Stop Running, Your Shadow Will Find You!- with Cassandra DeAnn

Unearth the transformative power of facing your shadows with our guest for today, the awe-inspiring Cassandra DeAnn. Her journey from a toxic upbringing to becoming an artist and a spiritual guide is a testament to the power of resilience and self-discovery. Cassandra, now a certified human design reader, gene keys guide, and a successful podcast host, shares her insights on how our upbringing can shape our understanding of our shadows and how running from them can often lead to a cycle of blame and self-sabotage.

In this provoking conversation, we navigate the depths of human design and how it can help us align with our true selves. Cassandra also shares how prioritizing self-care and practicing mindfulness, even in chaos, can aid in this transformative journey. Inspired by our discussion, there is a meditative exercise to help you reconnect with your life goals and mission. This episode is a stirring mix of personal anecdotes, expert insights, and practical exercises, perfect for anyone looking to understand themselves better, confront their shadows, and unlock their true potential.

Cassandra's contact details: https://www.cassandradeann.com/

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:38

Hello, my lovely listeners, and I'm back again with another episode and we've got an amazing guest lined up. But before we get into the details of the episode, as always, I'd like you to start with a moment of calmness. So let's all just sit up straight, take some slow, calm, deep breaths in and out through the nostrils. As you inhale, feel as if the abdomen expands and as you exhale, feel as if the abdomen comes in. So in and out through the nostrils, this kind of calming in and out calmness of the breath as you find yourself landing in the moment. And I can be as guilty as anyone else of rushing around and doing too much, but I will balance this out. While I'm doing a lot, I realise that I kind of get feel burnt out when I have not been breathing deeply enough. So we breathe automatically. But I'm not talking about that gaspy, fight and blight breath. I'm talking about calming, long, deep breaths. B I've not sat down for a moment to myself. Finally, I've been trying to give too much of myself to other people and don't get me wrong, my doors always open. I love helping people. That is my job. But sometimes we've got to put little boundaries in place because, you know if we, if we can be too, given we kind of become a bit the martyr. So it's important to kind of get that balance right. So, as always, do remember that you can reach out to us for amazing shamanic healing and energy healing sessions at shamanichealingsearth that shamanichealingsearth, as well as yoga and other things.

Speaker 1: 2:19

Today's guest grew up in a toxic home where she was told she was no good. Despite that, she managed to turn her life around. In a moment we will welcome Cassandra Daan. She's got this amazing life story and I'll let her tell you in better detail. But just to summarize, as she sat in a therapist chair in her late 20s, on the edge of a divorce, the therapist suggested that she find a hobby, which really helped because it set a chain reaction of events. And then she discovered Cassandra discovered her skillset as an artist and she began to work creatively and she understood that she could do things right and she wasn't useless, as she had been told. And the patterns in her life began to repeat in the form of burnout. But she started to notice these patterns and subconsciously she realised she was trying to numb the pain. Anyway, she experienced a spiritual awakening during a solar eclipse and she began to find the answers and reframe her whole outlook on her life and had some wonderful experiences. And then she trained as a human design reader and also a certified gene keys guide.

Speaker 1: 3:46

She runs a successful podcast called Things I Talk About, which also focuses on raising consciousness, stories of transformation and empowerment, and that's why I was so keen to get her on the show. She sounds a wonderful human being and I feel like she's going to give some great value to all of you, dear listeners. So, without further ado, please welcome Cassandra DeAnne to the show. Hi, cassandra, hi, hi. I'm so pleased that you could join us today. And, just for our listeners, where are you joining us from?

Speaker 2: 4:18

I am in a small city in Florida. Ooh nice, yeah, hot weather, hot weather right now.

Speaker 1: 4:28

No, I'm so jealous because it's night here and it's not too bad actually for October, but it's not hot weather like you'd have in Florida. So, cassandra, I got you on the show because you are also fellow podcaster, but you're an expert on many things and you've had an extraordinary life, and I thought who better to speak to us today about stopping us from running from our shadow and as it will find us, than you? So today's theme is stop running from your shadow, it will find you, and we'd like to hear your advice from you, cassandra. But first of all, would you mind just sharing a little bit about your journey and your life experience so far? Thank you, Absolutely, absolutely.

Speaker 2: 5:16

And I just want to say I am so excited to be here on this show with you. Thank you so much for having me. I'm super excited. So a little bit about my journey.

