170 Journaling In Your Awakening Process

William Cooper explains awakening as a two-part process: discovering one's true self while letting go of the beliefs, emotions, and mental patterns that obscure it. Journaling can be helpful in that process. He describes a journaling practice he used for years in which he wrote whatever came to mind without censoring or analyzing it, allowing deeply repressed emotions and painful thoughts to surface and gradually dissolve through simple awareness. He says this practice helped him become more open spiritually, citing teachings such as "to see is to be free" and "awareness is curative," and even credits it with preparing him for profound spiritual experiences. He then introduces a second type of journaling—a gratitude journal—which he says became effective after much of his emotional suffering had eased, because gratitude reconnects a person with their true nature of peace, love, joy, and well-being while the first journal releases everything that is not their authentic self.

These podcasts are meant to supplement your personal path of awakening whatever that might be. They are a compilation of what I have found to be the most helpful over the last 50 years on my path of awakening. I feel these podcasts are most powerful when listened to in sequence from podcast one forward because each is built on the last.  Though they, also, all stand on their own.  Since we are each a bit different, if anything does not resonate, please disregard it and follow your heart. All my podcasts and website are here and free. Enjoy!

Though I am a psychotherapist, and these podcasts are offered to be spiritually helpful, they are not psychotherapy.  If psychotherapy is ever needed, please reach out to a psychotherapist.

www.williamecooper.wordpress.com for more support.  You may, especially, enjoy the short contemplations and the resource page which gives you some supportive material.

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(Transcribed by TurboScribe. Go Unlimited to remove this message.) Hello, this is William Cooper. Welcome to Awakening Together, Relaxing into Happiness. I trust you're doing well. Today, let's talk about journaling on our path of awakening. Often people ask me, what is awakening? And I tell them, awakening is you without your problems. The best you without your problems. That's you awakened. The process of awakening is very simple. It's twofold. First, getting to know who you truly are, while secondly, releasing and dissolving all old perspectives and filters and attitudes that delude you or cloud you or cut you off from yourself. So first, getting to know yourself along with simultaneously releasing all that's hindering you or blocking you, holding on to who you are and releasing who you're not. This is the process we follow in this series of podcasts and they're most powerful because they're built one upon the other if you start with podcast one and work your way forward. However, if this topic is of interest to you, you might like podcast 160 entitled Melting Into Beauty and Releasing All Else. In other words, resting in your true self, melting into beauty, and releasing all that you're not. So how does journaling fit into all of this? Well, I remember about 30 years or so ago, I was in so much pain and suffering and I was so, so blocked. I was seeing and talking with lots of spiritual teachers from all over, yet deep inside, I was so blocked. I was doing everything I could and I wanted to melt some of these blocks to move forward in the process the best that I could. So I used one form of journaling to get myself flowing. The way that I felt and the way that I looked at it is it felt like deep inside of me there were layers and layers and layers of repression that were frozen deep inside. And because there were so many layers and I was so blocked and nothing was moving and nothing was unfreezing or very little, I should say, that it just felt like I was totally stuck. So how could I melt that? How could I get it moving? How could I get it flowing? Well, I started a very simple process. I would sit down at my computer every morning, first thing, and I would type whatever came to my mind with no editing, no censorship, no anything, realizing it was just a bunch of junk that might have been repressed 40 years ago, 30 years ago, 20 years ago, or past lives, or centuries ago if it was past lives, whatever. It doesn't really matter, past lives or not. It was there and it needed to flow. So I just sat down and type whatever came to my mind. And I would type things like, I feel this, I feel that, I feel this, I feel that, or I don't feel anything, I'm stuck, I don't feel anything, I'm stuck, I'm stuck, I'm stuck, or I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I don't feel anything, oh, I feel so bad, I feel this, I feel that, I feel bad, I feel horrible, oh, it was just terrible stuff, this and that and this and that and this and that. I did that every day for years. This process started to melt all that junk, all those blocks, all those things that I was not, all these misperceptions and delusions and hurts and traumas and unforgiveness and blame and guilt and anger and resentment, all this stuff that was just one layer after the other. And I was so