13
Mad Dog
Yeah.

23:21.69
Chibbs
Yeah.

23:22.06
gav
isn't there a theory that she did ah we are we going to get into that later maybe we'll get into that later we'll talk about later remind me remind me yeah

23:22.58
Christmas Penis man
um

23:25.62
Christmas Penis man
Well, I'm sure we'll get into that, yeah.

23:25.76
Bevo
Yeah, save that for later, the theory.

23:25.94
Chibbs
I don't have that, but we can we'll talk about that. we can talk You can bring that. Bring that. Here we go.

23:29.65
Christmas Penis man
I've got something on ah yeah' you're watching your back.

23:29.86
Bevo
Let's not make it complicated.

23:30.02
Chibbs
We've got a chorus.

23:33.46
Christmas Penis man
Like, if you did that, you'd have a sore neck.

23:36.25
gav
For sure.

23:36.50
Chibbs
You have crook neck all the time.

23:37.37
gav
jo

23:37.94
Chibbs
like You have to go full exorcist.

23:38.46
Christmas Penis man
Like, you...

23:38.31
gav
That's why, that's why that isn't it like there's like 16 different sayings about having someone to watch your back because you can't do it yourself without cricking your neck.

23:40.12
Chibbs
Yeah.

23:45.28
gav
And then what good are you in a fight with a bung neck?

23:47.13
Mad Dog
Or you're walking around with a hand mirror.

23:47.77
Christmas Penis man
yeah you can

23:50.20
Chibbs
Yeah, you could get some sort of mirror set up.

23:50.23
gav
Maybe.

23:50.68
Christmas Penis man
And if you're watching your back, then you're not watching your front. That's another problem.

23:53.96
Bevo
Yeah, that's true.

23:54.04
Mad Dog
Yeah.

23:54.47
Bevo
You need um binocular vision for that.

23:54.81
gav
Yeah.

23:54.98
Mad Dog
True. Yeah.

23:57.62
gav
Yeah.

23:57.85
Chibbs
ah I'll sort that out.

23:58.06
Christmas Penis man
It's almost like you need like, what what animal, let's get back into animal facts. What animal has one eye on one side of his head and then another eye on the horse, I think, is the...

24:06.39
Bevo
Lots of animals do. that's um That's like prey.

24:09.14
Chibbs
so

24:10.11
Bevo
Prey animals have peripheral.

24:10.29
Chibbs
That's what Elmo is. Isn't Elmo so sad?

24:12.91
Bevo
No, no, no, that's not that's top vision. That's like predator vision.

24:16.50
Chibbs
is an elvi is an elvi is so size

24:16.34
gav
ah ah A predator, yeah.

24:17.18
Bevo
talking prey animals like um sheep and goats and stuff.

24:20.09
Chibbs
Like a fish.

24:20.83
Bevo
So I'd...

24:21.75
Chibbs
A fish?

24:21.85
gav
Yeah, with a the eyes out either side of their head. So that's why I think this question is slightly flawed.

24:24.70
Bevo
Yeah.

24:28.05
gav
If you've just mentioned fish, you've got the flounder, which is the one that just like always keeps one side to the fucking flat and the other eye has moved to the top the top of its head.

24:34.92
Mad Dog
The

24:34.94
Chibbs
The coward of the sea. ah

24:38.05
Mad Dog
care of the sea.

24:37.98
gav
Yeah. it is It is a cowardly...

24:42.39
Chibbs
Yeah.

24:42.34
gav
It's a weak gutted dog of a fish.

24:43.93
Chibbs
It is a weak gutted dog of a fish.

24:44.00
gav
knew that fish.

24:44.50
Mad Dog
and it

24:44.94
gav
He's a weak gutted dog person fish.

24:46.49
Chibbs
Yeah. rick Ricky Stewart would fucking hate that fish.

24:47.57
gav
Yeah.

24:50.52
Chibbs
i know that fish very well yeah yeah yeah i'd just go to the surface and be like oh i'm trying it

24:51.90
gav
ah knew that fish

24:53.74
Christmas Penis man
I know that fish very well. It's weak gutter fish when he's a boy and it's a weak gutter fish now.

24:55.96
gav
he said he see it he's a weak got of dog person fish

25:01.85
Christmas Penis man
a weak gutter fish person now.

25:02.14
Mad Dog
but that's Yeah.

25:05.02
Christmas Penis man
and ah have you ever had a running with King Trident, that's how we'd speak of him.

25:09.94
Chibbs
yeah yeah yeah

25:10.24
gav
Ha ha

25:10.50
Christmas Penis man
He's a fucking weak gutter fish person.

25:13.34
Chibbs
i'd just go to the surface and be like oh try it o Oh, look at me jigging on land.

25:13.61
Mad Dog
Flanders are fucked up.

25:17.17
gav
ha! Oi! Ha ha ha!

25:18.94
Bevo
your little fork going for you now, mate?

25:21.13
gav
Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

25:23.45
Chibbs
Yeah. ah The chorus goes, why do you have...

25:24.63
Mad Dog
Jesus. All right.

25:26.16
Bevo
that's That's what the whole song Under the Sea is about, actually.

25:28.89
Chibbs
It is what it's all about.

25:29.29
gav
Ha ha ha!

25:29.90
Christmas Penis man
Bye.

25:30.78
Chibbs
Why do you have to go and make things so complicated? i see the way you are. Wait, I see the... Yeah, I see i see the way you're...

25:38.47
Bevo
See the way your act.

25:39.86
Chibbs
Okay, all right.

25:40.26
Mad Dog
Yaw.

25:41.43
Chibbs
I see the way you're acting like you're somebody else gets me frustrated. Life's like this.

25:50.78
Chibbs
You fall and you crawl and you break and you take what you get and you turn it into honesty and promise me I'm never going to find you. Fake it.

26:04.70
Chibbs
No, no, no.

26:06.84
Bevo
I always thought it find you fakin'.

26:06.84
gav
Jesus Christ. Yeah, me too. Faking like rhymes with bacon.

26:10.42
Bevo
i feel like this might be a bit wrong.

26:11.13
Mad Dog
Faking would make more sense.

26:14.17
Chibbs
This is actually a really complicated chorus.

26:18.72
Christmas Penis man
It's wording.

26:18.84
Bevo
Yeah, there's a lot of nuance in

26:19.66
gav
It's like got a real... Yeah, Jesus Christ.

26:21.62
Christmas Penis man
Yeah, I have to admit, I think it's hard to sing the chorus now that i like now that I realize, like I didn't realize what the lyrics were, but like you can't really sing along except for the first line and the second line maybe.

26:27.13
gav
Yeah.

26:32.22
Chibbs
Yeah, the rest is very tricky.

26:32.57
gav
Yeah.

26:33.22
Christmas Penis man
be

26:35.22
Bevo
I have a, um, I have a complicated thought actually about this because it's what you said earlier about him being very sweet in, in, not in private.

26:35.47
Chibbs
it

26:44.66
Chibbs
In public situations.

26:46.76
Bevo
And then in public, she's, she's getting frustrated with how he is.

26:47.45
Chibbs
Right.

26:50.61
Bevo
Like he's not, but he's really nice at home and it just out.

26:53.30
gav
Yeah.

26:54.18
Bevo
He's just a fucking dick. He's just one of those dudes.

26:55.80
Mad Dog
Fucking idiot.

26:55.80
gav
Yeah.

26:58.00
Bevo
He's like, I promise you.

26:57.94
gav
Why you like this? Yeah.

26:59.92
Mad Dog
Just be yourself.

27:00.06
Bevo
i pray

27:00.17
Chibbs
He's just like, he's just walking down the street, just kicking people's mailboxes over.

27:03.96
Bevo
Yeah.

27:04.21
Chibbs
Fucking just, yeah, like.

27:04.40
Bevo
yeah And at home he donates to charity and shit on the internet.

27:08.31
Chibbs
Yeah. that Yeah.

27:10.14
Mad Dog
Kind of like, yeah, like flinching at grandmas and stuff.

27:10.30
Chibbs
Yeah.

27:12.15
gav
Who else?

27:14.47
Bevo
Yeah.

27:14.68
Mad Dog
Yeah.

27:14.74
gav
yeah

27:15.67
Christmas Penis man
but

27:15.99
gav
did we Who else did we have recently that was frustrated? We had... um

27:19.51
Chibbs
John Mayer was frustrated with how attract, with how attractive she was.

27:19.93
Bevo
Oh, John Mayer. Yeah.

27:20.41
gav
John Mayer was frustrated. That's right. lot of frustrated artists lately.

27:23.82
Chibbs
It's like, you're so, you're so attractive.

27:23.86
Mad Dog
Yes, that's right.

27:25.86
Chibbs
It frustrates me.

27:25.88
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

27:26.97
gav
Well, maybe she's frustrated in the same way.

27:27.96
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

27:29.21
gav
Maybe she's like, you're acting like you's somebody else and it's getting little bit hot under the collar. Maybe she's just frustrated about it.

27:34.68
Bevo
Well, okay, let's...

27:34.87
Chibbs
getting Getting frustrated is a hilarious thing just to put into song form.

27:35.84
Bevo
let's let's

27:38.94
gav
A song.

27:39.12
Mad Dog
I think frustration is funny.

27:39.58
Bevo
me

27:39.60
Chibbs
Yeah.

27:39.50
gav
Yeah.

27:40.47
Bevo
Frustrated.

27:40.56
gav
It's a, it's a weird number of syllables as well. Like the way she says, and this is frustrated, frustrated, like, but,

27:44.12
Bevo
Frustrated.

27:46.48
Chibbs
it's not it's not It's not being mad, it's not angry, it's not sad, it's just so irritating.

27:49.82
Mad Dog
You're not full angry. Yeah.

27:52.38
gav
Yeah, you're just a bit pissed off, just a little bit.

27:55.11
Bevo
Banging your head against the wall.

27:56.66
gav
it's It's wearing on you.

27:57.11
Bevo
But here's here's what's happening here's what's happening to the guy.

27:58.22
gav
It's just wearing day in and day out, yeah.

28:01.05
Bevo
He's falling and then he's crawling and then he's breaking.

28:01.26
Christmas Penis man
It's, I think also...

28:04.17
Bevo
And that's what's making her frustrated. He's like pratfall everywhere.

28:07.21
Chibbs
Is he Humpty Dumpty?

28:07.89
gav
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

28:08.37
Chibbs
Who is this guy? Is he an egg?

28:09.46
Christmas Penis man
yeah I think he might be an egg.

28:09.53
gav
He's in it. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

28:11.98
Bevo
Tripped over the couch.

28:14.10
Christmas Penis man
And he's driving the car earlier too, so there's problems there.

28:14.07
gav
ah

28:16.36
Bevo
It's Jar Jar Binks. Yeah.

28:17.78
gav
but

28:18.39
Chibbs
ah This is from George R's perspective.

28:19.71
Mad Dog
yeah george ah

28:19.90
Christmas Penis man
um

28:21.16
gav
I'd love it. I'd love it if you were like, if you'd heard this song back in like, whatever this was, what year? 2003. I forget. Anyway, whatever the fuck you hear this song and you're like, oh that's a really deep chorus. He breaks, you know, that's, ah you know, it's really metaphorical.

28:33.24
gav
Then you watch the film clip and she's dating a fucking egg. And it's just like, yeah yeah it falls on me bra you're like Oh, literal.

28:36.53
Bevo
Ha ha.

28:38.07
Mad Dog
ah

28:39.86
Chibbs
No, no. You know what's even better?

28:40.54
gav
oh she was she was being literal

28:42.84
Chibbs
You know what's even better than than that is that it gets to the point where you see the video and it's like she's just dating a break dancer.

28:43.03
Christmas Penis man
Yeah, no, he does do that.

28:52.02
Chibbs
It's just the whole thing is like he's just he's just in full – he's a full B-boy.

28:52.66
Mad Dog
Yeah, I thought we were in ray gun territory here.

28:52.79
Bevo
ah

28:53.08
gav
ah Raygun he's a b-boy he breaks and he takes what he gets

28:56.23
Mad Dog
Yeah.

28:58.30
Chibbs
Like he's in break competition. So it's like – You're falling, you're crawling around, you're breakdancing. That's what he said. And she's like, i'm I'm not into this at all.

29:07.22
gav
nice this is weird this is a weird hobby and he's and he's like hobby how dare you this is my passion

29:08.22
Christmas Penis man
ah

29:10.61
Chibbs
Like, this isn't, I just want to skateboard.

29:12.31
Christmas Penis man
Yeah, you've complicated this by breakdancing.

