Gwinyai is a digital analyst in investment banking specialising in operation efficiency improvement through tech driven innovations in London. In this interview, he opens up about his experience moving to England when he was only 13 years old, and how he tackled issues such as people not knowing how to pronounce his name.
Gwinyai is a digital analyst in investment banking specialising in operation efficiency improvement through tech driven innovations in London. In this interview, he opens up about his experience moving to England when he was only 13 years old, and how he tackled issues such as people not knowing how to pronounce his name.
spk_0: 0:08
Hi. Welcome to the Africa input cost. This is your host, Ropa, and I'm so excited to have you here. Listen, listen. This is a pod cost where every single episode is an interview with a person of African descent living in Europe. So why don't you come along with me as I get to hear some of the most interesting, inspiring, heartwarming and also funny stories from some really, really, really dope people. Yeah. Hi. E. Welcome to the African pod cost. Funny story. Someone said to me I speed over the word comb too much. So I call it the African Pour Cost. So I've really been working on my diction and articulations. I'm really stretching out the word comb, So Yeah. There you go. Welcome to the Afro comb. Pot costs people. If this is your first time here, I have an awesome, exciting guests today and I always have awesome and exciting guests. So you're in good hands. Stick around. If this is not your first time, then I missed you too. Been thinking about so glad you're back. So before we get into today's episode, I wanted to let you all know that if you have ever wondered or wondering, you know what the back story of this part cost is? So if you have questions like, Why did I start the pot caused or like, Why did I name it Afro Comb when it's got nothing to do with hair or even things like who I am and what I'm about as a person and why I think storytelling is important? Um, yeah, if you've ever, you know, wondered about these kinds of things. I have great news for you next week, Saturday So Saturday made the second I will be going live on Instagram at 6 p.m. And I am going to be interviewed by a Soucy Fana. So sec Fana is a collective that organizes like Pan African slash Afro P and events all over Germany. And initially they were supposed to host the listening party for this podcast. But that couldn't happen because hashtag around of ours. So you know, the thing is, we move right. So the work around is that we're going to have this live instagram live and they're going to interview me and which is going to have like an interesting conversation about storytelling and why it's important that we get to hear the stories of the kinds of gifts that we have on this pod cost. So make sure you follow Afro Comb pod cost on Twitter, instagram, Facebook, all of the good stuff so that you're able to join the live next week. Saturday. Okay, now that that's out of the way, today's guest is a digital analyst in investment banking. He lives and works in London and was actually only in Berlin for a couple of days over in years. Ive And that's when I met him, and we had so many great conversation in the short space of time that I met him, that I was like, Yo, you need to come onto my podcast. And, boy, am I glad that he did, because so many important themes that he touches on through his life story and one of my favorite ones is this issue off names and the fact that as immigrants, particularly people from the Global South, our names have always been considered often times been considered difficult to pronounce, and we go through life encountering people who don't make the effort to learn how to pronounce them to the point where we start to water down these names ourselves. So we start toe, dilute them and English if I them so that they are more palatable to the people that were encountering as we navigate our way through Europe. Essentially so that was like a very interesting just conversation, and we get to hear it through the perspective of Queenie Eye and his life. And before we get to that, I really wanted to share. Quote. So this quote is from Uzo Aduba, who is a She's crazy. Eyes from orange is the new black, and this is what her mother said to her when she considered changing her name so that people in the America that she was growing up in would find it easier. This is what her mother said. If they can learn to say Cekovsky and Michelangelo and Dostoyevsky, they can learn to say ouzo America. So that's like my little gem for this week. Let's cut to the conversation with quinoa and also please stick around at the end, because I will tell you all about what to expect from the next episode. All right, talk to you soon.
