I may be the only author in the world who wants to reconsider buying her book.
Don't get me wrong, of course I want Your CORE Strength in the hands of the young woman in your life...but only if she is in the right space to receive it.
In today's episode, I offer you five things you need to know before you buy Your CORE Strength, including some ideas on offering the book to your daughter without it being received well.
Preorder your copy at Amazon or Bookshop. Bookshop supports independent bookstores. You can also find at other online retailers like Walmart or Barnes & Noble.
Want to Learn More before Buying?
Grab the 20-page Parents Guide if you want the Cliffs Notes version before purchasing or if you don't preorder.
I may be the only author in the world who wants to reconsider buying her book.
Don't get me wrong, of course I want Your CORE Strength in the hands of the young woman in your life...but only if she is in the right space to receive it.
In today's episode, I offer you five things you need to know before you buy Your CORE Strength, including some ideas on offering the book to your daughter without it being received well.
Preorder your copy at Amazon or Bookshop. Bookshop supports independent bookstores. You can also find at other online retailers like Walmart or Barnes & Noble.
Want to Learn More before Buying?
Grab the 20-page Parents Guide if you want the Cliffs Notes version before purchasing or if you don't preorder.
Hey there, welcome to the graced health podcast, your source for aging strong in your physical, mental and spiritual health. My name is Amy Connell. I'm a weight neutral certified personal trainer and nutrition coach who loves walks with friends, chocolate and Jesus. Neutral certified personal trainer and nutrition coach who loves walks with friends, chocolate and Jesus. Whether you're looking to grow stronger as you age, nourish your body, mind and spirit, or fit all the pieces of your health together to holistically thrive, this is the place for women over 40. I am here to guide you in the areas I can and bring on experts in the areas I'm still learning, and, of course, we cover it all in a whole lot of grace. I'm glad you're here. If you have been with me for a little bit, you have heard me talking about the new book that I have been writing for teen girls. Now, admittedly, this is a little strange, because my focus here, and even as I say in the intro, is this is a place for women over 40. So why write a book for teen girls? Well, two reasons really. One is after I wrote your Worthy Body, which was my first book written yes, for women over 40, I had moms coming to me saying Amy, I need something like this for my daughter. One of the things that is important to do when you're writing a book is to know exactly who your audience is, and in your Worthy Body, my audience was women over 40. So I talked about issues that were pertinent to us. For teen girls, the issues are a little different. So, yes, they can absolutely read your Worthy Body and I had several young women do that. But at the same time, I wanted to write something where they felt like I understood just their own challenges, because it's different when you're getting up and you're going to school and you're around peers all day and you know, I mean the whole teenage thing, right. Like they needed to know that I was in their corner and I wanted them to know that this was something I wrote specifically for them.
Speaker 1:
The second reason I wrote it is I led teen fitness classes for about five years and these were so fun. So these were just groups of young women and I had various types of different groups, but we exercised outside. I led these young women in fitness classes for about 40 minutes and then the last few minutes I would give a nutrition lesson and they all seemed to really like that. They enjoyed moving their body and they wanted to learn more about that. But they also really wanted to understand more about nutrition, and I would get little questions here or there or I could really just tell by the nutrition lesson, like which ones they were more interested in and which ones they weren't, and I just kind of got a sense that these young women need some clarity and, let's be honest, like there is so much madness out there in particularly TikTok world that I just wanted to provide some science backed, sustainable, balanced information that would work with them now and really for the rest of their lives. If you know me, sustainability and realistic approaches to health are very important and that is one reason why I have really focused on this podcast being intuitive eating based, because it seems to just make the most sense. I also operate from that on my podcast for young women called Lessons to my Teenage Self, so I just wanted to make sure that they got something that was for them, that had real information, that it wasn't fear mongering and that it wasn't just bad advice. There's so much bad stuff out there. So those are the two main reasons that I wrote this book.