29:13.48
Chibbs
It's like, we were into skateboarding together. I didn't think you were going to get this much into dance.

29:22.30
gav
I thought you wanted to trash the mall with me.

29:22.55
Chibbs
Yeah.

29:22.73
Mad Dog
Yeah.

29:22.78
Bevo
As an egg, I have the perfect physique for breakdance.

29:26.23
gav
fuck. Yeah.

29:27.29
Mad Dog
yeah

29:28.06
Chibbs
ah

29:28.41
Christmas Penis man
Yeah. How can I not do the spinny dance move thing that breakdancers do? I'm an egg.

29:35.86
gav
ah fuck

29:36.47
Christmas Penis man
I don't even know what it's called.

29:36.94
Chibbs
whats if What's he faking?

29:38.97
gav
yeah

29:41.13
Chibbs
Honestly, you promise me I'm never going to find you fake it.

29:41.82
Bevo
Not being an egg.

29:44.07
Chibbs
What the

29:45.11
gav
yeah

29:45.32
Bevo
It's faking. I hear it as faking and I also hear it as getting me frustrated, not gets me frustrated. So I reckon the lyrics are wrong here, but that's just me.

29:52.54
gav
me Oh, fuck. i don't know.

29:55.32
Christmas Penis man
Um, yeah, well, let's go with what beverage he is the mass and let's, um,

29:59.67
Bevo
Yeah, that's that's right.

30:00.55
Chibbs
fuck is that, mate?

30:02.96
Bevo
What's that?

30:03.74
Chibbs
What difference does it make?

30:05.82
Bevo
Oh, none.

30:06.40
Mad Dog
It's... it's

30:06.86
Bevo
Let's move the fuck is Cuneo?

30:07.99
gav
but No, can we go back to where the hell Dan Southern got these Banh Mies? For fuck's sake, it is wearing on me. The

30:20.87
gav
fuck is giddy-o?

30:21.36
Christmas Penis man
Mimic need.

30:23.28
Chibbs
yet.

30:23.35
Mad Dog
but

30:28.54
Chibbs
imp presentsoner

30:30.07
gav
Can I ask though, if you mimic the mimic minute ah stinger, do you have to play the mimic minute stinger?

30:33.56
Bevo
Yeah, you could have played it twice.

30:36.47
Christmas Penis man
ah says It's like Inception.

30:37.53
Bevo
Oh.

30:37.56
Chibbs
but ah Verse two.

30:40.73
gav
This is a rusty start to the year, man.

30:42.68
Chibbs
Verse two.

30:42.65
gav
This is rusty.

30:43.31
Bevo
No, I'm having a great Like an egg.

30:43.32
Chibbs
It goes. Verse two goes. You come over unannounced.

30:51.26
Mad Dog
Come over.

30:52.72
Chibbs
Dressed up like you're something else. fuck

30:56.47
Christmas Penis man
What? I'm

31:02.43
gav
What is he? Is he dressed as a banana? What is it? Oh,

31:08.18
Christmas Penis man
a vampire. Rawr.

31:11.93
Bevo
He loves his cosplay. He's really into it.

31:13.62
Christmas Penis man
by o are i'm a vampire ah

31:16.62
Bevo
he's come with it He's got was a gun damn.

31:20.60
gav
oh fuck. Okay, sorry. Save it. Save it.

31:22.55
Chibbs
just just stop like it

31:23.39
Mad Dog
I'm a nerd.

31:23.35
gav
Oh, fuck.

31:25.18
Chibbs
Dressed up like you're something else. Where you ain't where it's at.

31:30.74
Bevo
Where you are ain't where it's at.

31:32.06
Chibbs
Where you are ain't where it's at. You see you're making me laugh out when you strike a pose. i Take off all your preppy clothes. You know you're not fooling anyone when you become...

31:49.30
gav
When you become...

31:49.69
Bevo
Well, I'm going to do a mimic minute now because she does say strike your pose.

31:50.78
Chibbs
When you pre-come.

31:54.31
gav
Hey.

31:54.49
Chibbs
Pose, close, close, close.

31:55.00
Christmas Penis man
Like the post.

31:55.19
Bevo
Pose.

31:55.38
gav
She really bottomed... Yeah, she's Canadian.

31:56.91
Christmas Penis man
Yeah, she really gives it up.

31:57.44
Mad Dog
Yeah.

31:57.73
gav
She's Canadian as fuck in that moment.

31:58.12
Bevo
So there's mimic minute.

32:00.95
Chibbs
Eh?

32:01.37
Christmas Penis man
it So he shows up unannounced.

32:02.04
Bevo
Okay.

32:01.99
gav
Yeah.

32:02.40
Bevo
Let's, let's all go around. Let's all have a go at just deciding what she's, what he's dressed up as.

32:03.49
Christmas Penis man
That's fucked.

32:06.77
Bevo
Cause I think we all want to.

32:06.81
Chibbs
Okay. No, let's just say, first of all, unannounced.

32:09.56
Christmas Penis man
Something. Yeah, unannounced is fucked.

32:10.78
Chibbs
You're laying on couch at home.

32:10.74
gav
Yeah.

32:11.26
Mad Dog
Yeah.

32:13.91
Chibbs
you just You're watching the cricket.

32:16.60
Mad Dog
yeah

32:17.46
Chibbs
Enjoyable day. Knock on the door.

32:18.34
Bevo
I'm in.

32:20.02
Chibbs
Someone comes in dressed as Southern.

32:20.14
gav
Oh, who's that? Who's that?

32:25.14
Mad Dog
Barney the dinosaur.

32:25.27
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

32:30.52
Christmas Penis man
um A vampire.

32:30.92
Mad Dog
Dressed to upload.

32:32.81
gav
A vampire?

32:33.40
Chibbs
but

32:33.31
gav
All right. All right.

32:34.98
Mad Dog
I'm here to suck your blood.

32:36.73
gav
oh

32:44.98
Christmas Penis man
That'd be fucked. If someone showed up and announced as a vampire and said, I'm here to suck your blood, I'd be like, fuck off.

32:50.16
Chibbs
You'd be like, it's Halloween. Yeah,

32:53.05
Bevo
No, because you you'd have to invite them into your home for that vampire.

32:55.13
gav
Yeah, exactly. that's there's You got a safety net there.

32:56.34
Chibbs
that's right.

32:56.79
Christmas Penis man
Yeah, yeah so if they were properly committed.

32:58.17
Chibbs
Plus, I always keep holy water on my coffee table for that.

32:58.05
gav
Yeah.

33:01.72
Christmas Penis man
Yeah, and this and look, my my walls are lined with garlic, so you got no chance.

33:02.13
Chibbs
Yeah.

33:02.01
gav
ah

33:02.81
Chibbs
Yeah.

33:09.34
Mad Dog
My walls.

33:09.91
gav
Yeah.

33:10.11
Chibbs
What?

33:10.90
Christmas Penis man
well

33:10.84
gav
Yeah.

33:11.54
Chibbs
I'm always keeping plenty of garlic in my crawl spaces.

33:14.71
Christmas Penis man
At all times.

33:15.00
gav
ah

33:15.76
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

33:16.85
Chibbs
All time. Um...

33:18.58
Mad Dog
um Yeah, like...

33:21.24
Chibbs
But he's also dressed up in some sort of costume. And for some reason I have, like, I think because I've watched the video, I've got that hot dog costume, like, in my head.

33:28.44
gav
ah

33:29.82
Mad Dog
Yes.

33:30.40
Chibbs
So it's like he's turned up in a hot dog outfit, but then just strikes poses in your living room. like

33:36.98
Christmas Penis man
Is us doing poses.

33:37.34
Bevo
and then she told him to fucking strip naked

33:37.34
Chibbs
And she's like, get all that preppy clothes off. It's like, I'm a hot dog. I couldn't be less preppy.

33:44.15
gav
ah

33:44.67
Chibbs
Yeah.

33:44.96
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

33:45.50
gav
I think for me, it's like one of those, you know, those like Silicon master, like photo realistic, except it's just Rolf Harris.

33:53.50
Mad Dog
ah

33:54.58
Christmas Penis man
ah

33:56.02
Chibbs
You just tap it on a paint tint?

33:57.37
gav
he just did little little Sure can.

33:58.33
Chibbs
He normally does this on kids' assholes. ah pa loop

34:02.45
gav
I don't know. Whatever the fuck.

34:05.75
Chibbs
he only does this on kids assholes

34:06.00
Mad Dog
Bit cardboard.

34:09.05
Christmas Penis man
Oh, no. Wait.

34:09.53
Mad Dog
but w but but but wo

34:09.61
Christmas Penis man
What?

34:09.69
gav
ah Bevo's not happy. That might be my favorite joke of the year so far. Just so know, Chibs, you're right in the slot.

34:17.19
Christmas Penis man
What?

34:17.62
gav
Keep this energy up.

34:18.17
Chibbs
Thanks, Gavin.

34:18.54
gav
This is it.

34:19.41
Chibbs
Take this energy up! Put a shirt!

34:23.58
Bevo
not happy.

34:24.55
gav
Rolf Harris playing and a melody on kids' assholes.

34:28.96
Chibbs
Yes. Um...

34:30.26
gav
That is fucking... I don't give a shit what anyone says. That is peak this podcast. i don't give a fuck.

34:35.16
Chibbs
the shit

34:35.55
Bevo
Oh boy. Oh boy.

34:40.21
gav
Oh, fuck.

34:40.41
Mad Dog
Oh, Jesus.

34:40.82
Chibbs
no

34:41.75
Bevo
boy

34:42.10
Chibbs
um

34:42.52
Bevo
boy

34:43.17
gav
Bevo, what were they dressed as if you're you're so averse to the Rolf Harris?

34:43.86
Chibbs
you know

34:46.49
Bevo
Oh, that's, um, I, yeah, I thought about like full cosplay, you know, like comic con, like big robot suits.

34:50.08
Christmas Penis man
Grumble, grumble, grumble.

34:55.01
Chibbs
Sailor Moon.

34:55.83
Bevo
Yeah. Yeah.

34:56.06
gav
Sure, sure.

34:56.67
Bevo
That'll do.

34:58.07
gav
You stop.

34:58.71
Christmas Penis man
but

34:59.65
gav
Oh, fuck.

35:00.73
Bevo
no No, I was just thinking maybe he's got a job at like pizza hut and he's coming in in the uniform.

35:00.73
Chibbs
um

35:04.83
Bevo
He's like, what the fuck is this? He's like, it's just my uniform.

35:07.09
Chibbs
You've sold out, man.

35:07.64
gav
ah you

35:09.09
Chibbs
You were a breakdancer, man.

35:12.86
gav
yeah and

35:15.19
Chibbs
You forgot about the streets.

35:15.29
gav
of i

35:15.67
Mad Dog
I

35:18.17
gav
e

35:20.22
Chibbs
Here, I've got a cardboard box cut out for you to spin on. that a thing? That's a thing? That's a thing, yeah. ah

35:27.22
gav
Why do you know so much about b-boy culture?

35:27.96
Chibbs
so

35:29.50
gav
What is this? Is this how you come out to us?

35:32.50
Bevo
is the real basics of

35:36.82
Mad Dog
I can't afford books.

35:40.36
gav
How do you know that shit? I don't know that shit. I don't know that shit. If that...

35:44.18
Mad Dog
It's a thing.

35:44.95
Chibbs
yeah

35:45.37
gav
Oh, fuck.

35:45.53
Mad Dog
it is a thing.

35:45.89
gav
I think something's walked out.

35:46.86
Bevo
he's got it.

35:47.00
Chibbs
Yeah.

35:47.35
Bevo
And he's...

35:47.86
Chibbs
i only I only absorb and the most useless of nonsense for this exact moment.

35:48.73
gav
oh fuck. Fuck.

35:56.32
Chibbs
It's like I was born to do this podcast.

35:57.58
gav
Oh, fuck. Oh, my God.

36:00.47
Chibbs
Yeah. um

36:01.71
Mad Dog
That's hilarious.

36:02.30
gav
Oh, my jet hurts.

36:02.68
Chibbs
Yeah.

36:03.54
gav
I'm fucking dying.

36:03.77
Chibbs
um The pre-chorus is the same. Is that right, Bevo?

36:06.71
Bevo
Yeah.

36:07.03
Chibbs
The same?

36:07.15
Bevo
The only thing that's different now, I think, is the no, no, no's in the post chorus.

36:11.48
Chibbs
So we're done.

36:11.66
Mad Dog
It's pretty much pretty much it

36:12.47
gav
Hit us with the post chorus.

36:12.86
Bevo
Well, if you want to talk about her saying no, no, no, no.

