Hypnocoaching for Emotional Regulation and Effortless Change (feat. Wella Jay)

For the first 48 years of my life, my only experience with hypnosis was a stage show at college.

The hypnotist told the participants they were in class. They sat looking straight ahead like they were listening to the professor. 

Suddenly the hypnotist yelled BADGER! and pointed at the ground. And all the participants freaked out and jumped up on their chairs.

It was hilarious. But I didn’t exactly associate it with healing and empowerment.

It felt kind of coercive, to be honest.

When you think about hypnosis, what comes to mind? A bearded guy swinging a gold watch? A cult leader? 😵‍💫

If so, you’re not alone.

There are so many misconceptions out there.

Which is really a shame, because science suggests hypnosis is a fast and effective way to relieve stress and anxiety. It’s also great for pain management and behavior change.

I’ve personally undergone hypnosis to help with guilt, social anxiety, and a driving phobia. And the results feel like a miracle.

And as a life coach certified in hypnosis, I’ve seen this modality help clients change faster and with less struggle.

But don’t just take it from me!

On this week’s episode of the Climb Your Mountain podcast, I’m joined by the amazing Wella Jay. She’s a past client who came to me specifically for hypnosis.

In our conversation she opens up about her experiences with hypnocoaching. We dive into:

❇️ How clinical hypnosis (the one we do in coaching) actually empowers you to take control of your own healing

❇️ What to expect in a typical hypnosis session

❇️ Why hypnosis might work better for some people than traditional “talking” methods of coaching

❇️ Debunking common myths, e.g. that it’s a form of mind control or manipulation

❇️ How hypnosis changed how we see life and ourselves (there’s definitely a spiritual benefit)

❇️ Our own experiences and results in hypnotherapy — and how it sometimes surprised us with “bonus” healing we weren’t even looking for

If you’re curious about hypnosis …

If you’ve thought about coaching, but dislike the idea of talking about yourself or answering lots of questions …

This one is definitely for you!

Enjoy! ❤️

WORK WITH SARAH

Curious about how life coaching can help you? You can schedule a free consultation by:

• Clicking here and grabbing some time on my calendar
• Emailing me at sarah@missadventurepants.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to Climb Your Mountain, the only podcast that teaches you how to use coaching, neuroscience, and mindfulness to overcome life's challenges. I'm Sarah Mauer, a certified life and performance coach, frontwork facilitator, and trans team. Each week I tell you how to change your brain fast for good and without struggle. Whether you're training to climb an actual mountain, building a business, dating, or climbing a fucking rebellion, these tools will help. Listen and learn so you can enjoy more of what you want. Happiness, fun, conviction, creativity, courage, and the occasional mountaintop moment. Ready? Let's do this. Hey friends, as I record this, we're having some wild winter weather in the USA. So wherever you are, I hope you are warm. I hope you are safe. I hope you have electricity. All is well at my house. It didn't do that much in Denver, other than really mess up our NFL playoff game. It snowed really hard for like a couple hours, just like right on that game. And then honestly, it stopped snowing. It's it's actually gonna be really nice here today. So anyway, I hope you are well. And today on the podcast, I have a real treat for you, especially if you are interested in using coaching to effortlessly change old programs and patterns. You might have repetitive thoughts that you don't like, things like I'm not good enough, or I'm not capable, that just keep coming up and getting in your way, no matter how much you talk back to them, no matter how much you coach on them. Or you might want to break an old habit that you've had forever, something like drinking coffee or smoking cigarettes, or eating food when you get home from work at night. And these are examples of coaching goals where we could talk about it consciously, and we can also coach the unconscious mind to help make these changes happen easier and faster. So here to explain to you how unconscious coaching, or sometimes we call it hypnocoaching, worked from the client's perspective is the amazing Wella J. She was a client who came to me with some past experience with hypnotherapy, and she specifically wanted to use some of the more unconscious processes in her coaching. And I was really excited about this. Being a coach certified in hypnosis, I do often blend the traditional talking approach to coaching with some unconscious work where we are relaxing, visualizing, suggesting, imagining, and just really directing our brain to make deep change. And as Wella knew it would, this unconscious approach was a perfect match for her. And she used everything we did to create some really cool results, which she is going to share with you on the pod today. And I'll also say this about her. She's such a powerful advocate of this work, and she's always encouraging others to give it a try. And I think that includes a lot of people who might not normally reach out for support. Maybe they're not big talkers or they don't like the idea of just sitting looking at someone and answering lots of questions. And I think a lot of people don't realize that they can get really powerful coaching that is really different. It's all about relaxing, listening to some cool music, and just journeying in their imagination, and it's really fun. So I am excited to have Wella on the pod today so she can tell you all about it, all about the hypnocoaching in her own words as a client. So let's dive into that conversation now. Hey, Sarah here. One more quick thing. I realized as soon as I started editing this podcast episode that both Wella and I are using the term hypnotherapy when sometimes we mean hypnocoaching, which honestly a lot of people do in normal conversation. And there's also a legal definition of therapist and regulations around who gets to call themselves a therapist, which is why I'm gonna make a quick disclaimer right here. According to the regulations of my state, a therapist is someone with doctoral level training who has the skills and knowledge to provide a very high level of mental health treatment. They can treat people who are really not functioning well, and they are usually where you start to get treatment for a mental health diagnosis like clinical depression or PTSD. And I am obligated by law to clarify right up front that even though a few times in this podcast I call my work hypnotherapy by accident, I am not a therapist. I do not have doctoral level training. I am a coach who is trained and certified in coaching modalities. And I think what's interesting here, which you may not know, is that both coaches and therapists can use hypnosis. They use it to treat different patients for different types of things, but they both use it. So when I'm saying hypnotherapy in this podcast, what I mean is hypnocoaching. And nothing in this podcast is intended to imply that I'm a therapist or that I offer therapy. Okay, so with that out of the way, let's get into the episode.

