The Kidney Stone, The Colonoscopy, and The Cardinal

This week on Super Familiar with the Wilsons, Amanda and Josh wander through the glamorous middle-aged carnival of kidney stones, medical waiting rooms, colonoscopy overachievement, Mother’s Day grocery-store flower panic, and the quiet horror of realizing your favorite songs now play in retirement communities.

There are bird feeder breakthroughs, tiny pub dreams, invented words, listener mail, home decluttering wisdom, aging Gen X discomfort, Microsoft Teams rage, and the sudden realization that comfort is no longer a luxury.

A journey through marriage 2.0, parenting, aging, health weirdness, Florida backyard birds, and the side quests that keep showing up with a hoodie, chocolate milk, and a condom wrapper.

Super Familiar with The Wilsons 
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A Familiar Wilsons Production

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Welcome back to the conversation. You don't go to the magnet. You don't want me to familiate. I want to be familiar. Don't be stranger.

Amanda 0:40

Welcome to Super Familiar with the Wilsons. I'm Amanda.

Josh 0:43

And I'm Josh, and this is the podcast about marriage 2.0 with kids.

Amanda 0:47

And side quests.

Josh 0:48

Amanda, we haven't done anything this week, have we?

Amanda 0:51

I've done many things this week, just all internal to my body.

Josh 0:55

We still have the kidney stone, which it's been recommended we name it Hortensia.

Amanda 1:01

Yes. So we had we had named it Cheryl to rhyme with Daryl, but uh Refine Gay Jeff has renamed her Hortensia.

Josh 1:09

Well, that was just one of the suggestions. We also had another suggestion that we call it your other kidney stone, Daryl.

Amanda 1:18

Yes, Daryl and his other brother Daryl. I thought about I yeah, yeah. I thought about that when we were recording last week, but I was like, wow, that really ages me if I go the New Heart show route.

Josh 1:27

So well, at least it's the second New Heart show, not the first one. We could also name it Larry.

Amanda 1:33

Larry Daryl and Daryl.

Josh 1:34

That'll be the third route.

Kidney Stone Updates And Urgent Care

Amanda 1:35

That would be the third. I'd like to not have another, thank you. So yeah, so last week after we recorded, we went to urgent care and sure enough, was diagnosed with a kidney stone. And um, that was a fun time. That was a great time.

Josh 1:48

Urgent care is an interesting place though, because it's in the in the middle of the one we went to is in the middle of a just a strip mall, like shopping mall type of place. And as I'm walking in, I look down and I see a nice little tableau right down from the door. It was a someone had left a sweater, like a hoodie, rather, a pint of chocolate milk, and a condom wrapper.

Amanda 2:17

I mean, it is right next door to the cannabis store and Domino's pizza. So I'm not quite sure what was happening.

Josh 2:24

Horny and hungry needed some milk at the same time. Yes. So that was interesting. You did go to urgent care, and then we went day before yesterday to have your plumbing checked. So we got all that done. And yeah, it's been a very event. But the kidney stone still there.

Amanda 2:43

Hanging out, which is great because in order to have the procedure had on Friday, I had to stop pain meds on Wednesday. So that was uh it was great, and it was fine. It was the you know, the procedure everybody has to have once they turn 50. Everything went fine. I'm great, I'll have to go back for 10 more years. But I do want to talk about this nurse that I had. She just started. I don't know if I just exuded, I'm in periomenopause, I identify with you, because it was early in the morning. I was insanely dehydrated. I had lost five pounds from one day to the next because I was super dehydrated and I thought that I was drinking a ton of water.

Josh 3:17

Because of the treatment that they gave you for your colonoscopy, where they gotta you basically gotta be perfectly cleaned out.

Amanda 3:25

And I got I got high marks, I got nine out of nine, I got best prep for the day. Like I am an overachiever in every kind of school environment.

Josh 3:32

And what you're saying is that the doctors gave you that. You didn't give yourself apply. The doctors gave me that because why would you give yourself a nine-point scale? That would be weird.

Amanda 3:39

Nine out of nine. Maybe it's like a nine checklist or whatever. It's fine. But anyway, so the nurse was having a really hard time getting the IV and me because I couldn't get my veins, and then they hit a valve, whatever that means, but it's horrible and I hated it.

Josh 3:51

Yes, apparently we have valves, folks. If you didn't know we had valves in our our blood vessels, we have valves. It's a thing. I never seen the little twist knobs, but apparently they're there somewhere. They're valves.

Amanda 4:02

So she, I think, in order to distract me, just started talking to me about her hot flashes and how when she goes to her son's house in Virginia, she'll go out into the snow in her underwear and just stand there. And then, you know, you didn't tell me that. No, I didn't. And that her son tries to get her to come back inside and she tells him to leave her alone and that she's just enjoying the cold because it was so cold in in the the OR or wherever that place was. And so we were talking about that and how she was probably like, You're probably really happy to be to be cold. So then she said, Do you want to see my socks? And she said, And it's silly sock day.

Josh 4:38

Is it gonna be followed shortly by you stripping off and trying to find some snow?

