.jpg)
BECAUSE EVERYONE HAS A STORY "BEHAS"
BECAUSE EVERYONE HAS A STORY / PORQUE TODOS TENEMOS UNA HISTORIA QUE CONTAR. My podcast connects and relates through the sharing of regular peoples' stories of courage, transformation, adventure, love, overcoming life’s challenges and career changes. It is a platform to give ordinary people’s stories from all over the world the chance to be shared and preserved. You will listen to stories of captivating people, both young and elderly, that I, your host Daniela, meet on my life journey. Communicating wisdom, knowledge and personal experience, these stories will connect, motivate, inspire and relate to your own. Our stories become the language of connections. Let's ENJOY, CONNECT AND RELATE. COMPARTE, CONECTATE Y DISFRUTA. I have shared stories of people from Asia, Europe, North America and South America. If you want to share your story on my show, please get in touch because everyone has a story.
BECAUSE EVERYONE HAS A STORY "BEHAS"
From Corporate Climb to Personal Growth Finding Balance - Elona Lopari : 153
Elona Lopari's journey from Albanian immigrant to corporate success showcases resilience and transformation. As her family's bridge to a new life, she balanced logic and discipline with her siblings' creative freedom.
Elona, CEO of The Life School, helps purpose-driven leaders build impactful businesses through alignment, branding, and team growth. As a bestselling author and speaker, she connects communities with heart and vision.
Elona's transition from corporate life to entrepreneurship sparked deep self-discovery. Confronting imposter syndrome and the search for validation, she gained strength by aligning her goals with her personal values. Through the emotional ups and downs of starting a business, she found stability in meditation and community support. Elona's journey highlights the interconnectedness of growth, tradition, and innovation, reminding us of the importance of connection and mutual support in life and business.
Let's enjoy her story!
To connect with Elona:
https://www.elonaloparicoaching.com/media-press-speaking.html
The Life School Masterclass Show
- Share Your Thoughts and Shape the Show! Tell me what you love about the podcast and what you want to hear more about. Please email me at behas.podcats@gmail.com and be part of the conversation!
- To be on the show Podmatch Profile
Thank you for listening - Hasta Pronto!
Hi, I'm Daniela. Welcome to my podcast, because Everyone has a Story, the place to give ordinary people's stories the chance to be shared and preserved. Our stories become the language of connections. Let's enjoy it, connect and relate, because everyone has a story. Welcome. My guest today is Elona Lopari. I am so excited to share this conversation with Elona, recorded four months ago. At the time, my husband and I were planning a month-long trip to Albania, her home country. Now, after experiencing Albanians' beauty and warmth firsthand, I am even more inspired by her remarkable journey. Born firsthand, I am even more inspired by her remarkable journey from an Albanian immigrant in New York to a corporate leader and now the CEO of the Life School. Elona's mission is to help purpose-driven leaders building impactful businesses, and her story is one of resilience, self-discovery and connection, a reflection of growth, tradition and living a life of purpose. Let's enjoy her story. Welcome, ilona, to the show. Thank you so much, daniela. It's a pleasure to be here. I know I'm really excited. Also, it's my first guest that is original from Albania.
Elona Lopari :Yes, excited to have a conversation.
Daniela SM:Albania is a beautiful country I know, but of course I know you live in New York, right?
Elona Lopari :Yes, I'm currently based out of Brooklyn, New York, for the last 25 years.
Daniela SM:All right, perfect. Tell me why you want to share your story, because I've always learned from other people's stories.
Elona Lopari :I've always seen my own admiration, things I was overcoming through, you know, reading other people's stories, listening to their stories. So I really feel like, as humans, this is how we've always have learned and grown and evolved. So I really feel like maybe my experience could potentially be that for somebody else.
Daniela SM:Yes, and I agree with that. I think sometimes it's better to listen to many stories of people than actually reading a lot of help books. And when does your story start?
Elona Lopari :Well, we could go back, as my origin you know, all the way to Albania. So I was born in the capital Tirana, lived in Albania for 15 years, had a pretty good childhood over the years, a lot of social outside games with my little community, which I now kind of like always look back and admire because we're very creative. We didn't have a lot of material things, but we'll be outside, we'll connect with my friends and we'd mostly be more outside than inside the home. So that was pretty much my childhood. And then a civil war happened in Albania. It is a small country and it invaded, you know historically, many different other countries. So there was a civil war that was happening when I turned 15 and I was in the first year of high school and it was pretty unsafe A lot of guns everywhere, a lot of killings, a lot of safety like that. So my dad actually applied for an American visa. He didn't know, obviously, that he was going to get it, but he just had this intuition that okay. So everybody, you know, was looking to leave the country and he always was attracted towards the US because I guess what he had heard the brand name, the opportunities, the fact that it's the land of the American dream and all of that. So he applied, he won and we were able to move here. So I moved to the US, specifically still Brooklyn. I haven't moved from the same borough that I landed here as with my immigrant parents.