unknown 5:56

All right.

SPEAKER_01 5:57

Well, first of all, thanks for having me. Um, I am super stoked to get the opportunity to chat about something that has helped me so much in my life. And let's see, to answer your question. Uh oh man. Well, I think I've lived many lives. I think so. Um, but uh just for some background, I am originally from Switzerland, born and raised. And um I moved to the US when I was 18. Um, one of my lives that I've lived here is I spent some time in the military and worked there as a paratrooper and had an opportunity to work in a program for women working alongside special operations, which was a really um life-changing experience for me in terms of seeing the capabilities of women and really realizing that women are needed in all spaces, and balance and gender is needed in all spaces, and that we are beautiful and powerful in our own way. We don't have to like turn into men to be capable of things. Um, anyway, I had an opportunity to do that. I have um then training as a social worker. Currently I am a pilot, I am a flight instructor, and I work for an aviation nonprofit. Um but really those are just things I do, and it's not who I am. Um, who I am is somebody who really loves. We we live in Alaska now. I live in Alaska, I have two kitties that I love. Um, I have a wonderful husband, and who I am is someone who loves spending time in the outdoors, and just I really like seeing the light in other people and um having an opportunity to be ridiculous together and like expand together and just have fun because life is such a gift, and I just feel like it's so important that we enjoy these little moments together. So I love finding magic every day. That's probably my favorite thing.

SPEAKER_00 7:56

Oh my goodness, I love it. And just to give people an idea, how did you first connect with hypnotherapy and hypnocoaching? Was this something you were actually looking for? It did, or did it kind of find you?

SPEAKER_01 8:12

I um I'd say it kind of found me. So maybe for like some context, I after my one deployment that I had, I came back um from Afghanistan and wasn't doing so well for a wide variety of reasons. And I then was encouraged to seek help, which I did, and I explored talk therapy, which I know works for many, but for me it felt very jarring. And I felt like I was just repeating stories that felt traumatic to me and then not getting any tools to resolve the feelings I was feeling in my body. I also during my first talk therapy session, they immediately offered me medication to deal with the feelings I was feeling, which I found really offensive. And just to be very clear, I'm not against medication, but it just felt like I know deep in my core that I have all the tools I need to heal myself. And no one was, I just don't know how to use them. It's like someone gave you this like really cool, I don't know, high-speed computer, and you know you have it, but you have no idea what buttons do what. And I just wanted someone to show me how to use the buttons. Um, so talk therapy wasn't for me, and then I explored something. I went to a retreat um through it's called Path. Basically, um, it's called Boulder Crest Retreat is the organization. The program is called Path, and they believe in something called post-traumatic growth, which is that you can heal after trauma and basically be like the 2.0 version of yourself and heal your brain and come back. And what they teach you there are all these different techniques that may or may not align with you. So we explored nature therapy, I learned transcendental meditation, which is just a type of meditation that is comes with some in-depth training and is very helpful if you're new to meditation. Um they showed us EMDR and and just a bunch of other techniques um that were great. And I use those for a long time because I feel like whether you're a veteran in the military or somebody just in general who is experiencing suffering for whatever reasons, I think the path to healing is one where you have an opportunity to be part of your own journey versus somebody doing it for you. And that felt important to me. So these techniques were great, but and they kind of like took the edge off of what I was feeling, but I didn't I didn't really feel like everything was resolved. Like I felt like it was okay, but I really wanted to feel great. And um, yeah, and I had a complete, I think, misunderstanding of what hypnotherapy was because I remember in college, and some of you may have also experienced this in school. Sometimes they'll do like these activities, and they had a hip hypnotist come in and basically do a performance where he picked a bunch of people and then they did weird things. And it seemed like it was out of control in the sense that these people weren't doing these, maybe they were doing them voluntarily, but it just felt like he was running the show and I didn't like that. Yes. So it did not appeal to me at all. And I was like, oh no.

SPEAKER_00 11:18

I don't know about that.

