Well...Basically
Well...Basically
175: Protein Bar Power Rankings
Are protein bars really the ultimate convenient snack or just a glorified candy bar? Join Mike de Silva and Sam Weeks as they tackle this question head-on in our latest episode. Discover the intricate world of protein bars as we rank popular brands from S to F, indulge in some ASMR sampling, and share lighthearted banter about technical mishaps and pet antics along the way. From the s'mores-flavored Quest Bar to the Musashi High Protein option, we break down their taste, texture, and nutritional value to guide you in your protein snack choices.
Ever wondered if a protein bar can serve as a meal replacement or if it’s best left for post-workout munchies? We dive into this debate, sharing our personal insights and experiences. The episode takes an unexpected turn with a taste test of a pineapple-flavored collagen jelly bar, sparking mixed reactions but earning a surprising high rating. We also explore the fascinating origins of various brands, market trends, and the psychology of food relationships, making this an episode packed with both fun and valuable information.
Plus, we read a touching letter from a listener named Tash, who shares how our podcast has been a beacon of support in her fitness journey. Wrapping up the episode on a humorous note, we discuss a cat’s peculiar protein snack preferences and the whimsical idea of letting a feline indulge in a lemon gelato protein bar. This episode promises a blend of practical advice, heartfelt moments, and good laughs—don’t miss it!
this is well, basically with your host, mike de silva, and sam weeks on.
Speaker 2:Today's episode was a fun one. You know protein bars. We eat them, sometimes snacking. I know why we eat them. Where we eat them, we eat them. We also reviewed a bunch of them. We took some of the popular brands in supermarkets and graded them from.
Speaker 1:S to F Da-da.
Speaker 2:So if you're keen on trying a protein bar and want to hear us try some protein bars, we hope you enjoy today's episode. Also, we opened a letter. We had a very nice email from a very lovely listener and it made us feel warm and fuzzy.
Speaker 1:Protein.
Speaker 2:Bars, warm, fuzzies, all of that. We hope you enjoyed today's episode. This is Well, basically, Well, basically Open them and take bites yeah, that's a good idea. And then people can enjoy the succulent ASMR of the. Oh my Jesus Christ, can you pick up that microphone?
Speaker 1:It's just this one.
Speaker 2:Pick up the microphone. It's okay, we can open them one at a time. While we're going, you can be our opening slave. This is going to be so rough. Oh my goodness, we're here. Mikey's here. Mikey's back. He's had a brief hiatus. Not his own fault, my fault, because I'm I do too many things and you know, oh my goodness, the volume's all out of whack, isn't it? Sorry, there we go, there we are.
Speaker 2:Where's our producer? Where are they? Pikelet, pikelet Pikelet's dropped the ball again. He has. He consistently drops the ball. Actually, I don't think he's capable of carrying a ball because he doesn't have opposable thumbs.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:In his mouth. My kitten carries one around in her mouth. Really, that's very sweet. Pikelet doesn't care for balls, birds and moths. Yeah, 100%.
Speaker 1:What about cockroaches? Isn't that the reason? You get a cat? So you can kill the cockroaches and spiders.
Speaker 2:Pikelet's really bad at cockroaches.
Speaker 1:Maple loves cockroaches.
Speaker 2:She also loves loose wall paint.
Speaker 1:Oh wow, Is that good?
Speaker 2:Dangerous Is that good for her Lead paint? Probably not. Probably not. Okay, sweet, let's do this early. We've been slow to getting into the intros of late, so let's do it. Welcome, welcome, welcome. Episode number 175.
Speaker 2:Amazing, it's Colleen Minogue. She's been going and going and going, hasn't she? Yeah, she's been going, that's true. Welcome to First Time Listeners, second Time Listeners, third, fourth, fifth, you guys who listen every week. We appreciate your ears and your emails. We've actually got an email to read out today, a really nice one. We'll get to that in a sec. Maybe we can do a last, a final section called fan mail, fan mail, fan mail.
Speaker 1:Fan mail.
Speaker 2:There you go. Andrew can do the theme song and play the TLC song. What Fan mail? Is there? A TLC song called fan mail Crazy? If you like fitness, if you like protein bars, if you like a bunch of stuff, mostly fitness and brain related, then stick around. If you like dropping things on the floor like Mikey just did or was that me, that was you Then you can leave. Just kidding, that's out of it. Oh, that's the end song. Can't be playing that. Wait, I just want to. I just want to check something. Do we, do we still have? Keep my wife's name Out your?
Speaker 2:We do still have that. Who's been fooling around with these and just ruined everything? I don't know. I can't there. I am Okay.
Speaker 1:Mikey was healing here in the crackle and you know. If I can make a request, can you turn your phones down just a little?
Speaker 2:No, why would we do that?
Speaker 1:It's so loud.
Speaker 2:Okay, you're number two, how's that?
Speaker 1:Nice, that's much worse. What Is that quiet? I've got nothing, you got nothing. I'm number three.
Speaker 2:Oh, you're number three. Oh yeah, you're really loud. You're tuned up, aren't you?
Speaker 1:That's much better. Thank you, is that nice? Yeah, yeah, how are you?
Speaker 2:You got stuff now. How am I? I'm there, okay. Do you want a bit more? Would?
Speaker 1:you like a bit more A smidge. Okay, how's that? Yeah, that's better. Perfect, nice Are our ears in check.
