Alleviate Suffering by Changing Your Perspective

It can’t have escaped your notice that we are living through some pretty crazy times. 2020 will definitely go down in history as a year of uncertainty, unpredictability and unprecedented change; a year when the very foundations of our lives were seriously challenged.

If, like me, you’re living in the UK then you’re not just heading into winter, with its short, dark, cold days but also a second lockdown with serious restrictions on our daily lives.

This extraordinary mix of gloomy circumstances has the potential to seriously mess with our mental and emotional health. 

So, what can we do to support ourselves?

In this podcast, I go through six powerful  mind hacks that can help you to stay calm and poised. 

We may not be able to change our outer world but we can certainly all take charge of our inner world. 

This is where our real power lies. 

Thanks for listening!

You can discover more about my work on my website: https://www.harinderghatora.co.uk

Follow me on Instagram for free information on healthy, balanced living: https://www.instagram.com/harinder_ghatora/

Transcript

Alleviate Suffering by Changing Your Perspective 

 Hi, it’s Harinder here, holistic life coach and counsellor, helping you to bring peace and balance back into your life.

Now, it can’t have escaped your notice that we are living through some pretty crazy times. 2020 will definitely go down in history as a year of uncertainty, unpredictability and unprecedented change; a year when the very foundations of our lives were seriously challenged.

If, like me, you’re living in the UK then you’re not just heading into winter, with its short, dark, cold days, but also a second lockdown with serious restrictions on our daily lives.

This extraordinary mix of gloomy circumstances has the potential to seriously mess with our mental and emotional health. 

The human psyche likes predictability, autonomy and control.

It does not like uncertainty, restriction and powerlessness.  These things incite fear, anxiety and even depression.

Now, if we’re not careful, the next few months could prove to be difficult.

So, what can we do to support ourselves?

Well, we can utilise an amazing ability that we uniquely have as humans, and that is our ability to challenge and redirect our own thoughts. 

When life feels a bit crazy and I notice my inner world starting to descend into a lower frequency I use this simple little trick. 

I try and actively shift my perspective.  

The first thing I do is remember my past experiences.

I’ve been through some dark emotional times when I was younger and, quite frankly, nothing I’m experiencing now even comes close to how I felt back then. 

When I cast my mind back, I gain confidence in my ability to deal with the present moment because I know I‘ve been through far worse. That instantly makes me feel better and more resilient.

Perhaps you can spend some time thinking about the past and the difficult situations and experiences you’ve successfully overcome. 

We are all way stronger than we think we are. That inner strength is what is going to get us through these current testing times. 

The second thing I do is remind myself that everything is constantly changing. Time and circumstances never stand still. 

There are four little words that, whenever I remember them, always help take some pressure off my mind. These are “This, too, shall pass.”

I’m not sure who came up with this powerful little saying. Some people believe it comes from a fable written by Persian Sufi poets, whilst others credit it to Jewish folklore and say that it originated from King Solomon. 

This short, enlightening sentence always reminds me that whatever I’m going through in this present moment is temporary. 

Life plays out in cycles, and time, slowly but surely, passes. Bad times come and then they go. 

We all know that winter is definitely going to pass – and this pandemic will eventually pass too. 

We only have to hang in there for a certain period of time before life will improve and a more positive experience will come along. 

The third thing I do is take a helicopter view; I zoom out, and keep zooming out, until my perspective and my feelings shift. I ask myself: is what I am going through now going to be an issue in a week? (yes it is)… a month? (yes) … a year? (I’m not sure) … or a decade? (probably not).

Is this issue going to be troubling me for the rest of my life? I highly doubt it.

I personally hold a belief about reincarnation so sometimes I even ask myself if this situation is going to be a concern in a few lifetimes from now? 

This answer to this question is always ‘no’.

I have yet to discover an issue that doesn’t lose its negative hold over me when I start thinking from the vantage point of eternity! Everything takes on a new level of irrelevance from this perspective. 

If I reflect on my place in the cosmos, it appears that, at the end of the day, my life is actually pretty insignificant in the grand scheme of things – and so am I.

