Sex Addict - Does life keep changing you!

On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre

Consider these Life Stages by Dr Thomas Armstrong, Ph.D (www.institute4learning.com):

"Here are what I call the twelve gifts of the human life cycle:

1.         Prebirth:  Potential – The child who has not yet been born could become anything – a Michelangelo, a Shakespeare, a Martin Luther King – and thus holds for all of humanity the principle of what we all may yet become in our lives.

2.         Birth:  Hope – When a child is born, it instills in its parents and other caregivers a sense of optimism; a sense that this new life may bring something new and special into the world.  Hence, the newborn represents the sense of hope that we all nourish inside of ourselves to make the world a better place.

3.         Infancy (Ages 0-3):   Vitality – The infant is a vibrant and seemingly unlimited source of energy.  Babies thus represent the inner dynamo of humanity, ever fueling the fires of the human life cycle with new channels of psychic power.

4.         Early Childhood (Ages 3-6):  Playfulness – When young children play, they recreate the world anew.  They take what is and combine it with the what is possible to fashion events that have never been seen before in the history of the world.  As such, they embody the principle of innovation and transformation that underlies every single creative act that has occurred in the course of civilization.

5.         Middle Childhood (Ages 6-8):  Imagination – In middle childhoood, the sense of an inner subjective self develops for the first time, and this self is alive with images taken in from the outer world, and brought up from the depths of the unconscious.  This imagination serves as a source of creative inspiration in later life for artists, writers, scientists, and anyone else who finds their days and nights enriched for having nurtured a deep inner life.

6.         Late Childhood (Ages 9-11):  Ingenuity – Older children have acquired a wide range of social and technical skills that enable them to come up with marvelous strategies and inventive solutions for dealing with the increasing pressures that society places on them.  This principle of ingenuity lives on in that part of ourselves that ever seeks new ways to solve practical problems and cope with everyday responsibilities.

7.         Adolescence (Ages 12-20):  Passion –  The biological event of puberty unleashes a powerful set of changes in the adolescent body that reflect themselves in a teenager’s sexual, emotional, cultural, and/or spiritual passion.  Adolescence passion thus represents a significant touchstone for anyone who is seeking to reconnect with their deepest inner zeal for life.

8.         Early Adulthood (Ages 20-35):  Enterprise –  It takes enterprise for young adults to accomplish their many responsibilities, including finding a home and mate, establishing a family or circle of friends, and/or getting a good job.  This principle of enterprise thus serves us at any stage of life when we need to go out into the world and make our mark.

9.         Midlife (Ages 35-50):  Contemplation – After many years in young adulthood of following society’s scripts for creating a life, people in midlife often take a break from worldly responsibilities to reflect upon the deeper meaning of their lives, the better to forge ahead with new understanding.  This element of contemplation represents an important resource that we can all draw upon to deepen and enrich our lives at any age.

10.   Mature Adulthood (Ages 50-80): Benevolence – Those in mature adulthood have raised families, established themselves in their work life, and become contributors to the betterment of society through volunteerism, mentorships, and other forms of philanthropy.  All of humanity benefits from their benevolence.  Moreover, we all can learn from their example to give more of ourselves to others.

11.   Late Adulthood (Age 80+):  Wisdom – Those with long lives have acquired a rich repository of experiences that they can use to help guide others.  Elders thus represent the source of wisdom that exists in each of us, helping us to avoid the mistakes of the past while reaping the benefits of life’s lessons.

12.   Death & Dying:  Life – Those in our lives who are dying, or who have died, teach us about the value of living.  They remind us not to take our lives for granted, but to live each moment of life to its fullest, and to remember that our own small lives form of a part of a greater whole".

Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.

Bringing colour back to life - without Shame.

Key words: sex addiction, addicted, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, therapy, sex therapy, podcast, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, couples therapy, sex therapy, emdr, love addiction, behavior,

