Youth Soccer and The Forced Apology Letter

In this episode, we spin through a series of completely normal conversations that somehow include fashion critiques no one asked for, identifying your spouse by their sneeze, and the weaponization of the phrase “my love.”

Winthrop is back on the field after a long break, and it turns out youth sports are not just about winning (although… there was some winning).

Also:

• Preventing beverage-related disasters
• Amanda continues to live like it’s 1989
• Listener emails
• Being a tourist in your own town

It’s marriage, parenting, minor arguments, and the ongoing process of raising children while also raising ourselves.

Super Familiar with The Wilsons 
Find us on instagram at instagram.com/superfamiliarwiththewilsons
and on Youtube
Contact us! familiarwilsons@gmail.com

A Familiar Wilsons Production

Transcript

Cold Open And Wheel Setup\n

Josh 0:00

The following podcast uses words like and and also if you're not into any of that shit, then now's your chance.

Amanda 0:08

Three, two, one. Did you make a wheel like an actual wheel underneath the computer?

Speaker 0:13

No, we have a wheel sitting right here next to the 'cause you can make the wheel and it'll do the huge superfamiliar. I wanna be super familiar. Don't be stranger.

Amanda 0:44

Welcome to Super Familiar with the Wilsons. I'm Amanda.

Josh 0:47

And I'm Josh, and this is the podcast about marriage 2.0 with kids.

Amanda 0:51

And all the side quests.

Josh 0:52

Amanda, are you ready to spin the wheel of topics?

Amanda 0:56

No, there's a wheel now.

Josh 0:58

Well, there's a wheel of topics because I I feel like we need a little help sometimes to figure out what we're gonna talk about. Last week's episode was really just all over the place, and so I'm trying to instill some order here.

Amanda 1:09

Because I cried most of it.

High Waisted Jeans Rant\n

Josh 1:11

Yes, I know. And part of that was due to me kind of being a jerk before we recorded, and then some of that has nothing to do with me with the hormones and whatnot. So all right, so go ahead and and give this wheel a spin. I'll tell you that the the things on it right now, we've got three sections as you can see on this big wheel that we've brought in. It says my love, it says high-waisted jeans, and it says sneezing. Okay. So spin that wheel. All right, and it is stopping on high-waisted jeans.

Amanda 1:47

I don't like them.

Amanda 2:21

They're super uncomfortable too. Like, and for me, they're because I'm short but I'm all leg, high-waisted jeans basically come up right underneath my breasts. Like it's there is no like a high-waisted jean is just a full body pant for me at that point. I could just pull it up a little higher and wear it as a turtleneck, a one-piece.

Josh 2:42

A turtleneck with legs.

Amanda 2:43

Yeah, it's there's no point. And but I have been seeing, you know, like my algorithm on the socials now is all like parimentopausal women and gen X and things like this. And I have seen a version of this going around that was like, listen, I'm Gen X or I'm parimentopausal. I don't have very many high-waisted, low-waisted, skinny jean flair like transitions in me. Like we've done this. Like skinny jeans are out, and these things are back. And that I just I just don't have the time. If it doesn't come from Aldi, I'm probably not gonna wear it.

Josh 3:18

Well, that is an interesting thing, though, because I am definitely past the age of being influenced by what other people are wearing. Like what I like to wear is what I like to wear, uninfluenced by fashion, freaking clearly. So, yeah, the jeans and uh button shirt, right? Because I can't I can't really pull off the the t-shirt look anymore. Or like today, I've got a Felino shirt on. And this is how I I can be happy like this for the rest of my life. Basically, I'm in my burial clothes right now. I've just got it done with.

Amanda 3:48

Including the beanie on your head?

Josh 3:49

Yeah, well, I I don't have hair, so I need something to keep my head warm.

Amanda 3:53

What when you're dead? Okay, good. We'll let Madison know.

Sneezes You Can Identify\n

Josh 3:56

All right, spin the wheel. Round and round it goes. All right, sneezing.

Amanda 4:03

Okay.

Josh 4:04

I don't know if any of you all have reached this point in your marriage where you can identify your spouse across a store just by their sneeze.

Amanda 4:18

Where were we?

Josh 4:19

We were in a craft store, some some random craft store. I was just coming out of the bathroom and I sneezed, and like you were like five aisles over, but you knew that that was a I was like, Josh, I'm over here.

Amanda 4:31

I'm like, that was your sneeze. That's funny. That's true. Do you think you would recognize my sneeze?

Josh 4:37

Yeah, I think so. Go ahead.

Amanda 4:40

Yeah, this is a yawn. I can't sneeze on command, but I can yawn.

Josh 4:44

Yeah, I don't I think I would be able to recognize your sneeze. I also think I've got an obnoxiously loud sneeze. I've been told this.

