Ep 6 - Biblical Fatherhood continued

In this episode we discuss what it was like growing up as kids and how we can relate to our kids in this crazy world!

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Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):

Welcome to the Make A Man Podcast, where we explore what it means to be a man in today's society. Welcome your hosts, Brett, RJ and Caleb. Alright guys, welcome back to the Make A Man Podcast. We're going to continue our conversation about fatherhood. Are you excited?

Speaker 2 (00:20):

Always.

Speaker 1 (00:21):

Are you excited, Caleb? I am. Because you're like me and RJ combined. Do you have more kids than us?

Speaker 3 (00:29):

That's true. That's true.

Speaker 1 (00:31):

He's

Speaker 2 (00:32):

The most sane. I think you're the most sane out of all of us. You're the quietest of the three of,

Speaker 1 (00:36):

You're the quietest out of the three of us. Yeah, probably That was a conversation I think RJ and I had before, is that me and RJ are the extroverts in our relationships.

Speaker 2 (00:50):

Yeah,

Speaker 1 (00:51):

You're the introvert in yours.

Speaker 2 (00:53):

He's the one,

Speaker 1 (00:54):

You're the quiet. Very much so.

Speaker 2 (00:55):

Yep.

Speaker 1 (00:56):

Jesse's a lot louder than you.

Speaker 4 (00:59):

Yep. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:00):

But we love you, Jesse, if you listen to this. But yeah, no, we're going to continue the conversation on fatherhood and stuff you've experienced. And one of the things that kind of triggered me, what triggered, that's not a right word, phrasing. That triggered a thought, maybe, I dunno.

Speaker 2 (01:17):

Hashtag triggered.

Speaker 1 (01:18):

Hashtag triggered. Pound sign. Pound sign. It was a pound sign when I grew up. But yeah, I used to when I was, I dunno, 10, 11, 12. I mean, I had, the cops called on me when I was nine. I know, believe it or not, me and my buddy Adam at the time were, this was during the home alone years, and we would set up

Speaker 2 (01:46):

Booby traps. I did the same thing.

Speaker 1 (01:48):

Yeah,

Speaker 2 (01:48):

Mine were really gross, but

Speaker 1 (01:50):

Yours were gross. Mine, I didn't have a lot of stuff. I had rope and if I could find a razor knife, I could, I'd call him razor knife, box cutter, whatever. But my dad would at least buy me those. But we would go and dig out in the, because there was a park down the street from my house. This is when my parents were really poor and we were in the process of building a house, but it took like a year. My dad would do it after work. And so we were living in a camper, like a 20 foot camper, the five of us. So we were all on the floor sleeping. It was like we went in, there was a little living room area, mini kitchen area, and then the bedroom. That was it.

Speaker 2 (02:31):

Wow.

Speaker 1 (02:32):

So it was a little crown, but so we were encouraged to go down to the park a lot. Of course. So me and my buddy Adam would build booby traps in the trees and then some neighbor,

Speaker 3 (02:45):

A public park

Speaker 1 (02:46):

At a public park. What are you trying to say? They're Caleb.

Speaker 2 (02:51):

I could see

Speaker 3 (02:51):

Why the cops were called on you, right? Some fatherly direction. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (02:56):

Well, he worked a lot, so I needed something to do. But yeah, we would do that and just play baseball and all that. But yeah, we did have, the cops called on us. Luckily we were actually new, the local sheriff. And so when he called us, it was basically a conversation. He did this wrong and we didn't get arrested or anything. We were nine years old, but it was me and my buddy Adam were grounded from each other for two weeks, so we couldn't see each other or hang out. And then a couple years later, we moved to a different house and the area we lived in had a hundred acres. It was a horse community. The whole community had, there was an equestrian center and everything.

Speaker 4 (03:41):

Oh,

Speaker 1 (03:41):

Cool. We didn't have horses, but we would still go out to the woods, go ride our bikes, and then park at the entrance to the wooded area. We'd leave our bikes and then go hiking in the ravine and stuff like that. And yeah, we still did. We thought we were spies and all this kind of stuff, setting traps out in the woods and had our BB guns and all that kind of stuff. But it's like kids don't do that anymore it seems like. And be your kids do Caleb. But

Speaker 3 (04:13):

Yes and no. I mean, we had the same challenges, maybe to a lesser degree than RJ was talking about with screens. But we have a limit. So after a certain amount of time, they shut off. And if you took too much time doing your school, then your free time's pretty low. No, but we try and structure our kids outdoor time too. And RJ had a good point to make it purposeful. If you just say go outside, then they think it's a consequence. And you don't want that either. So.