Elona Lopari :I guess the fun and the challenges started because I had to grow up very fast. I was the oldest, I had my siblings which were younger. I also knew the language. I had a course that I attended in Albania so I knew some sort of English. So I was really right away adapting, incorporating, to help my parents because they didn't speak the English language, they didn't know anything or anyone. Those first beginnings of getting their first job just try to survive, obviously, not even worry about thriving. So that's what I did. I grew up very fast. I got my first couple of jobs. The American dream was instilled in me very early. My dad especially. He's like we came here, you got to go to college, get a good degree, get married, build a family, build your career, be successful. Those are all things that I kind of the blueprint I have to follow and I did do that. I got my bachelor's business management finance degree and then I climbed the corporate ladder for a fortune 500 company which happened to be in growth mode.
Daniela SM:It's been really difficult to grow internally, like where you're always very mature and it wasn't too shocking to be like, okay, now I have to be so responsible.
Elona Lopari :I always had a strong sense of what I want, even as a child. I always had a strong sense of what I want, even as a child. That's why I was disciplined very much for my being mischievous, like I had a stubborn head. I was always determined. That's always something that I have as a character. When it came up to me kind of stepping it up here, I just honestly didn't feel like I had to think twice about it because I'm like I can do it, I can help. You know, I know the language. I guess I was always wiser than you know the years that I had and the responsibility really shaped me early on as well, because I just missed a lot of my teenage years, which obviously later on I regret some of that experience that I didn't have, but everything works out. But I think, yeah, I was always the wise soul, the responsible person. Maybe being a first sibling also does that, because I can sit down with my kids and my little one, which is my boy, is more laid back and for me that was my experience.
Daniela SM:And so you had siblings. How many siblings you had. I have two other siblings, and they were also behaviors as you. The same many siblings you had? I have two other siblings and they were also behaviors as you. The same personality as you? No, actually very different.
Elona Lopari :That was the fun part. My sister, which is the smaller baby, she's always been more creative, more like kind of just you know, free soul, always following her thing. And my also, my, my brother. It's also pretty similar personality to her, more in the feeling side, and to her, more on the feeling side, and I'm more always on the logical side. We all have very different personalities. To them, yeah, they didn't listen to that American dream. They always followed their gut fine, even some things that our parents obviously wanted for them. And you know, having the fear of being judged like why don't you have some stability with your job, for example, for my brother or, you know, my sister, she had some of her own challenges, but now that I obviously understand people better, I think it's definitely part of their journey and their own personality and characters.
Daniela SM:They were just honoring that. Yes, I think it's all about personality and how you candle life and see life right. So then what happened? You went to college and then, so I went to college, got my bachelor's degree.
Elona Lopari :Even that I was a super achiever. I got it in three years. It was a bachelor's, which usually takes four, so I'm like I'm going to plan it out took classes, all of that. I guess I always like goals. I think that's another thing that always follows me. I like to pursue something. I like to have something that wakes me up in the morning, gets me excited. I just get bored very fast. So that was one of my first goals and I got my degree.
Elona Lopari :And then, once I started working at the corporation I work for, I just climbed the ladder. I was just again goal-oriented. I was there doing work. I was always seeing opportunities, being the high performer, all of that.
Elona Lopari :I happen to be in a good company because obviously you can do all of that in other places, but it doesn't mean that you get to have that experience. I really feel blessed for everything that happened to me because through all of those opportunities that were handed to me, I was able to see other parts of myself and build a lot of my personal professional experience within roles of leadership, marketing. I did HR for many years with them. So all that variety of experience just really formed the professional side of who I am and I saw that I have a very good neck for leadership. I was always good with people, but I'm very good at understanding what they need, how to connect them to the main purpose and how to place people where they would like to be so they can thrive, based on the experiences, their gifts, their goals and all of that. That's why HR is also something very important to me, because it's the people resource of things, kind of what I learned in my corporate experience.
Elona Lopari :Until the company was acquired by another company. I was there for 13 years. That journey also had an end where I felt unfulfilled. Everybody was seeing like a number. It was profit driven. It completely changed to what I was used to. So it just, I guess I read the silver lining and I started looking for something new.
Daniela SM:And at the meantime you were, you had a boyfriend and you were thinking about. You know, the other part of the American dream.
