Men see promiscuity in a female as a deal breaker when seeking a life-long partner

Sexual Intelligence: More science stuff (3)

A lot of compact info in this episode. I think my post bag is going to be very full this week with comments about.......!

Remember, don't shoot the messenger.

Men see promiscuity in a female as a deal breaker when seeking a life-long partner. If a man sees a woman as hard to get for sex, he will instinctively feel that she will more likely be faithful in the long term for partnership/marriage. For males, sexual loyalty and sexual integrity is the most praised and sought after asset and quality in a woman when considering a long term partnership/marriage. 

This may seem  - not very “modern” - but when females are seeking a partner for potential life-long partnership, with whom to have children, she seeks out someone who is likely to be reliable; to be there when she is pregnant – during a vulnerable time in her life whilst carrying the baby; to ensure survival when her body is taking the toll of the pregnancy. (That cave man/ cave woman instinct can't be entirely re-shaped because of a 21st century preferred way of doing life).

Paternity certainty is vitally important to a male! A man wants to know that the baby she is carrying belongs to him. (Ultimately, only the woman will carry that knowledge). Men value women who can be trusted in that regards.

Therefore, early on in the relationship, men separate women into two categories:
1) Easy to get – sexually; or 2) Not easy.

The “Not easy” choices become possible long term partner potentials. The “easy sexually” are for hookup and not long term partner potentials.

A woman needs dopamine and oxytocin for bonding. It is interesting that after intercourse, a woman's evaluation of the man tends to go up. So, females will more frequently be bonding during the hook-up, but quite the contrary for males. In males, within 10 seconds of orgasm/ejaculation, his evaluation of her may be going down. There is a conflict between males and females during that hook-up situation. It is not a level playing field. Women's bonding is going up and men's bonding is going down. (All credit to Joe Malone PhD, CFE, LWMC, CPT, The Sexual Integrity Scientist, https://www.drjoemalone.com/, Author: Battles of the Sexes, Founder: Sex IQ, https://www.sexiq.org/)

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Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs) is a Relate trained and experienced Relationship counsellor, Mediator and undertakes Sex Therapy & Sex Addiction treatment. He is also a member of the National Counselling Society, the Association for the Treatment of Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity (ATSAC), stopSO, and an Accredited member of the Assoc of Christian Counsellors. He also practices EMDR (Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) as an Accredited EMDR Practitioner, working with clients globally via secure webcam.

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