cut off from my true self that I was suffering. And because I was suffering so much, I would even put a layer over that and be very organized and focused and I would get through life and I was successful because my junk underneath was so suppressed with even yet this other layer that a lot of it, I didn't even realize how bad off it was under the surface until I started journaling. And as one layer melted off, as it was exposed to the fresh air and to my awareness and it just came to the surface and melted away, then another layer and then another layer, it went on for years and years and years and years. I don't expect that you're as bad off as I was. I hope not, but I'm here to say that it really did help. Later, I went to India and my guru, Bhagavan, had a couple things he would say. One was, to see is to be free. So as that stuff melted, I got more clarity and as I got more clarity, I could see myself better, my true self, and as I could see better, more could melt away and then I could see better and then more could melt away. So that was a true phrase for me. And then another thing he said was, awareness is curative. By sitting there and just typing, I feel this, I feel that, and I did it non-judgmentally, I mean, all sorts of horrible things would come out and I would just keep typing, I feel this, I feel this, even if it was about what I just typed, oh, I feel ashamed, I feel terrible, I feel guilty, I feel this, I feel that, I feel this. I just kept at it for a half hour every day and then at the end of the half hour, I stopped. I didn't think about it anymore, I didn't ponder it, I didn't ruminate about it, I didn't go back through it again. It was just crap coming out, it was horrible, almost like a bad gas coming out of your system. You don't sit around and lurk in it, you just open a window and let it go. So that's what I did, I just let it flow out. And it really got things flowing over time. Also, I knew I was making progress, I knew I was opening, I knew I was flowing, and that was so important in my process. It made my other spiritual practices that I had been doing and that I developed after all of this, it made them more powerful because they weren't being blocked so much and I was freer to take things in, things were flowing again. So this is a kind of journaling that you can use if you're suffering, if you feel bad, it helps you release everything that you are not. Some people, I would imagine, would like to just delete it as soon as you write it every day because if somebody came across it and they looked at it, they'd go, oh my goodness, because you're not censoring yourself and you're saying every horrible thing that comes to mind. It might be about somebody that you truly love or something that you went through and you would never want anybody to see that stuff because it's unprocessed and frankly, it's deluded. Deluded, it is far from the truth. And that's the point, that's why you're letting it go. You're letting your delusions go. I went so far as putting a paragraph at the very beginning of all of this journaling saying all of this stuff, this is just journaling, I'm saying whatever comes to my mind, this is not to be taken seriously. If I got run over by a truck, just throw this, it's garbage, throw it away. Again, even safer if you get rid of it every day, perhaps. That's up to you if you decide to do this, but it is very effective and powerful. I don't know what you wanna call this kind of journaling. I'd say it's journaling to let go of who you're not. That's the key point. You're not any of this stuff. The whole reason you're journaling is for it to go. It's not to hold onto it. You're not aspiring to hold onto any of this stuff. It's quite the opposite. So this helps to dissolve who you're not. And by the way, this was the kind of journaling I was doing when Jesus and Archangel Michael appeared to me way back decades ago. And Jesus still is quite present with me always, but it was such a vivid and powerful meeting that went on for, I guess, a month. First with Archangel Michael, who later brought Jesus around once I made the, altar and meditation room the way Archangel Michael specified. It was pretty specific and wild. It really changed me. And I talk about it in podcast 81 if you haven't heard it. And really, like I said, because these podcasts are cumulative and one builds on top of the last, better if you start at number one if you haven't listened to these, but listen to any of them in any way that you'd like, ultimately follow your heart. And since we're talking about it, if this is a topic of interest, listen to podcast 81. And what happened there was because of this journaling. It opened me enough for this very powerful, profound event to occur, which I in no way was expecting. It was quite a surprise, but I was open enough for them to come through me. So journaling to release what you're not. The second aspect of awakening is getting to know who you are. And so journaling to get to know who you are. And I would call that a gratitude journal. It's very simple, yet very powerful. You can do it in lots of different ways as all spiritual practices, just follow your heart, modify whatever anybody tells you until it works for you. I didn't start with a gratitude journal