Please Do Not Introduce a New Variable

What happens when work stress follows you home and everyone in the family is running on low emotional capacity? Josh and Amanda talk marriage, parenting, mental overload, stress eating, checking out, overstimulation, and the strange little things that help when your brain has simply had enough.

Along the way, they ask about food temperature, the therapeutic possibilities of going to bed absurdly early, and whether a household can legally declare that it is no longer accepting new information.

It’s an episode about stress, coping, marriage, and finding a little hope when everybody’s internal “please do not introduce a new variable” light is blinking.

Super Familiar with The Wilsons 
Find us on instagram at instagram.com/superfamiliarwiththewilsons
and on Youtube
Contact us! familiarwilsons@gmail.com

A Familiar Wilsons Production

Transcript

Copy Transcript Copied

Cold Open And Welcome

Josh 0:00

John Jacob Jingelheimerschmidt.

SPEAKER_04 0:03

You are made of meat, my friend, all the way down.

Josh 0:06

The following podcast uses words like and and also. If you're not into any of that shit, then now's your chance.

SPEAKER_00 0:14

Three, two, one.

Josh 0:16

Run.

SPEAKER_00 0:18

Welcome back to the conversation. Tell me who I'm talking to. Get on down to my nature. You want me and I am you.

Amanda 0:55

Welcome to Super Familiar with the Wilsons. I'm Amanda.

Josh 0:58

And I'm Josh, and we're the podcast about

Protein Before Coffee Debate

Josh 1:00

marriage 2.0 with kids.

Amanda 1:02

And side quests.

Josh 1:03

I went on a little bit of a side quest this morning because I had written out all that we were going to talk about. And I wandered into the kitchen because you had just said that you heard that it was important to have protein before your coffee.

Amanda 1:21

That's I that it it messes with your or it doesn't mess with your cortisol. Like if you have the caffeine before you have the protein, it causes spikes in your cortisol level. And Lord knows I'm stressed enough. So I was I was trying.

Josh 1:33

Okay, so I took that to heart because I had kind of heard that before, and that's what I've been doing for the last five weeks or so as I'm on this new regime. Is I've made sure to have my eggs before I had my matcha or anything else because I read something about that. So I wandered into the kitchen because I did want to get some coffee, but I needed some protein. Needed some protein. I didn't want to make eggs, and I saw that there was a veggie burger patty from the other day. Oh, did you eat that? That we had cooked, yes.

Amanda 2:01

Good thing I was planning on giving that to the child for lunch, but okay.

Josh 2:04

Apparently, a very important ingredient for veggie burgers is temperature.

Amanda 2:12

Oh, you ate it cold?

Josh 2:14

Well, I ate like two bites cold, and I'm like, uh absolutely not. And then I popped it in the microwave, and then it was fine. But uh, it surprised me how bad it tastes cold.

SPEAKER_04 2:22

I know.

Josh 2:24

Okay, but then

Foods Where Temperature Matters

Josh 2:25

it I went on a little bit of a thing in my mind. Other foods that are really dependent on temperature as an ingredient, right? And I was thinking about, well, we could talk about that. I think the more interesting conversation is foods that don't depend on temperature as an important ingredient. Now we know veggie burgers, french fries, they have to be hot, scrambled eggs have to be hot. There's certain things, ice cream. I mean, clearly that has to be cold, although some people enjoy drinking the less cold ice cream that's in liquid form, but no one wants hot ice cream, right? Um, anything that depends on crispiness, anything that depends on melted fat, like soup that has fat in it when it's melted, it's like gravy. You don't want gravy cold, or anything that requires cheese to cooperate. Yeah.

Amanda 3:11

All of that is dependent on well, but not necessarily because cold pizza is fine.

Josh 3:16

But here we are, though. This is the topic conversation. Foods that you don't think temperature in either direction are an important ingredient. And so pizza, I think, would be on the top of most people's lists.

Amanda 3:26

Well, but you were saying it requires cheese to cooperate. And pizza does require cheese to cooperate.

Josh 3:30

But usually, I mean, I don't I don't I don't usually love cold cheese for any particular reason at all. I just don't. Cold pizza is that one exception, and I'm not sure why it is, because it is basically just pizza. But especially if it's well-made cold pizza, yeah, it's fine.

Amanda 3:47

It's fine. Leftover Chinese food.

Josh 3:49

Ah, very good. That's very good.

Amanda 3:51

I actually sometimes prefer it cold, especially like honey chicken.

Josh 3:54

I love that stuff. A lot of these foods, though, are foods that you would wake up with a hangover in. Right. Right.

Amanda 4:01

I have named the things that people that you are likely to find after a night of drinking.

Josh 4:06

Like, what else though?