36:13.43
Mad Dog
ah

36:13.60
Chibbs
No, it's a bridge. It's a bridge. It's a bridge.

36:15.53
Bevo
Yeah.

36:18.42
Chibbs
A lot of no's.

36:19.61
gav
Lots of no's. She's saying no a lot.

36:21.00
Christmas Penis man
Hmm.

36:22.46
Chibbs
um

36:22.74
Christmas Penis man
Someone's offering a I think someone's offering her like...

36:22.71
gav
She's saying no to fighting me. she's She's seen these. She's seen these.

36:27.86
Christmas Penis man
ah Yeah.

36:28.17
gav
She knows what's up.

36:29.30
Christmas Penis man
She's saying doesn't want to fight Gavin.

36:32.18
Chibbs
You can't even see his eyes.

36:32.54
gav
She's seen... Just be... Rest assured, they're just black. They're just completely fucking black.

36:39.83
Chibbs
Gav.

36:40.13
Christmas Penis man
Twice.

36:40.21
gav
All pupil. Yeah, what's up?

36:41.59
Chibbs
Twice, twice in the last fortnight, I've been mistaken for swamp wallaby.

36:48.21
gav
No fucking way.

36:49.02
Bevo
Oh. Peggy?

36:49.77
gav
See, you get you get recognized as Swamp Wallaby more than I do.

36:50.17
Christmas Penis man
Twice.

36:53.91
gav
ah

36:55.22
Chibbs
so So some chick at Dan Sullivan's house, um I don't know who that was.

37:01.59
Christmas Penis man
My wife?

37:02.31
Chibbs
No, it wasn't.

37:02.65
Bevo
Your daughter?

37:03.16
gav
ah

37:03.35
Mad Dog
some chick.

37:03.93
Bevo
peggy

37:04.18
Chibbs
yeah It was a complete stranger it's complete stranger to me.

37:05.34
gav
this is this is this is he this This is how Naomi finds out that Dan's cheating on it.

37:06.81
Bevo
daughter

37:09.01
Chibbs
But, yeah.

37:10.83
gav
It's just like...

37:11.54
Chibbs
But she's like... I could tell she didn't really, like, she couldn't really pinpoint who I was and just threw a swamp out there. Like, swamp? And I'm like, no, no, that's Gavin.

37:21.13
gav
Oh, yeah. yeahwa Yeah.

37:23.42
Chibbs
you You're thinking a Gavin.

37:23.76
Bevo
No, I'm from there, but no.

37:24.94
Chibbs
That's Gavin. No, not.

37:26.05
Bevo
I'm

37:26.46
gav
Straight out the swamp.

37:26.86
Chibbs
I'm not swamp.

37:27.42
Christmas Penis man
a

37:27.46
Chibbs
And then and then dan southern's own dan southern's Dan Southerns' own daughter...

37:29.19
Bevo
like Shrek to

37:33.14
Chibbs
peggy

37:33.21
gav
Oh shit.

37:34.55
Chibbs
was like, I don't like, you're a bad guy. And I'm like, um I'm not a bad guy.

37:39.06
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

37:39.71
Chibbs
She's like, no, you are.

37:39.93
Bevo
ah Well, you're right, but I'm not who you think I am.

37:40.45
Mad Dog
You're a bad guy.

37:40.75
Chibbs
When you wear when you wear when you wear the mask, you're a bad guy. And I'm like, that's Gavin for fuck's sake.

37:45.46
Christmas Penis man
Yeah. And I'm like, she's.

37:47.52
Chibbs
It's fucking Gavin.

37:48.02
Bevo
I'm a bad guy, but not in that context.

37:49.89
Chibbs
It's fucking Gavin.

37:49.94
gav
Oh my God.

37:50.81
Chibbs
What are you talking about?

37:50.94
gav
i love that so much. I fucking love that.

37:53.08
Christmas Penis man
Yeah. I initially.

37:53.74
gav
What am i

37:54.01
Chibbs
Yeah.

37:55.45
gav
Yeah, I think.

37:55.82
Christmas Penis man
Initially thought she was talking. She thought the chips was Jim Carrey. And I was like, no he's not Jim Carrey.

38:00.67
gav
Oh fuck.

38:01.27
Bevo
It's because he was walking around the house in a green mask.

38:02.04
Chibbs
That happens a lot as well. I do get mistaken for Jim Carrey.

38:03.42
gav
that I'm sure you get that.

38:04.44
Christmas Penis man
he doesn't wear a mask in the movie.

38:04.70
gav
so

38:05.88
Christmas Penis man
The mask. He's not Jim Carrey.

38:07.99
Chibbs
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

38:07.93
gav
So the first time I the first time i played ah a stand-up show as Swamp Wallaby because I'd done a bunch of music shows and they would just always felt off. And then Southern hit up and was like, play that... What was the grandma? I'm sorry, Nan, or whatever the that that show was called.

38:26.49
gav
And I got up and I played a...

38:27.22
Christmas Penis man
Yeah. So sorry, Nan. I think the

38:28.82
gav
So sorry, I got up and played a Swamp Wallaby set at that show and Peggy was like, fucking so young wait with that was right right Peggy was young as hell

38:37.24
Bevo
Okay, let's give some context for the listeners that Peggy is Dan Southern's daughter.

38:42.89
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

38:42.87
gav
and at this point basically like baby very very very young child sitting in the front row listening to me just like screaming about torturing people it was just like yeah it was grim it was grim so I'm not surprised if she's got some core memories of me being just not a good person that tracks man

38:43.06
Mad Dog
Yes.

38:43.51
Chibbs
Yeah.

38:43.83
Christmas Penis man
Not my grandma.

38:51.70
Chibbs
And bombing the government.

38:53.94
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

38:53.97
Mad Dog
Go and bomb the government.

39:00.79
Chibbs
But she was like, you're a bad guy.

39:01.09
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

39:01.24
Mad Dog
but

39:02.47
Chibbs
And I'm like, I don't want it.

39:03.00
Mad Dog
You are a bad guy.

39:04.07
Chibbs
What? What?

39:04.77
Mad Dog
Yes.

39:04.83
Chibbs
What are you talking about? I'm not a bad guy.

39:06.23
gav
Like, how do you know?

39:06.84
Mad Dog
nice

39:07.11
gav
I am, but why do you know Gavin's bad guy.

39:07.77
Chibbs
And then we both, Dan Southern and I both had to be like, no, no, Gavin's a bad guy. Yeah,

39:11.75
gav
a genuinely guy.

39:12.06
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

39:12.35
gav
Oh, fuck.

39:13.66
Bevo
He just plays a character.

39:14.78
Chibbs
yeah.

39:14.94
gav
ah

39:17.08
Chibbs
I'm not Gavin.

39:17.17
Christmas Penis man
ha

39:17.86
Chibbs
Gavin's a bad guy. Gavin's a bad guy.

39:18.71
gav
gavin's a gavin's a genuinely bad guy

39:21.19
Chibbs
Genuinely terrible person. um

39:23.16
gav
yeah

39:24.12
Chibbs
the The bridge goes, chill out, what you yelling for?

39:26.62
gav
of

39:28.68
Chibbs
Lay back, it's all been done before. And if you could only let it be, you will see. So back to yelling.

39:36.18
Bevo
to you.

39:37.08
gav
Yeah.

39:38.19
Mad Dog
its This is unhinged.

39:38.23
Chibbs
Back to yelling. Yeah, that's bridge.

39:40.21
Mad Dog
Yeah.

39:40.82
Bevo
Yeah.

39:41.44
Chibbs
I think that's it.

39:42.33
gav
That might be it yeah

39:43.00
Mad Dog
It is it.

39:43.13
Bevo
That is it. There's a lot of repeats.

39:45.11
Chibbs
The last chorus goes forever. It's got a few A's in there. Hey! Yeah.

39:49.01
gav
it.

39:49.54
Bevo
Fonzie.

39:50.06
Chibbs
Fonz, the Fonz.

39:52.12
Christmas Penis man
yeah

39:52.63
Chibbs
Yeah.

39:52.69
Bevo
Arthur Fonzarelli.

39:54.18
Chibbs
It's like, I've been fucking bitches. Hey!

39:56.73
Christmas Penis man
a

39:57.41
Chibbs
Yeah.

39:58.89
gav
With my dick. Hey.

40:00.31
Chibbs
yeah There's no cum in these balls.

40:01.50
gav
ah

40:02.55
Christmas Penis man
The dudes around him like...

40:05.88
Chibbs
Hey!

40:06.55
gav
ah

40:07.02
Chibbs
Yeah, the Fonz.

40:07.36
Mad Dog
vulva vulva

40:08.40
Chibbs
Yeah. the fos

40:10.02
Christmas Penis man
They're like, Fonz, you've been fucking bitches.

40:11.81
gav
Thumps her vulva like a jukebox.

40:12.26
Christmas Penis man
ah

40:12.79
Mad Dog
vulva

40:14.51
gav
That's

40:17.24
Bevo
yeah

40:18.23
gav
how he makes that shit work. Yeah.

40:22.24
Mad Dog
vulva

40:24.79
Bevo
All right, Dan.

40:24.60
gav
ah

40:25.39
Bevo
Sorry. Dan, please finish the thought, Dan, because Kevin and interrupted me.

40:26.42
gav
hi

40:30.39
Christmas Penis man
Um, it was, uh, it was basically you're in the moment and he says, I've been fucking bitches. Hey, and then you go, sorry, excuse me. The Fonz, you mean all consensual, right?

40:41.56
Christmas Penis man
And he goes, Hey,

40:41.59
Bevo
Arthur.

40:44.13
gav
Hey!

40:44.58
Chibbs
Hey!

40:44.79
gav
yeah

40:47.14
Chibbs
Fucking shakes leather jacket and fucking does a burnout in your driveway.

40:47.75
Bevo
drives off on his motorbike. Just like walks off with his motorbike.

40:54.80
Chibbs
Hey! Hey!

40:55.53
Christmas Penis man
he's still yelling at, he's like, Hey,

40:55.72
Bevo
just like just wi waddles it off with his feet.

40:58.29
Chibbs
Hey!

41:00.95
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

41:01.09
Chibbs
it's like the crazy frog doing the motorbo sound a yeah

41:05.94
Christmas Penis man
yeah Do they have them like, do they have like Tesla motorbikes that don't make any noise?

41:08.87
Bevo
That's such a family guy sketch.

41:15.96
Chibbs
electric bikes oh hold on i gotta stop hold on hold on hold on stop stop stop doggy's dropped yeah

41:16.31
Bevo
It's called a push bike.

41:17.70
gav
They've got those...

41:18.07
Christmas Penis man
ah Is this on a push bike then?

41:22.32
Chibbs
doggggie doggies dropped follow yeah

41:24.60
gav
shit.

41:25.52
Christmas Penis man
he's still here my screen.

41:25.53
gav
All right, that's great. oh

00:01.02
Chibbs
Alright, it was released on the 14th of May 2002, that 243 days after the towers collapsed under their own weight by fire.

00:03.67
gav
move

00:09.08
gav
nice the

00:10.24
Mad Dog
Racing. Yeah.

00:12.28
Chibbs
ah

00:16.04
gav
nice oh well we've been on that long have we fuck we are we are running long we are running long

00:17.37
Christmas Penis man
but

00:19.64
Chibbs
Oh, we're doubling up now.

00:20.09
Christmas Penis man
ja Yeah, we double tapped it. Well, two towers, two times.

00:24.95
Chibbs
Fuck. it. yeah Yeah, that's right. One for each tower. think

00:28.66
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

00:29.40
gav
ah

00:31.30
Chibbs
That's fucking great. All right. um It was written by Avril Lavigne and The Matrix.

00:38.94
Bevo
weaving.

00:38.90
Christmas Penis man
Oh, the movie.

00:40.28
Chibbs
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:40.95
gav
Yeah, the movie co-wrote the track.

00:41.83
Christmas Penis man
I guess the movie didn't have much to do after 1999 because they made a sequel.

00:45.06
Chibbs
Keanu Reeves, The Matrix.

00:45.11
Christmas Penis man
cause they made a sequel

00:47.80
Bevo
hugo weaving

00:49.40
Chibbs
um Lawrence Fishburne's The Matrix. Yeah, ah who the Matrix are made up of Lauren Christie, Graham Edwards, and Scott Spock.

01:00.52
Chibbs
We've spoken about the Matrix so many times.

01:01.53
Bevo
Yeah, we have Spock. I remember Spock.

01:03.34
Chibbs
Yeah, so many times. Yeah. um

01:06.20
Mad Dog
okay

01:06.26
Bevo
Lovable Spock.

