How to Tell the Kids About the Divorce (and How NOT to Tell the Kids!)

What should we tell the kids?  How much information should we share?  How do we have this conversation?  In this episode, Divorce experts Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA® Financial Divorce Consultant; Scott Weiner, Psychologist, Attorney and Mediator; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F* Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney, discuss what should and should not be shared with your children about the divorce.

The Three Wisemen of Divorce are divorce experts Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA®, Financial Divorce Consultant; Peter Roussos, MA, MFT, CST, psychotherapist; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F*, Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney. 

Transcript

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Shawn Weber: 0:00

Okay,

Scott Weiner: 0:01

the computer said it's recording.

Shawn Weber: 0:03

It's recording

Scott Weiner: 0:04

in progress.

Shawn Weber: 0:05

Can you hear both of us? Okay, because I had I changed the

Mark Hill: 0:07

Yes, I can hear you both fine.

Shawn Weber: 0:09

Like it's like both sides.

Scott Weiner: 0:11

Both sides now do some kind of

Mark Hill: 0:13

like a bit like a locker room but yeah, it's okay.

Shawn Weber: 0:17

Like a locker room. Yeah, echoing

Mark Hill: 0:19

smells, just the banter.

Shawn Weber: 0:27

Welcome to the three wise men of divorce, money, Psych, and law podcast. Sit down with the California divorce experts, financial divorce consultant, Mark Hill, psychologist Scott Weiner, and attorney Shawn Weber for a frank and casual conversation about divorce, separation, co parenting, and the difficult decisions, real people like you face during these tough times. We know that if you're looking at divorce or separation, it can be scary and overwhelming. With combined experience of over 70 years of divorce and conflict management. We are here for you and look forward to helping by sharing our unique ideas, thoughts and perspectives on divorce. Separation and co parenting., sorry,

Mark Hill: 1:23

my wife, please is really. Okay. What are we talking about? We're talking,

Scott Weiner: 1:32

should we just hang out?

Shawn Weber: 1:35

How to tell the kids?

Scott Weiner: 1:40

Yeah. I mean, you're recording right now? I don't know. I can't divulge too much. Well, actually, she can start it whatever she wants. But it's like this is being caused by your mother.

Mark Hill: 1:51

That's a good one.

Shawn Weber: 1:57

You got to play my bass

Mark Hill: 1:58

a mistress. How about that one?

Scott Weiner: 2:00

That's great.

Shawn Weber: 2:01

I had that case. Your father? Well, she was very Christian. This particular case, she was very Christian. And he was having an affair. And he was apparently very Christian. as well. But you know,

Scott Weiner: 2:17

no but his tastes were Catholic.

Shawn Weber: 2:20

Yes. And she told the kids that the reason they're getting divorced is because Father has a mistress. Right? Those were her words. Father has a mistress.

Scott Weiner: 2:34

Oh, that's so touching. It just makes me want to sing to the hills, you know? Oh,

Mark Hill: 2:40

sounds Victorian, doesn't it? You know? Yes, it does. And it comes along with a lot of the sort of the ethos of that era.

Shawn Weber: 2:51

Allow me to introduce you to my concubine,

Mark Hill: 2:53

right? Yes.

Shawn Weber: 2:56

Yeah. All right. But, you know, so in all seriousness, you know, talking to the kids, we can just start talking right.

Scott Weiner: 3:05

So hey, you guys, what are we how are we going to tell the kids

Shawn Weber: 3:09

about what about the divorce? Yeah, I think we should come out and tell them

Mark Hill: 3:13

that it's not a big deal. We that we could have find out, you know, already

Shawn Weber: 3:18

that your mother is a horrible person. Well,

Mark Hill: 3:21

they know the mother had an affair. Yes. So there's no question about who the wronged party here

Scott Weiner: 3:32

had said, who's wrong? And you know, and will when you come and stay at my house, you know, you can you can do whatever you want. We will sit up all night and eat pizza. And, you know, Freddie, you know, you're only 14. But, you know, there are places where you can drink. So that'll be at our house,

Shawn Weber: 3:49

you know, I might suggest a different strategy. Oh, I think rather than telling the kids are really gonna stick. Okay. Yeah, that maybe we should, you know, talk to them about the parts that they need to hear. parts, the parts of the divorce, the fact that there's a divorce happening?

