35. The Financial, Physical, and Mental Costs of Our Periods

IUDs. Sex during periods. Pain. Discomfort. The tampon tax and all the other costs associated with our menstruations. Kristy and Angie tackle some burning questions about the ever so enduring, unbelievably persistent, biological event we unwillingly go through - our periods. We hit up our male friends and asked them to tell us something they know about menstruation and then ask something they want to know about menstruation.

Takeaways:

• We need men to do the work to normalize periods for everyone
• Periods are expensive, and pads and tampons are just the tip of the icebergs
• Severe menstrual cramps are debilitating, physically and mentally
• Just because we experience periods on a regular (or  not so regular) basis, does not dilute its severity or legitimacy 

Mentions & Resources:

• IUD Expulsion: is it as scary as it sounds?
• Intrauterine Devices (IUDs) 
• What is Dysmenorrhea?
• Effects of Premenstrual Symptoms on Bipolar
• Ovulation. Breastfeeding, and Being A Chinese Daughter ft. Georgie Mah
• Building Resiliency and Tearing Down Facades ft. Steven Ngo
• Social Justice with Your Asian Parents ft. Irving Chong

Did you enjoy this episode? The best way to support this show is by listening and sharing with a friend. If you would like to buy a coffee or bubble, we would love that too.

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Interest

Transcript

Kristy Yee: 0:01

Okay, health check 1, 2, 3, 4,

Angie Yu: 0:03

Looking pretty good.

Kristy Yee: 0:05

We are going to be talking about periods and menstruation. This episode was I was going to say, this episode is brought to you by

Angie Yu: 0:13

To you by mother nature.

Kristy Yee: 0:41

Welcome back to another episode of shit. We don't tell mom today. We're going to be talking about menstruation. This episode was requested by one of our poop troops, Lauren, and, and she said, I think one taboo subject you guys should talk about would be menstruation. Women are definitely treated like their bodies is disgusting, even though ministration is highly natural and signals that everything is working like it should be. And that women is healthy. Absolutely agree with you. So what we decided to do was ask some of our friends, specifically some male identifying friends, and we asked them two questions. And the first one, the first one is, and the first one is, tell me something off the top of your head, about menstruation without Googling, the more candid, the better. And the second question was to ask us something about menstruation. So we're going to be sharing what our friends have responded with their statement about ministration, as well as what their question is for us

Angie Yu: 1:51

yeah, exactly. Just to emphasize, these are 10 of our friends, 10 of Christie's friends there are some mutual friends. We didn't ask the same person twice, but also this is not a very accurate representation of men everywhere.

Kristy Yee: 2:04

Oh, yes. Very, very good point. Yeah. This is what we're going to be talking about today is not a representation of women in general, because it's just going to be Angie and I's experiences and is not a representation of what men think or have thoughts about in general because our sample, our sampling methods are not very great. I also asked my partner and his response was. Is no good, so much pains, like my GI, but no instant relief after explosion and by explosion, he means like diarrhea and the toilet

Angie Yu: 2:40

GI as in gastro

Kristy Yee: 2:43

intestinal. Yes. Gastrointestinal GI. So like, gut problems. And then, and then the second question or his second response to, or his response to the second question was why don't all girls that don't want to be preggers, just get an IUD. I'm gonna answer that. just from my own knowledge and I don't know, again, not representative of all females, I would say cost is a huge factor because an IUD ain't cheap that shit's like$400. The second thing would be. Because you might not be suitable to have an IUD insertion or you, your body could reject the IUD. So it's not even an option for you.

Angie Yu: 3:32

Yeah. Yep. And that's, pretty much either my experience or the experience with people I know as well. So that's a pretty good answer to wrap that up and also IUD painful. It's not like it's not like I still get, I get horrible crimes from my IUD, but anyway,

Kristy Yee: 3:47

Hmm. That's a different experience

Angie Yu: 3:50

as a completely different experience, my. cramps I've actually gotten worse just because there's something there. so it's, it's gotten better in the sense that it doesn't last as long and my periods are lighter and whatever, but, my cramps are like instead of a dull pain, like I used to be, it's now a sharp pain.

Kristy Yee: 4:10

You talk to your gynecologist about.

Angie Yu: 4:12

Yeah. I have it's it's normal. Well, it's not, it's not common, but it's normal.

Kristy Yee: 4:18

Hmm.

Angie Yu: 4:19

Yeah. Yeah. Oh. And also, I get about three days, but it's every other day it's really annoying. So like, I'll get it for a day. The next day it'll be gone. I'm like, okay, great. And then I'll get it again the day after. And then maybe two day goes by and then I'll have some.

Kristy Yee: 4:37

okay. So let's talk about IUD. The, since we're talking about IUD, so it's, so Angie has an IUD. And so do I, I have the, I have a type called marina and that's the one that's the non copper one. It's the five-year one. And when I first had my IUD, I had a lot of troubles having it being inserted. So it took me three different times to go to. Different clinics with different inserters, different doctors to stick it up. My vagina.

Angie Yu: 5:13

Uterus.

Kristy Yee: 5:15

well you, you gotta like pass through the vagina to get to the uterus.

Angie Yu: 5:19

for those who are listening for the men listening, like it goes in the uterus.

Kristy Yee: 5:23

So anyways, that the experience of getting the IUD was no fun after the IUD, I don't typically feel, I don't feel it and I don't feel like my cramps are any worse. So already we have polarizing experiences with the IUD. I actually don't really get my period anymore. So I've saved a lot of money on pads and tampons in the last five years, which has been excellent.

