Becoming The Woman You Once Needed

What if the person you needed years ago is the person you are now? I take you through a candid self-interview on growth, spirituality, and the quiet work of becoming.

 I share how small, ordinary moments—like a hot cup of tea during loss—can become anchor points, and how noticing them keeps us from bypassing real feelings. We dig into the difference between performing spirituality and practicing it: not lofty labels, but how we treat others, ourselves, and the world when no one is watching.

 What no longer fits? What tiny habit helps? 

We close with a guided meditation that invites you to take an eagle’s view of your life, seeing the balance of joy and pain from above so you can return to earth more centered. If you’re craving practical spirituality, emotional clarity, and a kinder inner voice, this one’s for you.

If this resonated, follow the show, share it with a friend who’s in the thick of growth, and leave a quick review to help others find us. Your reflections shape future episodes—what question are you asking yourself today?

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Chapters

• 0:00 Becoming The Woman I Needed
• 4:10 Big Picture Over Toxic Positivity
• 5:44 Outgrowing Old Selves
• 6:31 Tiny Moments That Shift Faith
• 8:26 Meditation In A Noisy City
• 10:17 Letting Go And Being Disliked
• 12:45 Truth, Boundaries, And Grace
• 13:59 Where Spirituality Stays Messy
• 16:58 Forgiveness And Big Questions
• 18:27 A Message From Future Self