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 1:11

Sex porn love addiction is all about self-soothing to manage your emotions. It's got set up back in the childhood years. It's just not about sex, it's not about porn. It's all about the repeated use, the setup, the physiology to crave those dopamines, the retonent oxytocin, self-manufactured drugs in the body. It's impacting women, men, children aged 10 to 75 across all the age ranges, the sexes, the cultures, the professions. It increased exponentially during COVID lockdown and impacting so many lives. The Kairos Centre has created the first online comprehensive sex porn love addiction. It's a video on demand recovery program which you can access from anywhere in the world and begin to see identifiable changes just within six weeks of beginning this weekly program. Kairos means your appointed time. Isn't it your time to reclaim your life? Bring colour back to life without shame. Click the link below and begin your journey. You owe it to yourself and to others. Let us get acquainted with the stages of life and the life stage adjustments expected during the different phases of life. And please note that the last of the two stages that I'm going to take you through are not really governed by a person's age. The next phase is middle age. That marks the period of age 40 to age 60. It's the first signs of aging. I guess for some of us back in our 30s, I found the grey hair. First early signs of aging and the effects of lifestyle changes, including menopause. For us men, not quite getting those spontaneous erections that we used to get in younger age when you wanted to get up from the desk and go somewhere in an office environment or a public environment. And you realize what's going on down there? And you can't quite get up so quickly because you've got to wait for something to go down and dis oh Gary, move on. This is so creep. It's a part of life, isn't it? But those spontaneous erections are not quite the same as they used to. Things are changing. Retirement health problems. Medication. I don't go to the doctors. I've never been to the doctors for twenty years. And now I've been to the doctors twice in six months. What's going on? The dentist. The amount of treatment and I never go to the dentist apart from my six monthly checkup, which you shouldn't be doing. My doctor's notes are so few because now that can be quite traumatic. Medication for what? First time for some It may cause concern. Children getting ready to flee the nest, leave the home. Grandchildren? Ah, that is drawing. I don't you dare call me a grandparent at what can be quite impactful, anxiety provoking. Your career peak. Not quite the age for slipping off into the cruise and the sunset, but getting close to it, if we can afford it, that is. All these things may all take a toll on the person's mental and physical health. Now remember, it's not just you wake up one day and it's just happening. There may be a transitionary period where something is evoking change and anxiety, and it's happening over a period of time in the partnership, it's showing something's different about you, but we can't and you can't put your finger on this change happening to you. And of course, some of the things is not welcomed, absolutely not welcomed, because it marks shift, it marks aging. Happens to us all. You're gonna fight it, or you're gonna transition into it as a necessary next phase in life. But first you've got to understand it and you've gotta see it. Let's look at the age 60 onwards, more signs of aging. Lifestyle effects, some of those sporting activities that probably long time ago we had to shift from and change from and adjust and do something different or not do anything for a long time so that bodily shape shifts. Retirement which is getting later and later, but the fact is the body is getting ready to slow down how we used to do physical and emotional and other activities. Health problems perhaps become more irregular. Medication may increase. The body isn't doing what it used to do years ago. It's not recovering from those sporting activities like it used to do years ago. There's a strain on our life from different aspects of the activities that we do. And the next phase is the dependent old age. In brackets it says optional stage. Oh, do you get to opt out of this one? What it says is the feeling of being dependent and requiring assistance may disturb a person and may reduce their ability to enjoy life. Remember, I'm hoping that those that have been married for 45 years, 65 years will still purchase this relationship webinar and be working through this. So this really does apply to you in your older age. Life stage changes. So many of us get ready to retire, but don't think about a course on retirement. A course on retirement? Yes, just like you do an apprenticeship to prepare you for the job you're going to do for 30 odd years. Do a course on retirement to prepare you for the life stage you're going to do for a lot of years into your future before you depart from this planet. The next phase is the end of life stage, and this is the time when a person realizes that he, she is close to the end of life on this planet. So the end of life may require a lot more preparation, a lot more conversation, certainly a lot more love and affection and care. Lots of reflections about a life lived, the regrets, the guilt, the shame, the wish I had, the pocket lists that I never completed. So let us see some of the ways that we can seek assistance in transitioning through these life stage changes rather than trying to avoid them or jump out of them. So something about coping with life stage adjustments. And there are multiple ways that therapist counselor can help us transition, work through these life stage adjustments that are needed. Things like assisting in accepting the life stage changes. That's not easy for a lot of us. How to work with you towards your standards, your values, your principles. Some of them you may have trashed in the past. There's something about finishing well. So whilst you still breathe, whilst you still have life, you have the potential to change. No matter what age you are, there are times when we may have to work towards things like forgiveness of other people, where we've left a trail of destruction. That forgiveness may not always mean approaching the other person, but it may involve something about self-compassion for ourselves, offering forgiveness without going to the other person. Remember the terrorist attack. You may never see that terrorist who caused injury, harm to your family, friends, but you've suffered the pain for years. But learning to be able to forgive them releases you to be able to reclaim your life and come back into the land of the living fully. Working towards setting your standards, better disciplines that might help you to achieve your goals, your aspirations. Also can teach you how to take steps to more likely achieve those goals. Those aspirations, those bucket lists. Counseling therapy can help you recognize the stage that you're going through so that you can learn to recognize the feelings, the emotions, and as such, guide you through this transition. Help you to deal with the discomforts, the insights, the manifestations of choices made back there that are now playing out now, including in families, in friends, in how you help to shape them and the manifestations you're now seeing coming out of them, your own children. There may be regrets about bad choices made, but are now impactful in other people's lives or playing out in how a next generation, your children, relatives, are doing their life. It may be you've become dependent upon compulsive behaviors, addiction behaviors, substances, alcohol, drugs, porn, as coping strategies. There's help available to help you transition out of such stages, such patterns of behavior. You can turn your life change, your life stage changes development into triumphs. Yes, you can, but you might need some help with some skilled individuals to come alongside you. Remember, this process of counseling therapy is called the talking cure. Talking can make another difference. This might be an area where you want to do some individual work on you, separate from the other person. Send me a message. Let's do some work without shame and bring colour back to life. Send the email, send the message to me, Gary McFarlane at the Chiral Center. And let's begin to reclaim your quality of life.