because I was so blocked. I really couldn't feel gratitude. I mean, I guess I did, but it wasn't very powerful. I was really suffering. I can't emphasize that enough, really blocked, really suffering. That's how much the first kind of journal helped me. But once a lot of that stuff clears out, for me, I could feel more gratitude. So let's talk about a gratitude journal. Every morning, write down three things that you feel grateful about. In your life. And every evening before you go to bed, write down three great things that happened during the day. Three and three. Though as you'll see in a moment, it doesn't have to be three, could be more or less. These days, I use one in the morning and that's it. And I don't even write it down. I know that's probably not the best practice, but boy, is it powerful for me. And I'll explain in a bit. First, why is gratitude so helpful in getting to know yourself? Well, your true nature is peace, love, and wellbeing. Beyond that is everything that's uncreated as well. So on the deepest level, your empty fullness, you're the most full emptiness you could imagine, the potential of everything. When you get really unblocked, you discover that part of you, the deep, full, empty part of you intuitively. You can't discover that through any of your senses. And so journaling doesn't necessarily touch that, but it opens you up enough that your intuition can start to understand that very clearly. A gratitude journal touches more on the first waves of this powerful fullness that's beyond creation as it comes into this world. And it is felt as deep peace and wellness and happiness and joy, and that's who you are. You are those things and beyond. You're both beyond this world and in this world. And that part of you that's in this world is peace, love, joy. Gratitude is made of those things, peace, love, and joy, happiness. You'll notice when you feel very grateful, you feel so joyful. You feel at peace with the rest of the world. You feel fulfilled. You feel every good thing. And back to what is awakening, it's you, every good thing, your very best self without the problems. And what are those problems? It's all the stuff that you've released through your first journaling, the journal of letting go of all that you're not. So the second journaling, gratitude journaling, focuses you on who you are in this world. Gratitude, which is made of peace, love, and joy. It puts you in touch with yourself. So what's happening between these two journals? You're being put in touch with who you are and you're releasing all that you're not. I didn't use the gratitude journal until later for the most part. Could you use them both simultaneously? Yes, we're all different. Use what works. And that's the thing about spiritual tools. You play with them. You tailor them to fit you where you are today. And if you're somewhere else next month, you don't hold on to something that's no longer working for you. Let it go and move on to the next tool that opens you up further and further and further until you're awake, which is for the most part, feeling everything that you are, love, peace, joy, and beyond, and not being affected or having totally let go of all that you're not. When I say not being affected by who you're not, what I mean by that is if you rest in your true self, love, peace, and joy, and beyond, as Buddha would say, taking refuge in the Buddha, or Jesus would say, resting in the kingdom of heaven within, as you do that and some of your old repressed stuff that's still lingering around, as it comes up, it doesn't affect you so much because you're already resting in who you are and the powerful, vibrant, electric energy, radiant energy of who you are, vaporizes all this stuff that you're not. All this stuff that you're not is simply frozen consciousness, frozen into a shape that's hurtful. You can take water and freeze it into the shape of a knife, an ice knife, and that can hurt people, but ultimately it's just water. So as it melts back into water, it doesn't hurt anybody. It's life-giving and nurturing. Same with all consciousness. There's only one building block in the world, in existence, and that's consciousness, and it's twisted into all sorts of shapes. Some are hurtful and some are quite lovely, and that's what we call duality in this world. These journals help melt that duality one way or the other and help you become one with who you truly are through the gratitude journal and release who you're not through journaling for release. So I said that I would talk a little bit about how today I just use one thought of gratitude in the morning and that's it, and I don't even write it down, and it's very powerful. Let me explain that and give it a little bit of background. After I did my journaling for release, and I released quite a bit, I went deeper in my spiritual practices, and pretty much I just was immersed in gratitude. I was immersed in love, peace, and well-being, and I became friends with gurus and especially with Bhagavan that I was with for over 10 years. I've lost track, and he was so powerful that my life was pretty much bliss, love, and joy along with the things that I still had to release, but I was so much immersed and so in touch with that side of things, there just wasn't the need for