Unknown: 4:11

Oh, wait a minute, are you even going to tell them that there's a divorce?

Shawn Weber: 4:13

There's that too. You could just

Scott Weiner: 4:15

oh my god. I mean, that happens. It's

Shawn Weber: 4:18

one thing to talk about the fire. I have a friend and he talks about the day he found out that his parents were getting divorced because he was just loaded into a car. Yeah. And that's all he was. That's all the warning he was given. And all the explanation he was given is that mom and the kids are gonna live somewhere else now. I see. So maybe not that. And maybe not. Let's talk about how horrible the other parent is. That's probably not good.

Mark Hill: 4:46

And maybe not assume that the kids don't anticipate it to some degree.

Shawn Weber: 4:51

How they marry.

Mark Hill: 4:54

Well, we've heard that, haven't we?

Shawn Weber: 4:56

Yeah, we heard that. Yeah, but you guys agree Either there needs to be a conversation. If you've got children at some point, you got to have a conversation.

Mark Hill: 5:04

I think so. And I think that it's smart to do it together. And I think that it's smart to have your story ahead of time so that you don't get into a battle about who's causing this.

Scott Weiner: 5:19

At least not with the children,

Mark Hill: 5:22

not in front of the children. Exactly. You can

Scott Weiner: 5:24

have that battle in your mediation. Or you can tell you're in therapy. When you tell your lawyer in therapy. Yeah, yeah.

Shawn Weber: 5:32

It might be very helpful to have that conversation, I think. Yes. Yeah. But not with the children will. So why wouldn't you do with the children? Maybe this sounds obvious, but let's let's discuss it with our audience. Why? Why is it bad? discuss those kinds of details with the kids?

Mark Hill: 5:49

Well, the kids are 5050 Mom and Dad, I'm

Shawn Weber: 5:54

presuming, genetically.

Mark Hill: 5:57

And so they know that. If they're told one partner is a very bad person, that doesn't that mean, that half of me is a bad person, or I have the potential to be a bad person.

Scott Weiner: 6:11

It's among the things they could think,

Shawn Weber: 6:13

yeah. I've talked to a kid and his dad, or his dad was like, you know, I'm going to tell him everything. And the kid was very hurt by that, actually. Yeah. And then I talked to the father about and he said, Well, you know, he's a very mature kid, he understands things he deserves to know, I'm not going to lie to my son, about what went down.

Scott Weiner: 6:34

Instead, he's going to lie to himself about why he's doing that.

Mark Hill: 6:40

You know, if so,

Shawn Weber: 6:42

well, is that lying when you don't tell your kid everything?

Mark Hill: 6:46

Well, no, because you don't tell your child everything from the time they come home from the hospital. The things become age appropriate at certain points in life.

Scott Weiner: 7:00

There's that. But you did. I hate to be so you know, definition based, but if you if every time you don't tell everybody, everything about everything, you've lied, then we are in a constant state of deceit. You know, I mean, I mean, although as a therapist, I can see all everything that's true about Shawn. There's a lot that he doesn't know about me, and would benefit him to know. It might actually, it might

Shawn Weber: 7:36

might actually cause me harm. I knew what you were really,

Mark Hill: 7:40

really, yeah. We've shown we need to chat.

Scott Weiner: 7:46

If you guys don't already

Mark Hill: 7:52

have insights you guys.

Shawn Weber: 7:55

Likely like the children that we deal with, I have some inkling what kind of person we're dealing with here.