Amanda 4:07

Well, I mean, like, yogurt definitely has to be cold because I have left, I take uh plain Greek yogurt, frozen strawberries, and flaxseed for breakfast every morning to work. And it's nice because the frozen strawberries keep it cold, and I'll leave it by the time I get to work, they're defrosted enough that I can eat them. That was the problem I was having this morning is I was trying to have my yogurt before my coffee, but the frozen strawberries were still so frozen it was really difficult. Anyway, I did it though. We'll see about my stress levels today. And um, but I left my yogurt out on my desk one day, forgot about it, and then went to eat it around lunchtime, and it's not good. Well, is it it's not good?

Josh 4:48

Yogurt like a live culture, it is. I mean, I don't think it was gonna hurt me. Well, but I think that if it warms up and those little cultures start to like wake up and like, oh, we need to now instantly make mold or penicillin or do our good deed for the day or whatever.

Amanda 5:02

I'm just saying it was dependent on it at least being like chilled because it was it room temperature was not good for yogurt.

Josh 5:09

Okay, so here are a couple of things that can be either cookies.

Amanda 5:13

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Josh 5:14

Like I'll eat them as is, but I love putting them in the microwave for 15 seconds.

Amanda 5:18

Are you what you're leaving out is that you put a pad of butter between them?

Josh 5:21

I I was getting there.

unknown 5:22

Okay.

Amanda 5:27

I was pulling the listener in, and then for the thought you were hiding the fact that you make an Oreo out of butter.

Josh 5:33

Pulling the listener in for them to be like, oh, this is awesome. And then just giving them that extra dopamine hit of then imagining what if there's a some butter on it. Oh yeah.

Amanda 5:47

Melted butter.

Josh 5:48

Oh, but half melted butter. That's that's the thing. It can't be all the way melted.

Amanda 5:52

Yeah.

Josh 5:52

Because you want evidence.

Amanda 5:54

Oh, but butter's a thing, though, because butter cold, butter room temperature, butter hot, like like liquid butter, all of it's gone.

Josh 6:00

Oh, sure. Absolutely. How about scrambled eggs?

Amanda 6:03

No, gross cold scrambled eggs, so nasty.

Josh 6:05

Yeah, yeah. But quiche. Quiche can be hot or cold.

Amanda 6:09

And that's yeah, that's interesting.

Josh 6:11

Yeah.

Amanda 6:12

So uh when we were when I was little, like 11, we had a dog, and my um Which was the dog better hot or cold? Um, my brother would make the dog a scrambled egg every morning. And the dog got to where he would walk from the refrigerator to his food bowl every morning because he knew that this egg was coming. And I was after he ate, I was lying on the ground and I was playing with him and I was holding him up and shaking him, and my brother said, You need to be careful. He just ate. You need to put him down. And I'm like an 11-year-old, right? So I'm like, F you, I don't, I don't need you to tell me what to do. Sure enough, if that dog did not throw up the scrambled eggs all over my face. Like I was holding the dog right above my face, and just we've seen this dog that we own or that we care for, uh, throwing up places, right? So it was cold egg and then it became hot egg. I just put the dog down and ran immediately to the shower and clothes and everything.

Josh 7:06

All right. So you're saying that that's one case where the hot scrambled eggs were not preferred. Very well, it depends on what you're warming it up in, really.

Amanda 7:13

Oh god, not a dog's stomach. It was so bad, y'all. That was 40 years ago, and I still can like relive that experience.

Josh 7:23

Oh, absolutely, because then that's that's where you start to not trust the world. No, it's where anything can betray me now. That's where that's that seed of that that's a raging thought in you now started just then.

Amanda 7:34

Yeah. Well, that's also the same year my brother died of cancer, so like let's just go ahead and say that the world betrayed me really poorly. Yeah, no, I just took it real dark. Brownies, brownies, yes. But see, I like brownies just not even like in college, yeah, and this is not even a hangover thing because I didn't drink in college, brownie mix. Like, I broke my nose when I was in college, and to make me feel better, my roommate just made me brownie mix and I ate it out of a bowl, raw eggs and everything.

Josh 8:04

Oh, that's not good for you.

Amanda 8:05

I know I'm still here.

Josh 8:07

How did you go from the dog throwing up scrambled eggs to eating raw eggs?

Amanda 8:10

Because it was it's mixed in chocolate. Muffy eats raw dough a lot too, with eggs in it. She didn't care.

Josh 8:18

I don't think that that's a thing. Any other foods that are not temperature dependent that you can think of?

Amanda 8:23

No, because I'm thinking like burgers, cold burgers are not good. Steak. Because you can have like cold steak on a salad or cold chicken on a salad.