a gratitude journal because it was all right there, and then as I continued my practices after Bhagavan and his wife Amma said that I shall go out on my own, as I continued and started over from scratch because I was no longer with them, and I started opening up again on my own, it's been so powerful. So I haven't really gravitated to a gratitude journal, though so many do that I wanted to include it in this podcast on journaling. However, what I do lately is as I start my day, one of the things I do is I go outside and I just take a moment and I feel and I see how glorious creation is. It's such a beautiful day. And I say to myself, it's a beautiful day, or I'm so grateful for this day. Now that one statement, because it comes so powerfully from my heart and is so true and is so deeply felt, it, oh, I don't know the word, it completely centers me instantly to the degree I wasn't centered, I am after that statement. So even that one statement of gratitude is so centering. I feel it deeply, I say it, and it is so. It already was so, but it's so all through my body, my nervous system, everything is just vibrant with that truth. So yes, I've modified the gratitude journal concept to fit me, and it does. It's really, really powerful. So these journals are very powerful. There's something that you can do now. If you're suffering, you can just get out a piece of paper and start writing. I took a random amount of time, 30 minutes, because that's what I could do. You might feel like, no, I can do five minutes. That's all I can do today. Or I can just do two minutes. I can just write stuff for two minutes. Do that. Consistent, daily, baby steps will get it done. So if you're suffering, just start writing or typing. I typed. But just let it come out, and don't get involved with it. It's not a story for you to get involved with, like, yes, they did this, and I should have done that, and that's me analyzing it, and that keeps it alive inside of me. Instead, if you notice how I describe my journaling is just I feel this, I feel that, I feel this, and just as it came out, I'd let it go. I didn't push it away. I just would feel it and let it fly by. That's very important that on the releasing journaling, you just feel it. You don't go out of your way to feel it more than you do, but you don't block it, because the point is is you're not repressing it anymore. You're just journaling. I feel this, I feel that, I feel this, I feel that, oh, oh, oh. Generally, it doesn't feel good is why I made those sounds, but you just let it go by. You let it go, and that's what unwinds it and helps it release. Pair that journaling with meditation, and now you've got something, especially the meditation I talk about in the first 10 podcasts of this series called the awakening meditation. It's very strong, it's very powerful, but you've got to do it in baby steps because it is that powerful, especially when it's paired with journaling. And then the second thing, the gratitude journal, the whole point of that is to feel it. So it's not just writing it down, oh, I'm thankful for flowers and trees and my dog. No, it's you write down about flowers, I'm thankful about flowers, and you be specific. There's this purple flower, this violet flower that smells so wonderful, and it's so beautiful, and there's a tree full of them across the street. I love it. And you feel it, you feel it. And perhaps sometime during the day, you even go over to the tree, maybe, I don't know. Do whatever, tailor it to you, but feel, that's gratitude. What's the point is that because you're feeling it, you are it, you are what you feel. That gratitude comes from the infinite. There is only one gratitude in the universe, one love, one peace, one wellbeing, that all comes from the infinite. It's all made of the infinite. Remember when Jesus would do things and somebody would come up to him and say, oh, good teacher, blah, blah, blah. And he would say, who are you calling good? There's only one good, and that's God. Or when he would heal somebody and they would say something about him healing, and there's only one that heals, that's God. There's only one good, there's only one blessing, there's only one peace, there's only one love, it's all God. And it comes through our body, it comes through us. We are one with the infinite. It comes through us. As we let go of all of our blocks, the infinite can use us, can come through us. So when somebody said to Jesus, good teacher, and he said, there's only one good, that's God, you can read about that in Mark 10, 18 and other places in the Bible, if you'd like. Otherwise, you can do your gratitude journal and experience it yourself. There is only one good, there is only one peace, there is only one wellbeing. How do you experience the infinite? Do your gratitude journal, feel gratitude. And that is the infinite. Let everything else go and all that's left is the infinite. And since we're taking podcasts out of order at the moment, you could check out podcast 158, which is flow and let go. Right on topic with what we're talking about now. So journaling can be very helpful. It's a tool you can use right now, easily. Modify it, make it work for you. Okay, I hope this is helpful and I look forward to talking to you next time. Take care, bye.