Conflicting Loyalties : From Mob Enforcer to Self-Discovery - Aiden Gabor : 151

What if the path from darkness to light is closer than it seems? Aiden Gabor's tumultuous journey from a life steeped in crime to a powerful transformation is a profound example of the strength of change and resilience.

A former associate of a notorious crime family, Aiden spent over a decade as a DOJ informant and undercover officer, leading to the conviction of numerous corrupt officials. Forced into a double life, he juggled his loyalty to family with his duty to expose corruption, navigating the dangerous line between survival and justice.

His struggles with addiction and personal demons paved the way for spiritual healing, ultimately finding peace in the Bahá'í faith. In his acclaimed book, "Conflicting Loyalties", Aiden shares his remarkable story, offering hope and inspiration for anyone seeking redemption. Diagnosed with ALS in 2020, he now lives with his wife, continuing to spread his message of transformation.

Let's enjoy his story!

https://conflictingloyalties.com/

Chapters

• 8:50 Family Trauma and Life Choices
• 19:03 Betrayal and Loyalty in Law Enforcement
• 28:45 A Spiritual Journey of Redemption
• 32:56 Journey of Transformation and Empathy

Transcript

Daniela SM: 0:04

Hi, I'm Daniela. Welcome to my podcast. Because Everyone has a Story, the place to give ordinary people's stories the chance to be shared and preserved. Our stories become the language of connections. Let's enjoy it, connect and relate, because everyone has a story. Late, because everyone has a story. Welcome.

Daniela SM: 0:31

My guest is Aidn Gabor, though that's not his real name and he uses a distorted voice to protect his anonymity, so it is sometimes hard to understand him. Aidan's story is fascinating, Like watching a movie. He was an associate of notorious crime family but spent over a decade as an undercover officer and informant for the Department of Justice. Living a double life wasn't easy. He had to balance loyalty to his family with his mission to expose corruption, walking a dangerous line between survival and justice. That contributed to addictions and personal struggles, but those challenges eventually led him to a spiritual healing and peace in the Baha'i of faith. He's still on his journey of self-improvement, but he's come an incredibly long way. His story proved that transformation is always possible, no matter how dark things start. So let's enjoy his story. Welcome, Aidan, to the show.

Aiden Gabor: 1:31

Thank you, thank you, dear, for inviting me.

Daniela SM: 1:33

My pleasure that you're here and I know you have an interesting story, very different from all the guests that I had. Why do you want to share your story?

Aiden Gabor: 1:41

You know, at first I did not want to write the book but uh, my friend sam told me it would be great for therapy. But my story is more like that. You know, you can be in a dark place bad person. You can come into the light, you can change yourself. So you can go from being a very bad person to very uh, being helpful society. You can just transform yourself from being that way. Plus, I also want to understand that police officers are getting a bad rap, that they're all bad. One bad police officer makes 100,000 good ones look bad. But there are people out there taking down the bad politicians and police officers out there, down the bad politicians and police officers out there. So you know, don't blame every police officer you see by one or two bad ones. But you've got to understand there are people trying to remove them too.

Daniela SM: 2:34

All right, so we are ready for a good story. I agree with what you're saying, because I have met people that were in the wrong path and then they change and they are lovely people now working really hard for a very good cause. Yes, ma'am, thank you. So, aidan, when did your story start?

Aiden Gabor: 2:50

Well, it really started when I was like 9, 10. I grew up in a family and my dad was an associate with a well-known, considered crime family. We used to have like gatherings, I guess you would say like barbecues, and we would get together and it started out where you would. Anytime you had respect for everybody. But when you, when you, when you're younger, and the old ones ask you to grab something, do something, you did it. And so I learned from then. You know, I did whatever thing and you know, for my age, I was big for my age and I used to get in little scuffles with guys that were four or five, six years old. I mean, I would win a lot of the times, you know fights.

Aiden Gabor: 3:30

I never gave up on that and I think we had a the cowboy, his name was Eddie. He saw something in me, I think because of just the way I was. But he told me one day hey, come to my aid and give me a chance. Stop by the shop. I got something for you I'd like you to do for me. All right, throw my bike over there. He said, take this package and he gave me an address to this person and then sometimes said, hey, they may give you something to bring you back. You come back, you know. But if there's anything you do you don't look on your way there, don't stop and talk to anybody and don't look at anything on your way back. The same thing. So I go drop off a package or whatever it is, an envelope, and then I come back. You give me $20, $30, $40. And back then, you know, I would go with my buddies to the candy store. I was the king. You know we'd get $20, $30 worth of candy. Back then we had a pretty good haul.

Daniela SM: 4:23

Yeah, I can imagine.

Aiden Gabor: 4:24

Yeah, so this all started then.