Amanda 4:51

Yes, you you you do sneeze very what that it wasn't even a loud sneeze. It just that one wasn't that loud. It maybe it didn't sound loud because it was five hours away from me. But uh yeah, no, I definitely recognized it. That's funny. I had forgotten about that.

Josh 5:04

Spouses, is there a noise that your partner makes that you would recognize? Can you imagine if someone recognized that was uh my spouse's fart? That's their their special fart. I mean not by smell, but by sound.

Amanda 5:17

I mean, I'm very, very happy that yours was just a sneeze. Like this is I would I just think that this is very kind of mild.

Josh 5:25

So if if you could recognize your partner by a noise that they make in a crowded room, email us at familiarwilsons at gmail.com or mother or father or sibling. Doesn't have to be partner, someone who you're close to. Spin that final week.

Amanda 5:40

I don't want to, because I know the last topic on there and I don't want to talk about it. We have already talked about it.

Josh 5:44

I'll spin it.

Amanda 5:45

You do not need to chastise me in public. We've already had this conversation.

Josh 5:48

I want to open this up to everyone.

Amanda 5:50

Listen Why? I said I would do it better.

Josh 5:53

This is the no, but now I'm now it's uh we're teaching people. Okay, and I want to see if anyone else relates with this. Do you want to go ahead and say what I'm referring to when I spin your damn wheel. We don't have to spin it because this is the last topic.

Amanda 6:08

It's the fact that I say my love in a way that um has become negative because I followed up with something that you've done that I don't like or you're doing wrong.

Josh 6:17

It's kind of Amanda's way now of saying you fucking idiot to me.

Amanda 6:21

It's like it's kinder than that. Huh? It's kinder than that.

Josh 6:24

Well, is it is it though? Because you've taken a term of endearment and you have turned it into okay, we'll we'll play act here. This is I will do both parts. This is this is me. Amanda, do you know where the remote is? This is Amanda. Well, my love, it's under the pillow next to you.

Amanda 6:43

I mean, no, it would be like my love, you had it last. That's how I would have done that.

Josh 6:47

Really? This is what we're gonna bicker about, how you say it? I've been the receptive. Anyway, not the point. The point is that I don't like that you've taken this phrase that should be wonderful and fill me with happiness and joy, and aren't don't I love this woman in front of me into you idiot.

Amanda 7:03

So how do you want me to say it then? You idiot, you had it last?

Josh 7:06

Yeah, I'd prefer that's a lot more straightforward.

Amanda 7:09

Okay. It's like I love you, but I love you, but you're getting on my nerves.

Josh 7:13

Which you've said that before as well. But again, that's a lot more straightforward. It's almost like when you say that, it's like I I'm calling you my love, and I can't freaking believe that this is what I've married.

Amanda 7:25

I mean, to be fair, you're doing really annoying things when I say it. Like the other day, we went out, you took you took a Friday off. I I took a half day, and we were going out to lunch and having a like an afternoon date. We were driving and you were telling me where to go, but I knew where to go, and you kept telling me to turn. I'm like, I know that I'm gonna turn. I was like, my love, I'm turning. So should I have just said, you effing idiot, I'm turning.

Josh 7:51

Yeah, or just recognize that I was uh purposefully teasing you with that one. That one I was just teasing. It's mess, though.

Amanda 7:57

Yeah, I know. Well, sometimes sometimes consequences have actions.

Josh 8:01

Sometimes consequences have actions. Yes. Wait, what?

Amanda 8:05

You're con you're no, sometimes actions have consequences. Well, the the consequence of you annoying me was me saying my love, and that was the action.

Kids Soccer Win And Big Feelings\n

Josh 8:14

Yes, no. The consequence of you saying my love, the action is me mentioning to thousands of people listening. So there you go.

Amanda 8:22

Excellent.

Josh 8:23

Alrighty. So that was the wheel of topics. What did you think of that? That was great.

Amanda 8:27

That's my favorite ever.

Josh 8:28

It's not like we don't have stuff to talk about. We started soccer or football, as our friends across the pond say this week. Winthrop's team is now the Falcons.

Amanda 8:38

Go Falcons.