spk_1: 5:00
Okay? Are you really going on. I'm so ready. Welcome to the Africa part Cost. Thanks. You excited to be here? Yeah. This is my I think my first podcast recording since it's my second. This is my 2nd 1 ever. So we're gonna We're gonna figure this out again. Shared experiences. I feel like this is kind of what? Cause where anything can happen. Like I cannot tell you in what direction this is going. So we're just gonna figure it out. I'm down. I'm done. Yeah. I'm gonna ask you really random question. OK, so were you ever high school rapper? No, I wasn't. Do you want todo? I did like I just had too much perspective as a kid. Oh, my gosh. I was too interesting. Okay? Just but wasn't rapping and way to get them? Yeah, I think so. I don't think so. Like, unless you actually have bars. You know, you just with some of you got a lot of high school happens, didn't have a boss, but they did it anyway. But but let's think about let's think about the cool guys who didn't need to have a rap career. Wow. So it's like the upper echelon at some point. You're so cool that the rep, the whole rap career you transcend your trust. Allow these particular OK, Ok, fatty listeners, This is my very humble guest. Okay. His name is going on green eyes involved with me now is awesome. Thank you. Guys in Baldwin. Queen eyes, green eyes to any six. Tell him that 26 27 26. Thank you. Okay, you go. I mean, I do my research. Kiss? Yes. And what is we? I mean, yeah. Good. I is derived from Kucherena red, which is like almost two tents in what language is Yeah, so going as effectively to tense. But, you know, you called to say my name is too tense. It's almost like bracelet packed. Yeah. I don't know. 10th to 10 It's like, you know that Yeah. Throws you off. So I think the meaning of derive from it is effectively live strong. Like funny enough. That was that whole allowed before we found out he had been doping. Exactly. Yeah, I kind of brand with strong. That's what going I mean, like, brace perfect for any kind of impact that you can Would you give your child is involved with name a shorter name You hundreds way. So context. In Zimbabwe, we have two main languages. Shona. And so you're keen to give your child a Zimbabwean 100% Would you? OK, Do you plan on reason? You're Children if you ever have What? High affinity outside of Zimbabwe, Like indoors. So somewhere in your horse. Estranged. Yeah, I think it's part of the reality of the times we live in. Now that, you know, we kind of have this sort of global what you want to call his global mindset. It's right in the sense that exposure is good and the right kind of explosion only benefit your job. Yeah, Forward, right. I think I think it would be great for my kids like that's involved with background. Indeed. That's like, really to that. Yes, it has. It hasn't really identity to write. I feel like sometimes out here, you know, the identities are mixed up in a whole lot of different agendas. Yeah, also clear. Yeah. Whereas I think for the most part, the Zimbabwean identity is still quite authentic and still quite ingrained in what I totally agree with you because we just had dinner or drinks last night with a bunch of the Babwin and people who have, like, similar from similar circles that on. It's like I haven't autism for five years, but just being around them instantly, you connect on connecting on a different level. We're going back to like our colloquialisms from back in the day, using the same sliding with one of those violence. So I don't get that like it's good to have that Zimbabwean background. Would you change anything about your upbringing? So, recap. He said. You were born in them born lift until you were 14 13.5, moved to England and also went to uni. They're still still. Would you change anything? I think what I would change is I would have stayed in them a little bit longer, as definitely still would have left are probably the state is until about levels, rightly, to those levels. Contact is like when you're Tracy's like 60 G's and to see that sees that snake board we had in England. GCS is so I think I'm just to have a little sort of white proper teenage experience in Zuma's well right part of me missed out on. Yeah, and I say part of me because those in boarding school you can still flew back over like old time. Yeah, exactly. Like my family still lived in them to still still do. I'm sorry. I got to fly back. OK, it is OK, but I think up to 16 were released. Um, your character is in complete. Isn't completely out of your parents hands or let's say very interesting. Yeah, I haven't been away from that wrong. The count was kind of left up to fate. Yeah, and I don't really funny. It's like it couldn't go on either anyway. Like, it could've got kin handy erection. Yeah, gotcha. Just the comforts of home. Like also ripping up, ripping out a teenager from from where they started to establish themselves as it started. Really uncomfortable into a completely different environment. Way like, you know, one of, like, maybe five black kids in the school. Which city with this? This'd is a small town called Heywood's Heat. So the majority of the private schools actually want in big cities, causes no space. Most, most well off people don't live in cities. Okay, so it's quite quite for on the outskirts. Yeah. Yeah, so that I didn't have to kind of battle with almost