Speaker 2: 5:31

So I grew up in a religiously abusive home and I entered into the world with really no idea what I was doing. We were very sheltered. We weren't really given the skills of how to do the adult thing. So for most of my life I felt like I just kind of was fumbling through it and it's. You know I, while I separated to some degree from some of my upbringing as a child, I found that the fear followed me. I had a hard time living on my own.

Speaker 2: 6:13

There was a lot of other symptoms that went along with my upbringing. I found myself, interestingly enough, as I look back and reflect, in similar environments in situations where there was a dynamic of feeling like there was unusual expectations from me and this feeling that I could never meet those expectations. I felt like I was constantly letting people down and I almost felt like someone just to be tolerated. Obviously, living like that doesn't exactly do well for your career, your jobs, your relationships, your marriage, and so there were so many pieces and parts in between that I could share. But it was a long journey and ultimately we never did know that. Those things why I found myself in counseling with my husband on the edge of divorce. That was the first time that the seed was sown to consider anything about my upbringing. Up until then I thought to myself well, I'm doing better than my parents, I'm nothing like them. Surely they're not affecting me. That was the first time I started to unwind some of that. Even at that it was a little chaotic.

Speaker 2: 7:47

Ultimately, in my 40s I had an extremely unusual spiritual awakening during a solar eclipse, which, from what I've heard from many others, it's a little unusual. Normally there's some sort of more significant circumstances. I joke that I wasn't really the likely candidate for this because, growing up in a religiously abusive home I was not taste testing the various belief systems out there. I was just trying to stay in my lane, hope I was good enough and get by. I joke that the universe finally was like okay, we got to start moving her forward, let's just do this thing.

Speaker 2: 8:36

Overnight I became a completely different person. It was a shock to my husband, my friends, everybody that knew me. I had one friend tell me once during this process that every few weeks we would get together and she'd say I have to get to know you all over again because you're growing and accelerating at such a rapid pace, you're changing so much and evolving so quickly. It was quite the journey of going through a lot of my shadows, a lot of those things that were kind of poking at me through my life and I kept pushing out of the way to not deal with. Now I'm a certified human design reader and a Gene Key's guide. I just have this passion for helping individuals understand who they are and embody their authentic expression. Yeah, that's where I'm at.

Speaker 1: 9:51

Wow, that's quite a story, Absolutely remarkable. I could ask you millions of questions. I am intrigued when you had the spiritual awakening, because it feels like to me it was what the universe wanted you to go through then at that particular time. But did you feel like I guess I do? You've been shocked yourself and people had to get to to know you again. And that Did it happen quite quickly, or was it like it let you join that eclipse and then you woke up a different person the next day?

Speaker 2: 10:23

Yes, it was literally the next day, my energy shift. A lot of it was all of a sudden. Things related to astrology that I've never studied. I just instantly had this unfolding. That continued and the journey has been short. I awaken on June 9th of 2021. It's only been about two years since this experience. When I certified in human design, which is a very complicated system with many, many layers, I feel the information sort of arose from my being and I absorbed it at an impressive rate. I think that the wisdom and this was just destined, it was meant to be, and my time came, and now here I am.

Speaker 1: 11:24

Fantastic. We're the best person to be on the show then to talk about shadows and how we do try and run away from our shadows. And as the premises of this podcast, they find us Not to scare our listeners, but first of all, could you explain a bit about what our shadow is for those who may not maybe think, oh, it's just a bad side.

Speaker 2: 11:50

Oh my goodness, absolutely yes, I think this is something that you can find. So many different definitions of how people define your shadow. I see it as this. I see it as it is that part of us that can be associated with maybe our initial soul's essence of journeys and things we were here to evolve from. It can be an unconscious side of ourself that is constantly tapping us on the shoulder, trying to get our attention.

Speaker 2: 12:28

A lot of times you hear words like shadow work and looking at your shadow, because what we're looking at is when we're not evolved yet from these journeys that were meant to go on. A lot of times, our shadow side of ourselves is connected to lower vibrational frequencies. If your repression is one, shame, guilt, anger, fear these lower expressions can often be connected or associated with our shadow. Because what are we here to do? We're here to grow and evolve as we understand these shadows and these journeys that we transmute them into light, into higher vibrational frequencies like peace and love and joy. The shadow I see as that subconscious part of ourselves that wants our attention, wants to, is here to go through those journeys. It's not necessarily good or bad. As long as we live on this Earth experiment thing. There's always going to be polarity. There's always, I believe, going to be journeys of growth and evolution, because that's why we're here.