Elona Lopari :Oh, I mean, I was married. I met my husband, which is we've together for 20 years, at 17. Oh wow, mutual friends very early. Yeah, we were engaged for four years and then we got married. Then my first daughter was born a year after, and then my son two years and a half after. And then we bought our home, did some other investments, we traveled, we did some of the things that we thought were, you know, the right things to do to be able to have the dream but also enjoy life.
Elona Lopari :Because one thing that I see in my parents is that they just didn't enjoy their lives and they didn't do a lot of the things that they wanted. So I think that drove me to make sure that obviously we'll work hard, because I'm not afraid of work, I love to work and challenge myself and my husband's the same. It was just a matter of how can we keep this balanced so that we still do the things we care about, grow our base, our family, our foundational financials and all of that, but still be able to enjoy our lives. 23 years, my daughter's 17, my son is 14, still together.
Daniela SM:Wonderful, all right. So you keep having the dream. You got the family, you got the job and all the success. So what else did you were achieving or was searching for looking?
Elona Lopari :within because I really had a lot of misalignment from what I had achieved. On the outside Everybody's like, oh my God, you have everything you want and all of these things, but on the inside I was not happy and through the healing process of discovering what was going on with me, I realized that a lot of the achievement was because I was not feeling good enough. So I just always felt like I need to chase something so that you know I can be worthy of love. And that connected more to also my father always praising me for achieving a lot of like some deep personal stuff there. That happened.
Elona Lopari :That's when I started to start personal development and entrepreneurship and my husband he was an entrepreneur before me, just through a simple conversation, I was very unhappy where I was and I'm like dude, I don't want to do another nine to five. Another company feels like boring, like I've been there, done that, like my journey, I need to have something else. So that's where entrepreneurship showed up for me and he's like, very simply, it's like you have so many new skills and experience, why don't you just start your own business? And to me that connected.
Elona Lopari :At that time I said, oh, my eyes lit up because I've always been independent, so that attracted me.
Elona Lopari :Oh, I can be independent, I can have freedom because I was in the C-suite, so it's a natural market to transition into, because even that takes this time to evolve. I mean, you don't always know where you want to position yourself, who are the people you're going to help, how you're going to help, how you stand out all these traditional marketing stuff. So I took my time with connecting the dots and then I went into career coaching because I always felt like I want to help everyday women. I want to come out of corporate, because when you're in corporate so long, I wanted to just explore other things. That wasn't really as fulfilling still. So I kept searching and then I landed with a business thing, then leadership, because those are always my two strongest gifts and that's what I do today. I help people align their purpose with profit, much like myself, so they can do more good in the world, build a self-led company that they can pass down, philanthropy, exit whatever they would like to do.
Daniela SM:Wow, but Alona, was it easy? Like you know, you have a lot of skills and having a business is not always easy. So how was the process for you?
Elona Lopari :Nothing is easy if it's going to be worth it. For the first two years, I thought of quitting every day and going to safety. Safety was all I knew, you know, a steady salary and all of that Because entrepreneurship will test you. Obviously, I had skills and nothing ever was wasted. I always was able to adapt a lot of what I knew with the new skills I needed to gain.
Elona Lopari :However, that was a lot of newness to business, right? Because a lot of the digital ways to do business, a lot of these different things that I had to learn, kept me going, because I've always been a curious child. So I think the growth that I saw kept me really excited, so that the days where I felt like I'm doing a lot of work and where's my result Because usually that would be my story I would just lean back and say but look how much you've actually learned, and especially when I would meditate, I would be very connected with. This is where I'm supposed to be, always check back. With that, a lot of the challenges were easier to overcome a lot of fear, a lot of imposter.
Elona Lopari :Who am I to do what I do? Who am I to dream big? Who am I to have this big vision? What is the success going to do to me? Are the people around me going to still love me? Are they going to love me for who I am? Are they going to love me for my money? A lot of stuff came up. All of that, again, was just triggers that I needed to learn and heal from so that I could be where I am now.
Daniela SM:Yes, when you meditate that you said, oh, what have I achieved? And then you're like, okay, let's see what I have done, all that I have learned. And you know, sometimes I think like that too is true. I don't have titles, but I have learned so many things, going from different industries and learning so many interesting things for myself, that I think I'm really rich. It's just that it's not something that society counts, and so you always, you know, start getting confused with what the real values are.
Elona Lopari :Yeah, Daniela, something I learned over the years is to tap into my inner intuition. And now, obviously, when I ask, I get really good answers. But before it was very confusing it would. I would just lean into a lot of fear and I couldn't really hear myself. So I think that's been my guiding star, now that I know how to do it and I work through a lot of the emotional processes that need to happen.
