Living the Real

What is good and bad waste in relationships

September 09, 2020 Matt Boettger Episode 11
Living the Real
What is good and bad waste in relationships
Chapters
Living the Real
What is good and bad waste in relationships
Sep 09, 2020 Episode 11
Matt Boettger

I love the concept of "reducing waste" in life and reallocating this idea of "waste" to important things in our life. Take a listen on eight ways (based on the lean manufacturing principles of Toyota) we can see, address, fix, and reallocate waste to better and more valuable parts of our relationship!

Take my Pain to Profit Survey mentioned in the podcast. Matt will choose five people to hop on a call to start addressing your pain points through his 3-M framework. Take it here.

Episode Notes (some are affiliate links):

Please consider supporting this podcast:


Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/ltr)

Show Notes Transcript

I love the concept of "reducing waste" in life and reallocating this idea of "waste" to important things in our life. Take a listen on eight ways (based on the lean manufacturing principles of Toyota) we can see, address, fix, and reallocate waste to better and more valuable parts of our relationship!

Take my Pain to Profit Survey mentioned in the podcast. Matt will choose five people to hop on a call to start addressing your pain points through his 3-M framework. Take it here.

Episode Notes (some are affiliate links):

Please consider supporting this podcast:


Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/ltr)

[00:00:00] Are we living the most real life possible. I ask myself this question all the time. Most of the time, the answer is, I just don't know. Sometimes the answer is definitely not. This is why, how this podcast I'm met.  and welcome to the show. Before we get started just three small things first, please, please leave a review where all reviews are accepted like Apple podcasts.

[00:00:27] It's the main way by which this podcast gets into the hands of other people. Second, please consider supporting living the real through a small recurring donation at patrion.com/ltr or a onetime donation through Venmo or PayPal all in the show notes. Third and last. Please visit  dot com and sign up for my newsletter or you'll get updates on future resources like upcoming blogs, YouTube channels, guest appearances, and exclusive content on my living.

[00:00:54] The real method. Okay. On with the show.

[00:01:02] [00:01:00] Okay, welcome to episode 11 of living the real. And I am Matt bought. I'm excited about this episode is another solo episode, and this might go a little bit long, but I promise you, it is incredibly worth it today. We're talking about relationships and man, this is something, this is my area of growth, and I would assume it's the case for most, every other person who's listening right now.

[00:01:28] And I'm going to take a framework that for some of you, it might be familiar and others, this may be completely out of your realm, but either way, listen, they think this can change your life. I've talked about this before, not on this particular podcast, but I've done in the past the past couple of weeks, I've done a little bit more research, just even self investigation.

[00:01:53] I learned a lot from this. So what am I talking about? Have you guys heard of the Toyota way, [00:02:00] read the book the Toyota way. It's a success story about Toyota and this concept of lean manufacturing, you might be asking yourself, how does this have to deal with relationships? And I think it does in a profound way.

[00:02:14] So where did Toyota, how did Toyota begin to take on these concepts of lean manufacturing? Well, it came out of the post world war one. Economics were just as a troubling time for Japan and Toyota needed to shore up its quote waste. They needed to streamline his manufacturing. If it's going to have an opportunity to have a future.

[00:02:34] And so they adopted these basically seven principles, these seven wastes that they looked at and they tried to then do everything they could to remove as much waste as possible to bring as much value to the Toyota way. And as we know, Toyota is just remarkable. It, their, their cars, we have a Toyota, I think I'll never go back.

[00:02:58] I want it to, because they lasts [00:03:00] forever. They don't break down and it's not just pure coincidence because they adopted something that really does work and they shore up the waste. We're gonna talk about this and I'm going to talk about it in the context of relationships, this idea of getting rid of the waste of relationships.

[00:03:16] Now there's eight now. There's an eighth one that we're gonna talk about. So we're gonna take the seven, we're gonna add one more, one select upon each one of these, these wastes in the kind of this lean principles and applying this to love, to really try to have lean love in your life, which I know I could use more of.