Scott Weiner: 8:06

All right, look, to be to be really fair, that, you know, are you lying to the children? When you don't tell them everything? My response would be? I don't think that's what lying really means. You know, I think lying when we talk about lying, we're usually what we really mean, is some kind of self serving, misrepresentation, of something that that that really doesn't benefit the hearer, it's, it's for my own selfish benefit. And if, if, if, if we talk about it, what really benefits the children it might benefit them greatly not to know that, I don't know. Mom had an affair, or dad had an affair, it might benefit them greatly not to know that. You know, it might just, frankly, I deal with this. I had I had a client tell me the other day that he got very, very drunk and had a fling a real flame and all the like the whole thing and nothing but the flame. so help us God with a best friend of his. And he's in the course now of getting ready to marry his fiancee. And he's, you know, you know, what do I do? Do I tell her to it's like, well, I mean, you have to parse this. It's like, if you told her, would it be for her benefit? Would it be for your benefit? Would it cause more suffering? Would it cause less suffering? What's your real intent here? In I mean, he he loves her to death he got I mean, he was having a lot of stress and he got seriously serious Les Branca did this. And it's

Shawn Weber: 10:02

like, does she need an STD test?

Scott Weiner: 10:04

He might need one

Unknown: 10:06

at frankly, in this case, no. Okay. And there's a reason for that too. Yeah. Okay. They don't. But yeah, so it's,

Shawn Weber: 10:15

you're saying there's a point where it's productive to disclose?

Mark Hill: 10:22

Not just it's a moral imperative to disclose. There's adoptive. Yes.

Scott Weiner: 10:27

There's the ethical duty.

Shawn Weber: 10:29

And then there can be times where it's very unkind to disclose so I can tell you, you know, you're looking really old and kind of fat

Unknown: 10:38

he tells me that all the time.

Shawn Weber: 10:41

I could tell you that,

Scott Weiner: 10:42

but that was me. I'm losing my hair too. And I have no idea what he

Shawn Weber: 10:46

said. Right. Flip the station for, like, read.

Unknown: 10:51

I know, it's pretty clear,

Shawn Weber: 10:52

it wouldn't be exactly time to tell you what I've observed. Right?

Mark Hill: 10:57

There's, there's a line from an old Waylon Jennings song that goes, don't I warn you when you're getting fat? Am I going to take you fishing with me one day? Well, a man can love a woman more than that. So there's, yeah,

Shawn Weber: 11:16

well, okay. So so it may actually, I mean, we withhold things from our kids all the time, right. There's adults, the kids, but not necessarily I mean, I don't invite them into bedroom discussions. You know, there's things that there's reasons why we have locked doors. How dishonest of you, right, I'm always honest person because I tell them what happens in our bedroom. Right? Well, I think a divorce. Well, it's not well, I mean, I can get Freudian on you here here. That's all right. If you get excellent violence, right. There's there's a point where that intimacies of what happens is the bedroom is actually very much related to the intimacies intimacies and what happens in a divorce. Well, yes. And you don't share that with just everybody the

Scott Weiner: 12:05

betrayals that we are actually discussing, as a substrate for all of this, frankly, our bedroom betrayals. Yeah, aren't they? It's all part of it. Right. And, and it's like, you know, it's funny, it hadn't occurred to me, you, you've mentioned that vignette to me before. About that guy said I was going to be he was going to be honest, it was like, you know, I wonder if you had said to him, do you? In the course of being honest with your children? Do you discuss, you know, sexual positions with your do you discuss I mean,

Shawn Weber: 12:41

because that would be the honest thing that would be really, you

Unknown: 12:43

know, thoroughly that

Mark Hill: 12:44

but you do have situations where the maybe it's seems to me, it's often a single child is very aligned with one of the parties. And when their teenage years, they take guidance from that person. And they're kind of like that, they see that person is their best friend. Yes, I've seen that situation occur, actually, with both sexes, dad with a son and mother with a daughter. And it was, you know, a blurring of the roles to Father and Son. And that was a reason to share everything about the divorce, those lines I felt had been blurred before this occurred. Well, maybe they ended up there because of what happened during the marriage. That's a possibility.