Elona Lopari :But yeah, I think there's always going to be a misalignment between what you feel, how you're transforming yourself, and what other people see on the outside. Because you'd always get asked. I would get asked from my husband, like what are you working on? Like I couldn't always, like you know, tell, because if you're not at that level or if you're not matching people are not matching the community around you or where you are, and they don't really understand. Which is why I've learned community is very important in entrepreneurship, just like anything really. But I mean, it's a lonely journey. Not everybody understands your emotional roller coasters because you go through so much of that. It's just the journey, it's nothing to do about it. You just have to learn how to build resilience. But yeah, it feels lonely because a lot of the results you're working for are going to manifest, I don't know three, six months down the line. So you're always working pretty much in the future, backwards.
Elona Lopari :But now obviously you learn the processes and experience helps a lot. Right, because we don't have experience, everything is like weird and new and you don't know if you're going in the right direction. You don't know if you're wasting your time. You don't know if you're obviously you're taking away funds and money from your family or other things that are necessary to grow something. Over time. Experience teaches you a lot and that's why my company is called the Life School, because I love experience.
Elona Lopari :The more experience you have, the more you can add value towards other people. And with experience you learn to calm down because everything is a predictable process, because I've always been a very process oriented person. So I'm like, okay, there's a process and now I can do it for other people easier. But you know, with business there's a process to growing it. I think once you learn that, then it kind of gives you a lot of safety and security and be like okay, well, I'm never going to go back to an old version of me, I'm always going to evolve. So what are the chances that I will lose. I'm not. I'm just going to learn or I'm going to get what I want. Only two options, so just keep at it.
Daniela SM:Yes, that sounds great. And, ilona, you said at the beginning that you were a very logical person and less emotional. However, now you said that you have learned a lot to follow your intuition. Is that any challenging for you?
Elona Lopari :Very, challenging Language of feelings, the language of intuition, the language of spirituality was almost like a whole other language for me, because I was so into the left brain as a personality and also, obviously, 13 years. When you work in corporate structures, you tend to be very much in the doing, programmed to do, do, do, do, do. And now when you come out on the other side, I didn't know how to be, because when I would be, I would feel like I'm supposed to be doing something. There was a lot of inner work to get awareness around and figure out my own processes that worked for me, but it was almost like I went on the other end, a 360 degree of transformation. And now I feel very comfortable in this and now I can go back and forth, which is beautiful.
Elona Lopari :So when I need that, I mean you also need the doing. You know, I mean I get, need the doing, I get my intuition, but I have to execute it right Because otherwise it just stays in my mind. So all of it is needed. However, now obviously I could say that I'm very much more harmonized in my emotions. They call it feminine energy or masculine energy in some of the concepts, but just kind of being more in that flow, I feel. That's where I am now.
Daniela SM:And what is the difference between being and having a lot of emotions that sometimes don't are not that positive.
Elona Lopari :Yeah, I've learned two processes. I'm glad you asked me that because for the longest I had to always figure out there's got to be a process, because when I get I don't understand what's happening. I get overwhelmed and I shut myself down. That was my coping mechanism. I would avoid things, I would detach. But we all know that well. I realized that that wasn't a good technique because everything kept showing up in other ways. So I'm like, okay, shoot, this doesn't work. So I've learned two processes with that. The first one is when uncomfortable feelings come, which they will come.
Elona Lopari :I mean, I usually don't want to talk about positive feelings, because we all love the positive feelings, like nobody cares about getting rid of those. But it's the negative feelings, the fear, the anxiety, the uncertainty, the knot in the stomach, you know the all of these negative emotions, which are low level emotions. When they come, I've learned to embrace them. I've learned to just be my own best friend, have empathy for myself the same way I would do it for other people. I've learned to give that to my own self, where, if there's a big emotion that I can't really understand why, I just stay curious and I say it's okay to have this emotion, right, it's okay that you feel afraid to take that next step or make that decision. It is a scary decision. So I would just go through it and, honestly, what I've learned emotions like waves in this ocean, it's like takes like five seconds and it just left me. So I realized that, wait, this is not that hard, because I would think like I would die, like I can't handle a negative emotion. So I've realized the process is so seamless. So then, the more I did it, the more I kind of just loved the process, because I'm like oh, there's an uncomfortable emotion, let me kind of sit with it and feel it in my body, in my heart, wherever it showed up. I mean, for me, sometimes anxiety shows up in the gut, but people have different reactions to the body, obviously, so you just learn your own.
Elona Lopari :And then I do that process. First I go through feeling of the emotions, validating them, and then calming myself down and grounding myself with that emotional piece. The next piece I do is journal my beliefs, the story that was coming up for me, because you've got to do both, otherwise, if we don't tackle the brain, the emotion is going to keep coming back, and that's what I was missing in my process. I'm like I would just do the belief work like affirmation all day which didn't work, because it was just fake to me, it doesn't stick, it wasn't really reprogramming me for the new things that I wanted to do. So I would write the beliefs and, very simply, I write my old story. Okay, what was the story? Based on what I just felt. Then I would recognize it.
