Bitesize Summer: You don't need to achieve something every moment of your life.

Remember the last time you were supposed to be relaxing but couldn't shake that nagging feeling you should be doing something "productive" instead? That's exactly what this bite-sized episode tackles – our complicated relationship with true rest in a world obsessed with achievement.

Drawing from personal experience, I share how I once couldn't fully enjoy beautiful vacations because I was mentally trapped in what I "should" be accomplishing. Whether sitting on an Italian beach feeling guilty for not writing enough words toward my book, or returning from holidays feeling like I needed another break just to recover, I've learned that our approach to relaxation profoundly impacts our wellbeing. The good news? There's a better way.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Summer Bites Introduction
• 2:29 Overcoming Relaxation Guilt
• 5:03 Finding Balance in Rest
• 7:46 Self-Care in a Demanding World
• 9:59 Sensory Awareness Meditation
• 11:36 Meditation Practice

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:38

and it's going to be a bite-sized edition be depending on if you're on the northern, southern eastern, western hemisphere, you'll have different weather. It is summertime here, so I am going to call it the summertime bites, but it's gonna. I'm gonna make it as universal as I can so that those of you wonderful listeners who are in a different part of the world this still has relevance to you, for this show goes out to 1276 different cities worldwide, 94 different countries worldwide, and I always feel honored and humbled that so many people listen to it. And with it being summer months here for the next few weeks, I'm gonna offer some shorter but wiser podcasts.

Speaker 1: 1:29

And I was reflecting back to when I was younger and, be it a nice cozy winter weekend where I decided to have a more relaxing weekend, or be it on a nice summer holiday somewhere warm, I could never let myself fully relax because I was thinking that I had to kind of be someone or get somewhere or achieve something. And I remember being in a beautiful place somewhere way back beautiful Italy and enjoying the days when I was like outside, seeing, because I could feel like I could really fully go into the moment. But, you know, the rest days in between. That's why I kind of used to struggle and it was like, instead of enjoying some books that I would like to read, which I hadn't read for a while, I felt like I was letting myself down if I didn't write so many thousands of words towards whatever book I was working on at the time or whatever I was studying at the time, and then I would get a bit melancholic because then I'd think, oh, this holiday is just the moment, but then I have to go back to real life. It was a bit ridiculous because, of course, whenever we've had some sort of break, there's a little bit of I call it like the landing, in the sense that, like energetically, you felt a bit free, and then, of course, you're going to feel a bit bumpy when you come back to work. But that's just life.

Speaker 1: 2:55

And I've realized that I hadn't fully loved or embodied all aspects of life because I had this really harsh judgment of myself that I had to write and achieve things. And don't get me wrong, I'm the kind of person that likes to do things. So I do find writing relaxing, I do find studying stuff relaxing, but it's in moderation. And the thing is on these rest days, when I was in these beautiful places where I wasn't going out sightseeing. I would have benefited more if I could have been a bit more in the moment. And also I found as I got older that if I break things down so maybe I do want to have a bit of time to do creative stuff, but I'll do that for an hour and then maybe I'll rest and then I'll read some fiction and not feel guilty for reading fiction, because I feel like I should be putting something more intellectual into one's mind. And I also find that if I make time for things like yoga, yoga, some kind of exercise, and time just to simply be and watch the nature or watch life goes past, then I get a lot more out of that break.

Speaker 1: 4:12

And then when I was younger, I would sometimes go on holidays with my friends and obviously I was young so we'd have drinks every night. And again, I'm not saying that drinking like you can't have fun and have drinking, but there were some holidays that I literally was out so much that I needed another holiday to kind of get over it. And as I got older and my lifestyle changed and I felt more peaceful doing things that were a bit more holistic, reflected back. I would have got a lot more out of it just if I went on a friend's holiday. We went out one night, had a nice night out somewhere, and then balanced out with like more peaceful and quiet times, because I feel like we've only life is getting more stranger, like the political scene we won't get into politics, but is. The world has become a very different place from when I was younger and I just feel that we're getting kind of more crushed and condensed and demanded to be a certain way, and the only way we can get our sovereignty back is to find ways to care for ourselves. So I really don't recommend looking at the news first thing at night or last thing at night, and I recommend looking at in moderation because I know that can cause stress also, like all the violence that's films and stuff. Maybe you've got the kind of mind that can watch these kind of movies and then switch off, then great. But if you're sensitive, then just don't do it.

Speaker 1: 5:51

When you go on holiday, sometimes if you're a group of people, it feels like there's pressure to please everyone. Maybe you have a day for yourself and you do what you wish to do, and if it's like the winter months where you are and it's not so nice to go out. Could you do like an all senses meal where you go and pick, like you pick a recipe which encompasses all the different colored vegetables, etc. Your favorite food, and you, you mindfully and slowly prepare this food, look, taking in the textures, the tastes, the smell, even like the sounds, when you're like cooking, and how does that feel? And you could curl up for like a nice hot drink and a nice book or, if not, a novel, something else that you like to read. So I'm trying to kind of inspire you to stay away from what's easiest and I can do it sometimes as well, like watch, gardening things, and. But the thing is we spend so much on time online. Tell me like listen to a podcast, music, something else, rather than being on a computer all the time. So this is very simple. I'm sure you already know this information, but it's like bite-sized information to help you through either the winter or the summer, where it is here and it gets hot and sticky because we're just not used to the hot weather and it's getting hotter here all the time, or it might be cold where you are, or maybe you relish the heat and you find the winter difficult. Either way, can you find things to be grateful for in that day that are going to help you through this time and help you free this time and help you feel a bit more alive and connected.

Speaker 1: 7:43

There's a special bite-sized meditation to help you through the summer months. Top tips for the meditation is either sit nice and cross-legged on the floor with a nice straight back Always nice to sit on a block or a cushion, although that's not available for you. You sit in a chair with the back nice and straight. The important thing is you're not slouching and if you're doing something that requires your concentration, all you need to do is just pause this and you can reconvene the meditation at a time that is good for you.

Speaker 1: 8:16

If you're doing the meditation, let's begin. So here's the simple meditation that you can do and you're just going to close your eyes and you're just going to take some slow, calm, deep breaths, and the simplicity in this is being in the moment. So you're just going to feel your inhalation and your exhalation, trying to breathe in a calm and loving way. So you're not rushing. You're kind of feeling a nice healthy balance as you inhale and you exhale in and out through the nostrils. You allow yourself to feel calm and you listen.

Speaker 1: 9:08

You simply listen to what sounds you can hear, even if you're in a place that's really quiet. You can hear, even if you're in a place that's really quiet. What sounds can you hear in that place? Are they loud, are they distant? Are they nearby? Are they repetitive? Do you know what all the sounds are? Or are some a mystery? And what can you feel with your hands?

Speaker 1: 9:48

So you touch the ground.

Speaker 1: 9:49

What's around you?

Speaker 1: 9:51

As you open the eyes, you can touch it around and see what's around. What does that feel like? And as your eyes are open, what can you see in the room? Is anything that you haven't noticed before? And, without judgment, you can kind of look and think oh, there's a mark on the wall there. Oh, there's a picture here, there's this, there's that, and what can you smell? Close your eyes again and what can you smell with your nose, and then you can stick out your tongue and imagine what the room tastes like, and then you can feel from your inner being how this environment makes you feel without your doing. But do you feel calmer, do you feel softer? Do you feel more able to go about your day, so feel free to sit longer in this, but it is a bite-sized edition, so I'm going to bring you back into the moment, back back into the now. But any point during the day and you've got somewhere peaceful to sit, you can just try and observe everything that's around you and that can help bring you into this bite-sized moment.