With the New Year come new resolutions and plans for the upcoming year. But what if your New Year's resolution is to get a divorce? Believe it or not, January is known as "divorce season" in the family law business because so many people decide to call it quits after the holidays.
Divorce experts Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA®, Financial Divorce Consultant; Peter Roussos, MA, MFT, CST, psychotherapist; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F*, Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney, talk about divorce in the New Year and things to think about before you take the plunge.
*Certified Specialist - Family Law
The State Bar of California Board of Legal Specialization
The Three Wisemen of Divorce are divorce experts Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA®, Financial Divorce Consultant; Peter Roussos, MA, MFT, CST, psychotherapist; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F*, Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney.
© 2024 Weber Dispute Resolution. All rights reserved.
With the New Year come new resolutions and plans for the upcoming year. But what if your New Year's resolution is to get a divorce? Believe it or not, January is known as "divorce season" in the family law business because so many people decide to call it quits after the holidays.
Divorce experts Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA®, Financial Divorce Consultant; Peter Roussos, MA, MFT, CST, psychotherapist; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F*, Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney, talk about divorce in the New Year and things to think about before you take the plunge.
*Certified Specialist - Family Law
The State Bar of California Board of Legal Specialization
The Three Wisemen of Divorce are divorce experts Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA®, Financial Divorce Consultant; Peter Roussos, MA, MFT, CST, psychotherapist; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F*, Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney.
© 2024 Weber Dispute Resolution. All rights reserved.
This guysthis has been for me a really interesting conversation. I'm glad we're having it. I need to say to the two of you, I'm disappointed that neither one of you suggested giving Given the timing of the year that you know we should have been doing this with eggnog. So
Mark Hill:well, one more before Christmas we have scheduled to record we can all come with with our beverage of choice at that point,
Peter Roussos:and your sweaters are way too tasteful for this time of year guys... ya know?
Shawn Weber:Welcome to the three Wiseman of divorce, money, Psych and law podcast. Sit down with the California divorce experts financial divorce consultant Mark Hill, marriage and family therapist, Pete Russo's and attorney Shawn Weber. For a frank and casual conversation about divorce, separation, co parenting and the difficult decisions, real people like you face during these tough times. We know that if you are looking at divorce or separation, it can be scary and overwhelming. With combined experience of over 60 years of divorce and conflict management, we are here for you and look forward to help by sharing our unique ideas, thoughts and perspectives on divorce, separation, and co parenting. So here we are winding down another year. I can't believe it's December already. It it seems that we just did this.
Peter Roussos:So let me ask you guys, is there something special about the end of the year as it relates to in your mind the processes of divorce, like what comes up for you guys, when you think about end of the year, or I guess another way of thinking about is not just ended here but start of New Year?
Shawn Weber:Well, the first thing that happens to me as I get the people that are trying to finish their case, and they want to be divorced by the end of the year. And the only reason that somebody really needs to be concerned about divorcing by the end of the year, if they if there's a tax reason for it. So if they want to file separately without taking the hit and having to file married filing separately, it's best if they can be divorced before the end of the year. Although honestly, Mark, you and I have experienced that most people do better just waiting until January to call themselves divorced and then filing jointly for the year.
Mark Hill:Yeah, I mean, that's usually the best outcome saves the couple both money. They have to talk to their accountant to make sure obligations are split appropriately. And there may be another small bill from the accountant to do that work. But they're better off just about in every single case, to file jointly married filing jointly. And even when we got the case resolved months ahead of the end of the year, where the judgment is signed, it's actually sitting on the judge's desk and the judge will sign it early in January and there'll be final them but they can literally then pile the joint return for this current tax year.
Shawn Weber:I had a case where it was like a week before the end of the year and I submitted a judgment and I told the people don't worry, they won't be able to file this until the end of the you know until that it won't be final until January and lo and behold at the court didn't go ahead and terminate their marital status on December 30. Act like that actually process the judgment in January, but they thought they were doing them a favor by processing on December 30. And it just screwed everything up for their taxes
Mark Hill:Oh boy. Yeah.