Elona Lopari :It was like I'm too afraid to do this because I don't feel like I'm capable enough. For example, that could be one that showed up for me many times. That was the old and then the new story is me meditating on is really true, so challenging. That, right, let me think back of the other opportunities in my life where I felt the same. But look, I've done it. So I would just connect it to my experience again and then I will come up with a better affirmation, like, even though I was scared before, I still was able to come through the other end and learn something and get what I wanted. So that would be my new story. So that's what I've learned also to do the story part Old story, new story, old story, new story.
Elona Lopari :And the more you do that part, the more you start to see that your old story is really, it's really stupid. It's just fear because it falls off. You know, because you're like when you read it you're like I can't believe. I was just afraid of this. But I've learned to do this on paper because on my head I can't, my head messes with me and I can't always detach and I can't tell what is an unhelpful story and what is a story that I believe that will inspire me to take action. So just doing it on paper for my black and white you know logical brain I guess always has helped me. But people got their own processes. But that's kind of what I have learned from my experience to be able to look at the emotional piece but also the story piece. So none of this stuff blocks me from the evolution and from the where I would like to go.
Daniela SM:Thank you for sharing that. So do you learn this all by yourself, reading, or with help or professionals, or how?
Elona Lopari :Oh, no, I mean I've invested so much in programs, you know, courses and trainings. I'm always learning something new every day podcasts, right. I surround myself. I pretty much have become very good at picking up the next clue and clarifying what else do I need? And then I find the resources and the people that I align myself with until I learn it, and then I move on and continue to do the same process. So that's kind of how I make my decisions, whether. Who do I am I seeking now? What kind of support am I looking for? Can I learn on my own? Is there someone else that can support me? And I've always been a big believer in leveraging other people's experiences, because if someone again understands that has an easy process. They've helped so many people.
Elona Lopari :Why would I waste my time and not get that result? Because I'm worth it. I'm the most important asset that I ever have, because I'm the one making all the decisions for my business, for my family, for my personal life, for my kids. You know, always working on that, the investment piece and looking, tying that to more of my time back for myself, because we always get taught to make more money. Nobody teaches us to buy back our time, because our time will never come back.
Elona Lopari :I just have learned through my experience to value time, and that's why I always connect with people that have already streamlined processes, have already the things that I want. I am very happily going to be able to invest for the results that I'm looking to achieve. So it's been a combination of all. I've done it all depending on whatever phase and stage I'm in. I clarify what I'm focusing on, then I go seek out the people and the resources, and then also inner work too. That's important. I clarify stuff on my own and then, once I have clarity, then I go seek out things from on the outside.
Daniela SM:Yeah, wonderful. And as a mom, obviously you have grown, and so the early mom to the mom now you change a lot. How do you communicate with them?
Elona Lopari :Yeah, I love that question. I grew up with my kids I would say that I didn't believe in. I was the parent and all of that. Obviously, I do be responsible and all the things that I felt like I needed to do because I was a parent. That grows you up very fast, but over the years I've learned to adapt and I've learned to see my kids as those humans that could support me in my growth and I'm there for them and because I always didn't well, I didn't always have a safe, emotional home for some reason. That was always the purpose behind what I thought I should do as a parent just to create a safe space and environment for them to emotionally connect with us and also ensure that they're independent. And I didn't do things for them because of my own anxiety and my own needs that I didn't heal so that they can learn who they are and continue to go on their own journey.
Elona Lopari :But all the phases are different. Now I'm in, my oldest is almost in the adult phase, so I've already transitioned my parenting from what I used to do that was more like boundary setting to she already. Now, can you know, going around she makes her own decisions almost. So at every phase and stage there's been growth, there's been grief for what was left behind, because when they're babies I miss, you miss that stage. When they go into the preteen and teenager it's different type of parenting that is needed.
Elona Lopari :I always say I got promoted to a consultant when they became older because it's no longer. They didn't need me anymore. It was their friends, they had their own opinion, social media. Obviously our kids are very, very wise souls. I, I gotta say I am so proud of this new generation Because the things that my kids could tell me now I was not able to do so when I was their age. I don't know if it's the breed or I don't know if it's the technology or they're, like, packed with great intuition and I have learned to honor that and leverage that and help them see that within themselves and put boundaries that I thought were necessary so they could be safe while exploring. Other than that, that's kind of been my parenting style.