Shawn Weber: 13:30

And the research shows that there's a couple of things that are very harmful to a kid in a divorce. And one of the things is really harmful to a kid is rectification Yes. When the child is present ified? No, sometimes I think oversharing with the child before they're of an age where they it's appropriate for them to hear the disclosure. Yeah. puts them in a place that they shouldn't be.

Mark Hill: 13:55

I need to take care of the parent, because look, what an awful time they're being put

Shawn Weber: 14:00

on. So 13 year old Tommy feels like he needs to defend mom to dad or whatever. Yeah, and that isn't a good place to put that kid. So we're kind of talking about, you know, what you should not disclose. We should not disclose, quote, unquote, adult business with kids. It's actually the law in California that you don't disclose. Details of court proceedings, show them court filings speak ill of the other parent in the presence of the child, that's usually an order from the judge. It's routine, that you'll get that kind of an order that neither parent will speak ill of the other parent or allow other people to do so in the presence of children. And precisely because it's not good for them to hear that. Even if it's true. But what should we disclose? What should we tell the kids so I'm getting ready to sit the kids down and tell them about Mom and Dad's divorce or in this day and age mom and mom's divorce and dad and dad's divorce? What what do I tell them? Hmm,

Mark Hill: 14:59

well, what I would ask what's important to the children? What's important for them to know? Where am I going to live? Am I going to go to the same school while I still have my same friends? That's a big one. You know, where are you both going to live? Often, I mean, children, it depends upon the age once again, if they're tiny children, they just follow like sheep. But you once you get teenagers around, they have lives and they have things they do. And the focus is very different. So again, it's age specific, but I think, you know, children want to know, a, that they are loved. B, that they are going to be okay. And what is going to happen to them? That's, that's kind of what I hear from kids.

Scott Weiner: 15:56

It's like the adverbs who, what, when, where, you know, and I, I'm gonna lean away from the why it's gonna say who, what,

Shawn Weber: 16:05

where, when? How never why.

Mark Hill: 16:06

Yeah, yes, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And, and basically, I've had, you know, parents agonizing over how do we tell them? How do we tell them, and on more than one occasion, they've come back, and they said, Well, that was easier than we thought they were kind of relieved. And they just want to know what's going on and where, who's going to go where the, in other words, the kids who were both teenagers in this case, we're, we're pretty much sure that this was going to happen. They were not blind to what was going on in the home. And they just were concerned that no one was telling them how it was going to impact them.

Shawn Weber: 16:41

Well, and that's the number one complaint of kids in divorce, when they talked about looking back on their parents divorce is that they were never asked to talk to you about what was going on this thing just kind of happened to them. Right? Instead of

Mark Hill: 16:54

passengers. They were passengers on a train that they couldn't control, like

Shawn Weber: 16:58

my friend who just loaded a new car. Never saw his dad again. Wow. I mean, that's, that's pretty harsh. Yeah, that's a really bad example. You know, it's a really awful situation. But

Scott Weiner: 17:10

I don't think that happens as much anymore. Not as much. I mean, now. I mean, I've had, you know, family situations where the judge makes certain that the incarcerated parent gets visits, you know, it's like that level of, you know, what, because then you're gonna have to show that me says his or her honor, you're gonna have to show me that it's harmful to maintain contact with this parent.

Shawn Weber: 17:39

One thing we know is that even when a parent lacks, all have a functioning, that we'd like to see the ideal, we do know that it's still healthy for the kids to have relationship. Okay. Yeah.

Scott Weiner: 17:51

So that is something that, you know, when you ask, you know, what do we tell the kids that, I think maybe the most important thing is, we must let them know that they are still going to have a fulsome relationship with both parents. And, and then their kids, kids are a little scientist, you know, well, so does that mean that I'm going to be, you know, I know Freddy, he goes, he gets five days with with, with his mom and two days with dad, and then two days, which is, you know,

Shawn Weber: 18:23

by the way, they are talking to their friends. Yeah, yes. They are. Yeah.