Is it really worth stressing over the little things when my entire life wouldn’t even register as a flash of light on the continuum of human existence observed over time? 

If I continue to see things from higher and higher vantage points, I soon arrive at the understanding that I’m not really that important and things don’t really matter as much as I would like to think so. This always helps to take the pressure off. 

Fourthly, I remind myself that my feelings are transitory. 

Have you noticed how you can feel down one minute and then feel perfectly fine the next? Emotions really are ‘energy in motion’. They arise, work their way through the body, and disappear. That is, if we allow them to. 

I now know that I don’t have to get caught up in the ebb and flow of my feelings if I choose not to. Unlike when I was younger, I’ve figured out that the human mind is good at making a problem out of nothing so, unless, a feeling is persistent and recurring, I try not to mentally dwell on it for too long. I observe it and let it work its way through the body. I focus on my breathing. I take my attention to my feet, ground myself, and wait until the emotion passes.  And, it always does. 

Fifthly, I try and look at the situation from a different angle.

If there is one thing I’ve learnt from my training and client work it’s that two people will never see the world in the same way. We all have our own unique take on ‘reality’, so much so that I believe reality doesn’t even exist outside our own minds. 

How I perceive the world is dictated by my thoughts, beliefs and history. 

How you perceive the world is dictated by your thoughts, beliefs and history.

In times of distress this knowledge is quite liberating. If I see the world differently to the next person then, when life is getting difficult, it’s likely that someone else would perceive my predicament in an entirely different way. 

What, for example, would the person with a terminal illness make of my current concerns?

What would someone whose house has just been decimated by the recent earthquake in Turkey make of my worries? 

No matter how bleak life feels there is always going to be someone out there in the world that would give anything to live the life I do. I just have to remind myself of that every now again.

That neatly takes me the last tactic – and that is to force myself to verbalise what I am grateful for. 

I’m sure you’ve heard of all the benefits of keeping a gratitude journal and how it can prove to be a powerful way of redirecting your focus and upgrading your frequency.  This hack is kind of the same thing but much more forceful. I state what I am grateful for out loud and I carry on doing it until I feel my energy has shifted to a positive level. 

So right now, I am grateful for my MacBook – it’s allowing me to read my script. 

I am grateful to the creators of Audacity who have given me access to a wonderful software that’s allowing me to record my voice. And, it’s free. 

I am grateful for my big warm fluffy socks because the floor is cold and they are keeping me snug.

I am grateful I’m sitting in a chair with a comfy cushion. I could be having to sit on the floor.

I am grateful for the fire which is making my room feel and look cozy.

I’m grateful to my Dad and brother who fitted the new fireplace.

I’m grateful for my husband – he’s just made me a cup of tea.

I’m grateful for my children who are my biggest cheerleaders.

I’m grateful I’m living in the UK. I could have been born in North Korea.

I could go on like this all day but I’m sure you get the picture. 

This exercise has the potential to shift a person’s perspective very very quickly. It takes the mind by the hand and forces it to seek out and appreciate all the positive things in life; things we can easily ignore or take for granted. 

Our current situation will lighten up at some point. In the meantime our job is to make sure we don’t let the doom and gloom bring us down. I love this quote by the wise and gentle American Buddhist nun, Pema Chodron. She says and I quote: 

“It isn’t the things that happen to us in our lives that cause us to suffer, it’s how we relate to the things that happen to us that causes us to suffer.”

This is good news because it means we all have the potential to change how we perceive the things and situations that upset us. Who was it that said, 

“Pain is inevitable but suffering is optional”?

 I hope this episode has given you some food for thought. I’d love to hear your thoughts. 

If you enjoyed listening, then don’t forget to subscribe so that you don’t miss any future episodes. Also, head on over to my website and subscribe to my mailing list for more free information on healthy balanced living. There’s a link in the show notes. 

Stay safe and, like me, when it all gets too dark and depressing let your mind drift to and daydream about the longer days of spring, with daffodils and blossom on the trees, and even further along to the long, balmy days of summer.  

 So, remember, take good care of yourself, because we both know that if you don’t, no-one else will. 

 Bye for now.