Daniela SM:It's so interesting. What you're saying about growing with the kids is exactly the way I think I didn't use the word as a consultant but the grieving. That is true especially. You know we have the Google home, that it shows the pictures, and I'm always like, oh you know, always missing that time because it was beautiful. But of course I know that I wanted to go back, I just miss it because it was beautiful. But it is a new time. It is true. We evolve, be different parents and we have to evolve and grow and adapt to them, which is hard because there's a lot of changes happening quite fast, faster than anything a job, your age, getting older, anything and so you have to adapt really quickly.
Elona Lopari :Daniela, the one thing that's helped me is my own self-awareness, because the more self-aware you are, the more you could pick up the transition happening in front of you and they're no longer part of you. When you can detach, it's just the healthiest thing, because then you could see it's like a movie, like a story we're storytelling today. It's like a movie happening in front of you and I can already pick up intuitively all the phases. And then I could go back and readjust ask myself who do I want to be now as a parent? Who do they need me to be? What is this phase going to? You know, require and then align my values and my vision and mission for the parenting or where we're going as a family. But I think I treat it like a business. It's all the same thing because all these areas really are the same at the end, because when you have that, you understand how to do it on your own. Uh, you are again the, the biggest dot that connects everything else around you. Right, you are the center of your own universe. So I've learned that it's helped me with everything, not just parenting. I understand what you're saying.
Elona Lopari :A lot of parents don't grow. I mean, I've seen my own right. I mean my mom still treats me like I'm five and I always hated it. I'm like don't you trust me? Not like I've done well for myself. I think I can make a small decision like, hey, can you just do this? But you know it's out of love and I think the prior generation has not made these transitions in their parenting. But now that you see it, obviously we're trying to always stop whatever hasn't worked. You know, embrace the new and but you know that's innovation also. Innovation could be in business. Innovation could be in business. Innovation could be in parenting. Innovation could mean your personal growth. Right, it's always marriage of the old and the new. I've realized.
Daniela SM:Another thing that happens is that, you know, we immigrants and sometimes when our parents are much older and they immigrate, they actually bring everything that they remember and they want to be in that, like kind of in that place, locked with their ideas of how things should be. A friend of mine who was telling me that that her family is Tamil, from Sri Lanka Parents came here and then they brought all these traditions and rules and then you go to the country and it has evolved, but they have it here because they thought, well, this is the way it should be. So it was quite interesting because I was like, oh yeah, I didn't notice that that could happen, and it's, of course, because you're isolated, so you're thinking, okay, this is how it used to be 20 years ago and I'm going to change.
Elona Lopari :That is so true, I've seen that with my community because I now help a lot of Albanians, because to me it's obviously the way I give back. But that's what happens. I think in a new country there's so much stuff that they don't know and they go into their bubble. It's so easy to stay with your own people and so easy to just kind of stay in your own small world because you haven't, you don't want to challenge yourself to grow into the new culture. Go, do new things, meet new people, do all the things that are necessary for growth.
Elona Lopari :So I have found that my parent generation have kind of stayed very small. The world has become very small and they have become very dependent on their children, their families and all of that. And now you feel the repercussion of that because they go and they get older and they don't have any other thing in their lives besides their children, because they haven't really done that part. But honestly, I've learned that it's lack of education. They didn't have access to what we know today. Education is powerful because now you know there's more out there and all this access to things. So that's why I say we're blessed to be able to live in this world where we have access to the global world and we could see how maybe Daniela is living or what's happening over there, right, and how do I manage some of my stuff.
Daniela SM:I don't think they have that option and that's what I feel the saddest for yes, I think it also goes back to personality, how people see things and how they want to be. Some people are comfortable and they are content with what they have, and other people, like you and I, we want always more, and sometimes it worries me that when is going to be enough more? You know you always want more, and so it's exhausting.
Elona Lopari :We got to check the more because if it comes from a bad place, like I learned, there's never enough, never enough. There's nothing you can do. You're never enough yourself. That's where it actually comes from. So we got to do the checks Absolutely Everybody. Well, I'm a spiritual, spiritual person. I believe everybody has a unique journey. We sometimes choose the things we go through. I believe in past lives and all of that. So everything is very intentional. Maybe we have chosen people have chosen to be that right so they can grow through that in their journey. Everybody's unique, everybody's authentic. They're on their own lane and that's why I believe in just learning, supporting, helping, unconditional love for everyone ourselves first. I think that's all we need as humans, just connection and love. At the end of the day.
Daniela SM:That's why we do all the craziness yes, I'm reading a book that they say that we should treat humans like they are new countries that we have never explored before, because we are so different. I love that and I was like, oh, that's so true, and I love traveling. So there you go and I want to ask you so you come from logic to emotions what about the other way around? Is it harder? I always have been more emotional. I have always worked through intuition and things have worked really well for me. But I suffer a lot because having emotions and so I thought I would be a happier person if I didn't have them. So what do you think Actually?