Daniela SM: 4:26

What year was this more or less?

Aiden Gabor: 4:28

Around about the 70s.

Daniela SM: 4:29

And then this is in the US. Yes, ma'am, All right. Yes, I can imagine how that was. $30 was a lot of money.

Aiden Gabor: 4:37

Oh yeah, oh yeah, yeah. My buddies. They're like where are you getting this? I'm like, oh, I'm just doing things at a friend's house. You know I would go where Eddie's and if I wasn't doing that I would sweep around. They had a little social club there too. It was a garage like for cars, and then right around the back of it they had a big area to have like a social area. Everybody kind of get around, a little kitchen in there and stuff. I would sweep in there if I'm not doing anything, or sweep in the garage and make some money that way.

Daniela SM: 5:05

But that's how it all started for me but your parents were also involved in this group. Or you were, or you would just happen to be the only one no, my dad was my dad an associate with them.

Aiden Gabor: 5:15

But my dad had a real job too and he worked a lot. So if he wasn't doing stuff with them going to Vegas or Stardust or anything like that then he would be with me. You know, I would, he'd be with them or he'd be at work.

Daniela SM: 5:30

In the 70s. Is this an Italian mob?

Aiden Gabor: 5:33

It was a few-star Italian mob.

Daniela SM: 5:34

All right, okay, and then. So what happened? You were the king, and what happened then?

Aiden Gabor: 5:39

Well, you know, I just worked my way up. I started, you know, as I got older, the guys. There was a guy named Nicky you know, he's not really in the book, but he was. You know, the guys were showing me. So I learned how to use an ice pick, a knife or an ice pick mostly, and Nicky showed me exactly how to use it. And back then I was like, yeah, this old guy is kind of weird. And then I was taught how to shoot a gun. They and then I was taught how to shoot a gun. They taught me how to drive. They taught me how to steal cars and I worked my way up. I sold a couple cars as I got over 15, 16. Then I started driving for Eddie.

Aiden Gabor: 6:16

You know, I got some scuffs over there. I mean, we had a guy who was like Eddie's right hand man named Dominic and him and I got into it one time. He used to just push me around and kind of disrespect me and we were told you know what? Don't be disrespected, respect. And one day he just shoved me and I hit the ground. I picked up a pipe and I went and I hit him as hard as I can. He turned around with the gun and put it to my face and he's like enough enough. Now I got yelled at. He says you says you don't understand who you're respecting and disrespecting. He's disrespecting me. He goes I understand, I get what you're doing, but you got to know the right people to do this to.

Aiden Gabor: 6:52

Eddie had me kind of drive, warm and stuff and I'd go around with him and then I would learn with Dominic how to collect. We'd go to places that we got money for, like protection, and then we had people because I it was a gambling and we would loan and gamble place and they also had prostitution, but I wasn't allowed to do anything with the prostitution, being like a young man in my teens. And then we would steal cars as a shop shop we did something, I would collect and and be enforced by the people. We never had an issue with the stores not paying. They always paid. You know some complained, but not too much. But you know we had issues with these genetic gamblers that would, you know, borrow the money or do something and they wouldn't pay it back.

Aiden Gabor: 7:39

But the first time I went out with Dominic just the two of us, we were sitting in the car, he was driving. He looks over and punches me in the face as hard as he can and I mean it's like when I was wondering, you see everything spinning and he said that's for when you hit me. You know disrespect, you know I don't like you but I'm going to deal with you. And then you know we were just going to collect and there was a couple times, you know, we got into it with people. I got stabbed one time. You know. I got caught a couple of times, gotten some bites with people that wouldn't want to collect or try to run.

Daniela SM: 8:10

How was the feeling Like? I mean, I'm sure it is invigorating or exciting to steal a car and not get caught, but what about the rest? Were you not scared, or what kind of personality you have to have to do it.

Aiden Gabor: 8:24

well, scared or what kind of personality you have to have to do it. Well, you know, I found out later in life that I had a personality that had no empathy for people and borderline, sociopath, psychotic, and I think you needed to have those at the time. Now, you know, sitting there trying to figure out how do you have these, these issues, you know. You know you don't care about people because when I hurt somebody I thought my whole feeling was it is what it is and it sucks to be them. I used to laugh. I mean, to this day I can't watch a horror movie or anybody getting hurt with my wife because I laugh. I think it's funny If someone's getting their arm, you know, chopped off or it's broken, I think it's funny and I don't know why I work on that every day. Later in life I found that out. I also found out that when I finally had a talk with my father, we finally met, you know, kind of talked, 10 years ago. We finally had a chat about, you know, my mother who passed.

