How Random Acts of Kindness Transform Leadership - Ben Dias : 167

Leadership through mentorship is the heartbeat of this inspiring conversation.

Ben Dias shares how a job he took after high school to support his family—born out of necessity—grew into a fulfilling 30-year career, thanks to the guidance of remarkable mentors.

What brings Ben to the podcast, however, is a single act of kindness: a stranger repairing his broken trailer in twenty minutes, refusing payment beyond the cost of parts. That moment shifted Ben’s entire perspective on generosity, sparking a ripple effect of paying it forward that continues to shape his leadership style.

A powerful theme emerges: the evolution of emotional intelligence in leadership. Ben contrasts the days when yelling and intimidation were mistaken for strength with today’s recognition that “nothing turns somebody away quicker than continuous emotional outbursts.” True leadership, he reminds us, is defined by calm, empathy, and resilience.

His journey is both humble and profound: from modest beginnings to building a successful career, Ben’s openness to mentorship has allowed him to empower others. Perhaps most moving is hearing how his adult children now challenge and mentor him in return—a testament to the generational power of guidance.

This episode is a reminder that leadership isn’t about authority; it’s about impact, connection, and the legacy of how we make others feel.

Let's enjoy his story

Chapters

• 1:09 Ben's Career Journey and Mentorship
• 5:26 The Power of Emotional Intelligence
• 9:07 The Roadside Kindness Story
• 18:31 Leadership Evolution and Adaptation
• 29:14 From Hardship to Leadership Legacy
• 38:38 Family Leadership and Looking Forward

Transcript

Daniela SM: 0:01

Hi, I'm Daniela. Welcome to my podcast, because Everyone has a Story, the place to give ordinary people's stories the chance to be shared and preserved. Our stories become the language of connections. Let's enjoy it, connect and relate, because everyone has a story. My guest is Ben Diaz. Sometimes stories just stay with you. Years ago, ben shared a story of a moment of kindness that left such an impression on me and I knew one day I had to invite him to tell it here. What I didn't know back then was that Ben is also an incredible leader, with decades of experience shaped by mentorship and resilience. Today's conversation is about one of the topics closest to my heart leadership. It was a true delight to sit with Ben, to experience his kindness, his empathy and his deep commitment to mentoring others. He's a reminder of the leaders we need more, of those who leave a legacy, not through authority, but through the way they make others feel. Let's enjoy Ben's story. Welcome, ben to the show.

Ben Dias: 1:12

Thank you, daniela, happy to be here.

Daniela SM: 1:13

Yes, I am very excited that you're here, because once we took a course online, we had to share stories and you had this amazing story that it has always stayed with me for I don't know, maybe five years, if no longer. Finally, I found you again and asked you if you wanted to share your story. That's why you want to share your story, right?

Ben Dias: 1:36

Absolutely. When you approached me that day and asked me, I was very flattered that you remembered some of the stories that we shared in that class, and then I was super excited about the opportunity to get to come on to your podcast and share.

Daniela SM: 1:51

Yes, and this is just a small story from your whole life and how you have become who you are now. But when does your big story starts?

Ben Dias: 2:01

My story will start when my work career started. There's obviously a bunch as a young boy growing up that has some relevance on who I've become, but I'll start with when my work career started and why there. I was thinking about some of this stuff when, particularly yesterday and today, when I knew this podcast was coming up and I started thinking about how I got to the position I am now and what some of the really exciting parts of the work that I get to do and when I say exciting I also mean the parts that I enjoy the most, that I feel like I take the most from.

Daniela SM: 2:39

Okay, you'll say that your story starts when you started your career. Is that because you have mentors, or what happened?

Ben Dias: 2:47

Well, when I started my working career after high school, I got into work because I needed to bring money into our home. I didn't come from a very wealthy home, it was just my mom and my two brothers and my goal was to earn money, which I was able to do. But then what? After getting the job and earning a living and helping contribute to the family, it started turning into a career. I didn't know it was going to turn into a career that it did. It was really about earning that living.