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 1:50

This week's podcast is a self-interview on becoming the woman I once needed on spirituality in the years that I have reached. And I felt it was really important to share this episode with you, dear listeners, because we're always working on ourselves, right? That's why you've tuned into this podcast, is one of the reasons I'm guessing. And we're always a work in progress, and yet we're perfect and beautiful as we are. That is something to really remember. Sometimes we can get a bit frustrated because there's those kind of little things that kind of habits or things that just never work out in a certain way, and all these different things that I feel like they're blocking us from being our full, amazing potential. But I'm here to let you know that you're beautiful and wonderful as you are, but again, we can still work on things as well at the same time. And I feel that we are so hard on ourselves. But if we were only to look back from where we are now, nine times out of ten, we will see that we have become the woman that we once needed. I am the woman that I once needed in my teens, 20s, 30s, 40s. I am that woman now, and I can see the stuff that I was working on at the time that felt impossible, and the stuff that there's still some blocks, don't get me wrong, but there's it's it gives me kind of a sense of hope when I look back and actually think, you know what? Yes, I did learn that. And the first truth I told myself at this age that I couldn't face at 30 was that not everyone is going to like us, not everybody is going to see the world through our lens, and then and really why why should they? And one of the greatest truths that I told myself now, which I didn't always realize when I was younger, was to see the big picture on things, and to see that you know, we always view life through our limited perception, and that's not to that's not to say there's anything wrong with us, but we we can't help it because of the stuff that's happened to us in our lives, that's how we view life, and that's how we see the lens of our life. But if we have a big bird's eye view of things, then we can see life through a more kind of abundant, beautiful way, and in all levels. So I'm not into that toxic positivity where we just think everything's great and we just competent everything's great. No, that doesn't work because that just pushes stuff down. Instead, when there's difficult situations, try and see the silver lining and the blessings. I know, like when I lost a relative, the blessing was when I had like a nice hot cup of tea. Um, it did obviously that's not going to cure the grief that I was feeling, but it it helped me feel nurtured and and and kind of a sense of joy. So it's those kind of little things that can make a big difference. And what part, here's my next question to myself, what part of my life do I no longer fit even though I pretended it did? So what part of my life back then do I no longer fit even though at the time I pretended it? I definitely don't fit in. I was so kind of a little bit in love with myself back then, and it was so superficial that I kind of thought that that was not that that was all that I worked on, don't get me wrong, but it was more like, yeah, it's just like okay, so what, you know? And that part of me know like no longer fits where yeah, I definitely still take care of myself. And my next another question to myself is what what is the tiny ordinary moment that shifted my entire spiritual path? Wow, that is quite a question because there's been there's been so many twists and turns in in my spiritual path over the years, and it has been quite a vast and beautiful but also difficult thing. I guess one of the things was realizing that because just because we say we're spiritual doesn't mean that we necessarily are. And one of the points was when I realized the toxic spirituality where it kind of people were getting into a competition about how spiritual they were. And then I thought that kind of missed the point. It's just I guess it's it comes from a sense of validation. So I realized actually being spiritual is not preaching what that one's spiritual, it's how you treat other people and how you treat yourself and how you treat the world, and that's still a work in progress. I'm far from perfect, but that's one of the tiny moments that shift my entire path. But on a on a beautiful thing, one of one of those small but mighty moments was meditation and sitting down to it and doing it. And today, I must be honest, I did struggle with a meditation. I'm in the city at the moment, and the air feels very fizzy, and a lot of people in a lot of a lot of people in this small area, and London's just not what it used to be, in my opinion. That couldn't sound like really negative, but that's how I feel sometimes, and it it just felt so fizzy. So I could have gone on that trajectory of thinking, oh no, I can't do it, but I just sat down and did what I could, and that made me feel better. What did I uh let go of that secretly set me free? Hmm. The latest thing is sweet things because I eat really healthily, but I found that I was having like dark chocolate every day, and I know it's good for you in moderation, but for me, it wasn't a good thing to do because it was kind of making it hard for me to meditate and also see the big picture. Maybe I had a sensitivity to it, so I've kind of cut that out. So that's I feel like that's set me free, and then also what set me free was when I read the book, The Courage to Be Disliked, and that that's a great book. Uh the author's name eludes me at the moment, but if you just look up The Courage to be disliked, you'll find that the book. And grateful to that author because it made me realise actually we don't necessarily we're brought up to believe that we should be liked and that we need to be liked, and all this thing, and it it was a really pinnacle turning point because it's there's a difference between being nice and kind, and there's a difference between being over-accommodating to the sense that it is to our own demise where we're not speaking our truth, and it's a fine line. Sometimes I feel I see people that speak the truth too much to the point where they it's just how they just say the first thing that comes into the head, and I think that's equally as harmful as when we don't say our truth, and sometimes it's so hard to say yes or no, but you know what? The more we get used to saying it, the easier it becomes. So that is one of my my top tips then. Where is my spirituality still messy? Oh, don't get me started. I'd say all of it, the more I learn that the the least I know that makes sense. I think it's sometimes still messy where I feel a little bit hurt by the world because it sometimes feels like there's so much self-interest in the world that it's hard to see the kindness in people where and just everyone just seems so kind of miserable, and then I tr I find myself judging, and that's where it's still messy because you know what? That's their path. If they want to be miserable, that's fine, and I'm far from perfect. So that is an honest thing where I'm still messy, but how do I navigate through that? I take a deep breath, I see the big picture, and I just think actually I'm just lucky and grateful to be here today. And what am I learning to forgive myself for? I'm learning to forgive myself for when I feel like I judge other people too, and um I don't always understand them, nor they always understand me. So I'm I'm learning to forgive myself for that. And again, the navigation is a big picture. What's the question I'm still afraid to ask? Um is there it is evil and is there people that are trying to keep us under control in this world? Oh, that's a strong question, and like, is people planting that so that we distrust each other, or is there a great plan? So that is one question that I'm afraid to ask, but then not at the same time if that makes sense. So if I'm going to meet my future self 10 years from now, what would she say and what would she be proud of, etc.? I think she would tell me that I'm on a good making a good I'm making a good um steps compared to like other decades, that I'm becoming more in a place of self-acceptance. She would tell me to stop worrying about the way the world is going because there's some things that I don't have control over. I think she would tell me to stop worrying, and I think she would be very proud of what I'm trying to achieve in this world. I think she would tell me to kind of relax a bit more and also to trust people a bit more. So, dear podcast listeners, maybe you could ask yourselves these questions. I know this sounds strange, but a self-interview yourself and then get the answers. And it's really insightful because I just did this about a script of my answers. I just thought, oh, actually, I'm just gonna go with the floor. But sometimes it's good to interview oneself. The wisdom that we hear within ourselves, and it's really interesting because if you interview yourself, like the questions that you it's almost as if someone has asked you that question, it's quite intriguing. So, dear listeners, I want to say thank you for listening today's show. Here's one of my favorite meditations to see you out. It's called the bird's eye view. So I hope you enjoy. Here is your meditation. Top tips for the meditation is either sit nice and cross-legged on the floor with a nice straight back. Always nice to sit on a block or a cushion, or if that's not available for you. You sit in a chair with the back nice and straight. The important thing is you're not slouching, and if you're doing something that requires concentration, all you need to do is just pause this and you can reconvene the meditation at a time that is good for you. If you're doing the meditation, that's beginning. So as you close your eyes and you breathe softly in and out through the nostrils, imagine yourself at the top of the tallest tree that you know. So tall it is up there that your feet are below the clouds, and the top of your head gently touches the top of the clouds. But as you lean and look forward a bit, you can see a vast and fantastic horizon. You can feel the wind as it blows against you. You can smell the air, which is so fresh, so crisp, and so magical. And as you look down at the arms, you no longer have arms, but you have the wings of an eagle. Those feathers, those individual feathers have that special kind of perforation on them, which allows you to kind of fly in a kind of more special way to say other birds. As you spread your wings and you take flight, you realize that via your vision you can see a vast, a bird's eye, eagle view of what is the law. There is many, many things. Or hear, you know. An argument between birds. The joy of a baby lamb running next to its mother. The slow, steady approach of a giant mountain cat as it sneaks up to its prey. Far away yes, a linear vision, the innocence of a baby crying in its mother's arms. And the smoke from their woodland house slowly cascading into the air. There is a mixture of joy, pain, happiness. But there is a natural balance to this within the universe. And as you fly and you circle and you take all these sounds, all these things in, you're able to realise that from this relaxed state of seeing everything from a bird's eye view, that everything is as perfect as it possibly can be. And there are times when you see the whole world through a bird's eye view, which allows you to see that beyond that pain and suffering, there is beauty, joy, life and wisdom. And you can take silence whenever you need as you fly with these magnificent eagle wings, as you kind of just ride the air, the waves of what is coming, what is there, with that deeper, vast sense of presence. And you can take this wisdom into your everyday world with that deeper joy and sense of being. As you slowly now take some calm deep breaths, as you come back into the moment, come back into the room, and you land into the present moment, knowing that when anything gets too much, you can take off of that bird's eye view whenever you need in the eye of your imagination.