Angie Yu: 5:54

Do you think that has offset the cost of the IUD?

Kristy Yee: 5:58

Probably, but I haven't done the math. your next friend is.

Angie Yu: 6:03

This is from my friend, Mike. Oh, this is a long way. The variety of experiences from person to person is incredible. Whether that's heaviness, thickness, length, regularity, pain, scale of cramps bracket, if any other body effects EEG, acne. It's not just everyone bleeding a little bit for, for a week every month. So that's his fact. And that's a really well put it's pretty woke of him.

Kristy Yee: 6:27

Wow. I, I really liked that he went into the heaviness, the thickness, the length, the regularity, the pain scale. Like that's pretty, pretty comprehensive. I must say.

Angie Yu: 6:36

Yeah.

Kristy Yee: 6:37

Good job, Mike.

Angie Yu: 6:39

a few questions for you. How do you approach sex? When menstruating, have you encountered guys who refuse to go near you or insist on anal slash BJ's?

Kristy Yee: 6:52

How do I approach it? Oh, God, I guess it depends on where I'm at in the relationship with this person. If it's my first time, like, how do I put this? If we haven't had sex while I was already on my period, then I w I would actually feel awkward and uncomfortable. And, but I would really want it,

Angie Yu: 7:20

oh, yes.

Kristy Yee: 7:20

So, and, and like, if it feels better, I think it feels better,

Angie Yu: 7:27

I don't know if that's I, yeah. I don't know why that it would be the case. Cause biologically it doesn't make sense, but I agree.

Kristy Yee: 7:35

I think. Okay. And this is the part where I'm forgetting all of my bio 12. I think it's like the thickness of your walls

Angie Yu: 7:44

Oh,

Kristy Yee: 7:45

that

Angie Yu: 7:46

and then, and your uterus is lower.

Kristy Yee: 7:48

And then also like hormones happening, so, and hormones make you few things.

Angie Yu: 7:56

Oh

Kristy Yee: 7:57

how do I, how do I approach it? I would just, I would tell them and be like, yo, so I'm on my period. And then, and then let, and then it kind of gauge their response to see their comfort level. If it's like a hot and steamy make-out session, you know what I mean? And then it's, it's like leading to sex. I know I'm like flowing, then I, it wouldn't be a no, or yes, it would just be like,

Angie Yu: 8:29

Let's

Kristy Yee: 8:30

pause. Let's pause for make-out session. Let me just tell you, so I also have my period right now gauge their response. And if they're like, okay, let's grab a towel and I'll be like, all right, let's do this.

Angie Yu: 8:44

Let's go Battelle. Good.

Kristy Yee: 8:46

like my favorite line, because not only are they, you know, if they don't care and they just want to get it on, they are also considerate of the bedsheets.

Angie Yu: 8:58

yes.

Kristy Yee: 8:58

And I don't know, that's just like extra hot.

Angie Yu: 9:01

The towel is very important, even if it might seem silly. The towel is very important for the exact reasons that Kristi has just said.

Kristy Yee: 9:09

So poop troops get a towel.

Angie Yu: 9:13

So the second question he had was, do you openly talk about menstruating with other guys in your life

Kristy Yee: 9:19

wait, hold up, hold up, hold up. Mike also says, have you, have you encountered guys who refuse to go near you or insists on anal slash BJ's instead? I don't recall.

Angie Yu: 9:32

They would just be like, oh, okay. And then they seem like a little bit dejected from it, then it's like, okay, whatever, they're not into it, but I don't think anybody would be like, EO gross, get away from me or insist like you have to pleasure me a different way. Like, I don't think I've been in those situations because that would be a pretty shitty situation to be in.

Kristy Yee: 9:51

I mean, okay. So you know how like a memory is fake because you just make it up every time you revisit that memory.

Angie Yu: 9:58

huh.

Kristy Yee: 9:59

I feel like it may have happened to me before. Like where someone had refused because I was on my period and they may even have suggested I do something else to continue to pleasure them. Instead

Angie Yu: 10:16

Did you grab a towel and whip them in the face?

Kristy Yee: 10:21

in hindsight, that's what I should have done,

Angie Yu: 10:23

I'm sorry, you went through that. That's really

Kristy Yee: 10:25

but I, I don't actually remember if that really happened or not. So it, it may or may not have happened and I can think of the person.

Angie Yu: 10:34

Hmm.

Kristy Yee: 10:35

let's go to the next question. Not that I'm avoiding, but there's nothing more to say there.

Angie Yu: 10:41

So Mike's next question is, do you openly talk about menstruating with other guys in your life? If you're hesitant, why is that? And what do you need in order to feel comfortable talking about it and normalizing it in conversation?

Kristy Yee: 10:54

I feel like it's not up to us to normalize it because we do. I think it's more like men should normalize talking about the females in their life. And then going through menstruation and educating themselves about menstruation.

Angie Yu: 11:12

I agree.

Kristy Yee: 11:14

So do I openly talk about it? I think that depends. Like if I'm on my period, I'll let people know I'm on my period,

Angie Yu: 11:22

Yeah.

Kristy Yee: 11:23

I probably won't be like, oh, today was a heavy flow. I got to have to change three times and it got onto my pants. Well, actually, you know, what, if it was that bad, I might just

Angie Yu: 11:34

it depends, like, it depends, like, think of it like a bowel movement. Does it warrant a story? Like, you know, if it was just like a normal thing, you're not going to update your friends, but it was just so bad or so good. You might say to your friend, Hey, today was a 10 out of 10.