Josh 8:32

Yeah, but that does depend on the cut of steak because then you want it to be really lean because there's nothing worse than like solidified cold fat. Yeah, no, not good. Not good. So that is dependent on the cut. Some bits of steak, yes. All right, well, listeners, do you have any foods that you can think of where temperature is not an important ingredient? Let us know at familiarwilsons at gmail.com.

Amanda 8:57

Bread?

Josh 8:58

Huh?

Amanda 8:59

Bread?

Josh 9:00

Yeah, I guess.

Amanda 9:01

Because I mean it it can go, it can go either way, right? Yeah, yeah. All right, let us know.

Josh 9:06

Bread is also not a terribly exciting ingredient anyway.

Amanda 9:08

It's more like a it needs butter.

Josh 9:10

It's a vehicle, yes.

Stress Questions And Coping Defaults

Josh 9:13

So, anyway, our week. We we sat down and we were brainstorming on what we could talk about this week. And usually we have one or two really interesting things that happen during the week, and away we go. But this week, stress came a colon, and work stress came a collin, and we don't really talk about work um on the podcast for all of the appropriate reasons that one shouldn't talk about their work on a podcast that's basically just us bullshitting. But needless to say, that we had a lot of stress this week. But I want to talk about stress and maybe what we can do uh to mitigate our stress, what are the the things that are um signposts of our stress? So I have a series of questions that we can each answer. Okay. So when you are stressed, what do you want?

Amanda 10:05

Well, it used to be when I was stressed, I would I would stress eat. Um that is uh that's not a thing that I do anymore. And so when I'm stressed, what do I want? Um like I just want to check out. Like I just want to sit down and play a game on my phone or sit and just stare at something on the television. I think I just need the like like time to disassociate.

Josh 10:29

Yeah, for me, it's it's funny. Mine is basically the same, and that is the thing I want or the thing I go for is food. Yeah. I don't really drink much anymore. That's really not much, which is you know, we have this wonderful pub in our house.

Amanda 10:43

I know, and I'm not drinking it.

Josh 10:45

Which thanks thankfully serves as a perfectly wonderful place to be when you're not drinking, by the way.

SPEAKER_04 10:50

Yeah.

Josh 10:51

So food, if we have it in the house. Um if I'm feeling particularly disciplined, then scrolling to check out. I'm not saying that's the most healthy thing to do, though. It's interesting because Winthrop had a revelation yesterday.

Amanda 11:04

Oh, really? He has this some from time to time.

Josh 11:06

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, hopefully, hopefully he's he's growing his discernment cells in his brain. I was talking to him about we're gonna go do um this or that in about half an hour. He said, Okay, and then I came back in a half an hour, and he said, What? It's not been half an hour. I said, Winthrop, it absolutely has been half an hour. And he just he all of a sudden realized, wow, when I'm on this screen, time goes fast.

SPEAKER_04 11:32

Yeah.

Josh 11:33

I'm like, that's an important thing for you to realize. It's an important thing for you to recognize because we don't want to just piss all of our time away on a screen. Yeah, so I definitely have to find like a more healthy. I think for for me, the thing is gonna be, and I invite you to join me, the thing is gonna be walking.

Amanda 11:52

It's just I a hundred percent agree with that. It is just we are still in like the temperature of the depths of hell here in Florida, and so it's really you get up early to go do it. If I could get up early and go do it, that would be fine. Um, but even when I walk the dog at like eight o'clock at night, it's prohibitively just awful.

Josh 12:15

Yeah, and there are a lot of times where I go with you, and the reason why I go with you, not only just because I love you with all of my heart, but it's I recognize I need to release some of this energy that I'm feeling, whether it's nervous energy or anxious energy, or or just energy from the fact that I just ate and the food probably, you know, yeah, whatever. Um, so so walking couldn't be a thing for us.

Amanda 12:40

And I try that at work. I have a a good friend at work that she and I are um have this have similar health goals, and so we try to take a walk two in the morning, two in the afternoon. And it's been it's not been great lately because our meetings haven't been lining up, like whenever my free time, it's not hers, but also um it's just so hot. So we'll do the one in the morning, and by the afternoon, like I just I can't I can't bear it. Yeah, like I'm already I already have an internal furnace with perimenopause, like I don't need to add the external with it. I was out yesterday with Winthrop last night, I don't know, before bed, like around eight o'clock. And we were I was walking the dog, he came out with me, and he decided that he was going to practice being, quote, the most dramatic football player in history.

Josh 13:28

So wait, wait, wait, that's gotta be pretty dramatic. Did he throw himself down on the ground?

Amanda 13:32

He was throwing himself down on the ground, grabbing his well, it started because he came out with me, but he only had socks on, so I told him he had to stay in the in the grass because I was walking the dog out on the road, and he was messing around and he fell. And I and I said, You okay? And he said, Yeah, and I said, Okay, now roll around like you got a penalty. And so then he started that, and then he was like, Wait, I'm gonna practice. And then he would he was practicing arguing with the ref who was the oak tree in our front, the front of our uh our house. So he was saying, you know, he was arguing, he was creating scenarios, and the the tree gave him uh two yellow cards, so then he got he got red carded, but then he came back and he threw his cleat at the tree. Like he had a whole narrative going on.

