Kung Fu Fighting – This Song Makes No Sense

Everybody was kung fu fighting… apparently.

This week on 1001 Songs That Make You Want To Die, we break down the 1974 global hit Kung Fu Fighting by Carl Douglas — a song that somehow took over the world after being thrown together in about ten minutes.

We get into:

•  How this became one of the best-selling singles of all time 
•  The bizarre story behind its recording 
•  Lyrics that… really haven’t aged well 
•  And why does everyone in this song seem to be involved in one massive kung fu brawl 

Plus, we settle the important question:
 Could you actually survive a fight against Carl Douglas in his prime?

Short answer… probably not.

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Transcript

00:43.99
Chibbs
This is 1001 Songs That Make You Want to Die. The podcast we talk about songs so bad, it makes you want to have a professional medieval jouster ram your balls with their jousting stick.

00:55.77
gav
ah That's hot.

00:58.58
Chibbs
Yeah.

00:59.86
gav
A little bit of cmet

01:10.39
gav
of CBT.

01:11.06
Bevo
It's quite the...

01:11.29
Mad Dog
Ha ha!

01:11.09
gav
Fucking hell.

01:11.38
Chibbs
We are doing a song that came out in 1974. It was a massive hit for the one and only Carl Douglas from the album Kung Fu Fighting and Other Great Love Songs. We're discussing Kung Fu Fighting!

01:52.58
Chibbs
Now, before we get into it, make sure you're following us on all the social medias, Instagram, Facebook, threads.

01:59.43
Bevo
Tick tock.

01:59.34
Chibbs
What are the other ones?

02:00.40
gav
TikTok.

02:00.45
Chibbs
TikTok. It's 1001 Songs podcast, our YouTube channel. You should be on there. You should subscribe. You get all the shorts. You get all the clips. You get the full episodes, video.

02:12.94
Chibbs
You put it on your big screen TV in your room.

02:13.71
gav
We'll sew you we'll sew use shorts. I think that's what we're doing. and we Are we giving away shorts?

02:17.15
Chibbs
Yeah.

02:18.36
Bevo
yes

02:18.47
gav
We're going to sew you some shorts and then only on YouTube. Get on there.

02:24.25
Chibbs
Act acts like you're part of the podcast.

02:24.79
Bevo
You could beat us in a fight.

02:26.00
Chibbs
great you can be

02:26.64
Bevo
Let's do that. Could you beat us in a fight?

02:29.34
Mad Dog
Oh, that's good.

02:29.46
gav
Could you beat us?

02:30.35
Bevo
subscribing.

02:30.22
Chibbs
Sure, let's do that.

02:31.58
gav
Yeah.

02:37.66
Chibbs
but Let's spin this fight wheel, fellas. Who's going to fight Carl Douglas?

02:42.04
Bevo
the Kung fu fight.

02:42.62
Mad Dog
Gee, yeah, this is a massive...

02:42.52
gav
ah

02:43.34
Chibbs
Spinning, spinning, spinning, spinning.

02:45.11
Mad Dog
He obviously knows Kung Fu.

02:45.81
Chibbs
Mad Dog.

02:46.49
gav
I don't...

02:46.53
Chibbs
Mad Dog is fighting Carl Douglas.

02:47.54
gav
Yes!

02:48.01
Mad Dog
Jesus.

02:48.42
gav
Yes!

02:49.46
Bevo
Hit the gong.

02:50.20
gav
I really did want to hit this one.

02:51.16
Mad Dog
He knows Kung Fu.

02:50.97
Chibbs
He has gone back in his time machine to 1974.

02:53.57
Mad Dog
Right.

02:54.25
Chibbs
He is hopping out of the DeLorean. There's Kyle Douglas, all sweaty and fired up from his Kung Fu practice.

02:57.45
gav
Ha ha ha.

03:01.72
Bevo
Keeping in mind that that Mad Dog is currently between The right one will come along.

03:01.59
Chibbs
And he starts to fight Mad Dog.

03:01.82
Mad Dog
fire up Yeah.

03:05.84
gav
Whoa.

03:07.74
Mad Dog
why happenst I'm um still looking for kind of my my life sensei. It's, um yeah, between senseis right now.

03:16.28
Chibbs
it says he It says here, Doggy, that carle Carl Douglas does have a lean but athletic build. He's quick rather than powerful. Medium cardio.

03:25.53
Mad Dog
Okay. All right.

03:27.00
Chibbs
Legit kung fu practitioner, though.

03:29.69
Mad Dog
Jesus.

03:29.62
gav
war

03:29.85
Bevo
Yeah, you wouldn't sing about this. It's a little bit kung fu-y.

03:31.88
Mad Dog
All right.

03:33.03
Chibbs
Yeah.

03:34.16
Mad Dog
Look, I'm not confident in this.

03:34.00
Chibbs
Yeah.

03:34.77
gav
Yeah,

03:34.85
Chibbs
Yeah.

03:37.86
Mad Dog
I'm going to

03:41.64
Mad Dog
flip a coin. But, yeah, look, ah I'll just be humble and say, no, maybe Carl's got my got my number on this.

03:48.72
Bevo
It's got a fly kicking you straight to the jaw.

03:48.75
Mad Dog
Just only because of the kung fu

03:51.62
Bevo
Yeah. Yeah.

03:52.63
Mad Dog
Yeah. Like, I don't know any kung fu. So he's got the edge.

03:56.54
gav
yeah it's tough when you don't know Kung Fu.

03:59.42
Mad Dog
Yeah.

03:59.34
Chibbs
I mean, you might know Kung Fu by the time we finish this. This entire song might be instruct instructional Kung Fu methods.

04:06.42
Bevo
Well, he does say that everybody was Kung Fu fighting.

04:06.55
Mad Dog
I hope so.

04:06.78
gav
If he's teaching you, then...

04:08.82
Bevo
So that includes you. So you're in there too.

04:10.87
Mad Dog
Well, I am part of everyone. Yeah.

04:13.14
Bevo
Yeah.

04:13.41
Mad Dog
So, yep.

04:14.58
Bevo
Well, were you in 1973 though?

04:14.55
gav
ah

04:14.60
Chibbs
Okay, well, we will find that out later.

04:15.23
Mad Dog
No.

04:15.95
Bevo
not. probably not

04:18.14
Mad Dog
aye

04:23.81
Chibbs
Let's get into the lyrics. The intro goes... Oh ho ho ho, oh ho ho ho, oh ho ho ho, oh ho ho ho.

04:31.10
gav
ah

04:34.39
Chibbs
It's a Christmas song.

04:35.61
Bevo
Classic Sator line.

04:36.12
gav
ah

04:37.14
Chibbs
Classic Kung fu Santa.

04:37.91
Mad Dog
think oh ho

04:40.76
Chibbs
Yeah, you've heard a Kung Fu Panda.

04:40.80
gav
Kung

04:43.80
gav
kung Fu Santa sounds like... Can I fucking option that? That sounds like a great name for a song. I'm going to have to get on that.

04:48.54
Chibbs
As if you couldn't get that made on a fucking Tubi movie. Get some cartel to funnel their money through my through my production of Kung Fu Santa.

04:52.50
Bevo
say that.

04:57.81
Chibbs
Just be like, look, I'm going to need $100,000 to make Kung Fu Santas.

04:58.04
Mad Dog
Santa.

04:58.20
gav
ah Nice.

05:03.70
Chibbs
Yeah.

05:05.10
gav
shit.

05:05.23
Chibbs
Yeah.

05:06.53
Bevo
I'd watch it.

05:06.58
gav
ah

05:08.74
Chibbs
I had watch it.

05:08.73
gav
shit

05:10.78
Chibbs
Okay, the chorus goes...

05:11.19
gav
I watched um what did i watch i watched violent Violent Night last year.

05:11.92
Chibbs
every

05:14.95
gav
it's like ah It was like a Santa gets embroiled in some sort of kidnapping scheme and just fucking mercs a bunch of guys. It was sick. Check it out. next Next Christmas, next holiday season, put on Violent Night.

05:28.18
gav
Watch Santa.

05:28.41
Chibbs
That Tim Allen?

05:30.62
Bevo
No, that's a Santa Claus.

05:30.89
gav
No. It was that cunt that just broke up with Lily...

05:34.50
Bevo
That's home improvement.

05:34.81
Chibbs
and that was that that was actually No, that was Tim Allen's real life story from the early nineties where he got caught up in a coke bad Coke deal and went to jail.

05:38.62
Bevo
well

05:40.06
Mad Dog
but

05:40.98
gav
ha ah ah No, no, no. It was um it was the it was the cop from um ah Stranger Things.