Kristy Yee: 11:51

yes, that is correct. Treat menstruation like bowel movements. Oh my God. Is that our takeaway from today? My goodness.

Angie Yu: 12:00

terms of talking about

Kristy Yee: 12:01

do I hesitate? Not, no, not anymore. I think I would have hesitated when I was younger because it was, something you just don't talk about. Right. It's another taboo subject in society. So I think, you know, in high school or even university, I might not talk about it as much. It would be more like, do you have a tampon? I can borrow, you know, like pulling people to the side and whispering to them like, yo, can you check my pants? And you would always just do that with a fellow female friend.

Angie Yu: 12:35

Yes.

Kristy Yee: 12:36

You know, I still might not ask a guy friend to check my pants. I don't know. Now this question's making me

Angie Yu: 12:42

Yeah, I don't think I would. ask a guy friend to check my pants either yeah, because like you said, like, I don't know what their comfort level is. And I agree with Kristy a hundred percent about what you said about how it's up to men to normalize it and not us to normalize it because we're obviously comfortable talking about it with people who are comfortable with it, AKA other women, but we'll never know if a man is comfortable with it or not. And I don't know what a solution that would be like. I don't think all the men should go up to their female friends, be like, Hey, is your flow here today? Hey, what is your next period? I want to like normalize it with you. so I don't know. I don't know. I think it also depends on like society too. Like Tom on commercials used to have like that blue liquid

Kristy Yee: 13:27

Yeah. Yeah, it fucking looks like dish soap.

Angie Yu: 13:30

I'm like whose kind of alien is objecting, blue period fluid out of their vagina. like I think it was like, this is avatar period while I, while, you know, like, I think it was only recently or something like maybe even last year that they started changing it to red. I don't know. I don't watch commercials anymore.

Kristy Yee: 13:52

I didn't even notice that I'm, I'm glad that there's some form of societal shift happening, that they are updating the color of the blood representation in commercials. I, we started this episode saying like, we're not going to be uncomfortable. We're going to be super comfortable because we have our periods. But now I feel a little bit uncomfortable because I'm thinking like, why, what, why do I need to base my comfort level about my period on another person's comfort level? is that just me being considerate of another person's

Angie Yu: 14:33

I would say it's being more considerate because you can't automatically assume that everyone's comfortable talking about bodily fluid. Like ministration itself should not be taboo, but it's still a body fluid. And I'm not just going to go around talking about my saliva, my snot and my farts with,

Kristy Yee: 14:50

Okay. No, I liked that. I liked that. We typically don't talk about each of those bodily fluids, but that's what this podcast is all about. Why are this shit was comfortable?

Angie Yu: 15:03

Well, I don't know if it's uncovered, like for me, and like, I'm not going to talk to a stranger about it because I don't think they would care. And then I, with my friends, again, I'm not going to talk to them about it, unless I think it's a funny story, but I, but I will say that like between my partner and I I'm pretty open with that stuff.

Kristy Yee: 15:22

yeah, me too. But I just, I just feel like it should go beyond our partners. You know what I'm saying?

Angie Yu: 15:28

Yeah. Also I'll talk about poops with my close friends and periods with my close friends.

Kristy Yee: 15:34

You bet. How many of those people are men? Final question from Mike. Just how expensive is it when you take into account pads, tampons cups, period, underwear, et cetera, any suggestions on how to make products more affordable and available for everyone who needs.

Angie Yu: 15:53

Mike has seen a few roadside boxes in Vancouver, stocked with free products for people who might need them. That's actually a really good question. I guess I'm lucky I've never had, I've never had to think about like, oh my God, I can't afford this because I gotta go buy pads and tampons. I think the people who are most vulnerable would see this as like a really limiting issue. Like if they don't have enough pads or tampons that maybe they can't leave the house.

Kristy Yee: 16:22

Like just how expensive? I don't know, because I didn't do the math, but a box of tampons? How much has that like seven bucks for a thing of 30?

Angie Yu: 16:30

I think it's 10 99 for a thing of 36.

Kristy Yee: 16:33

okay? And a fucking gruesome math, so it's okay. Love this shit. There's like PST and just to add some cracks was going to be like 1231. Okay. So, divided by 36. So it's about like 34 cents per tampon. Okay. So now how many tampons would you go through per month? Would you say?

Angie Yu: 17:00

before I had my IUD, I think this should be based on

Kristy Yee: 17:03

Yeah. Based on pre IUD. Yes. Yes.

Angie Yu: 17:05

Ooh. On my heaviest days, I would probably go through like five or six and then lighter days I would still go through like three or four, but it'd be the light version. Cause you don't want to wear, the wrong tampon size for your flow. Cause you can get toxic shock syndrome.

Kristy Yee: 17:21

So just get, just give me a number

Angie Yu: 17:24

Okay. Let's just

Kristy Yee: 17:25

How many?

Angie Yu: 17:26

20 a month

Kristy Yee: 17:27

20 per period. Okay. You and I have very different period routines. So for me, I definitely. Struggle every time I'm in the tampon and period, period, tampons and pads aisle in the grocery, in the grocery store or in the pharmacy, because they are really fucking expensive. And I will typically choose the cheapest version. And I, I have in the past, like ration my use of pads. So I will have one pad a day and then I will line it with toilet paper. So then I just change out the toilet paper. And then the pad is just like as extra protection, but really it's toilet paper. That's doing all of the absorption tampons. I only use one a day. And I don't switch between light or non light. And this is probably like not, I don't take this as advice. I'm just saying what I had done. tampons are more expensive than pads. So I would only use tampons if it was a convenient thing to do, like if I was playing a sport that day, and would be better to use the tampon for example.

