We answer some questions we have got through reddit, fakebook and friends. Please keep asking those if you want our opinions. Best part, Gid take on working, Ashton love of messy home made noodles and dad don't tip for that.
We answer some questions we have got through reddit, fakebook and friends. Please keep asking those if you want our opinions. Best part, Gid take on working, Ashton love of messy home made noodles and dad don't tip for that.
I want. I want a job with a whole bunch of freedom and stuff like this, is at least my point of view, but a lot of people can be happy doing some of the jobs that you might not expect, like being anything, a social worker, somebody who, a computer programmer, a lot of them can be happy with just the fact that they have comfort, and I know from what I've learned that happiness comes from self worth. Love it. So, as long as you feel like your job is helping yourself and helping other people and is worth something
Dad:Welcome to adulting decrypted the show where we help adults become powerhouses for life like a
Ashton:mitochondria.
Dad:That's right Today we've got a kind of a cool episode going on. We're gonna take some of our listener questions and and Instead of just answering them on Reddit and Facebook, we're actually going to sit down and have a conversation and share those with you. So the first question that came to us is, how do I love myself more and be an overall happier person? First off, that's a great question. It is a fun question, isn't it? Well,
Gid:it's probably a question a lot of us have thought of before. Actually... Kind of funny, I wrote down in my own little journal that I have this morning. I want to get back into writing down my goals and whatnot. But I wrote down that every time I walk through a doorway, I want to smile. And it's an example that I've, I've heard in a different book where you walk through a doorway and you, you fix your posture, you stand up straight so you look presentable and good. Great for meeting new people and whatnot. But I just thought that'd be interesting. Is to, to walk through doorway and smile. And I know scientifically it's proven. I don't have any data, but I know it's proven that smiling, even when you maybe aren't feeling great, helps your situation. I know it has for me in the past.
Dad:Great. I love it.
Ashton:So smile more. my thought with that, it goes back to something we talked about a while ago about how we should, haha, avoid shoulds because I know for me, a lot of my negative experiences with myself come from me saying I should be doing this, I should be doing that. And that, and, and. If you think about that sort of self talk and how it would be relative to you speaking to someone else, like if you and yourself were two different people, and every time you saw yourself you said to them, Oh, you should be doing this. You should be doing that. You would hate that person. You wouldn't want to hang out with them. And that's really what you're doing to yourself. And so for me, getting over the shoulds. And in our other episode where we talk about this, I think it's a word debate, we talk about switching shoulds for needs and wants because saying you need to do something and you want to do something, have a little, have a better perspective, on life.'cause if you want to do something, it norm, it doesn't feel like you're being pushed to do it, except for from a positive place. So I think if you're trying to love yourself more, try and see what things are making you love yourself less in that, as you're speaking to yourself and, and try and switch how you're talking to yourself.
Dad:Great answers, both of you. You know, and the other thing I'd add to that as the dad, I would say be patient with yourself. Realize that this life is a journey. It's not a quick, short, fast process. Realize that, yeah, you're going to wake up some mornings and you're going to. Look at your phone and you're going to spend an hour on tick tock and you're gonna be real irritated and frustrated and go Why did I just waste that hour? Well the quicker you can forgive yourself and say look, yeah I made a mistake now it's time to move on put in the other practices in place which smiling as you're going new places and as you stop worrying about the should and other people judging you and Thinking what you could and couldn't do the sooner you forgive yourself and move on I think that will help in that whole situation great answers great conversations Something that
Ashton:I think can, aid in that too in forgiving yourself is you don't know what you don't know. you know that you probably shouldn't be spending all your time on social media. Like, with a lot of other, that's not the only thing. It's the thing that's probably referenced the most. In podcasts and in motivational speaking one of my sources of negative self taught come from Feeling like I'm not as far as I should be in career and in life practices But I have to try and take comfort in the fact that I don't know what I don't know yet There's more to be learned in life So forgiving yourself for what you don't know and not holding yourself accountable for something that you don't know
Dad:Well, yeah, it's easy at 50 to look back and judge my 25 year old self for some of the decisions I made You know, 25 years later going, Oh, I shouldn't have done that. It's really easy to do that, but is it fair to be beat myself up? No, cause I didn't know that. Hey, I tell you when I was graduating high school, I teased my brothers that computers were a fad. Little did I know that they're running everything from my podcast to my, phone to my everywhere. So yeah, good point. It's a fad that never left. Perfect. Thank you listener for that question. Yeah. Go listener. And the next question we got is how many of you actually like your job?