Ben Dias: 3:21

And then through there I got to meet some fabulous people that I will categories as tremendous people, but also tremendous mentors and coaches that provided some guidance and assistance when I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do for a living. I was so appreciative of that and the way it helped form who and where I was going to work. I found myself almost in a debt to pay that forward and do the same thing for other people and what I found out by doing that. It was the best part of the job when you were able to provide some guidance and help.

Daniela SM: 4:01

So you've been working for the same company.

Ben Dias: 4:03

A few companies, but largely in the same type of work, and it's mostly around large construction projects and both in private and government sectors.

Daniela SM: 4:15

And why do you think that you always, through your path, found so many people that wanted to help or mentor you? Because I don't think that's usual.

Ben Dias: 4:25

Interesting. Thanks for that question. I feel like it was that open-minded approach that I was open to hearing, listening, seeking out it and when I didn't always have that approach, there was probably a younger version of me that maybe was somewhat closed-minded, younger version of me that maybe was somewhat closed-minded, but when I opened myself up to receiving that feedback and that information, there was no shortage of people that wanted to provide that. Now, not all feedback and coaching and mentoring is created equally, but I was very fortunate to have some tremendous coaches and mentors that helped me, but it started with me being open to hearing it.

Daniela SM: 5:14

Okay, it started with you being open. Not just you, but also the people you were. I don't know the right place at the right time. It was just mostly you. Do you think that anybody who is open will find mentors?

Ben Dias: 5:27

I don't know if that's the case, if you will always, but I feel like if your approach is one that you're open to hearing maybe some stuff that you don't agree with.

Ben Dias: 5:38

And when I say that, I remember I was working on a project and I had a presentation to do and I was, I remember I was working on a project and I had a presentation to do and I was very confident in my presentation and I had prepared very hard for it. This fellow that was helping me out I went to him just to share with him the presentation and he basically told me I was going in the wrong direction with it and he didn't think I should proceed with the way I had prepped it. And he didn't think I should proceed with the way I had prepped it. I disagreed with him at the beginning but then sat and reflected and thought about it and went back and changed it. And he was right.

Ben Dias: 6:12

I just didn't want to hear it. I had put so much work into doing this, getting ready for this presentation. I didn't want to hear that I wasn't doing it right and I was reluctant to listen. And then, after reflection, I went back and he was right and I changed it and was very successful in that presentation, which opened up some other doors for me.

Daniela SM: 6:32

I see Interesting. So you will say that we have to be open-minded to listen to the feedback. But I mean, I'm sure you got some feedback or some suggestions or tips or advice that perhaps were not aligning with your values, and how do you choose not to go through those?

Ben Dias: 6:51

In my early days was trying to filter through what was good advice and what was bad advice, and I do remember having a supervisor I won't say he was a leader, but he was a supervisor who was giving me some advice that I didn't agree with. I was so sure he was wrong. Now, after the fact, I look back and, yeah, if I would have followed that advice it would have been terrible. So I was able to filter through that and recognize that's not what he was saying I didn't agree with and was able to stay with my gut instinct on it and didn't follow that direction.

Ben Dias: 7:37

Information bad coaching is. But with that said, though, there's a lot to be learned from, say, a bad mentor. What behaviors is that individual modeling that you don't want to replicate? So you're watching somebody conduct themselves in a certain way, or they're in a position of authority, but their leadership skills are not that great and you can watch and learn from that. Skills that are not great, then you can watch and learn from that, and they may provide you some information that you'll have to decipher and decide if you're going to use it, but there's opportunity to learn from maybe, bad mentors, for lack of a better term.

Daniela SM: 8:15

Yes, exactly. I mean we learn what we want to do from the good mentors and what we don't want to do and hope that we get some good ones to get some good ideas.