Shawn Weber:So now I've gotten a habit if they really want to make sure they're divorcing in the new year to go ahead and let the court know when I send. But um, you know, the courts here in San Diego do a special walkthrough date. But it you have to turn all the papers in 15 days before the walkthrough date. And they usually set the walkthrough date like around the 18th of December, depending on the courtroom. And they think 15 court days, so you have to remove holidays and weekends. That gets you back pretty far, like towards the beginning of December, end of November. And so most people have missed the opportunity to get the guaranteed walkthrough date. But the judges are saying that if you turn it in now they'll process it by the end of the year. I'll see if that's really true. So I mean, there's that, you know, the other reason that sometimes people want to have it done by the end of the year is just a psychological reason. I need to be divorced. You know, I've had people say that to me and I it doesn't matter to them as much financially, legally, what really matters to them is just I need my marital status terminated this year. I can't go into a new year being married to this person. And I get that. I would probably suggest to folks that you cut yourself some slack on that and just remember is Since the date, you know, but
Mark Hill:unless there's a desire to remarry in January,
Shawn Weber:well, there's that. I can't tell you how many cases I've had where somebody's got wedding invitations printed already, and you're not going to be divorced by that. Yeah.
Peter Roussos:Or I guess, and then, you know, what we're talking about and thinking about those cases of people who are contemplating divorce. And and how many times I've heard over the course of my career, where were couples talk about, you know, we look, let's wait and not make the decision or individuals, let's not make the decision until the new year, get through the holidays, make it easier, perhaps on the children. And, and I understand that, but at the same time, you know, there's no best time, I think, to announce the decision to divorce. I mean, I've seen families were, you know, kids appreciate the fact that they had, they didn't know what was going on. Until after the holidays and and seen situations when families were, the withholding of that information was actually something that the kids experienced is making it more difficult and more challenging.
Shawn Weber:We talked about that on our last one. Yeah. That sometimes the kids feel like they've been duped? Absolutely. Absolutely. You know, so, you know, just kind of recap what we talked about last time, it's very important when you think about the decision to talk to family about the divorce, that you just do it in a unified way. In a way that's not too cute. I think some people try to make it well, we're gonna get through Christmas, because it'll be nice. And we'll open presents together. Well, your kids aren't stupid. You know, even the small kids can tell when there's negativity going on. And when things are awful. I mean, how many cases have you had Pete where somebody says to you? Oh, my gosh, I'm so glad they're finally getting divorced.
Peter Roussos:Oh, yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely.
Shawn Weber:Yeah. I think a lot of times what happens not to recap too much of what we did last time, but I think a lot of times what happens is the kids do much better than the parents do. And the parents are kind of worried about their own emotions, but they're putting it on their kids don't anything that happens. Yeah, it's like
Mark Hill:the house conversation. I can, I can live in under an underpass. But I must have the mansion for the children, you know,
Shawn Weber:yeah. And you find out that the kids are going to be fine. Kids are far more adaptable than parents are. Not that you shouldn't think about what they do. But sometimes people put too much weight on, all the children are going to really suffer.
Mark Hill:Well, that's one of the benefits of the collaborative process is the children actually do have a voice and a separate conversation with a child specialist who can, you know, basically give a voice to the kids because we do know that children tend to tell the parents what they think they want to hear. And for
Shawn Weber:those that are out there that don't know what the collaborative process is, that's when you have similar to what's going on with our podcast, you have an attorney to attorneys that sign an agreement that says they're never going to go to court. So there's always an incentive to stay in the process. And then you bring in a financial specialists like Mark here, or you might bring in a coach, mental health professional like Pete, and you would bring in coaches for each of the parties and you bring a child specialist and having a voice for those kids that we've seen that that can be really huge.
Mark Hill:So talking about the new year, I believe there may be a few people on this call that are thinking my New Year's resolution is to finally go forward with the divorce. So what what should we be thinking about if that's on our agenda?
Shawn Weber:Number one, call now to your to your professionals get a process started now, in my opinion, because if you wait until the new year, you're going to be in with the crush of all the other people that are thinking the same way that you do. We call it divorce season in the industry for a reason. January, February, is kind of a divorce season where we get a real rush of cases. And that's because people wait until the new year to file and it just seems to be like a lot of people that want to file right,
Peter Roussos:Shawn? And I think this is something that we've also touched on before but I think it would be good for you to I'm going to ask you to explain what you regard as the ideal if you will way for a person who is is decided to file for divorce to connect with a family law attorney you as a mediator. How do you like to see those initial inquiries made, what do you think is, is?