Ashton:That's a good question. I've thought about this myself actually, recently. You look excited.
Gid:I don't know. I like, I like to think about statistics a lot and it's interesting. A lot more people like their job than, you know, I would expect, at least me personally would expect because I always hear everybody hates their job. And so, you know, I want. I want a job with a whole bunch of freedom and stuff like this, is at least my point of view, but a lot of people can be happy doing some of the jobs that you might not expect, like being anything, a social worker, somebody who, a computer programmer, a lot of them can be happy with just the fact that they have comfort, and I know from what I've learned that happiness comes from self worth. Love it. So, as long as you feel like your job is helping yourself and helping other people and is worth something, then,
Dad:then you can. You know, they, they say that one man's trash is another man's treasure. So I like that sometimes, Gideon, I think your point that you're making there that I really latched onto is just because I love it doesn't mean that you'll love it. Right? I might, I might hate it. I might think, Oh man, I could never do that job. And it brings you a lot of self fulfillment. That's a great, great observation. Like I can never teach music would drive me bat. Crap, crazy. Hey, you know literally to those who do it still does
Ashton:I think something important to hang on to there too is
Dad:saying just real quick before you go sure even the job you love that you're passionate about Still has days that feel like work. Yeah,
Ashton:The famous quote that probably this person's hanging over their head is If you do what you love, you'll never work a day in your life. The things that we love the most are the things we work the most for, and the things that take the most sacrifice. If you like, if you truly love something, you'll sacrifice for that thing, and you'll do very hard things to keep that. And so the good thing with that is, is if you're working a job that you don't like, like you really, you get nothing from it. For me, when I was working at Walmart, I got nothing except a ton of steps and a ton of time to listen to books. So those things worked out great for me, but aside from like loading up cars could not have cared less about all that. And so
Dad:I'll tell you the job you hated was the night shift. Oh,
Ashton:that's true. Actually, there was nothing rewarding about that job because I couldn't have headphones either. I worked a night shift it was a, it was a temp gig, and it was a full, time night job. I worked there for a total of two nights, and proceeded to ghost them on everything else, because I was like, this sucks. If you have a job where, it's not rewarding at all, you're still gonna put in just as much work to that job as the thing that you would love, but the difference is, the job you love, After you've worked through all the pain and that effort you'll get a product that you love out of it So like last year and speaking on the job that I love I was teaching some kids and they were just so far behind like they were to the level where It had been so long since I was at their level, I didn't know what to, how to teach them what they needed to know. And that was super, frustrating. It would, it would be like sitting in a primary classroom and saying to a kid, Hey, that color's red. And then they pointed at blue and be like, red? And you're like, no, the one that's right is red. It was that level. And so that was really frustrating. But then six months later most of those kids kept going and they got to the point where they were able to put together a show that they just absolutely
Dad:knocked out of the park. Oh, so they could identify red.
Ashton:Yeah. By the end of the season. That part was rewarding and now had it, been working this night shift of checking stupid bottles for QR codes that I could barely see. Cause you're
Dad:sweating into
Ashton:your goggles. Yeah, and I wasn't allowed to wear headphones. That was the worst part. I probably would have been okay with that job if I could have listened to music, but since it was like an assembly line or something, it's against OSHA or something. But, but yeah, so once... Stupid government. There's never a reward at the end of that. At the end of that road, but if you're working for something that you love it will suck for a little bit then if you truly love it the reward that you get will at the end will be worth it So if you're asking yourself like oh i'm not loving every minute of your job. I don't think you're supposed to Easier said than done. But yeah, my my advice would be one identify if The work you're putting in is getting a reward out of it that you want if it's just financial compensation great But if it's like something beyond that Ask yourself if your work's giving you that and then if it's not switch it up. No one's stopping you
Dad:You know, it's it's an interesting. Yeah, I think we're kind of skewed. I've skewed you guys i've told you since you're a little bit A job is like a car. As long as it's taking you to your destination, keep the car. Once it stops going where you need it to go, get rid of the car and get a different car. You know, it's not like being married, it's not like buying a house. A job is a job. Now, that being said, there are some downsides to living like that. I've had 21 different jobs in 25 years of a working career. Now
Ashton:momentary lapses in health insurance.