01:07.77
Chibbs
So here's the thing, right? Avril Lavigne is a fucking sham.

01:15.09
Mad Dog
Oh, 100%. What type of shame...

01:17.53
Bevo
not Not in the way you're thinking, Gavin. I saw that face that you just made.

01:20.16
gav
Oh, damn. i got i got really I got really excited. I got super excited.

01:23.94
Chibbs
Yeah.

01:24.20
gav
I was like, are we doing it?

01:24.73
Mad Dog
well type of shame

01:24.98
Chibbs
She, um...

01:25.24
Christmas Penis man
ah you Are you referring to conspiracy theories or are you like the...

01:25.72
gav
Are we doing it?

01:29.75
Chibbs
Not yet.

01:29.69
gav
No, i don't think he is That's why I got that's why i got so excited.

01:30.23
Chibbs
Not yet. I'll let Gavin. I'm going to let Gavin. I'm going to let Gavin take conspiracy. I need a stinger for Conspiracy Corner.

01:37.05
Christmas Penis man
Conspiracy corner, yeah, that's good.

01:38.33
Chibbs
Yeah. But, um...

01:38.97
Christmas Penis man
Conspiracy corner.

01:39.30
Bevo
Yeah.

01:44.95
Chibbs
Can you do a pet, like a Beach Boys ah style Conspiracy Corner stinger for me there?

01:50.92
Christmas Penis man
Oh, yeah. Yes, that'd be good.

01:51.83
Bevo
yeah

01:52.22
Chibbs
Yeah. yeah um So she was marketed as a ah skater punk outsider, but tightly A&R guided.

01:59.94
Mad Dog
Jesus.

02:02.66
Chibbs
um Yeah.

02:02.72
Bevo
i'm cooking up conspiracies he's taking it literally

02:06.52
gav
ah

02:07.06
Chibbs
ah she She's, I don't want to say she's the first industry plant, but in probably our, like,

02:08.89
gav
but

02:17.80
gav
Lifetime.

02:17.97
Chibbs
era generation she was probably the first one that was a blatant industry plant where she so it got to the point where she was living in new york she was from she's from canada she got signed to a record label moved to new york to write songs and the whole idea was that she would be a the next faith hill

02:18.62
gav
Yeah.

02:19.95
Bevo
yeah

02:24.47
Mad Dog
Blatant. Yeah.

02:43.54
Bevo
Ah, not punk princess.

02:44.60
Mad Dog
Yeah.

02:45.47
Chibbs
No, so we've got it. We've got our next Faith Hill. She's here. It's Avril Lavigne. That's our next Faith Hill. Write some songs. Her songs sucked.

02:56.88
Chibbs
Like nothing would get greenlit by the record label. This isn't good enough to release.

03:01.01
Mad Dog
I'm shocked.

03:01.75
Chibbs
This isn't good enough to release. No good, no good, no good, no good. So she um as basically gets told... we're going to send you out to LA to work with these three songwriters who are the matrix.

03:17.53
Chibbs
If you can not come up with a song, we will drop you. We will cut our losses. You will be dropped from the label. At this point, she's a development artist. So like they haven't probably invested tons of money yet. No marketing budget. So whatever, they send her out to LA to work with the matrix.

03:35.88
Chibbs
And when she's with the matrix, she's telling them, I'm not going to work with you. I write my own songs. ah I, I, you know, and they're like, and they're like, you're, you're yeah, whatever.

03:42.82
Bevo
Wow, that's bold.

03:47.13
Bevo
The fuck you ain't?

03:48.46
gav
Ha!

03:49.47
Chibbs
The label's paying us to fucking hang around the studio for a few days to help you with some songs. So we don't give a shit, whatever. And she's like,

03:57.16
Bevo
Yeah.

03:58.53
Chibbs
That's fine. They end up just having a conversation with her. I'm like, what like you know what are you even into? like They want you to be the next Faith Hill. What are you into? She's like, ah know a bit of everything.

04:07.76
Bevo
Thank you.

04:09.16
Chibbs
like I like pop punk and I like this and that or whatever. And just sort of chucked a few things out there. And they went, you go back to your hotel, come back tomorrow, we'll have some songs for you.

04:21.75
Chibbs
It's just like, whatever. Okay, fine. that The record label doesn't want anything to do with her. They're going to drop her anyway. She goes back to the hotel. She turns up the next day and one of the songs that is sitting there ready for her to go is Complicated.

04:35.61
gav
ah

04:37.33
Mad Dog
Well,

04:37.39
Chibbs
Now, Complicated is not a pop punk song.

04:40.73
Bevo
No.

04:40.79
Christmas Penis man
No, this is where i like I'll let everyone say their piece.

04:41.34
Mad Dog
it's...

04:41.66
Chibbs
At all.

04:44.26
Christmas Penis man
so I just have a few things to say. So let me know when I can talk.

04:46.51
Chibbs
Yeah, we'll get there. So it's not a pop punk song at all, but they have sent through words to the record label saying she's in the pop punk. That's pretty popular at the moment with, you know, Blink-182 and The Offspring and some...

05:01.75
Bevo
And there wasn't any female.

05:02.95
gav
Some 41.

05:03.82
Chibbs
Sum 41, you know, yeah, exactly. So they're like, um we're we're just going write a bunch of punk songs. We'll write a bunch of punk songs for her and we'll send them through and see how they are.

05:14.77
Chibbs
And she fought them on it the whole time.

05:18.64
Bevo
Oh, tooth and nail.

05:19.49
Chibbs
Like, yeah, she was like, no, no, no.

05:19.86
Mad Dog
Wow.

05:23.19
Chibbs
no And then you've got that, you know, like, It's funny because you really only get like these handful of actual pop punk songs that they wrote, but the rest is filled in with this, like complicated and whatever.

05:32.46
Bevo
Yeah. This whole song's about her. It's

05:36.50
Chibbs
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So...

05:37.88
gav
ah

05:39.63
Chibbs
I think they, it does sound like they were just fucking annoyed at her being a fucking brat that they didn't want us to have deal with.

05:39.74
Bevo
trying to relax.

05:41.05
gav
Just try and relax.

05:47.23
Chibbs
And so, but by this point they go complicated.

05:47.48
Bevo
Yeah.

05:51.44
Chibbs
That's a hit. They send it through the record label. It's a, they like, that's fucking hit. How does the hit song, But we wanted to be a punk chick. So they basically had to gaslight the public into going, this is punk.

06:03.48
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

06:05.43
Chibbs
She's a punk chick.

06:06.69
gav
All right.

06:06.90
Bevo
Well, ah did Skater Boy come out first?

06:06.94
Chibbs
See, she's punk.

06:07.19
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

06:07.99
Chibbs
But the music and the visuals do not match up at all. And it's because of that.

06:13.82
Christmas Penis man
Yes.

06:14.11
Chibbs
It's because of all of this shit that's going on.

06:15.38
gav
Yeah, yeah.

06:16.25
Christmas Penis man
Yes.

06:17.50
Chibbs
Yeah.

06:18.10
Christmas Penis man
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

06:18.57
Chibbs
So you go...

06:18.62
Bevo
Was Skater Boy first or complicated?

06:18.74
gav
Huh.

06:20.48
Chibbs
No, this is complicated.

06:20.66
gav
Yeah, yeah.

06:21.52
Christmas Penis man
Nah, this is first.

06:21.91
Chibbs
Complicated's the first song.

06:23.13
Mad Dog
This is the first first release.

06:23.16
Bevo
Really?

06:23.35
Chibbs
Yes. Yes.

06:25.05
Mad Dog
Yeah, I don't remember that ah don't remember it that way either.

06:24.82
Christmas Penis man
Nah.

06:25.61
Bevo
No. No.

06:28.73
Chibbs
Skater Boy was the next single after that, and you went, oh, okay, now the visual starts to make sense.

06:30.90
gav
Yeah. yeah

06:32.26
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

06:33.77
Chibbs
Okay, now I kind of get it.

06:34.14
Christmas Penis man
Yeah, yeah.

06:35.31
Chibbs
But that's not what she was about at all.

06:35.52
Bevo
That's clever.

06:38.56
Chibbs
for The entire time she got signed a record deal, she was going to be Faith Hill.

06:38.46
gav
yeah

06:43.92
Bevo
When he keeps saying Faith Hill as if it's like a ah feeling, not a name.

06:43.96
Christmas Penis man
Yeah. Yeah.

06:47.55
Chibbs
it's it's It's, you know, what that 90s country...

06:48.54
gav
Faith Hill.

06:49.65
Bevo
Faith Hill.

06:49.66
gav
It's, it's, I'm just, I'm just, I got that, I got that real, I got that real Faith Hill.

06:50.20
Christmas Penis man
I tell...

06:50.84
Bevo
Faith, first name. First name Faith, last name Hill.

06:54.11
Mad Dog
Faith Hill.

06:56.05
Chibbs
We've done that. what what mean What song did she do?

06:58.17
Bevo
This kiss.

06:58.31
Chibbs
that ah This Kiss. And don't you think...

07:00.99
gav
So fuckable.

07:01.17
Bevo
It's just, no, it's just the way you're saying Faith Hill.

07:01.68
Chibbs
I? Faith

07:03.53
Bevo
It's like saying like ice cream.

07:04.41
Mad Dog
Yeah.

07:07.01
Bevo
No, it's ice cream.

07:06.90
Christmas Penis man
Yeah, I go Faith Hill.

07:07.22
Mad Dog
Yeah.

07:08.11
gav
You're putting, you're putting the wrong emphasis on the wrong syllables.

07:10.85
Bevo
Faith Hill.

07:11.31
Chibbs
Hill. Her

07:12.02
Bevo
Yeah.

07:11.77
Christmas Penis man
Yeah, there you go There you go.

07:12.59
Bevo
Faith Hill.

07:13.25
Christmas Penis man
That's a good way saying it.

07:13.69
Mad Dog
Faith Hill.

07:14.54
Bevo
It's like you're describing a Hill.

07:14.74
Chibbs
name's Hill.

07:14.91
Mad Dog
Yeah.

07:15.45
Chibbs
Her last name's Hill.

07:15.32
Christmas Penis man
um

07:16.18
Bevo
Just meet me over at Faith Hill.

07:19.39
Christmas Penis man
It's like saying Deflepid.

07:19.87
Chibbs
Her last name's Hill.

07:20.12
Bevo
Yeah. Yeah. But you're saying it like, don't know. Faith Hill. Faith Hill.

07:24.84
gav
it's like saying It's like saying mad dog instead of mad dog.

07:25.91
Christmas Penis man
ah ah

07:28.63
Bevo
yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

07:29.11
Christmas Penis man
Yeah, or Mertellica.

07:30.86
Bevo
Describing the dog as mad and not... This is a...

07:32.50
Mad Dog
Dan Southern.

07:33.73
Chibbs
um That's exactly what I do.

07:33.87
gav
Damn Southern.

07:35.77
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

07:36.13
Mad Dog
Dan Southern.

07:36.47
Bevo
Dan Southern.

07:36.84
Christmas Penis man
Faith Hill, Mertellica.

07:37.99
Chibbs
Yeah, Southern.

07:38.08
gav
Swamp Wallaby.

07:38.84
Christmas Penis man
All

07:39.25
Chibbs
I want your thoughts, Southern.

07:41.98
gav
Yeah, hit us with your thoughts, Southern.

07:42.01
Christmas Penis man
all right. So my my thoughts are like, they're more formulated as a near 40 year old person, but I was that gaslit public that you're talking about.

07:42.81
Bevo
Yeah, right. Dan has the floor.

07:50.85
Christmas Penis man
Like as a 14 year old kid, loving just like what I would probably call more underground punk, but then very much loving mainstream, like pop punk stuff. I didn't give a fuck.

08:01.36
Christmas Penis man
I loved it all.

08:01.98
gav
so yeah So you're masturbating lot.

08:02.28
Christmas Penis man
um

08:03.38
gav
Continue. Yes.

08:04.54
Christmas Penis man
yeah

08:05.73
Chibbs
ah

08:06.78
Christmas Penis man
um yeah i i was like into all of it i didn't give a fuck it was on tv or yeah um but anyway i fucking i heard this shit and i i watched the film clip and i'm like what this is a chick doing pop punk this is fucking awesome and i watched it and loved it and it was so cool um and like yeah yeah well i mean that's all implied but um

08:08.60
Bevo
yes yes

08:09.75
Chibbs
Yes, yes, yes. yes the

08:13.64
Mad Dog
You masturbate.

08:25.88
gav
And masturbated. Go on. Go on.