Josh 8:39

Go Falcons. And so I do have a little report that I've written up here with, of course, the accompanying music. Hear ye, hear ye, gather round the old wireless for a most decisive contest was played upon the pitch this past Saturday, where the Falcons did commence their campaign with vigor, precision, and just a touch of theatrical cruelty. From the opening whistle, the Falcons press high and often, unleashing no fewer than eight shots on target in the first half alone. The opposing side, whose name has regrettably been lost to history or perhaps quietly discarded for their own dignity, spent much of the first half engaged in a curious exhibition of sideline throw-ins, many of which may best be described as aspirational rather than successful. Young Winthrop Wilson of the Falcons was making his return to the game after a spell away. He showed flashes of promise. Though still finding his match fitness and rhythm, he managed two earnest efforts on goal in the first half, each a polite knock upon Destiny's door, though no one was home. The Falcons, however, required no such invitation. Their player number 16 opened the scoring with authority, followed by a second tally from number 17. Both finishes delivered with the sort of confidence that suggests they had already written the ending before the story began. The second half saw no easing of hostilities. The Falcons continued their relentless attack, adding three more goals to their tally with a clinical edge that bordered on unsporting. Their passing was crisp, their movement purposeful, and their finishing was, frankly, quite arrogant. Winthrop found himself with another opportunity, a second half strike that carried hope in its wings, but alas it drifted wide, like a letter sent with the correct postage but the wrong address. And so it was that the match concluded in a most emphatic fashion: six goals to nil. A route, a drubbing, the sort of result that causes one to misplace not only the opposing team's name, but perhaps their very sense of self. One imagines them returning home quietly, speaking little, and perhaps taking up new hobbies. Still, for the Falcons, it was a triumphant beginning. And for Winthrop Wilson, though the road ahead may require a few more touches, a few more runs, and perhaps a moment or two of existential reflection, but there is promise yet in those tiny boots. We shall watch his season with great interest. There you go, Amanda Wilson.

Amanda 11:26

That's so many words you just said. I know it. They won. That's what I would have said.

Josh 11:30

No, no, they didn't just win. I they get credit for the next three games.

Amanda 11:34

I don't well, especially because he's coming off when he his last spring season, what they won no games.

Josh 11:41

Uh, that is correct.

Amanda 11:42

Yeah, so this is this is very, very different. These children wanted to be there.

Josh 11:46

All I have to say is that I don't believe in corporal punishment, but that was a spanking.

Amanda 11:50

I don't remember the other team's name either. I think it was like Badgers or something.

Josh 11:54

The Badgers got buried then, baby. But we did have a little existential reflection at the end of the game.

Amanda 12:01

Well, I mean, he hasn't played in a year. And I will say overall it was a win because there was no I don't want to go to soccer. Because that's all we got last year. I don't want to go, I don't want to go, I don't want to go. Now, I was gone. I had to leave before daylight yesterday morning to go to a conference. So I came and met you guys at the game. We're playing at a new venue. The weather weather was lovely, if a bit windy, and it it was really nice. Parents were nice, two coaches, nice, right? But this is also the first time they're playing with a goalie. The the he's moved up in the age bracket and moved up into like an intermediate level. But in beginner, they don't play with goalies. And so this was his first experience with somebody blocking. It didn't go wide, it got blocked. The last one. And um he just he got upset. He I mean that's understandable. It's you know, he's trying and he got upset, but you know, the coach came up and said, Hey, Winthrop, great, you know, that was that was a great kick. And and Winthrop just thank you and walked away. But he was he was very upset. So we had to have a lot of conversations about it's it's a growing process in in sportsmanship and being happy for other people, and it's okay to be upset and it's okay to feel frustrated, but it's how we deal with it.

Josh 13:14

But also his team won.

Amanda 13:17

I know, like that's it wasn't a personal victory.

Josh 13:20

Well, see, that's the thing. And and he is just nine, and so like we're still teaching him what sports are all about, but be happy that you're like that's the whole put thing. Be happy that your team won.

Amanda 13:32

But I didn't want to make that big of a deal about it because when his team loses, I don't want it to be like, well, we didn't win. Like, you know, there's like we were just gonna focus on the thing that we could focus on yesterday. Also, he kept saying, Stop yelling at me, which and I never ever yelled. I was very close to yelling because I wanted him to see what yelling actually sounded like. I said, I understand that what you're saying is that's the old uh don't cry.

Josh 13:54

Don't cry, I'll give you something to cry about.