Dad:Yeah, but, but a lot of mine. Yeah. And that's only because of this new change in government laws. Don't get me started. So back to what we're talking about, the reality is, is I've stayed with certain things for a long time. I've also just launched a bunch of side projects and try to make them work because of my entrepreneurial spirit. I do believe what you said, Ashton, where, you know, Hey, it's, it's just a job. Go ahead and feel free to change, but stick with it. See if the rewards there. And then Gideon, I think you brought up a very strong point, which is not everybody's going to like the same thing. So we don't baseline against each other for a job. And the statistics used to say about three years ago that 52% of the people were unhappy with the current job, but were afraid to change sorry, COVID happened. We have a lot of silent quits and a lot of things like that, which I'm totally against. I think if you're, if you're not happy with your job, it's time to move on. I, but on the same token, I believe employers should be able to move on to if you're not working out. So to answer that question, do you like your job or not? I think that's a personal thing. And if you don't, I think it's time to change. And then if you don't know how to change, go listen to some of our habit episodes, go listen to some of our other. Things that we've talked about that will help you make the right career choice
Ashton:our et episode would be good too It is really good because you're defining yourself. I
Gid:actually just for the people who like statistics I just looked it up And it says that 65 of people like their jobs but only 20 Of us employees say that they're passionate
Dad:about their work. Well, that's awesome. 65 is a huge jump I bet you if you pulled that number back And look, we're in a day and age now where it's easier to change jobs than it ever was before. You know before once you got into a job, you didn't know where the next one was. You didn't know what your career was, but 52% of y'all want to have side gigs. So it's not, where we're at is not uncommon. Gideon, thank you for sharing that. Great, great question, listener. Really, really good conversation. Next, next question from a listener. Does anyone just sit and think that they are not adulting enough? Yes. Yeah, for example, this is what the listener says. Like when it comes to things like finances. And speaking to agents about home buying, home and auto insurance, et cetera, can sometimes be challenging when they're explaining things and not using terms that others can understand. Like when does doctors use a fancy term to set us something that is dumbed down? Ashton, go ahead. You started with the resounding yes. Remind me what the question was. Does anyone just sit and think they're not adulting enough? Oh yeah. And then it talked about finances and home buying and.
Ashton:That's kind of it. Yes. There's just so much. There's just so much going on in adulting like it's such a deep pool to try and swim in and it just feels so easy to drown or just feel like you're not a part of it Cuz there's just so many layers That's, yeah, I don't have a solution to that one, but I mean, I've, I've definitely felt that.
Gid:Kind of what Ashton was saying. It's really helpful just to know that you're not alone in your struggles. And that really goes with anything. But even in this case, like, yeah, adulting sucks. It's hard sometimes. And, you know, calling your doctor, not sharing, not, not sure what they're saying. I know Ashton's done this before and we talked about it in a different episode, he's like, He asked the person, he's like, please just explain this to me like I was five years old. Like, dumb it down, please, for me, and a lot of people are happy to. Not, well, some people might get annoyed, but you know, a lot of people are nice and are happy to explain.
Dad:I'll tell you what we love giving advice, the older we get, the more we think we can help because we feel like we've been there, done that. So I love that you talked about asking for help. Ashton, I like the point that you said, look, there's so much. And I'd really recommend the listener on that one to go back and listen to some of our different episodes. They deep dive and it's interesting that I wish the listener could follow us around because after our episodes We will sit there and actually go wait a second. We talked about this. I don't quite understand this principle Even though we talked about it now that I've had a day or two to digest it I'm still kind of confused and it's because there is a lot going on Sabrina and I took Oh, maybe an hour and a half yesterday going through her benefits that she got from school and how to make sure she signed up and actually getting all of her benefits. And at the end of the day, we ended up having to call somebody and she did great. You know, she, she used the tool she heard in our episode, but I think all of us feel a little bit like we're frotting at this adult thing, but guess what? So am I right? We put a lot of pressure on Ashton saying, Hey, get your health insurance, get your health insurance. And then come to find out, not qualifying for Medicare is a qualifying event. So welcome to adulting. You're going to feel overwhelmed at times. All right. Here's the another listener question. Are homemade noodles that much better than normal noodles? I recently found that homemade noodles are kind of less expensive than pre made ones. I love that
Ashton:question. Depends on what, what, what you're making.
Gid:And mom's homemade noodles for chicken noodle soup that are like half an inch thick. And like quarter minutes tall are just glorious.
Ashton:Yeah, but can you imagine trying to eat a spaghetti?