really adult themes. Quite early arms that will be one of five kids in school. Yeah, you know, kind of now having almost identity crisis that no one can pronounce your name. There you go on. And this is why I was asking if you would give Your child is involved with name because that must have been traumatic feet. That was an interesting vibe altogether. Yeah. Yeah. Just because, you know, you get there and you're like, I've always gone by And then, you know, my good friends. Maybe, you know, the guys really in with Call me G Man. I'm not so funny when, like, boys do this symbol where I was people, which is playing around with names like team back. What are Yeah. So schoolboys really used to do this thing off, like thinking a name, calling themselves T Mac G. Magan enhancing. That's good. That's very good Words make it more catchy. Yeah, So people couldn't say Yeah, actually, you know what? Four fun. I'm just gonna give all this news three seconds to try and spell. Yeah, I spell it like situation in Zimbabwe. Just how do you spell that? G w I and why I But then I don't even think the end. Why sound when you die? The win? Yeah. If you did it in two frauds, you could actually write neighborhood. Yeah, right place. Like my parents would say. But it's like I like, you know, it's almost like the end as an accident on your w maximum. But, like, really, I always find it very odd that people struggled. So you're, like, 14 80% of people around you do not know how to say Yeah. So what do you do? That's all. So so I was like, You know what? You guys call me Jim, act like it's Let's I was using this at school, Any backings, in many ways. So, like, just call me G Mack on like I remember, like most locals like, if there be a sub teacher or something like Yeah, OK, Sam. Toby, President, You know your eyes, like no running around drunk. It was like, Yeah, I'm here. Yeah, yeah, let's go. Just just get it out the way, um, to to again, that G Mac thing of all owned, like people, like follow me up. You really quick on the field or whatever on the sports ground. Preschool Yugi Max. And then Max just took over from there. Okay, so you started off with a cool kid named like any other high school kid, and then it like metal moved. I don't think that's the right word when you're with me to Max. And it's been Maximus is it's here. It's been Max up until I didn't cut it off outside of you. So I had a conversation with my ex girlfriend, actually, And shoot kind of. I think I then passively let it continue as much. Just cause I was not I completely taken over that sort of Max and I didn't see so I don't see the differences anymore. But there wasn't identity identity crisis when he sought, but I just didn't see the differences in between me having this name that I don't actually own. Yeah, not using, you know, my birth name. So yeah, straight off to uni. I was, like, you know, doing my job applications and all of that. I was like, Yeah, like, best you can call me Quinn. Yeah, but I'm going on a fishing. And have you had, like, since adopting this name, having had to actually spend time teaching people to say, Yeah, it's not an investment, right? But, um, I feel like it's that bows and appropriate staged to do that to kind of bring it all back. I'm gonna brand if I'm gonna have your personal brand or anything else going forward in particularly maybe in a formal way. It's got a big is gonna be my birth name. And is it a worthwhile? Like the amount of time, emotional energy all of that we spend introducing yourself and trying to explain to someone what a green is? Is that a worthwhile investment, which he says is worth it is what it is. Here's one funny thing like which will help me conclude Why should switch over No switches. Why should go back to my after me? Think about all your favorite rap is right. The easiest ones to forget, maybe apart from J C are the ones who've got made up names. But just because their name can sustain sort of the test of time, whereas if you look at like a flavorful ive that doesn't look good 20 years after, maybe at the time, very That's very kind. Just doesn't would stand the test of time on you. Find that all the guys who sort of named after that just themselves. Yeah, they're alright. That music tends to have a better life span happened. Do you think about this because I think about when I'm thinking rapper. Right now I'm getting to Snoop Dog So and has, you know, Like I said, there's a few who've sort of stayed in that far off untouchable. Regardless of what you call yourself, your doctor drains you. But these are legendary rappers who have made a name for themselves. Yeah, beyond even the name is the rapid names. It's actually probably bigger than they really name. Yeah, why it doesn't. I just don't think it marries well with your overall brand because funny enough, every time they try, do acting. Oh, Broadus, Roda's Jackson. That's even sleep dog or bowel? They both. So it's like, Oh, ballot does not standard tested. It doesn't don't know their names just don't like when you want to try formalize things. It's part Sounds like I'm still time e. I get that. I'm just good. I'm just gonna ride with my drink. You know, it doesn't make sense on gonna make sense Eventually would become a household name. Let's say so. I really like that. You then switched back to green and also that you would consider