Speaker 2:Are you okay, Sam? What about taste buds? I'm always okay.
Speaker 1:My taste buds, I think, are tuned. I've not eaten anything in maybe two hours. They're fresh.
Speaker 2:So if you guys didn't pick up on what we're going to put down and put down our gullets on today's episode, we've done a few serious episodes right and I was like I thought that we could do something a bit fun, a bit jokey. But also for you guys who are interested in protein bars and eat them regularly, we thought we'd do a review and give our opinions on some. Very well, I would say we've gone through a couple of the most popular and then there's some wild cards in there, there's some real freaks in this pile.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there's some real freaks in this pile. So if you eat protein bars on the regular, then stick around, because we are about to chow down.
Speaker 1:Now I do want to say you said, this is a silly episode. I've come in here like the food reviewer from Ratatouille. I'm ready, I'm serious. I'm locked in here like the food reviewer from Ratatouille. I'm ready, I'm serious, I'm locked in. We're going for a full score.
Speaker 2:And we're going to rate these on taste, cost and probably just protein content in general and also what else is in there.
Speaker 1:Because like protein bars.
Speaker 2:there's a lot of other stuff that often resides in a protein bar, so we will give our full thoughts. Resides, yeah. What ingredients reside in this protein bar?
Speaker 1:Do we want to start with number one Now? I have to be really careful in picking up this packaging because it's probably the loudest, most crumply packaging.
Speaker 2:We can do this, as is my episode.
Speaker 1:The first one is a Quest bar which I've been told I've not actually had protein bars before. That's the staple.
Speaker 2:The standard, the box standard.
Speaker 1:So if you want to take your little bittles, yeah, mikey going to go first.
Speaker 2:Andrew is the protein controller. Yeah, we're congealed together this. Quest Bar. What flavour have we got here?
Speaker 1:It is a s'mores flavoured Quest Bar. It it's a s'mores-flavored Quest bar. It's got 21 grams of protein, which is, I think, of the lot, maybe the highest, maybe the second highest. It's got four grams of carbs and 0.7 grams of sugar. I thought sugar was carbs. I don't think I understand. Okay, wait, let me get the price on there as well. You finish your reading before you start talking boyo Quest bars. I picked it up from Woolies for $3.35, which I would also say is like a low middle of the pack of what we've purchased. And these, all of them except for one, was bought, not on special, so this is the raw dog price that's going in there.
Speaker 1:Now, if you want to start us off, how, is it?
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's like. Quest bars are a bit of a textural adventure. Some texture happening. There is a lot of texture. They've got quite a lot of chew. I even remember when I was really into eating a lot of protein bars and didn't shit for a week, I'd put them in the microwave to make them soft. They're kind of like a nougat-y texture, something to be aware of. On the nutrition label, there are some rules around fiber. That means that you can't class stuff as carbohydrates. So there's actually in like a quest bar there's actually about 20 grams of carbohydrates and the bar itself yeah, it's a lie. Um, because there's a, there's like a loophole in terms of nutrition rules that they can get right. So if you go and buy one in the states, it says 20 grams of carbohydrates on the. On the bar it says 20 grams of carbohydrates on the bar Pretty interesting. But yeah, they load it with fiber. I think that's why it has the texture.
Speaker 1:To help you shit.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I also knew I had a client who couldn't eat these, like they would really mess up her guts. So there's a couple of things here to be aware of. If you've got a sensitive stomach, but I mean like, give it a try and give a small amount of try, don't eat the whole thing. A sensitive stomach.
Speaker 1:But I mean, like, give it a try and give a small amount of try, don't eat the whole thing. So I would say I'm not sure if that tastes like s'mores. I don't. I mean I'm not very familiar with s'mores, but that is not even a suggestion of a name.
Speaker 2:They don't they, don't they? And the funny thing about these is they all taste the same, like all the bars, pretty much well, we'll see today, because this is a no, the quest bars, like all the flavors are like pretty much like let's just sprinkle a light dusting of strawberry in this one and call it strawberry flavored. But really it's just what would you call this? It's kind of like chipboard almost.
Speaker 1:It's not really chipwood I would say nougat texture with crunches in it, and then it's just like the most blinding sweetness I would go sandy nougat, yeah, with some undertones of something sickly sweet like a marshmallow.
Speaker 2:So maybe they got that part right. Yeah, they are quite sweet aren't they and? Like a delightful aftertaste of something chemically. So where are we going to put that on our tier list?
Speaker 1:I mean that has to be below average.
Speaker 2:There's no way that place.
Speaker 1:I mean, if the rest of them are not higher than that. I'm going to be really disappointed with protein bars.
Speaker 2:Let's higher than that, I'm gonna be really disappointed with protein. Let's put it at a c, so we're going s. For what does s stand for? On the sd? It's just top, super, super. So we're gonna s is top, a, b, c and let's put, let's give it a, d and maybe an e for something that's real, real bad. So c tear. That can be our base.