Speaker 1:
I wanted to come on here to the parents and to the women who have young women in their lives. So it may be that you don't have a teen daughter, but maybe you have a niece or maybe you have granddaughters. I know some of you have grandchildren who are entering into their teenage years and I just wanted to give you five things today that you really need to know before you buy this book for them. So let's jump into these five things you need to know. Number one your core strength is not a shortened version of your worthy body. Originally my plan was to make it kind of side by side. So I'm just going to use moms and daughters, but that can be like any woman and any young woman so, but it's just easier to say moms and daughters. But my original plan was for your worthy body to be an expanded version of your core strength and so moms and daughters could read that together and kind of compare and contrast. Once I got in I realized that that just wasn't going to happen. That just didn't. It just didn't work for the purposes of what I was trying to do.
Speaker 1:
And the setup of the book is different. Your Worthy Body every chapter is a rule to break In. Your Core Strength every chapter 34 of them is a question that I have gotten before, either in conversations or through coaching. I do some coaching in the kitchen, I do some coaching in the, in fitness, and so these are actually questions. I do repurpose a couple pieces of content that the young women who read your worthy body and kind of provided me some feedback on that really resonated with them. And in particular, when I go through and this isn't even my research, but it was the research by someone else and I'm sorry, I'm sorry I can't remember the name off the top of my head, but going through the decades of the quote unquote ideal body for women, that was really impactful to them. I also shortened up pretty significantly just differences in cultures and body sizes and ideals in cultures, because that was another piece that they indicated that they wanted to learn more about. And then another thing that I learned in their comments from your Worthy Body was they wanted to know a lot more about mental health. I do talk about mental health some in your Worthy Body, but I dig into that and in fact I even have a full chapter devoted to how can I take care of my mental health in your Core Strength. So it is, I would say probably 95% new content. It definitely complements your Worthy Body, but it is new.
Speaker 1:
The second thing I want you to know is, while I was writing this, your daughter's safety, or the safety of the reader, was my utmost priority. I think all parents can say that, like their safety, the safety of their child is so important. I remember back when I was pregnant with my oldest child and they had some sort of public health event where you could go and I think it was maybe like the emergency medical services, like they did a check on your car seat to make sure that it was installed correctly, because at the time I don't remember what the percentage was, but it was a pretty high percentage that the car seat was not installed properly. I wanted it to be safe for my kid and then I waited until he was the right I don't remember if it was height or weight or whatever to move him into a new car seat. And then we wait until he's a certain age to flip around, so he's front facing, and then you wait there until they're graduated into a little bit bigger car seat, and on and on until they're actually able to sit up front with you in the car, which is many, many years and I can't believe. I don't remember what the ages on all of those were. But you get the point. We are very careful and very safe with our children and that is the care that I took with this book In particular.
Speaker 1:
I was very cautious not to elevate some foods, demonize others and to present the food and the nutrition information as facts and not provoke fear about particular foods. I say I was cautious. What I mean by that is I wrote what I thought to be a diet culture free book and I actually had a completely done manuscript, fully edited, at the end of October. Then one night I woke up like startled awake in the middle of the night and I just felt God saying you need to have some other eyes on this. And it was like my heart was racing and I just knew, like I knew, that I had to do that. So I actually reached out to Leslie Schilling you have met Leslie before when she came to talk about her book Feed Yourself.
Speaker 1:
And then we also did a book club. On there I had Kristen Williams, who is a registered dietitian with Wonderfully Made Nutrition. Both of these women are wiser than I am. Nutrition Both of these women are wiser than I am and they were able to red flag some problematic words or phrases or entire chapters in some areas, and that's another reason why this is different than your worthy body Like. If you read your worthy body, you may be. You may remember the Cinderella chapter in carbs, and while that was a fun way to make a point, I actually took that out because I learned that it had the potential to demonize some foods, and again, I just wanted this to be safe. I mean, I was highly, highly cautious with this.