Amanda 4:42

Yes. So she I had noticed when she was doing my intake that she had leopard print socks on, but she pulled up her her scrub pant leg to her knee, and these were knee-high socks, and her sock said, feeling a little, and then I'm not gonna say the word because the word is not okay in the in America. In the UK, they're more free with it, but it rhymes with hunty, as as RuPaul would say. And I was like, wow. And the other nurse who was younger just looked so scandalized that she showed this to a patient, and she looked at the nurse and she said, She's in perimenopause, it's fine. Like I should she understands. And then she told me that the day before she wore socks that said F around and find out, but it didn't say F. She said it. So anyway, fuck around and find out.

Josh 5:21

We listen, we say these words, it's okay.

Amanda 5:24

I know, but I'm trying to behave on Mother's Day.

Josh 5:26

Oh, is that what it is? I was annoyed because when we went in, we checked you in, and of course, I had to stay there to case anything happened. Like I'd be able to do something. Oh, I'll I'll jump right in. I'm familiar with that part of her body.

Amanda 5:39

Oh my gosh, let's just keep talking.

Josh 5:42

But the nurse who finally came to get you, just coughing up a storm. Same nurse. Coughing up a storm. She was. I was so annoyed. Yeah. Like, don't come to work or wear a mask. Why are you in the nursing profession and you're just coming out? Same nurse.

Amanda 5:58

She clearly gave no no Fs. Like she was just, she she didn't care. And then she told me, this was the other thing I said, I told you to make a note. She said, ignore the brown stuff under my nails.

Josh 6:09

Oh. Not what you want to hear from the the colon people, yes.

Amanda 6:14

Right. But then she proceeded to tell me that they had just remulched her backyard, and her son had convinced her to do like the dyed black mulch. And so she had it under her nails. But it was just the whole thing.

Josh 6:25

Aren't they supposed to thoroughly wash their hands?

Amanda 6:28

Clearly, she wasn't.

Josh 6:29

Oh my god. I'm glad I didn't know any of this stuff beforehand. It's bad enough that she was coughing all over. And she so she goes to the desk and she talks to the receptionist at the desk, and I'm watching her, and she's coughing, and I'm like, damn it, she better not come over here to come and get you. And of course, she does. Stands entirely too close to us as well. I was not happy with all that. But you you got everything done. Everything's fine.

Amanda 6:54

I'm very healthy. I'm an overachiever at any kind of test.

Josh 6:58

But still have the kidney stone. We were hoping that that that would all be fleshed out by now.

Amanda 7:04

She's here and she's yeah, I just took some payments. But I mean, the last time when I had Daryl, it took me a month.

The Quiet Ways Getting Older Shows

Josh 7:10

Yeah, well, I was kind of hoping that that wouldn't be the case. This got me thinking, though, down this road of us aging.

Amanda 7:18

Yeah, it sucks.

Josh 7:20

And actually, while I was sitting waiting for you, I was making a list of things that that have happened to me or that I do now that I didn't realize I did. And taken all together, it says, man, you're getting old. Like taken individually, their their little personality works. Taken together, it's like, Jesus, go make sure that you got your coffin size. So things that I do now, right? I wear undershirts now. That was I never wore an undershirt, and I used to always wonder why do people wear undershirts?

Amanda 7:48

But why do people wear like why do you do it? What does it provide for?

Josh 7:51

Well, it's not for fashion, it's not for warmth because we're in Florida. It's because I started to wear collared shirts and ties at work, which is nothing I'd ever usually done. And I've reached the age now where my body creates weather.

Amanda 8:06

A whole weather system happening under your clothes.

Josh 8:10

So I I need to have I need to have buffers between me and the outside world. And so now, but it's interesting because I don't have to wear undershirts with like regular shirts. Yeah. I found myself yesterday, and I don't have one on now, um, and I miss it, but yesterday I was getting dressed to go out to go run run errands and go to soccer, and I put on an undershirt.

Amanda 8:33

I noticed you were wearing an undershirt at soccer.

Josh 8:35

Because I missed it.

Amanda 8:36

Oh, that's cute.

Josh 8:38

Is it so anyway? Again, like that's that's an old man thing. Uh, I realized that I used to love wearing flip-flops, right? Used to love it. I've worn it a couple times uh last couple days because we've been going in and out of the house, and we got this whole thing now about not wearing the shoes in the house. That's probably another three podcast episodes, the neuroses that are happening in this house around keeping it clean and because we can't control anything else in the world. Yeah, that's what it is. So, but I realized that I really like wearing socks now.

Amanda 9:08

Okay. I will forever love my flip-flops, but I'm happy, I'm happy for you and your socks.

Josh 9:15

Yeah, but I I feel you also really love your ID desk, though. Here's something that I noticed. I have like favorites of things that no sane person should have favorite things of. I have a favorite plate.

Amanda 9:28

You do have a favorite plate.

Josh 9:30

I have a favorite bowl or set of blue.

Amanda 9:32

You get really mad when your plate is not clean.

Josh 9:34

I have a favorite mug.

Amanda 9:36

Yes.

Josh 9:37

This is kind of terrifying to me. This, you know, it it's like it reminds me of like you go into someone's house and the grandpa is upset because you're sitting in his chair. His chair. Do you have a chair? No, I don't have a chair.