Elona Lopari :the story my sister is like you and she's very emotionally attuned to people and she's very emotionally intelligent and emotionally intuitive. So that means that, like you, she gets overwhelmed with other people's emotions. So the story always been we make fun of it. I'm in a joking way that she's like if I could just have something in your brain that I could just detach myself from all of this stuff. And on my end I'm like if I could just have your freaking emotional, beautiful skills because you can relate and connect with anyone, relationship wise. The story of what I've learned with my experience my sister, because she's like, very connected to me, we do a lot of growth together. She's like the I'm the yin and the two. You know she's the yang right and that's another beautiful relationship.
Elona Lopari :I've learned that as humans, we always want what we don't have right, because we always think the grass is always greener on the other side. That's just a natural human thing. What I've learned is that we can develop all of these If I could learn the language of emotions that once upon a time was like I just can't do this. You should talk to my sister. She's like I'm like girl, I don't know how you do it. Good for you. You're born with this. I have nothing to do with it. I just don't get it. It was like theory to me, like theory. I just don't get it. It was like theory to me, like theory. It was just theory. I couldn't. I didn't understand how to experience it.
Elona Lopari :Having said that, everybody can balance both because we have both as humans. We have the left and the right brain. That's why we all you know are born with both. We both have masculine energy and feminine. The thing is developing it, that's all. So if your intention is to develop some of the logical part, it's not going to come natural, obviously, because you're more natural here. But through the training and the right things that are necessary, you're definitely able to be more focused, be more processed. Next steps, which is usually more of the left brain.
Elona Lopari :Absolutely, you can learn anything and as humans, that's why we're so powerful, because we're all equipped with all this inside of us. We become so gifted, but nobody ever told us that we tap into all of these things and have this information. We can develop anything, any skill, any talent, if we obviously put ourselves through the process to be able to do it. And what I've learned is more important if it's important enough for us. Otherwise, if the why is not there, it's just not worth it. The why was there for me? Because I'm in business and unless I learn how to have really fulfilling and happy relationships, I wasn't going to be a very happy businesswoman. Because I didn't always like the being a miserable military style, results focused and oriented person, because I always crave the human connection. My reason, my big purpose was there. My reason why is strong. So I put myself through the process to do it because it was important.
Daniela SM:It is beautiful that you have such a good relationship with your sister. What about her? Did she needed to learn logic in the part, or it is not necessary for her? I love that question.
Elona Lopari :It is because she went through an external circumstance of a divorce and that helped her tap into pretty much the logical side and more of the masculine energy when she had to pick up the pieces, put her life together, get a home, provide for the family she had a son do some of the planning and the doing, which is more on the left side, and when we have these conversations that's exactly what she's thankful for, that everything happens for a reason because now she can grow her independence that way, because it's easy for the emotional side to be dependent on other people, be attached to other people, but the more of the left brain, logical, is always like I'm on my own, I can do it on my own, I'm free, I'm independent and you know how to do the right doing to get to the results. So she shares the same story today, that she was able to do that and that helped her kind of balance some of the feelings.
Daniela SM:Well, it's interesting because my husband is very logic, so I married somebody very logic and I'm very emotional intelligence. However, I am a doer.
Elona Lopari :We always attract the opposite. My husband's a feeler, so for the longest I was taking care of the home, taking care of the kids, like everybody knew what was happening. I was like the, I was the manager. But you know that comes to a time where you see that you've done some damage with that, because I could see how you could spoil the kids and all that. And then you build resentment. You're like why am I the only one? Like always like doing this or that?
Elona Lopari :So I think it's healthy to balance both. For sure, because we also teach them how to hold on their own and so they can tap into their own. It's almost like a cycle and we we don't feed into their attachment styles which are really usually not helpful, because we're all built so different and and the level of awareness is not like yours and vice versa. They see stuff that you don't see. So learn to be very honor complimentary abilities in people and just be curious and say thank you so much for seeing that. I didn't see that. You know why do you think that? That's how it was so like, open up those conversations and communication and kind of learn from each other without judgment and shame.
Elona Lopari :I think at the end of the day, that's kind of what we do to ourselves. We judge and shame ourselves for not being a certain way. But maybe that's not the way that you are. So let's give ourselves grace and the more you do that, this becomes easier with others, because we're harder on ourselves. The more I've learned how to do that myself, the more I'm such a nice person with other people and that comes from a good place. It's not like I just feel like I want to be nice, I need to be, I need to be Anything need to be. You should do it. It's all fear. I want to be appreciative of others because I love when I'm able to support or create impact. Yeah, to me. I just thought of leadership when you asked me that, because it's so common. But leadership is everywhere in the family, right, I mean, you've got people around you and that's exactly the thing.