Aiden Gabor: 9:20

I was a mom at this boy. They grew up in Budapest. So during World War II and during the Russian occupation, my mom and dad were partisans. I don't know if you remember what a partisan is. It's like the people out there that blow up things or disrupt the military and stuff. My mom one day would sit there when she was was passing and she was screaming about the Russians coming in and they're going to attack her and her sisters again. I didn't know this and so I asked my dad about this. When we finally talked he said your mom was part of. She was the scariest person in the world. I think after they did to her she would take, had this long spear thing and she would just stab these guys. She'd walk up to the soldiers and just stab them the Russian soldiers and run off and she's like I don't know how many she killed.

Aiden Gabor: 10:10

And I read a book from a woman that says what your parents do as a child, when traumatic things could be hereditary and that's could the doctors like that. That could be why you're the way you are. And so that's when you answer how my feelings were, why you're the way you are, and so that's that's how my feelings were. That's how it happened. I had none with it. I thought it was awesome. You know, as a kid it was great. Stealing a car was great. I mean, one time some clown came up trying to talk, like what are you doing? I'm calling the cops. I beat him up, really, really, really bad. I told him shove something into your mouth. And I felt even better. Then I thought that was awesome. I would go and bring up the car and get a couple thousand dollars for the car and they had certain ones they wanted. He got more, we, they preferred bmws I, I don't know why, probably easier to chop, and they would chop them up and ship the parts off and make more money off of it.

Daniela SM: 11:04

I didn't understand if your mom passed.

Aiden Gabor: 11:07

I grew up with my mom. I was a mama's boy, so I grew up with my mom. My mom was passing, she stayed with me and one day, when the storms were coming, she was screaming about the Russians coming in and she never talked about it. And they're doing this, they're going after her and her sister about it. And they're doing this. They're going after her and her sister. When I told my dad after I went to school that I was going into law enforcement, he disowned me and we didn't talk for 15 years. And then, like I said, 10 years ago, around that, we finally chatted and I had to ask him about mom and she told me about her going up. You know, she told me she grew up Jewish and she hid it from the Nazis. I didn't know that either and my father said yeah, we really don't talk about that that much. It's something she asked me not to talk about. He really hasn't talked about it to this day to me.

Daniela SM: 11:56

Wow, fascinating If the trauma can be passed through DNA. Wow, so you were with a mob but then you became a police officer.

Aiden Gabor: 12:19

Eddie came to me and said hey, the FBI is coming. They arrested Dominic. They arrested Nick, they arrested a couple of the other guys in the crew and he said you haven't been arrested, you need to leave. You go, make yourself better. I have to leave, I'm leaving the country. Just let me know. Just do me a favor, keep an eye on my son. I said yes, sir, I'm confused, he goes confused. He goes, go to school, make yourself. So he left. That's the last time I saw, seen eddie. I, I physically saw him. He left and I went to school and what happened was, as I'm in school, I'm sitting there at the dorm and these two clowns are up in their serious polyester suits looking at me.

Aiden Gabor: 12:58

I'm like, okay, it's like are you waiting? Oh yeah, who are you? And they're like you know we're here to talk to you. We need to go have a little chat. I'm they're like you know we're here to talk to you. We need to go have a little chat. I'm like am I in the rest? No, you want to be, because that could be happening right now. I thought to myself I'm just going to tell these guys to F off. I thought you know what, let me see what they want.

Aiden Gabor: 13:16

So I went with them and I had a green roof. I remember that we went in. These guys are sitting there like ordering coffee. You want something to eat? I'm like I'm really hungry, I'll have some orange juice. So they said, hey, check this out. We got some great pictures. You're going to love this.

Aiden Gabor: 13:38

So he throws this envelope in front of me and I open up. In it it's me with Dominic, me with Eddie, me with with Nick, me much more times with Eddie. Then shows my dad with Eddie, my dad with Nick and Nikki a lot of times and my with Dominic, and I'm just sitting there. I'm like, okay. Then they show me pictures of my mom with Eddie, my mom with the guys, with different guys and different ones, with Eddie. And I look and I go what's this? They go well, you know you've heard of this new law called RICO. I'm like, no, because we're your college boy, you know, go to your library or university and look up the new law. It's RICO. He says we got this. You know, we know what you've done. You're looking at like seven years in prison. We got you in a federal prison, which means you're probably have to serve like 50, some years minimum. And I'm like what? I really didn't care. I didn't care about my dad and they go. Well, your dad and your mother too, they're looking the same amount of time. Now, when they said my mom, that's that hit me. I'm like whoa, and you know I'm at that time I was, and I'm like wait, my mom, yeah, yeah, she's looking about the same amount of time.