Ben Dias: 8:25

Yeah, and when you say what you don't want to do, if you stop and watch those people that are modeling behaviors, just don't particularly scream leadership or make individuals feel empowered or strengthened. That's the stuff you want to stay away from. If you're seeing it and it's making you feel a certain way, then your objective should be to not replicate those things.

Daniela SM: 8:50

Yes, but I feel that people, although they don't enjoy those kind of behaviors, sometimes they repeat it when they have the opportunity to lead. And I have seen that and I'm really surprised why people will do that. And I think it's because that's what they learned.

Ben Dias: 9:05

Well, I will tell you what I experienced when I was in. I was taking a bunch of night school courses and one of the courses was on leadership and in there there was a module on emotional intelligence, and this goes back a really long time ago. But it was the first time I had heard that term, emotional intelligence, and I remember it grabbing my attention and when I learned more about it I was like, oh, that emotional intelligence, particularly when you become emotionally hijacked, is normally something's going wrong, something's not going, maybe particularly the exact way you want it, and our instinct is to emotionally react to it, which is usually when those bad behaviors show up, is when we become emotionally hijacked. And I remember watching that and listening to the instructor and I'm like, oh, I was on the job site yesterday or on this project, I became emotionally hijacked and I could so relate with that piece where then I started really researching and developing my knowledge around emotional intelligence and then started practicing it.

Ben Dias: 10:22

And I recently just recently as in last week I was on a job site that wasn't going particularly well and the supervisor was getting a little bit excited in defense of any of those words, and I did sit with him and talk to him that it's pretty straightforward to manage a project when it's all going well. The real measure is how you respond when things are not going well. The person that can stay calm, look at options on how to solve problems versus reactive and emotionally hijacked. The real strength is being able to stay in that calm and emotionally intelligent position.

Daniela SM: 11:03

Yes, I like that. That the real strength is when you stay in calm in the difficult parts. It's the same as making mistakes.

Daniela SM: 11:08

You know, we just hired 10 new staff. I said well, errors are part of the learning and sometimes when you make errors is when you remember, so it is a good thing. It's how you bounce back from those mistakes. It depends, you know. I will say, oh, you made a mistake, and I make it like, oh, you make a mistake, and it's like a party. Other people will point fingers and so how would they take it?

Ben Dias: 11:30

Right, there's another individual that I've had the fortune of getting to know over the last 15 years and he was looking for. There was an opportunity for a promotion that he was looking for and he had come into my office and talked to me and wanted to know what he needed to do to be successful at potentially successful at getting this job. And I told him he needed to work on his emotional intelligence when he talked about his reactive nature and that he had to work on this piece. Well, he didn't like that. He got up and walked out of my office and basically reacted to the feedback, but he came back. This was on a Friday. He came back on the Monday and said to me I gave some thought to what you said and you're absolutely right. What do I need to do? He went from being that, from being close to hearing that feedback, to coming back with a very open-minded approach, and what we ended up doing is we just started working together on different you know, different leadership styles, not necessarily just his leadership styles, but the leader, the styles of the people he's working with. And we went through all of this stuff and it was a long process. He had worked really hard and incredibly hard. I was so proud of him. It came down.

Ben Dias: 13:02

There was a part of the competition was, there was an interview and we talked about what he might wear to the interview. But he he's a fella who always wears a ball cap, because he has a similar kind of hairstyle I do, but he always wears a baseball cap and I said you can't wear, don't wear your baseball cap into the interview. And he's like Ben, I can't wear, don't wear your baseball cap into the interview. And he's like Ben, I can't do that. I don't go out in public, basically, without my hat on. I'm like okay, then wear your hat. Let's not create that nervousness.

Ben Dias: 13:35

Now I was also on the interview panel interviewing him. So what I decided to do was I decided to, I also wore a hat to the interview and but he walked in, he seen me wearing a hat and he was wearing a hat and I was trying to make him comfortable in the interview. But then I listened to him talk about his leadership and his problem solving skills and I was, I was, was.