Speaker 1:
One of the things that I really learned throughout this process from, again, women who are wiser than I am is young women can become so frightened of eating the quote right or quote wrong foods that they just don't eat at all. And if your initial reaction is like, well, that's just silly, then I want to very gently point out the madness of the wellness culture right now. I mean, there is just a lot of stuff out there that we are getting sucked into and if it's happening with us, with all of our like, fully developed frontal lobes and brains and we have more, what Arthur Brooks calls crystallized intelligence, which PS is a wonderful book, strength to Strength I highly recommend it, but not related to this at all, but he calls it crystallized intelligence, which is basically like all the things that you've learned and you're able to put it together and make it make sense, and that really only happens with age. I would also call it wisdom, but if that is happening to us, imagine the impact on young people, on young girls, on our sons as well, by the way and so I really wanted to make this so safe and for them not to latch onto something that could spiral into disordered eating, that could spiral into an eating disorder or anything like that. So I worked really hard to keep diet culture out of this, and I have an entire chapter on what is diet culture, because that might be a new word for them, or it might be something that they have seen but they're not super familiar with, and so I dig into actually what diet culture is. All of these are just ways that I have tried to make this again a safe place for your daughter.
Speaker 1:
Now that does lead into number three, which is I do provide guidance on food and exercise and general health. I know this can be a bit confusing sometimes when I'm saying I'm not demonizing foods, and you know there are no good and bad foods At the same time. Not all foods are nutritionally equivalent. I have an entire chapter on micronutrients and what those do and how those can help, and I list all the different not all of them, but many of the different micronutrients and what their functions are and foods that they're found in. So I absolutely give nutritional information. However I present it as here it is Now, what do you want to do about it? I have a very strong focus throughout the entire book on how do you feel and how do you function, because when all of us start to pay attention to the foods that we eat, we will notice which ones make us feel and function better.
Speaker 1:
I help them understand about protein. I mean, look, I've been wanting to do an episode on protein here for no joke, probably nine months, and the members of our Graced Health Plus community which everyone is welcome to join, by the way they can attest to that, because I said something about protein back in July and I was like I really need to do an episode on it and I'm still trying to figure out how I can put this together in a way that is neutral and that allows for nuance. So there is an episode coming at some point, but I do simplify that in this book as well. So if they're like I don't know, you know, like I know I need to be having protein, I give them some guidance with that. So this is not like a willy nilly. I mean, there absolutely is nutritional information in there, as well as exercise information. How long should I work out? How should I warm up? You know how do I strength train? All of these things are in there. How long should I work out? How should I warm up? You know how do I strength train? All of these things are in there, absolutely. But they're presented more from a neutral perspective and also from an empowering perspective. So that actually leads to number four.
Speaker 1:
This is your daughter's journey. One of the things I say in the book is I am trying to empower you to make choices that make you feel and function well. It is so important to me. Can you imagine, you guys, what if we were given the autonomy and the agency to figure out these things with the nutritional information, with the fitness information, and not be so burdened and chained to diet culture? Can you imagine? Think about the freedom we could have gotten with that? Think about all of the nonsense in our head that we could have avoided, and so I'm really wanting her to feel empowered to do this. That may mean there's some learning bumps along the way, and I encourage you to let her go through those and figure things out and then make choices and learn so she can become stronger. One of the examples I have been giving recently in some different talks I've been doing is as a personal trainer. When my clients and myself for that matter are trying to grow stronger, I am trying to put enough tension and resistance on their muscles so those muscles will have little micro tears, because it's only when we get those micro tears in our muscles that then something called muscle protein synthesis happens and our muscles can rebuild.