Angie Yu: 18:37

so while you were talking, I was listening Dory. I also Googled like how much do Canadian women use spend on tampon actually, according to estimates by the Huffington post, the average woman uses about five liners and 20 tampons per cycle. So I was

Kristy Yee: 18:54

Holy shit.

Angie Yu: 18:56

on par.

Kristy Yee: 18:57

I am definitely. Below average.

Angie Yu: 19:00

Yeah.

Kristy Yee: 19:01

I've, I've never purchased liners. The only time I've ever used liners are donations from friends. So I am the fucking recipient of donations. So people will give me their, leftover tampons or pads or whatever, because like perhaps they got an IUD and then they stopped flowing and they have extra stock. So they'll, they'll give it to me because I am, I am poor.

Angie Yu: 19:25

You're frugal.

Kristy Yee: 19:26

I am frugal because I am frugal and it's, you know, it's gonna need to be used anyways. Right. Okay. So, next person

Angie Yu: 19:32

Oh, wait. No, don't forget about all the underwear you throw away when you leak.

Kristy Yee: 19:37

Oh, I don't throw them away.

Angie Yu: 19:38

I've also thrown away jeans because I just, no matter how many times I wash it, it could not come out.

Kristy Yee: 19:43

Ah,

Angie Yu: 19:43

Yeah. So jeans, underwear, and then I ended up buying some of those, some of those leak-proof underwear and they're expensive. They're like almost$50 a pair, but then

Kristy Yee: 19:53

Holy fuck.

Angie Yu: 19:55

But then they'll save my$100 jeans.

Kristy Yee: 19:57

Yeah, we live

Angie Yu: 19:58

Okay.

Kristy Yee: 20:01

So the next person we have is Tom and Tom says pads have stickies wings and different thicknesses. It happens about once a month. It's painful and messy and limited activities is the discharge of lining of an unfertilized egg, not incorrect, Tom, So his question is my biggest confusion are about ovulation timing that I was really surprised. I'm like, okay.

Angie Yu: 20:28

Yeah, that's it? Yeah. I mean, that's part of the cycle, I don't think about it. And, I don't even know what that well, myself, I just know that observation comes first. And then after a while, like what he said that I was like, well, my time is up here by, and then period comes.

Kristy Yee: 20:48

I was going to attempt to explain it, but then I don't want to use the incorrect terminologies, but yes, obviously comes first. Now the fact that Angie and I don't think about the ovulation cycle does not indicate how unimportant it is because for people who are trying to get pregnant, that is fucking gold. Okay. To no more listen to that episode that we had with Georgie ma what episode is that?

Angie Yu: 21:11

I was a 14.

Kristy Yee: 21:13

14, listen to episode 14, we'll link in the show notes. And that one is amazing because Georgia talks all about how she times her oblation and there was what was it like sticks to she had,

Angie Yu: 21:28

Yes. Those things where you pee on it to see if you're ovulating, I like how you remember stuff like that, but then I remember exactly which episode is.

Kristy Yee: 21:36

see, we compliment each other.

Angie Yu: 21:37

exactly. Okay. Next question. So my friend said that one of his wife's friends has a health condition where, where they have periods for like months at a time. Sounds scary. That does sound scary. I think right now it sounds scary to me because I don't know what it is.

Kristy Yee: 21:55

correct. I once had my period for, I think, two and a half months nonstop.

Angie Yu: 22:01

Whoa.

Kristy Yee: 22:03

Yeah,

Angie Yu: 22:05

And what, what happened? Like did you go to the doctor?

Kristy Yee: 22:07

It was an issue with my IUD. It was basically coming out of my body. So when you first get an IUD where we're talking about, this is a IUD episode, everyone, typically when you first get your IUD in the first six months, they like to monitor it to make sure that it's still in place and it's not moving around. And once it's been in there for six months, then you're, you're pretty good to go. So after you get your IUD, you get a checkup in six months and they're like, yep, you're good to go. And then you'd kind of just, it's like set it and forget it. My IUD, the, or the first IUD that I had after about a year and a half, it started to move around and then my body wanted to get rid of it. And so it was treating it like trying to shed a lining. So it just kept having the period nonstop because it was literally, my body was trying to get rid of this foreign.

Angie Yu: 23:03

oh, I

Kristy Yee: 23:04

So I just kept having my period for like two and a half straight months until I finally went to the gyno. I'm like, yo, so it's been like sometime, and then they just take it out. this is super rare. So anybody who's listening and they're freaking out about getting an IUD, this is super, super rare. It's one of those like 0.3% chances. And I was the 0.3. So I already, I already took the 0.3, so you're good to go.

Angie Yu: 23:32

I said, what the heck, like earlier, when we first started talking about IUD, you made your sound like it was such a smooth process and now you're like, bam, just kidding. I had, I bled for two and a half months cause

Kristy Yee: 23:42

I also said, I also said I needed three people to like insert it in.

Angie Yu: 23:46

Oh, right, right, right, right. You need a three inserters.

Kristy Yee: 23:49

Yeah, well, not at the same time.

Angie Yu: 23:58

I mean it's okay.