05:48.06
Bevo
That was Jungle 2 Jungle.

05:48.62
gav
oh Bevor, you're up to date with the zeitgeist. Who just broke up with Lily Allen? What's that guy's name?

05:55.48
Chibbs
at David Harbour.

05:56.12
Bevo
Oh, yeah, that's him.

05:57.14
gav
and There you go.

05:58.10
Bevo
Yeah, you got it.

05:58.62
gav
Yeah, yeah.

05:59.31
Chibbs
there Yeah, cool

05:59.90
Bevo
Hop from Stranger Things.

05:59.78
gav
Snaked it. ah So, he yeah, yeah. He's the Santa Claus that goes around and just fucking whacks a bunch of cunts in the head with a hammer. It's dope.

06:08.90
Bevo
right.

06:10.78
gav
Anyway.

06:11.12
Chibbs
there you go. Cool. The chorus goes, everybody was kung fu fighting. Those cats were fast as lightning. In fact, it was a little bit frightening, but they fought with expert timing.

06:25.66
Bevo
First of all, yeah, I always thought it was kicks, which makes heaps more sense.

06:25.51
Chibbs
Cats?

06:29.92
Bevo
There's really fast kicks going on

06:30.78
gav
ha

06:32.34
Chibbs
Yeah.

06:32.75
Bevo
There's cats.

06:34.72
Chibbs
Cats are quick.

06:34.74
gav
right I don't know if I've just always missed...

06:34.97
Bevo
it They are. They fucking zip around. don't

06:38.07
gav
I always thought it was those guys were fast. I think I just misheard it once and always just thought it said those guys were fast as lightning.

06:40.96
Bevo
know.

06:44.84
Bevo
There's cats. with

06:46.10
gav
Yeah.

06:46.36
Chibbs
um Ever tried to catch a cat?

06:48.92
gav
ah

06:49.67
Bevo
They're pretty fun.

06:50.01
Mad Dog
Hard, hard to do.

06:52.15
Bevo
Yeah, not not quite as fast as lightning, but it might as well be.

06:52.41
Chibbs
Yeah.

06:53.26
gav
It's either...

06:53.33
Chibbs
They want to be caught.

06:54.71
gav
It depends though. It depends if it's if it's a cat that doesn't want to be caught. Damn near impossible. If it's a cat just chilling and it' you know in a little ray of sunshine in the living room, you're probably in with a shot.

07:05.86
Chibbs
Maybe, but if they don't want to be caught, it ah definitely fastest lightning and also a little bit frightening.

07:11.90
gav
Oh shit, yeah.

07:12.25
Bevo
Yeah, that's true. Cats are terrifying. I like the line...

07:14.94
gav
Yeah, big time.

07:15.29
Chibbs
Yeah.

07:15.76
Mad Dog
They are.

07:16.54
Bevo
i like the line the couplet really. In fact, it was a little bit frightening, but they fought with expert timing as if he's like terrified, but also appreciating the art a little bit.

07:25.52
gav
Respect that.

07:26.29
Chibbs
Impressed.

07:26.80
gav
Yeah, absolutely.

07:27.16
Bevo
blood Like, no yeah,

07:29.53
Chibbs
Just that guy's bone just snapped in half, but perfect grip.

07:33.85
gav
ah

07:34.84
Chibbs
yeah

07:35.54
Bevo
um'm I'm about to book it, but I'll just watch this, this move here.

07:38.33
gav
ah Just a little bit longer.

07:38.97
Bevo
Yeah.

07:40.76
Chibbs
more Very impressive. It was written by ka yeah it's written by Carl Douglas and Bidu Appiah, who also produced the song.

07:42.62
gav
His timing is immaculate.

07:50.33
Chibbs
um They had three hours to record what was the A-side of this single. It wasn't Kung Fu Fighting. They used two hours and 50 minutes of that session to do the A-side, and they did 10 minutes on Kung Fu Fighting.

08:07.61
Bevo
Do you know what the A-side was called?

08:09.88
Chibbs
Yeah, I don't remember now.

08:11.93
Bevo
Because something else, when I listened to this song, something else came on afterwards that was also Kyle Douglas and it's exactly the same song. I think it was called What's go through the Good for the Goose.

08:19.45
gav
i want to give you my i want to give you my I want to give you my everything was be the ace side.

08:19.77
Chibbs
I imagine... Okay, so that makes sense because they only had 10 minutes that they they whacked this out in at the end of the session.

08:26.68
Bevo
Might be that one.

08:31.22
Bevo
Yeah. The only thing that this song has that the other one doesn't is the... Otherwise, it's the exact same song.

08:36.95
gav
ah

08:37.04
Chibbs
So that makes sense. They just used they just used the same same song and went, yeah, but make this one about kung fu fighting.

08:40.44
Bevo
Yeah. Rewrite. Yeah.

08:43.99
Chibbs
He's like, you know what I've been doing lately? I've been doing a lot of kung fu. It's like, really, Carl?

08:47.13
gav
Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha

08:49.88
Chibbs
that is What would kung fu be in music form, do you think? And he's like, oh, oh. Yeah. It was like that.

08:57.22
gav
ha ha ha. Ha

08:58.62
Chibbs
Yeah.

09:03.76
Chibbs
We got verse one. It goes, there were there were funky Chinamen from funky Chinatown.

09:05.79
Bevo
I hope the gong stays for the

09:07.54
gav
ha ha ha ha.

09:12.53
Chibbs
They were chopping them up. They were chopping them down. It's an ancient Chinese art and everybody knew their part from a faint into a slip and a kicking from the hip.

09:26.04
gav
You guys watch the big Lebowski?

09:26.36
Bevo
Where else would you kick from?

09:26.28
Chibbs
This guy does know his Kung Fu.

09:27.28
Bevo
The ankle?

09:28.95
Chibbs
Yeah.

09:30.39
gav
you watch the big Lebowski when he's like, also, dude, Chinaman is not the prefer not the preferred look nomenclature, dude.

09:32.89
Mad Dog
Oh yeah, the dude.

09:34.01
Bevo
Yeah.

09:37.27
Chibbs
yeah

09:37.31
gav
it's

09:41.40
Bevo
yes

09:42.99
Chibbs
chopping Chopping them up and chopping them down.

09:46.01
Bevo
it Because you do a karate chop and it's it's definitely a downward motion, but you couldn't really chop.

09:46.28
Chibbs
What does an up chop look like?

09:46.84
gav
Surely that's the wrong order. That's the wrong order.

09:51.96
Bevo
Yeah.

09:52.64
Mad Dog
Just, ha!

09:52.87
Chibbs
The classic karate chop is a downward motion, right?

09:56.09
Mad Dog
Yeah, hi-yah!

09:56.34
Bevo
yeah

09:57.00
Chibbs
I reckon up, you're likely to just snap your arm in half, like with an up chop.

09:57.98
gav
yeah

10:01.69
Bevo
Unless he's like, unless he's murdered them and then has a knife and is chopping them up into small pieces.

10:03.64
gav
Yeah. That's exactly what I mean.

10:07.21
Bevo
Yeah.

10:07.26
Chibbs
um Yeah, okay, that's true.

10:07.69
gav
if you' If you're chopping someone up, they are they are a corpse and you have a meat cleaver. That is the, you are chopping them up.

10:18.49
Bevo
Well, it's an ancient Chinese art of people chopping.

10:22.20
gav
Of dissecting a person.

10:22.65
Chibbs
human butchery.

10:25.31
Bevo
Yeah.

10:25.38
Chibbs
ah

10:26.36
Bevo
Everybody knew their part as well.

10:29.24
gav
ah

10:29.55
Chibbs
Everyone knew their part.

10:30.22
Bevo
Is it play?

10:31.19
Chibbs
So is this a choreographed fight?

10:32.79
Bevo
me

10:35.43
Mad Dog
Funky Chinaman.

10:35.67
gav
ah Yeah, I feel like it is a little bit. But like feint into a slip and a kicking from the hip.

10:39.58
Bevo
And it's like saying there were funky...

10:41.43
gav
but Yeah.

10:45.30
Bevo
Saying there were funky China men from funky Chinatown implies that you're gonna list more people that were in the fight, but he doesn't.

10:45.99
gav
Are we...

10:52.48
Chibbs
No, it doesn't at all.

10:54.33
Bevo
Who else was there?

10:55.22
gav
Yeah. Yeah.

10:56.57
Chibbs
i don't know.

10:57.21
Mad Dog
Were they fighting each other?