Amanda 9:49

Do you have a corner of the couch?

Josh 9:50

Um, no, no, I was thinking about as I was going through this, other things that I know are coming at some point. Is like I'm gonna have a favorite chair. We don't own my favorite chair yet, by the way.

Amanda 10:01

Are we gonna get it for the pub?

Josh 10:03

I don't know, but I'm just saying that we don't own a chair yet, that I'm so in love with that I need it to be my favorite chair. I do have favorite shoes, actually, now I think about it.

Amanda 10:10

Yeah, you're you're a Dadus.

Josh 10:12

And I guess the undershirt would be my favorite upperwear. Yeah, I don't have favorite trousers, square.

Amanda 10:18

But would you be okay if the undershirt was just a shirt? Like you didn't have something over it.

Josh 10:23

Well, no, then it's not an undershirt, is it? That's a silly question. Okay, go ahead. Moving on. With all these things, I'm starting to realize that comfort is not a luxury. Comfort is now for me at my age infrastructure.

Amanda 10:36

Yeah, no, that's right. Yes, this is a thing.

Josh 10:38

I have a favorite pen now.

Amanda 10:40

Oh no, but I've always like had like I need I need a pen to write a certain way, I need it to glide smoothly. I that's a thing. People like certain.

Josh 10:50

I have never had a favorite writing implement. Oh. Like I'm a half step away from writing grumpy letters to City Hall now with my favorite pen. That's where I am now.

Amanda 10:59

No, we are happy with our city hall.

Josh 11:01

I use toothpicks now.

Amanda 11:03

You do, and it drives me absolutely insane. And I'm trying very, very hard to not unpack my baggage on you. But that is Mayo Milligan written all over it. My dad.

Josh 11:13

Yeah, your dad.

Amanda 11:14

Constantly having a toothpick in his mouth. And it is not something you don't want to be thinking about your dad when you're looking at your husband.

Josh 11:20

I know, but it is something. It may just be an old man thing where you stop using it for its purpose and you start using toothpicks recreationally.

Amanda 11:27

I looked at you yesterday and you were shoving one in your ear.

Josh 11:30

Well, no, I wasn't scratching the outer ear. I was not shoving ear.

Amanda 11:34

You were a half a step away from scratching your ear with a fork. Okay, but see, now also what about Sansa Belt trousers? That's an old man thing.

Josh 11:43

I don't think that they use those anymore, though.

Amanda 11:45

They don't make those anymore?

Josh 11:46

Um not that I'm aware of. Maybe they do, actually. I I but I mean, the nod to that today is less about age and more about the fact that America's becoming larger and larger. Everything is made out of stretchy fabric.

Amanda 11:58

Mayo loved himself a pair of Sansa belts.

Josh 12:00

Yeah, yeah. So injuries now come from sleeping.

Amanda 12:04

Oh, well, yeah. You just hurt just lying down.

Josh 12:08

Um, so my right now I I'm in between sleeping postures, right? I'm trying to figure out a new sleep posture because I changed it from uh being a stomach sleeper to a side sleeper, which was great. Except now my shoulder constantly hurts because I like I favor the right side, and also that's better for blood pressure, it's better for reflux.

Amanda 12:26

I have opinions about why you hurt like you do, but you don't want to hear me.

Josh 12:30

Okay. Why what is that?

Amanda 12:32

Because we have this the cervical spine pillows, right? But you put a pillow underneath it, and so you are now at an angle that your body is not meant to be. The pillow is for being a shoulder a side sleeper, a back sleeper, a stomach sleeper to keep your neck and your shoulder in line, and you don't keep it in line because you're elevated. If you would just try it with it laying flat, I think you'd do a lot better. But you get mad at me when I try to talk to you about this at night. You tell me to let you live your life, but then I have to hear you complain about how much you hurt. So I'm not quite sure how I balance this.

Josh 13:07

Well, you just listen. You just listen, you just listen. This is what a good partner's job is is not to solve, just to listen and validate.

Amanda 13:16

Okay. So we listen, we do not judge.

Josh 13:19

Yeah, there we go. I have hurt myself sneezing, like I've genuinely hurt my back and neck sneezing before.

Amanda 13:25

That's that's old.

Gen X Soundtracks And Losing The Charts

Josh 13:26

I mean, that's ridiculous, though. You know, I I go into work and I'm looking all skewed, and people ask me why me and my neck are no longer on speaking terms, and I say I sneezed. I sneezed, and it's ridiculous. Now I work in a retirement community, but I don't want to relate in that way. Right. It is another one of my things is because I work in a retirement community. My favorite songs from when I grew up, now they play it on the sound system. Yes. Like in the dining room.

Amanda 13:54

That's so good.

Josh 13:56

That's not good. It's ridiculous.

Amanda 13:57

Well, I will say at the endoscopy, and and and how will you say that word?

Josh 14:02

Endoscopy.

Amanda 14:03

Endoscopy, that's how we say it. At the endoscopy center, solid gen X playlist.

Josh 14:08

Yeah.

Amanda 14:08

Uh, I forgot to say this. As um they were hooking me up to the propofol or whatever, the anesthesiologist is singing Bohemian Rhapsody in my ear. You don't want to hear him sing, Mama, I just killed a man, right before you go under.