Speaker 1: 14:39

Absolutely, absolutely. If not, there wouldn't be much point in my opinion. And it was kind of from your definition of the shadow. Then it it. I had this vision of someone like trying to walk along the road and they're just trying to go from like A to B, but then they've got like these chains, whatever they may be, like shame, fear, and it's kind of like kind of weighing, weighing them down, but they kind of just want to be seen so that you can kind of take them off the ankles. That's that's. That's a picture that came to me as you were sharing. Love it.

Speaker 2: 15:11

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1: 15:13

Oh, fantastic. So why do we hate a shadow so much? And, and, and. How does it find it?

Speaker 2: 15:21

Oh goodness, that is a really good question. You know, and I think that a lot of this kind of goes to we can look at the world we live in right now. You know how a lot of us were brought up. I mean, I know myself I wasn't brought up in an environment that really valued your emotional intelligence or, you know, valued your expression. You know, I was often told you know what are you crying about? Or you know things like this I know that my parents were raised that way and I can only imagine you know their parents as well.

Speaker 2: 16:00

So until I feel like we start to cultivate environments and you know structures where we're able to say you know, it's okay, look at. You know I talked about earlier the polarity of things, but we there's so many complications here. One is the structures not looking at it. Two is the boxes. We're often put in boxes. If you look like this or if you're like this, then you're doing correct, you know this is right. If you don't look like that, you're following a part, you're a mess, you're not responsible, you know, and that's not accurate.

Speaker 2: 16:41

We are multifaceted individuals that have many different aspects and expressions and there's no right and wrong on them. So I think that so many people have learned to very well repress these expressions and repress these things, and because we don't know how to deal with it, I think the next step comes that we weren't given the tools so often that we resort to blame. So you can sit in a coffee shop and sit and tune into your environment and chances are you're going to hear multiple conversations about how somebody's life is going or career is going because of somebody else's. You know something or another, so we don't know what to do with it. We haven't.

Speaker 2: 17:32

So many of us haven't been taught, so we just it was like well, someone has to be blamed, so where can I pin it? And so what happens is then we look outside of ourselves for all of the things we need love, acceptance, joy, you know, freedom all of that we, we tend to look externally for, and so all of these things cultivate an environment in which we're not self-reflecting, and that is the key for, you know, addressing our shadow. It's caring enough about yourself, caring enough about this moment right now, to say, with, with curiosity and, you know, inquiry, why do I feel this way? And the desire to want to understand and provide what it is that you need for yourself. If you feel hurt by something, asking yourself, why did this hurt me? You know, and exploring in deeper, but I think that you know up until I think you know, recently a lot of that language hasn't really been out there.

Speaker 1: 18:46

Yeah, no, I can relate to all of that. It's fascinating stuff, isn't it? It's just fun. It's so interesting and and and stuff. So human design. I'm really intrigued with this human design. How can it help with the shadow and can you explain what about what it is?

Speaker 2: 19:06

Absolutely yes, of course. So human design first. I'll give you a little bite-size idea of what it is. So this is a modality that uses a variety of different ancient science and modern science and, kind of like, pulls them all together. So it uses a lot of astrology, the ancient Chinese, each thing, the Kabbalah Tree of Life and the Hindu chakra systems, and it also mixes in quantum physics and biochemistry and you know, circuitry, all these things, and it pulls it together to create what is called your body graph, or you can look at it as your human design chart, and what this is is. This is essentially I look at it as your light signature or your blueprint, and I think that any modality such as you know astrology, even numerology, things along that lines.

Speaker 2: 20:10

What we're gathering is information of our genetic you know our light signature for this life, and so this information is very layered and offers us insights on who we are and how we interact with the world, what we share with the world. And it's beautiful because it's all about saying there is not one size fits all. There is each one of us unique and individual, and there's nobody just like you, and you are here to share something special that's unique to you, and often with this comes that the things that we're naturally inquisitive or excited about, or drawn to, or things that come natural to us, these are the gifts that we're meant to share with the world. But so often we overlook them because we're raised in cultures that teach us to drive and push and, you know, conquer the thing that's hard, and we overlook these natural gifts and talents that our soul, you know, we were brought here with for our purpose. So human design is excellent at helping us understand how we're calibrating or aligning with this, because many, many layers are connected to modalities that do have a sense of polarity to them.