Amanda 13:55

Yeah, if you want me to yell, I will yell. But I didn't. And he's already got things to talk about in therapy. I wasn't gonna add to it. And he he kept, I said, I understand what you're saying is that I'm speaking in a way that's firm and you don't like it. Or I'm he's like, You're speaking in a way that's serious. And I said, I understand. This is a conversation we're having. He said, You're talking like a teacher. I said, Well, first of all, I am one. And second of all, he was like, You're acting, you're talking like a teacher who doesn't like me. And I said, I love you very much, but I am your teacher. Like you daddy and I have a very small class of four. And he says that sometimes five if the dog is there for the lesson. He was like, What do you mean, four? And so we counted all of the brothers and sisters. And and I said, and it's not that we don't love you, we love you, but it is our job to help you be the best human that you can be. And you know, life is really difficult. And the more we learn how to deal with disappointment, the the better it's gonna be. And we went through this whole thing where I didn't want people mad at me, I don't want people laughing at me, and I want people making fun of me. And so we kind of said, okay, and then what? Because he said he was embarrassed. That's why he didn't want to talk to the coach. We were going through why didn't he respond to the coach while I was embarrassed? Okay, then what? Well, then people laugh at me. Okay, then what? Then I'm embarrassed. Okay, then what? Like we got in this cycle. I said, What I'm trying to get you to realize is yes, it does not feel good, but it doesn't change who you are, doesn't change how we love you, it doesn't change how smart and funny and kind and all the things that you are. So I know it doesn't feel good. I know that it doesn't feel good, but it does not change you. And so he finally he was just like, Can we, can we just be done? And I said, No, when we get when we get home.

Josh 15:37

You've talked him into submission. He said, Mommy, my love. Can we just be done?

Amanda 15:42

I said, when we get home, we're gonna have to have a conversation with daddy about the plan for next week. He said, What do you mean, plan? I don't even know what you mean plan. I said, What you're gonna do the next time that you're upset or this happens or whatever. And uh, so he's like, Can you just tell daddy my plan? And I was like, Nope, not my responsibility. So anyway, we got through it and we are fine, but it was, you know, it's been a year since he played, so there's gonna be some growing edges. Wait. Will you recognize that in a store?

Josh 16:08

Oh, yes, that yes, now I remember it's been a while. Thanks for that. You're welcome. Parents out there, do you have any object lessons that we can use to to teach when the the real meaning of team sports, like something that involves three bananas and a carrot or something? You know how sometimes parents have these really cool things of that's why I'm so annoyed that that we can't enjoy the Cosby show anymore because he would do like little things and you'd be like, oh, I get it.

Amanda 16:34

But but it's really great parenting advice from a really horrible human.

Josh 16:38

Yeah, yeah. Well, anyway, not the point. Uh well, he did come home and I did make him write a letter to his coach apologizing for kind of blowing him off, and we texted that to the coach because this is the world in which we live. He he wrote it, he wrote a long hand down on lined paper, and then took a picture of it. I sent it to the coach. This is a letter my kid wrote to you.

Amanda 17:01

So he wanted me to write it. He was like, My hand hurts, I can't write. I said, I am not writing this.

Josh 17:05

My hand hurts. Get out of here.

Amanda 17:07

I said, We will just sit right here until your hand feels better.

Josh 17:11

So there you go. Any advice that you have for us familiar, Wilsons at gmail.com. Let us know.

Speaker 2 17:18

Oh, the yenits, they roam in the snow. In the mountains they come and they go with their shaggy fur coats and eyes so bright. They'll keep you warm on the coldest of night. Uh oh, they'll keep you warm on the coldest of nights. Yeti so yeti. Yeti duck beach so fair. With voices that boom like thunder in the air. They'll help you dance, they'll help you sing. Yeti tuck you to poofy. Yeti magical things.

Josh 18:02

I've finally figured out what my role in this family is in restaurants.

Amanda 18:08

Okay. To pay for them?

Josh 18:10

No, because we you and I switch back and forth paying.

Amanda 18:12

Yeah, yeah.

Josh 18:13

What do you think my role is?

Amanda 18:14

To keep me from getting hurt? Because you kept like moving me out of the way of people when we were in this restaurant this morning.

Josh 18:20

Well, no, I actually I was keeping you from knocking over the guy with all the dishes, but that's not it. My role in a restaurant, I've discovered, is to move all of the cups and the things away from the edge for everyone. I'm constantly going around, reaching across the table and moving the cup like within centimeters of the edge of the table and away from people's elbows to the center of the table.

Amanda 18:46

But you don't remember that this used to be a thing that drove you nuts even when the older boys were younger, because they had like this gift of putting it right on the edge of the table or the counter. So this is a thing you've you've been doing.

Josh 18:57

Yeah, no, but I just realized I just realized, I guess, that this is my role. This is what I do in the family. I'm safety control for that very specific thing. We have a very clumsy family. You realize this.

Amanda 19:09

We do, we do. And but what's gonna be funny is that you're gonna be the person who knocks the drink off, right? Because you've moved it for all of us, you're gonna knock your own off or something.

Josh 19:18

No, I'm not because I always keep my drink in front of me beyond the plate. We drink. It's never closer to me than that.

Amanda 19:23

Winthrop and I were driving you nuts yesterday because I was trying to distract him while we were waiting for food, and I asked him if you wanted to play slaps. So we were playing slap, like you know, the hand slapping thing, and you just took all of the dishes, all of the drinks and moved them over to the corner. You moved a flower vase. Well, yeah, I was trying to distract him.