Kristy Yee: 24:02

I mean, I think like the, that condition does sound pretty extreme and pretty scary to have. So this is not a medical podcast, so we're not going to go into that, but that just sounds no funds at all. And I hope that all is well. My friend and something that he knows about menstruation is you can take continuous contraceptives to skip your period and you can do this longterm spoiler alert he's in healthcare. correct. Yes. Correct? they may change your period cycles or. My actually stabilize it, which is what pills had done for me.

Angie Yu: 24:46

One of my friends he asked, so he said there is blood and women have different flows. That was his statement. Yes. A very, very straightforward. And his question is, is it common for most women to still have sex while on their period?

Kristy Yee: 25:01

Well, I don't know if it's common and I can't speak for most women, but I do it.

Angie Yu: 25:07

yeah.

Kristy Yee: 25:09

And do you do it and towels always, always offer to bring a

Angie Yu: 25:19

I only do it when it's lighter though. Not when it's heavy,

Kristy Yee: 25:22

Um, is, is it because of the discomfort or is it because of, okay. Is it because of the physical discomfort caused by cramping or is it caused by the mental discomfort of knowing you are heavy flowing?

Angie Yu: 25:35

the mental discomfort.

Kristy Yee: 25:39

Y,

Angie Yu: 25:41

I also just don't like the feeling, if it's really heavy, it's like two lubricated was that TMI.

Kristy Yee: 25:50

I don't think there's such thing as TMI on this podcast.

Angie Yu: 25:54

It's just like, I don't know. It's just like, if there's too much, it's just, I don't, it doesn't feel great.

Kristy Yee: 25:59

like, it's too slippery, like a fucking slip and slide. Just like too much slurp slurp.

Angie Yu: 26:04

Yeah. Not that I have actually done it, but I feel like it would just be too. Yeah. Slip aside,

Kristy Yee: 26:10

Hm. Maybe that's why I prefer it because I naturally am on the drier side so that when I am on my period, it's like, I need that extra lubricant, you know? The next person G L says for their statement, periods may affect women's mood and temperament negatively. What do you think about that?

Angie Yu: 26:34

Yes for me.

Kristy Yee: 26:36

Yeah, I say it's a pretty blanketed statement. I mean

Angie Yu: 26:38

it is pretty blanketed.

Kristy Yee: 26:40

And then their question is how do you cope with menstruation slash periods?

Angie Yu: 26:46

oh, so I used to have this fuzzy water bottle I would fill it up with hot water and I don't know, it just makes it like a little bit nicer rather than sitting there with like a rubber thing on my, on my lower abdomen. I had to use it all the time on my lower abdomen and all my lower back.

Kristy Yee: 27:03

I definitely agree with having hot things. I also say hot beverages are helpful. And to that I purposely avoid cold beverages. That's definitely wisdom passed on from my mother that surprisingly works for me. And so I do find that when I avoid cold beverages, my cramps are way better and having hot beverages are actually soothing and they are.

Angie Yu: 27:36

Yeah. And it's not something on the less physical side is I always give my self the day off. When I have a really backgrounds, they usually happens like the first day of my period. and I'm just like in the worst mood. And I don't think that's why I think at that point, it's not even a hormonal cause the hormonal mood thing usually comes like the week before for me on that day where like I have bad cramps and I just feel like, shit, I feel bloated. I just give myself a day off. Of course I know that's not a luxury that everybody can have. And sometimes I can't take that day off, but if I can, I will and to add to Mike's earlier question, one thing to add to that list of causes like painkillers,

Kristy Yee: 28:18

Yes.

Angie Yu: 28:19

And just, you know, taking a day off, some women might lose their wages because they needed a day off or time off to rest. So actually, you know, the cost of periods is way more than just tampons. Yeah.

Kristy Yee: 28:33

correct? Yes.

Angie Yu: 28:34

this next question is from Steve. you guys might remember Steve from episode 28

Kristy Yee: 28:39

where we talk about resiliency as Steve shared his stories, when he moved over to Vietnam and then had a major low and he shared that story with us. So check. We will link it in the show notes. So let's, let's hear what Steve has to say. So I do want to say it doesn't happen always in high school, because my happened in elementary school. When did you first get your, ah,

Angie Yu: 30:21

Yeah. I got mine when I was 11,

Kristy Yee: 30:23

I don't know what grade that is. I go by grades.

Angie Yu: 30:24

grade I remember. The first time I got, it was actually when I went to camp with elementary school, we went onto this like partially subsidized trip, which was pretty cool. We went camping. We were asked if we wanted to go on the speedboat and I put my hand up and then I just remember it being really cold on the water, but then it felt really warm where my crush was. And I'm like, this is weird. Cause I was really fucking cold and wet, but I felt like warm liquid. And I'm like that can't be my pee. I know I'm not peeing. and then of course, like after we got back to the campus, I went to the bathroom and I was like, oh, and I don't remember what I did, but I must have asked the teacher about it

Kristy Yee: 31:06

you know, that's something we don't talk about enough of because yeah. People know it's blood. Okay. But blood comes from the body and it is warm. And so when it just leaks out of your body and into your underwear, it doesn't just like, you know, trickle down your thighs. It stays in there. It's like kind of trapped in there.

Angie Yu: 31:28

so you know what, Steve don't feel bad that you thought it was gross at first, because I also thought it was gross at first,

Kristy Yee: 31:33

I don't remember the sensation of my first time, but I do remember that it was on February 14th. So I was in grade seven and I don't remember how I discovered it, but for sure, I went to a teacher and freaked out and they called my mom and my mom came to school and this is a big deal because I live with my dad. My dad has full custody of me. My teacher at the time was also really helpful. And they like slipped me a pad in the washroom and taught me how to use it. But yeah, I must say kudos to all the elementary school and high school teachers who have been there for us during this time.