Josh 14:12

Uh what I need to know is is where was the tree keeping these yellow cards?

Amanda 14:17

Sleeves. Um, not that they're changing colors here in Florida. But anyway, my point about that is one, it was funny and I really wanted video of it, but I didn't have my phone with me. And two, just standing outside, I was so clammy and uncomfortable.

Josh 14:29

Okay. I'm gonna put something to you here to change your perspective. Okay. Right. What are some things that people do to feel better, to relax, to get toxins out? They go and in town here, they will spend up to $70 per hour, per no, not per hour, per session at the sauna.

Amanda 14:49

Okay.

Josh 14:50

$70.

Amanda 14:51

Yeah, here's here's the reason this is not gonna work on me. Marriage 1.0. Um, those in-laws live in northern Minnesota. They have an actual, and they call it sauna in Minnesota. It's called a sauna. They have an actual sauna building with the the lava rocks and the heat and everything, and these people loved their saunas, and I did it once and hated it with my whole heart.

Josh 15:13

That's only because they charged you $70.

Amanda 15:15

They charged me $70. But I just don't like being hot. I don't like it.

Josh 15:21

Okay. Well, we'll figure it out. It's gonna cool down to probably acceptable earth-like temperatures here in about a month, and then we can go do it together. So we can, in a healthy way, try to alleviate our stress. Okay,

Stress Signals And Breaking Points

Josh 15:35

next question. Yes. What disappears first when you are stressed? So for me, uh I it's the inability to put the stress aside. Like it's all consuming. The other night I was stressed about uh a work something, and I woke up at three and I basically stayed up till 4 30, was able to fade back to sleep, woke up at 4 45, and it's just yeah, I cannot put it aside. Yeah, I'll agree with that. So is that your thing as well then?

Amanda 16:01

Yeah, just my I can't like I ruminate on it. I can't not I'll put it on in my mind for a minute, but yeah, it just keeps coming back. Yeah, I would say, no, normally I would say what disappears first is my willpower because I would go to, oh, you know, just if I got stressed at work, I would get up and my my work is very kind in that they provide lots of snacks and things for us, but they are not always healthy. So they do have healthy snacks, but instead of grabbing the orange or the apple or the banana or the you know mixed nuts, I would grab the Doritos or the whatever. Now, um, you know, that has shifted for me because just full transparency, I have started going to the weight management clinic at UF because I have um, you know, now being in my 50s and having a baby in my 40s and breaking my foot and going through COVID and all these things, I have weight that I need to manage. And it's much harder when you're a woman in your 50s trying to deal with your weight. My doctor put me temporarily on basically an appetite suppressant that I take once a day, and that has most definitely cut that craving down. So I find if I grab something at work, it is always the mixed nuts, like the the heart healthy little packets, and so the need to stress eat has been eliminated for me. It would have been my willpower was the first thing to go. That's no longer the thing because that um the craving is gone. I guess it would be yeah, just being able to put it out of my mind.

Josh 17:28

Okay, so what is the thing for you when your stress is like that final little last straw?

Amanda 17:36

I don't understand.

Josh 17:38

Well, I'm gonna tell you what mine is and you'll understand because you experience mine. When I'm really stressed, particularly, I can't handle noises.

SPEAKER_02 17:47

Oh, right, okay.

Josh 17:48

So, like I have zero capacity to handle any other stressful stimuli. And for me, that's either really loud noises or repetitive noises. It's just not a thing that I can. I mean, I already have difficulty filtering out other noises anyway, because of my ADHD. But when I'm stressed, boy, it's just like they need to put me in that room that is like the most quiet room on earth. You've heard of this room. The sensory deprivation room. Well, it's the room that that there's a challenge for people to spend an hour in it, and no one can take the challenge because the room is so quiet that you start to hear your heart beat, you start to hear your breathing loud in your ears, you start to to hear like organs shifting in your brain.

Amanda 18:31

Do you think that you could do this for an hour? Huh? You think if you were over stimulated, you could be in there for an hour?

Josh 18:36

It would be heaven. Okay. Well, no, actually, it wouldn't be heaven now that I think about it. If if you'd think that it would be.

Amanda 18:42

But then you'd start hearing.

Josh 18:43

But then I'd start to hear like my stomach moving a millimeter that way and my kidney being, hey, what's up? And and whatever. No, actually, now that I think about it, it that would probably be the worst. Because it would reveal to me that there's no such thing as true silence. And then what would be the point of anything?

