Highly Sensitive People

Ever heard of Sensory Processing Sensitivity?
It's a neurological trait that means that one in 6 people have super duper processing abilities of all of their experiences. Sounds like a superpower doesn't it?
Some with it don't always think so though.

Take the test
https://hsperson.com/test/highly-sensitive-test/

Transcript

Copy Transcript Copied

Richard 0:02

And hello to you, and welcome to the Richard Nicholls Podcast, the personal development podcast series that's here to help inspire, educate, and motivate you to be The best you can be! I'm psychotherapist Richard Nichols, and this episode is all about highly sensitive people. And if you're ready, we'll start the show! Hey, hey! It's officially spring! Where, here in the UK, you don't know whether to put your shorts on or fetch an umbrella. Especially this week, we've got drizzle all weekend, and then next week, it's going to be so bright and sunny that you can't see without sunglasses, even in the shade. It's weird around here. I do wonder how we coped thousands of years ago, before we had sunglasses. Back in very ancient times, did we all just sit in the shade eating ants, waiting for it to get dusk? Maybe, our eyes weren't quite so sensitive to light in those days. We'd have to ask a primate anatomist, I guess. But maybe we're more sensitive nowadays to stimulation than we used to be. It's possible. Some of us do have a genetic difference that means our brain processes stimulation ever so slightly differently to most people. But it's always going to be in the minority. Because when it comes to sensitivity it's only an advantage in natural selection when it's rare. If everyone was sensitive, then it would probably be a disadvantage. We call it Sensory Processing Sensitivity. And maybe that difference wouldn't have been that good for natural selection a hundred thousand years ago, and it didn't become more common. It's just an assumption, but I'd have thought that those highly sensitive people would have taken fewer risks. And risks are needed if we're going to travel across unknown lands or try out different types of fruit to see if they're poisonous or not. And the safety that comes from being more sensitive to your environment and more aware of risks. just wasn't quite enough to become dominant. Either way, the highly sensitive gene isn't that common even now. But still, around one in six people do have a particular genetic marker that means they process the world more intensely than other people do. Emotions are felt deeper. Background noises are more intrusive. Flavours taste stronger. Smells are more noticeable. Coffee makes you twitchy. It's like a superpower. Everything's turned up. So for these one in six, the world might seem quite overwhelming, sometimes. And this isn't introversion. Up until relatively recently, really, within the last sort of 20 years, as far as us lay people were concerned, it was just assumed that the differences in these people were put down to being introverted, which is about whether being stimulated drains your energy or feeds it. Introverts will be drained by stimulation, and so will a highly sensitive person. So they were all clumped together. But actually, HSPs, if we're going to use that acronym for highly sensitive people, they can be extroverted too. It's not a 50 50 split. Like in non HSPs, but studies seem to show that around 30 percent of HSPs are actually extroverts. And just like non HSPs, all extroverts can get fed by stimulation. It wakes them up, and 30 percent of HSPs will too. But they just don't need as much stimulation because they're so sensitive to it. So, if you've never heard of the phrase, a highly sensitive person, or sensory processing sensitivity, let me give you some background. Back in the 70s, a German doctor called Wolfgang Klages noted that some patients seem to have a lower threshold for stimulation in the thalamus, a small but super important part of the brain that acts a bit like a Wi Fi router, sending out signals to the rest of the brain. For most of us, we have a way of filtering out the irrelevant. And the thalamus doesn't even receive the signal. So we don't see the blind spot in the eye, which is a big black hole for our optic nerve. We don't hear the ticking of the clock, or the guy two streets away mowing his lawn. Because it doesn't need to get processed by the thalamus. But what Klages proposed is that certain people are hardwired to get more signals into the thalamus and then out into the cerebral cortex and into our awareness. And scientists just nodded along and agreed amongst themselves, but it never really made its way into the real world, not for decades. So every one of these one in six people carried on thinking that there was something wrong with them. And the other five in six told them so. If they were to complain that their T shirt label was scratching them, or somebody's perfume was too strong. You know you're an HSP if somebody saying You're too sensitive, seems to be every friend's catchphrase. Because that's a bit ridiculous. That's like saying, Your eyes are too blue. But the thing is, being sensitive to stimulation isn't seen by most people as a superpower. It's seen as a flaw. A weakness. That means you can't handle the real world. And I think it's because people don't realise that this phenomenon exists. Despite the fact that one in six people do have sensory processing sensitivity. And that's quite a lot of folk. That's the same statistic for people experiencing mental health problems. And there will be a crossover there as well, of course. Being an HSP won't cause depression, but the things that do cause depression, like grief and socioeconomic stuff and judgment from peers that lowers self esteem. An HSP will feel those effects more deeply and it could tip the scales in depression's favour. It's annoying because an HSP will process stimuli deeper and slower than non HSPs. Especially when they're young. So a busy classroom or something like that might quieten them down as they watch rather than react to their environment. And if we're not careful we've labelled that kid as shy. Because a well meaning teacher has asked them, What's wrong? And nothing was wrong. They just needed a bit more time to process everything because they're noticing so much. There's so much in their awareness than with the other kids. And if you ask somebody at any age, really, but especially when they're young, if you ask enough times, What's wrong? Then they learn that whatever they're doing is wrong. However they are feeling is wrong, which is going to influence their self esteem, which could lead to mental health issues further down the line. So it's important to be aware if you do have sensory processing sensitivity, that you might need more coping strategies than other people do. The academics, they were aware of this in the late 70s, but it didn't really reach popular culture until the mid to late 90s, when a psychologist