08:29.12
Bevo
yes

08:29.69
gav
Yes.

08:31.90
Christmas Penis man
As I've gotten older, like my daughter, like I've shown her a bunch of music, but she's kind of, she's she's asked for Avril a few times. She's like, listen to Avril, listen to Avril. So we've had complicated on and and a few of other songs in the living room pretty like recently, but I've been listening lately and I'm like,

08:41.82
gav
Thank

08:49.59
Christmas Penis man
okay, i I don't want to be so bold as to say, like, these things need to happen in order for it to be a genre. Like, if you want to be metal, you need to do, you know, like, finger-tapping solos and double-kick.

09:02.30
Mad Dog
Yeah.

09:02.87
Chibbs
There's check marks. There's check marks.

09:05.50
Christmas Penis man
Yeah, i think I think some things need to happen for it to be in the in the world, right?

09:06.20
Mad Dog
Yeah.

09:09.40
gav
In the wheelhouse. Sure.

09:10.40
Chibbs
that's how a genre That's how a genre exists.

09:10.48
gav
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

09:10.62
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

09:11.88
gav
That's how a genre works. Sure.

09:13.14
Mad Dog
That is a genre.

09:13.32
Bevo
Yeah.

09:13.17
Christmas Penis man
Yeah, I definitely agree there.

09:13.72
gav
Yeah.

09:14.46
Mad Dog
Yeah.

09:15.45
Christmas Penis man
I just think that some things...

09:15.85
gav
it's not It's not plutonium jazz without a Geiger counter, man. That's it.

09:19.47
Bevo
Yeah. Yeah.

09:20.12
Christmas Penis man
yeah

09:23.51
Chibbs
not Nintendo Core without a Game Boy plugged in.

09:25.69
Bevo
yeah welfare

09:25.82
Chibbs
That's just not what it is. Yeah.

09:27.16
Christmas Penis man
I think some songs turn that on its head though by artists that we love. And then we go like, well, that's, that's this artist. And then it's like, is that a metal song or is that a punk song? it's like, no, that's, but it's like,

09:38.49
Bevo
A good example of that, ah someone on Facebook the other day was like getting angry that the record shop didn't have genre section. It's like, well, what about like, what about when Metallica put out Mama Said, which is a full on country song?

09:51.10
Bevo
Where are you putting that?

09:51.63
Chibbs
Yeah.

09:51.70
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

09:52.34
gav
Yeah.

09:52.47
Christmas Penis man
Yeah. Is that metal? You know what

09:54.33
Chibbs
It's Beyonce's um cowboy, the the card at cowboy car.

09:57.94
gav
Cowboy Carter.

09:58.25
Chibbs
Is that a country album or is it an R&B album?

09:59.83
Bevo
What is Steely Dan? Are they jazz or are they rock or what?

10:02.58
Chibbs
It's Yacht Rock.

10:02.95
Bevo
Or yeah, is that a section?

10:03.23
Christmas Penis man
mean? Yeah.

10:04.67
Bevo
Yeah.

10:04.52
gav
Hell yeah.

10:05.25
Chibbs
It should be.

10:05.44
gav
Hell yeah.

10:05.94
Mad Dog
Okay.

10:06.38
Chibbs
fucking should be.

10:06.40
gav
Favorite genre of the pod. Furious.

10:08.14
Chibbs
If I don't just see a fucking poster of a sailboat above a bunch of CDs, I'll tell you what.

10:14.52
Bevo
Sorry, Dan, carry on, finish your thought.

10:14.81
Christmas Penis man
um Um, yeah.

10:14.94
gav
fury

10:16.06
Christmas Penis man
So what I've been noticing though, like, cause I, I would, in you know, if you were ask me who are the top 10 pop punk artists of all time, when I say pop punk, I really do mean more the mainstream ones.

10:27.87
Christmas Penis man
Um, I mean, I would say like no effects and shit and Ramones like created the sound that became this stuff, but like, um, I would.

10:35.49
Chibbs
Yeah, but Newfound Glory are like the mount on the Mount Rushmore of pop punk bands and Blink-182, Blink-182, Offspring.

10:38.55
Christmas Penis man
Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. You what mean?

10:39.93
Mad Dog
Of course.

10:40.86
Christmas Penis man
But yeah.

10:41.36
gav
catalistt Catalyst has got to be one of the best pop punk albums ever released, right?

10:41.96
Chibbs
Offspring, 41.

10:41.74
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

10:44.60
Chibbs
They're all up there.

10:45.17
Christmas Penis man
Yeah, fucking it.

10:46.72
Chibbs
blin put it to offspring some forty one they're they're all they're all up there

10:51.13
gav
yeah

10:52.45
Christmas Penis man
Well, I wouldn't put her in the top five, but I definitely would put her in the top 10 and be like, she's, you know, like like the pop punk princess and shit, whatever. You listen to this song and there are no staples of pop punk in it.

11:06.52
Christmas Penis man
And I'll give you just a few, right?

11:07.28
Chibbs
It's not... Yeah.

11:08.76
Christmas Penis man
There are no, there is no chugging. It was like, like when you hear Skater Boy, like when it hits the verse, like,

11:13.99
Chibbs
Yeah.

11:15.13
Bevo
No distorted guitar.

11:15.66
Chibbs
no no palm mute No palm muting electric guitar.

11:18.28
Bevo
Yeah.

11:18.52
Christmas Penis man
Yeah, there's no there's no pump and electric guitar, right? there is There is like musicians doing really good musical parts and you can identify each part. There's like a lead.

11:29.44
Christmas Penis man
There's another thing over here. There's all these different things.

11:31.48
Chibbs
It's country rock.

11:32.12
Christmas Penis man
there's

11:32.47
Bevo
It's pop music. It's written the time.

11:34.22
Chibbs
It's country rock.

11:34.16
Christmas Penis man
There's like...

11:35.22
Mad Dog
It's more country than anything.

11:35.29
Bevo
for the time

11:37.21
Mad Dog
yeah

11:37.14
gav
Yeah.

11:37.08
Christmas Penis man
Yeah, there's bass guitar that you can only hear the sub bass in. You can hear the...

11:43.71
Chibbs
Yeah. Yeah.

11:44.19
Christmas Penis man
You can't hear any of the actual detail. um And then on top of that, there's like in the chorus where like typically a pop punk chorus is massive. That's where it gets fucking huge. And like this is huge.

11:54.67
Christmas Penis man
When it's like, well, you have to go, mate. It's fucking, it's cool, right? But the the drums are like closed hi-hats.

12:03.62
Chibbs
yeah

12:04.52
Christmas Penis man
It's like everything that you think stereotypically a pop punk song should have, this has none of it.

12:12.40
Chibbs
No, so ye but but you could pop-punk cover a tie on.

12:12.15
Christmas Penis man
and and And then like acoustic guitar to back all that up.

12:12.47
Mad Dog
Because it's not...

12:16.57
Bevo
Yeah, but she's got eye makeup.

12:18.62
Chibbs
you could do a potunk cover of this song

12:21.50
Bevo
She wears checkerboard stuff.

12:21.69
Christmas Penis man
Yeah. Yeah.

12:23.75
Chibbs
yeah

12:23.80
gav
Yeah, yeah.

12:24.27
Chibbs
like well she had a tie she had a tie

12:24.27
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

12:25.46
Bevo
Yeah.

12:25.49
gav
It's really funny. It's really funny we're talking about doing a pop-punk cover of this song and what it actually is because when I was listening to it, the i'm I've heard this song a zillion times. It was big. It was a big fucking song. Listening to it tonight, I literally thought to myself, this would actually be right for like, you know when Johnny Cash covered Hurt?

12:42.88
Chibbs
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

12:43.38
gav
And it was such a game changer. I'm like, he almost could have covered this. You know what i mean? It's like, this is like, it needs a deep voice.

12:49.62
Chibbs
That would have killed him.

12:50.33
gav
It needs a deep voice country cover.

12:51.76
Christmas Penis man
Why'd you have to go?

12:53.14
Bevo
Get Rick Rubin on the phone.

12:53.01
gav
It's right.

12:53.04
Christmas Penis man
It's so complicated.

12:54.39
gav
Yeah. Sorry.

12:56.04
Chibbs
Get AI onto it.

12:55.91
gav
Southern, you are hitting exactly what the fuck I'm talking about. It's like, why'd you have to go with me?

12:59.00
Chibbs
Get AI onto it, Gav. It'll make it for you.

13:01.11
Bevo
Yeah, well, this' nothing's off the table anymore, is it?

13:01.82
gav
Yeah. Well, I guess not.

13:02.34
Chibbs
Yeah.

13:02.97
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

13:04.21
Chibbs
No.

13:04.47
Christmas Penis man
Well, anyway, that's my realization.

13:04.76
gav
I guess not.

13:05.19
Chibbs
Yeah.

13:05.90
Christmas Penis man
know Like, I've heard it recently a lot because my daughter's listening and I'm like, it's still a fucking cool song, but it's like, it's got no staples of pop punk at all other than the fact that the visual...

13:08.41
gav
o

13:08.87
Chibbs
Yeah.

13:10.00
Mad Dog
Right.

13:12.91
Chibbs
Yeah, the video definitely helped.

13:13.86
gav
It's not a... Yeah.

13:15.25
Chibbs
The video helps with the fact that that whole closed hi-hat chorus where no one, they want to sort of try and cut loose in the thing, but they can't because there's nothing to fucking get into.

13:24.15
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

13:27.00
Mad Dog
Yeah, exactly.

13:27.22
gav
To back it up with...

13:27.79
Chibbs
Yeah.

13:28.14
gav
Yeah, there's no big pumping fucking guitars in the chorus.

13:28.71
Chibbs
Yeah.

13:28.95
Christmas Penis man
And if you had, if the video clip was just some chick on a horse with an acoustic guitar or some shit, and there was no backing band in the visual, like you would never like put this in the world of punk.

13:29.83
Chibbs
yeah

13:37.25
Chibbs
yeah

13:40.01
Chibbs
yeah That's a different style of music.

13:43.45
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

13:43.87
Chibbs
Now, this is going to cut...

13:43.69
Christmas Penis man
This would be like a rock and country song.

13:46.30
gav
Yeah.

13:46.47
Chibbs
Yeah, that's right. This is a couple of facts here because we need to figure out if Gavin can beat her in a fight at the end of this episode.

13:47.51
gav
Yeah.

13:53.92
gav
At the same

13:54.47
Chibbs
Okay, so quick, quick fire facts. She was married to both Derek Wilby and Chad Kroger. That's the singer of Sum 41 and the singer and Nickelback.

14:00.12
gav
time. Oh.

14:02.85
Chibbs
Okay? Okay.

14:02.87
gav
at the same at the same time

14:03.26
Mad Dog
Wow.

14:06.25
Chibbs
ah

14:07.54
Bevo
Both Canadian.

14:07.62
Chibbs
She played, yeah, both Canadians. She played hockey during high school and was named MVP twice as a right winger in a boys league.

14:13.30
Bevo
Very Canadian. Whoa.

14:15.64
Mad Dog
Really? Damn!

14:19.67
gav
Oh, shit.

14:20.57
Mad Dog
This changes things.

14:22.29
Chibbs
And you know who fights? Fucking ice hockey players.

14:24.63
gav
Nobody brawls like ice hockey brawls, man.

14:25.97
Mad Dog
Gloves off.

14:27.23
Chibbs
No.

14:27.57
Mad Dog
Yeah.

14:27.71
gav
That is something else.

14:28.35
Bevo
Canadians.

14:28.78
Chibbs
And her big her big break came because she won a radio contest that allowed her to sing with Shania Twain in front of 20,000 people.

14:38.58
Bevo
Wow.

14:38.64
gav
Dope.

14:39.08
Mad Dog
Are you serious?

14:39.86
gav
So dope.

14:41.21
Mad Dog
I had no idea.

14:41.35
Chibbs
But again, this falls into like the pop punk.

14:42.20
Bevo
Changes a lot of things.

14:43.47
Chibbs
This is what she was doing. She was trying to win competitions to sing with Shania Twain.

14:44.92
Bevo
Country rock.

14:45.98
gav
Country rock.

14:47.13
Bevo
Yeah.

14:47.54
gav
That's it.

14:47.84
Chibbs
Yeah. It's produced produced by The Matrix, but you know I've already told you all about that sort of shit. There's a video, Gavin.

14:58.29
Chibbs
Let's get into the video.

14:58.39
gav
but Sorry, before before we jump into that, I think we're ripe to talk about the Avril Lavigne replacement conspiracy theory.