Speaker 1:That's a baseline well, you just say it's bog standard. It's what people get mediocre at best describe not not shocking, except for the fact that it doesn't have any flavor so is that the first time you've ever tried a protein bar? Uh, I may have had. You may have given me one after a workout. Yeah, yeah, I think I did, but I can't remember what it was. I do remember it having a really, like my jaw like it gets a real workout, just doing it, you had a whole bunch of them but I don't remember it very well, so this is going to be a real foray for me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, um, so that was number one. Uh, the next one, if you guys want to jump in, is the musashi high protein. Now, this, I will tell you, is the most expensive on the list. It was six full dollars for one bar. Yeah, that's a lot of money. Feel free to crack in as well. Um, this one comes with 45 of protein. So this is like a full workout protein shake, ready to go. There's 3.2 grams of carbs, which, as we know, now fiber.
Speaker 2:The fiber is like an interesting one. It's a big log. Yeah, it's a big log, yeah this thing is hefty.
Speaker 1:It was actually. It's like 90 grams in total. It's a very heavy, heavy bar. But Musashi, I'll tell you, is my brand of choice for protein powder. I really like it. It tastes the most like Milo. It's very tasty. So I have high, high hopes. But I'm seeing on eyes in the room that this may be dashed. There was a moment there, there was a moment where I thought I was yeah, it tastes good for a second.
Speaker 2:It tastes good for a full second. I thought I was getting chocolate and it's not the, it's like in the middle, right in the middle. You're like, oh yeah, this is okay. What the fuck? And then it just immediately is yeah, I thought I was going to get chocolate and then that went away as quick as can be. Yeah, I'm going to say I'm putting that in D immediately. It's so bad. Hey, slightly less grainy on the texture. Yeah, very girthy. I would go a quiz about over this one all day.
Speaker 1:Milk, chocolate, brownie was the flavour. Yeah, and there is, you're right. Like maybe a second after you take a bite it really comes into its own and then it just falls apart in your mouth.
Speaker 2:Yeah, terrible. Then it's back to the brown house paint.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, it really tastes like newspaper-y or like acetone.
Speaker 2:It looks like the inside of it as well. Oh yeah, it looks like paper mashing.
Speaker 1:It's got like a little caramel bottom to it as well, where our teeth have gnawed through this. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Not a good protein bar. I actually used to so when I was doing my bulky thing, that bar same company. When I was labouring heaps I used to eat one of those and chicken at lunchtime.
Speaker 1:As if I couldn't get enough protein. Wait, a whole rotisserie chicken. A whole rotisserie chicken.
Speaker 2:Oh my word, I had issues, all right.
Speaker 1:We have options here, guys. Do we want to start on some of the fruity delights, or do we want to go with a low-carb cookies and cream?
Speaker 2:Because this BEC bar is one that's quite popular, so I think we should go this one. So do we have a tier for our Musashi number?
Speaker 1:Oh, that has to be a D, I mean with the price that it is it tasted worse than whatever the first one was.
Speaker 2:I think, taking into account prices, they're a lower tier. Let's put it in F, that's an F tier protein bar.
Speaker 1:This one has a little coating on it. It actually looks really tasty.
Speaker 2:It's got a tube of fluid at the top of it as well.
Speaker 1:A dick vein on a protein bar.
Speaker 2:Don't give me my protein bar, unless it has a dick vein. You're a fan of these ones. Hey, mikey, is this the custard?
Speaker 1:No, this is a cookies and cream flavoured BSC low-carb protein bar, so it's famously low-carb. This has Small river of custard. I wasn't aware you could. Oh no, it's 60 grams per serve. I thought it was 60 grams of protein. It's 60 grams per serve.
Speaker 2:It's like 18. I've had these before 32% protein. Yeah, look on the back, I'll tell you what the protein is.
Speaker 1:I'm working that out. 18, I'm going to fully believe.
Speaker 2:There's a nutrition label right there. It's so tiny, it's good for the listeners.
Speaker 1:It's upside down Tiny tiny, okay. In each serving there's 19.2 grams of protein.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so it's like it's close behind Quest.
Speaker 1:So it's 6.2 grams of fiber, 2.7 grams of carbs. It's stevia instead of sugar. Stevia Get some cancer instead of getting fat.
Speaker 2:Sometimes it's like a lot of them have like sucralose and that type of stuff on a stevia. It can be gentle, more gentle, but also you overdo any of these artificial sweeteners and you're going to have bubble butt, bubble, bubble, bubble, butt for sure.
Speaker 1:Oh, this is nice.
Speaker 2:It's not bad. Hey, it's like it's not bad. It's very sweet. Or is it coming off the back of the Musashi that it feels? Oh yeah, we should have had a palate cleanser. Maybe we should have eaten a coffee bean in between each. But, texturally much, much smoother. That's why I said that's like close to like a chocolate bar, but it's still not.
Speaker 1:Yeah, None of these have even skimmed nearby in the right galaxy as a as a like a chocolate bar, like if you put just, we should have just had a cadbury chocolate bar here as like a a baseline for ourselves. It would have blown these out of the water. It was really tasty, very, very sweet. The flavor was cookies and cream and I would say it tastes a little bit like cookies and cream, but, as with anything with protein in it, it has that weird over taste that all protein has.
Speaker 2:Yeah well, it's actually I don't think it's a protein as much as the sweetness that they used to put in there, because, like, have you, have you ever is that the aftertaste? Yeah, well, stevia on its own. If you've ever had like a little bit on your tongue, it like is sweet, but then it's like sort of like a cold sensation. It's really weird. I don't know how to describe it, but it's not mint, it's like cold, um, but yeah it's got.