Josh 14:22

Okay, you need to paint the picture a little bit better because now I imagine him leaning over and sing whispering into your ear.

Amanda 14:30

He was singing.

Josh 14:31

Mama, I just killed a man, and then whoop, you're gone. Like a wave of panic, and then you're out. You mean he was just in the room singing?

Amanda 14:38

He was in the room singing, but he was like, he was like, Oh, you can't not sing this song. Like when it came on, he was like, You can't not sing this song. But he was hooking me up. So he was leaning over me, like behind my head, as he sang, Mama Just Killed a Man, or I just killed a man, like in my ear. Legit was like leaning over me when he sang it.

Josh 14:55

That's one thing about these medical centers is there's always music playing, right? Because I guess the staff, I mean, it helps the staff, and it's always so cold. It's the worst Arctic rave you could ever want to go to because at the end of it I was sick of Gen X music and I did not want to be cold anymore. I was in there for three hours waiting. I'm sorry. It was tough. I had it tough just sitting there in the waiting room doing nothing. I'm so sorry.

Amanda 15:21

I'm so sorry that was difficult for you. Anyway, um, and I forgot to say I woke up to uh King of Pain was playing by by the police, yes.

Josh 15:28

Yes, so um another thing is that I don't know any of the songs, probably in the top 50 right now. No, and haven't for a while. Um does that make you sad? Uh you did? I mean, I used to always be super in touch with the music. Even when, you know, when my kids had aged out, like the older boys, I was still working with teenagers, and so I I knew the songs. Now, like music, I'm used to it being a shared culture, like it's a unifying language. Now, like kids are listening to like music genres that I've never even heard of Icelandic vape goblin music or whatever, you know, is popular. I don't know what the hell it is. So, like music in general used to be a connector, yeah, especially for me, because I was so um introverted as a kid, but at least I you know I knew the music, and and you know, you could start a conversation about oh, you know, did you hear the new REM song or whatever? Now forget about it. I have no shot, I have no chance.

Amanda 16:26

I don't know that I really care. And it's like, when did you cross that line? Because when you're younger, you're thinking like, oh, old people, they just don't get it, they don't stay in touch, you know, they don't like this new rock and roll or whatever. And now it's like I don't like Icelandic vape goblin music, and I don't want to like it. So definitely like I've hit the I just want to sit outside and look at birds, and I don't like your goblin music, which by the way, I'm not allowed to talk about the birds today.

Josh 16:49

We'll talk about the birds later. I got a thing about it.

Amanda 16:52

I was just saying that Josh made me promise to not talk about the birds while we were recording outside.

Tech Fatigue And Software Rage

Josh 16:56

Yeah, I got a thing about it. No worries. Okay. I am absolutely done learning new computer systems and new software.

Amanda 17:01

Yeah, no, you've hit the like technology is that's the thing, is you've always been technologically savvy. You're done now.

Josh 17:07

Yeah. No, no. Each app that I open, even new apps, like feels like it's designed by like a 13-year-old somewhere in Romania named Trevor, and I don't know where what Trevor's thinking. I don't understand. Forget about like they just switched to Microsoft Teams at our place.

Amanda 17:23

Microsoft Teams is the worst.

Josh 17:25

Well, maybe it's the worst, or maybe I'm just not willing to learn any new things.

Amanda 17:32

No, it's bad. Because we we use Microsoft Suite at work, and it is um I you saw the thing where there's a video of the Artemis crew, and one in space, one of the guys is saying, I can see that I have Outlook notifications, but I can't get it to open. Yes. It doesn't work on Earth.

Josh 17:52

Yes.

Amanda 17:52

Why do we think it's going to work in space? It is a horrible, horrible idea. I still have a hard time. I can't even figure out Word. Word and I still don't get along. I was trying to submit, so I'm starting back and working on my my doctoral program. My courses start tomorrow, but I had to submit something last week and I had to submit it on Canvas, and I submitted it the morning before the Canvas hack happened. And I could not get this document to format. It was a two-page document, and the instructions were remove all of the instructions so that you have one page and it's just your course of study and your signature. I figured out the whole thing about how to like convert it to a PDF, use Adobe to sign it, and then convert it back to the Word doc so I could submit it in Canvas. But there I could not move a ta a table up. Like it would not move. I could not move it. Have you ever had a hard time moving things in Word? Okay, clearly you haven't. Anyway, finally figured out after much research, there was a freaking like ghost page break in the middle of a page, and I had to like put formatting on and figure it out. So I'm still just trying to figure out technology that's been around since like 1993. I cannot figure out new technology. It's not gonna be a thing I do.

Josh 19:13

I'm stressed because this phone is pretty old. Pretty soon I'm gonna have to get a new one. Yeah. And it's they're gonna have changed all the shit, man.

Amanda 19:20

That thing's been paid off for a while.

Josh 19:22

It works. No, I knew it was paid off. I knew it was paid off. Um, and then lastly, there's entire countries that don't exist anymore that existed when I was a kid.

Amanda 19:31

Well, but they were all part of like the USSR, right?