10:57.98
Chibbs
it's it but When you say everybody is kung fu fighting, I assume we're in like a 20-person brawl.

11:06.36
Mad Dog
Yeah.

11:06.46
gav
ah ah

11:07.77
Mad Dog
You don't fuck around with these people.

11:09.53
Bevo
Also funny that there's 20 people and they're just chopping each other.

11:09.69
Chibbs
And not six.

11:12.31
Bevo
Yeah. Yeah.

11:12.87
Chibbs
ah ah ah and they're frightened.

11:13.15
Bevo
now that

11:18.58
gav
yeah

11:19.26
Chibbs
Yeah.

11:19.48
gav
But only a little bit. Only a little bit frightened.

11:21.26
Chibbs
A little bit frightening. It's produced by, ah yeah Bidu Apiara said. He's apparently ranked at number 34 on NME's 50th greatest producers ever.

11:34.58
Mad Dog
Really?

11:34.50
gav
Shit.

11:37.67
Mad Dog
I thought you were about to say Kung Fu masters or something.

11:37.55
Chibbs
Yeah, he's... Yeah, yeah.

11:40.59
Mad Dog
Okay.

11:41.03
Chibbs
yeah

11:41.81
Mad Dog
Ah.

11:42.87
Chibbs
He's of Indian-British

11:43.57
Bevo
Big market.

11:46.80
Chibbs
descent and and he was apparently just like a disco pioneer but also was selling millions and millions of albums in India.

11:47.64
Mad Dog
like okay

11:55.00
Chibbs
So it's like he's just one of these like he had three, it seemed like he had three separate projects that he was doing music under and it was just like hit after hit after hit after hit for this short period of time.

11:57.94
Bevo
big market

11:59.03
gav
Fuck.

12:09.14
Chibbs
It's like, yeah, he was just fucking smashing shit out, out of his mind, just chopping up and down.

12:11.27
Bevo
On a roll, chopping left and right, chopping people up and chopping them down, chopping up the charts.

12:11.35
gav
Just knocking them out.

12:14.67
gav
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

12:16.31
Mad Dog
Hopping.

12:17.94
Chibbs
Yeah.

12:19.33
gav
Ha, ha, ha, ha.

12:22.11
Chibbs
ah Verse two, there was a funky Billy Chin and a little Sammy Chung. He said, here comes the big boss.

12:29.01
Mad Dog
Oh, Jesus.

12:32.61
Chibbs
Let's get it on. We took a bow and made a stand.

12:36.66
Bevo
Bow, I think it's bow.

12:36.47
gav
A bow.

12:36.66
Chibbs
Oh, we took a bow.

12:37.43
gav
Surely bow.

12:38.71
Chibbs
how was going to be like, he's got weapons now.

12:40.84
Bevo
Bow and arrow.

12:42.10
gav
ah

12:42.33
Chibbs
We took a bow and made a stand. starting Started swaying with the hand. A sudden motion made me skip. Now we're into a brand new trip.

12:55.38
Chibbs
So Kung Fu Master Carl Douglas here has seen Billy Chin and Sammy Chung and been like, all right, we're on here. Got into stance. And then something's like giving him a little jump, like scare from the side.

13:10.36
Chibbs
Like ah someone knocked over a bin and he's like, ah, and it's quick.

13:12.50
Bevo
He's been distracted.

13:13.69
gav
yeah but

13:14.92
Chibbs
off a 50-man kung fu fight.

13:15.29
Bevo
Hey.

13:18.49
Bevo
yeah

13:18.46
Chibbs
so

13:18.49
gav
ah ah

13:21.18
Bevo
I also like, there was funky Billy Chin.

13:21.41
Mad Dog
Jumpy much?

13:24.55
Bevo
Imagine like a guy in a Kung Fu outfit, like the full gi, but it's got flares. Okay.

13:29.54
Mad Dog
Okay.

13:29.42
Chibbs
ya yeah ya Yeah, yeah,

13:29.78
Mad Dog
Again.

13:30.01
gav
yeah I was picturing like a family guy joke where the guys, I was picturing like Billy Chin having a fucking huge chin.

13:34.01
Mad Dog
again

13:33.90
Chibbs
And how little is Sammy Chung?

13:39.56
gav
It was just like, you've just got to land one, land one on his chin and he's done.

13:40.80
Bevo
Oh

13:41.73
Chibbs
have

13:44.78
Chibbs
And Sammy Chung's like three foot eight.

13:47.67
Bevo
yeah. Yeah.

13:48.15
gav
Little savvy junk.

13:50.90
Bevo
Like that bit of the Simpsons where the one guy's like, he's like going to do something and Homer wants to stick around and find out, you know, that bit.

13:50.90
gav
ah

13:51.61
Mad Dog
like on on job.

13:58.24
Chibbs
Yeah, yeah, going to do something.

14:01.10
Bevo
That's little Sammy junk.

14:01.34
gav
of

14:02.55
Mad Dog
Yeah, that's right.

14:04.95
Bevo
But they took a but and he took a bow, so there's like it's um it's a proper like tournament.

14:04.76
Chibbs
ah ka funding it Yeah, it's respectful.

14:10.19
Bevo
It's not like a full-on brawl. it's a

14:12.06
Mad Dog
I think it's a tournament.

14:12.61
Bevo
there's bows, so there's respect, at least.

14:12.62
Chibbs
I don't know. i don't know if it is a tournament. I think just kung fu artists in general.

14:17.78
gav
Are you saying there's no respect in a brawl? I feel like there can be respect in ah in an all-in brawl.

14:19.70
Chibbs
Yeah. come A kung fu brawl.

14:22.30
Bevo
When have you ever bowed at someone before you started brawling them? Okay.

14:25.90
Chibbs
Well, I don't think Gavin's been in a kung fu brawl. I think all of these people, all these people, all these

14:29.19
gav
I've not been... ah i've been in a regular machete-based brawl.

14:33.27
Mad Dog
It's a very respectful brawl.

14:35.62
Chibbs
All these people are Kung Fu fighters. Like they know the, you know, the the ins and outs of Kung Fu.

14:44.22
gav
They know the unwritten rule.

14:44.28
Chibbs
that starts with bow.

14:45.46
gav
They know the unspoken, unwritten rules of Kung Fu.

14:49.58
Mad Dog
It's more respect for the art more than the opponent.

14:49.55
Chibbs
Yeah.

14:52.86
gav
There you go.

14:53.27
Chibbs
i want to part I want to put it past Sammy Chung to give you an ah an up chop as you're bowing though.

14:53.46
gav
There you go. Mad Dog knows.

14:59.99
Mad Dog
ah just Yeah. Yeah.

15:01.53
gav
a

15:02.08
Bevo
Yeah.

15:02.38
Mad Dog
Yeah. Have you guys seen the famous...

15:03.02
Chibbs
Yeah, yeah.

15:03.78
Bevo
yaee

15:03.73
Chibbs
Uh... Um...

15:04.77
gav
Now that is disrespectful. Yeah.

15:06.75
Chibbs
yeah

15:08.31
Mad Dog
yeah yeah

15:16.66
Bevo
that's That's Japanese, by the way.

15:17.40
Chibbs
ah

15:19.98
Bevo
Off the mark on that one.

15:21.66
Chibbs
ah ah it's

15:23.67
gav
That was...

15:24.02
Mad Dog
have you guys seen have you guys seen the famous

15:26.46
Chibbs
Sorry, is it more racist than this entire song?

15:29.72
Mad Dog
Yes, it is.

15:30.10
Bevo
ah no no

15:30.52
Chibbs
so

15:31.42
Mad Dog
have Have you guys seen the famous internet video of like, it was this white middle-aged American chick must have been at like the Christmas party.

15:31.42
gav
ah

15:40.26
Chibbs
Oh, yeah, yeah. Ninja. I want to be ninja.

15:43.03
Mad Dog
I want to be ninja.

15:43.51
Chibbs
Yeah.

15:45.75
Mad Dog
Yeah.

15:45.94
Chibbs
Yeah, I want to be ninja.

15:46.19
Mad Dog
And like the Asian chick is standing there just watching it.

15:48.63
Chibbs
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

15:50.97
Mad Dog
It reminds me this.

15:51.48
Chibbs
It's hilarious.

15:53.13
gav
I've not seen that clip.

15:53.15
Chibbs
Kevin, I can't believe you haven't got onto this.

15:53.36
Mad Dog
Yeah.

15:55.12
Chibbs
I want to be ninja.

15:55.97
gav
I can't see it.

15:56.66
Chibbs
Put that into YouTube. Yeah.