Amanda 18:59

I I mean, well, well, there's probably still points of things like you know, family and love and connection, but okay. Um, I hold on, my my final straw thing, that's what you asked me. Yeah, I think mine is just um, I love my children with my whole heart, but it's mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom. Like when I'm trying to process something or I am stressed about something, it is the like just the little like it's like I when I taught preschool, we had a sign in the teacher's bathroom that said being around small children is like being nibbled to death by ducks or something. It's just like constant, like, you know, and they're not like one little d is not a big deal, but when it's like a hundred of them, it starts to really like you can't. You just that's that's my like snapping point.

Josh 19:48

Well, that does kind of drive me absolutely up the wall when you can't handle it when it's my name, when I'm being called. I know, but then also like when we're like when we go on these trips and it's me and Winthrop together for the day because you're usually we go on these trips because you're on a in a conference or whatever, and then he starts in with the dad, dad, dad. And I I keep trying to tell him, Winthrop, I'm here.

SPEAKER_02 20:13

You can just talk.

Josh 20:14

I you can just I'm not like Siri or Alexa. Trust me, pal, I'm tuned in. You just start talking to me. Or when he'll say, Dad, can I ask you a question? Well, you know you can because you just did.

Amanda 20:26

Right.

Josh 20:27

Okay, so so go ahead.

Amanda 20:30

It's funny because when we do go on those trips and then I'm back and you are doing whatever, he starts calling me dad because he's been with you all day long.

Josh 20:39

Yeah.

Amanda 20:39

So it's

Low-Capacity Evenings And Guilt

Amanda 20:40

funny, it's cute.

Josh 20:41

The last question is is do you feel that you have the permission to have a low capacity evening if you need it?

Amanda 20:49

I I feel like you give me the permission to do it. I do not give it to myself.

Josh 20:54

Yeah. Well, sometimes you do though, because our code for that is do you want to go to bed early? Yeah. Which doesn't mean do you want to go to sleep early? It means do you want to go lay up?

SPEAKER_04 21:03

Should I go sit in my bed?

Josh 21:05

And so that is our signal for we need to have a low capacity evening. And you do allow yourself to do that.

Amanda 21:11

Yeah. Uh yeah, I do, but then I feel guilty about it though. Like I feel like I should be up doing whatever or spending time with the children.

Josh 21:18

They say that that with your children the little things are the important things. That's not fair. That's not fair to the parents because then you feel like you have to chase all the little things. No, the overall impression is the important thing that you generally leave your children with the idea that we love them and we will take care of them and keep them safe. But it's okay if mom and dad lay in the bed starting at 6 30 in the evening.

Amanda 21:44

Right.

Josh 21:45

Like that's not a problem.

Amanda 21:46

I think I was in my pajamas by like six fifteen on Friday night, and I texted my my Gen X group chat. I was like, Is is it too early for bed? And they were all unanimously, nope. Like, go do it 'cause it just got This week just took it out. And you were sick. Muffy's been sick. Um,

Volleyball Night As A Reset

Amanda 22:05

work's been stressful, and I'm not feeling super great. So just this week took it out. And we did have a good night. We went to UF volleyball on Wednesday because we have um a friend who has season tickets and they're floor seat. So they're right there um, you know, by the net. And um, but the game started at eight, so we j we didn't take Winthrop. We just went and we didn't get on. We couldn't even leave the parking lot until 10:30 at night. And that is like such an old person thing to say, but that's like being up until midnight for me.

Josh 22:36

Well, I was with you that usually when we go to those matches, I don't want it to just go three sets, I want it to go five because it extends the experience, there's more, there's more play, and of course I want our team to win. I was like, okay, let's let's roll this up, girls.

Amanda 22:52

Let's let's they had not been behind the entire time until like halfway through the third set, and then they were down by 10. I was like, no, no, I don't want to go to set four. Like, we just need to be done, please. And they pulled it out.

Josh 23:07

Yeah, no, it was good. It was good. So that actually was the thing that I was gonna end the segment with. This question was one thing that helped this last week. And the answer was the volleyball game. I just so delightful for me to be able to go do that with you and have it be floor side, you know, courtside. Um, although we did not have any balls in our face.

Amanda 23:30

That's true. No balls in the face.

Josh 23:32

Usually we have balls in our face when when we go there, which you always have to be paying attention, or else you're gonna get hit. And they hit hard too. Yeah, they do, they hit really hard. And I thought Miami was gonna take that last set because they had this one player that was just I don't know where she was the first two sets, but that last set, she was just like it's like Godzilla coming through there. It's like we're not gonna win another point, like and we're gonna end up losing in five. But she uh lost her her wind, which is good because we were starting to as well. Yeah, and then getting out of that parking lot.

Amanda 24:03

That was the worst part.