Ben Dias: 14:02

It was just such a moment of pride for me because this fellow who basically got mad walked out my door because I had given him some feedback that he didn't necessarily like, worked really hard over a period of maybe six to twelve months to get himself into a spot. And then he comes into this interview and is just his leadership style, his communication, his coaching, his mentoring all of that just shone through so strongly that it was a real moment of. It was a return on days of my career where people took that time to do those things for me or with me that opened up so many doors. And here I was, on the other side of the equation now, had been working with this individual and I got to see them be very successful. It was just tremendous.

Daniela SM: 14:58

Yes, and that's very good also that you were able to pinpoint something like emotional intelligence, because I feel that people don't want to touch that because it's just very difficult. It's like probably saying the same as oh, you don't smell good. It's similar to that. It's so subjective.

Ben Dias: 15:15

Yes.

Daniela SM: 15:16

I don't have problems with that. I have problems with when people have, no matter what you say. It's just not going to be understood.

Ben Dias: 15:24

It is.

Daniela SM: 15:24

Going back to the story of you and that's what we hear you said that you started a job and you met a lot of mentors, and so what happened? What is your story?

Ben Dias: 15:36

What ended up happening is that I again I'm going to stress that I've been so fortunate to have tremendous coaches and mentors that took the time to invest in me and I want to come back to that part about taking the time a little bit after spending my efforts in the right areas and was able to, through some hard work on my part and some of the fabulous coaching and mentoring, was able to focus in on where I wanted to take my career, keeping in mind that when I first entered the workforce, this was about just helping to provide for a family. It was not about a career, and I didn't recognize that this was going to transform into this, but it did, and I've now been in similar type of work for over 30 years. I've got a fabulous job and a fabulous organization, a fabulous career. So it took me out of high school where I really didn't know what I was going to do. I just knew I had to help, I needed to earn some money and I was going to try to figure it out as I went. But what I didn't know was I was already in the right spot and I was already working with some people that were going to help me develop into this where I've gotten to now. What I will say now about the taking time is one of the best parts of the work that I get to do is when I get to find individuals maybe the band of yesterdecade and sit and spend some time with them and invest that into them and watch them develop and be successful. It is the greatest return of my time and investment when I get to see that happen and I just feel like what somebody gave me at one point in time. And now I have the opportunity to do this for somebody else and I need to take the time to do this because it's so, so important.

Ben Dias: 17:57

And I have another story that I'll share with you shortly, the one I told you when we were in that course about somebody taking time out of their world to help me. That had me stop and really rethink and actually recognize that there's more. I could be doing so all my way back from a trip and I was. I was towing a large boat and trailer and I was having mechanical problems with the trailer and I didn't have the right tools, so I stopped. I managed to get to a Canadian tire where I stopped and the brakes you could smell. The brakes were really heating up and there was a problem with the trailer. And when I got out of the vehicle I was pretty frustrated.

Ben Dias: 18:41

But my goal was to go in and buy the tools that I needed to try and fix this issue I was having. And there was a fellow standing there just kind of looking at me and I just recognized that you know he was there and it seemed kind of odd. But I had gone into the Canadian Tire and I had spent considerable time in there trying to find the right tools and parts I needed Must have spent half an hour. And I came out and this fellow was still standing there. And now I'm thinking, okay, what does this guy want? Is he going to give me some grief Cause I parked in the wrong spot or something? But he started talking to me and he said oh, I recognize you're having some mechanical problems and I really wasn't looking for help, but he was talking to me. And then he said to me he said, hey, do you have a watch? And I'm like no, but I grabbed my phone. I can tell you he's like no. No, I don't want to know the time, but I'll make you a deal If you give me 20 minutes of your time, I bet you I could fix this trailer for you and have you back on the road in 20 minutes. All I need you to do is start your stopwatch and I'm thinking this just can't be real, like what is going on here. And he said no, if this is a 3,500-pound axle, I have a spare set of wheel bearings for you. I know you think it's brakes, but I don't think it is. I think it's wheel bearings. But all that aside, if you just start your stopwatch and give me 20 minutes, I think I could get you and your family back on the road.