Daniela SM:Yeah, we're all leaders in one way or another. Absolutely, you also have a podcast, I do.
Elona Lopari :I do similar things on my podcast that bring on amazing entrepreneurs that share their experiences, whether it's their personal or professional, in the aim to contribute towards other people, to support one another and to really heal and share more good in the world. So my podcast is called the Life School Masterclass Show, and the reason I named it that is because I feel like every conversation with each human is like its own masterclass. There's so much we can learn and every day I'm learning there. It's like my school. So, yeah, I go to class with each person and we have a great combo like this and it's called the life school master class show yeah, that's a beautiful title.
Daniela SM:I also think that I'm going to university. These are all courses of university because it has grown, especially my compassion and understanding of every story is so interesting, and so I will never have the experience listening to yours or other people. I will learn more and understand humans much better. So I mean, I'm still. Compassion is a really big subject, but it is. I'm growing it a little more every time. Good, Stay on it.
Elona Lopari :It's the really big subject, but I'm growing it a little more every time. Good, stay on it. It's the most important part. I've gone through a spiritual awakening experience lately and everything to me, compassion has come through. So strong, unconditional love and compassion. If you can grow those within yourself, that's what the world needs. Everything else is easy. I realized those are the two most important because I've always been very, very curious around. Okay, remove the details, remove the layers. What's at the bottom, what's at the meat, what is at the depth of everything? And that was my latest realization that compassion, love and compassion, that's it for humanity, for others, it's honestly the biggest thing we could do and that's where success is at the highest levels on all areas.
Daniela SM:And, Ilona, we talk about emotions and logic, but then you keep mentioning spirituality. So when did that come to you? Did you have it hidden or did you just learn it In my family?
Elona Lopari :you know, we believe in a certain religion, all of that, but it's not like my parents like really were religious, like you know, praying, anything like that. I mean, we were invaded in Albania so we changed our religion from Catholic to Muslim. So that's kind of what I grew up with. But I always had like a sense Like to me. I've always had like a sense of something always beyond me. So I always felt that. And then through my journey of growth and kind of reaching the material success, right, I realized, wait, there's more Like is that it? That can't be it, because this doesn't feel like there's enough. So then I started exploring more into other areas. So that's where spirituality came about. I'm like, oh my gosh, like there's so much into this other world. We're so much connected to a higher source, connected to a higher source.
Elona Lopari :And then I started to learn about neuroscience and I got my master's in it because I fell in love with the whole field of how humans operate, behavior, neuroscience, how the universe works, how we're all connected. So I just developed it over the years and I use a lot of that in my business world because my mission is to humanize business, because at the end, business is all about humans, right? I mean, why do we do the marketing and sales and all these traditional things? We do it because we want to help other people with the thing that we have, whether you have a product or service. So that's kind of how I've grown it over the years. And then I've got into meditation, I've gone into healing work and things like that over the years that I discovered were really cool things. Past life experiences, things like that which to me years ago would be like what is this world? I don't understand it. Just through education I've come to connect more with it. Learning, being a student just like yourself, I pay attention to areas that I get attracted to?
Daniela SM:Yeah, neuroscience is so fascinating, right, I love that. Is there anything else that I can do of service for you? You want to share? They can reach out.
Elona Lopari :Just you having this conversation and creating this for other humans, I think is very, very beautiful. I love podcasting because of its natural flow and people get to share things from their heart and there's no agenda. There's nothing like a shit sound this way or that way. Whatever comes up is the right thing to say. Listeners, if they, I guess, enjoyed the conversation, they walked away with some value here today. Maybe they can go check out my podcast called the Life School Masterclass Show, and they can find it anywhere podcasts are played, or on my website at elonathepowerycoachingcom yes, and I want people to also follow you on social media.
Daniela SM:You have a instagram and also linkedin, so we'll put that in the show notes as well. Anybody who wants to make a comment about where the takeaways are, what they learn, what they want to hear more from you, so that would be great. Thank you so much, elona. I really appreciate meeting you. It was just amazing. Well, thank you, thank you.
Elona Lopari :Well, thank you for having me.
Daniela SM:It was such a pleasure to have this conversation. I hope you enjoyed today's episode. I am Daniela and you are listening to, because Everyone has a Story. Please take five seconds right now and think of somebody in your life that may enjoy what you just heard, or someone that has a story to be shared and preserved. When you think of that person, shoot them a text with the link of this podcast. This will allow the ordinary magic to go further. Join me next time for another story conversation. Thank you for listening. Hasta pronto you Thank you.