Shawn Weber:Well as a mediator, I like it when both parties call together. Or they can call my office and they can have a meet and greet. And I'll get on a zoom with two parties. You know, it's important for if you're able to do this, and I understand that there's some marriages where this isn't possible. Okay. So I don't want to be insensitive to that. But for for a lot of people, if you can, you know, Mark, you and I have always said, the decision of how you divorce is almost as important as the decision to divorce. Yes. And so kind of talking that over with your spouse, what are the options to get divorce, and you might even consider going to a website, CPCAL.org, I think he actually got a CPcal.com. To and find a Divorce Options workshop. And they're all online now. Because with with COVID, they've just kind of been doing them all online, you can do it by zoom, there's some there in person, but you can meet with an attorney, a financial specialist, and a mental health professional, and learn about all of the options for divorce. You know, from the traditional litigation model to mediation, where you have a neutral, working with both parties to collaborative practice, like we described before, and other methodologies so that you can take control and be in charge of your own divorce. So that's the first thing I love it when they have information. Yeah, workshop like that is huge.
Mark Hill:I agree. Because what tends to happen is, people don't know what to do. And so they both know, the marriage is not going well. They're having challenges in the relationship, and something will happen. That will scare one of the parties and they'll go, I need a strong attorney to fight for my rights. And they go and they hire somebody who perhaps has a billboard with knuckle dusters on there they see on the freeway as they drive by. If they do that, what kind of attorney do you think their spouse is going to hire someone to match that not a milk toast, not somebody who's going to just roll over. So now you're on what I termed the divorce escalator. And that goes downwards, folks not upwards. And once you get on it, it's very hard to get off. So talking about the process and how you want to do this, hopefully, with your spouse, or at least gathering the information, as shown was suggesting by attending a divorce options workshop is a really important step.
Shawn Weber:But yeah, if you can come in together, that's better, you know. And then even if you haven't gone to divorce options workshop, if you call my office, I'll give you that information. For example,
Mark Hill:I do the same by the way, too. I have calls with both clients, I engineer those and that's complimentary. So
Shawn Weber:and don't go in thinking that you're going to get all of your questions answered for your case, what you want to focus on in the first call is process. How are we going to do this not? Am I going to get to keep the house and where are the kids going to live? That will come with the first thing to do is set the tone with a process that you choose take control of that process at the beginning, because when you wait, and you just call the first billboard that you see attorney, they're going to put you in their process, which is how they do things. And there's a lot of litigators in town, that's all they do is litigation. And we kind of joke that if all you have is a hammer is one of your tools, and the only thing you're going to see around town are nails. And so the same thing with the litigator, all they're going to see and I used to work for a litigation firm, it's just standard operating procedure, you file a petition, you go to court, you send a nasty gram to the other side and you get going. And maybe that's not what you want. Maybe you wanted to be more respectful thing. The other thing paid, maybe this is something you can comment on is that conversation you have with the spouse about process. I've always told people, you know, talk to your spouse and say, you know, we're getting divorced, things are hard. They're not butterflies and rainbows. But we want I want to honor what was good about our relationship, and I want to put our kids first. Can we do this in a respectful way and find a process that will keep us out of court and keep this morbid, mutual, respectful process, but how do you coach people to do that?
Peter Roussos:Well, I think very much along those lines. And it's, you know, certainly not unusual, where I have couples coming in in their first meetings with me or because they've decided to make the decision to divorce and they want to explore Okay, what does this mean? So I talked with them about process options, and I think what you're talking about is just this vitally important. And the way we've defined this and talked about in a previous podcast, is the idea of the couples coming together and defining the mission statement. How do they want to go through this process? What are the the objectives that they have the goals that they have, what do they want to get out of it, I like to talk to two couples who have made that decision in terms of this is an opportunity to really redefine, and CO create a very different kind of post divorce co parenting relationship, if they have children, you know that this is an opportunity to really take a sense of stewardship about how they want to get through this process and kind of they come together in a collaborative way. So there's a boundary question that I'm curious about for you both. If if, if an individual if your first contact is with an individual, does that preclude you from working as a mediator? With both parties?