Speaker 1 (04:50):

Well, it's different with you guys. Your kids have siblings to go play with. Yeah, my daughter. And so usually it's go outside. Well go outside to do what?

Speaker 3 (05:01):

Well, and maybe something to think about is incorporating her interest into the outdoors because just being outside alone is really healthy.

Speaker 1 (05:12):

No,

Speaker 2 (05:12):

I agree with

Speaker 3 (05:13):

You. If she wants to read or draw or something like that.

Speaker 2 (05:15):

Chloe's done that. Levi's done school underneath the tree, but he did all the school outside in the summertime. He'd love to do school outside.

Speaker 1 (05:22):

We can't do it right now. It's like nine, five degrees outside. Caleb would disagree, but he is like, I'm outside all the time. Yeah, I'm cutting down trees in the 20 degree weather. Yeah, pretty much. But he's not cold when he is doing it moving Well, he's got those fleece pants. Those fleece. Fleece pants. Yeah. Not like rj, he doesn't have those. We got fleece legs. We have fleece legs. But no, that's been an interesting view of seeing this world develop with the screen time. I remember how excited I was when we got a Sega when I was a kid. Old school, 16 bit playing Sonic the Hedgehog. But I mean, I never got into being a gamer. Did you guys?

Speaker 2 (06:09):

Well, my parents had limits too. They were like, you can only play this certain times of the day. Because we had the Nintendo, first Nintendo that came out.

Speaker 1 (06:18):

That's what we had. So you had to

Speaker 2 (06:19):

Go, we had to blow off the cartridges, stick them in. And we had Duck hunt, the three that came with it. I don't remember what they all were, but

Speaker 1 (06:27):

Super Mario, duck hunt, duck hunt and something else. Tetris, maybe

Speaker 2 (06:31):

I can't, maybe it was.

Speaker 1 (06:32):

Or donkey kung.

Speaker 2 (06:33):

No, I didn't have Donkey Kong. We weren't that cool. But we had limits too,

Speaker 1 (06:43):

Growing up from, my limits were score had to be done and chores. But chores were kind of limited. I had a stay at home mom, and so it was more of, we just had to keep our rooms clean. And then in the summertime we had to mow and stuff

Speaker 2 (07:01):

And take

Speaker 1 (07:01):

Care of the dog.

Speaker 2 (07:02):

I had mow take care of the goats, all kinds of crazy fun stuff like that. And

Speaker 1 (07:07):

Then when I was a teenager, we had a farm. So we would go up with my dad for a couple days and do farming stuff. I had to go dis for hours on hours and hours.

Speaker 3 (07:23):

Camp Plan Nintendo while you're Discing

Speaker 1 (07:25):

Camp. No, but I brought my cd. Walkman

Speaker 3 (07:29):

Huge.

Speaker 1 (07:30):

Yeah, it got really dusty, but it still worked. And I had my little case and I was just listening to music.

Speaker 4 (07:36):

There go

Speaker 1 (07:39):

Fun side tangent story. So this was in Nebraska, and I listened to, they called, it was like their top hits mix station. It was called The Lake because like McConaughey, it was not far from where our farm was. So listening to the radio in the tractor, it had a tape deck. But I mean this was like 1970s, or not 1970s. It was probably 1980s tractor. Because all I could listen to is either that radio station or my CD Walkman. So I'm out there rocking three doors down while I am bouncing up and down in

Speaker 3 (08:25):

That explains the crooked furrows.

Speaker 1 (08:28):

The crooked, Hey, I learned how to use that little marker on the top of the tractor. I learned how to do that. I was a dis car. I was not a planter. I was the guy who, we had a 50 foot grain drill. And so I had ride on that stupid thing and make sure that all the grain bins were continued to be

Speaker 4 (08:47):

Full.