naming your child. Yeah, that was involved on. I also really believe that, you know, when it comes to these kinds of names in African names, name some certain parts of Asia. I feel like the global population, just the world, but greater world, the world at large needs to make a bit of a better effort that actually, I don't know, trying to get used to these names. Because when it comes to, like French things like how to say more wet, like we're all their learning what to do with those accents you made offered you say wrong. And I think we can put the same value on our short names and develop that That's crazy because actually, there's this one which is like you mix the black, he and the white key and you learn to say cekovsky. But you can t words. Yeah, Yeah. Tchaikovsky's like how you it doesn't read Well, right? Right again. You know, people want to say that. So, yeah, I think it's your name. Carries an identity. Yeah, one from where you're from. If it's named. Yes. Location. Uh, on a similar. There is There is power. Yeah, it's worth exercising. Worthies is worried worth wearing with this? You absolutely hate your name. And it doesn't represent you in any shape or form, then Hey, like, like, do you? I mean, my second name is I'm not gonna say they will never speak, but yes. So, um yes. What's your favorite childhood memory? Who? Someone often this. So I was letting how to swim on. So this is like, what? I'm 6565567 times. Andi. Then I always used to go to like my dad used to be quite sporty, so I always used to go to the squatter course, but like to get to the squash because you'd have to go through this sports shop on to this this one Indian dude around this poor shop on our religious And I remember going there one time I saw, like, swimming goggles. Your I need this thing like I can't see underwater. And I feel like I need this. I need this. I've never needed something more than I need And my dad and you know particular that I broke. Come on. Yeah, we could look at the price on that thing that happened on our, you know, your dad saying exactly already have a sense of price. And but also, when your dad says getting happening, it ain't happening, you know? But also it again now, even though deep wanted. I don't know if I like where this is going, but keep going right now. Okay, A couple weeks go by. Actually, no out of suit now, like I get you know, you know how used to get, like, a little colors on your trunk and you saw it on. I don't know if that I didn't wear trunks. Yes. Sorry. OK, I'm getting no gender sensitive here, but I used to get, like, a little like color fish or something on your on your trunk. If you'd gone up a level so a couple levels down, then one day Dad picks me up from school, is okay. What if we're catching up? Guys? Now, can you grab me like my notebook. It's in the dashboard, not the dartboard. Sorry. What's it called? I know the glove compartment. I feel like we grow pulling a dashboard glove compartment compartment. That's the official term, right? Yeah. So I pulled out. The couple's over there. I think this is my guy. I think so. I think that's it. And this made such an impression on you that you've been holding onto it for 20 years old. You guys are you like him in any way? To be honest, I don't know. That's the best. The truth. I don't know if I'm actually like any of my parents. Um, I would say, perhaps in like, I guess it gets levels of intellect or logic. I follow a majority of his ways, like one of the things which I learned from him quite early on. And it's this kind of a life axel like yet like listening. Listen, close. One thing I do, which I learned from him, and I think surely enough, it's something worth taking long because he's white, but so I know. So I know down all of the tasks I need to do at the start of the day. Okay? A piece of on a piece of paper, no matter what it. Wow. Before I leave, I type. I know down everything I need to do for tomorrow so that I'm not gonna waste any time by the time I get in the next day to be thinking, Aw, shit. I gotta do this. Are should I gotta do this? But it just basically prepared for tomorrow before you even started today on. It's a weird life hack that always seems to work and all you gotta do for the rest of the day just work through that list. Work for that list. To be honest, these are skills you don't need to go to school for. You don't You don't need to go to school for them. But they should be teaching should but yeah, get so so? Yeah, I'll say on a logic perspective, I'm very much like my dad. I think character wise in terms of who I really am, I'm probably like my mom that you know, you I'm a lot more of a quiet person, quite an introverted I have known going on three days were key keying on this foot cause that you want me to be convincing, but yeah. Okay. So introverted. Extra attendance. Okay, let me catch me. Catch regular regular. We can. You've seen a ghost of mortgages? Not their most times. I'm really And that's your mom? Yeah, that's that's more like I really love that way. Always get, like, the best of both worlds. Kind of vibes. And do you think the whole tossed thing actually has helped you? Professional life? What do you do? First of all, yes. So what I do is I'm a long story short. I'm a business analyst at an investment bank, and I sit within trade reference data. So or rather reference