Mark Hill:My response is, it depends. How was I approached in the first case, and have I talked specifics of the case, if I've just talked process with one side, I'm fine with having the same conversation with the other side. If someone hired me and said, Oh, I'm getting a divorce. And I just need someone to look over my shoulder, make sure I don't do anything stupid from financial standpoint. And I've looked at the case, and I've told the person the things they need to be conscious about as they go through it. And then they would come back and say, Well, I think we're going to use you as a mediator. It's like, yeah, that's where I would have some difficulty, because I've already sort of, you know, caucus with one side and try to assist them. But if I've had a conversation with one I've done nothing but talk process, my normal, modus operandi is to literally say, now I need to have the same conversation with your wife or with your husband, please, could we set that up, because we've not talked about, you know, the specifics.
Shawn Weber:But my approach is quite similar. I tell people, okay, I want this needs to be a non substantive process. And we discussion, we're going to talk about how you're going to get divorced. Before we talk about the specifics of your case. Because the moment I put on a hat and start dispensing legal advice, I'm forever aligned with you, I cannot undo that I can't unring that bell. And so if you want to use me as a mediator, which you would be wise to consider. Because that's really where my best skill set is, is the mediation, then let's, let's limit our conversation to process only, you know, where it gets a little kind of difficult. Sometimes there's a lot of times when it's only one person calling, and I can't get them scheduled together, it's because there's such a communication breakdown, right? Or maybe the other person just can't believe that divorce is really happening. And any speaking to a divorce professional means that we're going to make this happen, I've had that happen, we get that all the time where someone's in denial that there's really a divorce happening. And so then sometimes I will, I will give some suggestions on how to talk to the other person, but then I might refer them to someone like yourself, B, to really get some coaching, so that they can figure out how to enroll the other spouse in a process without having to turn into a court situation. I will tell people, you know, you kind of talk to the other person, like you do your child in a respectful way. But I remember, you know, I have five kids. And when we when they were little, sometimes we'd have this conversation, you can put on the red shoe or the blue shoe. You know, give them that choice, but they're going to wear shoes. And so it's not very different from this, we can do this the nice friendly mediation or collaborative way. But if you refuse to come to the table, I'm going to have to hire an attorney who will just move this forward in the legal process. And not that it's a threat. It's just letting you know, this is the reality this is moving forward. And so that happens too. I'm also aware of those situations where you have coercive control, perhaps from maybe maybe a person's calling me and they're afraid to talk to the other person. And so then I'll do a little bit of an assessment. And I'll ask some more deep questions without feeling like I violated neutrality is to find out what's going on from this person's perspective. Has there been violence, as there have been stalking behaviors? Does this person feel safe, that kind of thing? So that I can basically get them with an attorney? Because I'm a mediator, I'm going to try to stay a mediator unless they really want me as their attorney. And by the way, I'll represent them in a collaborative process, but I don't go to court. Right. But I will get them with an attorney who could look out for their, you know, safety concerns, like if there's a domestic violence concern, I want to make sure that gets addressed and they get to the resources that they need to be safe, but I won't give that advice. I'll just say no, you need to talk to them. Attorney X here who can really make sure you need to talk to them about your safety concerns. And by the way, you can still mediate a case where there's things like that going on. You just have to be very careful. And it's advanced work, but it's stuff that I do. And a lot of good mediators have the training to do. The answer your question, Pete? That was a lot of stuff.
Peter Roussos:Yeah. And you actually, you also responded to it part of your answer, answer is something I was curious about, which is, like, Do you have a preference? Would you rather put it that way? I work as the mediator or, you know, be the consulting attorney. And it sounds like you would rather be the mediator?
Shawn Weber:Me personally. Yeah, no, I would personally prefer to be a mediator, because I just get rid of a charge out of helping people resolve a difference. I find that I don't mind representing people. But what's interesting is actually, I actually changed my fee structure, I'm $25 more per hour if you want me to represent you. Because I'm more willing to give more of myself for less money. If it's mediation, then if I'm, I'm representing someone, because that takes more of a toll on me. So then I'm going to charge $25 More an hour.