SPEAKER_01 11:21

That is not for me. I mean, good for them, but that is not for me. Especially because one of my struggles is control. So I was like, so the idea of not being in control is terrifying, or what I guess I should I should correct that. It used to be terrifying. Um, and then in 2019, so a while ago, um, when I was home visiting some friends in Switzerland, one of my friends there told me about this hypnotherapist that she'd worked with, and she is somebody that I trust. And the way she spoke about it was so different than the picture I had in my mind. And she talked about how this technique felt very empowering to her, and it was something where she was in charge. And basically the hypnotherapist was there to coach her through the process, but at no point was she doing anything that wasn't what she wanted to do. And it, I just I think what I saw, and I think this is probably how this works for most things that we experience is we'll see a person and then we'll see a sudden shift in that person for better or for worse. And in her case, she was just a different person and she looked bright and she looked free. And it's not how I'd experienced her before. And I was like, I don't know what you did, but I want that. I'll take that. Yeah, so she she very she didn't she talked to me about hypnotherapy in a very open way, not pushing it on me in any way, I think, which was really key in that conversation. And I ended up uh pursuing hypnotherapy through the Swiss therapist in another country um online, and I didn't even know that was possible, but that was kind of like me dipping my pinky toe in that experience. And I think one reason why I'd also been very careful about seeking third-party help is because I am active in aviation. And for anyone who works in that field or works in the military or any any place where you have a lot of people paying attention to your physical and mental health, um, seeking help is often a huge taboo, which is a huge disservice to everybody. And I know that these systems are changing, but it that's why I went, I was like, okay, this feels safe because I can do it online, not through insurance. I'm gonna pay myself and and um I'll be and no one will know, but maybe I'll get better. And I think that kind of opened the door to hypnotherapy for me. And she was she was wonderful. I think she helped me in many ways. Um, it didn't like quite scratch the itch, but it was a new tool. And I and I learned in those journeys that I had with her, these like when I described them to friends, I'm like, it's just like a it's like a guided meditation, just a lot deeper.

SPEAKER_02 13:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:56

Um, but you're still there, and you'll be surprised at who shows up to help you. Yes, it's so surprising. Yeah, it is so surprising. Um and and I know for me, and um for me, the person that most often shows up to help me is like five-year-old me or seven-year-old me. And that's always that caught me off guard the first time that happened. Yeah, but anyway, that was a really great experience. And then um, it kind of just it was scratched the itch and it got me a little bit better, and I wasn't quite where I wanted to be, but it was like good enough for now.

SPEAKER_02 14:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:30

And then I moved, continued moving through life, and was it last year? When did I start working with you? The year.

SPEAKER_00 14:37

Gosh, I think um it might have been two years ago. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Okay. Because I gave um, I think I gave the talk at CMC in the spring, and that's how we connected.

SPEAKER_01 14:47

Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. So I had a friend who went to the CMC talk. And for anyone who's like, what is that? Um, wasn't it they were doing skiing? No, it was climbing. It was scrambling, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:58

It's like climbing without ropes, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:00

Exactly. And I believe you they had hired you to show up there and and do like maybe a guided short version of yeah, kind of deal with anxiety, yeah, little toolkit kind of presentation.

SPEAKER_00 15:11

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 15:12

Yeah. So, and my friend Emily, she's one of my best friends, and she came back and she's like, Well, I have to tell you about this lady. And I don't know, something about how she spoke about you and how what you were offering made her feel, made me feel like I wanted to explore that because I think what I experienced with my Swiss hypnotherapist was that there was a bit of I grew up speaking German, but the processing that I was doing was happening in my head in English.

SPEAKER_00 15:42

Oh, wow.

SPEAKER_01 15:42

And so I was having a really hard time finding the words in German to explain to her what was happening in my head in English, which sounds really it was just like it wasn't quite working. And I was like, I'd really like to work with somebody who does the same work in English, um, but I don't know how to find them. And so I just kind of like put that into the universe. And then about a year later, Emily came up and was like, you should explore Sarah. I mean, yeah. Um, yeah, and I'm so glad I did. And yeah, so hypnotherapy with you, Sarah, has just been so incredible for me. And I know that obviously for everybody, the connection that you have with people is going to be different, like Sarah's, and for everybody, just like how any other therapist isn't for everybody. But if if she is for you the way you are for me, um, it was just such an incredible experience. What I well, my experience was that you're just very tuned in to the people that you're working with, and you do such an incredible job listening, you listen really well. And I think my favorite thing was that you do this thing that I now apply everywhere in my life, and you you instead of asking someone to do something, you always ask questions. You're like, I wonder if, and how about? And how you know, like everything's a question. And so for me, when somebody says, I think you should do this, then immediately like a wall comes up, and I'm like, No, I will not do that. I will do exactly the opposite. Even if I know it's good for me, I will do, I will never do that. Like, there's this little gremlin living inside of me that just has determined, like, no. And so the way that you present information, because it's always a question, it means it's one, my brain's curious, but two, it's always an option. And so immediately that made me feel like I was in charge of my own healing journey, which I think is key in all of this, and which is why I think I've become such a big fan of hypnotherapy, but also specifically working with you, because it's like you're a guide to show people the magic that's inside of them. And then what really stood out to me and what helped me was that all of our brains are different, and instead of having you be like, you need this and this and this technique, you just told me that we were going to figure out my brain and what works for me. Yeah, and so I felt like someone was listening to me. I felt like you saw me for who my who I was and how my brain worked, and then we just explored things together. But throughout all the sessions, I could tell you, oh, this is working for me and this is not working for me. And if I said it wasn't working for me, you didn't seem to have any attachment to what I was saying. So, like if it was I felt comfortable to say no, which sometimes because of my upbringing, I think I really struggle to express when something doesn't serve me. But you feel like a safe space to me where I can express that, and then you have no attachment to the answer. You're just like, sweet, let's go try something else. I'm like, oh my God.