15:58.59
Mad Dog
Oh, I'll put it in the

15:58.90
Bevo
that it does ring a bell, you mentioned.

16:00.30
Mad Dog
i'll put it in the in the um chat

16:00.46
Bevo
it That's it for the lyrics.

16:02.92
Chibbs
Yeah. Kung Fu fighting.

16:03.85
Bevo
We've...

16:04.74
Chibbs
Well, it topped the charts.

16:05.37
gav
Is that it?

16:07.51
Chibbs
Yeah, pretty much. It topped the charts in the the US, the yeah UK, Australia, Austria, Belgium, Canada, France, Germany, Ireland, the Netherlands and South Africa. It eventually went on to sell 11 million records worldwide.

16:18.21
gav
Jesus.

16:21.36
Chibbs
It made it one of the best-selling singles of all time.

16:25.28
gav
Fuck.

16:27.13
Bevo
Have you guys heard CeeLo did a version for Kung Fu Panda, one of them, um and they've changed all the words?

16:34.98
Chibbs
Oh.

16:35.42
gav
I saw that he'd done a version, but I didn't listen to it.

16:36.02
Bevo
Yeah.

16:36.05
Chibbs
It doesn't have Sammy Chung.

16:36.41
Bevo
No,

16:37.71
Chibbs
Sammy Chung and Billy Chinon in it?

16:38.10
gav
well

16:39.85
Bevo
I don't think so. They whitewashed it.

16:41.75
gav
Then who the hell is Kung Fu fighting?

16:44.28
Chibbs
yeah

16:45.30
gav
it was

16:47.03
Bevo
The panda.

16:47.00
gav
It was Funky Johnny Smith and little Toby Ryan.

16:47.59
Bevo
Yeah.

16:49.69
Chibbs
ah

16:51.82
Bevo
Respectful.

16:52.70
gav
ah

16:53.14
Bevo
Okay. I'll tell you. Okay. So they go, everybody's Kung Fu fight and your mind becomes fast as lightning. Although the future is a little bit frightening. It's the book of your life that you're writing.

17:04.46
Bevo
You're a diamond in the rough, a brilliant ball of clay.

17:04.48
Chibbs
Ugh.

17:06.70
Bevo
You could be a work of art. You could just go all the way. Now, what would it take to break? I believe that you can bend. Not only do you have to fight, but you have got to win. yeah.

17:17.56
gav
ah So they just dropped the rhyming scheme for the for the main rhyme at the end there. That's good.

17:20.76
Chibbs
See, what's ah what's hilarious is they got CeeLo for Kung Fu Panda. It's like, here's a nice, respectful man that we can get to do Kung Fu fighting for this.

17:28.47
gav
I

17:29.24
Chibbs
It's just like, CeeLo, you know the guy that um got charged for slipping ecstasy into women's drinks throughout 2012 2014?

17:35.99
gav
was going to say.

17:39.42
Chibbs
Yeah. you remember the one that was telling, telling like, was tweeting that rap like rape isn't rape and crazy shit like that?

17:40.50
Bevo
ye yeah

17:40.72
gav
Yeah, it's.

17:49.50
Mad Dog
Jesus.

17:49.66
Bevo
Is that why we haven't heard from CeeLo in a few years?

17:49.94
gav
yeah He has... Oh, yeah, shit, yeah.

17:52.74
Bevo
I didn't know that.

17:53.29
gav
He has some genuinely problematic opinions about a lot of things.

17:55.90
Chibbs
Yeah.

17:56.30
Bevo
Wow.

17:56.26
Chibbs
But, you know, that a new Niles Barkley album just came out, like, two weeks ago.

18:00.14
Bevo
Did it.

17:59.95
gav
I'll tell you what the problem is. I bet it kicks ass.

18:02.80
Chibbs
It's not very good. No, it's not.

18:04.24
gav
Oh, really?

18:04.47
Bevo
okay

18:04.59
gav
Never mind then.

18:04.69
Chibbs
Yeah.

18:05.43
Bevo
Serves him right.

18:05.35
gav
Fuck him.

18:05.53
Chibbs
Yeah.

18:06.00
gav
Serves him right.

18:06.89
Bevo
Serves him right.

18:07.26
Chibbs
ah He is on the new Kanye album, though

18:12.06
Bevo
Well, that's that's just as bad.

18:12.57
gav
What did you think of that? have you Have you had a listen?

18:14.72
Chibbs
though. Yeah, i think it's pretty good.

18:16.89
gav
there's a couple of There's a couple of really good fucking songs in there.

18:17.56
Chibbs
is from you

18:19.69
gav
I can't remember which ones i was digging.

18:20.02
Chibbs
Yeah, it's

18:22.79
gav
There's two in a row. There's two in a row that i absolutely slap. But anyway, we'll talk about this offline.

18:26.20
Chibbs
pretty good. there is. Yeah. 1977, Douglas released his second studio album, Love, Peace and Happiness. The album was accompanied by a single called Shanghai'd.

18:38.65
Chibbs
the

18:39.67
Mad Dog
oh

18:39.61
Chibbs
He just went like, he's just like, they're into this Kung Fu shit.

18:39.91
gav
Oh, God.

18:42.87
Mad Dog
He's leaning into this.

18:43.85
Bevo
Yeah, yeah, milk this.

18:43.86
Chibbs
People are into this Kung Fu shit.

18:44.50
gav
ah

18:45.41
Mad Dog
Yeah.

18:45.69
Chibbs
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

18:48.33
Mad Dog
I'm going to be the Kung Fu guy.

18:48.57
Chibbs
um

18:50.27
Mad Dog
Yeah.

18:50.33
Chibbs
When I was doing the research for this, I remember how I got into the song Kung Fu Fighting when I first it and when I got into it. And it's because of the British dance actor Bus Stop released it in 1998.

18:57.29
Bevo
Hmm.

18:58.39
Mad Dog
I got into it.

19:02.93
Bevo
Rings a bell, yep.

19:05.67
Chibbs
And it was, they basically just sampled Kung Fu Fighting and it still had all of Carl Douglas's stuff, but they added rap verses.

19:06.93
Mad Dog
dead. Yes. Yes.

19:09.99
Bevo
Hmm.

19:13.88
Chibbs
And I, I,

19:14.17
Bevo
That I do remember that.

19:14.84
Mad Dog
Yes!

19:15.37
Bevo
Yeah. Yeah.

19:16.25
gav
Yeah.

19:16.73
Bevo
That rings a bell.

19:16.67
Chibbs
I put that on today because i I bought the CD single for that. I remember getting the CD single and I was like, fuck, that was heaps good. And I put it today and went, this is not good.

19:27.82
Chibbs
This is terrible.

19:28.34
Bevo
This is trash straight trash.

19:28.60
gav
ah ah ah bad bad not Bad, bad, not good.

19:29.34
Chibbs
Yeah.

19:33.59
Chibbs
But it is featured in the 1990 movie Bowfinger, which you haven't if you haven't seen Bowfinger, do yourself a favor. One of the greatest comedies ever made.

19:42.03
Bevo
Leslie Nielsen.

19:43.86
Chibbs
It is Steve Martin and Eddie Murphy.

19:46.42
Bevo
Okay.

19:48.02
Mad Dog
It is a good one.

19:48.15
Chibbs
yeah Steve martin nedie murphy

19:48.44
gav
What a fucking, what a combo.

19:49.32
Bevo
Oh,

19:50.08
gav
Holy shit.

19:50.87
Chibbs
yeah

19:51.64
Mad Dog
Yeah.

19:51.83
Chibbs
hey Martin, Eddie Murphy, Heather Graham, um and Eddie Murphy plays two characters in it.

19:55.26
Bevo
wow.

19:59.35
Bevo
He always does that.

20:00.79
gav
Yeah, he does that a lot.

20:01.46
Mad Dog
yeah

20:01.56
Chibbs
this was the first I think this was the first time we did it.

20:02.42
gav
So Steve, Steve Martin's are obviously still pretty big at the moment.

20:03.73
Chibbs
R-rated comedy.

20:09.95
Bevo
Hmm.

20:10.07
gav
Steve Martin's still pretty big at the moment because he's got um only murders in the building.

20:10.72
Chibbs
bowinger

20:13.39
gav
Is Eddie Murphy... i haven't seen him in anything for a fucking minute. is he still Is he still acting? Is he still around? I've not seen anything with him in it for a long time.

20:20.50
Chibbs
I think a new beverly a new Beverly Hills Cop came out last year, I think, on Netflix.

20:20.74
Bevo
like he's retired. i want to say he's retired.

20:25.25
Chibbs
was like a Netflix movie.