15:07.00
Chibbs
okay. Yeah, hit us. I really need a stinger for this. I'm just going to do...

15:10.94
Bevo
Beach Boys conspiracy.

15:12.13
gav
Ha ha ha ha!

15:12.99
Chibbs
Let me do this.

15:14.94
gav
ah yeah yeah

15:15.75
Chibbs
All right.

15:17.89
gav
Avril Lavigne replacement conspiracy theory.

15:18.22
Bevo
That'll do.

15:18.67
Chibbs
Conspiracy corner. Conspiracy corner.

15:21.24
gav
um

15:21.51
Chibbs
Let's go.

15:22.10
gav
So this this isn't even this isn't even some deep, like, you've got to take a real deep dive into the dark fucking blah, blah.

15:22.47
Christmas Penis man
You've tuned in to...

15:29.38
gav
There is a Wikipedia page for this theory. This is an actual honest...

15:32.91
Chibbs
It is not on the same website you can buy guns.

15:33.59
gav
honest to No, you don't even have to go onto the dark web to find this one.

15:38.69
Chibbs
You don't need Tor whatever it is to get into this.

15:39.77
gav
Though it's... though it's Though it's rampant there as well.

15:42.17
Bevo
on the light It's on the light web.

15:44.05
Chibbs
yeah

15:44.34
gav
i you I fired up my Onion browser and I found this. du No. Avril Lavigne Replacement Conspiracy Theory is the title of a Wikipedia page. So basically from like 20... think it was 20... Actually, I think it was even earlier. I think like 2005, rumors started that she killed herself after the Let Go album in 2002.

16:03.70
gav
They were like, the fame got to her. She killed herself. And then she was replaced by a body double.

16:09.09
Chibbs
killed to Killed a cash cow off for everyone.

16:11.06
gav
a body double named Melissa Vandella. And this theory gained traction in around 2011 and it became like quite a massive thing.

16:21.64
gav
And there's people that have compared like pre, you know, like 2002 footage and photos of Avril Lavigne to post 2002 footage and photos. they reckon there's like key differences.

16:31.62
Chibbs
She probably just got plastic surgery.

16:32.33
Bevo
Yeah. People have been doing that to Paul McCartney for 40, 50 years.

16:35.74
gav
Yeah, yeah.

16:36.10
Chibbs
Yeah. Yeah.

16:36.38
gav
So she's caught the Paul McCartney treatment, but it's like there's there's a real thing here where it's like she there's there's she's been asked about it numerous times. There's a lot of speculation that she isn't the real Avril Lavigne.

16:48.18
Bevo
I'd play into that so hard if I... Yeah,

16:49.72
Christmas Penis man
Yeah, there's a podcast.

16:50.10
gav
it I absolutely would too. She she apparently, like she she was in a photo shoot where she had the name Melissa written on her hand and stuff. Like there's all these weird little clues and stuff that people like point to as like evidence.

16:57.46
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

16:59.67
Bevo
yeah.

17:00.38
Christmas Penis man
did you Did you mention the podcast yet? Sorry, I wasn't listening to all of that because I'll message a second here.

17:05.72
gav
No, no, no. Sorry. ah fight fight Fire off of that podcast. Do you mean our podcast? We're on a podcast right now, Dan. Do you know this?

17:10.78
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

17:11.08
gav
or this isn't This isn't just a phone call.

17:12.12
Christmas Penis man
Yeah, sorry.

17:14.03
gav
Sorry, Dan.

17:14.68
Christmas Penis man
yeah sorry

17:16.56
gav
What's the podcast?

17:17.78
Bevo
called Melissa's Podcast.

17:17.94
gav
Go on.

17:18.14
Christmas Penis man
um

17:18.86
Bevo
No Everils allowed.

17:19.94
Chibbs
Thank you.

17:21.46
gav
um sorry dan what's the podcast going

17:22.17
Chibbs
hold

17:22.55
Christmas Penis man
there, there is a podcast that, um, a semi, uh, famous person did, a I think to, you know, bolster their own, um, famous, uh, levels, but like she did a podcast on, um,

17:38.69
Mad Dog
Mm-hmm.

17:39.13
Christmas Penis man
this whole topic and it goes for like, there's like 10 episodes and I'm pretty sure it's, yeah.

17:42.58
gav
Fuck.

17:43.42
Bevo
Ah, my fame levels. Bolstered.

17:46.04
gav
ah

17:47.61
Christmas Penis man
yeah she I'll find out what it's called, but it's something like where on earth is Avril Lavigne, San Diego or something like that.

17:55.74
gav
Oh my God.

17:56.24
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

17:58.52
Chibbs
okay.

17:59.35
gav
So, so look, so look, yeah yeah

17:59.80
Chibbs
I'll put a link. I'll put a link.

18:01.06
Bevo
melting quick who am i

18:02.42
Chibbs
I'll put a link to it.

18:02.52
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

18:04.76
Chibbs
so

18:05.53
Christmas Penis man
but

18:06.17
gav
what, what I think, what a

18:06.58
Christmas Penis man
Ah, my fame! It dwindles!

18:10.36
gav
hu

18:12.63
Chibbs
Must talk about Avril!

18:13.37
Bevo
quick don the line ah

18:13.30
Christmas Penis man
How can I boost?

18:15.79
Chibbs
Avril killed herself! Tell me

18:19.79
gav
Basically, what is it what this comes down to...

18:20.16
Christmas Penis man
Avril Lavigne is a double!

18:23.54
gav
No, no.

18:24.28
Chibbs
about the video, Gav.

18:28.28
gav
Fuck. A.K.A. Swap Wallaby.

18:34.95
gav
That's my...

18:35.80
Chibbs
tell me about the video gef

18:37.08
gav
I will in a moment. I just want to say if she was replaced with a body double, okay, and we're talking about if I could fight her or not, I don't want to be fighting the body double.

18:48.31
gav
I want to be fighting her corpse that's been dead for 23 years, okay?

18:50.70
Chibbs
you're fighting you You're fighting whoever recorded this song

18:54.17
gav
which Which means hopefully a corpse that's been in the ground for 23 years.

18:56.63
Chibbs
and this song. At this point, we have a time machine.

18:58.09
gav
Like...

18:59.95
Chibbs
We can send you back into a time where you pick a fight with Avril Lavigne at the time of recording this song.

19:04.38
gav
Oh, so she's got to be the alive version of the one who...

19:04.85
Mad Dog
yeah kind of fine

19:07.93
Chibbs
Yeah, she died after this.

19:08.98
gav
Fuck.

19:09.54
Christmas Penis man
You can't, yeah.

19:10.14
gav
Okay, no, okay, fair enough.

19:10.20
Christmas Penis man
You can't fight corpses.

19:10.78
Mad Dog
She is the exact person.

19:11.36
Chibbs
can't fight a corpse.

19:12.52
Bevo
What's a fame level?

19:12.52
Chibbs
You can't fight a corpse.

19:13.14
Mad Dog
Yeah.

19:14.00
Chibbs
Literally, literally, it will never come up that you will have to fight a corpse.

19:14.01
gav
um

19:17.02
gav
How about... Can I...

19:20.14
Christmas Penis man
He's stamping that table.

19:21.59
gav
Is fight the only option here?

19:22.14
Chibbs
It will never come up.

19:23.11
gav
Can I...

19:23.51
Chibbs
It will never come up.

19:25.02
gav
right, I'm sad about that.

19:25.79
Chibbs
Yeah, they had to be alive to record the song we're doing.

19:28.50
Mad Dog
Yeah.

19:28.64
gav
Fuck.

19:29.30
Mad Dog
And you fight them in that moment.

19:29.30
gav
Okay. Okay.

19:31.74
Mad Dog
Yeah.

19:31.81
Chibbs
Except Elvis in a little less conversation.

19:33.75
gav
Oh, true. We did do that. um Anyway, sorry.

19:35.58
Bevo
Yeah.

19:35.67
Chibbs
Yeah. You have to fight Junkie XL.

19:36.63
gav
Music video.

19:37.77
Chibbs
Yeah.

19:38.39
gav
Music video summary. ah The original Avril Lavigne causes significant property damage. That's all I can.

19:47.51
Chibbs
Okay, so, yeah, no no, she does.

19:47.80
Christmas Penis man
She does. Yeah. To the fucking wall.

19:50.11
Chibbs
I've got some notes here. I didn't get comments, but I made notes.

19:55.61
Chibbs
Okay, so, first of all, straight away, she skates up to all of her friends. They cut it just before she's about to eat fucking shit on that fucking skateboard.

20:01.75
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

20:06.52
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

20:07.35
Bevo
That was the best take they had.

20:08.09
Christmas Penis man
Yeah. Good call.

20:09.11
Chibbs
it's That's the best shot we got.

20:09.01
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

20:10.42
gav
yeah

20:12.15
Chibbs
you Watch it She's a about to fucking fly off the front of that thing. She doesn't know how to stop a skateboard.

20:15.90
gav
Yeah.

20:17.04
Chibbs
Okay. That's the first note I've got.

20:17.37
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

20:19.54
Chibbs
Second, they physically assault that hot dog just trying to do his job. Like they beat him to a pulp in the middle of a supermarket.

20:25.62
gav
Yeah.

20:27.83
Bevo
yeah

20:27.77
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

20:29.39
gav
It's rough.

20:29.75
Chibbs
And everyone's like, this is cool.

20:29.62
Christmas Penis man
That is assault. It's a assault.

20:32.22
gav
Yeah.

20:33.33
Chibbs
ah We're having a fun day out.

20:34.58
Bevo
Take that.

20:35.05
Chibbs
This guy just turned up to work and went, all right, all right, um Craig, you it's your day to fucking chuck the hot dog costume on.

20:42.04
Christmas Penis man
Craig!

20:42.55
gav
where we're We're the hot dogs, dude.

20:43.90
Mad Dog
Right. Right.

20:44.34
Chibbs
Yeah.

20:45.11
gav
As if his life isn't bad enough.

20:47.19
Chibbs
And he's like, fuck, that's the worst thing. He says on the roster, gets there, and then these dumb fucking cunt punk kids come, take his samples, throw it to him, and don't just go, that's fun.

20:51.77
Christmas Penis man
He gets

21:00.13
Chibbs
That was a shit thing we did, but we think it's funny. They tackle him and stomp him me out on the ground.

21:05.52
gav
bait the Beat the piss out of him.

21:07.19
Christmas Penis man
I like to think that like, he he's already, he's already up against it with his wife and he gets home and she's already giving him shit for the fact that he dressed up.

21:08.04
Chibbs
Yeah.

21:14.07
Bevo
That's that last straw.

21:14.68
gav
ah ah ah

21:16.17
Bevo
What

21:15.96
Christmas Penis man
She's like, and she's like drunk when he gets home. She's like, Hey, how's your day at work? Dressed as a hot dog. You fucking loser.

21:23.35
Chibbs
Stand up for yourselves, you fucking and loser.

21:23.26
gav
Did you, did you, did you stand up?

21:23.16
Christmas Penis man
And she says that to him and,

21:25.18
gav
Did you stand up for yourself?

21:26.70
Mad Dog
Yeah.

21:27.19
Christmas Penis man
But no, no, but she doesn't even – she doesn't – no, she doesn't – like she doesn't even know – she doesn't even know that like that happened.

21:27.73
Mad Dog
We'll stay together for the kids. Yeah.

21:30.07
Chibbs
He's a hot dog.

21:31.51
Bevo
The little hot dogs running around.

21:34.30
gav
I love, hang on.

21:37.02
Christmas Penis man
Like she's she's already just disappointed in the fact that that's what he does for a job.

21:41.98
Bevo
He's driven home in his hot dog car.

21:41.74
Christmas Penis man
She's like, how's your day dressing up as a whole hotel, you fucking loser? And she's like, yeah, you're a real great provider, aren't you, fucking piece of shit? And then she walks out and then he's sort of like – Okay, well, today was actually the worst day.

21:54.26
Bevo
tear. sheds a single tear

21:54.77
Christmas Penis man
It was hot dog. I got this yeah shit bitten out of me by Abel Levine. And that's just the cherry on top.

22:00.66
gav
Can I just say...

22:01.07
Chibbs
It's just he's looking he's looking he's looking for the key to his gun safe.

22:01.28
Christmas Penis man
That's his life for that day.

22:01.85
gav
Can I just say...

22:05.98
gav
out of Out of...

22:06.46
Mad Dog
What about the dunk?

22:07.10
gav
Just there just then, mad dog Mad Dog made a Tim Robbins joke.

22:07.45
Mad Dog
Yeah, I know. Yeah.

22:10.83
gav
All right.