SPEAKER_00 18:36

We're not doing that anymore. That's next.

SPEAKER_01 18:39

Yeah. And I think I mean that's key to having a good guide, but that's really what it's felt like to me. It's just like you're just a friend and a guide who's helping me figure out this cool brain that I have, and then figuring out what I can use in a certain situation to help myself. But this whole journey has felt like I've healed myself. And obviously it's a continuous thing, but yeah, Sarah's badass, you guys. Try it out.

SPEAKER_00 19:04

Well, that was amazing. That actually answered about like the next three questions I was going to ask you. So thank you for just yeah, all of that. Yeah. When you say Sarah is badass, I will also say Wella is badass. And just I think this is kind of interesting for people to hear about hypnotherapy. Like, really, as you're doing sessions and doing more sessions, like the big thing is just like learning how to go into your trance better and to go in deeper and get more in touch with your unconscious. So, one of my favorite things about working with you was you came with some experience. This was not all new to you. And I remember our very first session, and it was so I almost laugh when I think about it because we went through a process and it was like the one where you just kind of talk to your wise advocate, which is the embodiment basically of your unconscious. It's the part of you that knows more. And I kind of set it up for you. And I'm like, walk through the door, what's there? You're like, it's my five-year-old self. And she has a raven on her shoulder, it's so cool. And I was like, okay, you know, like you can ask her questions. And then, like, literally, I've never seen anyone do it for so long. You sat there for probably like 15 minutes in silence, and we're just like doing the work in your brain. And I was kind of like checking in. I'm like, how is it going? And you're like, it's great. I'm like, are you finished? You're like, no, no. And I'm like, no remote, take your time. And I really just, I'm like, this is the strangest experience to just sit here and sip my coffee. And she is going through like this profound experience in her own brain. And just like getting you when we we talked about it like after, I was like, wow, she got so much out of this little scenario, this little journey. And I just thought that that was magical. And I also want to offer that's like possible for everyone. I think like most people, if they do a lot of hypnotherapy, will get to the point where you can like really be like so in charge of your own journey and your what you want to get out of it. And obviously, like what's coming through is always kind of a surprise very often. But I just thought that that was that was so cool. That was you were just like a dream to work with. I was like, she is really, really, really good at this.

SPEAKER_01 21:31

Oh, thank you. Yeah, I think, and maybe for a perspective for people that are listening, I think there is no such thing as being like good or bad at hypnotherapy. I think I was just at a place where I was ready to surrender. Yeah. And really, I think in order to get to this space, so the one she was describing, it's my favorite exercise. I know there are many different exercises to go through and different people align with different things, but my favorite one is the going downstairs and going to the door and seeing. What's on the other side. And that five-year-old you're describing, that was, I mean, that memory will stay with me forever because it was so beautiful. And um, I got to we for context for anyone's listening. I did have she had a little raven on her shoulder, and we walked out into outer space together and sat on a mini moon that had a flower. And then we talked, she she dropped some knowledge, really. I was just listening. I was there to be educated. Um, but yeah, I say all that to say that we all have that in us. I don't think this is something like you're saying, Sarah, it's not uniquely reserved for one person. And what helped me get to that space is a trust in myself. And I think in the world that we live in today, there's so much focus on the external between what people tell us we should be doing, what especially with the influence of social media and the news. And I think even the medical system tells us that we have to rely on an outside person to tell us how we feel, even though we're all living in our bodies like we're the experts of this little earth suit that we live in. Really, no one else knows truly what's going on inside of us. So I think a lot of it is just trust. And I you created an environment where I was able to relax. So Sarah does a really fantastic job of getting you to not, she doesn't force you to relax, but in our case, we did we use great music. Like right now, like it's no force. Why have you not surrendered? Come on. Um, but yeah, I think you do there's a little bit of magic somewhere, like maybe you're part pixie, I'm not sure. But like there's a little bit of magic with how you use your music. It just felt like the music was always happening at the right time and the right tone that I needed. And I think that is something that or it's you know worth exploring, a hypnotherapist that you aligned with. It needs to be someone that you trust. So I felt deep trust for Sarah with Sarah. And then um, so the music was great, but also the breathing exercises we did just allowed me to let go of any inhibitions that I had. And that allowed me to get into the space that we went into, and also the fact that you were never told me what to do. It was always my choice. So, all that to say, for anyone's listening who's like, oh, I'm curious about this, or maybe I haven't had this experience, it's available to everyone. It's not a forced thing, it just happens when you trust, when you are able to trust yourself and know that the magic you seek is already within you and all the answers you need are already within you, and then you're not going to find them outside. I think that's when the door opens. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:36