Speaker 1:
Our children may have or may need to go through some micro terrors in this process of re learning and rethinking about food, and we've got to let them do that. And that doesn't mean like they just we just throw them out to the wolves, but it means maybe becoming a consultant and answering questions when asked very key when asked rather than playing the cop and being all on top of them and up their nose and don't eat. That that's not healthy and don't eat. You know, and you should eat this. It's healthy. And you guys, I am the first to say how many times I did this as a parent and it has changed it's really interesting just in the two years that my older son has. He's been off at college and my younger son has been here Every now and then. I think, man, this was a lot different when my kids, when my older son was here. I mean, I've changed a lot. And so let your kid, let your daughter, have those little bumps in the road and maybe she eats too much or maybe she works out too much and she's complaining that she doesn't feel well for one of those or another, and then it maybe that's when you can ask some questions. Or if she's like I don't know what to do, well, that's when we ask some questions. But let them have those little micro tears so they can get stronger through the process of this. They can get stronger through the process of this.
Speaker 1:
If you are part of this community, whether you listen on the podcast or you are part of the Grace to Health Facebook group or you get the newsletters. I mean, however, it is that you are part of this community. I'm so grateful for you and I'm so glad you're here and if you are wanting to purchase this book for your daughter here, and if you are wanting to purchase this book for your daughter, first I want to say thank you, but second, I want you to pause really quickly on that, because as much as I believe in the message of this book and as much of my time and energy and passion is poured into it, this can only impact your daughter if she is in the right heart space for this. So if she is struggling with body image issues, if she is struggling with how she feels about herself, I actually discourage you from just buying the book and popping it down on her bed. Instead, I would encourage you to ask her if she's interested in it, and this is what I would say Tell her what you have learned on this show and I'm not even saying just from me, maybe it's from some of the guests.
Speaker 1:
Tell her how you are changing, how you approach food or exercise. Tell her what you wish you would have known when you were her age. Make it personal, be vulnerable, and then tie it to her and see if she might be interested in that so you can say something like I've noticed you working out and you're working hard and you're exercising and I know that when I started working out, it was a little confused about what to do. You know, and also like there's so much on TikTok and there's so much on YouTube, I know it's overwhelming. So there's this book written by this girl who I have been learning from, and it gives you workouts and it gives you recipes and explains how to take care of your body and your mental health and would you be interested in that? And so kind of reach the pain point, tell them what the solution and the benefit is and then ask them if they would like to do that.
Speaker 1:
So here's another one I've been learning from this girl named Amy. She's a personal trainer and nutrition coach. I listened to her podcast and part of my journey with her has been changing my relationship with food and my body. So she's got this new book coming out for young women and I really wish I would have known this when I was your age. So what are your thoughts on me getting this book for you? Because this is something that I really wish I would have had and I think that you would enjoy it. So have those conversations like that, not so much like you need to read this and honestly, if you have been listening to this show, I highly doubt that that is the approach that you are going to take with your daughter, but I do think it's worth mentioning just in case, because we want to make sure that our daughters feel supported by us and not held to any kind of expectation. Number five of what you need to know before you buy your core strength is I do not claim to know everything about this. As you know, I have two sons. I do not have teen daughters. I truly do believe that God gave me boys so I could serve young women in this capacity. It's completely different and it makes me feel safe as a mom because I'm not potentially crossing any boundaries that my daughter may have had.
Speaker 1:
I did do a lot of research in writing this book. I actually hired a consultant who works with teen girls. So shout out to Linnae Balthus. Linnae was instrumental in helping me just develop this and make sure that it is easily digestible. Most of the chapters are pretty short. They're like 1000 words or less. I mean she was oh my goodness, you guys like just an angel. I mean she was so wonderful. My friend, sherry Fletcher, who is host of the your Spiritual Game Plan podcast, connected me with Linnae and then Linnae suggested several books for me to read, which I did read. I have many friends with teen daughters who allowed me to pick their brain and, of course, you know, moms have conversations, we talk about things, so I really did try to do my research.
Speaker 1:
I am a huge fan, huge fan, of Dr Lisa DeMore, who is a psychologist and but she, she does a lot with teens and particularly with teen girls. So I, like I, have been listening to all kinds of stuff that she puts out. She has a wonderful podcast called Ask Lisa. If you do not know her and if you have teen girls, she is someone you definitely want to learn from because she just has so much wisdom. So, anyway, all of that to say like I do not claim to know everything. I have done my best to learn but at the end of the day, I'm just a conduit. I'm a conduit between you and your daughter and the most important thing is for you all to have a solid relationship and I do believe that this book can help bring you together and have actually, one of my endorsers called it a shared language. So Kate Casey generously endorsed this book. She's a counselor Actually, she was an attorney first and now she's a counselor in the Fort Worth area and this is what she wrote.
