This week, Cody's future is uncertain, Melanie is more German than expected, Brianne doesn't want to stay the night, and we hear the stories of some good boys and girls.Content warnings: pet loss throughout episode, pets and humans in S...

This week, Brianne is a reluctant snake advocate, the Reuben finally gets the exit it deserved all along, Melanie is bringing a delicious and trustworthy muffuletta, the US Military is roughly the size of a barge, Rock Lobster breaks down walls...

This week, the US military's anti-gay methods always backfire, a researcher wants a do-over, lead paint poisoned papaws are too emboldened, Alfred Kinsey and Joe Exotic appear in the same sentence, and the government loves to watch. Thank you f...

This week, Oprah is wrong, Brianne drives the horse, Madison's grandma loves Jurassic Park, Lisa delivers the funeral kidnapping tea, Meagan's Grammy has a tramp stamp, Taylor has the best wedding gift, Serena is her granddad's favorite but not...

This week, we're concerned this episode may curse you, Cody does it wild, Melanie is committed to the bit, Brianne twirls her mustache, and we continue our magical journey through Supreme Court hearings, an inventor's lab, an old-timey lesbian ...

This week, Melanie settles for a blowie, Cody delivers a merely passable Tijuana hot dog, and we time travel to Colonial America, a Revolutionary War battlefield getting Queer Eyed by a Virgo, a gay shame parade, a Gold Rush-era gay B&B, th...

This week, Melanie gets all of you naked for an announcement, we may have found the ultimate meeting spot, Brianne and Abby don't really want to dive in, we compromise on haunted dolls, Brianne is unperturbed by horrifying quantities of pteroda...

This week, we hear from Captain Steeeve, Mel Anie doesn't get it, Brianne implores you to consider a radish, we raw dog the sandwich bracket, petting zoo rules come into play, and prankster papaws pair perfectly with old women with secrets....

This week, Melanie curates a perfectly-Melanie date night experience, Brianne threatens the integrity of the bracket, Fuckboy Frederick sees an opening, a tall flower cannot be denounced, and DNA is just like one of many games.Content w...

This week, Brianne offers a substitute hot take, birds do not respond to polite requests, hitting record has detrimental consequences, we manifest sexy spreadsheets, the truth comes out about Melanie’s dad, we look for a fun place to meet our e...

Content warnings: very extensive discussion of depression, bipolar disorder, and suicidal ideation that culminates in death by suicide. Discussion of the emotional state and inner reasoning leading to death by suicide, as well as its impact ...

Content warnings: very extensive discussion of depression, bipolar disorder, and suicidal ideation that culminates in death by suicide. Discussion of the emotional state and inner reasoning leading to death by suicide, as well as its impact ...

This week, Brianne blames it on space, Melanie introduces the neighborhood kids to gambling, Brianne loses her nerve at the laundromat, Melanie is a classic 90s cigarette mom, what amounts to an old timey disaster drag show goes incredibly wron...

This week, vegemite belongs toward the back end, Brianne has a grilled cheese plug, Melanie’s thirst is quenched, a plane has surgery, Brianne is rapidly aging, and we want the best for the makers of Cosmic Yoga.Content warnings: plane ...

This week, we are all personally responsible for the deer overpopulation problem, Melanie is finally desensitized to shafts, Brianne is a curious cat when it comes to water drills and industrial balloons, and Jessica is off the grid....

This week, Brianne brings you more Buckeye bullshit, Melanie is still vertical, we contemplate a bracket brought to you in partnership with Sandwich Daddy, Brianne’s cucumber terrorizes the world, the bracket ends with a controversial winner, y...

This week, we hear from the man with the world’s largest collection of Titanic VHS tapes, Brianne cannot stop the wind, Melanie and Cody are both tax tops, the Kruse family presents a disaster charcuterie, we unpack the possibility that Austral...

This week, Brianne plans for her next cohost, we finally identify Carmen Sandiego’s location, we begin an inquiry into Ohio’s lesbian farming, Brianne punches sideways, we get a crossover villain from the previous episode, Melanie is owed a cha...

This week, Marley enters her piranha era, Brianne must continually reckon with Froot Loops, we discover that there are two kinds of people, Melanie has a certain amount of knowledge about grave robbing, and we have a guest speaker for disaster ...

This week, we give lumberjacks a break from the female gaze, Melanie finally admits that she’s the bottom, Brianne is actually the river planner for the city, we try to appease Ohio, it really is all about that bass, and a “peculiar whistle” sa...

This week, Adelaide is over the hill of childhood, sphincters are puckered, Shane has monstrous cojones, Melanie gets a package that would make either of us cry, and Brianne has a confession about Ohio.Content warnings: extreme s...

This week, we’re having another baby, Melanie is getting blown, Brianne’s brain gremlin is running things, we would like to discuss what our partners are wearing, and jokesters gotta joke.Content warnings: gory description of far...

This week, Squonk’s gotta Squonk, your grief is invited to our holiday party, Melanie believes that lighters are a recalled children’s toy, toy manufacturers need a visit from HR, Melanie inquires about a potential career in pole vaulting/magic...

This week, the Froot Loops are malicious, Grace is back on her bullshit, not everyone understands how certifying things works, the story includes an unexpected amount of family tea and fantasy nose punching, and Melanie has an unethical opinion...

This week, the ghouls deliver on tea (but not the usual kind), Brianne’s kid is a poser, the bracket choice is unexpectedly easy, Melanie loves sipping clams, people scoot like seals, Brianne is haunted by violent Sky Dancers, and Melanie gets ...