20:25.88
gav
Okay. There you All

20:27.35
Chibbs
Yeah. um Bowfinger. Highly recommend. one One of the fucking funniest. The late Terrence Stamp is in it as well, I believe.

20:39.01
gav
right.

20:39.96
Chibbs
That is all lyrics. That is all lyrics.

20:42.41
Bevo
there's it Yeah, he slightly alters most of them, but nothing worth noting.

20:42.55
Chibbs
All right. Well, yeah, but mostly he's still fighting.

20:46.53
Bevo
don't think he'd be fighting.

20:47.78
Chibbs
He's still fighting. All right, let's try and find this.

20:54.97
Chibbs
Worst lyric of all time. Now, this is tricky for Kung Fu fighting, isn't it?

20:59.58
gav
This is We are we're on a knife's edge with this one. ah

21:04.09
Chibbs
Yeah. um I mean, i kind of just want to say everybody was Kung Fu fighting. it

21:11.00
gav
yeah

21:12.31
Bevo
I think for me, it's it's the funky China man from funky China town.

21:12.18
Chibbs
Everybody?

21:15.20
gav
that's I was 100% going to say that, Bevo.

21:16.52
Chibbs
Yeah.

21:17.55
Mad Dog
That's where I'm landing.

21:17.56
Chibbs
Yeah.

21:18.17
gav
And I think in the in the in the lyrics that I've got here on Genius, they've put a space in China men, like China space men.

21:19.54
Mad Dog
Yeah.

21:26.26
Bevo
Yeah.

21:26.33
Chibbs
Right.

21:27.61
gav
I'm pretty sure when he's singing it, there's no space in there.

21:29.82
Bevo
and Yeah. Yeah.

21:30.55
Chibbs
Yeah, there's no space.

21:30.97
gav
there's no he did not sing He did not sing a space in that fucking...

21:31.37
Bevo
It's from the racist no space.

21:32.41
Mad Dog
Nah.

21:34.19
Chibbs
It's a hard C. Hard

21:35.93
gav
He really threw a hard

21:36.47
Mad Dog
Yeah.

21:37.43
gav
hard see

21:38.42
Mad Dog
It's...

21:38.93
Chibbs
C and a hard M in there.

21:40.18
gav
I think there there's some pretty problematic lyrics in this song.

21:40.66
Mad Dog
Yeah.

21:40.94
Chibbs
That's...

21:43.65
gav
That one probably tops it.

21:44.79
Chibbs
Yeah. All right. All right. Yeah, Gab, yeah, I think we all agree. All agree. Funky Chinaman from chun Funky Chinatown.

21:51.12
Mad Dog
Funky Chinaman.

21:54.23
gav
Yeah, not good. Not good.

21:56.44
Chibbs
Yeah, not at all.

21:56.76
Bevo
yeah i think we're agreeing that

21:56.82
Mad Dog
Not cool.

21:58.23
Chibbs
Not at all.

21:58.77
gav
Didn't age well. Did not age well.

21:59.35
Chibbs
All right. Let's play a game.

22:12.09
Chibbs
All right, I've spun the wheel here.

22:13.64
Bevo
do you ever get to play this one chips or that's a shame let's um let's set it up so that you can yeah easy

22:16.12
Chibbs
No, I won't. I won't get to. It's not possible.

22:20.86
gav
We should pick one. Yeah, we should set one up for him for sure.

22:24.95
Chibbs
Okay, well, I'll tell you what. I think ChatGPT is trying to be real fair with their front because Mad Dog has got this one.

22:29.78
gav
Mad dog.

22:30.84
Bevo
ah

22:30.74
gav
It's for sure mad dog. I that. 74. 74. Bevo's like, oh, dog shit. The worst.

22:34.19
Chibbs
Mad Dog, here we go.

22:34.78
Mad Dog
74.

22:35.51
Chibbs
are hits from 1974. 74.

22:37.84
Bevo
73 is a top year for music. Oh, 74.

22:39.93
gav
seventy four seventy four

22:40.58
Bevo
Okay.

22:40.79
Chibbs
<unk> all

22:41.42
Bevo
You're quite as good.

22:41.79
Mad Dog
Okay.

22:42.58
gav
bitvo is like hob dog shit

22:42.97
Chibbs
many foot look ah The worst year for music.

22:45.85
Bevo
a dip, a real dip.

22:46.17
Chibbs
yeah ah

22:46.22
gav
buts

22:50.07
Chibbs
Now, look, let's just, let's just, um i' knock at when let's not kick it off.

22:50.52
Mad Dog
highs and lows

22:52.02
gav
Oh my god.

22:55.48
gav
Pardon you, Bebo.

22:56.57
Chibbs
We won't kick it off with Kung Fu Fighting because that might be the winner.

23:00.86
Mad Dog
and guy

23:00.66
gav
Could be.

23:02.26
Chibbs
So let's go here. No Woman No Cry by Bob Marley and the Wailers or Sweet Home Alabama by Leonard Skinner.

23:11.61
gav
Two opposite songs.

23:13.05
Chibbs
What goes

23:15.03
Mad Dog
No woman, no cry.

23:17.02
Chibbs
is gone.

23:18.78
gav
No, it it plays on.

23:19.35
Mad Dog
Oh, hang on.

23:20.26
gav
It plays on, Chibs. You always fuck this up.

23:23.67
Bevo
No, I don't think he heard that.

23:23.93
Mad Dog
na no.

23:23.86
Chibbs
So, Leonard Skinner's gone.

23:24.33
Mad Dog
I say the one.

23:25.07
Bevo
Yeah.

23:26.72
Mad Dog
Leonard Skinner can fuck off.

23:28.54
Chibbs
Okay, all right. Yeah, I'm getting myself confused here.

23:30.84
gav
You've got to say, use the the game the game is called One Plays On or whatever the fuck it is.

23:30.98
Chibbs
No woman, no cry.

23:31.38
Mad Dog
Yeah.

23:34.84
gav
yeah we name we know

23:35.65
Chibbs
has to stay.

23:36.66
gav
One has to say, you pick the one that's staying.

23:38.57
Chibbs
it's a That is a great point. No Woman No Cry or Lady Marmalade by LaBelle.

23:47.83
Mad Dog
ah

23:48.12
Chibbs
da

23:49.91
Mad Dog
No woman, no cry.

23:50.49
Chibbs
bun new new Okay, Lady Marmalade. LaBelle, I really thought they'd have a longer run.

23:56.07
Bevo
have been my go.

23:56.57
gav
ah Yeah,

23:56.79
Chibbs
ah No Woman No Cry or Waterloo by ABBA.

24:04.80
gav
Oh, shit.

24:05.41
Bevo
Debut single, Waterloo's great.

24:05.46
Mad Dog
Waterloo.

24:06.78
gav
Bye,

24:07.15
Mad Dog
Waterloo.

24:07.26
Bevo
We did that.

24:08.02
Mad Dog
Yeah.

24:08.53
Bevo
Kirsten and I did that in our set, and it's always my favourite song to play.

24:08.86
Chibbs
but Bob Marley's gone. so you later, Bob.

24:12.41
Mad Dog
Yeah.

24:12.57
gav
but Bob.

24:13.17
Mad Dog
Bob's op's gone.

24:14.14
Chibbs
Bob, it's not the best Bob Marley song, and um yeah, fair enough.

24:14.92
gav
Bob.

24:16.69
Mad Dog
It's not.

24:18.55
gav
And it might be the best ABBA song.

24:18.87
Chibbs
Waterloo. Good to me.

24:20.38
gav
yeah

24:21.25
Bevo
Do

24:23.57
Chibbs
Waterloo or Kung Fu Fighting by Carl Douglas.

24:28.92
Mad Dog
I'll stick with Waterloo. Yeah.

24:31.26
Chibbs
Interesting. Really?

24:32.76
Mad Dog
Yeah.

24:33.14
Chibbs
Okay.

24:33.36
Mad Dog
Yeah. That's right.

24:34.62
Chibbs
All right.

24:35.93
Bevo
you know that was their Eurovision song?

24:36.18
Chibbs
Waterloo or Kill...

24:39.74
Chibbs
Yeah, that's how they got their big break.

24:40.18
gav
This is what Waterloo was.

24:40.60
Mad Dog
yeah yeah yeah yeah that's right

24:41.56
Bevo
Waterloo, yeah.

24:41.38
gav
There you go

24:42.09
Chibbs
They got their big break, yeah. Waterloo or Killer Queen by Queen.

24:46.52
Bevo
Oh, it's one favorite songs of all time.