Speaker 2:It's definitely got that going on. I don't know if I like that more than a quest bar, really, yeah I was gonna put it at an a tier, I'm gonna go b b. It's not quite there for me, okay you tie, break it.
Speaker 1:What do you reckon? Or are you gonna go lower than that and we'll average out to b?
Speaker 2:I was gonna be a c, I was gonna take it down to D. Wow, c plus yeah.
Speaker 1:I don't know. I reckon B. I reckon that was definitely better than a Quest and a League's better than a Musashi oh definitely better than a Musashi. Yeah, Musashi was.
Speaker 2:D no, Musashi's an F.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, it skipped.
Speaker 2:E and went to F. I like the varied textures. In that one there was a good soft, nougaty-ish texture with a little river of whatever that was and then little crunchies. So I had three things going for it which may be distracted from the it's still lingering for me and hanging around. I just don't know how I feel about that. I'm going to have some water to you know, I think the safe bet is B.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry, sam, we'll go with the majority, it? I think the safe bet is B. I'm sorry, sam.
Speaker 2:We'll go with the majority. It is a little better than a Quest. It is a democracy. Let's go with B.
Speaker 1:Okay, should we start our foray into the fruity ones? Yeah, let's go. Fruity White Chalk Raspberry coming up. I'll just get it open this is actually my favorite flavor combination.
Speaker 2:Anyway, the White Chalk Raspberry Quest is the one that I like. I've like these, I've had these ones before and I think it's quite good. What's the brand?
Speaker 1:it's muscle nation, so they're actually very well reputed.
Speaker 2:They're an australian company, so they're actually based in brisbane, if I'm um, uh, I'm correct. I think I'm correct. I don't know if they're made here, but I know, um, I bought uh stuff from them. I bought their protein powder.
Speaker 1:It's really delicious as well yeah, they do a lot of good marketing. So this, this is a Muscle Nation custard protein bar, perfect snacking choice. They say it's 60 grams for the bar. It's 15 grams of protein in that and 6.4 grams of carbs. It says that it's got little berry bites in it and from the look of it it's got maybe chocolate chips in the top and it's got a little.
Speaker 2:It's got little berry bites, baby Are. But maybe chocolate chips in the top and it's got a little. It's a little berry bite, baby, are they? Yeah, it's got a chip. Oh, it smells really nice.
Speaker 1:It does smell much better than the others. Does it taste as good though?
Speaker 2:I'll let you guys keep eating.
Speaker 1:Oh my God it also comes in my favourite colour, pink. It's the millennial pink packaging. It's a very gay looking bar. I show off they should make a rainbow bar. That would obviously taste absolutely awful.
Speaker 2:I had a rainbow bagel when I was in New York and it sort of tastes like just a normal bagel. Oh Calm, this is good. Yeah, yeah, that's probably good.
Speaker 1:I'm going to Describe the flavour.
Speaker 2:Talk us through it, so it's like Well, it is talk us through it. So it's like it's well, it is. I wouldn't say it's like definitively raspberry. I'd say it's like a berry flavour and vanilla a little more jammy. Yeah, it's like jam yeah, like a raspberry jam yeah, like a jammy dodger yeah, that's it, it's. It is closer to what we would consider a confectionary.
Speaker 1:So far, that's the only one that I would ever pick up and actually eat. That is the single one that I would take the time to actually buy.
Speaker 1:So that's going to be an S tier, right? Oh, have it. On the price for the other ones Sorry, the low carb one that we did before was $3.15. Okay, yeah, cool, and the pink one we just had is $3.99, so maybe a little more premium. Yeah, $3.99. So maybe a little more premium, but it's also. It tastes way better. Oh wait, that was on special as well, wasn't it?
Speaker 2:No, not on special. Not on special. Sometimes you can get them on special. Oh, I actually have a story about these, Please. They fucked up and put them on. I scanned one and it came up as 20 cents at Woolworths in the city and I just got like a hundred and I gave them to clients. That exact one that's genius.
Speaker 1:Wow it is. It's really tasty.
Speaker 2:I'm actually gonna have another little bite yeah, it's good, hey, uh, so that's surely out of the, out of the bunch. We're gonna put that s because to me that's closest to like chocolate delicious, my favorite flavor combo and the ballpark of the flavor that is advertised. So that's top. We don't have an A yet, do we? Okay, so nothing's an A.
Speaker 1:We might get something. Looking at this selection, I'm doubtful we'll get an A but we might. There's not a lot of good to go. The next one up is Lemon Gelato. Let me get this open.
Speaker 2:So that was the BSC. No, that was the bsc. No, that was the muscle muscle nation custard protein bar. Yes, oh okay. Yeah, we've got a lot of white chocolate.
Speaker 1:I'm, I have to say, I'm a, I am a big fan of white chocolate I'll say, when I was picking these, I just tried to find the most cooked looking uh packaging for them. So, um, there are some weird ones in there. Um, this is oh, I'm not sure what brand this is lemon gelato cleaner is that the brand name?
Speaker 1:I thought I was just saying clean up your rubbish. That's the brand. Um, so it's called keep it cleaner lemon gelato. It's creamy dairy whip protein bar. Now this bar, it has 12 grams of protein per bar. What's the price? It's quite small. Yeah, that's a really good question.