Speaker 2: 21:45

So, for example, looking at one particular piece, I love is the each thing. So there are 64 hexagrams in the each thing which are woven into the human design system. For each one of them there is a gift potential and a shadow side which shows a repressive or a reactive side. So, for example, we recently the sun was activating gate 32. And human design, the shadow of this is fear of failure, and so, while that was going on, collectively we were all sort of looking at what we wanted to do and how we looked at things as it related to success and failure. Now, the gift potential of that is having this amazing endurance, that you are able to withstand and go through things that are challenging and come out on the other side with success. And so you have two expressions. So they help. Human design helps us in so many ways. Every aspect of the chart, even outside of the each thing. There's polarity there that you can sort of look at and understand how you are calibrating, how you are aligned or expressing your energy.

Speaker 1: 23:16

Oh, it's fascinating. It's just so it can basically anyone that's kind of stuck. They can have this human design and it will show them like the shadow and their gifts and wow, it's really refreshing. It means really refreshing, and yes, we're all so different about. We are kind of taught to kind of just push and goal and that's like success and it's almost like to be able to be still and kind of just be. That's kind of part of the battle. Well, it's the battle that I find anyway, these days. Is there anything that you, cassandra, still struggle with which? I know it's a silly question, because anyone has things to still struggle with, but Anif.

Speaker 1: 24:04

so how do you never get through that?

Speaker 2: 24:08

Oh, that is a good question. Oh, yes, I absolutely. I think that things can come easier to us, but I think there are certain aspects of our journey that are challenging for me. I know we talked a little bit about human design. There is a aspect of my chart that's called the Identity Center, which is connected to love, identity and direction Based on my particular placement.

Speaker 2: 24:45

I find it interesting it aligns as well with my upbringing that I have challenges with finding my value as an individual, being getting lost in relationships. These are some of the signs that this quality has. So instantly I can look at it and say, reflect on my upbringing and say, okay, my soul chose these circumstances, these situations, because it was the perfect ingredients to help me grow and evolve in this area, because the gift is, once I navigate and learn these, I learned valuable lessons, such as there is an adaptability to myself, to where I have an energy that is meant to mean a number of different things to a number of different people. I can reach them where they're at. I can walk in their shoes. I can be empathetic to their circumstances.

Speaker 2: 25:52

Now, the shadow of this I have struggled the most with is trying to find myself through validation or fear that I was not doing what I should Like. There was a right or wrong way. I needed somebody else to tell me I was definitely the person that was like give me the list of things I can do so I can do them and check them off and know that I'm a good person. And that's how I was raised in my religiously abusive home, which was taken way too far. So while I have evolved a lot, there are times in which I find myself thinking, oh, I see your shadow, I see you there, and I can treat with gentleness self-reflection.

Speaker 2: 26:47

I don't say, oh, here you go again, cassandra, you know when are you gonna learn? That is not gonna do any good. We don't wanna beat ourselves up over our shadows. It's like yelling at a toddler who's learning to walk. You know, for falling down. That's silly. And so we look at it with gentleness, we accept and, where we are, we celebrate how far we've gone. I mean the fact that I'm recognizing it is to be celebrated. And over time, as we continue to look at our shadows, accept them, learn from them, it gets easier and easier. So while it is easier and easier, I do still notice that that's a hard one for me.

Speaker 1: 27:32

Validation- oh, I like that with the gentleness as well, because if we do I do that sometimes. If I'm doing something with shine, it's like a pattern. I'm like, oh, why are you doing that again? But yeah, be kind, gentleness. There's enough unkindness as there is in the world about with doing it to ourselves Absolutely. So I love that, cassandra. That's absolutely fantastic. So, cassandra, you have a podcast as well. Could you let Alice know all about that please?

Speaker 2: 28:02

Oh, yes, I do. It's called Things I Talk About which I do like to talk, so it seemed a little bit fitting. And the things I like to talk about are generally in the realms of astrology, human design, gene keys, you know, building our confidence, understanding ourselves. You know, a lot of human design is about discovering who you are. So a lot of conversation about that spiritual, you know, evolution and personal awareness.

Speaker 1: 28:36

Yeah, oh fantastic. So I'll put a link for that as well in the show, not so that a listener's you're welcome. I think you know we should all like stick together and help each other in this world, and it's, and they are of such good value to listeners. So I'm very happy to share the details of that. If I'm a listener and I'm thinking, oh yes, I want to get me some of that human design, how can they work with you and reach out to you?