24:47.74
gav
Fuck. You're in the trenches there, Mad Dog.

24:48.90
Chibbs
Might be one of the... I mean, it's it's Mad Dog's choice, Mad Dog's choice, but i'm just saying Killer Queen might be one of the best songs that's ever been written.

24:52.82
Mad Dog
Yeah.

24:54.81
gav
know

24:55.58
Bevo
Yeah, yeah.

24:55.70
Mad Dog
Yeah.

24:55.54
Chibbs
Like...

24:55.55
gav
Queen!

24:55.98
Mad Dog
Kill a queen. Yeah. I'm happy with that.

24:59.22
Bevo
End it now.

24:59.36
Chibbs
See you later, Adam.

24:59.94
Bevo
That's it.

25:00.44
Mad Dog
Happy to change.

25:00.54
Bevo
Nothing's better than that.

25:01.46
Mad Dog
Yeah.

25:01.98
Chibbs
Oh, no, no, it's not over yet. Here you go. Killer Queen or You Are So Beautiful by Joe Cocker.

25:09.82
Mad Dog
Kill a queen.

25:11.35
Bevo
Written by Billy Preston, that one.

25:11.72
Chibbs
You are so...

25:13.15
gav
There you go.

25:13.62
Chibbs
yeah

25:14.36
gav
Good good fact.

25:14.60
Chibbs
Killer Queen or You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet by Bachman Turner Overdrive.

25:17.94
gav
um but but but Baby, you ain't seen nothing yet.

25:18.28
Bevo
Buckman Turner.

25:19.88
Chibbs
Ain't seen nothing yet.

25:20.76
Bevo
ah

25:20.58
gav
Which was which was which was written to mock his brother's stutter, by the way.

25:21.70
Chibbs
Bam, bam.

25:22.38
Bevo
Buckman Turner.

25:26.38
Mad Dog
it's said is that really Is that really that early on?

25:26.55
Bevo
Yeah.

25:26.65
Chibbs
Amazing.

25:27.61
Bevo
yeah

25:28.14
gav
yep That's 100%. 74%.

25:31.54
Chibbs
There was a cover of it.

25:31.93
Mad Dog
Is that really 1933?

25:31.80
gav
seventy four

25:32.58
Mad Dog
Oh.

25:32.95
Bevo
Yeah. Do you know, um, you know that song, she's so high that's Randy Bachman son, Tal Bachman.

25:34.14
Chibbs
There's been many covers.

25:35.46
Mad Dog
Okay.

25:38.33
Chibbs
Yeah.

25:38.84
Mad Dog
Yeah.

25:42.61
Mad Dog
Taj Tal back when.

25:42.49
gav
Is that a hey Are you taking the piss or is that real?

25:43.22
Chibbs
Oh, fuck.

25:43.77
Bevo
Yeah.

25:44.42
Mad Dog
Yeah.

25:45.21
Bevo
Yeah. yeah It's real.

25:46.49
gav
Is that real?

25:47.08
Bevo
Yeah.

25:47.67
Mad Dog
That's real.

25:47.51
gav
Oh my god.

25:47.83
Bevo
Yeah.

25:47.97
Chibbs
She's so high.

25:48.77
Mad Dog
Yeah, that's right.

25:50.04
Chibbs
okay

25:51.51
Mad Dog
um Okay. i mean I'm going to stick with Killer Queen.

25:58.71
Bevo
be hard to top that.

25:59.21
Chibbs
Killer Queen or Magic by Pilot.

25:59.60
Bevo
Whoa,

26:03.19
Chibbs
What a song. oh oh

26:04.61
Bevo
it's magic.

26:05.52
gav
Magic. You know...

26:07.65
Bevo
You know.

26:08.05
Mad Dog
Yeah, it's great song.

26:11.70
gav
I was like, who's...

26:13.77
Mad Dog
I hate it, it's magic.

26:16.29
Chibbs
Underrated. and You know what? Underrated verses in Pile as well.

26:19.09
Bevo
Great, great song.

26:19.93
Chibbs
It goes really, goes like double to double time.

26:20.80
Bevo
Yeah.

26:22.09
Chibbs
It's great fucking song.

26:23.64
Mad Dog
um Queen. Stick with Queen.

26:26.55
Bevo
Yeah.

26:26.39
Chibbs
yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

26:27.51
Bevo
You've, you've, you've blown your load right at the start.

26:28.27
Chibbs
Okay, queen.

26:28.89
Mad Dog
Yeah.

26:30.54
Bevo
definite

26:31.26
Chibbs
Here we go Here we go.

26:31.77
Mad Dog
Yeah.

26:32.46
Chibbs
Here we go. Hey, it's just the way it goes. This is it. This is it. This is a winner. Killer Queen by Queen or Ricky Don't Lose That Number by Steely Dan.

26:42.33
gav
oh

26:44.12
Bevo
Close, but it's not. Yeah.

26:45.27
Mad Dog
Ooh.

26:46.30
gav
Ricky, don't lose that number.

26:46.51
Mad Dog
Ooh.

26:48.07
Bevo
That was one of my, my live songs.

26:48.11
Chibbs
Lose that number.

26:49.55
Mad Dog
Yeah. Great song.

26:50.30
Chibbs
It was.

26:52.18
Mad Dog
um Queen takes it.

26:55.35
Chibbs
Yeah, fair enough.

26:56.13
Mad Dog
Killer Queen.

26:57.72
gav
Nice.

26:58.17
Bevo
Good choice.

26:57.95
gav
Did well.

26:58.01
Chibbs
Yeah.

26:58.61
Bevo
Well done.

26:58.51
gav
Did well.

26:59.48
Mad Dog
Yeah.

26:59.86
gav
That's fair.

27:00.38
Chibbs
Yeah.

27:00.66
Mad Dog
Yeah.

27:01.18
Chibbs
That is very, very fair. Very fair.

27:04.47
Mad Dog
Yep.

27:04.79
Chibbs
Okay, let's...

27:05.02
Mad Dog
Happy with that.

27:08.01
Chibbs
Who's fighting Kyle Douglas again?

27:10.55
Bevo
You were. No.

27:13.37
Chibbs
Mad Dog is.

27:13.75
Bevo
ah mad I was there.

27:13.72
gav
do we not

27:13.94
Mad Dog
Me. Me.

27:15.45
gav
Okay. I was like, did we not spin the wheel?

27:16.66
Mad Dog
there

27:21.38
Bevo
That's right. Senseis.

27:23.10
Chibbs
All right, doggy.

27:25.31
Mad Dog
Because he, well, he got very easily spooked there early on, like in verse two.

27:25.22
Chibbs
You've heard all of his moves and everything. Yeah, that's true.

27:31.48
gav
did.

27:31.76
Chibbs
He did.

27:32.00
gav
did and And you're a spooky guy.

27:32.28
Chibbs
Yeah, yeah.

27:32.49
Mad Dog
So I'm getting some,

27:34.01
Chibbs
Cats.

27:35.19
gav
You're a spooky guy.

27:35.38
Chibbs
He was scared by cats.

27:36.54
Bevo
You know the tricks. A little sleight hand.

27:38.68
Mad Dog
so maybe I've got half a chance here, but like, yeah, but still,

27:42.02
gav
ha ha ha.

27:45.38
Mad Dog
I'll be interested to see. Just tell me who wins.

27:48.45
Chibbs
All right, here we go. This is how the fight is going to play out.

27:49.39
Bevo
My money's on Carl, I think.

27:51.54
Chibbs
It says, Carl walks in confident, purely off Kung Fu fighting reputation. That confidence disappears quickly.

27:56.60
Bevo
Anyone else picturing him in ah in a Kung Fu outfit as well?

27:59.54
gav
Yeah, course.

28:00.20
Chibbs
I don't know. Mad Dog stays calm early, sizes him up. Once it turns physically, closes distance fast. Carl's not built for contact. He might throw something, but it's not stopping anything. Mad Dog gets inside, and once he does, it's chaos.

28:16.40
Chibbs
The mall move is nightmare fuel in close range.

28:16.60
gav
ah

28:20.37
Chibbs
Mad Dog wins easy.

28:22.87
Bevo
Oh, easy.

28:22.85
Chibbs
There you go.

28:23.64
Mad Dog
Wow.

28:24.12
Bevo
Wow.

28:24.31
Chibbs
He's done it.

28:24.41
gav
Okay.

28:26.30
Chibbs
and

28:30.55
Mad Dog
So I'm not scared of no Kung Fu.

28:31.19
gav
I will say that's kind of – I actually was thinking before ah before the announcement that if someone was taking their time to set up like their kung fu – there's lots of poses and stances and things.