[00:03:34] I could use it. This is a better reflection of my own life to have better relationships. To be a better friend, a better husband, a better father. And these hit me hard to stick with me. I bet you, this is going to have some life changing stuff in it. So Toyota adopted these things and what was its purpose?

[00:03:51] Well, it was to shore up the waste so they could have the most value is as humanly possible. It isn't a particular way. They did this in a way by putting [00:04:00] the power. Onto the floor instead of the executives up in the top who were in some kind of building and Dutton, maybe a different building, some office removed from what was going on, the daily grind of manufacturing.

[00:04:12] They put the power back into those people to stop the assembly line. Any point in time to make changes, to suggest anything, to lean up its manufacturing. And boy did it change everything? So applying this directly to from Toyota relations, it's about not pointing the finger at someone else in the relationship, but putting it accountability backward belongs myself and you who's listening.

[00:04:37] I know it's annoying to point the finger and just say, man, if just a heat, he, she, whoever it is would just do this. Listen this way respond this way. I would have a better relationship. Then I would respond and better. I would be a better man, a better woman. And that's just not the case in the end, just like the Toyota way.

[00:04:58] Put the power back into the people [00:05:00] who actually had the real power. So too, in relationships, these principles put the power back into the person who actually has the power. And that is myself and only myself. It's all about removing waste. And this is where agile, if you ever heard of this productivity comes from it's about really trying to start small.

[00:05:18] So you don't have to waste so much. It's kind of the, that metaphor of the bigger rocket ship you spent all this time building a rocket ship and it takes off with a Thrace and it's going so fast. So intensely that you've got to have everything in place when you launch this rocket, because you cannot course correct very easily.

[00:05:37] Once that rocket is going. But if you start small, you can course correct a dramatically. It says idea trying to start small, make small changes that you can change more dramatically within my own self. So let's define what waste is, right. It's basically waste work that does not bring value to the product when it comes to Toyota.

[00:05:58]So [00:06:00] anything that does not provide value to the product or the relationship, right? What in your relationship prevents a fulfillment. Do you feel fulfilled in your relationship? If not, then there are wastes right now that need to be addressed so that you can begin to change that. And not in a way that you point the finger at someone else and say it's just them.

[00:06:19] Cause that does nothing. So psychological waste worries, anxieties about relationship, physical waste, lack of time, committed to nurturing the relationship. Right? All of these different things. But I have a huge caveat. Because my goal here is to spend the next 15, 20, maybe 30 minutes. I don't know, not to make this sound like you're going to have an efficient relationship, like the Toyota way efficient relationship suck.

[00:06:43] Right. I know that. Yeah. I'm a person who loves systems, loves checkboxes. And if you treat your spouse, which I know from firsthand experience like a checklist, then you're not in a good place. So this is not about having an efficient relationship. [00:07:00] Right. Any ways can be transformed into profound value. It can, there's nothing truly wasted, right?

[00:07:07] So we're not trying to be efficient in our relationships. Rather, we're trying to build, we're trying to build an environment that can truly flourish, get this environment ready so you can flourish in your relationship. And then all that being said, here's the kicker. The highest call of love in my opinion, is to truly quote, waste time with another.

[00:07:26]So then wait a minute, this makes no sense if I'm going to reduce waste. And then we met in the highest call of love is to actually waste time and another, this is a contradiction. And honestly it is not because what happens is, and I see this in my own life and other lives, I waste on the things that provide no value and then I'm spent.

[00:07:49]Overdrawn. I have no ability than truly to waste my time on something that's fulfilling. What I mean by this, this idea of truly reallocating your [00:08:00] waste to useful waste, right? Instead of worries, anxieties over things we're gonna talk about in just a couple of seconds to spend that time, really immersing yourself into someone else's joy when you have no joy whatsoever in that thing.