Josh 19:48

The other thing that you do that annoys the mess out of me is you leave your keys and your phone on the table where people can grab them.

Amanda 19:54

I don't nobody was gonna run through the bingo deli and grab my phone.

Josh 19:58

Well, they could have. It's a thing that happens these days. People grab phones all the time. We were up ordering at the counter. You just left your your keys and your phone there on the table. Winthrop is sitting at the table. Winthrop's at the table. Yeah, but he's only small. What is he gonna do? And his he was face first into his um Rubik's cube. He wasn't paying attention to anything.

Amanda 20:18

Okay. Well, thank you for saving my phone and my geeks.

Josh 20:21

I realize that that maybe in the golden hue tint of your memory growing up in the late 80s, early 90s in Lakeland, Florida, that you could probably leave your garage door open, leave your car running, leave everything, and leave all your valuables out on the lawn and no one would touch them. But we do not live in that world anymore.

Amanda 20:42

Was it not like that for you in Miami in in the late 80s? Did you could you not like drag your valuables out onto the lawn? No, dude, my trampoline got stolen from my backyard in Lakeland in the late 80s.

Josh 20:54

Okay, and yet you leave your wallet in 2020, whatever this is, you know, half past the apocalypse, and there's your shit on the table for people to grab. No, in the 80s, yes. In Miami, sure, it was uh kind of the Wild West down there, but we would leave our door unlocked for any number of neighborhood people to come and go, and that was a thing.

Amanda 21:14

Did you lock it at night though?

Josh 21:15

Yeah, we locked it at night. Yes, that's the thing that happened. Also, but I was in single digits, I didn't I didn't know to care about that stuff.

Amanda 21:21

Yeah, all right.

Josh 21:22

Um, but but this is not the world in which we live anymore. It it is interesting though, and we've probably talked about this ad nauseum, all the things that you used to could do, right, that you cannot do anymore.

Amanda 21:34

Okay.

Josh 21:34

Well, like leave your door unlocked. You wouldn't even think about doing that. Like these days, I don't even like leaving my garage door open.

Amanda 21:40

No. Well, I don't like leaving a garage door open because it's embarrassing.

Josh 21:44

Okay. Well, I'd like for actually people to come take some of our stuff out of our garage.

Amanda 21:48

Too much stuff in that garage.

Josh 21:49

In fact, the difference between us leaving it open and and people taking stuff and stealing is simply a sign. We should just have a sign that says free take. Just take. First come, first come.

Amanda 22:00

Stealing, we're giving it away to you.

Josh 22:01

I just need you to be just a little bit front. I get nervous when we're driving around without the car doors locked. So that's true.

Amanda 22:08

You can't leave kids in cars anymore.

Josh 22:10

Well, no, we can't. We can't do that.

Amanda 22:12

That's what I'm saying. You can't do that. And you said things that we couldn't do that my mom I remember my mom pulling up to Sears, but we had a car, we had a carpool. So she had picked me and a couple other friends up at school, and she was driving us home, but she stopped at Sears to go in and pay her credit card bill, her Sears card bill, and left us in the like Impala or whatever this giant car was. It was a Buick or something.

Josh 22:35

Now, did she leave it on or did she crack the windows like you were doing?

Amanda 22:38

I think the windows were cranked down a little bit, and like, but not enough that somebody could reach in and grab it, grab us, or unlock the door and left us all in the back seat, not in any kind of seatbelt restraint situation.

Josh 22:50

Well, she wouldn't restrain you while you're parked. That would be weird. That's a hostage situation.

Amanda 22:55

Now I get upset when dogs are in cars alone.

Josh 22:57

That's true. That's true. Can't have that anymore. Um here's the thing, though. That's all I'm asking you. Don't leave your wallet or your keys anywhere where people can can see them. In fact, when you carry a purse, I don't like it when you have it even hanging on the outside of your chair. Like I want it hanging between you and I at least. I just, I mean, people have you been robbed? Huh?

Amanda 23:19

Have you been robbed?

Josh 23:20

No.

Amanda 23:21

You behave like someone who has PTSD about this.

Josh 23:24

No, I just I have anxiety. That's a thing. Uh that what it was anxiety is like uh um anticipatory PTSD. Is that what it is or something? Um no, the only thing that's ever happened to me that I can remember offhand where someone perpetrated some sort of crime upon me. I got my car one morning, one Sunday morning. I'll never forget it. And I look over and I notice glass on the this passenger seat next to me. Have I told you this story? And I'm like, what the hell? And so I'm looking around and I don't see um any sort of broken window. Look at my back window, I look in the mirror and there's a hole in my back window. I'm like, well, how the hell does that happen? So I have to look around and I notice in the the footwell or the wheel well of the front passenger seat is one of those large, we used to call them elephant turds, which is just one of those cement things that you put on the side of the road so people won't go up into your yard. Someone apparently uh had near as near as I can figure, they drove by just threw it and threw it out their window or something.