Gid:No, I cannot it's definitely
Ashton:Like those are cheap cheap noodles would be amazing But spaghetti noodles from the store if you're just making yourself a spaghetti or an alfredo They don't really miss
Gid:and even though it might be cheaper You also got to think about the time Like the time it would take to make your own noodles and if you want to do that as a hobby Go for it. Like, that's dope. Especially, like, if it's cheaper and you have fun making your own noodles, go for it. Really, whatever. I
Ashton:would say make your own noodles. If you want to. It's fun. I did it when I was out of the country once. And I remember my hands were super sticky. When you, to make some homemade noodles you take flour and egg and stuff.
Dad:For egg
Ashton:noodles, yeah. Yeah, yeah, for egg noodles. And I was making them and we didn't have enough ingredients. So I went to one of my roommates and I said, Hey. Can you just go ask the neighbors for some stuff? He walked out and came back in, and he was like, no! And so I had to make noodles without all the ingredients. This turned out okay, but it was pretty funny.
Dad:I can't remember which one, that's why I'm looking blankly. Showed me a tiktok video where they made their own noodles, but they started by taking it was me I taking noodles and breaking them up and then and then and then kind of mushing them together and then making noodles?
Ashton:Essentially they replaced the new the flour with other noodles that had been made which is just the dumbest
Dad:idea Yeah, so so my take on homemade noodles. These are great in some dishes and others. I'm with Ashton It's not worth the effort energy to buy this stuff. You need to make a pasta noodle But once again, you, the listener, get to decide how you best want to do that. With that
Ashton:being said, if you get deep into making your own noodles, listener we kindly request that you send us some of your homemade noodles.
Gid:I like that, actually.
Dad:Here's a question from a listener feeling uncomfortable. 1st time working. I've started working for a few weeks now. My 1st job after graduation last year. Let me tell you, it is depressing. I feel so uncomfortable doing the routine waking up early in the morning. Returning home to rest only to go back to work the next day. I get so anxious at work I'm scared that I'll make a mistake. I can't imagine doing this for the rest of my life What advice would you give a listener?
Ashton:Thinking back on experiences where I was working True nine to five or even going to school every day like that sort of stuff can be can be draining I think the advice there, now that I'm thinking about it, is find hobbies, you know like something to, to kind of reset you every time you get home make friends with co workers at work sometimes people go to work, stay in their little bubble, and then they go home, and that, that makes waking up and getting, If you know that when you get there, homeboy James is gonna be there and y'all are gonna have a laugh, then, you know, show up and have a laugh. Might make it a little easier. So, that's my advice. Either find a hobby or make friends with your co workers.
Gid:Call them homeboys. So, I think my answer to this is a little bit different. I think it might be important to go and look at your own goals and... Job interviews, the classic question, or at least a stereotypical question would be, where do you see yourself in 5 to 10 years? And it would be important to answer that question for yourself and even write it down. So then, when you're going to that, that job or, or you wake up and you're like, this is just like, this is so mundane, you can think about your own future and, and what you can do to get there. And then I feel like as long as you're working on something that you deem matters I think it can help your situation, but yeah. I've definitely felt felt that way before.
Dad:Perfect, thank you. Yeah, my, my advice on something like that would be, I like to ask you about hobbies. Very critical, especially if it's your first job, and you know that's what you're going to do. Gideon, I love that you said look at your personal goals, and as it get, help me get to those goals, then you look at it in a means to an end, and then the final challenge that I'd give the the listener would be. Try and cut out the rest of my life in that statement. You know, is this the job that can help me get to where I want to go? Versus think, oh, is this the job for the rest of my life? And the reason why to me that feels like such a big difference it's maybe not my whole thing, but at least it will help me get there. Oh, that's, that's the only thing that I would take out of there to realize that it's not free entirely. Okay. Oh, go ahead. Have you ever question is, have you ever reached a point of not caring what people think? For sure the, this, that's the main question. I forgot to shave my legs, my toenails are chipping and there are a bunch of calluses. Adulting is already busy and I just can't seem to slow down.
Ashton:Yeah, I already don't care. So, it's fine. Like first up, this sounds like it's a feminine question. I don't know. I know some guys who shave their legs
Gid:Why are you looking at me? Oh, no reason. I have porcupine legs right now. I forgot to
Ashton:I mean you just got to pick your battles It's okay to not care about some things and it's important to care about others so you're not worried about the fact that you have Porcupine legs and it doesn't matter to you if people care or not then that's fine, you know But if you don't if you don't care that you have, poorly pedicured toes or something like And you're not worried about other people caring, then that's totally fine. There's times and places to present yourself nicely. It's also important to be yourself. You don't have to... It's exhausting to try and please other people your whole life. So I, I think it's important to to not take yourself too seriously when it comes to appearances and, and such.