Aiden Gabor: 14:50

No-transcript. I'm like what do you want me to do? They go, well, here's what you do. First, we want you to party out of school, play with some college girls. We'll give you some money, just party your way out. And when you're out at the end, you know, at the year next year we'll talk. But why don't you think about this? And so they left. They came back like two months later. I couldn't eat, I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I played like crap. And then they told me again. You decide, say, yes, sir, I guess I'll do it.

Aiden Gabor: 15:17

When I got home, I was home for a little bit and they said okay, I got a thing to meet at me and there's like two hours away, three minutes, this restaurant again. And they said this is what we need you to do right. You did great, so we need you to get on this police department. I looked at him and I said excuse me, you want me to be a cop? Yes, that's what you need to do. We're going to give you this department. We need you to get on. We'll tell you what you do once you get on. That was it.

Aiden Gabor: 15:48

So I went back home and I told my parents you know, school's just not for me. I don't want to be in school. My dad's like Aiden, what are you going to do? I said I want to be a cop. My dad lost it. You want to be a freaking flatfoot? Are you freaking nuts? I'm done. Get out of here, get out of this house. We're done. Get out. And I went to my mom. My mom's like Aiden, if that's what you want, just you know you. You're a dead man. You need to leave. Go, stay with your cousins. I got on this police department.

Daniela SM: 16:17

You couldn't tell them the truth.

Aiden Gabor: 16:19

No, they told me. If I ever talked about it or told anybody, the deal's off and I go right to prison. I'm 19 at the time. I just read about these new RICO laws. I'm hard to appoint, but I was a mama's boy. I was so worried about my mom so I did what they asked. As a mama's boy, I was so worried about my mom so I did what they asked. I got on this department and the first thing they said is we got a police officer on here. After I got on, went to the academy, they said we got a police officer here that we think is being a hitman for another crew. And I was just like you guys kidding me. You actually want me to look for that you think is a hitman for a crew. You guys can't make this shit yet. That's what we want.

Daniela SM: 17:00

The thing is that your father knew that you were going to the police and so he will tell the rest of the people, so you were not on the cover or anything like that.

Aiden Gabor: 17:07

No, what they told me was you're not going undercover, you're going in as an informant. So basically, we're not going to have any backup. We're not going to have any backup, we're not going to protect you. If something goes wrong, it's okay, we're okay with it if something goes wrong. So we just want information. So you're just going in as an informant, that's it. No, my dad didn't say shit. My dad really didn't say nothing. He was just so mad at me he didn't know what I was doing. He thought I wanted to be a cop. My dad, to this day, doesn't know.

Daniela SM: 17:42

Oh really, so you couldn't tell him the truth by now?

Aiden Gabor: 17:46

No, I wanted to, but my dad's got a worse temper than me. I figure I'm going to wait a little bit longer with the book before I tell them about it, because I don't know how his reaction is going to be. I'm going to be honest with you I love him, but I learned a lot from him too, as far as being brutal, but you know.

Aiden Gabor: 18:13

Wow that's cool. Yeah, they wanted me to get on. So the first guy they wanted me to talk to was a was a. When I I. It took me a long time, took me over a year. You know, I got on and this you ever met anybody with the most abrasive personality in the world that you meet them the first time you would just want to slap them or hit them. This was this guy. His name was Terry.

Daniela SM: 18:35

And let me jump forward for a moment. But since you said you had no empathy for other people, but you still have feelings for yourself, did he hurt you that your father didn't talk to you? Or do you have those feelings or you don't have those feelings either?

Aiden Gabor: 18:49

You know what I have feelings towards my good friends and family. There's a difference I learned. Family is everything. You protect your family, you give respect to each other, you respect until that somebody disrespects you. And then you come out guns blazing like this you could say, and you get disrespected my mom, I was a mama's boy. I love my mom to this day and I would do anything for her even though she's passed. And it's just like I love my mom to this day and I would do anything for her until she's passed. And it's just like, no, I have my wife. I would do anything for her and the family and my friends. I would do that. But, as you know, I really you know, yeah, my dad was brutal and I learned a lot from him, but you know, I have two boys and I was not a good husband or father when I was younger.

Aiden Gabor: 19:38

It took me until I met my current wife that I actually changed in my religion. I started getting spiritual, but prior to that I was a hardcore. I was a very mean person. Even when I was doing this stuff with the law enforcement and taking down bad police officers and politicians, I was still hardcore, because anybody that's never worked as a law enforcement or police officer. Men and women, they don't understand. It's a thing called a blue line, but nobody understands. You know what it's like to do this, you know. I think everybody should work one day in a big police department just to see the stuff that these men and women go through every day, and maybe they'll have a little more respect and understanding for them, because they deal with a cesspool of people, of life, and without them, anarchy will be all over. You couldn't even describe all these bad guys. All over there will be. You couldn't even describe all these bad guys and there's always going to be bad police officers, but there's always going to be somebody out there to try and stop them too.