Peter Roussos:And just, I guess, to reiterate, I want to make sure that I saying this in the way that you you, you see it. And the way you frame it, Shawn is that when possible, the best way to start a mediation process or to explore that is where both partners meet with the mediator together, that's what you'd like to see happen.
Shawn Weber:100% that is always better. And I encourage that if they, if they can't do it together, then I'll schedule two meetings. And it'll be a non substantive meal. It's similar what Mark was talking about a non substantive meeting with each of where we talk about process, and we get there and I give them the same information. And I, you know, when it's when it's a challenging case, particularly high conflict, or there's coercive control issues, I'll set up what we call pre marital or pre op, sorry, pre mediation, counseling, or coaching is different mediators call it different things. But the idea is you have caucus sessions that are paid for with each of the parties prior to the mediation actually commencing. But it's understood that you're spending an hour with each of the parties and talking to them about their perspective on the case. And then that's okay, because both Newbold know, I'm doing this from a neutral perspective, and I'm giving each of them the same amount of time. That can be a useful thing to do. Like, if you've got a case where it's really, really good. I had a case years ago, where the wife was just absolutely terrified of the husband, and he really was kind of a turkey, he really did exert some manipulative behaviors, and that those those pre mediation meetings, were really crucial to be able to help kind of set boundaries and have some clarity about what's really going on. So that I could then help the parties then reach a resolution because even though the husband was kind of a turkey, I needed to be neutral to him. And help them both reach an agreement. And by the way, you can, like I said, you can do domestic violence cases, you might if there's a restraining order, you might have to modify the restraining order to allow for mediation to happen. But you know, it might, you know, if we do it by zoom, there's no contact at all, they don't even have to see each other. And if they do it at my office, I've got different conference rooms, and we have precautions for how we can make sure that it's safe. Yeah, the interesting stuff. But yeah, I mean, if people were thinking about this, end of the year thing, and thinking that this is their, their kind of their decision point, I get it. I mean, this is a, I do it every year with, you know, taking stock of how my year went and where I'm going, and my next year, I come up with a word for myself every year for oh, I'm going to live my life and run my business and I can totally see where somebody's like, you know, I need to make this change. I need to do it soon. And so, you know, I, my best advice would be Communicate, communicate, communicate, and maybe you don't tell the kids immediately but you probably ought to start talking to professionals about process soon, so that you can plan for it. So that when you're ready to pull the trigger on this thing, sorry, it's an unfortunate metaphor, but when you're ready to get started on this thing, you can you're ready to go and you've got the the tools you know, available to you to do what you need to do. And as I always tell my clients stay in charge
Mark Hill:because once thing that does tend to happen if you go the litigation route is that your attorney will have you fill out the papers to file the divorce. And then those papers need to be served on the other spouse. And it's not done as I know from better personal experience of sitting in my nice office in La Jolla and having a biker walk in to reception and drop a paper in front of other divers, a financial adviser, then a nice firm, and saw the papers dropped by this biker on a table. And as I walked up to him said, You've been sued buddy and turned around and left in front of other clients, it did not set a good tone for the divorce was basically like being slapped in the face. So be aware, if you do go with the litigation route, have a conversation about how to serve and not embarrass your spouse at that workplace or somewhere, you know, where they feel that there are social pressures, frankly,
Shawn Weber:oh, and this is very important. There's no such thing anymore as a secretly filed petition. So we've had people in the past as well, I'm going to file a petition, but I'm not going to serve the other person yet. until I'm ready to talk to them about it. That is a mistake. Because you there are these unethical people that will troll the court website and are looking for filings and they will reach out to your spouse to solicit business from them. So they can provide legal services to even you may not realize this, but you've been sued, and I'm here to represent you and bad things can happen to you. And and if the first time you're hearing about the divorce is from some third party, unethical salesperson, that's, that's not good. So don't think that filing don't file unless you want the other person to see it. And then I would recommend that the service happen quickly. But take charge of your service, you don't have to use Guido, like Mark was describing to show up at Town person's office, we can do this in a friendly way. That mediations, we just have them sign a piece of paper that says okay, I got it, and then they don't have to send a processor.