[00:08:17] Someone made love to go to the recycling center and it fulfilled, and you have no desire to do it, but the person you love is a big recycler. So you go and not begrudgingly, but enthusiastically, and it's a waste of your time because it really is something you have no interest in, but you're interested in the person who is interested in that.

[00:08:39] And now you're interested. Do you see what I mean by wasting time? That is the highest calling. It's one thing as one philosopher noted to have sympathetic love this love, or you both enjoy the mutual experience. So nice, but that's not real love. That is a raw material of love to have a nice mutual experience, [00:09:00] but when you don't have that experience, but yet you enter into that because you love that person, man, or that, that, that is love.

[00:09:06]So what is the waste in your relationships? Well, let's get right into it. So the Toyota way talks about seven and we're talking about eight waist. I'm gonna list them right now. Write them down. If you're, if you're driving, don't write them down because you're gonna get an accident. The first one is defects defects and the actual product is a waste.

[00:09:25] Obviously the second one is inventory storing up all this extra product. That's not actually being sold waste because it's just accumulating tons of costs. And sitting on shelves that have to be rented and buildings that had to be rented and hope that somebody's going to buy that product. So amatory is a waste third overproduction producing too many things.

[00:09:55] Next one waiting. This is waste that comes from spending time [00:10:00] waiting for the next process to happen. There's nothing going on. And so it's a waste. Another one is called unused talent, right? Waste due to the and utilization of people's talent skills and their knowledge. You put them in the wrong spot.

[00:10:16] Transportation of another waste ways in wasting time and resources moving crap from one place the next, all the time, shuffling things right less transportation is less waste. Motion is another one waste of time and effort related to unnecessary movements of people and last, extra processing. Wasted time and more work and higher quality than is required.

[00:10:41] Fine tune that product, make it just perfect. When an actual provided no additional value because very little people are going to notice it. That's that's you that's me trying to find the Berg font for my website, spending a month, doing it all the while nobody really cares. Okay. So those are, are the eight wastes.

[00:11:00] [00:11:00] What does that have to do with relationships? Tons. This is an awesome framework. I'm going to guide you through this for the next 10 or 15 minutes. Let's look at number one defects again. We said it's waste from a product or service that fails to meet customer expectations. There's a defect in the product itself.

[00:11:20] What about us? We come to relationships and of course we come with defects. Man, getting married has only surfaced the enormous in myriad amount of defects. I have in my own life, of course, and there's mindset. Oh my gosh, this has, this has an enormous effect. Carol deluxe book on mindset is revolutionary.

[00:11:43] If you have it, you should read it. And she divides the two people into fixed and growth mindsets. And man, a fixed mindset can just be detrimental to relationships. Oftentimes when work got a shame because we're at a fixed mine set. [00:12:00] Lack of hope having this external locus of control, thinking that it's the other world out there that oppose it itself upon us.

[00:12:07] And so I am just a victim. And so that I live my relationship that way. And that's hard. I feel like unlucky luck doesn't exist. It's about people who see opportunities in Snagit comparison. I know that that destroyed me. They can destroy relationships, how you ought to be or should be, or you should really just be like this, or I should be like this other person over here.

[00:12:32] Who's way more successful in charming anxiety, people pleasing. I know people pleasing. I am a people pleaser, which leads me to passive aggression. Or then you have a growth mindset, which is you see things as an opportunity. We go back to my 3m framework that I talk about often this idea of margin and momentum and maintenance, which is this whole package that allows you to really live the most fulfilled [00:13:00] life possible.

[00:13:00] But you need all three of these to really truly tap into fulfillment. And that first one margin it's all about establishing a deep sense of identity. Having that space to set back and know who you really are. And be able to look at life in its difficult moment and say, where's the gift in this and that challenging relationship where you just feel like, wow, what that person just said nearly destroyed me now you're at this crux.