Speaker 2:Keep it cleaner is, uh, four dollars and fifty cents, whoa shit and it's like At least At least a third smaller Than like Pretty much.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's 45 grams, so it's a half the size Of the Musashi and two thirds the price. So yeah, the flavour Is lemon gelato, which I thought Was a little weird. I'm hoping for a tartness when I have a little bite Into this, but I'm Good luck with that.
Speaker 2:I would say this into this, but I'm Good luck with that.
Speaker 1:I would say this looks quite cheap. It looks very home, brand-esque the packaging. That's actually another Australian company. Oh well, do better, jesus. Wow, I'm going to dig in. Talk us through it.
Speaker 2:This is a frothiness. I don't know if you want frothy.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, like minty as well, chalk.
Speaker 2:It's really bad. A chalky frothy Okay, I am going to agree. That's not on the same tier as the one I tried to put into oh no, actually not, those can hang out together. That's awful, yeah, that's the worst thing I've ever tasted. That's straight down to F as well. That's the worst thing I've ever tasted. That's straight down to F as well wait is it better than the other one. What was the F? The Musashi was the F.
Speaker 1:Musashi was not an F? Well for the price it's an F but that one is worse dollar per gram and it was so much worse flavour it's G actually.
Speaker 2:It won't leave my mouth. Oh yeah, here, do you want some water? Oh my god, disgusting. Okay, sorry, keep it.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, here do you want some water?
Speaker 2:Oh my God, disgusting. Okay, sorry, all right, keep it cleaner. I knew that one was going to be bad, because I've had some of this stuff before. None of it tastes that great, if I'm honest. Got a five-star health rating though Low carbs. Yeah, that's a terrible eating experience. What's?
Speaker 1:the. Is that supposed to be lemon?
Speaker 2:It to be lemon. It's like lemon rind.
Speaker 1:Basically it's that's what lemon gelato tastes like. Have you never had a lemon gelato? That is not what lemon gelato tastes. Oh, this one's cute. Okay, smell that. This is like number six or something, or number five. It's like some sherbet oh, wow so this is the bsc. Oh, another bsc. We should have done these together.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's got scabs on it.
Speaker 1:That's amazing this is low, low carb, low crab. Um, it's mousse. Uh on it. That's amazing. This is low carb, low crab, it's mousse and it's strawberries and cream flavoured. So it's a 55 gram serve and the protein I'll have less in it. I can tell you just by looking at it. They hide these bloody details. Do you think this is the most important part?
Speaker 2:55 grams has 17 grams of protein.
Speaker 1:I guess to describe it. It's like a white coating around, almost a powdered pink, and then on top there is like scabs, scabs. Yeah, it really looks like, just like disgusting scabs. Um, mikey's first reaction is a shock, a hoop and a holler, uh, but it's a. It's a rough, a rough looking, a rough looking bar, I would say. There's also a little biscuit liner at the bottom, which I kind of hate in these things, because it just feels like an unnecessary texture. No, I'm into that. The biscuit's good. Yeah, you guys are both chewing a lot, which makes me think this mousse is more of a thickened mousse.
Speaker 2:That's the bottom layer. You were talking about the biscuit layer Biscuit. It tastes strawberry it tastes strawberry Not a real strawberry, but close to something I actually I don't. I think I might prefer that to the custard. It's got a cheesecake vibe to it that I'm really into, you know, like the biscuit base with the cheesecake in there.
Speaker 1:This is good.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's good. I would say that's fine dining.
Speaker 1:That's nice, I would say. I mean for me not better than the, not better than the custard, not better than the custard.
Speaker 2:I'm on the fence Because I feel like it tasted more close to a strawberry maybe strawberry cream, but than a than a raspberry yeah, that's fair, that's it in your mouth.
Speaker 1:For just a little we can. We can have two in the s tier. They don't all have to have one tier each, you know?
Speaker 2:yeah, I suppose so I also find that more it's like it's not a bad texture, but it's got a. It's definitely got a more interesting texture than this one, which was kind of just a log of chew, whereas that's got little bits going on in it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I do see the cheesecake and you're right, the biscuit at the bottom really saves it, because it is a lot softer in the middle than I thought it was going to be yeah, which I don't hate, because often a lot of protein bars are just like a chewing experience.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you're chewing Before we move on to the next ones. Wow, there's a real spectacle of eating bite marks on a plate. Before we move on to the next one, I wanted to check should I? If I want to eat protein bars, should I be having them as like meal supplements, replacements, or after a workout? What's the best way for me to be eating these?
Speaker 2:I mean, what are your thoughts on this, mikey? Yeah, I think of them as more of a like convenience thing, where if I couldn't get food, and it's like a good option. I'm kind of the same.
Speaker 1:Yeah, would you replace meals with them?
Speaker 2:No, like honestly, I would find that none of these. If I was to eat a whole bar, I'd be like I've eaten a meal. And this wasn't a pinch and you had nothing else. The same way, like if you anyone, whenever our listeners are the same, if you're the same, like if I eat a chocolate bar, I'm not like oh, I'm so full, wow it's like a protein shake.
Speaker 1:You know I'll never eat it. It's like a meal replacement.
Speaker 2:It's just had well, I mean like I might treat it like a snack yeah, it could be, a snack as part of it, yeah, or just like if you're trying to get your protein. There's a convenience factor in that there is a convenience factor that mousse though. That's tasty, sweet treat have we picked the tier for that no.
Speaker 1:I would say it was good enough to be near S and you would say it's definitely an.