Josh 24:05

Well, it was until someone let us out.

Amanda 24:07

So somebody very kindly let us out. But I was thinking about it, and it's like, you know, everything's relative. So yeah, it took maybe what 20 something minutes to get out of the parking lot. But this is a parking lot that you know, usually you should just be able to pull right out of. So it's all relative because when Muffy flew home from Turkey and we were in Miami to pick her up, the Miami International Airport's right next to is it New Stadium? Is that what it's called? Where Inner Miami plays?

SPEAKER_04 24:33

Yeah.

Amanda 24:34

And the the match, the inner Miami match had ended like an hour before, and we drove past it and it was just gridlock in the parking lot. Because I mean, you're talking much more capacity, much larger, you know, um, attendance. And I just thought these people are gonna be there for hours and hours. So my 20 minutes in the parking lot, but it was enough to annoy me.

Josh 24:56

Yeah, we can't measure time against what shit happens in Miami. I grew up in Miami and everything is an hour longer than you think it should be. So, Amanda, Wilson Technologies has sent down to us this live

Low Capacity Household Kit Skit

Josh 25:31

ad read. Okay. Now, usually what I'll do is I'll do pre-recorded ads, but they they have been looking at the research that says that live reads apparently are better. Okay. Because people like trust us or some shit like that. So let's run our ad music, bumper music, and I'll read this copy. Is your household currently operating at a reduced emotional capacity?

SPEAKER_02 25:58

Yeah.

Josh 25:59

Are ordinary questions such as what do you want for dinner beginning to feel like formal government inquiries?

Amanda 26:05

No, I hate it. Don't ask me about food, don't ask me to make food, just figure it out yourself.

Josh 26:10

Have you recently opened the refrigerator, stared into it for 30 seconds, then closed it because there's too much food to understand?

Amanda 26:17

No, I do that because there's too much food that requires prepping. I don't want to cook the things.

Josh 26:23

Then you need the Wilson Low Capacity Household Kit.

Amanda 26:27

Okay, good.

Josh 26:28

First, you'll receive six pre-printed cards that say, I love you. I heard you. I cannot process this right now. This is not your fault. This may be your fault, but we're discussing it on Thursday. And also the special card, please do not introduce a new variable.

SPEAKER_02 26:45

Yes.

Josh 26:45

That would be your favorite card, I would assume. You'll also receive our patented dinner decision wheel featuring all three meals available to overwhelmed adults: cereal, something on toast, and then everyone quietly finds their own thing.

Amanda 26:59

I'm telling you, my mom had cereal on lockdown. Like she on Sunday nights, I'm not cooking, eatable of cereal. That's what we had to do.

Josh 27:06

Also included one emergency cancellation certificate. Simply present it at any social obligation and say, unfortunately, our our household has reached capacity.

Amanda 27:16

Does that mean you're not allowed into my household, or that means I cannot come out to whatever your event is?

Josh 27:20

It is however you decide to interpret it. The Wilson Low Capacity Household Kit also contains a decorative basket where you can place unopened mail, school forms, mysterious charging cables, and any problem that belongs to future you.

Amanda 27:35

Can you put your keys in your wallet there too?

Josh 27:37

Yes, I'll try to do that. Order in the next 10 minutes and we'll include the spousal support button. Oh God. Press once for sympathy, twice for advice, and three times to hear that person sounds terrible, and you are completely right.

SPEAKER_02 27:51

I I enjoy that button. Can I just buy it separately?

Josh 27:55

And just have that. Just have that button? Alright, we'll see. The Wilson Low Capacity Household Kit. Because sometimes marriage isn't about thriving together. Sometimes it's about recognizing that neither of you can absorb one additional piece of information. The Wilson Low Capacity Household Kit. Batteries not included. Dinner not included. Nothing is included. Stop asking questions.

Amanda 28:18

I like it. I'll

Perimenopause Takes And Gratitude

Amanda 28:20

buy it.

Josh 28:20

Well, you're just gonna make one for us as the prototype and the channel. And then we'll be too fucking tired to do anything else with that.

Amanda 28:28

That made me think about this. Clearly, my algorithm has picked up on the perimenopause content that I consume. And I sent this to neighbor Kate earlier this morning, but it's my perimenopause hot takes. And this one is spouses should have perimenopause homework. Because if men started suddenly waking up drenched in sweat, forgetting nouns and crying because everyone is talking at one time, we would have already read 628 articles entitled How Can I Support Him?

Josh 28:53

All right. Forget the drenched in sweat one. What are the last two?

Amanda 28:58

Uh hold please. Uh forgetting nouns and crying because everyone is talking at one time.

Josh 29:04

Okay. So basically, without the sweat, it's ADHD, and I have those symptoms.

Amanda 29:08

Okay, but let's give you the sweat.