[00:13:29] Do you choose the victim or do you choose, what does this make possible for me? So all of this being said defects as the first one. Going back to my episode, just previously to this, I talked about this idea. We have maintenance and there's the five PS and the first three, these are principles, policies, and processes or procedures.

[00:13:50] However you want to call them. And when you look at this, I want to bring back that episode because each one of these defects, I think has a counter principle and that he take it to his [00:14:00] logical inclusion. It means there's a policy and procedure as well for each one of us who maybe have a defect. For me, the principle right here in effect is the only person you can change is yourself or myself.

[00:14:13] So do not deflect that responsibility, Matt, I do this all the time. This is the principle that changes that defect and finds the gift in this and find a follow that to its logical conclusion. I would find a policy. That puts into place. My ability to address my defects in a process to actually engage them, because I know I won't take care of them, correct.

[00:14:36] Them, heal them without a step by step process. That is baby steps that makes me feel comfortable and addressing the most vulnerable parts of my life. Because then the next one is inventory, which leads into this because oftentimes we have defects because we have a lot of inventory that we're holding on to.

[00:14:55] A lot of baggage, right? He has heard this phrase before. The definition of [00:15:00] inventory in general is waste resulting from excess products and materials that aren't processed. How many of us have to go to counseling and process the crap in our lives that keep surfacing and destroying our relationships, the emotional inventory, storing up resentment, the parent wounds, the lack of forgiveness, just the pain.

[00:15:21] Here's one and inventory. Fixed on storing up quote, memories. What does that mean? This idea, especially in a technological age that we live with the camera on the iPhone. I think this, this puts a deep thing in our own soul that makes us feel like we have to find our way to construct and craft our memories.

[00:15:43] And so we missed the present moment and memories are meant to be a byproduct of a feeling life, not the focus. And here's the big thing. People, if there's one thing you take on this one, by thinking about memories, throwing up memories, trying to create them, it misses [00:16:00] the person and focuses on the experience.

[00:16:03] That's the vice, a good philosopher calls it, sympathy that we strive to create good mutual experiences, rather than actually focusing on the person. Right. It doesn't have to be. Like this kind of like either, or, but we're meant to focus on the person and not the experience. Again, the experience is the raw material of love, but not meant to be the substitution for love.

[00:16:30] Right? So we're storing up all his inventory. We're missing the actual relationship principle here. The principle then minimal is maximum fulfillment. Minimum is maximum fulfillment, a great book. Put it on your list. The paradox of choice by Barry Schwartz and how options are great. The very quickly become out of control and paralyze us.

[00:16:55] Then he talks about these two different camps of people, maximizers and [00:17:00] satisfies hers. The maximizers need everything perfect and everything done well. If it's not done perfect, they're never satisfied. And thus, you get the other camp, which is the satisfies hers. I am a satisfied, this is why I have living the real, do I know exactly what I'm doing?

[00:17:15] No, I started just three months ago. I have a conception. I have a belief I had no, I have value to give to the world and I'm just going to start, I do this because I'm satisfied with what I do and I want to grow it and make it better. And then there's the maximizers who won't actually do anything until they have 40 podcasts.

[00:17:31] Already. Plan is perfect. The best promo they have the best people on. And so they miss out on life, those who go to the restaurant and they died and have a great experience and spend 45 minutes looking over the menu, finding the best possible item to choose. And then of course he spent so much time and then their meal comes, what happens,  not as good as I had hoped.

[00:17:54] Why? Because you spend 45 minutes trying to think about what is the best item [00:18:00] on the menu, and it's never going to then amount. Do your expectations versus the one who looks, he looks at the menu, the burger looks good, gets it. Wow. That burger is incredible. There is an inverse proportion to the amount of time you invest in something and the satisfaction you get from it.

[00:18:18]So minimal is maximum fulfillment. Less really is more third one over production waste from making more product than customer demand. So how does this affect relationships? Oh, I see this all over the map, especially when you're first starting out a relationship he had put your best foot forward. You look like the Knight in shining armor you're over-producing and you're causing potential future problems.