data. I switch off when, like, banking and accounting people. I mean, I'm the host of this podcast Ecology, that Okay, Yeah. If I summarizes. I've been working investment bank for the last five years. I've gone through, sort of all that's it. Causes and I've worked in regulation as well, which means which kind of sits above Yes, it's about everything. Effectively. And then I'm kind of. But back in the trenches where I work inclined lifecycle management, we take care off clients customer journey within. Okay. Back So the time they join the time to make the first trade to the time to make the lost traders time they add on your accounts, right? This is like a B to c be to be, like customer. Me, like a exactly like, really be really trouble trying haunts that customer experience because my journey with us, whatever you need, is all right with this as individual, as an institution or as a institution representing another individual. Okay, so we kind of try in, include all of that and make that process that seem this is possible. And this digitally friends as well as possible. Yeah. So long story short. That's that kind of trying to make that process efficient. And for five years, have you been doing like, in this career projection? Me thinks this writing down your tasks every day has helped you. Oh, yeah, 100%. It just I think writing that down at least before you leave before you leave. So I write it in the office. This is purely office based. Sorry. Sorry. Got it. So you write your tasks would be like at the end of every day when you slipped working right tomorrow's talk. Yeah. Okay, that's it. So that by the time I get to my desk, I'm hitting the ground running like I already know. And it allows me to prioritize things a lot easier. Yeah. So I think that that's one of those funny life access. Just kind of organized your mind. Well, before you've even tried to organize, remind yourself. Have you ever taken the Clifton? Oh, heard of the Clifton strength? Find a test. Okay, I feel like, OK, like these, Like matrices And like, Yeah, So is this is this very famous test that's been taken for, I don't know, 50 years And what not? And there's I think, 32 potential strengths that each individual has. And then you take a, like, a personality test kind of thing, and it tells you your top five. But there's, like, four regions. You can either have strength and strategy. Strength in influence. Strengthen relationships. Yes. You need to do it. Listeners tell me to do this. You need to get on sales of the gems that people don't know. They Clifton strength, find a test, and then yet he could have string for execution. And I feel like people like you who are able to write a toss list every darn day and on follow through it in the next day, you probably have a lot of strength and execution, like in getting things done. I took the test. And also like, best thing off my my professional is knowing that who I am And then whatever it is, I'm we cat is not the end of the world because this stuff I'm strong at like it gives you a different things you can hold. You can hold it on your on your strength. And I have strength in like influence. I'm very good at like this kind of stuff. I have strengthened strategy. I have strength in relationship relationship zero in execution. So this world off, right? A tasking solid way. But when my coworkers who I love Morning routine Wake up, June caught You heard what water Eyes like the king thing. I didn't roll out of bed like I mean, like I heard what waters That the king. But this kind of thing is not so. It doesn't come naturally for me to do this kind of women every day. We come with six am I drink water, Just spin on the ground three times. So I just wanted to highlight that this could be a strength that you don't know. You have disciplined inability toe, get things done. And it's also useful to take this test because, professionally, you start to, I don't know, go towards like you develop an affinity towards roles that you leave is a strength that you have, like, for me. I've started realising even in building the African pod cost, start realizing that your strategies might think like women. If I just strategy and like dreaming like I just need to sit down, create sandcastles in my mind and charge a part of how we're going to build those causes like I am high on that. It's when we need doing brick by Blake s. And that's it, right, cause because this whole time you effectively, you're doing your career disservice by trying to do things. Or, you know, people force you down paths that you know really good, all right. And you develop some kind of like, I don't pulling insecurity complex about yourself where you feel like you're inadequate war, whatever like that's. That's exactly because you know, Look, I work in banking and look, the high flying guys and banking are dudes who do trade. Let's say for is with Guys will execute trade Andi But they're like pure specialists, right? I've never really had the benefit, Let's say off knowing what I wanted to specialize in from an early point, I knew I was good at a range of things that you had a high aptitude at applying myself right, and that that was enough. But for the most part, I was. I knew I was going to go on a discovery off you. You picking up what I'm good at and and kind of developing. Those trends may be moving on pivoting