22:11.26
Chibbs
Yeah, so good, so good.

22:11.77
Mad Dog
yeahnna

22:12.28
gav
with the With the...

22:12.60
Mad Dog
yeah

22:13.16
gav
We'll stay together for the kids.

22:14.52
Chibbs
Yeah.

22:15.03
gav
There is a scene in that show where he inhales a hot dog. He didn't reference that joke.

22:19.17
Chibbs
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

22:19.91
gav
There's another scene where he is dressed as a hot dog driving a hot dog car.

22:21.72
Christmas Penis man
This is a hot dog, yeah.

22:22.88
Chibbs
It's all Avril Lavigne-based comedy.

22:23.35
gav
He didn't he didn't reference that joke. He chose the joke where the wife is like her husband's been emasculated and she was going to stay together for the kids.

22:31.61
Mad Dog
Yeah, exactly. But I will not respect you.

22:35.26
gav
I will not respond.

22:36.02
Chibbs
yeah

22:38.01
Christmas Penis man
Yeah.

22:38.49
Chibbs
Yeah, the doggy, the double fucking flip slam dunk is pretty impressive.

22:38.43
gav
Anyway, I just...

22:42.68
Mad Dog
ah dunk.

22:44.41
gav
Yeah, that's that's wild shit.

22:44.60
Mad Dog
Yeah. Yeah.

22:47.06
Chibbs
Pretty impressive. If I saw someone do that at Rebel Sport, I'd be like, holy fucking shit, get them a contract.

22:48.14
gav
That's wild shit.

22:50.69
Bevo
Okay.

22:53.98
gav
Get them.

22:54.78
Chibbs
Right now. that cut that That bitch just did two somersaults and slam dunked. Get her in the end fucking end the WNBL right now.

23:02.91
gav
Ha ha ha ha ha.

23:08.34
Chibbs
Yeah.

23:08.40
Christmas Penis man
Get in the bloody NBL.

23:08.95
Mad Dog
Like it was nothing.

23:09.18
Christmas Penis man
We bloody need her at the Hawks.

23:09.53
gav
Yeah, so if anyone's playing along at home, we're talking like 1 minute 25 onwards, basically.

23:10.38
Christmas Penis man
I'll tell you that much.

23:11.22
Chibbs
Yeah.

23:13.09
gav
1 minute 25 through 1 minute 30.

23:13.08
Christmas Penis man
don't know.

23:14.27
gav
Ooh, recent.

23:15.58
Chibbs
Yeah.

23:15.80
Bevo
I got one YouTube comment i want to read here.

23:15.77
gav
one minute twenty five three one minute thirty

23:15.98
Chibbs
like YouTube comment, go.

23:18.58
Bevo
ah This is at Angela Rivera dash Y nine G 21 hours ago. Very, very fresh. um Every word is capitalized at the start.

23:25.69
gav
rason

23:28.58
Bevo
So it would have taken her a little bit of time to write this.

23:31.16
Mad Dog
Yes.

23:31.18
Bevo
Me Avril is over the top too famous to be famous for that much people. As you can see, this is the problem. Just scissors emoji, delete from people's minds, delete all the official videos.

23:42.06
Bevo
They suck.

23:48.12
gav
Good God.

23:49.69
Mad Dog
twenty less than Less than a day ago, someone wrote that.

23:53.61
Chibbs
Holy shit.

23:53.75
gav
can i Can I just hit you with four quick ones in a row? Just because I was trying to...

23:56.66
Chibbs
Jesus Christ.

23:57.69
gav
I was um i was trying to scroll to find...

23:58.90
Chibbs
This is the longest episode we've ever done other than the wrapped episode.

24:00.86
gav
i was true i was trying to find I was trying to find a good comment and I'm not kidding.

24:01.21
Christmas Penis man
I was going to say, how long is going for?

24:01.64
Mad Dog
that.

24:05.97
gav
Every single joke is the exact same joke. I'm going to read four in a row real quick. What are you listening to? It's complicated. What's your favorite song? Well, it's kind of complicated. What's your favorite song?

24:16.28
gav
It's complicated. So what song are you listening to?

24:18.38
Bevo
Who's on first?

24:18.73
gav
It's complicated.

24:20.02
Christmas Penis man
ah

24:20.86
gav
Every single person in this comment section is just making the same fucking joke. It's not a very good joke either.

24:27.77
Bevo
Like you were getting drowned out and shit then.

24:30.97
Chibbs
um

24:31.26
Mad Dog
I love ah love YouTube commentators.

24:31.32
Christmas Penis man
um um

24:31.59
Bevo
right. Let's blow this pop stand.

24:34.04
Chibbs
Yeah, alright, come on Bevo, let's play this one.

24:34.03
gav
Let's blow.

24:34.34
Mad Dog
Yeah.

24:38.42
Chibbs
Oh, fuck.

24:38.71
Christmas Penis man
I need another beer.

24:40.34
gav
Oh, fuck.

24:41.02
Christmas Penis man
I'll be back.

24:41.48
Bevo
right.

24:41.70
Christmas Penis man
I'm going to get a beer.

24:43.42
gav
Get a beer. Get a beer. Oh, I love that we're on the i love the wayre already on the double tap of the...

24:45.58
Bevo
All right.

24:47.55
Chibbs
Yeah, we're on the double fucking hour.

24:48.74
Christmas Penis man
Go get a beer game.

24:51.10
gav
i

24:51.42
Chibbs
Yeah, alright.

24:51.67
Bevo
This is ah just before she started getting on those um when we were young, you know, that when we were young sets, but um I'm not going to do one of those.

24:54.52
Chibbs
Before she died.

24:54.71
Christmas Penis man
Second last.

24:56.11
Chibbs
who

24:56.51
gav
Nosebees.

24:59.51
Chibbs
Yeah, okay. Yeah, she's got to come back.

25:00.82
Bevo
This is before then. So this is a, this is at the hard rock live Ottawa in Canada, greatest hits tour, 15 songs. The last three are encore. So where would you play complicated in your 15 song set?

25:19.52
Chibbs
She's got three encores?

25:21.29
Bevo
Yeah.

25:21.59
gav
Three encores songs.

25:21.88
Bevo
Three songs in one encore. Yeah.

25:24.54
Chibbs
Yeah. ah So she's going to do it.

25:25.85
gav
All three encores, one song each.

25:27.93
Chibbs
Yeah, yeah.

25:28.11
Bevo
Some have three encores.

25:28.63
gav
fuck ah

25:29.75
Bevo
It comes off, gets on, comes off, gets on.

25:31.93
gav
ah

25:33.05
Bevo
All right. All right. er

25:35.29
gav
oh fuck

25:35.70
Chibbs
ah 13th.

25:39.81
Bevo
Mad dog.

25:42.60
Mad Dog
I knew

25:45.19
Bevo
Gavin.

25:45.77
gav
You've gone the same as... Dan Southern said second last before he ran out of the room, which is 14th.

25:49.05
Bevo
Oh, did he? Okay. Right.

25:49.98
gav
Yeah. So you can both take a stab at it. That's fine. I'm going to first.

25:52.50
Chibbs
Yeah, that's fine.

25:52.98
gav
Just first, just to send it.

25:53.58
Chibbs
That's fine.

25:55.42
Bevo
No, she plays third.

25:57.58
gav
Ugh, such a shit number.

25:58.07
Mad Dog
knew it would be shit.

25:58.34
Bevo
opens with thumb

25:59.02
gav
Such a shit number.

26:00.04
Bevo
Opens with Girlfriend.

26:02.36
Chibbs
ah Yeah,

26:04.50
gav
was...

26:05.85
Bevo
Last song is I'm With You, which is the one you mentioned off mic before, Kevin.

26:09.78
gav
Yeah, that's a good fucking song, man. So I'd played this song to to to refresh my memory and then I'm With You came on afterwards and I just like, it's a damn coconut.

26:24.83
gav
It's a good fucking song, man.

26:25.21
Chibbs
yeah that's right.

26:26.37
gav
That belts.

26:27.80
Chibbs
It is a song.

26:27.96
Bevo
Another non-pop punk song.

26:29.78
Chibbs
it's definitely not pop punk.

26:29.66
gav
Yeah, it's not pop punk at all.

26:30.87
Bevo
Yeah, but she sang it in ah in ah the bowl of a skate ramp.

26:30.90
gav
I think by that point she'd cemented the image and could, yeah.

26:33.74
Bevo
It's

26:34.56
gav
I mean, she could do what she wanted after that, I think.

26:37.42
Bevo
all image.

26:38.61
Chibbs
Fair enough.

26:43.96
Chibbs
ah The song held the top spot on the Billboard Adult Top 40 charts for 16 weeks in a row.

26:51.04
Mad Dog
Are you kidding me?

26:52.05
gav
16.

26:52.25
Chibbs
I'm reached number two spot on the Hot 100 breaking record previously held by Natalie Imbruglia's Torn.

26:52.14
gav
That's a good fucking run, man.

27:00.51
gav
Oh, fuck.

27:01.53
Bevo
know, i was thinking like there's heaps of lists on Spotify and stuff. It's like the billboard top 100 number ones from every year, blah, blah, blah. I wonder if there's any for just all the number twos.

27:07.58
Chibbs
yes

27:09.79
Bevo
Cause I still reckon that would be a fucking cracking list.

27:10.81
Chibbs
yeah It'd be great.

27:11.82
gav
Oh, that's a good point.

27:12.48
Chibbs
Yeah, of course it would.

27:13.05
gav
Good point.

27:14.10
Chibbs
Yeah, make it.

27:15.18
Bevo
Heaps of good songs. Never made number one.

27:17.34
Chibbs
Yeah, heaps.

27:17.85
Christmas Penis man
Thank

27:18.50
Mad Dog
Yep.

27:18.74
Chibbs
Internationally, the song topped the charts in Australia, Ireland, New Zealand, Norway. song peaked in the top five in 20 other countries and was nominated for two Grammy Awards, Song of the Year and Best Female Pop Vocal Performance.

27:30.78
Chibbs
Now!

27:30.98
Mad Dog
Ugh.

27:32.73
Chibbs
ah Uh...

27:49.91
gav
Cut your bait. Cut your bait.

27:56.03
Chibbs
Gavin, could you beat Avril Lavigne in what year was it?

27:56.73
gav
So look.

28:01.06
Chibbs
2002 in a fight.

28:02.20
Mad Dog
2002. Yeah. You're you

28:02.63
gav
2002. O2 for this one.

28:04.02
Chibbs
in a fight

28:06.30
gav
So i we didn't specify. When we go back to O2, I don't go back to my body O2, do i

28:14.49
Christmas Penis man
I wanted to find that out.

28:15.03
Bevo
No, no, because if you fought Bob Dylan in 1965, you wouldn't

28:15.12
Chibbs
Now, you now, you have a DeLorean.

28:15.64
gav
yeah yeah

28:15.57
Christmas Penis man
Is it, is it human O2?

28:16.14
Mad Dog
now. Yeah.

28:18.65
Chibbs
Yeah, you have a DeLorean. 2026 caverns.

28:20.32
Mad Dog
you're you now

28:21.33
Chibbs
It's what Wallaby gets in the DeLorean, goes back to 2002, goes, Oi, Avril.

28:21.30
gav
Okay, okay. I mean, now...

28:22.58
Mad Dog
ay

28:25.53
gav
look ah Look, I'm going to say, after hearing that shit about the about the hockey, that that the that she was um you know we're smoking people in a boys' ice hockey league, that's got me a bit worried.

28:27.07
Chibbs
Yeah.

28:37.53
Chibbs
Yeah.

28:39.77
Mad Dog
Smoke.

28:39.67
gav
I still reckon just just purely pound for pound because I got a couple.

28:40.06
Mad Dog
oak

28:43.96
gav
I reckon I'm still going to take it, but it's going to be on points. i don't think um I reckon she's going the distance. I reckon it's going to be a five-round slugfest.

28:51.98
Chibbs
It's like the fucking Peter Griffin chicken fight.

28:53.57
gav
She's going to be spitting out teeth and I'm going to be like bleeding out of every orifice and we'll just like hug it out when the bell dings and and and and and raise the fist.

28:55.38
Chibbs
Points.

29:01.68
Bevo
Ah, that's nice. That's good.

29:04.07
gav
I reckon i might i might still I might still eke it out on points.

29:05.00
Bevo
Evenly matched.

29:07.07
gav
I thought I was a shoo-in. I reckon shit'd ah reckon I'd absolutely be feeling this for weeks.

29:08.39
Chibbs
All right,

29:09.04
Bevo
All

29:13.15
Chibbs
fair enough.