Ben Dias: 20:19

So I was just totally taken back by this individual. And now I was fascinated, because here's somebody who's I could see his wife was in his vehicle or his partner was in his vehicle. He had his RV on the back of his truck, but he was stopping to do this. And his approach give me 20 minutes of your time, I'll get you back and I was like, oh, that's the least I could give you. So, as he's talking, I noticed that on his right hand he had a custom-made glove and he was missing the two bottom of his pinky and then the next finger was missing from his hand and he had a custom glove to cover his thumb and then the two remaining fingers. And he started telling me a story that he lost half of his hand battling cancer and that he's now got cancer again. He's in treatment for that, he's telling me, and he's telling me the story while he's fixing my my vehicle and then he's like oh, what's your stopwatch saying? I'm like, oh, 12 minutes, he goes. Okay, let's just keep going. And he's telling me all this story. And then his partner came over and talked to him and she just recognized that this is what this individual does, and so she just checked in on him and he's like, oh, he's all good, this is bad and stuff, and introduced me and she went back to her vehicle. And then, at about 22 minutes, he's like okay, I think we're good, you just lower your vehicle off the jack and you're good to go.

Ben Dias: 21:56

And I was just. I didn't want to leave at this point. I was just so amazed by this human being who's gone through so much in his world to take all this time out of his day to wait for me than to help me. And then I had some money in my pocket and I offered him I can't remember if it was a $100 bill or a $50 bill, but that's the only increments I had and he's like no, no way. I'm like I can't not. You put all the parts. Those parts are $21. I will take $21 from you, but I won't take a dime more. I'm like, okay, let me go get some. Let me just go get some change. I went and got some change and gave him his $21 and just thanked him profusely and parted ways with him. Unfortunately, I've never seen him again. I wish I got the opportunity to see him again. Maybe he'll hear this podcast and he'll know that it was him I was talking to tell them the story about.

Ben Dias: 22:59

But I remember driving away with this, just this huge feeling, even me telling the story. Right now I'm getting the feeling again, but, um, just feeling that this person can do this for me. I need to, I need to elevate my game. I just there's just so much more I can do that I I've not been doing. Um, and one of the things now is if I'm on a road trip, driving, and I see somebody else on the side of the road stranded, I will stop. I will stop. I will do whatever I can to get back to them to offer some assistance.

Ben Dias: 23:39

And you know, I I I was on the highway last summer and I saw these two ladies on the side of the road and they were stuck and I was able to back down and help them and they were out of gas and I had an extra can of gas in the car and was able to help. And the lady said to me there have probably been 200 people that have driven by us and nobody stopped to help us. And nobody stopped to help us and was so thankful I didn't get to tell them this story of this, but it's because of this person that did this for me. There's just no way I was going to drive by these people and not I had the means to help them. Why wouldn't I stop and help them? That was just well. I remember the day vividly, just because it was so profound, right.

Daniela SM: 24:26

Yes, and I remember the story vividly just because it was so profound, right? Yes, and I remember the story mostly for how you said that you felt that somebody did something for you.

Daniela SM: 24:34

I don't remember the cancer part, I don't remember the glove things, and so I was just like, oh my God all these details, but you know like they say you always remember how somebody makes you feel and even though it didn't happen to me, your feelings kind of transferred to my memories about the story that I wanted to hear again. Yes, and so would you feel't know, maybe, for other aspects of your life that you don't know or you haven't thought about, and also these kind of things somebody helping you. I feel like also you missed the part of that when you went to fix the boat, something you were not feeling well or something was happening as well. So I think that also adds to that. So it helps to bring whatever you if you were down, you came up, you know you felt much better.

Ben Dias: 25:41

Your memory is fantastic because I did leave that part out, but my stomach was not well that day. I had been away for several days and it was a really hot day and I wasn't feeling well. I had to use the facilities in the Canadian Tire. It just took me even longer. But nice job, your memory is fantastic. Wow, okay.