[00:18:45] You're working to earn love. You're feeling maybe a little unlovable, so you've got to put on this best possible image. And all it does is create a huge gap. Between the expectations and the experience and the relationship. And [00:19:00] one day, those things are going to divide. And that Knight in shining armor is no longer that Knight in shining armor because they're not perfect.

[00:19:07]And you know how many times I've seen this happen, where people end up splitting up divorcing breaking up only because of the gap. Between what they expected and then what they all the sudden experienced the other person, it was too unshakable for them to continue. And so they end up breaking up now because the person was, it was a bad fit necessarily, but because simply the gap was just too big.

[00:19:35] That is really unfortunate. Again, the gap between experience and expectation. One of the first episodes I put on this gap is one of the most problematic problems. Here's another one that vexes us an overproduction, that expectations shape our experience. And I just thought about this the other day and it destroyed me because this is who I am.

[00:20:00] [00:20:00] I mean, not who I am in my identity, but this is what I can struggle with. At times I can suffer from it. And in certain relationships, It's this idea that your expectations begin to shape the experience and pigeonhole the other person in certain circumstances. So what do you lose here? I lose the sense of discovery.

[00:20:20] When you, when you allow your expectations to shape your experiences, you're no longer discovering the other person, which is regally the most important part of in the relationship. You never, never lose that because the other person is inexhaustible. Never can you determine them completely? There's something about them that is always kind of mysterious.

[00:20:42] And so that mysteriousness should be something beautiful and not a detriment to your own wellbeing. How do you deal with this one thing I love the 80 20 rule. This 20% of our effort brings about 80% of our desired results. Did you know that that 20% of our [00:21:00] effort brings about 80% of desired results? So there really is no need to overproduce.

[00:21:06] It is so much waste. So what is that 20%? I don't know for you. How do you know? Well, you get to know the person and if you're like me, who has a disc profile to high C high compliance, I love systems and I love profiles. I love tests. The Myers Brigg, the disc, the strengths finder, the Colby index, the Enneagram.

[00:21:30] I love these things. Get them use them because you'll find that 20%. Here's a great example. Read the five love languages. Know the person you love, or even your friend. What their love language is that 20% will provide at 80% reward instantaneously. Affirmation is one of them. The Harvard business school came out with a study that is a six to one compliment to criticism ratio.

[00:21:58] For every one criticism you give [00:22:00] to someone, you need to give six to sustain a relationship. If you're dealing with an affirmer, you probably need even more. And so you spend that extra time affirming them and loving them in that way. Another one is gifts. Those who love to be given gifts. Like random acts of kindness, homemade card, a letter, a thoughtful text message.

[00:22:21] These little gifts go a long way. Acts of service is kind of me. We're going out of your way just to do something for someone else when they haven't even asked for it. Quality of time, not just doing something with someone, but just having that face to face, time to be with them and to talk with them that quality time to go deep in that relationship.

[00:22:43] And the fifth and final one physical touch that affection, that romance that is need is state a relationship. We all have a priority of one over another. Knowing your other's love language can be that 20% that provides [00:23:00] an 80% impact in the relationship. So what's the principle in here. Bring the real you forward in truth and love waiting as the next one.

[00:23:09]This is waste from time, spent waiting for the next process to occur. Oh my gosh. This one hit me hard as well. Lack of communication, relationship. How, so here? I'm an avoidant. I don't like conflict. And so I wait, I sit in the background and end up becoming passive aggressive because I have a tough time sharing my negative thoughts of when I feel like I've been hurt because I'm afraid that maybe I won't be loved.

[00:23:36] When I actually say it, I won't be received. I'll be looked at differently. Here's a great example because it's so close to me that I gave a principal, a policy and then the process for, because they need this again, this is the previous episode of living the real, these are really important things to do and it takes time.