Speaker 1 (08:47):

And I'd have to holler at my dad while getting fricking dust and dirt in my face. Hey, we need to stop and go reload. So side note, sorry,

Speaker 2 (08:58):

Don't apologize.

Speaker 1 (09:00):

But that's how I learned. I enjoy the outdoors, but I was still the artistic kid. I mean, I did drawing and my daughter loves to draw, but I loved Legos. I mean, when we got our first computer in 98, yeah, it was 98.

Speaker 3 (09:21):

Yeah, ours is probably somewhere around then. Too

Speaker 1 (09:24):

Big old CRTs.

Speaker 3 (09:27):

130 megabit memory. Oh yeah.

Speaker 1 (09:30):

But learning to play battle zone. Oh yes. And Atari games on it too. And solitaire. But yeah, I mean, I don't know. I look at those times like, man, it was so much simpler.

Speaker 2 (09:46):

Well, and now I think, okay, well, even when I was a teenager and we moved to Colorado, we lived in a neighborhood and we could still go out, ride our bikes, go anywhere we wanted to. There was no limit. Right. Just be back before the street lights come on. And now I can't think that I would let my kids go out.

Speaker 3 (10:06):

Oh no. Not even out here.

Speaker 2 (10:07):

Not even out here. Even out here. And that's the sad part, but so we're limited on that too.

Speaker 1 (10:13):

Well we, I live kind of in a subdivision. I consider

Speaker 3 (10:18):

It. Yeah, you kind of

Speaker 1 (10:18):

Do. Caleb, you live kind of in the middle. You're kind of in the middle.

Speaker 2 (10:23):

Yeah.

Speaker 1 (10:24):

You kind of live in kind of a small subdivision, rj.

Speaker 2 (10:26):

It is. There's like one road. We still don't trust the people on it.

Speaker 1 (10:30):

Well, I've heard some of your stories, but you guys have both told me about how your kids have had potential child sex traffickers approached them.

Speaker 2 (10:45):

We did in town once and yeah, no, you did too.

Speaker 1 (10:48):

We

Speaker 3 (10:49):

Had someone stop on the side of the road.

Speaker 2 (10:50):

Yeah,

Speaker 1 (10:50):

We

Speaker 2 (10:50):

Had by at your house now,

Speaker 3 (10:52):

Right?

Speaker 2 (10:53):

Yeah. Ours occurred in town and they were sent the little kid out to go recruit other little kids. They were unquote going to the park, but they weren't going to the park.

Speaker 1 (11:04):

That's

Speaker 2 (11:04):

Frightening. I couldn't even let my kids out in the front yard without being armed. And if it wasn't for my gun being, and I had it out in my hand, I heard what was going on. The kid took off into that car and that car was gone. I couldn't even get the license plate. They left so fast. And I'm like, man, I can't even let my kids play outside, just outside of my sight for 10 minutes.

Speaker 1 (11:29):

Here's the,

Speaker 2 (11:30):

It's crazy.

Speaker 1 (11:31):

Well, hearing those stories, my daughter, she's like, well daddy, why can't I ride my bike around the neighborhood? I'm like, you never know. Then it's different. I look back, I grew up, when we first moved to Colorado, we moved to Commerce City in the ghetto. Have you ever been up to Mile High Flea market? I dunno if you guys have been up there.

Speaker 3 (11:53):

It's Denver. We stay away from Denver,

Speaker 1 (11:56):

But 88th and Sheridan. And that's the ghetto we had at my elementary school when I was going there at DuPont Elementary. Go dinosaurs. I don't, they still are, but I was in second grade.

Speaker 3 (12:15):

Dinosaurs aren't woke. They're probably still there.

Speaker 1 (12:17):

Yeah. Well, that's fair. But we had gang alarms. Literally the school would go in shut down mode because we had gangs around because our school got tagged all the time. But yet in the trailer park that we grew up in, my parents would let us run around on our bikes and go to the park and I was like seven years old.

Speaker 3 (12:42):

I could ride my bike. What? Five miles one way to baseball practice without any problems.

Speaker 1 (12:49):

But now that's just impossible.

Speaker 3 (12:51):

Now, not just won't. We can't.

Speaker 1 (12:53):

Well, yeah,

Speaker 2 (12:54):

For me, we lived in a small town. Everybody knew everyone. So if anybody tried anything or if we acted up, our parents found out really fast.