Daniela SM: 26:19

Well, that's true, but yeah, who he is have written about how to make friends and influence people since the 1900s and it's nothing new. It is actually the doors to connect with people, and it's true that in North America we are you know, in Canada, and especially Canada and the US we are more individualistic culture than they are in South America or somewhere in Europe. But I feel it is very important, and now is when people are talking about emotional intelligence and trying to mention how vital it is. But it has always been with the tribe, with the village, with the community. It's just a normal thing that you need to do and I'm happy that you can actually grow it. It's not like EQ that you have it or you don't, but the emotional intelligence you can work on it, and so it is very important.

Ben Dias: 27:17

I agree very much when I first heard about it it does go back a couple of decades when I was first introduced to it, but my interest in it is still very heightened. But my exercising of emotional intelligence is something that is just an always ongoing effort to exercise that and be better. And then when you're able to maybe walk somebody else through it, or well, let me back up. Um, when I entered the workforce, there was no such thing as emotional intelligence.

Ben Dias: 27:53

You, you, in the type of work that I do, if you the louder you yelled and screamed and threw things around and behaved that way, the more effective you were as a leader or somebody running a large project. It was a requirement for the job to not have emotional intelligence, to be uber reactionary to everything, and you've almost led by a position of fear or intimidation, where now that is just so unacceptable and ineffective that if you are susceptible to emotional outbursts, it won't work in this environment. You need to be exercising that emotional intelligence and demonstrating that emotional intelligence, because you will quickly lose your team, your audience, quickly lose your team, your audience, whoever you might be trying to guide or provide direction to. Nothing turns somebody away quicker than continuous emotional outbursts because the individual cannot keep it under control or exercise those emotional intelligence. It just doesn't work in today's day and age.

Daniela SM: 29:12

I feel that maybe where you work and where I work, I have a friend who has a job and she's an engineer, so she does little projects with projects and buildings and stuff and her boss calls her you have to use your head, you're just stupid. He says things like that at this time in Canada and I know that in Europe people still will yell at you and call you.

Daniela SM: 29:36

So I don't think that we are that advanced. I wish we could, but it's not In so many topics in life. I think Canada is very privileged on that.

Ben Dias: 29:46

There's something to be said for it. You said earlier, you might not remember what somebody has said to you, but you will remember how they make you feel and as I was telling the story of that individual that helped me which has got to be a better part maybe eight years ago the feelings of that day all came back just flooding over me when I was just telling you that story. So you will always remember how somebody makes you feel and if somebody is treating you with that disrespect or yelling and screaming in an effort to provide leadership, it's just backwards, it's not effective. You probably lose some really good people because they're going to look to find some other place to work on ourselves and whatever issues we have.

Daniela SM: 30:49

And that's when you become a better person, for others as well, and for yourself. But some people don't realize, or they don't even want to know, that there are issues they need to work on.

Ben Dias: 31:00

I agree and when you're just saying that, I feel like maybe I should just a little bit about my story and effort or hope that maybe there's somebody who will listen to your podcast that will connect this into their world and see that the opportunities are there. But when I was probably seven years old, I lived way up in northern BC. My mom grabbed whatever we had, whatever she could, and put it in the back of the pickup truck and loaded me and my two brothers into just a regular cab pickup truck. So it meant for three to sit in the front. But we fit the four of us in there, loaded everything that we could and left Left in the middle of the night and never went back to get away from an abusive I guess an abusive father and an abusive husband, and anything that we had was in the back of that truck. And we relocated to the lower mainland and then finished school, ended up having to do the job to try to help the family make it.