Angie Yu: 32:17

Yeah,

Kristy Yee: 32:18

We don't appreciate them enough for that.

Angie Yu: 32:20

Yeah.

Kristy Yee: 32:21

Okay. So then our next friend who also shared with us, his name was also Steve. So Steve, number two there are fact to share is there's this awful thing called dysmenorrhea? I think it's caused by overzealous. I think it's caused by overzealous uterine muscles, trying to mold exquisite pain, apparently hot compress and orgasms help with pain. Very good, Steve,

Angie Yu: 32:54

my God. Like that's what I have. I have dysmenorrhea

Kristy Yee: 32:58

and you also have hot compresses and orgasms to help with your pain. It is a proven treatment method. Everyone

Angie Yu: 33:09

yes, they go, well, I'm very impressed that he knows what dysmenorrhea is. Cause a lot of women don't know what dysmenorrhea is. So I know normally say, oh, I have dysmenorrhea. And cause it sounds like diarrhea. Not that there's anything wrong with diarrhea, but you know, just

Kristy Yee: 33:23

No. I know, but like, so then what do people, people will just think that you said diarrhea.

Angie Yu: 33:29

Well, they'll just be like, oh, what's dysmenorrhea. And then I have to go into explaining it. So I usually just say, oh, I have really bad cramps. And then there's no need to explain. Yeah, well, yeah. Dysmenorrhea is just like, it's exactly what Steve said. And, yeah, it's painful. I remember back in high school, there was one time where I nearly passed out.

Kristy Yee: 33:44

oh my God.

Angie Yu: 33:45

I was, basically like on the table, like with my head buried in my arms, this was during like an English class and I looked up and my teacher was like, oh my God is everything okay. And I was like, like, how the hell does he know? Right. Cause this was during like, 20 minute reading hour reading, 20 minutes of reading. Do you remember the.

Kristy Yee: 34:12

I just realized what was wrong with that sentence.

Angie Yu: 34:16

Do you not remember what we had silent reading. We had mandatory, reading

Kristy Yee: 34:20

I mean, I forgot all about it until you just mentioned it, but yes, I

Angie Yu: 34:24

It really unlocked a memory. during silent reading, which is 20 minutes before lunchtime, I was just collapsed on the table and people do that all the time. Like people would just would just nap instead of reading. So when I looked up and he said that I was really surprised because like, how would he know I was in so much pain? Apparently he said, my face was white as a ghost. And then I went to the nurse's office and I was there for like the next three hours, basically.

Kristy Yee: 34:45

Holy shit.

Angie Yu: 34:46

Yeah, there was lots. I actually spent a lot of time in the nurses office in high school when I was on my period, because I couldn't even sit up straight in class.

Kristy Yee: 34:57

That's really debilitating. And like, I don't think so. Not everybody has this, but I think when people do have it, it's, it's really tough because a lot of people don't understand and they don't really have the full empathy of like, oh, this is not just a period. This is actually a health condition. Like something extra is going on on top of my period. And it really affects your ability to participate. Do work and study and et cetera, et cetera. So

Angie Yu: 35:31

Yeah. And that could be the reason why my IUD is still giving me a lot of, a lot of pain. but it has definitely reduced the frequency and the length of my, of my cramps, because that's what the hormones.

Kristy Yee: 35:45

so Steve's question is do people who've been straight know when hormones are messing up their mood. So do you know, and when your hormones are like going haywire,

Angie Yu: 35:57

I do now, because now I'm on medication for bipolar. So my moods are more stabilized anyway, I didn't use to. And I used to be like, oh, that's a myth because my mood changes all the time, but now I actually notice it. so all of a sudden I'll be a bit more moody than usual. And by moody, I don't just mean like angry by moody. As in like my moods change very rapidly, like go from happy to sad really quickly, which is kind of like what bipolar is anyway. And I'll be like, why am I feeling like this? Oh wait, hold on. I'm getting my period next week.

Kristy Yee: 36:31

would you ever get confused between like you're bipolar acting up versus, oh, my period's coming.

Angie Yu: 36:38

Oh, yeah. All the time. I still don't know if that's the case or not. I just have to be like, well, I'm moody and what can I do? Yeah.

Kristy Yee: 36:45

complicated, especially because like you're still new to having medication to help stabilize. I'm glad that that in itself, because of the stabilization, it's making things a little bit more noticeable for you, but it is it's tough. Right? And sometimes not sometimes I think all the time, you just have to really pay attention to yourself and just learn what it is about your body. So for me, I feel like I did not fully understand, especially at the beginning. I think now that we're in our thirties, we have experienced, we have experienced the sensation of having a period a little bit more now. So we are a little bit more in tuned with our body. it's not always accurate. I can sometimes tell when it's coming or not. And for me, because my peers are irregular and they've always been irregular even before the IUD and all of that. I've always had irregular periods. So I can never tell if I am being moody because my periods coming. Cause I can't just go and check the calendar and be like, oh yeah, my peer should come next week. So yeah, this explains it because I don't have a fucking regular calendar nowadays. I feel like I can sometimes tell both physically and emotionally, but some days I'm just wrong. Like I'm like, oh, I think I can feel, I feel a little bit more irritable in the last few days or I feel a little bit more moody in the last few days. I think maybe my peers coming up. So I'll typically have this conversation with my partner. Right. I'll be like, yeah, I'm feeling not so great. I think my periods coming and. I

Angie Yu: 38:28

yeah. And like, after going through therapy and learning how to manage my emotions and just like learning all about managing bipolar for me at the end of the day, like even knowing why I'm moving, doesn't actually help that much. It helps definitely. But it doesn't help as like, it's not like it'll go away just because, you know, like, I, I can't just act out because I'm getting my period. I tried to, you know, not make it more difficult to other people. So I just tried to manage my mood.

