Chapter 3. O? How can I celebrate my originality? When you look in the mirror, how do you see yourself? How do you feel about your body? This might be a very loaded question for you. I've gone through various responses to these questions throughout my own life. In some seasons I've found acceptance and, dare I say, pride. In some seasons I've found acceptance and, dare I say, pride. But in far too many seasons I have felt somewhere on the spectrum between unhappy, discouraged and ashamed. Why is it so challenging to accept our bodies? Volumes of books have been written attempting to answer this question, but I think it comes down to this we have a hard time celebrating the originality God created in all of us. How can you celebrate your original body? Consider the three G's. God's original design is evident in your unique body.
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If you've grown up in the church, you're probably familiar with Genesis 127. God created mankind in his own image. You may have heard Psalm 139.14 as well. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful. I know that full well. May I be honest, I still have a hard time wrapping my brain around that. How am I made in the image of God when everyone on earth looks so different from each other and they're all made in his image as well. But it's like the physics homework my son does. Just because I don't understand it doesn't mean it's not true. Have you ever seen a parent introduce their new baby? Their wide smiles and shining eyes show their love for their child. Or maybe you remember having a younger sibling you were so proud to hold and meet? This is a fraction of the pride God takes in each of us. God specifically designed my unique body, yours too. He has a plan and a purpose for each of our bodies, which is why he tasks us with taking care of them. If he wanted our bodies to look taller, shorter, leaner or juicier probably not a term God uses, but you never know then he would have made them that way. Your differences are evidence of God's original design. Imagine your favorite Netflix show. Now think what that show would be like if the cast of characters were all basically the same. Their genders, personalities and even physical characteristics were identical. Pretty boring, huh. Their differences working together is what draws us to the stories they act out. God made our differences as a full cast of characters and he designed our original bodies on purpose, for a purpose, within his script of life.
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Genetics play an uncontrollable factor. I recently went on a trip with my sister and our husbands. We were both tickled by how many people asked if we were sisters. But for all the physical similarities we have, we also have differences. Genetics plays a huge role in our physical appearances. If you've been through a basic biology class, you probably already know this. Some genes, such as the ones that decide eye color and skin tone, are easy to see. Others, like the ones that control bone density and metabolic differences, are not.
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Your parents gave you a unique set of characteristics. I can point out my husband's frame in one of my sons and my nose in the other. You may have your mom's eyes, dad's skin tone and grandma's smile. Even if you don't know everything about your family history, you carry your ancestors' genetic history. Families that come together through adoption create a beautiful mix of nature and nurture. You may not be fully aware of your genetics, but you are shaped by the God-designed family you are in. The unique values and dynamics that are imparted to you through family. Members and peers play a huge role as well. How your family celebrates, worships, eats, moves, relaxes and vacations all contribute to the way you relate to the world.
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When my kids were little and complained about what I chose for them to watch on TV, I would tell them you get what you get and you don't throw a fit. Sometimes I wonder if God wants to say that to us when we complain about the unique and original characteristics he specifically gave each of our bodies. Glory-filled. Cultures are different and they still change. Have you ever learned about what is considered beautiful by cultures other than your own?
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Not all cultures have the same body ideal. As a white woman, I can't claim to be the authority on this, but the area where I live is one of the most diverse counties in the country. When I asked a multi-ethnic Facebook group of women in my community what is traditionally considered beautiful and desirable by their culture of origin, the answers varied. As far as the world is round. I heard from Chinese women who desired a soft and slim body, latinas who looked for curves and long, thick, wavy hair, indian women who were obsessed with big eyes and beautiful lashes and eyebrows and not being skinny, and Nigerians who desired long legs, big butts and wide hips. Additionally, I've learned that African-American women's body image doesn't begin and end with size, as it often does for white women. For some Black women, a bigger body might demonstrate health and strength, and studies show that Black women are more accepting of a wider range of body shapes.
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Throughout American history, the definition of beauty has constantly been in flux, and if we aren't careful, it takes our confidence along for the bumpy ride. Want proof? Consider the ideal American body during these time periods 1920s flat chest, downplayed waist, bobbed hair, boyish figure. 1930s to the 1950s curves, hourglass figure, large breasts, slim waist, think pinup girls. 1960s willowy, thin, long, slim legs, adolescent physique. 1980s athletic, svelte, but curvy, tall, toned arms. 1990s waifish, extremely thin, translucent skin, androgynous. 2000s to today flat stomach, healthy, skinny, tan, large breasts and butts, thigh gaps.
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I go into more depth in my first book, your Worthy Body, if you'd like to read more. I hope you get the point, though. Our cultures of origin may impact how we feel about our bodies, but it's not the same for everyone. Since every culture is created and blessed by God, our unique bodies can confidently glorify him, no matter how we grew up or where we came from. The world is fickle. If we let it determine whether we feel good about how we look, we'll never keep up. Besides, why should we strive for an ideal body when God never says there is one, regardless of culture. This is why we have to keep revisiting our truth. We were uniquely made by God on purpose, for a purpose. As cheesy as it sounds, you truly are an original. Celebrate it.