Speaker 2:S and you would say it's probably S. So the two berry flavours Are up there. Wow, anything berry flavoured's gonna Okay, the next one is a collagen. So what, Wow yeah anything berry flavoured is going to Okay. The next one is a collagen, so what's?
Speaker 1:collagen.
Speaker 2:It's basically the runoff of boiling animal bones, so it used to be really cheap, but now, because it's like a dairy-free alternative to protein, it's quite popular. I remember way back in the day someone put out like a collagen protein powder made from beef collagen and everyone was like that's fucked, I'm not going to eat that, and now it's like the thing to do.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the protein water is all collagen. Now I will say I'm calling this now, Okay, kitty, get out of. I'm calling this now, okay. Hey, kitty, get out of here.
Speaker 2:Our producer's back.
Speaker 1:He's come back. I feel like you guys would love this, because you guys love pineapple lumps over in New Zealand, it's true, and this is pineapple flavoured, so if you want to have a little bite, have you seen? Please don't talk through this. This is going to be so chewy. Uh, this is called no way, no way, no way. How do they say it? Um, it's a pineapple flavored collagen jelly bar. That's disgusting. There's 20 grams of protein per serve. Um, uh, it's high protein, gluten-free and high fiber. Now, both of you look a little concerned. Talk us through. What does it taste like?
Speaker 2:Going through waves of it improves, and then I don't like it. And then I I can tell you what I like it. I love licorice and it's giving me like licorice, licorice vibes. Oh, this is good. Yeah, I see, I like it too. Yeah.
Speaker 1:It's like a pineapple lump.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I actually quite enjoy that, mikey's not sure it does remind me. I don't know if you guys have seen the movie. Oh my God, it's by a Korean director. It's got Chris Evans in it. Anyway, it's about it's like all about class systems and it's in the future, the world's like all cooked and they're going around. That guy gets his arms frozen. What the hell is it called something train? Oh um, tilda swinton's in it, tilda swinton's on it too. Yeah, anyway, the the lowest train. No, it's not what it's called. Ah damn, I had it in my head. Anyway, the the lowest class on that train get fed these like um gelatinous squares, that that kind of reminds me of.
Speaker 2:And the twist in the movie is they don't know what they're eating, but it's nutrition, so they eat it anyway, and then it just turns out to be pressed cockroaches.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, that's our future, that's what we're looking forward to.
Speaker 2:It tastes pretty good. It tastes a little medicinal.
Speaker 1:I would say I think that's that fruit-chocolate combination.
Speaker 2:It's quite a hard one to get, right the jelly texture as well.
Speaker 1:I think mentally it would be tough to get over. It's a, it's a real um, it's all the worst parts of jelly yeah, it's like if you make jelly with not enough water and you know how sometimes you make jelly put it in the fridge and then the bottom is like a really thick layer.
Speaker 2:That's what that is. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'd like to abstain from voting on this one. Okay, what Well?
Speaker 1:if I'm going, I'd probably go A. I'm going to put it in A as well.
Speaker 2:I reckon, what was the cost of this one. Oh yeah, did I miss that Very good question.
Speaker 1:What's it called? No way, it was $2.45. Is it on special?
Speaker 2:No, it's not special. No.
Speaker 1:Okay, really, oh, maybe. What does the little arrow mean up here? Does that mean it's not special?
Speaker 2:I think this is not special, because I bought this one not this one, but one of those before.
Speaker 1:Okay, I've been leading you astray on a lot of these. Then the Quest bar and the BSC bar.
Speaker 2:both of those were on special as well if that's what the arrow next to it means, okay, crisis, because collagen actually it should be cheap because it's cheap to make.
Speaker 1:Yeah, just boil a bunch of bones like what more is there? What more is there? Um, our very, very final one is the cheapest of the lot and it's not on special it's two dollars. Oh, this is cheapest chips and we've saved it for last because it's plant protein yeah, what you thought, we're gonna look after you. Vegans, don't you worry, we got you yeah, we've got you, but after you vegans, don't you worry, we got you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we've got you, but I'm calling it now. This is going to be disgusting. It's going to be the worst one by far. Oh, Pikelet's so interested because he thinks it's got a wrapper, so it's food.
Speaker 1:So the brand is Sum or Plus Sum maybe I'm not sure Pikelet really is rubbing his face on this like it's his buddy. It's a plant protein bar. The flavor is salted caramel. Now Sam set us a limit of 10 grams minimum protein, but the plant proteins don't have a lot in them, so this is 9.5 grams. Wow.
Speaker 2:It's almost there.
Speaker 1:And it's 35 grams for the whole thing, so it's a very tiny bar packed with a little bit of protein. Mikey hates it. So yeah, let us know. Is it salted caramel, is it not?
Speaker 2:I don't really trust plant-based anything, even plants. I'm getting peanut. Yeah, I get peanut. I don't know like I can get salt peanut. I don't mind that. I thought this was going to be the worst one. It's definitely to me not the worst one. Sorry, that's okay, I'll go B. Go B, I reckon.
Speaker 1:Price-wise.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, also price-wise. Yeah, true, if we're factoring that in, that's a.
Speaker 1:That's a B, that's a B, that is a B. It just tastes like it's a bit of a lie that they were like this is salted caramel, because that's peanuts, that's just a ton of peanuts.