Daniela SM: 20:41

When you were, you know, working for the mob and then you go to the police. Is there a difference? Did you see that there's completely? Can you say good and bad, or is it not really that way?

Aiden Gabor: 20:52

Yeah, there's a little difference and there really isn't, because when I, when I was doing stuff with the crew, it was respect and family. You don't, you don't say anything against your family, you don't do anything against their, against your. You know, your, the other people in the crew and I'm going to say this day, I never said anything to the law enforcement, anybody ever. Anybody was in the crew with anybody, even though they they thought I did. I never said a word. I would have told them to get up. But when it came to bad police officers and policy, when I was with the mob, when I was working with these guys in the crew we see these guys, I would interact with these bad police officers and the politicians. That's what I was bringing the money and picking up money from and picking up stuff from. And they'd be at the shop and I would say you policeman, yeah, yeah, you want to look at my badge? Sure, you know that type of thing. And there was a couple times there were a couple of federal guys I mean, are you a G-man? Yes, sir, and they'd be doing stuff with Eddie as I got older and what I think is what the reason that they came to me is I knew these people because the first town they went to was a town away from where I grew up and it was a guy that was pretending to be a hitman for a crew. And eventually he admitted to me and his wife was losing it and I told the guys I go, hey. I told the two clowns I go, hey, listen here, the wife's lost it. She wants to talk about it. It's killing her. You need to. You know you can get him right away. He's already admitted to me what he did. Now, if you want me to testify and you're like no, no, we don't want you to testify, we just want information. If you testify, you're one and done. We got some other plans for you. I'm thinking in my head great, these clowns want some more crap from me. And you know, they end up arresting him. And he ended up going to prison for doing these two hits he told me about and the wife turned on him. I gave him everything they needed.

Aiden Gabor: 22:44

Then they told me get on this other department. I go, really, which one? It's the one I grew up in, the town I grew up in. I'm like you're kidding me, you guys are ass. And they're like no, we need to get in, we and you need to do it. So I got on the department.

Aiden Gabor: 22:59

But right before I got on, the mayor and the commissioner, the police and fire called me in and they're like hey, you want to be a police officer? Yes, sir, he goes. Oh, I heard you another time. Yeah, there's all kinds of crap happening. I wanted out of there. Oh yeah, we heard, well, you're going to toe the line. Yes, sir, you're going to do what you've been told to be a good soldier. Whatever you need, sir, I will do whatever it takes. Whatever you guys ask of me, I will do it, you know. And they're like oh, okay, you're, toe the line, you'll be a good asset.

Aiden Gabor: 23:25

And then I got out of the department and I ended up, and when I worked for them, you know, I ended up taking down several you know, nine or ten bad police officers and four or five politicians. And when I first was doing the first one with Terry, terry was a drinker. I drank a little bit, but he was a gulper. I don't know if you know what a gulper is. That's somebody that's basically drinking to get drunk. They're an alcoholic. I became a golfer doing this and it started eating at me when I started going. They got me on a department where I grew up and I became a very bad alcoholic.

Aiden Gabor: 24:09

And during that time, you know, I've had hallucinations of St Michael, the guardian of law enforcement, coming after me with the flaming sword and telling me I'm betraying my brothers and sisters in law enforcement. Because in law enforcement, like I said, you have the thing called the blue line. You have blinders on. You don't talk about what they're doing, it's a law enforcement thing, it's an in-house thing, and you tow the blue line, you stay in that blue line. And I was having these bad realizations. I tried to kill myself because I couldn't talk about it. You know I didn't trust my wife at the time, my first wife because I used to joke that I worked for the other guy. You know, not very religious, I collect souls for the other guy. You know, not very religious, I collect souls for the other guy. And I married Satan's daughter. So that's how it was. You know, my ex was always more of her family. She would have talked about it. So I just started trying to kill myself.

Aiden Gabor: 25:19

I remember putting a magnum round in a .357 magnum, spinning the barrel, snapping it closed and putting it to my temple, in my mouth and on my chin and pulling the trigger and then dropping it. I know at least 200 times I remember doing that. I'd wake up where I'd have two or three rounds in the gun and I knew I had to pull the trigger. I mean, my buddy, don I know, who's a friend of mine, grew up with, who was a police officer in that town, found me drunk in his hotel. He said dude, you must have tried to kill yourself because you had a three seven between your legs with with two rounds in it and it was cocked back to go again and for some reason God had a reason for me not to kill myself. I know at least a thousand times I tried to kill myself and he would not let me.