Ben Dias: 32:08

And this is where I said it was all about just getting a job, graduating, getting a job that now it's turned into this tremendous career. So the reason why I say that is there is an opportunity and a way to do it if you're open to it and you're fortunate enough to see the opportunity and then seize that. And for me, this was the opportunity to find some tremendous mentors and coaches, listen to their advice and then act on it, and then continue to seek more information and then act on it, and I was able to turn what was just to get a job into a career that I've been doing this line of work for over 30 years and I just feel so fortunate that I was able to go from that kind of a situation all the way to where I am now, and all of the learnings that were in between then and now are just been tremendous.

Daniela SM: 33:05

And that's wonderful. So you have a career due to the mentors that you had and the experiences that you have living, but you're also a good leader that you like to lead people, and then you want them to also grow and be better than you, because that's the goal, right.

Ben Dias: 33:21

I guess it's in the bucket of leadership to gain guidance, advice, trying to help. I was very fortunate a few years ago to get an opportunity to work with some fabulous people to put a leadership development course together and was able to teach leadership Several several cohorts of you know 20 people in each one. You know 20 people in each one. So I was able to formally actually do it too in a classroom situation to provide that as well as the day-to-day kind of practical guidance and leadership. So yes, absolutely. It's a fabulous part of the work that I get to do.

Daniela SM: 34:00

And do you think that that's the most rewarding from the rest of all the things you do?

Ben Dias: 34:05

Not necessarily the process of providing it, but when you see somebody else be successful. That is by far the best part of what I get to do is watch somebody else maybe not sure where their career was going. Then they found opportunities. They'd have to go off and do a bunch of hard work and then to watch them be successful and then for their careers to take off Absolutely the best part of the job.

Daniela SM: 34:31

Have you had opportunities where you were mentoring somebody? It didn't go positively.

Ben Dias: 34:35

Yes, definitely, that definitely happens, more than on more than one occasion, for sure.

Daniela SM: 34:40

And what do you think is the reason?

Ben Dias: 34:42

A couple that I can think of right off the top of my head. A couple that I can think of right off the top of my head, for whatever reason, the openness to receive information and feedback either. Well, it went away, either because the individual maybe stopped trusting what I was, the information I was providing, or didn't want to do it, or maybe they felt it was just too much and they weren't capable. But really it just boiled down to that when it got into a spot where it's almost close-minded now and they didn't want to hear or didn't agree and went in a different direction.

Daniela SM: 35:14

As the leaders, we also have to adapt to people's way of learning. Is that something that you do that in these cases, would have worked, or you really did what you could? And there is sometimes. If people are close, then you can.

Ben Dias: 35:27

Well, I would never say there was nothing else I could do. I believe that I could have probably tried some other stuff, but I am definitely aware that everyone's style for burning is different and I did try several different pieces in there. But you just reminded me of another story I'd like to share. I told you I got to do a leadership, I got to teach a leadership course here and in the course. Part of it is that at the end the students do a capstone project where they get up in front of their other students and they present on what their learnings were. Actually they could present on whatever they wanted to, but it needed to tie back to the content of the course. And there was an older lady who I gave everyone at the beginning of the assignment my cell number and said if anyone is nervous or doesn't really know what to do, please phone me and we'll arrange to get together and I'll help you.

Ben Dias: 36:26

So this lady who was near the end of her career and was a former prison guard so she's got a real presence to her she said I don't know what to present on and I said well, talk to me a little bit about this stuff. And we were in another media room and there was a whiteboard and there was a marker and she started talking. She goes you know, what I've learned is that my leadership style. I need to be able to adapt that to the people that I'm trying to lead, because not everyone follows the same types of directions. So I'm learning that there are some people that I can just be really short and to the point with and other people I need to take time to explain to. And then she talked about stopping and listening instead of just that one-way communication. And as she's talking, I'm making notes on the driver's board. Oh, she's had to adapt her leadership style. She's working on her two-way communication, and that she came from a world where she worked in a very male-dominant industry and she was fortunate enough to find a mentor there that really helped her and empowered her.