Speaker 1 (13:03):

Everybody knew

Speaker 2 (13:03):

Because everybody knew. The guy that ran the only gas station we had in our town, Ron Smith, Smitty's gas station. We lived at the end of the road. And we'd have to, because he knew we weren't supposed to be down at the creek too. And we would go down to the creek all the time. So you had to ride past Smitty's real quick. So you didn't

Speaker 1 (13:25):

Get caught.

Speaker 2 (13:25):

You had

Speaker 1 (13:25):

To ride past Smitty's. That sounds like something you would see in, what was that old show with Mayberry? And

Speaker 2 (13:34):

It was like that. We had fishing poles and I either had my four 10 shotgun or my 22, which I wasn't supposed to have outside of the house either because we had a clear water moccasins before we go swimming.

Speaker 1 (13:47):

Oh, that's fair.

Speaker 2 (13:47):

I mean, it made sense to me.

Speaker 1 (13:49):

Well, you were in South Texas, so that's just

Speaker 2 (13:52):

My kids hear that and they're like, there's no way that that could happen today. And even I talked to my friends who lived down there and they said, no, it's not the same. It's not the same. Even now. Which is sad.

Speaker 1 (14:04):

It is sad. Okay, I'm going to wrap back

Speaker 3 (14:09):

On track.

Speaker 1 (14:10):

I'm going to go back on track. I'm going to wrap this episode up. There's a thousand things we can talk to or talk about. There we go.

Speaker 3 (14:19):

I mean, we could degenerate into stories for hours.

Speaker 1 (14:22):

We really could. Well, that's why we're capturing this.

Speaker 2 (14:25):

But hey, they're relevant.

Speaker 1 (14:26):

They are relevant.

Speaker 2 (14:26):

They're relevant to the topic.

Speaker 1 (14:31):

Now I have a side note because of

Speaker 2 (14:33):

That, in a nutshell. In

Speaker 1 (14:34):

A

Speaker 2 (14:34):

Nutshell, punish your kids.

Speaker 1 (14:37):

Punish your kids. It's actually good for them.

Speaker 2 (14:40):

Don't beat your kids discipline, not punished. Okay. That's the word. Discipline. That's the word. Discipline your kids and train them up in the ways of the Lord. The

Speaker 1 (14:47):

End. There you go. Okay. Actually, the other verses I had don't relate to any of that. So we're going to just ignore

Speaker 4 (14:57):

That podcast.

Speaker 1 (14:58):

But is another podcast episode, but we'll get to that another day. But no, what was I man? We got off track and then when I had something to say, it's my fault. And then we were like talking. Yeah. Now I can't remember. This is what happens in live podcast here. I was like, boom. Anyway, yeah. So we can wrap this one up. This will be a little bit shorter of an episode, but that's okay. I think we've covered, I mean, over a couple episodes about being a father. It's important to discipline your kid. It's important to understand, and I think I'll get into, well, quick topic. It's important to have an understanding with your child. In my opinion. There's a difference between a relationship. We're not their friends, we're their parent. And that's something I have had to, I'm not here to please my kid. I'm here to guide them. And I want my daughter to have a example of a man that is in her life that when she starts dating, she has a blueprint. Right? Yeah, absolutely. Because I'm here to guide, not here to be her friend. She has plenty of friends,

Speaker 2 (16:20):

But we want them to run to us when they have a problem. Right?

Speaker 1 (16:25):

Right. Safe.

Speaker 2 (16:26):

That's that

Speaker 1 (16:27):

Balance.

Speaker 2 (16:28):

Not a friend, but we have to be that, like you said, safe zone, that confident person that they can trust all the time.

Speaker 1 (16:33):

Right. Any other thoughts, guys?

Speaker 2 (16:38):

No, that's great.

Speaker 1 (16:41):

Sorry, I feel like I've talked a lot on this episode.

Speaker 2 (16:43):

I don't know, I feel like I talk too much all the time, but it's probably true. But that's all right.

Speaker 1 (16:48):

Alright, well thank you guys for talking about your families. Absolutely. I really enjoy hearing stories from you guys, so alright, we'll see you guys on the next episode.