Oh my gosh, thank you so much for sharing that perspective. And that's a great clarification because I think a lot of people look at hypnosis and the hypno coaching specifically, and they're like, oh, like that wouldn't work on me. And I am such a big believer that it really is for everyone. It really does work for everyone. And especially if someone is new, if they're unsure, if they're wanting to try it, but wondering, you know, is it really for me? I'll kind of tell you the other side. So you heard a little bit about working with Wella, who's quite experienced at working with the unconscious. And it's also fine to be someone who has never had that experience. And we take it very slow. We do a lot of talking ahead of time. A lot of people come in, and exactly like you described, with uh with the stage hypnosis in college. That was also my only experience with hypnosis. And I remember it was really funny. It was one of my favorite like little shows or activities that I saw in college. But it really was like very vastly different from what we do in a therapeutic sense. Like my big memory of it was there was they had every the maybe like 10 people on stage and they hypnotize them and then they like kind of run them through like we're we're at school, we're having a normal day. Oh my gosh, a badger is coming, and they all scream and like jump up on their chair. And I think that's like everyone's experience with it. And really, what is so different about it is it really is very empowering. You are in charge. And we will my my big goal with hypnotherapy is just to always like make sure you feel that way from the beginning. We're going slow. A lot of times in the first few sessions, we'll talk a lot during the session. Um and I'll just kind of like walk you through and just make sure you feel safe and that everything that's happening is expected. And also, we do a couple, um, especially with people that are newer, tests at the beginning. So you can really see that even though your mind is relaxed and open and open to suggestion, you're also still very much in control and in control of everything that's happening. So thanks so much for sharing that. That was that was like a great perspective. And I love that you you were you have that perspective, even as someone who's now really quite experienced with it. So we talked a little bit about going down the stairs to the door, and I'm curious, were there any journeys or processes or things that we did that were favorites of yours?

SPEAKER_01 27:14

Oh, 100% the one where we go down the stairs. Yeah. Yeah. Because I think um I just always had different guides that showed up, although it's usually my five-year-old self. But that just felt so, I think that felt so magical to me because the journey and what was waiting on the other side was always different. So sometimes it was a Hobbit door. One time I went into a jungle, like it one time I was in the mountains and there was a bear and there was an eagle. Like it I and I just felt like it felt magical and it felt like it was part of me that was giving me guidance, but it was also something much bigger than me. And I think it was my favorite experience because I felt like I could completely surrender to that and be open and curious. I felt a little bit magical, so I felt like I was my own little fairy tale. And the like again, the music that you play is very helpful, and the information that I received at the time was always what I needed to hear for that day or that week. Yeah, that was all really helpful. But it's definitely my favorite exercise because I think, especially as adults, we're so stuck in this fabricated experience of life where we're supposed to be in a certain role. We definitely don't play, you know, at least most times. And that's that has changed in my life as a result of these experiences. So because I've had experiences where I get to be childlike and I get to play and I get to relax and see things that feel like they're from a fairy tale, it has translated into my life because I realized that is available to me in my everyday life. I've just been listening to what I the narrative of society of how I'm supposed to behave as an adult. And really that doesn't feel true to me. So that experience personally was helpful just because it opened up things in my brain, but then also translated into my life. And I now feel like I live a very magical life for me. Not not for anybody. I don't show it to anyone, but I just feel like I walk through this land of wonder every day and I love it. And that is a direct result of um the hypnotherapy experiences I had with you.

SPEAKER_00 29:21

Oh my gosh, that is so amazing. Like, who don't want that? I feel something kind of similar, having had a lot of hypnotherapy. It's like I I kind of like can move through like daily life and I'm like, this is happening, that's happening. It's not like I'm unaware of the daily grind. And I'm also like so connected to like the miracle of it. And I'm gonna get emotional even thinking about it. I'm like, holy shit, I'm here, like doing these things. I just like wrote a big email about like, I am like the like the dream of like my grandmothers and my ancestors, and I makes me so emotional to think about. And I think like that is something that I feel so much more having done the hypnotherapy, having like just connected to like a bigger part of myself and integrated it in like like there's such a sense of wonder in the moment, even when stuff is like really shitty. I'm like, it's still like such a miracle.

SPEAKER_01 30:25

It is. Oh, it's so beautiful. Yeah, yeah. I think I feel the same as you're feeling, or those like these wellings of emotions. And it's I think what hypnotherapy allows us to do is kind of break away a little bit from the everyday and realize that we're all part of something bigger. And whether that is, you know, whether you're religious or not, or believe in the universe, or don't, it doesn't really matter. But there is inevitably like some larger energy swirling around. And I think what you were describing of feeling the connectedness to your people, you know, in previous in your previous life or like your grandmother and ancestors, I really think that's true. Like it feels like a group effort, these these sessions.

unknown 31:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:06

Like group efforts, it's you, but also there's something bigger helping out. Yes. And it's awesome. I just feel very um, it made me feel very taken care of. And like I had these guides that lived within me or around me that even in my if I'm in this like waking state and walking through life and not in in hypnosis, I it's still real and they're still here. And so it also creates this feeling of not being alone and being part of something much bigger, which is really beautiful.