Josh 19:34

New countries on the map, new genres of music, empires have risen and fallen. Uh, and meanwhile, I just can't find where my favorite fucking pen has gone to. This is where I am. I am officially, I've crossed that. I don't know when I crossed that line. Maybe it was the the t-shirts, I don't know where I am an old man. And don't say, oh, it's a state of mind, you know, number it's just a number, it doesn't matter. I don't know what to tell you. I'm there, I'm on the other side. You are now married to an old man.

Amanda 20:05

How far away do you think we are from the kids having to work the remotes to the TV for us?

Josh 20:10

Oh man. Well, you see, that I don't know what that's due to because right now I just don't want to get up to get the remote.

Amanda 20:15

Right, okay.

Josh 20:15

And also the remote is so fucking small I can hardly see it now.

Amanda 20:18

Right, we need the remote that's big and it has on off up down, that's it.

Josh 20:24

What up down? What up? The channels up and down, the volume up and down. Or it could just be one button that just cycles through all the channels because you give me choices, then we've got a problem. Yeah. So just an on-off button, one button to advance the channels, and then if you want the button, you know, if you want the channel that's before the one that you gotta go all the way back. You gotta go all the way back, but at least I know just keep hitting the damn button. And then volume, but at this point we're gonna get to the point where it just needs to be loud. Yeah, just always loud. Here's the thing about getting old you get extremely specific. Like favorite pens and and so that's the thing about about uh aging. It's just as you as you advance, you just get more and more and more specific.

Amanda 21:06

Okay.

Josh 21:07

That's it.

Amanda 21:07

Okay. Well, I mean, I'm okay with that. As long as you specifically like me, that's fine.

Mother’s Day Errands And Flower Math

Josh 21:13

Yes. Okay. I love you. Happy Mother's Day. Thank you. Speaking of Mother's Day, I was at the grocery store at 7 this morning.

Amanda 21:21

Why were you? Why did you go at 7? Was that 7? I thought it was 8 something when you left.

Josh 21:26

No, ma'am. It was at 7 o'clock.

Amanda 21:28

That grocery store opens at 7.

Josh 21:31

Like like whatever. Like maybe 7.15. But I was I was up early because I had to get a couple of um herbs and spices that we couldn't get.

Amanda 21:38

You're making me KFC.

Josh 21:40

Yeah, no, I am fixing you lunch. It is chicken, but it will not be uh KFC. It was interesting because I did decide that I wouldn't pick up your flowers till this morning. Yeah. Because I didn't want like older flowers, I didn't want them to sit in a place. That's what I did last year. Is I had to keep them somewhere. Where did I keep them? In the garage, but I was afraid that they would melt because it's so fresh. Fucking hot. So I just went and I bought them, but then I also got the these herbs that I needed. Interesting to see all of the desperate people shopping for Mother's Day. Like I was chill. I knew I'm gonna get the flowers. I'm here for these herbs. It's fine. I also got you some bird seed as well.

Amanda 22:17

You did amazing laby.

Josh 22:18

And guys shopping for flowers, they spend a long time looking at the flowers. They don't know what the fuck they're looking for. Just pick the flowers up. Just pick the flowers up. It doesn't matter. Don't pull the flowers. He pulled no fewer than like six of the arrangements off of the shelf, looked at it, and put it back. I saw them, could not tell it.

Amanda 22:35

Were there any difference between them?

Josh 22:37

I I just think that that what was happening there inside of him is that he was replaying whatever argument they had just had or whatever state of their relationship is. And I think the longer that you take to pick shit for your spouse, the more in trouble you are. The more you have to save, the more that's at stake. Yes. You know, in this book.

Amanda 22:55

So you didn't feel any stress pulling my flowers off the shelf.

Josh 22:58

We're fine. We're good. We're good. Um, so anyway, I went and did that, and then I did meal prep. I got the potatoes ready, I made homemade tatsiki.

Amanda 23:07

Yay.

Josh 23:07

Um, so and then I put the chicken in the marinade. I've been working hard for you, baby.

Amanda 23:12

I've been working hard. I appreciate that. And you let me sleep until almost 10 o'clock.

Josh 23:15

You let you sleep. Like I could wake you up.

Amanda 23:17

You wake me up on Saturdays.

Josh 23:18

Sometimes. Not all the time. So anyway, I'm looking forward to that um that Mother's Day lunch that we will have. And yes, I did get you bird seed. And you can tell the folks now this is the the bird section, because you this is your sign of aging. Yes, you do nothing but talk about fucking birds. If you start purchasing wardrobe now that has birds embroidered on it, then I know that that that line has been very. It's weird to you now, but you just wait. It's gonna happen. All right. One of these days, oh, look at the look at this underwear, it's got birds on it.

Bird Feeder Breakthrough And Tiny Pub Dreams

Amanda 23:55

No, birds have always scared me. I've always been weirded out by birds, they frighten me. But all of a sudden now I like birds. And so we on Friday night after my colonoscopy experience, we were sitting out here and eating dinner, and neighbor Kate and Tony and Princess Moonbeam came over and they were hanging out, and neighbor Kate was telling a pretty serious story, and in the middle of her story, I just started yelling, there's cardinals on the bird feeder, because the bird feeder's been up for a couple weeks, and birds have not been engaged in my bird feeder, and it was very sad. And so I went out, I took birdseed and started throwing it around the ground near the bird feeder that maybe like a like a trail that they could follow. So two cardinals came and were on the bird feeder, which I loved, and then a hummingbird, like 10 minutes later, a hummingbird found the hummingbird feeder.