Speaker 2:What's plant protein? Okay, so if you're vegan, you can have that, but if you have a peanut allergy, don't go anywhere near it.
Speaker 1:What's plant protein, though?
Speaker 2:It's probably pea, or did they use Pea Pea protein Like wee?
Speaker 1:Yes, Piss in my bar. Wow Peas, just blended up peas and peanuts.
Speaker 2:Does it say pea protein on?
Speaker 1:there. No, it says protein blend 25%. Oh, here we are. Soy protein isolate Soy protein crisps. Soy protein isolate Tapioca starch and salt.
Speaker 2:I think you'll find a lot of these have the soy protein crisps in them, because that's what gives them that light, crispy texture. Overrated those soy protein crisps, and when we go to taste it's not offensive.
Speaker 1:No, that's actually, that's fine, like I'd eat that and not feel sad. What was the one that was really wretched? What was that awful, awful one? Oh, there's so many here.
Speaker 2:It was the lemon one, oh yeah.
Speaker 1:The lemon gelato.
Speaker 2:That's actually the worst protein bar I've ever tasted, and I've eaten many in my time. I've literally had many. Do you want to know what the best tasting ones are like, legitimately, please?
Speaker 1:I mean, we've got some good ones in here.
Speaker 2:There was the BSC mousse strawberries and cream Mousse has come out of the top and the Muscle Nation custard, white chocolate, raspberry, go get those. The birthday cake. One of these Of the Muscle Nation. Yeah, disgusting, don't get it.
Speaker 1:I mean you'd believe that from a flavour like birthday cake.
Speaker 2:My cakes are all over the place.
Speaker 1:Sometimes they get a hummingbird cake, sometimes it's a chocolate cake. There's like a lot of cheese cake.
Speaker 2:It's just like birthday cake with more flavour, sprinkles and vanilla Candles Candle flavoured. Do you guys have any other brands that you quite like? So Mars did a protein bar for a while really, and they still do it, but I think you have to get it on Amazon and Snickers too, and Snickers as well. Those are proper good, like they've just like basically put like protein into the nougat they use at the bottom and it like it's near impossible to tell the difference.
Speaker 1:I want that. Yeah, that sounds delicious.
Speaker 2:We should have got that. I actually tried to see if we could get one. Yeah, maybe what I'll do is I'll get some for next episode and we can just like go quietly munch them while we're talking. We can see what a real S tier tastes like Okay. So that's good. Maybe what we'll do is we'll do some sort of diagram so you can see our tier list.
Speaker 1:We'll keep these. I'll listen to the episode and write down what we actually said about them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's good. We can get AI to do it, you know, oh yeah.
Speaker 1:Get out of here, Pike.
Speaker 2:This cat wants to get buff.
Speaker 1:He really wants to start bulking and I think it's a real tragedy, Sam, that you're a PT and you haven't started training your cat.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I should just feed him entire crows a roasted crow. Okay, let's read this very lovely message that we got.
Speaker 1:Do you want me to read it to you, because I didn't know about you two?
Speaker 2:Well, no, you're on there too, am I? No, but you've got a good reading voice, so why not?
Speaker 1:Oh, it's me, it's Morgan Freeman.
Speaker 2:Hello and I can't read. It's Andrew. Yeah, you don't know how you never learned.
Speaker 1:Did I say the price? Oh yeah, $2. That's good for $2. I'm impressed with this whole lineup.
Speaker 2:It's quite an expense, I mean like I would be if I got. Yeah. Protein bars are just such an interesting one for me, like overall, in terms of not really feeling any sort of satisfaction over anything it's like you want a chocolate bar, but you have this because you're trying to have protein or whatever, but like it's not going to tick that box. Like it's never going to tick that box as much as if you just got what's on a boost bar. I love boosts.
Speaker 1:It's boost not related to the juice brand.
Speaker 2:No, it's just another chocolate bar. Or a Chocitos Ch, another chocolate bar or a chocitos. Chocitos are really good, aero really like aero, but like a chocolate bar is going to be like, okay, I had a chocolate bar and it was fucking delicious. This is just like I had something that was trying its best to be that, but it's like a healthier version and often I'm like I still want a chocolate bar like. This has done nothing for that, for me personally I think, uh as well.
Speaker 1:Um, it's going to be good that we're doing another review for another bar next week, because we're going to have to add into that review how our guts do after this, after this smorgasbord next week because we all just pass away.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think that's an important point to make, like if you're avoiding chocolate and you're going for that, you're going to get into that little like I'm not satisfied, I should have had a chocolate bar yeah, and, and a chocolate bar is part of an overall healthy diet anyway, because enjoying your food is fucking important.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and also none of those beat a chocolate bar by a lot. Like the chocolate bars are like leagues ahead of any, even the best ones that we were singing like waxing lyrical about chocolate bars. Shit on so quickly. Now do you want to hear a nice little letter?
Speaker 2:Let's hear a letter. It's time, for that's my jingle. I think TLC's are better? Yeah, probably.
Speaker 1:Hey guys, my name's Tash Mikey. Your friend, shelly, introduced me to this podcast. I'm part of her DBT program, I don't have a question, ha ha. I just wanted to say that over the past two months I've inhaled this podcast Literally every single episode. That's incredible. 175 episodes, that's incredible. And it's helped me instrumentally or immensely. I'm a recently qualified personal trainer, not that I would train anyone. The education they provide is minimal and, of course, fat phobic. I'm genuinely concerned that this is all that it takes to be able to prescribe people exercise, it is off on a tangent sorry, off on a tangent sorry.