SPEAKER_00 31:35

Oh, I love that. Yeah, like it's almost like like it is like it's so weird how I think about like my guides that show up in hypnotherapy all the time now. Like it, it's so it's interesting because it used to be my 50-year-old self that was coming to me when I was like 48, 49. So now I'm 50. And I'm like, I'm not that exact person, but I man, I'm a lot closer than I probably would be if I hadn't done all of this. So I I'm like curious to see like how that's gonna evolve and what shows up. But it like I think about her all the time. Like, I'm like like this future version of me and how I think of myself, like how the higher self, how I want it all to turn out. And it makes it so easy just to kind of bring her to everything. I'm like, well, how would she deal with this issue I'm having, like with my veterinarian who like changed my pet's prescription and charged me six times as much, like without telling me. Yeah. Yeah. It's like you can bring it to everything. It's it's amazing.

SPEAKER_01 32:36

Am I allowed to ask questions on this? Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 32:40

Ask away.

SPEAKER_01 32:42

Um, my question was I'm curious, and I feel like other people listening may be curious as well. But like I mentioned before, I feel like you have this gift of really tuning into people when you see people, like you see them fully for exactly who they are, and you somehow tap into what it is that they need in that moment. And I was curious to know from your perspective, like, I don't necessarily how do you do that, but I'm kind of asking like what how do you experience the session from yours perspective? Like, how do you know what to say? I'm not, I guess I'm not asking for instructions, but I'm just curious to know your process.

SPEAKER_00 33:18

Yeah, I'm so happy to talk about that. And that's so emotional for me to hear. And I really receive that like with a lot of joy because and I think this is actually why it's true. I grew up in a family like where I was always told that I was selfish, that I was kind of a weirdo, that I wasn't like tuning into other people enough. And I think that that was a bit like self-serving on the family's part. I was kind of like supposed to be the caretaker in the family, and I wasn't always doing a good job of it. And I think like that made me be like, oh my gosh, I gotta do better at listening to people. So hence I'm like so like far the other way now. And it's so interesting to think about because it was something that was kind of a wound, but it ended up being really helpful in what I do now. And I still pick on myself for it. I let I like habit so much time, especially this past week or so where I've been sick and not feeling good. And I'm like, I'm missing things and the listening, and I should have jumped right on that. And it's like you you never, yeah, you never give yourself credit, right? For like the things that you that you do well. I'm the same way. But um, yeah, as far as the process, I feel like with hypnocoaching, especially, you said something when you were talking about like your own like journey trying to get help after your deployment, about just like really wanting to use your whole brain, like use the whole machine and really tap into the potential of it and the healing potential of it. And that really is like kind of how I always think of it. Like there's some statistic, like we only use 5% of our brain, even though the other 95% is available to us. We just we kind of need some help like accessing it. And honestly, the other 95% is like where there's a lot of good stuff stored, like a lot of resources, a lot of helpful things. So I'm always like coming into it, like looking at people. And this is also something you learn in coaching school. I'm like, no one is broken. Everyone is just kind of this miracle that has like all the answers inside them already. And we're just gonna use these processes to kind of make it easier to kind of take down, we call it the critical faculty, which is the part of your brain that's like, like kind of like the part you were saying that's like telling you to be a grown-up and do your work and focus and pay attention. And in order to access all that other stuff, you kind of gotta not do that. You kind of just gotta like surrender and give permission to your brain just to go where it goes. Like a lot of times with um hypnotherapy, it really is just about like how do we get someone in a place where they're able to relax, they're able to quiet down all that crap in their mind that's telling them how to, all the programming, right? All the stuff that's like how to adult and how to be a good person, quote unquote, when honestly, that's not who they are. Yeah, it just really is a process of kind of like I love the tools of hypnotherapy because it's just all about like helping people like relax into themselves and access all that stuff. And then, like you said, there's so much self-trust that sometimes has to be built at the beginning. So every time I'm working with someone new, I'm just kind of like watching like where it's you know, everybody like runs into blocks where they're like, yeah, I just don't completely like trust myself on this or this feels hard. And we just kind of like piece by piece, like work through that, build that self-trust muscle so they can not only access that stuff, but trust that stuff. And once they trust that they can do it and that it's going to be helpful and that they can really trust like what comes out of their own brain, they actually will get so much more out of it and higher quality stuff, so it tends to kind of self-reinforce from there. So yeah. Does that answer your question? That's that's a little inside inside baseball for you with the hypnocoaching.