Speaker 1:
As a mom to three daughters, this resource is a wealth of information and inspiration for the entire family. Amy Connell explores the multifaceted nature of health and gives teens the tools to incorporate these concepts into daily life. As a therapist, I appreciate the introduction of a shared vocabulary upon which mothers and daughters can connect and grow. So what I would love is for you guys to read this together and that way you have something to point to and you have kind of that, that neutral third party of like okay, well, what does she say about this in your core strength? That doesn't mean that it's the end, all be all, but it's somewhere neutral to go to together and have that shared language.
Speaker 1:
The verse from 1 Corinthians 3, verse 6, I feel like, really fits here. I love the scripture. I planted the seed, apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow. I don't really even know if I'm the seed or if I'm Apollos watering things. We can just share that role if you want, but at the end of the day God will grow this in his time, and I know he will help your daughter flourish that's what I want for her, and I know that's what you want for her as well and flourish with the freedom of having food peace, with the freedom of having body image issues tempered or, goodness gracious, god can do wonderful things, maybe even like no body image issues. How wonderful would that be, by the way, but I truly do hope that this is something that your daughter is able to reference time and again.
Speaker 1:
And, by the way, the information in here is applicable to anyone. It's just written for young girls, so I'm talking about high school. I'm talking about some of my experiences that I wish didn't happen in high school, and so I tried to make it very applicable to them. If you want to know more about what is in your core strength before purchasing it, or just to get the cliff notes while your daughter reads it, I actually put together a 20 page parents guide for you to understand and learn what your daughter's reading without actually reading it yourself. So I would say you know, read it if you want to, but there's also some other things in there. So what I have is the top 10 things you need to know, and so this is actually like what are the 10 like pillars that you need to know of what your daughter is reading?
Speaker 1:
I also have five ways to support your daughter. I have a section about diet culture and weight loss, because I actually try to reframe weight loss into optimizing our original bodies. And then I have resources I have been learning from myself and have been gathering, like books and podcasts and a full page of recommended Instagram accounts. The Instagram accounts are ones that you can follow yourself, and when you see a post, you can pass along to your daughter or she can follow those as well. I actually do have most of the same ones in the book, because that's one of the resources that I have in your core strength is recommended Instagram accounts, along with QR codes to workouts. I have recipes in there, like single serve recipes that she can make after school. I have a few in there that are like be kind to your future self, and there you make them more in a batch, but I have really tried to equip her to holistically take care of herself. So those are the top five things you need to know before you buy your core strength.
Speaker 1:
Also, if you have people in your daughter's life. Who might like to know about this? Maybe youth pastors or coaches or just other moms groups, and if you're on a mom's text thread for something like that, or maybe your high school has a Facebook group and they would like to know about this, please, please, please, forward this along. This can only help people if it gets out there, and word of mouth truly is the best way to share about it. Okay, that is all for today. Go out there and have a graced day. Thanks for listening today.
Speaker 1:
If this episode was valuable to you, could you do one of two things that are enormously valuable to me but super simple for you? Number one just share this with a friend Super simple. Number two provide a rating and review. Just share this with a friend Super simple. Number two provide a rating and review. Particularly if you listen in Apple podcasts, this is super valuable for me. Also, if you haven't yet subscribed to my monthly journal, why not? I send it out twice a month and it is a private, fun space for me to share some of my favorite foods and recipes, movements, books, sermons and more. You never know what you're gonna get, but I promise it will add value to your day. You can sign up at gracedhealthcom slash monthly dash updates and of course, the link is in the show notes. Thanks again for listening and I'll see you next time.