Josh 24:45

That was cool.

Amanda 24:46

Josh was amazed because he did not know we had hummingbirds in our neighborhood, and I'm not sure how this is the thing he did not know. Why would I buy a hummingbird feeder if I didn't know we had hummingbirds?

Josh 24:54

Why do I buy gym clothes? There you go.

Amanda 24:57

Do you wear an undershirt to the gym? But there is a bird that is building a nest, and I've been watching it, and I was told I'm not allowed to talk about it while you're talking, but there we have a really lovely full star jasmine uh bush on a trellis, and there is a bird that's building a nest in there. I'm watching it, it keeps bringing sticks and moss over, and so I'm excited because we're gonna have little baby birds.

Josh 25:19

Well, I'm excited that we have birds now in your damn feeder because this was going to take over our lives with you. I thought that the reason why they were staying away is because you were too clearly desperate. And birds are notoriously tiny avoidance. Okay. So, you know, they can smell fear and desperation, and they weren't having it. Turns out they just didn't know where the thing was. I was gonna suggest fashioning it after we finished the pub in our house, fashioning this little bird site into a tiny pub. Maybe that would attract them.

Amanda 25:52

Oh, yes, we should make it a little pub. Call it Maybe I'll make my tiny houses into a pub for birds.

Josh 25:57

Call it like the um the wobbly finch. Yes. And have it like be a little pub, and all of a sudden we've got like regulars. Like if it's customers.

Amanda 26:06

No, just like regulars who are always at at the like people from Cheers and then the people they always know their name. Got it.

Josh 26:12

We're gonna have a a little cardinal that's gonna visit. I'm gonna name him Graham, and he's gonna be like all hours, you know, telling stories about the weather or whatever. It's just what we're doing. But luckily, we don't have to do any of that. I did buy you um bird seeds, so you can scatter that around. Put it in your hair for all characters. Um, so yeah, no, the the bird feeder's doing well all of a sudden.

Amanda 26:37

The news has gotten around the neighborhood.

Josh 26:54

I've invented two words, or at least I think I've invented two words.

Amanda 26:58

Okay.

Josh 26:59

First word I thought of at like four o'clock this morning as I'm laying there in bed. Thinking of how like wonderful of a mother you are. Thank you. And there are things that you do that are just inherently mothering.

Amanda 27:13

Okay, that's very kind of you. I keep waiting that you're gonna say bad things to me.

Josh 27:16

No, no, no. But like to me, the the verb for that is utering.

Amanda 27:20

Okay, I'm utering. I don't want my uterus to be out in the world.

Josh 27:23

No, no, no, I'm just saying though, is like you are exercising these wonderfully mothering traits. It's like you are utering.

Amanda 27:30

Thank you. Well, I will say that I had an incredible mother, and even if sometimes the religious trauma I have is from her deep Southern Baptist roots, um she was an incredible mom and made all of us feel very special, and that is my goal in my life. I bought a shirt for myself for Mother's Day from a small uh black woman-owned business called Mahogany Mommies. So if you're interested, go look that up.

Josh 27:55

Not a sponsor.

Amanda 27:56

And it's the shirt says my mom, what does it say? Like, my mom is not here, but her love never left.

Josh 28:02

Something like that.

Amanda 28:03

Something like that. And I walked out as because I wore it to soccer. I walked out yesterday. Winthrop looked at me, read my shirt, and went, Oh, I thought you were wearing Muffy shirt, and that was about you going to publics. I'm really confused about why my child thinks that my daughter has a very specific shirt to be worn when I am at the grocery store, but it really was in honor of my mother who is no longer here. This is my fifth mother's day without being well, sixth because we were during lockdown with the one bride before she passed away. So, anyway, this is an honor of my mother, and thank you for saying kind words to me because I love you all very much.

Josh 28:41

Yeah, no, you're you're very good, and you you'd are very well. Thank you. Second word is related to that religious trauma. We've always talked about starting in podcasts, about our past religious trauma and and where we are now. And I've never ever found a good name for it, but I came up with a good name for it, and no one better steal this.

Amanda 29:02

And you even looked it up and it wasn't it wasn't a word. It wasn't an existing word. You were so happy when you found out this is not an existing word.

Josh 29:08

What I may do is grab the URL of this before I publish the this episode. Heathangelical.

Amanda 29:15

Heathangelical.

Josh 29:16

We are heathens and we're evangelical about it.

Amanda 29:20

That's right.

Listener Mail Decluttering And Pub Names

Josh 29:20

We're heathangelicals. We're gonna give those evangelicals a run for their money. Do you have any words that you invented? Get in touch, familiarwilsons at gmail.com. We have two emails this week that I'd like to read. First is from neighbor Kate. She says, Dear Wilsons, I am very good at decluttering. We did talk about decluttering last week. I thought that that would get a just a shit ton of listens because everyone's all about decluttering these days. In fact, I think that we should grab onto these topics that are like the hip topics and talk about them and especially put them in our the titles of our podcast so that people will listen to us. So be thinking of like what the next hot thing is that we can talk about.