Scott Weiner: 18:30

So they're more familiar with these processes. I mean, we're doing a we're working on a case right now, where I think they really the parents don't know yet what they're going to do. They don't know how they're going to do it. Because, as usual, there's a lever and a levy. And, you know, somebody is, so these things haven't been worked out

Shawn Weber: 18:53

yet. Well, they're trying to figure it out for themselves. They don't even know what their relationship is gonna be like, That's right. And so one of them's like, well, I, you know, we're gonna be able to do Christmases together. And the other ones, like, I don't know, if I can do that. You're gonna leave me I don't think I can do first I can take that, you know? And yeah. And so then now they're going to go to the kids and talking about how Christmas is going to work. Yeah. So if you don't know the answer, do you think it's okay to say, you know, we're trying to figure this out? We know, we're trying to figure

Scott Weiner: 19:20

this out. I mean, you've got a couple of choices. First of all, you could say we don't know yet. We're trying to figure this out. And, you know, I mean, if the kids some kids are like little sages, you know, they really are.

Mark Hill: 19:33

So I think

Unknown: 19:35

how would you like it to be? Well, I

Mark Hill: 19:37

think explaining about the process that they're going through. Because if they are talking to their friends, how many of their friends will have had parents will have had a mediated or collaborative divorce. Some may have but there's a lot of may not let them be there is then there's good mediation and bad mediation as well. So, I would say that there is

Shawn Weber: 20:03

we're trying to do good. We're trying to do the good. Just wanted to change Ryan, this aspiration,

Unknown: 20:08

same patient,

Mark Hill: 20:09

always aspirational. But what do you think about that?

Shawn Weber: 20:16

What do I think about what?

Mark Hill: 20:18

I just said? You weren't listening?

Shawn Weber: 20:21

I was listening. I didn't know there was a question.

Mark Hill: 20:26

Well, children, let's, let's approach it from another angle. Children will be talking to their friends about what is going on. And they will be getting feedback from their friends. And that feedback will be dependent upon the who they're going to go and talk to the friends whose parents are happily married, or the friends that parents got a divorce? Or are you going through a divorce that they're aware of? They're going to go to the ones with the experience, and what experience is that? So my point was tried to tell the children of the process you're going through, and that get that can buy you some time to working together to solve this so that you guys are going to be safe and secure. And okay. And we don't know the answers to all this, but we're going to keep you informed as we go through it. or words to that effect.

Scott Weiner: 21:21

That is extremely good input, sir. I must say, No, I'm not kidding. And no, no, no jokes.

Shawn Weber: 21:29

I would like the audience to understand that Scott approves.

Mark Hill: 21:34

Well, and that is such a rare event.

Scott Weiner: 21:38

God is this therapist guy who just got very, very nicely schooled by the financial guy, and I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. And that that little vignettes that little to made, is something that I plan to steal. For our first couple for a couple that we're working on. It's like, less, we

Shawn Weber: 21:59

can't really sometimes I

Unknown: 22:00

do really crazy, maniacal, musician, Brit that

Shawn Weber: 22:07

we work with? Yeah, well, he's pretty smart guy. He is a is a wise man of divorce. That's true. So, okay, so then there's, there's kind of the emotional security, you're gonna be okay. And I like what you said about security, because there's also financial security. Yep. I mean, a lot of times kids are scared, if we're gonna have enough money. Sometimes you see me, you might see like, one of the parties fretting over, do they have enough money now? Because they're having to divide everything by two and it's going to their cost of living is going to be higher? Because they're living in two separate houses? Well, I knew what do you tell the kids about that

Scott Weiner: 22:40

we could, we can be even a little. And it's not dishonest right now, for us to be to face some of the harsh realities to there are times when people really do wonder how they're going to get by if they divide things into those parents are kind of they're kind of gone. You know, if the kid were gonna say, Well, are we going to live in a nice house? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know how it's gonna go down. But you will have us you will have us will be with you all the way. You know, but, and we'll know about that. I want to know, can I still live

Mark Hill: 23:12

and we're working on it. We'll keep you informed. We're working on it. It's tough. Neither one of us wanted this. It's tough. We're trying to work it out with your best interests at heart.