[00:23:55] You're right. But guess what important things take time to do and you don't have to do [00:24:00] all of them. You don't have to sit here and try and create all your principles for your entire life, all of your policies and all of your processes that would take forever. And it's, it's again, another, another waste.

[00:24:10] It's not, it's not lean. It's not just in time processing. It's better just to create these as they become thorns in your side. And that's it. I'm an avoidant. So my principle is trust in radical candor and authentic authenticity, trust and radical candor and authenticity. That helps me as my guiding principle that I'm still looking to do anything about it.

[00:24:31] So I have to have a policy. I must bring up what is bothering me within 48 hours of the feeling. When I recognize the feeling, because often times it might take me a while to even recognize the feeling. So that's when policy that still is not enough for me, because then I won't know how to do it because I have a tough time doing this.

[00:24:48] So has it created an incredibly small baby step process that warms me up in a way that allows me to do this in a safe way. So ninth grade step by step process and how I'm going to do [00:25:00] this. That works for me, right? Principal policy, and a process. If I just do that for this, it is a home run for me. Go back to my previous episode on the five P's of maintaining your life, unused talent.

[00:25:15] The next one waste due to underutilization of people's talents, skills and knowledge are what I thought here is compliance controllers. Studies show that highly applying individuals become this way because of their controlling relationship, which fascinated me. It's not that they're there first compliant.

[00:25:34] And then people just have to like pick up their Slack and then they stay in this compliant role where they don't do anything it's Brits because they weren't that at all. But they had controlling relationships where then they felt like they had to relinquish control and he stopped doing things and then become passive.

[00:25:52] And now are they using their talents? No, they're just being kind of subservient and they're not fulfilling their dreams that are being squished down and [00:26:00] pushed down and judged a controller needs to encourage the compliant to bring their, their gift forward. It doesn't mean the control that has to stop being a controller.

[00:26:08] It's also part of their temperament. As you learn in the Enneagram and other ones, but it can become unruly and destroy people around them. So that person that has a controller like Tennessee needs to encourage and recognize that if they're in a particular relationship with a compliant, they need to elevate the opportunities for that compliant person exacerbated to a level where encourage them to really use their talents.

[00:26:33]And it might feel so excessive for a controller. At the same time, it's barely even noticeable to a compliant. The next one, transportation wasted time resource and cost when unnecessary moving things from one thing to another, again, has that to do with relationships constantly having to move things around, to make time for another when your life is so chaotic, your calcium shifting and moving things just to squeeze some time in, how [00:27:00] do you feel that there's something wrong about this?

[00:27:01] There's a lot of waste. When life is the rule love between spouses becomes the exception and we need to flip this. That love is the rule right in life is kind of the exception that we make this the priority and everything around has to wane for the sake of keeping the most important thing alive. How do you do that?

[00:27:23] Go back to maintenance. Again, it's all about margin, momentum and maintenance. If you do not have the systems in place, even your relationships will fail. Examples, work, friendship, hobbies, personal interests, children. I have a principle here. Love between spouses has priority over love of children. How many of us get sucked into the child care syndrome?

[00:27:46] Thinking is fragile, little objects, even Britney Brown. I love her. She says that children are made for adversity. Stop babying them and coddling them and treating them as if they're the Cayman deal with the role without us, that the marriage [00:28:00] always comes first and the children come second. And that only benefits the child in the context of marriage.

[00:28:06] And if you don't, you will have no time for romance. I'm sure many of you feel that dry it's all sucked up so he can change, though. It can change the drop of the hat, change your priorities, change your principles. Change your policies. Another one's sacrifice our preferences for the, for the other, but not our values.

[00:28:26] I may value health and I'm even value running. But my preference to run at scale 7:00 AM or whatever it is when my spouse needs me the most for maybe breakfast with the kids needs to be cut. That is a preference. I can run some other time or I could shift temporarily to a different kind of exercise, but my value for health must always be maintained.