somewhere else, but it's a gradual kind of person. It's a gradual process. We and turn towards the things you Really Where are you in that process? Now? That's how I felt when I was writing my thesis at sea for like, what do you do? You counsel? I remember halfway through my dissertation. No, not doing it. Yeah, just catch. If I just moved to Cyberia dating on this dissertations like you take a guess. You have failed that great things is an example you are setting. Yeah, yeah, a word with you again. Your career. You decide when your career goes taking you She? Yeah, you see and hear how it goes left. So I think on that particular journey, Um, what I've done are my career journey anyway, is I accepted that I was gonna go the generalised path to begin with? I knew there's a particularly industry I was particularly I was interested in which was financed because I wanted to know how to finance, Let's say, capital markets. So banking because I really want to know how the money markets work in the world. What are the decisions people make to move money here to point A is at a point, right? How it just grows legs from nothing, right? If you know a little bit off for finance, you just know, like it's weird how values created from virtually nothing, and somehow it keeps getting traded and traded and traded until the whole system and fail based off What? Yeah, virtually nothing. So I was interested in that just because we you know, we come from from a place where money is not really handled in the best of way. You know, if one person is corrupt, that breaks the whole system. But, you know, in the Western world, there's a lot of sort of reference checks, the right sort of capital within the system. And there's multiple points where it could break, and it generally doesn't tend to break too often. Right? S. So I was interested in that just money management. So I knew that was a fundamental part of what I was trying to do. What, Within money I wanted to do. I didn't know. So I went through the generous sort of route wells. Okay, I need to be a busy Dallas to learn, sort of all assets going up a graduate program we took, pick and choose which area working in and then gradually start to refine. So I'll stay. I'm still on a generalised path. But nowadays where I think I'm where I'm finding real sort of legs in is problem solving. So we're going for going for complex problems that can be solved by sort of digital solutions. And now that is the direction we're heading. As I guess, the general direction most companies are going, it is sort of this digitally focused Robert way. We need to make things more efficient. We need to make things more, I guess faster or less less so. No, right, Right, Make some savings along the way. I feel like I'm going towards that direction. It's pretty industry agnostic, which I like some kind of turning to this project based person. You could do a project in any exactly who can kind of just go in, understand situation on structure it and then kind of rewrite the script effective. I think this is something that we're not told. Or at least let me speak from actor my arm bringing. You're not told that this is okay. You know this generalised pop, you're not told that it's It's okay. Like, for example, in the education system that I went through, which is like throughout Zimbabwe. You do what Nicola levels, which is like seven. Anything from 7 to 12 subjects different subjects in different areas and then in your like 16 and then when you finish your own levels, you are expected to basically specialize and kids you have to pick three subjects and those subjects in so many ways kind of determined where on earth your life is going like, you know what? You're making this decision at 17. And I remember going through that pressure because I had, like, I had the same grade for everything. So when I got my own levels, I had 11 off the same year. Great leverage. So I didn't first. Yes, you know, I'm trying to be humble, that's what. But yes, So I I remember going through this pressure where it's like, technically, I could do like science is technically could also do like Lionel do history and whatever geography. But, like, I had to make that decision that whatever 16. And then I made the same. A swell wasn't a mistake against, but when I When you finish, when you now like in the last year of high school again, you're faced with the same pressures off like Oh, so what you going to do for university? And it's always in this involved in context, on, particularly in the kind of school that I went to, which is very academic. It's not like Are you going to be a doctor lawyer? You know, on if you picked sciences like, are you gonna be doctor, engineer, pharmacist. And that's just Curries. That's just it should be okay to go through this like generalised pot either. I don't know in turn for the 1st 2 years, and Germans do this quite often. I know you, Olivia, but this is something I hear a lot from Germans where they went and they repaired in America and then came back. Or they did like, an apprenticeship for three years and then went to uni. We don't have this enough in Zimbabwe. I think we need this exploratory. This exploratory roots when you can take your time, Teoh, get to know what your strength all like, really Get yourself on. Just take it from there. But I haven't another question. Yeah, What