Daniela SM: 26:03

For you, the challenge was that you couldn't trust anybody and you were in the middle of everything.

Aiden Gabor: 26:08

Yeah, yeah, to this day. I don't trust people. It's very hard to get close to me. I don't have many friends anymore. I don't trust anybody. I mean, I've had several attempts in my life, like I said, as a young guy I've been stabbed, besides trying to kill myself. I've had a couple dozen times of people putting guns in my face and I tell them pull the trigger, because you know, you see what you get out of this, what's going to happen to you.

Aiden Gabor: 26:33

I had to think a lot of times on my feet to get out of a certain situations, but I was always good at it and, yeah, that's how I got the book named Completing Loyalties, because I couldn't talk about it. I was betraying my brothers and sisters. I felt in law enforcement. I felt like I betrayed my family with working with the crew and everybody because I went into law enforcement. So they you know I do know what I'm doing. Now, where you can't see my face, my voice is a little distorted because there's been, like I said, several times, and I'm not worried about the guys that ran with they tried one time but they're almost all dead. It's the law enforcement guys I put away. They're starting to get out. They're looking for who did this for revenge and they've already confronted people. I know about this.

Aiden Gabor: 27:26

It was challenging in a lot of respects but you know, throughout the whole thing, you know, after I put away all these politicians and stuff, they were like, okay, we want to go to this casino and see what's going on there. And I went there and I said there's nothing going on here, it's like a bunch of crap boys. And I'm like okay. And then one day they said, hey, right, that's it, peace out, thank you. I thought maybe I'd become an agent. Yeah, they basically just say here's a little stipend, you have a great day. Bye, we're all done. Go be better in society.

Daniela SM: 28:01

The police say that.

Aiden Gabor: 28:02

Yeah, the DOJ Department of Justice who I was informing with, and they gave me some money. So that was it.

Daniela SM: 28:09

So you were free now, so you could do whatever you want.

Aiden Gabor: 28:12

Yeah, I just stayed with the casino. You know, my ex and I were done. What happened is they gave some money to us and I thought, okay, she's like what this? Well, I got injured and they thought she thought it was a settlement from when I got injured and she gave all the money to her family without my knowledge. I ended up leaving her. We ended up divorcing. You know, going around I met this woman who's my current wife. There's just something different about her. Who's my current wife. There's just something different about her. You know, the funniest thing with her is after we started dating.

Aiden Gabor: 28:45

Five years into dating, I found out that when I worked at my first apartment, I arrested this young girl for being in a bar underage. I was 20-something, this person I was 27. This person was like 16. I didn't think much of it. I remember going and arresting her. I remember booking her and taking pictures of her and then the next day I get a hey, that girl you got last night, that's okay, she's family. Well, her uncle's a cop and so and so plays. She's family. We uncle's a cop in so-and-so place. She's family. We cut her loose. She's a kid, understand? I was kind of pissed. I wrote all that report and paperwork for nothing. Good job there, aiden Thanks. So five years in our dating, I found out that was the woman I arrested when she was 16 years old.

Daniela SM: 29:35

And she didn't recognize you either.

Aiden Gabor: 29:36

No, she didn't. It's her uncle that recognized me. And then we got together and she called my buddies and she's like he's losing it. He's having night terrors, he's throwing me around, he's punching at things, he's hitting the wall, he's screaming, he's trying to handcuff me. She goes. I don't know what's going on. It's happening every night.

Aiden Gabor: 30:00

I was having bad night, terr night there. So they came over to talk to me and and kind of find out what's going on. Well, Don had to go back, Sam stayed with me and he's like no, here, read this. I'm like what do you want me to read? I'm not great reader, let's just read this. So it was a Baha'i writing. Because he's a a Baha'i, he goes this might help you. So I started reading and he was still up with her and as I was reading the Baha'i writings or I'll do Baha'i I was sitting outside and it's a nice sunny day, Finally, there's not a cloud in the sky and I got this feeling and I did not like the feeling.

Aiden Gabor: 30:34

It was really feeling weird inside. I went inside and screened her like what's wrong? I'm just feeling like she's sick. She's like I'm reading this crap from Abdul-Bahai. I mean, it just made me feel. She said no, that's not crap and it's you're feeling a little spiritual, it's because it's starting to get to you. I don't like it. She's like well, you need to get used to it. But you need to get used to it. But Sam's like here's some more Read, Read on up to the high end of the high faith. Sam's like. He says you need to write a book on your experience. Start now. I believe in that wholly now.

