Got to, got to start to like myself; even to Love myself

On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre

Negative thinking is also a form of meditation - meditation on the wrong thing.

CBT (Cognitive Behavioural) principles kick in - which tells us - my thinking (whether negative or positive) will always determine and lead to my behaviour. Therefore, a negative schema is being set up, such that negative behaviours are merely following the pre-determine trajectory set in place by cognitive/thinking.

Change comes from the principle: "If you can change your mind, you can change your life" ie If you can change your thinking, you can change the trajectory of your life.

When you think about a ship's trajectory, visualise the fact of a one degree shift in the rudder and where that ship will be in just one hour. Change is all about small degrees of shifts; no big leaps. Quickly gone = quickly return - when it comes to Sex/Porn/Love Addiction Recovery.

At the Kairos Centre, we do not speak about someone gaining sobriety until 1 year from the last acting out. It takes time to rewire the brain and install new neural pathways, coming out of new thinking.

May it be said of you: "I am now in control of my life. It was not always so". "How you think when you lose determines how long it will be until you win." — G.K. Chesterton

Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.

Bringing colour back to life - without Shame.

Key words: sex addiction, addicted, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, therapy, sex therapy, podcast, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, couples therapy, sex therapy, emdr, love addiction, behavior,

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 1:11

Sex porn love addiction is all about self-soothing to manage your emotions. It got set up back in the childhood development years. It's just not about sex, it's not about porn. It's all about the repeated use to set up the physiology to crave those dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, self-manufactured drugs in the body. It's impacting women, men, children, aged 10 to 75 across all the age ranges, the sexes, the cultures, the professions. It increased exponentially during COVID lockdown and impacting so many lives. The Kairos Center has created the first online comprehensive sex porn love addiction. It's a video on demand recovery program which you can access from anywhere in the world and begin to see identifiable changes just within six weeks of beginning this weekly program. Kairos means your appointed time. Isn't it your time to reclaim your life? Bring colour back to life without shame. Click the link below and begin your journey. You owe it to yourself and to others. Research has shown that people with depression have what is referred to as an attentional bias for negative self-relevant materials. They also have impaired attention control, which means once a negative schema, way of behaving, repeated way of behaving pattern is activated, they tend to ruminate on it and have difficulty disengaging and shifting their attention to something else. Consequently, their sustained negative effort. Essentially, people with depression generally spend a good deal of time thinking about what they don't like about themselves, and they have a hard time stopping that negative rumination. The more time you spend thinking about something, the more active it becomes in your mental space. You see, negative thinking is meditation. It's consistently thinking about something that is negative. It is meditation, and it becomes easier to keep on keeping on thinking about the negative and ruminating about the negative. It is just a pattern, a repeated pattern that just gets set up in your life, becomes a neural pathway, way of thinking. And your thinking is always going to lead to your behavior. Remember that? The CBT, the cognitive. What is going on in my thinking, and I'm ruminating on, thinking about, pondering on, reflecting on on a regular basis through the day is absolutely going to become the behavior that I go on to do. My thinking will lead to my behavior practices. It's all about changing your thinking. If you can change your thinking, you can change your life. That's pretty big. You can move your life from going in one trajectory to a whole different trajectory. And just imagine what that might look like in one year, two years, where you shift the trajectory of your life. No quick fixes. Took you a while to get to where you are. It's going to take a little bit to get you to the place you want to get to. Need to get to. Are you like that? Fixating on the ambiguous comment that turns it into a stream of thinking that can go on for a long time. Days. Weeks. And yet you don't do that with the ten compliments. Oh, that was so nice. That was all wonderful. And you certainly don't carry that into the next few days. The rumination might be what's wrong with that item of clothing? It probably looked silly in it. If that person noticed it, then everybody else must have noticed it. I must have looked an idiot. I stayed so long at the party, I should have just gone home and changed and or probably just stay at home. What's wrong with me? I can't get anything right. Ah, that was so humiliating. I'm not gonna go back to any parties for a long time. If ever. Downward, downward, downward, downward, downward, downward spiral of negative thinking. You gotta start something to bring you back out of the downward, downward spiral. So you start to go up and up. And this sense of well-being exercise is such a simple one to start with. You will need some help to get you back to recede the negative and bring you back into a much more wholesome, healthy way of thinking and behaving, including towards yourself. Research also shows that it requires more attention and effort. In other words, it's got to be purposeful and intentional effort. It won't just happen. You've got to be intentional and purposeful to disengage from a negative thought pattern, thought processes. It's a simple exercise. It does require effort to start off with, but once you get in a role of doing it repeatedly, the neural pathway will kick in to remind you to do it before you go to bed, to do it when you wake up. Make a start. As you do the exercise, as you make a start, you'll begin to become aware of more positive attributes. And those positive attributes become more available to you. And you might actually start to reinterpret events somewhat differently. See them through a different lens, a more positive lens than the negative one that you have got used to seeing yourself and your actions through. Stick with it. Stay with it. Remember, there's no benefit to your mental health in just understanding how the exercise works. It's about doing. You've got to do. You've got to do. Send me a message. It's time to get your relationship back onto a better footing for your future. Let's do some work without shame and bring color back to life. Send the email, send the message to me, Gary McFarlane at the Chiral Center. And let's begin to reclaim your quality of life.