percentage off you? What percent of percentage of green I 26 is? Your career is defined by your very little really know. Very little, but, you know, under 50% outs. Okay. What's that? What? I feel like what? I'm not I'm not I'm not doing the things that represent me to the fullest yet. I'm not. One represents to the so how could? For technical like you say you have a bit of a problem when you're like, you know, you're good generalised You could You kind of become this renaissance man. You can play instruments. You could run out on the sports field. You could get that. But can you play complaining? Okay. I was really excited about that. Um, So what What are the things that I'm not doing that do that? Um, So I wanted to actually be an architect for as long as I probably can remember. Um, just because that's what I felt like represented me best in the sense that it combined sort of this technical science with this technical sort of aspect and also this sort of creative vibe, which allows you to kind of explore different forms and how it could all come together and how it comports. I dont want to be an architect, just kind of bring these two worlds together. And I feel like that then kind of fully went the technical side. And I just like, you know, what I'm gonna do computing and management and end up in the world of sort of businessman finance and let's see what happens there. But there's this sort of gaping hole myself that's sort of a creative and cares about creating content and doing things that people can consume and enjoy. And the best part about sort of creating content is you get to kind of measure all the things you love. Just roll them in tow, rolled them into one and just send it out to the world and see what happens on. You're not particularly looking for any validation. Most daring. Does he enjoy your just doing because you enjoy its proper passion filled. So I feel like the creative content side of the creative side of me hasn't really sort of evolved much since high school days. That's why I feel like I'm pretty underrepresented in regards to get do today and how much of my character that makes up. You're like biggest fear. This is We're vulnerable. Yeah, you know, let's listen into that right? So So let's let's on the sort of career bribes and known this sort of maybe on the more serious commercial vibes and just into, I guess, the emotional side say right. Um, my biggest fear is, I think, for the longest time was not being good enough. All right, all right. Don't be good enough like a lot of people could relate to that I think Right, either. You're just so afraid of not being prepared enough for just about anything on. But I think that the one area where that stands out most has to be relationships because most other things going in the pressure. Most of the things you going if you know you think until you make it what I gave you have become boys with your boss or something like that. But like I think relationships like a constant interviews like it's a day in, day out. This is a question you don't have to answer. Have you had points in your life where you actually felt like you had failed like you hadn't been good? Always is just like an illusion in your mind. Who is that? That's a hard one to answer. Off course. There are always points where you feel like you haven't been good enough. Maybe you just being too self critical. Or you, James, you haven't been good enough, right? So there are always points when you feel like that and sometimes no violent, so you can't take too much. You can't read too much into it because you know, you just being hard on yourself or you looked way too much into it. And it's sort of a combination of things that has resulted in you not being good enough with this, right. Universities happen. But I'll say I would say my biggest fit like having didn't just moving away from talking about work and stuff like that. My biggest fear. What I treated this day was one of them, anyway, that I can think of right now is imagine. You think you've found your person? No. If you think you've found your person and then they haven't found their person yet. Oh, I thought you were going to say you think you found your person and you find out they put tomatoes sores like ketchup way have Teoh, are you like in the middle? Do you dip like chips or do you did much okay because you're not here, OK, But you know, that's really, really tough. That's really tough, but I feel like that's something That's something a lot of people can relate to. And I think it's something a lot of people have survived. Like you think you're gonna die like you. You go through that and judges wants me now. Yeah, it's a crazy one, but that is really deep. That is a tough one. Yes, that's one of the things I think about, like, because, for the most part, your control or you, you've You know, you have a larger degree of control on everything you know, the types of things you're working on and and friendships, right? Right. But there's a part that kind of isn't in control of who you like. Yeah, And when it comes to your career, you can set up like nine contingency plans. Like plan a pen being through Teoh three to l, right? Yeah, that's a very, very deep. So both your deepest fears, more less all connected to relationships? Uh, yeah. I mean, not being good enough can apply to a number of things, but