Amanda 30:22

Well, didn't we didn't what an episode recently do really, really well? Like an older episode and we couldn't figure out why.

Josh 30:28

Yeah, it was the episode called We All Lied to Our Children, and that's okay. And it got a crazy amount of listens last week from like different places. It was too random to feel like bots or to feel like you know, any of these other things. It was just it was just very random.

Amanda 30:44

And it's an older episode. Like, how did you guys find that? People are lying to their kids and they need to feel better about it.

Josh 30:49

They feel guilty about it. So anyway, she says, I'm very good at decluttering. Forget, does it spark joy? My question is, would I be sad or relieved if this burned up in a house fire? You would have other things to think about, friend. She says, I love canceling plans because we talked about that too. But I could hang out with you guys for several hours and it doesn't feel stressful. I bet it feels stressful for Tony and Josh. That's her husband and I, because Amanda and I never stop talking. True story. It is a true story. But I enjoy that. I'm I'm enough of an introvert to that's the other thing that I've noticed about whenever we hang out with people now, I want to have music on.

Amanda 31:27

Yes, and you sit there with your speaker and hold it in your lap and you're happy about it.

Josh 31:31

Isn't that that feels like maybe an old man, Gen X old man thing?

Amanda 31:35

It's like your boom box, it's like your Lloyd Dobbler, but like for the for the AARP set.

Josh 31:41

That's right. And then she opines about what we should call our pub. She says, just call the pub the bell end. I feel like you want to, and that's okay. I'm not calling it that. Call it the uterus and the testicle.

Amanda 31:55

No, thank you.

Josh 31:56

We also have a letter from Leo. Leo says, first and foremost, Amanda, so sorry to hear you have another stone.

Amanda 32:04

Me too, Leo.

Josh 32:05

From hearing horror stories about these things over the years, they have always been a big fear of mine.

Amanda 32:09

Yeah, they're awful.

Josh 32:11

As for a name, since you've decided it was a she, the first name that came to my mind is Karen.

Amanda 32:16

Okay, well, yeah.

Josh 32:18

Poor Karen's.

Amanda 32:19

I know. But do they make Karen's anymore? Like, nobody's naming their kid Karen.

Josh 32:23

I don't know. Like, hasn't it moved on to Jessica now? Oh, yeah.

Amanda 32:30

Like, there's all those uh memes of like the chickens yelling Jessica and stuff. It's very sad.

Josh 32:35

I just if it's ever Amanda, then I guess we'll just have to rename me.

Amanda 32:41

Yes. Call me the uterus in the testicle.

Josh 32:45

What?

Amanda 32:45

I don't know. I'm just thinking I didn't want to be the Belland, so you're okay being the testicle. No, I dude, I don't know.

Josh 32:52

When it comes to decluttering, I can admit I tend to hold on to things such as tech gadgets longer than I probably should.

Amanda 32:58

Well, you're a tech guy, Leo.

Josh 33:00

It is, in fact, that but you never know mindset. We made a conscious decision years ago not to have a junk drawer, although we do have a drawer for spare keys, ink pens, and gift cards, but there isn't much in it.

Amanda 33:12

That that's that's a junk drawer, Leo. You've described a junk drawer.

Josh 33:15

Another drawer we stopped keeping years ago was a condiment drawer. In our previous home, for some odd reason we kept a drawer full of miscellaneous extra restaurant condiments that almost never got used.

Amanda 33:26

Like just old bags of ketchup?

Josh 33:28

Well, I should hope that it's not like bottles.

Amanda 33:30

No one's ever called it a bag of ketchup ever, a packet of ketchup.

Josh 33:34

After all, things like Taco Bell sauce only taste good on Taco Bell food. And it's not like we we would eat, we would eat Taco Bell every night.

Amanda 33:41

Okay, I'm gonna disagree with you there because I love a Taco Bell original taco sauce. Like I went through a Taco Bell phase in my senior in high school. We went every day after school. I still buy Taco Bell sauce from the grocery store to put on tacos. So, I mean, like when I cook here. So I'm gonna disagree with you on that one. But you can just buy the bottle at the grocery store.

Josh 34:00

Well, then there's that. Now they sell all of the sauces, but they didn't used to do that. Um, he says inevitably things in this drawer would sit for ages until they would end up mysteriously stuck together. Yucks. We have a friend who still does this and she does it with an odd pride.

Amanda 34:16

I don't, yeah, no. We do have some. Uh I I did notice that we've got some like uh mayonnaise packets and mustard packets in the door of the refrigerator. I'm not sure from whence they came.

Josh 34:27

What's when we were doing uh food kits, wasn't it?

Amanda 34:30

Yeah, probably when they send the little like the little packets.

Josh 34:33

He closes by saying Oh, he doesn't close by saying No, he's just kidding.

Amanda 34:37

He's not done. Go ahead.

Josh 34:39

He says, I love the home pub idea as for a name. How about Wilson on the round? If I ever make it down your way, the first round is on me.