Amanda 24:24

And oh, that's horrible.

Josh 24:26

Yeah. So I mean, but I don't have any sort of anxiety about that happening.

Amanda 24:30

You're not worried about our windows.

Josh 24:32

Well, number one, that feels very random, and number two, I actually don't see those things anymore.

Amanda 24:36

Yeah.

Josh 24:36

When's the last time you saw one of those things?

Amanda 24:38

I don't know that I've ever paid attention to those things.

Josh 24:40

Yeah. So anyway, all I'm asking you is not to have your wallet and your keys out and your phone.

Amanda 24:46

All right. Done.

Speaker 1 25:09

Can you dig it? Can you dig it? Can you dig it?

unknown 25:20

Okay, I got it.

Listener Messages And Neighborhood Tangents\n

Josh 25:22

It's time for your emails and your texts. I say that because we received a text from Refined Gay Jeff. Actually, I don't think you received this text. I responded to it. No, you didn't get this one.

Amanda 25:33

Oh, he sent one saying that he just listened to the episode and he hoped that I was doing better.

Josh 25:37

Oh, yeah, no, this is a different one. He says, I just did the most masculine thing ever. I took the one wire hanger that was in the house left over from some dry cleaning and unwound it to stick down into and fish out dryer lint at the bottom of my dryer. Oh. Mother of God, there's enough dust down there to create life. Still didn't get it all, but I'm feeling really good about myself. Hashtag how butcham I Good job, Jeff.

Amanda 26:02

Um I love that you only have one wire hanger which says that you care about your clothes. But also, I I am afraid of I've been seeing people saying you really need to clean your washer, but it's like super gross.

Josh 26:17

What do you mean, clean?

Amanda 26:18

There's a filter in your washer, like where all of the like Where is this filter? I don't know, but YouTube will or TikTok will tell us. And it apparently you're supposed to clean it, but it's apparently very, very gross, and I don't want to do it.

Josh 26:29

Oh man, I wish I could have just lived in ignorance. Um, okay, now I'm gonna have to clean up the channel. You're gonna have to do this now. Absolutely. All right, Jeff, get right on that. You need to now use your your wire hanger tool to clean out the muck from your washing machine. We have an email from Kate.

Amanda 26:46

Neighbor Kate.

Josh 26:47

Yeah. So she says, Amanda, I relate to every single thing you are going through. Thank you, Kate. If you would like to create a list of bullet points of things mentioned in the episode, I will come on for a follow-up episode to validate, affirm, and commiserate with you on each point. No, seriously, I wonder if you don't need me to guess again so I can mediate the marriage 2.0 shenanigans.

Amanda 27:07

Yeah, there are some shenanigans, Kate. You made me cry.

Josh 27:10

There will be no mediation happening that I don't have the power of the S button over. She says, a couple of other notes. The game of life is so stressful. We have played it several times. No one enjoys it. Okay, then the obvious question is why have you played it several times if no one enjoys it?

Amanda 27:28

I like the game of life.

Josh 27:30

Clearly, someone, Kate, in your family enjoys it, or you would not be doing it. Everyone feels sad and is currently sitting in my garage waiting to be donated so it can torture some other family.

Amanda 27:40

Everyone feels sad?

Josh 27:42

About the game. Oh, okay. I I broke I broke that sentence up.

Amanda 27:47

In a weird place. Everyone feels sad and is currently sitting in my garage waiting to be donated.

Josh 27:52

No one enjoys it. Everyone feels sad, is how that was meant to go.

Amanda 27:56

I just pictured all of Kate's family sitting in her garage waiting to be donated to other families.

Josh 28:01

Okay. Speaking of families and your mention of polyamory, remember when you guys came over for dinner and I made Merry Meat Chicken and made sure that you knew that it was not because we were proposing a polyamorous uh relationship.

Amanda 28:14

Yeah, except that then we talked about three houses for sale in the neighborhood.

Josh 28:18

That being said, I do think that the three houses in a row for sale in our neighborhood would be a perfect would be perfect for a polyamorous man with three wives. What about a polyamorous woman with three husbands?

Amanda 28:33

Or what about three couples who are just into polyamory? That's not a thruple. What is that?

Josh 28:38

Huh?

Amanda 28:39

Six people in a relationship.

Josh 28:43

However, they've all been for sale for over a year, so I guess that no one has picked up on that opportunity. I think that you need a special kind of realtor to handle those properties. And I'm certain that I've just given someone an idea.