Speaker 2: 29:04

That's yeah, absolutely so. I'm one of those people that is, I have a big heart and I just love this information so much. It feels important to me that it's accessible. So, depending on where you're at, there are options for you to take advantage of. You know, if, for those that are more in a time in their life where they're more restricted, you can check out my podcast. I talk a lot about human design there. You can also download a free human design chart. On my website, I have a few offers that are like $10 or less where you can download guides that are introductions to human design, you know, or personal information on your human design chart. I have reports that are printable and then I have readings where you can get on the computer. You know, do a Zoom call with me more one-on-one and we'll dive into your unique energy.

Speaker 1: 30:14

Oh, so you've got something for everyone. That's really made it really accessible. You've got things from free right the way, free to have them one-to-one. That's excellent. And what is your website, cassandra? I'll put it in the show notes as well, yeah yeah, so it's my name, cassandra D-A-N-D-E-A-N-N.

Speaker 2: 30:32

dot com.

Speaker 1: 30:33

Perfect. Oh well, so listeners, do do check that out and remember there's also like a free human design chart there, so it's really worth checking that way. Cassandra, is there anything else on today's podcast that you wish you would cover and you'd like to speak about?

Speaker 2: 30:50

Oh, that's so good. Yeah, I would say I love how you pointed out when I mentioned about gentleness. I think that that would be just going back to that, you know, because I think that slowing down and gentleness right there, because those I think are some of the easiest but the hardest things that you know in this society we live in today. Thank you. One of the things I like to mention to people or say is you know, if you say, oh, cassandra, I don't have time to sit down and self-reflect and try to unwind these things, a simple way to start to get in connection to yourself is find little things.

Speaker 2: 31:41

Next time you're in traffic, instead of being frustrated, take that as an opportunity to take a few deep breaths, check in with your body, check in with your feelings. You know, step outside, Feel the weather, feel the grass between your toes. When we take these small moments in life, we're inviting gentleness, we're inviting self-reflection, we're inviting a pause that speaks to our essence to say, hey, okay, I'm pausing. What would you like to say to me? And you might be surprised what you start to reflect or understand. From then. Go to meditation. I'm a big fan of meditation, but start out gentle, start out small and I'm pretty sure your essence of who you are will start to speak with you.

Speaker 1: 32:37

Absolutely love that and that's so helpful because we do say, don't we, that we don't have enough time. Yes, I don't know if some of you have this picture in the head, like there's going to be this golden stream of time where we can suddenly kind of find ourselves and life's not like that. It's getting those five minutes where you say, no, this is for me, this is my time, cassandra, I really have to have you on the show again. This has been absolutely amazing. As always, listeners do stay tuned. There will be a meditation to follow, inspired by today's show, but thank you once again to Cassandra Diane. Thank you so much for joining us today from Florida, and thank you, thank you, thank you. Oh, you're very welcome, thank you. As promised, here is your meditation inspired by today's show.

Speaker 1: 33:31

Top tips for the meditation is either sit nice and cross-legged on the floor with a nice straight back always nice to sit on a block or a cushion. Well, that's not available for you. You sit in a chair with the back nice and straight. The important thing is you're not slouching, and if you're doing something that requires you concentration, all you need to do is just pause this and you can reconvene the meditation at a time that is good for you. If you're doing the meditation, let's begin. I'm going to take a quick look at the water from the bridge behind me. I'm going to take some slow, calm, deep breaths and just start to take some steps.

Speaker 1: 34:28

By your imagination, you can also be in a forest, with all its noises, and as you breathe slowly, calmly and deeply in this forest, you start to take a little journey. So you're walking slowly on the ground and as you walk along in your imagination, you know that change is made up of steps, always done from a place of mindfulness, as much as we can. Sometimes we have to dive in deep and sometimes we have to step in slow. But whatever we do for life, everything happens by making the first step. So what first steps can you make today? What changes? Perhaps to slightly go outside one's comfort zone, which isn't always what we want to do. However, remember, there's more discomfort in life by not making changes that are for our good than by being in the comfort of unease. Disease in the body is when we're at disease.

Speaker 1: 36:33

So what small steps can you make today as you walk through this imaginary forest? The sound of the feet on the ground, the smell of the flowers, the wild flowers, the rustle of the little creatures, the song of bird. What is your song? What is your goal? What is your mission in life? The textures of the leaves, the ground. What can you show up today to do? That might be slightly discomfort in the long term Will bring ease Whatever that is for you. Perhaps, as we come out with this meditation, as you inhale, as you exhale, you begin to make a note of it and with each day you can make a note of which step you can make towards that. It can be a little step. Sometimes it's a giant leap, it's just a tiny microstep, but whatever it is, just step into your flow.