29:13.38
Bevo
right.

29:14.12
gav
A

29:16.80
Bevo
Ding it out as tie, as a draw.

29:18.42
Chibbs
ya

29:19.36
gav
draw. A draw.

29:26.26
Mad Dog
points 100 million

29:29.27
Chibbs
All right, it's fucking long episode,

29:31.26
Bevo
Yeah. Have we dropped the net worth or we're just not doing that or just tell us, just tell us.

29:31.54
gav
Jesus, yeah. Right. Oh, net worth. Net worth?

29:38.59
gav
No.

29:38.79
Chibbs
I don't even fucking think, I think I forgot to look it up

29:39.74
Bevo
and Okay. Nevermind.

29:41.37
gav
All right. Fair enough.

29:41.90
Chibbs
i'll do I'll do it real quick right now.

29:42.83
gav
she's She's worth cash. She's worth cash. Okay. ah Fucking Dan Southern. Dan Southern.

29:48.89
Chibbs
Yeah, tell me what what you think it's worth.

29:49.02
Christmas Penis man
Zero.

29:51.51
gav
Zero dollars?

29:51.93
Bevo
You love it.

29:52.35
Christmas Penis man
Oh, I thought we were rating it.

29:54.15
Bevo
No, no, no, no, no

29:54.63
gav
Avril.

29:55.01
Christmas Penis man
$40 million.

29:56.97
gav
Avril, not me.

29:58.33
Bevo
i want to get home

30:00.70
Chibbs
Yeah, yeah,

30:00.60
gav
No, fuck off, Bevo.

30:01.08
Christmas Penis man
ah forty million dollars

30:01.52
gav
We can do it. 40 million is good. That's good.

30:06.14
Chibbs
yeah. Yeah, okay.

30:06.30
gav
Mad Dog.

30:07.69
Mad Dog
I think she might have a cent. 100 million.

30:10.15
gav
All right. All right.

30:11.06
Chibbs
Yeah, she could have said it.

30:11.27
gav
If she's got a cent, what's your guess?

30:12.17
Chibbs
Yeah, that's true.

30:13.21
Mad Dog
100 million.

30:14.35
gav
hunter 100? Bevo.

30:16.94
Bevo
$45 million. All right.

30:19.37
gav
I'm going to split the difference. I'm going 60. I'm going 60.

30:21.91
Chibbs
Yeah, it is fucking...

30:22.13
gav
What we got?

30:23.15
Chibbs
It's 60 fucking million dollars. LAUGHTER

30:24.44
gav
Fuck yes, cunt.

30:26.19
Christmas Penis man
Fuck.

30:26.78
Chibbs
you

30:27.00
gav
Fuck yes.

30:27.19
Bevo
I

30:27.77
gav
Fuck. You know, nothing but network.

30:29.49
Christmas Penis man
Fuck!

30:32.94
gav
You know how I know during during the whole fight, while I was fighting, every time we punched, the coins were spilling out of her pockets.

30:37.99
Bevo
should tell you. thought you saw it in there, Chuck.

30:40.96
Chibbs
Probably it's like Scrooge.

30:42.80
gav
It's like sorting the hedge. I was collecting the coin.

30:44.16
Chibbs
Scronic.

30:44.41
Mad Dog
yeah

30:45.08
gav
that's that's how i got that's

30:47.06
Mad Dog
and

30:47.05
gav
That's how I got the dollar figure exact. I'd picked up all of her loot.

30:49.61
Bevo
Are counting?

30:49.46
Christmas Penis man
Robotnik.

30:50.78
Bevo
He's like a stab.

30:51.58
Mad Dog
This guy's paying off.

30:53.21
Bevo
and

30:56.02
Christmas Penis man
ah

30:56.18
gav
Jesus. This episode's gotten a bit loose to us the end here, hasn't it?

30:57.91
Bevo
Oh, boy. Oh, fuck. I hope I get to fight David Bowie in the next episode.

31:01.69
gav
Oh, we do get...

31:02.15
Christmas Penis man
you're like

31:03.11
gav
Oh, wait, one of us does. fuck Oh, my God, is that a fucking triple tap?

31:05.82
Chibbs
Okay, all right, all right.

31:06.73
Bevo
The thin white duke. Put up your thin white dukes.

31:09.10
Chibbs
Oh, shut up, shut up.

31:09.66
Christmas Penis man
those coins are spilling out of her because she's either robotnik or she's 60 million dollar error

31:10.52
Chibbs
Okay, what do you give this out?

31:18.26
Chibbs
We...

31:18.23
gav
A million dollar air.

31:20.74
Chibbs
We'll break this out of um like spat out teeth after Gavin's fight.

31:26.02
Mad Dog
Complications?

31:26.90
gav
for that How many teeth did you spit out while fighting Gavin?

31:28.56
Bevo
It's bad. It's bad.

31:29.44
Chibbs
Gavin's fight. Ten is you'll get some sort of gum infection and die, i imagine.

31:36.25
Bevo
It's bad.

31:37.05
Chibbs
and And one is it's one tooth and you just put a gold one and then you're even more of a badass.

31:37.69
Christmas Penis man
and

31:40.92
gav
It was just the the tooth fairy brings you a gold coin for it and youre good to go.

31:42.73
Chibbs
pi Yeah. What do you giving out of ten, doggy?

31:48.12
Mad Dog
um Yeah, this song burns my piss. I fucking...

31:54.39
Chibbs
I didn't sting it for that. Oh.

31:59.51
Christmas Penis man
Oh, man.

32:00.76
Mad Dog
Yeah, as said, I

32:01.08
Bevo
I can get some cranberry juice for that one.

32:01.58
Christmas Penis man
That's really good.

32:02.02
gav
Oh, fuck. Oh, I so nearly spat my beer on that. That was good. That was good.

32:06.62
Christmas Penis man
That should almost be what 10 is. Oh, no. let's Let's make it like eight. Eight or nine is burns my piss.

32:12.98
gav
Burning piss. Wait, let's see what he scores it.

32:15.93
Mad Dog
Well, you're you're right in the wheelhouse there because it is a nine.

32:15.73
Christmas Penis man
I suppose, yeah.

32:19.66
gav
Oh, nine is burning your piss.

32:19.90
Chibbs
oh

32:19.99
Mad Dog
um

32:20.07
Christmas Penis man
Mm. No one burns your piss.

32:21.72
Mad Dog
Yeah, fucking...

32:21.98
Chibbs
Yeah, your piss is on fire.

32:21.97
gav
That's good. Yeah, you're burning.

32:24.15
Mad Dog
at A ten is like the piss has been evaporated through that much...

32:28.09
gav
A 10 has its own stinger though. A 10 has its own stinger.

32:29.91
Mad Dog
Yeah.

32:30.73
gav
Nine burns your piss.

32:30.94
Mad Dog
um It burns me pissed because it's just shit. Like, shit.

32:38.26
Chibbs
Okay.

32:38.87
Mad Dog
So I don't like it.

32:39.06
Chibbs
Great.

32:40.46
Mad Dog
Yeah.

32:40.65
Chibbs
Bevo?

32:40.53
Christmas Penis man
Mm-mm.

32:40.89
Chibbs
Oh,

32:42.31
Bevo
Uh, I think it's all right. I just, it's something I didn't talk about in the podcast, but I did talk about before is you can hear the melody, like auto tune.

32:50.36
Chibbs
oh yeah, it's bad.

32:50.81
Bevo
And it's not like, it's not an effect like it is with share. It's like fixing the bad pitch and that bothers me, but otherwise I think the song is fine. So I'm going to give it three out of 10.

32:59.92
Chibbs
Jesus Christ, Gavin.

33:01.40
gav
I fucking love this song, man. It's a one. It's an easy one for me. I fucking love this shit.

33:05.98
Chibbs
Jesus fucking Christ.

33:07.03
gav
yeah

33:08.36
Chibbs
Christmas penis, man. What are you giving?

33:12.18
Mad Dog
Christmas.

33:12.57
Christmas Penis man
If my piss was burning, if it was burning, this would, uh, what did, what?

33:20.25
gav
Put it out. it would It would mellow.

33:21.40
Christmas Penis man
Yeah. Put it out.

33:22.36
gav
It would quell. It would quell the burn.

33:23.98
Mad Dog
Extinguish.

33:24.07
Christmas Penis man
Quill extinguish is the word.

33:25.43
Mad Dog
Yeah.

33:26.42
Bevo
Icy hot, like deep heat.

33:27.06
Christmas Penis man
This would extinguish my burning. This song extinguishes my burning piss. I give it a one.

33:34.10
gav
Fuck yeah, son.

33:34.33
Mad Dog
ah

33:34.52
Chibbs
One. Wow. Okay. um I'm right up there with Doggy. My piss is fucking burning up. I also give it a nine.

33:41.73
Bevo
Bubbling.

33:43.32
Chibbs
Yeah.

33:43.35
Mad Dog
yes

33:44.58
Chibbs
I ah fucking hate.

33:45.85
Bevo
Whistling like a like a kettle.

33:46.88
Chibbs
I hate this song. I hated it at the time.

33:48.23
gav
Whistling like a kettle when you piss.

33:48.47
Christmas Penis man
i go

33:49.97
Chibbs
It's like, what i I was around to know that no effects fucking existed and that this was not punk and you can not fucking con fool me, you corporate fucks.

33:56.73
Mad Dog
egg

33:57.53
Bevo
Yeah, I get that. I feel that.

33:58.97
Mad Dog
ex And that's exactly why i've always held in that opinion.

34:02.42
Chibbs
yeah Don't treat me like i'm a fucking idiot, you pieces of shit.

34:02.50
Bevo
Yeah.

34:03.67
Mad Dog
and

34:06.26
Bevo
You record-buying public?

34:07.13
Chibbs
Yeah.

34:07.56
Bevo
Yeah.

34:07.96
Chibbs
Yeah.

34:08.06
Christmas Penis man
I was listening to this and no effects though. I was like, i like all of it.

34:11.64
gav
ah

34:12.78
Christmas Penis man
I like all the spectrum.

34:15.59
Chibbs
Nah.

34:15.58
gav
and masturbating and masturbating a lot

34:15.83
Mad Dog
Yeah.

34:17.59
Chibbs
Don't tell me this is punk. It's obviously not. Yeah.

34:20.22
Mad Dog
Yeah.

34:20.63
Chibbs
Fuck you. Fuck!

34:21.24
Christmas Penis man
um

34:21.63
Chibbs
you

34:21.82
Christmas Penis man
So can number two, can, can, sorry, can one be it extinguishes your piss and nine be it burns my piss?

34:22.90
Chibbs
yeah

34:30.35
Mad Dog
It's burning burning up on entry into the atmosphere.

34:30.59
Chibbs
burns my piss. Yeah, nine is now a burning piss.

34:32.50
gav
I feel like Nine is definitely burning to piss I don't think we're going to give one a extinguishing piss label that's that's that's a lot that's a lot

34:33.70
Chibbs
A burning stream of piss.

34:39.20
Chibbs
Yeah.

34:41.02
Christmas Penis man
That's, it is a lot.

34:42.09
Bevo
I'm going to keep my options open.

34:41.99
Christmas Penis man
You're right, but I'm still going to say it.

34:44.44
gav
I appreciate that.

34:45.43
Bevo
Anyway, put up your jukes for next week.

34:45.57
Mad Dog
It's a real piss burner, this one. All

34:47.45
gav
Anyway, welcome to the fucking, welcome to the new format.

34:48.79
Bevo
Yeah, the fight club.

34:52.34
gav
Fight Club.

34:52.73
Chibbs
Yeah, fuck off.

34:52.82
Bevo
much that's Someone check if that's taken.

34:53.48
Chibbs
Come on,

34:53.77
gav
It's just, it's we're going to sleep.

34:55.15
Chibbs
Yeah, you...

34:56.38
gav
but Chuck Palahniuk like, fucking what's up?

34:58.15
Chibbs
Yeah, you all get that. All right. Thanks, fellas. Everybody else, go and piss yourself.

35:01.35
Mad Dog
right.

35:02.03
gav
Going.

35:03.63
Christmas Penis man
Go and extinguish my piss.

35:04.69
gav
Yeah, fucked.

35:05.05
Chibbs
Burn your piss.

35:07.06
Mad Dog
but

35:07.39
Chibbs
Get your dick.

35:08.38
gav
ah

35:08.63
Bevo
first rule of this club is tell every everyone.

35:09.58
Christmas Penis man
Go and extinguish my piss.

35:14.48
Christmas Penis man
Go and extinguish my piss, baby.

35:16.74
gav
God bless you, my God.

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