Ben Dias: 37:35

Oh, and I wrote on there empowered and stuff, and she told a fabulous story about this empowering. And then I turned to her and I said are you wondering what I'm writing on the board? She's like, yeah, I'm kind of wondering. I'm like this is your presentation, what you've just told me.

Ben Dias: 37:50

You give me goosebumps because it was so powerful what you've just talked about, how your leadership has transformed from your early days as a prison guard to now where you're leading a group of people of various ages and genders. It was just fabulous. So then I got to sit in the audience to watch her presentation and she went up there and presented on this, and it was just an absolutely fabulous opportunity to get to work with her, provide some guidance and then watch her be so successful. And this is a person who didn't even know what to present on, but she was filled with this leadership, not because of the course, but because of her and just a little bit of guidance and some more information. She just absolutely was demonstrating the kind of stuff that we like to see in other people.

Daniela SM: 38:43

Wonderful Ben. Did you learn any leadership skills from your mom?

Ben Dias: 38:47

Definitely I learned I don't know if they're leadership skills, but I learned hard work. Might be scary to get out of a bad situation, but grab your stuff and get out and then start working on what you're going to do next. So I definitely learned that and perseverance the stuff that we went through as a not a wealthy family and a very small family with not a lot of means that hard work, perseverance and leadership. My mom raised me and my two brothers by herself. You know we're three brothers. We did what normally three brothers would do in the 70s and 80s and 90s kind of thing.

Daniela SM: 39:28

So yes, and your brothers are similar to your personality as well.

Ben Dias: 39:32

I feel they are. We've got our own identities, but there are so many similarities in there. Both my brothers are very successful. That's awesome.

Daniela SM: 39:40

And you have kids as well.

Ben Dias: 39:41

I do, I have three kids, yeah.

Daniela SM: 39:43

Do you use your leadership skills? I do, I have three kids, yeah, do you use your leadership?

Ben Dias: 39:46

skills, some of them, definitely, and I do use my leadership skills with them. But what's happened now? Because they're all in their 20s, now they're starting to turn it around and they're developing their own and are challenging me. Like you know, dad, this is not what you said. Really, is that your approach to this and now finding they're starting to now provide guidance and leadership? To me it's tremendous.

Daniela SM: 40:11

Oh, that's amazing. Well, that's the point. Right. I will read you something the highest compliment to be bestowed on a parent is a child surpassing them. I always believe that what you're saying about your kids, they surpass you.

Ben Dias: 40:24

And I agree with that. In this case you're talking about our children because they're obviously so dear to us. But second to that, second, maybe third to that, watching other people just they don't need to be family. I agree, the pride you take from seeing a child surpass you is just hard to describe. But watching other people also do that is tremendously rewarding and fulfilling.

Daniela SM: 40:52

Yes, yes. So what is next for you?

Ben Dias: 40:54

What is next for me? I'm going to look to finish off my career on a very high note, which I feel like I am right now, so I'm going to try to keep this going, and then I'm going to start figuring out what the next chapter looks like, which is possibly retirement.

Daniela SM: 41:09

Okay, well, I'm sure leadership is always going to be there for you.

Ben Dias: 41:14

Well, it's funny you say that because a part of retirement is okay, I may retire from my current job, but what will I do after that? And I feel like that, something in that leadership, that coaching, that mentoring. I listened to a couple of the other podcasts that you've had where individuals went on to coach and mentor in the fitness industry. Some went on to actual professional coaching and leadership. So when I listened to those other two gentlemen I was like interesting.

Daniela SM: 41:44

Yes, yes, well, I hope to see you again. Thank you so much for the story and for talking and so wonderful things about this subject of leadership.

Ben Dias: 41:52

Thank you very much for having me have a great day. Thank you.

Daniela SM: 41:54

I hope this story of kindness and leadership gave you something to reflect on. If you enjoyed this episode, share it with someone who could use a reminder of the power of empathy and mentorship, letting that ordinary magic spread a little further. Join me next time for another story conversation. Thank you for listening. Hasta pronto.