Kristy Yee: 38:58

having your period is not an excuse to be an ass.

Angie Yu: 39:01

Yeah, exactly.

Kristy Yee: 39:02

And I also do want to say, I mean, again, I can't speak for everybody, but I feel like the stereotype of being very moody and, you know, hormones going everywhere while yes, that is true. And so many things are happening to our body. It's pretty subtle. Sometimes it's not like all of a sudden you're just some nice dandy person. And then, then you become a monster. The next second, at least I haven't experienced such a drastic shift in mood and behavior. It's pretty subtle. So you may or may not notice. And because first person, you know, you're like the last person to notice anything about yourself. Right. Everybody else kind of notice things before you ever notice things. So you, you may feel like, oh, last few days, I'm like, yeah, a little bit more irritable, a little bit more sleepy. Maybe I'm feeling I feel when my. I was going to say stomach, but that's not correct. I can sometimes physically feel it, but again, sometimes I'm wrong and my period doesn't come. So basically what I'm saying is the stereotype of PMs saying, and being, I don't know, angry or craving foods while that does happen. It is more subtle than society tells it to be.

Angie Yu: 40:25

yes. Well said

Kristy Yee: 40:27

Was it though? Was it So the next person that we have is an anonymous person and their statement is cramps hurt like a bitch.

Angie Yu: 40:43

Not always.

Kristy Yee: 40:44

And that's it. Yeah, not always, but. There are no pancakes. Like it's, it's not like it's a fun time. Like I would much rather not have a cramp, but it doesn't it's, it's not always like keel over fetal position. Can't breathe hot compression now gonna die type of scenario.

Angie Yu: 41:16

yes,

Kristy Yee: 41:19

Your enthusiasm in this episode is riveting,

Angie Yu: 41:22

no, no. You know why? Because some of the questions are getting repetitive, like, oh, pain. It's a, it seems like a lot of the questions or statements are about the pain of menstruation. So this is from my friend, Andrew, and this is what he says. I heard menstruation is basically like this. Literally every woman on the planet has a body that prepares them to have a baby every single month. And that body literally prepares the perfect environment to literally destroy the entire environment and rebuild that shit all over again the next month.

Kristy Yee: 41:54

I'm glad this person has an appreciation of what the female body can do.

Angie Yu: 41:59

Yeah, it's pretty dope-ass

Kristy Yee: 42:02

What's the.

Angie Yu: 42:04

I'd be curious about certain rituals based on when and where women are at with their menstruation cycle. For instance, have girls time desk so that they are more creative or more energetic or more tired on certain days of their cycle. And therefore do certain activities during that time. For instance, if day 12, the cycle, they usually notice they're tired, then they save their favorite Netflix show for that

Kristy Yee: 42:27

oh my goodness. Okay. Okay. People cannot see my facial expressions as you're listening to this episode right now, but every single point that Angie had just read, I made a different face and each face was less and less impressive because holy shit, does this person think that we have that much control and like, I, okay. I'm going to answer for me. No.

Angie Yu: 42:58

the answer for me. Yes. I don't think he means, I think his question, he means a more, like, do you plan around your cycle,

Kristy Yee: 43:07

Well, I cannot because my cycles unpredictable,

Angie Yu: 43:10

right? Oh yeah. Right, right. That's true.

Kristy Yee: 43:12

I do plan vacations. Like I try to plan vacations pre IUD days. I try to find some, like, try to have a cycle, when I was on birth control pills, that would be way more predictable because I can physically see it. Right. So having birth control pills really stabilized, and made my period come a lot more regularly. Okay. So, my friend Sam, his question is, do girls ever blame their period for their mood or is it just an offensive to bring up no matter what gender you are, period. So I'm not sure what that latter part means, but earlier I had said having your period is not an excuse to be an asshole. So I do feel like maybe some folks would use their period as some sort of an excuse to not be kind. And I feel like that just paints women in general, with a negative brush

Angie Yu: 44:12

I don't know if it's offensive, I guess the offensive part. Isn't the fact that you're relating it to your period because yes. You know what it does affect mood. If I'm bloated and I have sore back and yeah, it's gonna affect my mood, but I think it's offensive if like, your girlfriend, your friend, your coworker actually has something legitimate to be upset about and your responses, are you on your period then? That is very offensive because you one you're gaslighting them. You're trying to make them into thinking that they're crazy because they have absolutely nothing to be upset about. And then you blame it on their. Body. So I think in that case, it is incredibly offensive. but yeah, again, I think it just like bringing it up is depends on the situation.

Kristy Yee: 44:57

yup. Agree. Okay. So then, we're almost close to the end next. We have David and David's. Periods are a week long and they require chocolate she's POS and normally something deep fry to appease the demon that is ravaging, the poor woman.

Angie Yu: 45:16

Oh my, my,

Kristy Yee: 45:20

How is this accurate?

Angie Yu: 45:22

I don't know whether I should laugh or. Like what you said earlier, like it kind of is just the stereotype.