28:31.65
Chibbs
I really thought

28:33.22
Mad Dog
Yeah.

28:43.66
gav
And I was like, Mad Dog's going to rush that.

28:44.32
Chibbs
he's...

28:46.19
gav
He's absolutely going to get in there and just go just go fucking angry.

28:47.32
Chibbs
Yeah, 100%. Yeah.

28:51.00
gav
Angry angry dog.

28:51.06
Chibbs
Yeah, Doggy's got some pace. Doggy's got some pace as well.

28:53.61
gav
He's a quick dog.

28:53.67
Chibbs
Like, he'll come at you come at you quick.

28:54.49
gav
He's a quick dog.

28:55.99
Chibbs
Yeah.

28:56.06
gav
and No doubt about it.

28:56.89
Chibbs
Yeah.

28:57.85
Mad Dog
Close that distance.

28:57.78
Chibbs
Yeah, Doggy will fucking cat up. Yeah.

29:03.19
Mad Dog
um Yeah.

29:03.06
Chibbs
Let's play this game.

29:03.99
Mad Dog
Okay. I'm happy with that.

29:08.08
gav
Hell yeah. Hell yeah.

29:15.61
Chibbs
Carl Douglas, as of 2026, is over 80 years old.

29:21.34
Bevo
Wow.

29:21.40
Mad Dog
Is he alive?

29:21.64
Chibbs
I still believe he is. Yeah, he's still alive.

29:24.47
Bevo
Still fighting.

29:24.37
Chibbs
Yep.

29:25.78
gav
Still fighting a good fight.

29:26.55
Chibbs
Everyone's fighting. Yeah.

29:29.50
Mad Dog
Getting her around in his gi.

29:29.78
gav
ah

29:30.18
Chibbs
Yeah. What do you think he's worth in 2026, Gav?

29:34.86
gav
It's so difficult. I mean, you've got to assume he bought properties in the 80s and 90s.

29:42.36
Mad Dog
Do you?

29:43.54
gav
Yeah.

29:43.89
Chibbs
Do you?

29:44.06
gav
He had... he had he had ah Maybe...

29:47.58
Chibbs
what what what out of What out of Carl Douglas' behavior made you think he was responsible enough to invest in real estate?

29:53.37
Mad Dog
He's a real estate mogul. a real estate mogul.

29:55.96
gav
I feel like... ah No, fair point.

29:58.11
Bevo
I feel like you get advised when you make a bit of money, like put it in in real estate.

30:02.20
gav
Put it in real estate. That's what everyone's... um Yeah, I don't know. Ah, fuck. This one's really difficult because it's like the magic of compound interest. he really should be He really should be very wealthy.

30:17.14
gav
But I've got a funny feeling that you're but you've brought this game in because it's comically high or comically low. um Ah, fuck.

30:25.56
Bevo
ah

30:25.98
Mad Dog
ah

30:27.77
gav
I'm going million.

30:28.06
Bevo
The old Chukahachie.

30:31.42
Chibbs
$58 million! dollars

30:32.57
gav
fifty eight million dollars

30:33.13
Chibbs
Bevo, what do you think?

30:35.54
Bevo
Yeah, this is a perennial favorite. And he's also cornered a market that not many other songs have cornered, which is songs about martial arts. So it's like this it's like the first thing you think of when you think about ah Kung Fu Panda obviously brought him back to the forefront.

30:43.16
Mad Dog
The Kung Fu market.

30:43.67
gav
ah

30:44.09
Chibbs
Yeah, that's true. Yeah, we're due for another martial arts song.

30:50.66
Bevo
So I'm going to say $30 million. dollars

30:55.38
Mad Dog
Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I agree. There has, first of all, there has to be a reason we're doing this segment. Second of all,

31:02.62
gav
ah

31:04.07
Bevo
brought it back.

31:05.53
Mad Dog
All right, fuck it. I'm going to go on the low end. I reckon he's put most of his cash up his nose throughout the 80s.

31:09.82
gav
eight dollars fifty

31:16.05
Mad Dog
I reckon he's sitting on a nice little tidy two mil.

31:21.28
Chibbs
Oh, it's not far off. Kyle Douglas in 2026 is worth $5 million.

31:22.98
gav
oh fuck oh fuck I was off by a factor of yeah that's pretty yeah

31:25.42
Chibbs
dollars

31:26.07
Bevo
well, it's still pretty good.

31:26.63
Mad Dog
There go.

31:28.67
Chibbs
It makes me think that, um it makes me think that old mate, ah the producer dude that was the big hit maker was like, this is my song.

31:29.45
Bevo
One hit. one hit

31:36.73
Mad Dog
Yeah.

31:37.92
Chibbs
You just s sung on it for 10 minutes.

31:38.52
Bevo
Yeah. Right. Yeah.

31:40.63
Mad Dog
Yes, 100%.

31:40.67
Chibbs
So yeah Yeah.

31:43.05
Mad Dog
That's what's happened.

31:43.06
gav
What's that guy?

31:43.20
Chibbs
That's entirely possible.

31:43.46
Bevo
Or he just went, he made his money.

31:43.58
gav
can we can we Can we do the producer's net worth?

31:47.61
Chibbs
Yeah, sure. Hold on. Let me find it here.

31:48.62
gav
let's do that Let's do that.

31:49.27
Bevo
The other thing is maybe he made money and he just went, okay, I'm happy.

31:49.42
gav
I want to see.

31:52.51
Bevo
I'll live with that. Like 5 million is a lot.

31:53.78
gav
And then.

31:53.94
Chibbs
Yeah. 100%. Yeah.

31:55.03
Bevo
That's enough to retire on.

31:56.82
Mad Dog
I just have that amount of money and it gets smaller every year.

31:56.95
gav
Yeah.

31:57.13
Chibbs
Yeah.

31:58.30
gav
Well, if i'm if like realistically, if you look at his Wikipedia, you know how it's like in in people's Wikipedia pages, it goes through the history of their life.

32:01.05
Chibbs
yeah

32:06.62
gav
and it's used For an artist like this, it kind of goes in segments.

32:10.69
Bevo
Drop

32:10.78
gav
And it's like, it'll be like usually like a year range based on albums that were releasing at the time or different stages in their career.

32:10.81
Chibbs
yeah

32:17.18
Bevo
off.

32:18.10
gav
For this guy, 1977 till present is one whole era.

32:18.84
Bevo
e ah the drop off like Sometime around like, anytime now.

32:23.67
gav
So what's that? Fucking 60 fucking 60 years.

32:27.22
Chibbs
ah

32:29.74
gav
What? it

32:32.98
gav
50 years. He's got a 50-year... From when this song was released until now is one era of his career.

32:37.43
Chibbs
here

32:40.44
gav
So, showing you how much he's done since.

32:41.03
Bevo
the

32:41.82
Chibbs
okay his producer his producer the producer uh

32:44.65
Bevo
coasting era.

32:45.59
gav
Yeah, dupp what's his name? dib Fucking... Dump something?

32:48.97
Chibbs
his name is bidu apia um 10 mil he's worth

32:52.37
gav
Bidduap, yeah.

32:56.05
gav
Okay, yeah, fair enough.

32:56.88
Bevo
bit more than Carl.

32:57.11
Chibbs
ah Drugs.

32:57.24
gav
I would have thought more.

32:57.87
Chibbs
Drugs.

32:58.39
gav
would have thought more.

32:58.55
Chibbs
Drugs. drugs Oh, doggy dropped out.

33:00.82
gav
Drugs.

å00:00.06
gav
the drugs drugs is the reason that uh he he's yeah i mean yeah that'll do it

00:03.35
Chibbs
Yeah, drugs. Yeah, yeah. The whole thing. The producer has no money. He has no money. They've got one of the biggest selling songs of all time and drugs, I i would imagine.

00:13.18
Mad Dog
Maybe the Chinese triad's got their talons into it.

00:13.19
gav
yeah put their claws into it jesus

00:19.28
Mad Dog
Yeah.

00:21.53
gav
ah

00:21.82
Chibbs
ah Hey, you wanted me to get more samples on the on the board here.

00:22.81
Bevo
Just wake everyone

00:26.04
gav
I did say that.

00:27.99
Chibbs
This is what happens.

00:28.24
gav
i ohll wear that I'll wear that.

00:29.19
Chibbs
This is what happens.

00:29.96
gav
wear that.

00:30.19
Chibbs
Let's rate this shit.

00:30.39
gav
Well-timed. Oh, God. How...

00:38.89
Bevo
up.