Amanda 34:47

Oh, I like the story.

Josh 34:48

If I ever make it down our our way, we will have had several rounds in the pub. And now he closes by saying, As for the recorder, are there any professional recorder players? No. Do you guys remember the famous pan flute musician Zamphere? Of course I do. Are there any recorder players with his level of success?

Amanda 35:06

I don't think so.

Josh 35:07

He says, Josh, I think we found your new musical niche. There you go.

Amanda 35:12

Listen, I got a recorder in the music book upstairs. Can you read music?

Josh 35:16

Absolutely. Yeah. Okay, then you can practice this thing. I shan't be doing that. No. So if you out there want to email us about any old thing, familiarwilsons at gmail.com. Include in there, if you would, suggestions for a pub name because we're putting a pub in our house.

Amanda 35:34

So uh Refine Gay Jeff has has suggested the brush and the quill, which I love because you're a painter and I'm a writer.

SPEAKER_02 35:42

Yes.

Amanda 35:43

Um, but uh or it would be the brush and quill, right? Not the brush and the quill, the brush and quill, like the crown and the rose. Or I don't know, who knows? Whatever. I like it. You're you're not sure.

Josh 35:52

I'm not sure. We're still taking suggestions. All right, Amanda, that's all there is. There is no more. What'd you think of that?

Amanda 36:12

No, it wasn't done. Let's name it after birds. Like the finch and the wren.

Josh 36:19

So we would have to personify you as a bird and me as a bird. I don't know enough about birds.

Amanda 36:24

I'd be a magpie.

Josh 36:26

What's a vulture? I'd be a the magpie and the vulture.

Amanda 36:29

No, I don't like this story.

Josh 36:30

Yeah, magpies talk a lot, right? And you're wearing a red dress now. And vultures are bald, right?

Amanda 36:35

What? I'm wearing a red dress or a black dress.

Josh 36:38

Um how about the bald eagle?

Amanda 36:40

The bald eagle and the crow and the eagle. Because I look like a crow right now. Yeah. Or the raven. I'd be a raven.

Josh 36:47

No, ravens kill people evermore.

Amanda 36:49

Well, so do crows. Crows are the whole freaking so it's a murder of crows, and what is it of a raven?

Josh 36:56

Uh a collab. I don't know. It doesn't matter.

Amanda 37:00

It does matter, and you know who knows? Jeff knows. Jeff will tell us.

Josh 37:03

Okay. Okay, we would like to.

Amanda 37:05

It's an unkindness of ravens.

Josh 37:07

Yeah, well, you interrupted me just then.

Amanda 37:10

Or alternative term, conspiracy of ravens.

Josh 37:14

Why do they get two?

Amanda 37:15

Oh no, but I'll like it.

Josh 37:16

Okay, well, we as I was saying before as a bigger one.

Amanda 37:19

We want to thank the ravens and the cardinals and the blue jays and the hummingbirds. Go ahead. I don't know what kind of bird is building a nest, though. It's like gray and black, and it's bigger. I don't know.

Josh 37:30

Alright, let me thank these people, and then and then you can just talk and I'll just fade.

Thank Yous And Bird List Outro

Amanda 37:36

This will just be listing birds. Go ahead.

Josh 37:38

We would like to thank Antonio, Josh Scar, Daniel J. Buckets, Chicken Tom, R. I P, Matt, Monique from Germany, Joey.

SPEAKER_02 37:48

Joey.

Josh 37:49

Leo, thank you for your letter. Refine gay Jeff, Ryan Baker, Mark and Rachel, Tony and Kate, thank you for your letter. And Dan and Gavin. Also like to thank Ricky Kendall for our theme song. Chris Barron of the Spin Doctors for that little super familiar with Wilsons that he does. And then, of course, AJCW, our son, for the music you're listening to right now. Alright, folks, until next week, you all have a wonderful, wonderful week. And go like be kind to birds.

Amanda 38:26

Don't be an unkindness of ravens. Yeah, be kind to crows. Unkindness to crows, yes. Go be kind. Bye. Bye. Okay, so I like crows because they are really intelligent, and I like magpies because they like shiny things. I think they're the ADHD birds of the animal kingdom. I love the hummingbird because as you described it the other day, it was a dragonfly bird. I like blue jays because they're pretty. Um, what else are there? There's there's wrens, they're really tiny and they have a really cool kind of sound. I don't know what this one is that's making um a home in the jasmine though, because it's real kind of cranky sounding. It's gotta be a mom who's in labor. I don't know. Um, what other birds? I don't like seagulls. Seagulls, they're they're aggressive and they can stay at the ocean. We don't have those here. We have kites here. They're really pretty. Their tails are kind of cool. We don't have eagles. The bald eagle is the uh Florida State bird, though. No, that's not true. The mocking jay is the Florida State bird. But we do have eagles here.

Josh 39:30

Mocking bird. Mocking Jay is from Hunger Games.

Amanda 39:32

Okay, but we have a mocking bird as the state bird, um, and the sable palm is the state tree. That's the other thing that I know about us. Um our state song is way down upon the Swannee River. I know that too. Um, those are all the things that I know.