SPEAKER_01 37:14

Thank you. Yeah, no, that helps a lot. Thank you. Yeah, no, um, I was also just thinking of two things that feel important to mention that are they're on topic. They have to do with hypnotherapy, but sure decided to get yeah. One thing I wanted to share about my experience with with hypnotherapy that I thought was really interesting. And I think you explained it to me and like how we how hypnotherapy works or why it works. But basically, what I got out of it was that you have an experience, something happens in our lives, and that creates this like pocket of energy in our brain. And from that, because of the thing that happened, let's say it's something negative. I'll say I'll use an example from my life. I've had a negative experience that has told me because of that, that I cannot trust people, I cannot trust men specifically. And then as a result, to then feel like I have to protect myself, it's like this pathway is created in my brain that requires me to do certain things to give me the sense that I am safe. And yeah, and so along the way on that pathway, I pick up habits, and maybe some of the habits are like for me, it was stepping into my masculine energy. I decided from a very young age, I needed to embody the energy of a man because men are unsafe. So if I am one, then I can protect myself. And then that came with you know masculine activities, and I'm not saying that these are bad things, but that's just this is how it expressed itself in my life. But then also I took on habits, and like one of my habits for me that wasn't serving me, but was I think on the same pathway was drinking coffee. And it really just gives me a tremendous amount of anxiety.

unknown 38:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 38:49

Um, so anyway, so we do this. Um, I started doing hypnotherapy with Sarah and didn't fully understand this pathway strategy yet. But like basically, that there's a source, and from there there's a branch, and on that branch, different things grow.

unknown 39:01

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 39:01

Um so it's all connected.

SPEAKER_02 39:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:03

So we do this for a session. And at this point, I had been trying to give up coffee for a really long time because I knew it didn't serve me, it gives me heart palpitations, it gives me anxiety, but I like the flavor. But it's I really don't, I didn't used to like the flavor. So it's just like this habit and behavior I've taken on. And so I had this routine where I would go to the flight school I was instructing at and training at. And afterwards, if I had a specific, you know, if I had a really hard lesson, then my treat was to go to McDonald's and get one of those iced, what are they called, iced vanilla or iced caramel coffees. Yeah. The really big ones.

SPEAKER_02 39:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:38

Um, that was my treat. Nice. And it was like it was a pathway that I had, and just coffee in general represented a treat for me, even though how I felt afterwards was awful. It made no logical sense. Like, I, if I was a person watching me, you'd be like, why are you doing this? Like you have an allergic, I have an allergic reaction to coffee, get a rash. Like, what is happening? This is literally hurting you in every way. But I want it. I want it. Something in me one of it. Anyway, so we had this session, the first one that you mentioned. And I remember going to flight uh to the flight school and finishing the sessions that I had. And but yeah, I remember driving back from this particularly hard, I think it was a lesson that I had. And usually I go straight to the McDonald's because there's one on the way to get my coffee. Yeah. And I drove past it and was driving home. And it wasn't until I was halfway home that I realized I hadn't gotten the coffee. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Like, what? What just happened? Because I caught me so hard when I was like, that's just my routine. It was such a pathway that I created and a thing that I did. And then the next day I did something, and then my habit would have been to get a coffee, and I just didn't. And it wasn't because I was actively trying not to do it. I wasn't, yes, it wasn't like trying to quit a habit. Yeah, it just happened.

SPEAKER_00 40:53

That's so wild. It was like the best outcome.

SPEAKER_01 40:58

And and I remember asking you about that and being like, what just like does this have to do anything to do with the other thing? Yeah. And you know, who knows why? Coffee appeared on the same pathway that was connected to this core energy that I had in my brain. Yeah. But when the energy dissolved, and I don't even know what memory was dissolved. I just know that me talking to my younger self dissolved something.

unknown 41:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 41:19

And then with that, the things that were on that pathway went away. Because there were a couple other habits I had. Oh, the other one was making lists. I'm I was a very big list person. I would make a list for everything and have to do. And I just stopped making them. And I didn't notice until about a weekend because I have this notebook that I use for my lists, and I hadn't opened the notebook. And I was like, that's strange. Because it was such a big part of my life. Like, how could you go through a day without having a list? And then you would check the list, you know, I'd check the boxes at the end of the day to show myself what I had accomplished, and that was just gone. Wow. Um, wow. And so I say yeah, I say all that to say it's like it's all connected and it doesn't, it's all kind of gabbledygook too. Like it doesn't all necessarily make sense. Um, and I think that was one takeaway I had from hypnotherapy as well. Like I came to you thinking, um, I came to you because I was trying to go through the rest of my aviation ratings and I was trying to finish my master's. Those were my intentions to get there. Yeah. And I had a complicated relationship to food. So I thought, like, this is what we're working on.

unknown 42:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 42:16

And I thought the way a session worked is that I would come in and say, today I'd like to work on XYZ.

unknown 42:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 42:22

And I think what I loved about it is there's this surprise factor because you think you're going to be doing one thing, and then you go into these exercises. And you know, Sarah's mentioned one of them, but they're like a million different exercises that exist. This was just this the death, the stairs one and opening the door one is just my personal favorite because that's how my brain responds. But I felt like what I actually got out of the session was not at all what I thought I was coming, it wasn't what I was showing up for, what I thought I needed, but it was exactly what I needed in that moment. And it dissolved. I was, it just felt like for me it was pockets of energy that were dissolving. Because at no point did I really ever have to have. I think that's the other thing I love about hypnotherapy. I've never had to relive an experience. Yeah. So it was like all I was tapping into was an energy that was stuck in my body as a result of a thing that happened. But I didn't have to go back and I didn't have to tell you about it and be like, well, this one time, and then relive it. It was just like the energy existed in my brain somewhere and the habit existed in my brain.