Josh 29:10

Okay, well, whatever. That's why I want to go outside for the sweat and get it for free. I'll do that. I'm happy to do that. They say that you sweat the toxins out, they say. It's time for a new segment here on Super Familiar with the Wilsons, and that is what are we grateful for this week? So we can bitch and moan all we want about being stressful. Um, but let's talk a little bit about the one thing that we are recently grateful for, Amanda?

Amanda 29:42

Well, I mean, I'm grateful for a lot of things. I'm grateful for my health and my family and my home and that I have a roof over my head and all of these things. I'm gainfully employed. So I'm not going to this is not going to assume that I'm not grateful for those things. But the thing that I am grateful for that I want to talk about is I am grateful for the fact that eventually it's going to be fall. So next week is actually the first day, like the first day of fall is like the 20th or the 21st.

Josh 30:10

21st, I think.

Amanda 30:11

And well, it goes back and forth, so that's what I'm saying. Um, but I cannot believe you just said I've never seen you do that to me. Josh has made a rude hand gesture at me, and it's not the one you're thinking of, and I've never seen him do that in the 12 years we've been married. There you go. Sorry.

Josh 30:27

New things, are you thankful for for novelty? Go ahead, keep going.

Amanda 30:30

Um, I but I'm thankful for the fact that eventually the weather's gonna get cooler. I'm thankful for the cinnamon stick broom that you've put in this pub. I am thankful for the fact that it is going to be some sort of a break. And also I love all of and I have my whole life. It's not just that, like, oh, everybody pumpkin spice. Like my whole life I've loved fall leaves. My aunt and uncle used to live in North Carolina, and we go up in October, and I just I'm looking forward to it. And I read a thing that talks about how nervous systems crave things to look forward to. Like that is a calming thing, right? And so it doesn't have to be the big trip, it can be the little thing that you're looking forward to.

Josh 31:12

And that is what I would call hope.

Amanda 31:14

Yeah. Oh, yeah. So it's like I am hopeful that it's going to get cooler. I um, you know, I've started to put out the fall decor, we've started burning the the scented candles. I'm working on my haunted Halloween dollhouse craft thing from you know that I got at Goodwill. And so it's those little things to look forward to, those little things to plan for, and so I am grateful for that.

Josh 31:36

I am grateful for a lady called Helen.

Amanda 31:40

Who's Helen?

Josh 31:41

Helen is an ADHD coach who I know not in that capacity, but I just know her. But she has been talking to me a lot through this ADHD journey, and really she's the reason why I first seriously considered researching into this, and she's given me materials, she's talked to me. She's really been like kind of that that person that you know who's in the profession who's put me on this this path, and she still comes and sees me regularly and gives me books and little she brought me a little timer the other day that that people in AD like a mechanical timer is not on your phone because your point is not to look at your phone. Yeah, so I just I'm very grateful for Helen because she's she's been really the human catalyst behind all this, even like with a checklist saying, okay, this, this, this, and that. Well, kid, that's called ADHD type of thing. So I'm grateful for Helen.

Amanda 32:35

I am grateful for Helen as well. Has Helen invoiced you yet?

Josh 32:38

No, she has not.

Amanda 32:39

Okay. Thank you, Helen.

Josh 32:41

What are you grateful for? Why don't you tell us that? Uh familiarwilsons at gmail.com. That thing that you are grateful for this week.

What To Do Next And Listener Prompts

Josh 32:50

No one likes to be told what to do.

Amanda 32:52

Now is the time in the program where we tell you what to do. Josh, what should we do?

Josh 32:57

I am gonna be a little self-serving right now. I want you to find a podcast called Notes for an Awesome Life with John Spence. John is a top global thinker in business. In fact, he was just recognized, and I should know what this award is called, but apparently I'm not a good friend or podcast mate, but he's a big deal.

SPEAKER_04 33:17

Yeah.

Josh 33:18

And he's gone through a lot in his life and he's extremely successful. And I'm very privileged to be able to do this podcast with him. He just recently went through a prostate cancer diagnosis and surgery. He's doing well now. Um, but we recorded his life reflections that were brought on by his cancer diagnosis and treatment, and he looks at it in a totally different way than I would. He's extremely positive. This guy, he was not bashful about talking about him how painful it was, how embarrassing it was at moments, but how he and his wife dealt with it, amazing. And so the podcast is called Notes for an Awesome Life with John Spence. It was this last week's episode. Now, next week's episode that we just recorded is about my ADHD channel.

Amanda 34:09

Oh, interesting.

Josh 34:10

And lessons that can be learned from that. I recommend this podcast in general, but these these two episodes I'm talking about are pretty special to us. So that is my recommendation. There is no more. What'd you think of that, Mess?

Amanda 34:43

I think that I'm stressed, but have hope.