yeah, like this'll, one is getting tons of hits home, but yes, right at the end. I had such a good time hanging out with you, but I got one more patient vision. If you were to write your your biography was to be written like right now. But 26 year old going, I What would be name is no easy question. It's not was a singer. Was this in your notes? Yes, I like to catch the guests off God. Different kind of hospitality here. I think it will be something. Something along the lines off the story of two sides, like heads. No tails kind of five. Okay, just me, because there's, you know, there's been sort of almost like two sides of off my story effectively. Oh, right, there's always this. There's been sort of the leading narrative. And then there's been other things that have taken me off my course. So this was the wrapping up. But we might way you know, this. This is the story of details where it's like eating narrative in the vision that I have for myself. And you know that the vision that I've always felt like my life is gonna go in that direction. I was for my life's gonna go in. But then, you know everything else has come in along the way and kind of potentially pulled me off course and some Sometimes I have to steer myself back when you say pulled you off course things that come in the way Would life like decisions or it's like external things, like decisions you may or like external things, that you didn't have any control? Yeah, I think the combination of both that yeah decisions you makes. Maybe some are wrong calls I can think of maybe particularly like to wrong cores that have made it doesn't matter. But anyway, like I can't think of too particularly wrong cold made red things could have gone completely different. And then there's other sort of more circumstantial issues. Like, for example, you know, one thing we haven't really touched on quite a bit is is where we come from, which is imp on the particular state that Zimbabwe's in I for for a long for a long period of my life. I actually thought, you know, most of my my destiny was bound in Zimbabwe in the sense that, you know, I was gonna build large possible career there really established before I then kind of come out to the world stage. Let's see or rather, it always all my roads kind of lead back to their, but the older I get them like you're I'm getting further for their way in that from from Zimbabwe just because of the state it's in. And it's kind of perennial deterioration, right? It makes it pretty difficult to kind of not now plan your life in a way that you that has Zimbabwe involved in it. This is something that a lot of people a lot off now onions, immigrants non, Do you? I don't know if immigrants is the right word. Immigrants, expats, not immigrants. Not expressed, Don't understand is that at the very core, off the average involved wind average, African ever South African whatever Nigerian, is this strong passion and strong desire to actually go home and hold these things? We're discovering about yourselves all these skills or leasing, learning the very core If you you think of them in the context of how you could use that at home on the fact that you end up making the decision not to do that is actually a consolation price, as opposed to be like, you know, there is always that celebrating way how we made it. But it's actually a consolation prizes. Okay, I'm going to make this work because this is what makes the most sense at the moment. But like deep down at the core were like this hurt they my boss it we I This means so much to me, but probably even more toe All the people who enjoy this is colonization like thank you so much. Taking just time to hang out with the effort. I'm grateful for the things This is a place where we shamelessly plug whatever. So this is your time to shine Whatever your mixtape thing, whatever it is. Yes, so Twitter at Maxima cum laude. But actually going back to name thing is also good company. But any Max Michael Moore, you'll find me there. That's why Twitter It's pretty sanitised so you won't find any extras on then. I do quite a lot of writing. So you find me on medium. It's medium slash gm a camera or green I tm on mediums like write a number of think pieces. Some quite seem focused as well. Another's Africa focus. Others just generally Korea based focused. And lastly, I'm still learning to sort of cut and edit videos. Oh, uh, yeah. So soon there will potentially be a YouTube hit a knot. Thank you so much.
spk_0: 48:45
This if you were still here At this point, it might be because you enjoyed yourself eso like, why don't you just do the right thing and subscribe Like I'm not trying to tell you what to do with your life. I'm just in. Clearly you caught on to this vibe, and we can keep this going like it doesn't have to add. Just subscribe so that you know, when the next episode comes up. So, yeah, there you go. Also feel free to recommend the part cost to a friend so that they can also enjoy themselves the way you just did. You feel me? But yeah, I'm about to head out. I will be back again in exactly two weeks. My next guests name is Sun Sea. And him and I are going to talk about growing up Afro German because he was born here, but also a lot of Korea development and personal development stuff, because that's something he is incredibly passionate about. So make sure you tune in, and until then by