Kristy Yee: 45:29

What I actually really like about this one is that it's not, it's not stereotyping the woman who is going through it's stereotyping the situation, which. Oh, it makes me feel a lot better about, because what makes me feel not good about the whole stereotyping situation is when you're just pointing fingers. And then you're, you're saying, you know, like you're gaslighting, like, oh, oh, she's just on her period. Oh, it's just a PMs thing. You know what I mean? Like kind of blaming the person and saying, like seeing the person sucks. Whereas in this situation, David is like, oh, like this poor woman, this thing is happening to them.

Angie Yu: 46:06

That's true. Poor. Poor us. Please buy me. Lots of chocolate and cheese puffs. I so his question is why does everything I do bother you? Poor, poor

Kristy Yee: 46:18

a sweet guy.

Angie Yu: 46:20

Is it because of the pain? What can I do to dull said pain, cranberry pills?

Kristy Yee: 46:26

I'm just going to like, totally make assumptions here, but I feel like poor David, it sounds like you have been taking advantage of, I don't know, does everything Nick does bother you at the time of your month?

Angie Yu: 46:40

No, because everything he does bothers me all the time.

Kristy Yee: 46:43

Oh my God.

Angie Yu: 46:44

I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I love him very much. no, I don't think so. No. No, I don't think so. I don't think it's specifically during my period.

Kristy Yee: 46:52

We mentioned moods earlier, irritability, et cetera, but I, I wouldn't specifically target it at a person. I'd be irritable. Everything. Like if my fucking Chromecast is taking 30 seconds longer to connect. Yeah. I'm going to fucking flip shit.

Angie Yu: 47:08

that's true. We're not irritable at you. We're irritable next to you.

Kristy Yee: 47:13

it's just like, exactly. We're just irritable in general and this is only if it gets to that point even. Right. So I'm going to say no, David. It is, it's not you I know right before David okay. So our last one for today comes from one of our favorite people. Irving Irving hat, Irving joined us on our podcast back in episode 22, where we talked about social justice and how to talk about it with your parents. So check that out again, linking the descriptions. So Irving statement is a really long one. So Irving says, I know I learned a lot about the cycle of hormones and such in bio 12, but I don't remember anything. What I do know is that periods suck. And Ken slash do heard a lot that menstrual products are highly sought after donation items. Ooh, correct. That menstrual products aren't covered by healthcare. Correct. Also companies should offer people. Who've been straight paid time off. And before anyone argues with this, if execs can give themselves pay raises and bonuses during a fucking pandemic, they can take care of their workers if they actually cared about anything else. But exploitations, this is all to say. A lot of taboo and stigma created around periods and administration is a thing invented by the patriarchy to solidify its own powers.

Angie Yu: 48:41

Yes.

Kristy Yee: 48:42

insert some like applauses pauses here, please. Insert applause. Yes. The cost of menstrual products. We had mentioned that throughout this episode, the cost of birth controls and contraceptions and UDS, the cost of our clothing that gets ruined the cost of medication to manage our pain, the costs due to time loss at work and productivity. And then the cost of just fucking joy. Because if you have your period on your vacation and you can go fucking swimming or scuba diving with all your friends, okay. That is just no funds. Okay. Is high cost high stake shit here. Okay. And people need to understand this

Angie Yu: 49:25

Exactly. It's not just all tampons and pads.

Kristy Yee: 49:31

Irving's question is how can people who don't menstruate better support the people that do.

Angie Yu: 49:36

I would say pay attention, like pay attention. Obviously Irving pays attention. Obviously Mike pays attention. Obviously all these other people who gave us really good insight into their experiences with, the women in their lives have been listening and paying attention. Not attention as like you know what I mean? Ah, fuck. What is that word? Like? Listen, if women have something to say about period, like, listen, it's not, it's not just something that affects women. So that means you don't have to listen to it.

Kristy Yee: 50:05

I have two things. The first thing I wanted to say is just because it happens every month, doesn't mean that the severity is diluted. So I feel like when we are exposed to things, a lot of times then it's not often talked about, or they feel like the impact is not very strong because it's not newsworthy. Right. It's just like, well, this is, this is just shit that happens every month. But yeah, it's shit that happens every month, but every time it's different, One of our previous, contributors said, it's basically our bodies rebuilding our linings all over again. Like it's really fucking amazing how our bodies can do that. And just because we have experience of going through it every month, doesn't mean that it gets easier every month it doesn't make it any less unworthy to talk about just because it's happening every month.

Angie Yu: 51:05

ah, that's a very good point.

Kristy Yee: 51:07

And the second thing that I wanted to say is to advocate alongside with us, don't just make this, the job of the women to advocate for ourselves. Like, as you said, seek to understand and seek to learn the impacts, but also. You know, I mentioned, we talked about this earlier. it's not just up to us. It's also like we need everybody involved when it comes to advocating things for, you know, reducing the tax or, or making sure that we are able to take sick leave or changing policies around what gets covered in healthcare. Like these are things that are not just up to women to advocate for. We also need everybody else to advocate alongside with us and make us tea and bring us dark chocolates. That'd be a great way to.

Angie Yu: 52:00

And I think that wraps up this episode

Kristy Yee: 52:02

Thank you again to all of our friends who helped us out on this episode. We hope that some of y'all poop troops will feel a little bit heard because we don't, we don't talk about periods enough. And for folks who didn't know as much, maybe you had learned something today.

Angie Yu: 52:51

And I think that wraps up this episode, thanks for listening and see you next time.

Kristy Yee: 52:58

wow.

Angie Yu: 53:00

I'm also tired too.