00:43.03
Bevo
just wipe everyone up

00:44.01
gav
welltimed

00:44.95
Chibbs
What are we going to write it out of What are we writing this out of?

00:49.11
gav
good um

00:49.75
Mad Dog
ah Upchops?

00:50.75
gav
how

00:51.22
Bevo
How many blocks of wood can you chop in one one fell one fell chop?

00:53.82
Chibbs
Okay, great. Yeah, 10, 10.

00:54.82
gav
that That works.

00:54.90
Mad Dog
Yeah.

00:55.57
gav
That works.

00:56.22
Chibbs
ten Yeah, they were it wasn't like one ply wood. So it's you, you, you, yeah, you obliterate the bones and you pin your arm trying to chop it.

01:01.88
gav
It was hardwood floor.

01:02.76
Bevo
Balsa. Bit of balsa.

01:04.05
Mad Dog
it's It's a fucking slab of teak.

01:11.91
gav
And it eviscerates your eviscerates all the veins in your wrist and you're bleeding on the dojo floor.

01:12.70
Mad Dog
Just...

01:12.69
Chibbs
Yeah.

01:13.40
Mad Dog
Yeah! yeah

01:18.74
Mad Dog
The dojo. Yeah. Yeah.

01:20.22
Bevo
the

01:21.20
gav
ah

01:21.27
Mad Dog
the doio

01:24.40
Chibbs
That's a 10.

01:25.63
Bevo
that's japanese as well styrofoam

01:25.74
Chibbs
That's a 10 and you're dead.

01:26.20
Mad Dog
ah

01:28.80
Chibbs
one is, it's just, it's cardboard that looks like wood and you just chop it.

01:33.59
gav
ah Absolutely smoke it.

01:34.47
Chibbs
yeah yeah

01:35.38
Bevo
styrofoam star

01:36.64
Chibbs
Styrofoam.

01:37.05
Mad Dog
yeah

01:37.38
Chibbs
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:37.88
gav
ah

01:39.81
Chibbs
What do you give this out of 10, doggy?

01:44.22
Mad Dog
um yeah Probably a ah crazy frog fall.

01:51.57
Chibbs
Ring-a-ding-ding.

01:51.90
Mad Dog
Yeah. I mean, it's not it's not that offensive and it's bit of a bop.

01:52.71
Chibbs
Bam, bam, bam.

01:56.37
Chibbs
Kung Fu 4.

01:57.49
Mad Dog
I don't want to put it on all the time, but, yeah, it's okay.

02:00.29
Bevo
Yeah.

02:01.63
Chibbs
Okay. Bevo?

02:03.77
Bevo
Uh, I'm going, uh, we got a dog five, which I don't do it too often these days, but, um, yeah, it's just like, it's good.

02:07.49
Chibbs
Oh, fucking hell.

02:08.53
gav
There you go. There you go.

02:10.81
Chibbs
you've ah You've completely fucked me here because I'm like, no one's going to give this a five and I didn't even put the...

02:11.77
Bevo
It's like, that's

02:16.98
Chibbs
I used it up for a doll.

02:17.17
Bevo
what it's fine. It doesn't matter.

02:18.01
Mad Dog
Ricky Stewart.

02:18.03
gav
the sample on the board.

02:19.86
Bevo
It doesn't matter. I just, yeah, it's like, it makes me smile, but I'd never put it on for fun.

02:20.72
gav
ah

02:21.07
Chibbs
A doll. Yeah.

02:22.25
gav
Well, we don't have the crazy frog sample much anymore either.

02:26.58
Chibbs
Well, no one's given any 10s away.

02:26.82
Bevo
That's for 10 crazy frogs for 10.

02:26.88
gav
Yeah, fair.

02:28.42
Bevo
Yeah.

02:29.97
Chibbs
Yeah. um

02:30.96
Mad Dog
That's true. that

02:32.73
Chibbs
There it is.

02:32.76
Bevo
Yeah, five.

02:33.34
Chibbs
Here we go.

02:33.56
Bevo
I'm ambivalent.

02:35.10
Chibbs
Really? You don't care about Carl Douglas's?

02:37.75
Bevo
There we go. It was worth it. Well,

02:42.60
Chibbs
Okay. Yeah. All right. Gav?

02:44.38
gav
um Yeah, i'm i'm with fucking I'm with Mad Dog on this one, a Crazy Frog 4. It's like it's... It's um um um it's nothing ah nothing to jump up and down about, but I certainly don't dislike it.

02:55.84
Chibbs
Like Kung Fu artist would jump up and down.

02:56.15
Mad Dog
Yeah.

02:56.98
Bevo
but if this came on in a Berlin nightclub at 3am, you'd be doing the chops and shit, but

02:57.17
Mad Dog
Thank you, man.

03:00.79
Mad Dog
Yeah.

03:00.88
Chibbs
Oh, you are, I am fucking, I am chopping up the nightclub. Like I am, I'm hitting fucking kicks from the hip, kicks from the hip, chopping up and down.

03:06.03
gav
I am bullying...

03:07.29
Bevo
I reckon I would too.

03:07.64
gav
am... I'm pulling the meat cleaver out the back of my jeans and I'm cutting up patrons.

03:12.33
Bevo
Call me Funky...

03:13.49
Chibbs
Uh,

03:13.69
Bevo
yes

03:13.91
Mad Dog
Just up-chopping.

03:14.06
gav
I am fucking...

03:15.83
Mad Dog
Ha!

03:16.06
gav
I'm up i'm up chopping the DJ in his booth so he can't skip the song and this will play all night.

03:16.55
Mad Dog
Ha!

03:21.55
Mad Dog
Up-chopping.

03:23.19
Bevo
Call me Funky Jimmy Choo or whatever wherever his day was.

03:23.64
Chibbs
ah

03:23.97
Mad Dog
Up-chopping.

03:26.22
gav
Fucking...

03:26.65
Chibbs
oh I don't know.

03:26.88
gav
ah Billy Chin for the record, Bevo.

03:28.28
Chibbs
I think I like this. i enjoy this song. I enjoy this song a little bit more than everyone else, but just a little bit more.

03:34.06
gav
Nice.

03:34.36
Chibbs
I gave it a three out of 10.

03:35.09
gav
Just a little bit.

03:36.01
Chibbs
Yeah.

03:36.44
Mad Dog
Yeah okay, yeah I can I can see that for you.

03:37.17
Bevo
Fair enough, yeah.

03:37.53
Chibbs
yeah There was a nostalgia thing to it with the bus stop version.

03:41.05
Bevo
area Yeah, yeah.

03:41.77
Chibbs
And if I hadn't to put my rating down before I listened to the bus stop version, it might've got higher. Bus stop almost ruined it for me, but Nah, fuck. Great song.

03:54.77
Chibbs
Great song.

03:55.81
Bevo
Great.

03:56.10
gav
Nice.

03:56.37
Chibbs
What the fuck?

03:57.37
Mad Dog
Pioneering, yeah.

04:00.50
gav
There really aren't enough martial arts songs, though. like that's that's That's the niche. we're absolutely He's absolutely hit a niche here, and what can you do about it?

04:05.34
Bevo
Yeah.

04:08.97
gav
you know Fuck.

04:09.62
Chibbs
What can you do about it?

04:10.78
Bevo
Write one yourself.

04:12.43
Chibbs
All right you got the digital bong ready there, Bevo?

04:12.44
gav
Write one yourself.

04:14.93
Chibbs
You going play us out?

04:15.38
Bevo
ah do. It's hard because I want it in the frame, but i also want a microphone. One,

04:20.85
Chibbs
Get a fucking stand, you lazy cunt.

04:23.19
gav
Yeah, if only you had a gooseneck fucking mic stand like me.

04:26.11
Bevo
two, one.

04:26.20
Chibbs
A gooseneck microphone that plugs directly into your interface.

04:26.45
Bevo
One, two.

04:29.98
gav
ah

04:32.70
Mad Dog
Oh.

04:34.74
gav
y'all You'll laugh, but it fucking works, buddy.

04:40.98
Bevo
Let me give you that. I want to give you that. book

04:42.23
Chibbs
Get fucked, everyone. Oh, I don't even know what I did with the song. Hold on. I think I just deleted the song.

04:48.81
gav
Bevo, hit us with a song.

04:50.45
Chibbs
The problem is I called every fucking thing Kung Fu.

04:55.06
gav
Did it did it

04:55.86
Mad Dog
and

04:58.65
gav
did it did it did it did it

05:12.66
Bevo
oh

05:27.10
gav
well Hit us with the chorus, Biv-O. Hit us with the chorus.