Amanda 28:56

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like it's like a compound.

Josh 28:58

Yes, yes. But I'm saying is that you specialize in setting up polyamorous uh couples, thruples, whatever, in specialized housing.

Amanda 29:07

There you go.

Josh 29:08

Speaking of our neighborhood, go ahead and get chickens, because we did mention that. It is forbidden in the HOA. Really, let me see the line that says no chickens. I want to see that. But I know for a fact that no one is going to care or complain. And if they do, the HOA won't do a damn thing about it. Just stick to chickens. It's the rooster crowing that maybe get people up in arms.

Amanda 29:28

Chickens can get loud too, though. Muffy used to chicken sit uh for friends of ours. Those chickens are no longer with us. Well, she was cat sitting and the chickens were there as we had to take care of them. But I mean, they these chickens had attitude. And I had several fights with him. And so I don't know. I don't want chickens.

Josh 29:46

And she says, finally, once again on the neighborhood note, Josh is gonna have to live with you in that house forever, specifically until he dies. Because we will never, ever, ever be able to sell our property.

Amanda 29:59

Yes. I mean, maybe 20 years from now we can.

Josh 30:02

Why? How?

Amanda 30:03

Will you still be alive in 20 years? Huh? Will you still be alive in 2020?

Josh 30:05

Why do you think in 20 years that this dump is gonna get better? And I say dump in the most loving way. It's not our house, it's not our neighbors' houses, it's that our neighborhood is managed by people who don't know what they're doing. And so there, therefore, it is a dump.

Amanda 30:18

But the reason I say that is because we are very quickly running out of property on this side of town to develop. And so in the next 20 years, somebody is gonna come through and want to develop this into a nice neighborhood, and or they want to like plow it all down and build something, but they have to buy me out of my house, and that's fine too.

Josh 30:37

Pennies on the dollar, my friend. She says, Whoops, didn't mean to give you another bullet point to be stressed about and then clearly cause an argument about. Love you so much. Signed neighbor Kate. There you go. Hi Kate. All right, if you would like to drop us a line, please do, but please don't remind us of anything that we're arguing about or cause us any more marital strife. Thank you. FamiliarWilsons at gmail.com. You want to send us a text, however, you gotta have our number, and I don't just give that away to anyone.

Amanda 31:07

Except for Coach Steve.

Marco Pillow Bit And Recommendations\n

Josh 31:09

Except for Coach Steve. If this is you, Wilson Technologies has the answer to a better night's sleep. Introducing the Marco Pillow. That's right. If you're missing your pillow in the middle of the night, simply call out Marco, and your pillow responds, Hello, and you will instantly know where your pillow is in your darkened room. No more casting about in the middle of the night, fumbling around looking for your pillow. No more arguments with your spouse. That's my pillow. Oh no, it's not. Just listen to these happy customers.

Amanda 32:17

Where is my pillow? Do you have my pillow?

Josh 32:23

No.

Amanda 32:25

Marco. Marco? You do have my pillow. Ew, what is my pillow doing there?

Josh 32:37

Order yours now, so that finding your pillow is as easy as Marco. No one likes to be told what to do. And now is the time in the program where we tell you what to do. Amanda, what should we do?

Amanda 33:02

Well, I was gonna recommend going to restaurants in town that you don't usually go to. Because so we went to Bingo Deli yesterday. So if you're in Gainesville, Bingo Deli at South Main Station has vegan, vegetarian, and carnivorous menu options. Really, really good. I had a very good, basically, what was their fancy cheesesteak. So good. Split it with Winthrop. He ate more than I did. Um, but I also have another recommendation that's totally an aside. So while we are at this one, don't just go to the same place over and over. Go find a place you've not been to and go go try that out.

Josh 33:39

Be a tourist in your own town. Yeah. Is what I like to say.

Amanda 33:42

So we went on Friday, we went there is a Buddhist meditation garden here in town with giant statues. And we have been there, what, like during COVID or something. So we went back and walked around, and it's there are just I guarantee you there are things that you don't expect in your hometown.

Josh 33:58

If you're in Gainsaw, look up Anand Temple, Buddhist Temple and Park. And it is in the middle of a neighborhood with these huge statues that were brought over from Vietnam, which I'd like to know how they brought them over.

Amanda 34:11

Boat.

Josh 34:12

Yeah, no, no, no, I know, but how they got them from there to the coast. I'm just imagining a giant helicopter, like Vietnam era helicopter, one of those big licenses. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, go ahead.