Shawn Weber: 23:25

Now, my

Mark Hill: 23:26

daughter, that's the message to convey.

Shawn Weber: 23:28

My daughter share this story about one of one of her friends told her about their parents, best friend, and it was kind of emotional for and it was the child was talking to Dad, can I have some money to go do this activity or do whatever? And he's like, I already pay your money, Mom enough child support?

Unknown: 23:52

Oh, I've had that. I've had plenty of that.

Shawn Weber: 23:56

Or the in front of the kids or the inverse. Go ask your dad or go ask your mom for that money because I can't afford it. Because I have, you know, they're not paying me enough child support.

Mark Hill: 24:08

So how does that happen? Because I'm going to drag it back to process. Yeah, that's where there's a court order been imposed. Where there hasn't been a discussion about what are we going to do about the kids extra curricular stuff. We both want them to be able to be on their sports teams. How are we going to work this out how we're going to make this work? No, it probably one party went for as much as they could get and the other party tried to pay as little as possible. And a judge had to decide or they got forced into a settlement

Shawn Weber: 24:41

where there was a win lose outcome. Exactly. And so

Mark Hill: 24:45

there's resentment because they were not consulted on this. How did the process it does.

Scott Weiner: 24:51

Sometimes this happens when there's just a lose lose outcome because there really isn't that much to start with. And then they you know,

Shawn Weber: 24:57

let's be honest, most of the time it is lose lose. Yeah. No. And what you're saying mark is, is hey, you can get into a process where you can have an intelligent, thoughtful discussion with your partner about how you're going to handle the cash flow.

Mark Hill: 25:14

So that when it comes up with the children, you don't get knocked into a corner and start blaming the other party. Yeah, because you have had a you have a plan, you have a plan how to deal with the inevitable because trust me, if you've raising children, in their teenage years, their demands will become financially surprising.

Scott Weiner: 25:35

Well, I think you are an incredibly positive person. And that's one of the things I've seen there be all the planning and all of the I mean, a really good agreement. And one of those people is still Joneses, for approving. Yes, yeah. It's like, you know, so these things are still going to come up. But I mean, the best we can do is to help these people, not become nasty litigants, and help them at least create the best plan. And there's a better chance doing it that way that the kid asks for something or, you know, and it's a lot, you know, and even if even if Mary or Fred are really thinking, Well, if that son of a gun, it's like, you know, what, we have a, we have a way to work this out, we'll see. Even if they bring it back, you know, and mediate out, you know, who's going to pay for the expensive ballet? Or who's gonna pay for the expensive traveling football team or something like that? How are we going to do that? We didn't anticipate that. You know, and it might not be possible for them to do it. It might Yeah.

Mark Hill: 26:50

Yeah. Sometimes there is, you know, a negative impact on the children inevitably, because two homes cost more than one, I get it. But children who don't know, are children who are more likely to be challenging to work with children. Who had this information? In other words, they they, because a lot of its peer pressure. We're all going on the field trip? What do you mean, you're not going on the field trip? Because your mom's broke? You know, there's peer pressure there. So helping the child prepare for things, setting expectations, giving the child help the child have a plan? I don't know. Maybe I'm just overly positive?

Shawn Weber: 27:38

Well, I think I think there's reasons to be positive. I think I think the big takeaway is many fold. One is, it's not a good idea to share nastiness about the other person with the kid. All that does is hurt the kid all that does is like a boomeranging arrow. Right. Yeah.

Mark Hill: 27:54

Well, and in the long, yeah, they won't benefit you in the long run.

Shawn Weber: 27:58

And actually, it will poison your relationship with. Yeah, there's that that's very toxic behavior. So don't do it. Okay. So number two, it is important to share some things with the child and help them feel secure and safe, relieve their anxieties. They're there. They're safe with their parents, they're going to be safe with their money. And they have a safe place to go emotionally. Yep. Right. What else do we need? What else Oh, and and there are processes that are more conducive to that conversation going well than other processes. So adversarial process is where you go to court and go to war and condition yourself to hate your spouse and not talk to each other. It is then harder to be on the same page, as your co parent, when it's now time to work with your child.