[00:28:52] And if your values are being compromised, that is a deficient relationship, but we need to know that between preferences and values, [00:29:00] the next one then is motion. This is idea of wasted time, effort related to unnecessary movements of people. How I took this in relationships is a little bit different.

[00:29:11] Because I've seen this as idea of too many expectations being placed on another person, making them feel as if they have to constantly be moving like a moving target. And they're exhausted not to be a target of so many criticisms. So they're having coffee move and shift and they're exhausted moving all over to make an obtain approval.

[00:29:33]They're constantly moving, trying to change and modify the other person because they're constant moving themselves. And they're constant trying to make this approval, jumping through hoops, to keep the relationship satisfied. This is waste, and we can not allow this to happen. And we should not do this to other people.

[00:29:52] Of course, we're going to be moody and going to be different from day to day, we still need to offer some sense of an anchor. [00:30:00] How is it going to be anchored in the principle that relationships are grounded in being over that of doing, and this is hard for men. Particularly me. We find a lot of identity in doing things we'd like to work with our spouses shoulder to shoulder, not face to face as much.

[00:30:17] So we get a lot of mean from it and that's good. And we ought to do it because we can feel connected with our spouses that way. But again, the love language, it may or may not be the principle way by which your spouse encounters, meaning and depth and value. It may be face to face just being with someone and not doing it may be a quote waste to you.

[00:30:42] That's not to the other. And if you love that person, then that waste is something you cherish. Finally, the end, extra processing, the definition waste related to more work on higher quality than is required. Overthinking in the relationship over feeling over [00:31:00] working to earn your love. It's a sign that we're out of control and it's busy at that's the case.

[00:31:06] Got to change everything. If need be to put the relationship first overthinking over feeling overworking. These are all symptoms of bigger realities and a lack of priorities, wrong principles, terrible policies, no processes whatsoever. No. What is in your control and not in your control? Again, going back to the 80 20 rule.

[00:31:30] Be satisfied and not maximized because if we are maximized, we are going to constantly be extra processing, trying to earn our love, crave it, and we're not going to get what we want in the end. Our goal is to be satisfied, to be fulfilled. I hope this helps extra processing motion, transportation, unused talent, waiting, overproduction, inventory, and defects.

[00:31:57]This is a great [00:32:00] examination of conscience to see in those areas, by which we were wasting and not having lean the love in our life to transform into something that's greater, that's deeper, that's more solid. And then reallocate our waste into something that provides value to the other one thing. Before I go, as I want to offer this to you, this may have surfaced a pain points in your life.

[00:32:24] In the context of relationships, whether it's marriage friendships and the context of employment, whatever it may be. So I want to, if you have 15 minutes to go to living the.com/survey and fill out a 15 minute survey, which should ask you about some of your patients points, because I want to know, I really want to know how I can provide value in this podcast.

[00:32:47] Am I on my website to bring a great impact into your life? The change, your pain points into something that's profitable, not necessarily financially, maybe so, but to really know [00:33:00] and see concretely, where is the gift and the circumstance, and truly be able to obtain the gift in it to have changed, to love greatly, to be more generous, but I think requires a framework to be able to get to that way.

[00:33:13] But. Everyone's different. So please go to living the real.com/survey. When you get a chance, take the 15 minutes, help me so I can help people like you. I'm picking five people will come on with a call for, for 30 minutes to help you address your pain point and to make it into something profitable, not in 30 minutes.

[00:33:33] Are we going to solve the problem who are begin to create some groundwork, some first steps to get out of the pain and into something profitable. Thank you for listening. I hope this was helpful. I have so much, I want to chew on for the next month. I hope it is for you as well. Thank you for listening to this episode of living the real.

[00:33:53] If you want to check out more information, go to living the real.com and sign up for my newsletter. If you want to support this [00:34:00] podcast, you do that at patrion.com/ltr as well as one time. Payments at Venmo and PayPal in the show notes. So you all next episode, take care. Bye bye.