Amanda 34:24

All right. The other thing is if you are into true crime, I have discovered a new podcast with Kate Dawson and Paul Holes. It is called Buried Bones. And the conceit on this is there's all the true crime podcasts and the murder podcast and all this stuff out there. But this one is really interesting because they do old cases. So I'm listening to one right now from the 1830s, but Paul Holes is a forensic investigator, and so he brings sort of the new forensic pathology lens to these old cases. And that's really interesting to me. Uh, I didn't make a bad choice though. I was listening to one, it was the first live show on the Black Dahlia, which was the famous um case from the from Hollywood or LA in the 1940s. But I mean, it's it's it was really sadistic and they it's still not been solved, but it was interesting to hear Paul Holes talk about how he thinks the LAPD went the wrong way with um with the um what's it called, the profiling of the perpetrator. And um, but I left home yesterday. It was dark in the morning, it was really foggy, and I was driving across town listening to this really spooky podcast by myself. Fortunately, the conference was at a church, so I got there and quickly proceeded to rub all the crosses.

Josh 35:40

Okay, very good. I'd like to suggest a couple of things. First of all, there's a band in Gainesville called Drive Away, it's pop-inspired guitar rock and really, really interesting sound. I like it a lot. So look up Drive Away, Gainesville Band. And then next, I've discovered a show from 2014 called Vicious. It is starring Ian McKellen and Derek Jacoby as two married men who are in their like mid-70s. It is in the the vibe is like one of the 1970s, 1980s scripted comedy. Yeah. But it is just so funny to watch, particularly because Ian McKellen just lives in his role.

Amanda 36:30

He does. And it's really cool because it's shot like a play. I mean, it looks like a one-camera shot. Um, and it I mean, it feels like a theater set, and it's but they're just so mean to each other, but they love each other, but it's it's just the performances are just amazing.

Josh 36:46

Yeah, so particularly if you liked, and I'm dating myself here, like Barney Miller or Sanford and Sun or any of these shows way back in the day. This reminds me of like the gay version of that. Yeah. Very, very fun. Loved it.

Amanda 36:57

The two leads are stellar actors.

Wrap Up Thanks And Post Show Banter

Josh 37:00

They are so there. So there you go. If you would like to recommend something for us to recommend to everyone else, then email us at familiarwilsons at gmail.com. All right, Amanda, that's all there is. There is no more. What'd you think of that mess?

Amanda 37:27

I mean, I didn't cry, so I feel like it's a success.

Josh 37:30

Well, we're gonna see our true fans, the people who return after that episode.

Amanda 37:35

You know, listen, we got nice things. The Belson said nice things.

Josh 37:38

We got nice things. This is why we can't have nice things.

Amanda 37:41

Jeff sent nice words, Kate sent nice words. People were nice to me.

Josh 37:46

Yeah, you've got sympathy. What can I say? Nice people listen to us. I don't know why. All right, so here are some of our listeners and just in general people that we could not uh live without in the world of this podcast.

Amanda 37:57

I mean, I could probably live without him, but just wouldn't be able to do this podcast.

Josh 38:00

Alright, so thank you to Antonio as Frank, to Matt as Peter, to Josh Scarr as David, to Daniel J. Buckets playing Frank's wife, to Justin as Billy the Impaler, to Leo as Super Philip the Battle Droid, to Chicken Tom as the nosy neighbor, to Joey. Joey, to Ryan Baker as the guy who spent the last 12 years in the gulag, to Monique from Germany as Queen Starship, to Refined Gay Jeff as the man with the lint, to Mark and Rachel as the innkeepers, and to Dan and Gavin, who appear courtesy of Paramount Television. Thank you also to Ricky Kendall for our music, to Chris Barron for music, and for AJCW also for music. Lots of music happening around here. Alright, folks, until next week. I hope that we did not traumatize you too very much. I hope that you learn something and that you go out there and you sprinkle a little bit of Wilson on everyone that you meet.

Amanda 39:03

That just sounds maybe gross, but um just go be kind.

Josh 39:07

Bye.

Amanda 39:08

Bye.

Speaker 39:11

Welcome back to the conversation. Tell me who I'm talking to. Get on down to imagination. You want me and I am you.

Josh 39:48

What happened to yes and when I say sprinkle Wilson, you say you do you yes and that.

Amanda 39:54

I yes and that by saying that sounds gross. No, then said go be kind. No, you said it was-I don't think that you know what yes and means.

Josh 40:02

Listen, I don't think you understand and know my theater background.

Amanda 40:07

Okay. Let's yes, that's good. But also, maybe sometimes that needs to just be put to bed. It doesn't need to be yes anded, sprinkling Wilson. Huh? The podcast is over. I say go be kind. That didn't need to be yes anded. I yes anded your whole wheel.

Josh 40:25

You didn't like the wheel?

Amanda 40:26

No, it was fine.