Aiden Gabor: 31:07

I never did that as a young person growing up, and I do this every day. Try to be a better person and, you know, try to help the world to be a better place, and that really, really helps me. Like I do a lot of things with special needs people, special Olympics, because I don't know if you ever met a special needs person, the world would look in their eyes and they love you. Hey, how much do you want to get a hug? Hey, no, they don't know my life story, they don't care, they just hey, there's a friend of mine. I'm going to give him a hug. I'm looking at now. That's the way the world should be. We should look through their eyes. Unless you really hurt them, they're always going to be your friend. I think the world should be that way.

Daniela SM: 31:47

Do you do trust people because they have guided you to a spiritual different path?

Aiden Gabor: 31:53

Yes, but it's very hard for me to trust anybody. I'm going to tell you right now, you know, even though I have ALS, and I have every I still carry a knife, pick and a gun with me, 24 seven. Wherever I go, I am always armed, my wife's like why.

Daniela SM: 32:09

And what about your kids? Do you have a relationship with them?

Aiden Gabor: 32:13

I do now. I really didn't growing up. I had a little bit when they were growing up. I wasn't up. I had a little bit when they were growing up. I wasn't around. I was like I said I was not a great father, but we do have. I talk to him several times a week. Yeah, I have a really good relationship with them right now.

Daniela SM: 32:29

That's good. Let's talk about your book. Yes ma'am, and I'm very happy that you have gotten to the place where you are now, so you decided to write this book right after you started with the Bahia group. How long did it take you to write this book?

Aiden Gabor: 32:43

It took about two and a half years to write this book, you know, because it's a memoir. So the funny story with it is you know, you're like this and they go oh, I forgot about that. Oh, I forgot about that. The memory starts coming back as you start going through it again, and I had some very bad night terrors. To start out, Serena was reading and goes okay, you're 16 here, you're 26 here, then you're back to 15, then you're 30, then you're 20. So you made it flow the way it is today. We took some stuff out together. You know, I had a ghostwriter which was amazing, and a young man with special needs too, which is awesome. Him and I really worked great together. We went from there and that's kind of how it got to where it is but you have to have such a great memory too to remember all that yeah, I didn't but it when it started coming back.

Aiden Gabor: 33:34

That's why it took some time it came back and so the purpose.

Daniela SM: 33:38

You know what is the purpose of your book.

Aiden Gabor: 33:39

To share that people know that you can be dark in a dark place and come into the light and you can be with. Spirituality will help you, Religion will help you come into the light and be the you can be a better person in society. It's easy being bad. That's the easiest thing in the world is being bad. Being good sucks, it's hard as hell. Being bad that's the easiest thing in the world is being bad. Being good sucks. It's hard as hell being good. I mean, it is tough. You think, yeah, I work my way every day with this.

Aiden Gabor: 34:06

With the book, we're showing that you can do this and it's also showing that, hey, there's bad police officers out there. We all know that. But there's people taking out those bad police officers. Out of 100,000 police officers, maybe one or two are bad, bad, Maybe 100 of them, maybe 200 of them. They're bad, but not bad bad. And then you got the ones that abuse the authority of another 1,000. There's people taking out the bad ones, taking out the ones that abuse their authority. They are getting weed out.

Aiden Gabor: 34:38

But it's so hard because when you deal with these deceptive people like they've done bad things, it's easy to become bad. Because it's easy being bad, it's hard staying good and it will eat them. That's why suicide rates among law enforcement officers are so high because of what they see and what they've gone through, and they want it. Oh my God, I got to stop myself from thinking that's so easy doing what they're doing. I think the book will help people understand that there are people out there taking the bad guys out, that the government is trying to do, that you can turn your life around 180 degrees. You know, with me it's about 110, 120 degrees. You know I still got a temper. I still yell at people. My mouth gets me in more trouble than it needs to. If you disrespect me, I become a jerk and I work on that every day.

Daniela SM: 35:27

For you. The book has been helping you.

Aiden Gabor: 35:29

Yes, it brought it out. I can work on certain things. Sam was right that I needed to get this out. Maybe somebody might read this and think you know what I can be. Good, I could go talk to somebody. Let me look at that Baha'i faith. I never heard of that. Let me check that out. Or let me go to my synagogue. Or let me go to my church and talk to somebody and I'm just hoping, if it helps one or two people to understand that you can reverse from what you were to be a better person, then I'm I'm good with that.

Daniela SM: 36:03

No, that's wonderful and I'm glad that things have turned around for you. Do you think that you will change anything in your life?

Aiden Gabor: 36:10

would I have changed anything in my life? You know, I wouldn't be at this point. If I really did, I would probably be dead right now. You know, my, my whole thing is if I would have told those agents to get effed, leave me alone, where would I be right now, who knows?