Scott Weiner: 28:52

Or be at the same outing where your child is or their same activity. It's like all of that. So

Shawn Weber: 28:58

find a process that encourages cooperation and collaboration, as opposed to a process that encourages animosity, and adversarial interactions.

Mark Hill: 29:09

And if it's age appropriate, make your children aware of what you and your spouse are doing, to try to create an environment that work for them.

Shawn Weber: 29:19

We love you so much. Exactly. Hey, Mark Hills exorbitant to help us figure out and I'm joking, but in all honesty, we're trying we're working with a financial professional to help us figure out and make sure that we're still on track to make sure that your your college is is squared away. Yeah, something like, yeah, exactly. You know, yeah, yep. Or we're meeting with this psychologist. In fact, we're going to invite you to come meet with this person. And so we can talk about how our family is going to work after the divorce because our family isn't ending. We're all still here and we all still love you. And you have two parents that love you very dearly, and we want to make sure that we do this in a way that makes a lot of sense for you and it's good for you.

Unknown: 30:03

Right, my ads?

Shawn Weber: 30:05

Well, Somebody oughta.

Mark Hill: 30:11

Okay. I think we may have done it again.

Unknown: 30:14

I think so. Well, I think so.

Shawn Weber: 30:16

I think so i Good. Good talk kids. Yeah.

Scott Weiner: 30:21

So seasonal too, by the way, you know, there's getting getting through June through the holidays. Oh, boy. That's probably our next one. Let's talk about the

Shawn Weber: 30:33

Well, I mean, in the case we're talking about there's that wrinkle of, well, what do we do at Christmas? We haven't told them yet. We pretend. Yeah. So that could be another whole whole discussion. So, Scott, yes. If they haven't read your advertising material that you've so carefully drafted? Well,

Scott Weiner: 30:53

you know, I'm waiting for you to set me up with a website. Actually, I don't have one, I have a phone. And that is how I connect with my universe. And my name is Scott Weiner. And I'm a psychologist Solana Beach. 619-417-5743. And I answered my own self.

Mark Hill: 31:16

All right. Well, you can look at our website. Our company name is specific divorce management, they website is pack divorce.com. We do have a phone number on there. And yes, we have been known to answer the telephone too. But also there is a contact form on there. If you'd like to learn more.

Unknown: 31:36

Did you get that working? Apparently, we did.

Mark Hill: 31:39

Good told it is operational.

Shawn Weber: 31:42

So I can actually send you an email.

Mark Hill: 31:45

You can date you can write as long as you're not a robot to have to prove you're not a robot

Shawn Weber: 31:54

I website to certify that you're not a robot. Exactly.

Unknown: 31:58

I think he's vaguely real.

Mark Hill: 32:01

Well, you're in the same room with him. So you would know that unless I'm a robot

Unknown: 32:05

to. He is quite real to me. Me. Well.

Shawn Weber: 32:11

Oh my gosh. Well, if you have any kind of legal dispute, you could go to my website, Weber dispute resolution.com where we will match you with a mediator that can help you resolve your dispute that is Weber dispute. resolution.com Weber with one B.

Scott Weiner: 32:30

Okay, folks, good to speak with you great holidays. But there's a lot more to talk about. Bye. Bye bye.

Shawn Weber: 32:39

Thanks for listening to another episode of the three Wiseman of divorce, money, Psych, and law. If you liked what you heard, be sure to subscribe. Leave us a review and share with others who may be in a similar place. Until next time, stay safe, healthy and focused on a positive bright future. This podcast is for informational purposes only. Every family law case is unique. So no legal, financial or mental health advice is intended during this podcast. If you need help with your specific situation, feel free to schedule a time to speak with one of us for a personal consultation.