Closing Thanks And A Calmer Mindset

Josh 34:46

I don't know.

Amanda 34:47

Because we talked about stress and hope. Why are you staring at me?

Josh 34:50

Take it easy. I wasn't staring at you.

Amanda 34:52

You were. You were you were staring at me.

Josh 34:54

You just annoyed at me because you want us to wrap this up really quickly.

Amanda 34:57

It's hot in here now.

unknown 34:59

Okay.

Josh 34:59

Well, we could have turned the fan on. We want to thank the following people on this list that keeps getting longer.

Amanda 35:05

Oh, yeah, there's some people.

Josh 35:07

Not a thing that Amanda wants to hear right now.

Amanda 35:09

Um Thank you all. Bye.

Josh 35:11

One of these days we're gonna take a show and just explain who all these people are, but we're not gonna do it right now. So I'd like to thank the following wonderful people Antonio, Matt Anderson, Josh Scarr, Daniel Joseph, Jacob.

Amanda 35:23

Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt. That's that's Buckets.

Josh 35:27

Buckets, Daniel Joseph, Jacob Jingelheimer, Smith, Buckets. Schmidt, Schmidt? Schmidt. Schmidt? I don't know. To Chicken Tom, R.I.P. and Terry, R.I.P. Leo, Ryan Baker, Monique in Germany, not from Germany, which is what I usually say, but she's not from Germany, she's from somewhere else. But she's in Germany. Karen and Ann, Big Al and Big Wayne, Jacob and Jackie Larson, Jingelheimer Schmidt, Jason Sanders, Joey, Joey, Tasha and Mike, Rafine, Gay Jeff, and Kate and Tony, Mark and Rachel and Dan and Gavin for our music. We'd like to thank Ricky Kendall, Chris Barron of the Spin Doctors, and AJCW, who's playing uh right under us right now. Actually, he's not live playing.

Amanda 36:12

No, but that would be fun if we made a just come stand in the pub.

Josh 36:16

It's so funny because he's an electronic artist, right? So he doesn't play his music live because he builds it in the computer. Right. But his when he was in high school, his uh his high school rock band class had a performance, and so the bands were up there playing and the singers singing, and they had a section where he was just up there with his computer playing his music, and he would look like he was hitting a button and but he wasn't. Well, no, I talked to him later. I was like, Andrew, what were you doing? He's like, Nothing. I just needed to do it. To look like I was make it look like I was doing he was just playing it all from his computer.

Amanda 36:50

But it was cute though because they turned the lights down, some of the students had glow sticks, they did a little bit of a rave while he was doing it, so they fully embraced it.

Josh 36:58

Oh, it was great, it was great. Um, yeah. Did I thank Daniel and Andrew Muffy and Winthrop?

Amanda 37:03

No, and you didn't thank the podcast dog because he's been such a good boy during this episode.

Josh 37:07

Very we appreciate that. Uh all right, folks. So until next week, listen, if you're stressed, remember not to take life so seriously. Now that's very easy for me to say, but I did read a story this week about the actor, um, that guy who played the Big Lebowski, Bridges, Jeff Bridges, where he was undergoing cancer treatment. Yeah, and then while he was undergoing that treatment, he got COVID, and he said COVID really kicked his ass.

SPEAKER_04 37:33

Yeah.

Josh 37:34

So he didn't think he was gonna make it, like he was he was dire straits. And someone, a relative or someone, said, Um, just remember, don't take life too seriously as he was going through that, and he credited that shift in mindset to the reason why he got better.

Amanda 37:49

Oh wow. See, I feel like that would have annoyed me. I would have been like, really? Because this is all happening to me right now.

Josh 37:54

Right, but he was unlike you, he was more more evolved and able to accept the reality.

Amanda 38:00

He's not driven by his anger, that's fine.

Josh 38:02

He's not filled with rage like you are.

Amanda 38:04

Well, and I will say what I I didn't I didn't mention this, but we did not get a refined gay thoughts from Jeff this week, but I did get a text yesterday where Jeff said, I must tell you, uh, I have had my first Aldi experience, and I really don't see the appeal, basically, is what he was saying. He was saying, well, maybe it's because mine was smaller, it was only five aisles. No, Jeff, you're you're missing the point. It's just one aisle in the middle that we care about with all of the random things. He said he went to that aisle and he looked for clothes and didn't see any. But it's not a good clothes week, Jeff. This is the thing that's the treasure about Aldi. You just have to go every Wednesday, because that's when they put the stock out and see what new and magical things are there. And sometimes there are none, and sometimes it's wonderful. So also, if you're stressed, go to Aldi.

Josh 38:46

That's wonderful consumerist advice. Love it. All right, until next week, y'all. Take it easy. Go be kind.

SPEAKER_04 38:52

Bye. Bye.