Aiden Gabor: 36:27

I always say God has a sense of humor because I tried committing suicide. I've had people point guns at me, I've had people shoot me, I've had people stab, and then he didn't allow me to die. He said you know what? We're going to let you stay alive. We're not going to let you get off that easy for what you did. We're going to give you ALS so you can really suffer your end of it and understand that what you did. You can make yourself better. Let's get out there and make everybody better, but your ending is going to be not the greatest in the world. I have accepted that and, like I said, I never cared if I had died when I was growing up. Now I care about living because I want to make the world a better place and heal and get rid of racism, anti-sedentary. We got to get rid of it and that's the only way we can make the world better. As long as we keep that in the forefront, it's just going to keep rolling into the way it is now.

Daniela SM: 37:19

That's beautiful. I'm really grateful that you think like that, because it's true, we're all the same and according to all these stories, I realize that people just want love and we are all equal in a way.

Aiden Gabor: 37:31

Oh yes, we all are. There is nothing. I don't care who you are, and I've learned that now we are all equal. It doesn't matter, just show love for each other. If we work together, this world will be so much better.

Daniela SM: 37:45

So do you think your empathy level for others have grown?

Aiden Gabor: 37:48

Yeah, With these young men and women. Yes, because they're not deceiving.

Daniela SM: 37:53

When you grow up with knowing that there's always a second agenda. I feel like you're always alert on that and believe that everybody has it, but I feel that some people don't even think about it.

Aiden Gabor: 38:05

You're absolutely correct, spot on.

Daniela SM: 38:09

Since you were younger, you already thought about that against racism and inequality since you were younger. Yeah, you know what?

Aiden Gabor: 38:17

The funny part is, you know, eddie put that in us. Now, one thing that eddie said to us was we never drop drugs. We do not do drugs I can't say the word he used back then, but it would let the gangs do it to their own people. You gotta have respect for each other. As far as as racism, you can't have that. It's not going to work. To go after somebody because of their color is just, for me is stupid and I always grew up with that. But Eddie said, yeah, this is what you need to do, and he put that with him. We just didn't deal with the drugs. We just, you know, we did other things.

Daniela SM: 39:05

Well, it's interesting.

Aiden Gabor: 39:05

You probably liked the all because it was a community and they took care of you. It's feeling loved and appreciated and respected into a group of people, right? Oh yeah, respect to me is a big thing. Respect has got to be earned. You know it's not given.

Daniela SM: 39:12

You said, respect has to be earned. I feel like there is a respect that you have to have to every human being for being just human. And then you have another level of respect that because I talk to you and I know that you're an expert on these or you know more about this than that. So you know I have the respect for that. But I think the basic is just to be respectful to everyone because we're human beings.

Aiden Gabor: 39:36

No respect for each other, for being a human being. But, as far as you know, caring about that person back then I didn't have caring. Now I'm starting to get that and I understand you got to really care for people because what you do to people and, like I said, I struggle with that every day and respect is when I say it's earned, you have to earn respect with people is you show respect by not disrespecting.

Daniela SM: 40:01

Okay, that's a good one. I agree with that. So I respect you and then you automatically you respect me, just forbidding me.

Aiden Gabor: 40:08

Yes, yes, I have no reason to not like somebody unless they do something. You're great with somebody until they disrespect you. Now we got a problem.

Daniela SM: 40:17

All right. Yes, we do got a problem. All right, aiden. Is there anything else that I can do to be of service for you today in regards to your book or anything else that you want to share?

Aiden Gabor: 40:32

Just let everybody know that you can pick up my book on conflictingloyaltiescom. Everything's on there. I'll tell you every module you can get it from. I'll tell you a little bit more about the book. But, like I said, conflictingloyaltiescom is the place to go. I'm going to tell you exactly where you can get it.

Daniela SM: 40:49

Okay, we will put that in the show notes and I would like for people to follow you you have an Instagram and you also have an ex and Facebook. Have an Instagram and you also have a X and Facebook and they can leave a comment on this episode as well, about what resonates to them and, yes, what they learned, because, for sure, I learn a lot.

Aiden Gabor: 41:10

Well, thank you so much, dear. Yes, that's exactly what they can do. They can find me on there. Yes, ma'am.

Daniela SM: 41:17

Yes. So thank you, Aiden, for coming and sharing your story, sharing a story to people that will never have your life, and I'm glad that you wrote the book. Thank you.

Aiden Gabor: 41:26

Thank you, dear, thank you for having me on there.

Daniela SM: 41:27

All right, take care. I hope you enjoyed today's episode. I am Daniela and you are listening to, because Everyone has a Story. Please take five seconds right now and think of somebody in your life that may enjoy what you just heard, or someone that has a story to be shared and preserved. When you think of that person, shoot them a text with the link of this podcast. This will allow the ordinary magic to go further. Join me next time for another story conversation. Thank you for listening, hasta pronto. Thank you.