Speaker 1:The point of this message is to say thank you, seriously, thank you. Hearing the following, hearing and following your journeys provided me with extra support and encouragement. I needed to make some drastic changes. I finally stopped counting calories and I've been challenging food rules. Mikey, I resonated with your journey so much. I also have ADHD and an eating disorder and I'm so grateful for the perspective you offer. You're incredibly insightful and it's just so encouraging to see that people can find their way out of the diet culture bullshit. I think I just need to hear that not everyone in the fitness industry is shit. Your voices and the messages you guys I mean true queen the voices and messages you guys have to share is just so fucking refreshing and important. I wish more people could hear it. Me too, love you guys and genuinely not sure what to do with my time now that I've run out of episodes PS.
Speaker 2:Sam, I'm obsessed with your workout mixes, your music mixes. Nice, you have workout mixes. I do apparently. I should know that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's really fucking sweet yeah it's a gorgeous message and it hits on a lot of the key points that you guys have tried to build up while building this podcast over time, which is there are people in the fitness industry that aren't just absolutely cooked out of their brains.
Speaker 2:Yeah yeah, yeah, exactly right, and also nice to kind of sometimes you forget why you did it because it has been a long journey, like, yeah, that is why I was doing this in the first place, you know? Yeah, so that was very lovely. I know I'm sounding like patronising. Right now it doesn't sound patronising, I don't know, I'm sounding like patronizing right now it doesn't sound patronizing.
Speaker 1:I don't know, I'm emotional it's been a rough week. I think to hear that someone has resonated in the way that you have specifically curated like a message.
Speaker 2:Well, accidentally, half the time I mean, that's how I roll I'm just bumbling my way through life, hoping that occasionally, you know, you'll say something that helps someone else.
Speaker 1:That sounds like a help.
Speaker 2:It's also yeah, it's a really good thing to hear and also it's good to know that they're still giving personal trainers certificates to train people that are severely underqualified. Because I've stepped up, because I only teach classes in gyms now, like I don't spend my whole day in a gym, so I don't really get to see the I don't want to say idiocy, but there is a bit of that that goes on there. So you know there is yeah, there's a, there's an ic you do?
Speaker 1:you work on the floor, don't you mikey?
Speaker 2:yeah, 100, and I was talking to one of the lecturers I really shouldn't say that, but he was like echoing the same concerns um, they, they churn all these people out. And also there's a lack of, like, a lot of it's very theory-based and not practical-based. So they've got all this theory but they don't know how to apply the knowledge and they don't know how to move themselves. It's not thinking about people. Like there's a whole element of that that's removed from it when you first get your training. Like there's no psychological training whatsoever, which I think it's hyper focused on that. One single aspect yeah, you can't see the forest from the trees. Everything is focused on this training, generally speaking yeah, it's really focused.
Speaker 1:I imagine I've not done it, but I focused on, like, mechanics of the human body as well that, that, that, that too, but also uh, yeah, it on a very basic level.
Speaker 2:Um, it doesn't take into account the complexity of human uh behavior and their relationships with exercise and food. Yeah, that's probably what I was trying to say, which is like stuff you do pick up along the way, but it'd be great to have like a a great podcast to listen to where you get to hear all about this stuff.
Speaker 1:I would say Tasha, if you're not practicing, you know you've done the training. You're not practicing. You're probably a person that should be. It sounds like you've done, the thoughts to get to become a point that you'll be actually really helpful in in people's lives.
Speaker 2:Yeah, great.
Speaker 1:So maybe take the knowledge that you got out of the training and some of the knowledge that you've got from Mikey and Sammy and build an empire.
Speaker 2:Yes, yeah, it doesn't have to be exactly personal training, it could be. You know something in the industry Life coach Steers people away. Oh my God no.
Speaker 1:I'd kill it being a life coach, you would kill it.
Speaker 2:I'd absolutely smash it. What a lovely email. Thank you so much for listening to. Well, basically, we hope you enjoyed our little protein bar review. This is something light and fun.
Speaker 1:Those protein bars not light and fun. Most of them are real slob. I am way to the chair.
Speaker 2:If you want to find Mikey, you can find out Well Basically, mikey. If you want to find Andrew, you can find him at the beer beckon investor. If you want to find me, you can find me at Well Basically, the Andrew. You can find him at the beer back at Investor. If you want to find me, you can find me at WellBasicallySaying. The website is wwwwellbasicallypodcom.
Speaker 1:My cat is really trying to get hench. Hey, he wants a protein snack. His eyes are locked in. We should give him a whole one. What's that? Lemon gelato one. He'll be off it forever oh my God.
Speaker 2:There's no way you want that. What He'll be off forever. Oh my God, there's no way you want that. What are you thinking about? I've always actually wanted a really fat cat, this is your problem.
Speaker 1:I'm just going to take my hands off and we'll see.
Speaker 2:I'm worried that'll make him sick, don't.
Speaker 1:Do you?
Speaker 2:mean a fat cat like a capitalist?
Speaker 1:Yes, that's exactly it.
Speaker 2:These fat cats Basically. That's it, Michael. You got any words? Thank?
Speaker 1:you.