Gid:Yeah, I think my answer kind of fits in with the last section of your answer, Ashton, in words, as long as you feel like yourself, because you're normally the person who, where you yourself care about you know, being properly shaven and manicured, then sometimes when you aren't, you just feel like you're not organized or that something's a little bit off, even though you might not know what it is. So I think it's also important to not change yourself, but. So, to answer the question, yes. On certain things. Sometimes it, it matters in maybe a job interview, what the person hiring you thinks. But in most of my situations, it's more important to be myself than to
Dad:try and please other people. A quote that goes along with that, that made a big difference to me is when I stopped buying things to impress people that I don't like was pretty freeing because I realized, look, I get to choose what adulting looks like to me. I get to choose what I define as success. Not what do other people think, but will my appearance and will my preparation, what I put out into the world, will it get the result that I want to get? So it's not that I don't care what other people think, but I have to look and say, okay how are people going to perceive me showing up looking like this? How are people going to perceive me sending this email? Because I need to impress them. I want to impress them. I want that to get that goal, but I'm not going to, I don't care what they think of my house necessarily or my boat or my cars. Right. Because I do that stuff for me. I think that's freeing when you decide, and I think that goes back to what you're saying, Ashton. When you decide what's critical and what's important and when it's important, then I think you've actually made it as an adult because now you can look at life objectively and you're not doing counter things, just saying, look, I want to piss people off. I'm going to dress like this. I'm going to act like this, but it's freeing in the sense that you get to decide. All right. Let's take the last question that was posed. Tipping. Seems like everywhere has a tip jar now
Ashton:if you have not waited a table that I'm sitting at, or done a service that I could not have conceivably come back behind the counter and done myself, then I'm not tipping. If I go to a fast food restaurant, and the person that just rang me up at the cash register asks for a tip, I'm not paying that because I could have walked behind the register and done that tip myself. I would tip though if I was at a restaurant and someone was waiting four or five different tables and they took care of mine Well, because they're doing a bunch of extra work and that's built into their industry that they make money off their tips the little soda shacks It's not built into their industry that their employees live off of tips as far as I know and I could I could go be a soda jerk myself, so That's my opinion I think the tipping culture has gone a little excessive, especially with how much tipping costs now too. I, that's
Gid:where I'm at. Yeah, I, I think I agree. It depends on the environment that you're in. Cause I have seen a lot of my friends go into the fast food type of jobs, not necessarily waiters or waitresses. Cause like you said, that's different where a lot of their pay is based off of tips. For fast food, I know what people get paid for tips, so I, I don't mind saying no tip to the person, you know, who just rung me up at Costa Vida, where I'm like, you really, you just, you said, Oh, here's your food.
Ashton:I was it's
Dad:pretty frustrating because they say, 15 an hour plus tips and. They don't know what those tips are gonna be, you know, and and but she goes I wouldn't tip us It doesn't make any sense. We didn't do anything to earn that extra tip We didn't do anything to help you or to increase the value.
Ashton:Yeah, it doesn't hurt the employer none to put that tip thing up there I mean, well, I think it
Dad:more. Well, I think it does. I think it gives you a bad taste I mean a lot of people are frustrated with it You know, JCW, which is one of my, one of the hamburger joints that I really like here locally, took it off. They don't even ask it.
Gid:I was so excited when I went there. I was like, it's not there
Dad:anymore. Yeah, so, so you're right. It doesn't make people not go to the restaurant. But it is kind of irritating when somebody goes, oh, here, and they spin it over to you. And, and they're like, and they stand there and look at you and you're like, no. And then the auto fill is pretty dirty too. Cause it's how much it puts in there. So I think it's really forcing us all to watch our credit card a little bit better and make sure that the receipt comes out right. I think it's, so I don't think it's a bad thing, but I don't think it's necessary. Now that being said, I think because we've gone over the top with tipping culture, I think that people are going to stop tipping at nicer restaurants where they really should be tipping. I had a guy that was serving mom and I at Texas Roadhouse. My gift card was for 25. My meal was 22. So I put a, 5 more on a, on a credit card charge, because it, but most people would probably say, Oh, well, 23. I give him a 1. 50 tip. That's close enough. Well, no, that guy just. But his time, energy and effort, and he's only getting paid two or 3 an hour versus the kid behind the counter that makes 17 an hour at Costa Vida. And then is wondering why I didn't just give him 5 tip when they didn't do anything. My two cents on tip or 5.