SPEAKER_02 43:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 43:18

And then you would help me relax into a state where I was open.

SPEAKER_02 43:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 43:23

And then I would do the work with whatever guide I had. Yeah. And then I'd come out and then poof, and certain things would just disappear.

SPEAKER_02 43:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 43:30

Um, it's like magic. It's magic. No, it is 100% magic. It's it's fantastic. And it's like you're in charge. Yeah. To the point you were making earlier, it's like once you realize you can trust yourself in a setup like that, then you realize you can trust yourself in other areas of life. Yeah. And I don't think you know, issues don't just resolve themselves, they'll rear their head again. And it's not like I've never ever had coffee ever again. But um these pathways have just really kind of disappeared. And Now I have a choice and I have this opportunity to pause before I do something. Whereas before I didn't feel like I had that opportunity. So I do think it's magic. And I think it's also very exciting. So if there are any adventurous souls out there who are like, Yeah, I love adventure, this is for you because you never know what you're gonna get. Like you might go in there thinking, you know, but you have no idea, and it's just gonna be a big surprise.

SPEAKER_00 44:22

It is so true. I love that you said that about the adventurous people, because I feel like that's so true. It is like an adventure. And honestly, I feel like it's like a lot of people feel a little bit of apprehension around it. And like, I love that we've had this talk today because I think you've really like been able to demystify it and been like it is like so supported and empowering, like it's not like I think like one of our preconceived notions around hypnosis are. I had a similar experience, like what you're describing. I think this is really common. And it's maybe a subject for another podcast, but there's a whole scientific idea about how our brain stores information and different things are connected in a neural network. And whenever you shake it's it's you shake up like and knock down like part of that network, it's like dominoes and other things fall. So when you were talking about coming in to work on something with your younger self and like working, and then like all of a sudden you're not drinking coffee, which is something you weren't even consciously working on. This is so common in my experience. The first time this actually happened, like in my very first hypnosis session, I went to work on just feeling a lot of guilt around like family stuff and not doing enough for elderly parents. And it definitely helped a lot with the guilt. And then I also had all my life kind of struggled a bit with social anxiety and just felt like I'm weird, I'm awkward, I'm strange, I'm bizarre. And it kind of made me like a little bit quiet in myself, especially in social situations. Also led to me drinking a lot in social situations because it was the only way I could loosen up. And like two days after the hypnosis session, I'm at like a bar and I'm with like a like it was like a hiking meetup that we went to. So we all went out afterwards. Yeah, there was just a guy I had just met, and I'm telling him this really long, like overly complicated story. And in the middle of it, I'm like, he is so bored with this. Like it kind of hit me. And then I was like, I don't fucking care. I want to tell this story. I'm gonna tell it all the way to the end. Like, just with like, and I was like, what was that? Like, that is not the me I know. So I really think that was also from the hypnosis. Like it kind of worked on the guilt, but then the social anxiety was in the same network. So when the guilt went, it kind of knocked down the other thing too. And it's so cool. Yeah, it's it's the most bizarre and magical and awesome thing. Like when you have the unintended results in yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 46:58

And yeah, our ranger is so cool. It's like they make sense and and they're still a big mystery to us, and it's yeah, interesting how we hold pockets of things. So I love that that happened.

SPEAKER_00 47:08

I love it. And thanks for so much for bringing that up. I had like not even thought to talk about that, but oh my gosh, like one of the best parts of hypnotherapy that people should know. Yeah, well, I know we're coming to the end of our hour here. I just thank you so much for coming, sharing your experience. I think it's gonna be so helpful for people who are maybe looking for something a little bit different. Like, like you said, like talk therapy can feel like really confronting. And sometimes this is exactly what's perfect. But a lot of people just have like connotations like going to the stage show in college. So I hope you've like really like opened up the possibility that this is something that could be like really empowering for people, that it might be something they want to give it a try. So I think you're just doing like such a great service by being here. And I thank you for talking so openly from from the heart about it.

SPEAKER_01 48:02

Oh, thanks. Yeah, thanks for having me. And yeah, thank you for helping me get to where I am today. I really appreciate it.

SPEAKER_00 48:09

You're amazing. So I know I feel like we need to catch up more, so we should set another time.

SPEAKER_01 48:16

Yeah, I talk about this all the time. I'd love to.

SPEAKER_00 48:18

Yes, so freaking good. Well, thanks again for being here, and yeah, good luck with everything you're doing. It just sounds amazing.