Peter Roussos:You know, I'm I'm wondering to those folks listening who have made the decision that they want to get divorced, if it would be I'm thinking it would be useful if you could talk a bit about what they should expect visa vie time. This is a generalization but I imagine that it almost always takes longer than then particularly the motivated. client wants it to. But just what's the end? I guess the other complexity is if if after the first of the year, that's a busier time in your practice, Shawn, because people starting a process. How do you talk to people? Again, something we've touched on before but in this context of you've made the decision to do it? How do you let them know what they should expect visa vie time.
Shawn Weber:First of all, realize that divorce professionals have never been as busy as they are right now. Post COVID It's been apocalyptic for marriages, I think I'm going to be really interested in seeing what the research will show about statistics. But everyone I've talked to has said that the divorces have just been through the roof. And more difficult and more difficult because people are just more the anxiety is higher, the anger levels are higher. It's just a crazy weird between the political climate and the COVID situation. It's just very difficult. So just know your attorney is going to be crazy busy and will not be as responsive to you as that person would like to be. Okay. And I, my poor clients, I'm trying but but we're all just swamped. Yeah. The other thing is be realistic about how long these things take. It's not like you're going to walk into your attorney's office or new media years of mediators office and the following week, you're going to be divorced. It's a process. And it takes some time, on average six to eight months for a mediated divorce is my experience. If it's complex, like there's financial complexities or emotional complexities, it'll take a year or two times longer. Mark, we have cases that God five years Yeah. You know, so everybody's different. So just kind of be realistic about what it's going to take to unwind this.
Mark Hill:And I would say also don't want it to be over fast, in a way because this is the largest financial transaction of most people's lifetimes. You want to get it right. Just getting it done. I understand it. Why Get it done. I want this behind me, I want to move forward with my life. I get all that, however, you don't want to look at it three years down the road and go, Oh, that was really stupid. I shouldn't have made that financial decision. I didn't understand it, I was rushing to get it done. So you, you know you? Yes, you want to get it done in a timely fashion. But you want to get it done right more important than time
Shawn Weber:when How many times have you left the car dealership realized something that you should have thought about in the car dealership, now have a car or I just had a window guy come to our house. And Carrie and I are like, Oh, we should talk about that we should borrow this sign because they pressure you know, like, oh, you lose money. If you don't sign this second. You want your windows done, right? But you need to be kind of realistic about this is going to be more work than you've probably done on any project in your life. And that includes your professional work. That's for most people. That's the report I get. Yep. And this is like successful CEOs that have built large companies. And and and they will tell you, this is the hardest work they've ever engaged in. So be realistic about that it's going to take work. I always tell my clients, I'll meet you halfway, I will never work harder than my client. Good professional will tell you that if they try to do everything for you, it's probably a bad process. And just it takes time. And a lot of times there's also that issue. And we've talked about before on this podcast, where someone's ready to go. And someone's not there yet. Yep. And what we've learned is is slower is faster. So and the other thing is, you know, if you go to court, you know, as opposed to a mediated process, I absolutely promise and guarantee you it'll take four times as long. Because the courts are even more overwhelmed than we are. And they have just a simple motion heard can take six months to a year. Yeah. Where whereas we can do things faster. So just kind of if you've never experienced this before, most people have not been through divorce. Or maybe you've been through one divorce, or two, you know, we have our repeat offenders. Serial monogamists. But most people this is they've not experienced this before. And so you don't know that this pace, it feels very glacial is actually at warp speed.
Mark Hill:People come in talking to me about I can't tell you how many people have walked in and said, well, our case is pretty simple. We've got pensions, I have some stock options, and she did get in inheritance. But we kind of talked about it. It's all pretty straightforward. Read
Shawn Weber:everything already. Yeah.
Mark Hill:That's often the most difficult case is because there are presumptions that people have made before they had all the information necessary to make an informed, truly informed decision. And
Shawn Weber:you mean you want your inheritance to remain separate property? I didn't realize that's what we were talking about. You know, that happens, right? Yeah. Well, when they actually see what the support numbers are, whether it's the payer or the payee, they're both going to be unhappy with that number, because it's always more than the pay pay order wants to pay and less than the payee wants to receive. And they're both right. Because there's just not enough money to go around. Yep. And so you know, giving yourself a little bit of patience and a little bit of flexibility and understanding compassion for yourself. This is going to take some time and that you're going to need to adjust to it is a really good approach.
Peter Roussos:This disguise this has been for me a really interesting conversation. I'm glad we're having those. I need to say to the two of you, I'm disappointed that neither one of you suggested giving Given the timing of the year that you know we should have been doing this with eggnog
Mark Hill:so well, one more before Christmas we have scheduled to record we can all come with with our beverage of choice at that point.
Peter Roussos:And your sweaters are way too tasteful.
Shawn Weber:Well, I always thought that that song Auld Lang zine was very appropriate for New Years in divorce. And old acquaintance be forgot. Some people aim for Can I just forget? But well So
Peter Roussos:Shawn. So if if somebody has made the decision to to get divorced, how do they Get in touch with
Shawn Weber:you. Well, the best thing to do would be to go to my website first Weberdisputeresolution.com That's Weber with one be like the grill dispute, like we had a fight resolution like we solved it.com. And we will, you know, if you have any kind of dispute, we will match you with a mediator who will help you resolve your dispute, and we can talk about these things. And if you're doing a divorce, if you can pull it off, let's get both of you to talk to me or, and we can, we can figure out a process that will work for you.
Peter Roussos:And Mark, if people have financial questions about divorce or other financial questions, what's the best way to get a hold of you?
Mark Hill:My website, Pacdivorce.com PAC di vo rce.com lays out exactly how we do things how we approach things like shown we don't go to court anymore. But we can help you resolve your issue if you want to work in a mediated environment. And we can also help on one side if you just want some information to know if the you're in the process and know if what you're deciding to do make sense financially so we can help on all those levels.
Peter Roussos:Peter? Yeah, I you know, and I think that here's the pitch that I'd like to make today that I'm hoping that that people are listening to this, who are thinking about divorce, but they're open to the possibility of doing marital therapy to see whether or not there's a way to save their marriage. Because I think of that is is my primary specialty working with couples that are really struggling. concerned that there isn't a way forward for them. Those are the couples that I really enjoy working with. And so if you're interested in that kind of a service, my website is Peter Russos.com, p e t e r r o u s s, o s.com. I'm also available to help families that are going through divorce processes in the way of coaching and support are the kinds of processes that Shawn and Mark offer.
Shawn Weber:And we love working with you, Pete, you always make the case more smooth.
Peter Roussos:Well, I love and enjoy working with the two of you and have such respect for you know, I can't tell you how many times I find myself listening to the two of you, and just being really impressed and appreciative of of how sharp you are, how compassionate you are, and how much I think you just really understand and know how to work with relational dynamics. So it certainly makes working with you guys very smooth. And quite honestly, you're also really delightful. And it makes the process fun.
Shawn Weber:So, you know, Pete, if ever I suffer from depression, I'm just going to hang out with you. And have you say things like that?
Peter Roussos:Any time and
Shawn Weber:it's a mutual feeling, isn't it? Yes, indeed.
Peter Roussos:Thank you guys. It really is a pleasure doing this with you.
Shawn Weber:All right, and to those out there in podcast land that are listening to us. Please, like us say nice things about us online. If you know somebody that needs to hear what we have to say please share our podcast with them. We're available anywhere where you can download a podcast. I think we're pretty much universal now. So love that we have listeners out there, those of you that are regular listeners, we really love you and those of you that would share with others what we do we I think we have an important message to share. So now at the end of the year, we wish you a very Happy Holidays and very prosperous new year. Thanks for listening to another episode of the three wise men of divorce, money, Psych, and law. If you liked what you heard, be sure to subscribe. Leave us a review and share with others who may be in a similar place. Until next time, stay safe, healthy and focused on a positive bright future. This podcast is for informational purposes only. Every family law case is unique. So no legal, financial or mental health advice is intended during this podcast. If you need help with your specific situation, feel free to schedule a time to speak with one of us for a personal consultation.