called Elaine Aron published her research and turned it into a wonderful book called The Highly Sensitive Person. Subtitle, How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You. In 1996 this was. And within a couple of years, those one in six people that thought of themselves as broken in some way, They suddenly find out that they're not alone and they're not broken. They're just easily overstimulated because they've got greater awareness of what's going on around them and have a deeper way of processing the information. And this isn't just in humans either. We see the same thing in dogs, in fish, even in fruit flies, and especially in rhesus monkeys. We share a lot of genetic similarities with rhesus macaques, especially when it comes to the neurology in the brain of processing information.. When it comes to learning anything we have two ways, you see. We've got responsive ways and we've got non responsive ways. Responsive ways are more reflective and sensitive to their environment. If you're going to do something, you do it once and you do it right. So you'll reflect on it first. The non responsive ways are more impulsive. It's a trait that says Just go for it. If you get it wrong, just try again. And because this strategy is in so many species, at least a hundred in the research paper that I saw from, uh, let's have a look, Max Wolf. And it's called, just checking the title, Evolutionary Emergence of Responsive and Unresponsive Personalities. This was in 2008. So we know that this is not a conscious choice. It's an instinct. It's part of who we are genetically. And it's not going to change just because somebody says, Don't be so sensitive, any more than saying, don't be so tall, is going to make somebody shrink. So, two questions often pop up when people ask about sensory processing sensitivity and being an HSP, they say. How do I know if I'm an HSP, and what can I do about it if I am? But I think a better question there would be, What can I do about it if I'm not? Because if you do have a highly sensitive emotional response to stuff, but you don't have sensory processing sensitivity, then, and only then, is it okay to look at ways of becoming less sensitive? Because that might be because of personality development, over time. That becomes unconscious, rather than something more instinctively unconscious, if that makes sense. Like, natural instinct versus habit, nature versus nurture. So sure, learn to change your habits, but don't fight with your natural instincts. If you are an HSP, it needs to be understood and accepted. So there's the answer to the second question of what can I do about it if I am? Because the answer there is nothing. It's your superpower. Embrace it. But what if you're just anxious? What if you've had a difficult life, a chaotic childhood, and it's due to that that you're easily overwhelmed, because that isn't rooted in your DNA. And with time, therapy, and some practicing of mental relaxation exercises, that's likely to change. But if you are an HSP, it's not really going to change. The only thing that can change is your reaction to your sensitivity. The sensitivity is still going to be there. So how do you know if you actually do have sensory processing sensitivities? Well, we tend to find that there are four characteristics. Number one. Depth of processing. Like the kid that stands at the back of the classroom watching everything and everyone before deciding what to do. That's 100 percent my wife. Supermarkets are absolute hell to my wife. There's too much stimulation, too much choice. Too many people. And she can't go in unless she knows in advance exactly what we're going in for. And the shopping list is written in the order of the route around the shop that we're going to take. And I'm so laid back on the opposite, I might not even know what I want until I go in there and see what's going on. And so, um, so for my wife, a menu in a restaurant, again, it's overwhelming for her. Too much choice! She's already stimulated anyway because we're out. There are people and background music and smells and now she's got an enormous menu and if she's honest, she probably knew what she wanted before she even walked in there because it's easier that way. Rather than trying to process everything on the menu. I'm not an HSP, so I find it easy to ignore the things I'm not interested in. She doesn't. Her brain is acutely aware of all the things she's not interested in, as well as the things that she is, which means her world is deeper. It's richer than mine. Because of that, she's able to have more appreciation for art, for music, for nature. She'll be awed easier. Her life can be literally more awesome than mine. Which sounds great, doesn't it? But our brain doesn't just selectively choose what to be sensitive to. It's everything. Good and bad. So, yeah. Nice things are nicer, but bad things are badder. Sad things are sadder. She can't watch horror films. She finds it too hard to hear about bullying or injustice and cruelty. Even fictional ones. Her empathy gets turned up. She feels it alongside the characters. So this is all of the four characteristics, really. So like I say, the first is depth of processing. The world is processed more, or rather more of the world is being processed. So things might take a little longer to get your head around. This depth is advantageous in learning, though, so it gives HSPs good intuition. They seem to know more things unconsciously, because their brain has previously picked up on the answer, either through their own experiences or from unconsciously picking up other people's experiences that non HSPs, they were able to ignore because it wasn't relevant. Second characteristic is being overstimulated. Tiring easier. Like I said, this is separate to introversion. You can still be a sensitive extrovert and you'll be energised by the outside world, but you'll just tire quicker. You need a bit more down time than a non HSP extrovert would. When your brain is noticing everything, it's got to work a bit harder. That's what's going on there. And this isn't a conscious Jason Bourne style skill. It's going on in the background, picking up on all the social cues from other people and way more about the external world than everyone else. And because of that, the third trait is more noticeable. And that's about having a greater emphasis on emotions. Like I say, the good things feel awesome and the bad feelings, they feel awful. HSPs are more emotionally aware. They will feel things in situations sooner than others will. They might be the first to cry at a wedding or a funeral, which is a good thing because it starts the ball rolling for everybody else, which is the whole point of crying. It's why we do it. It's a pro social trait that predates language, that means we can connect together. Although modern society seems to discourage crying, but that's another story. Part of this ability to be more aware of emotions will mean our empathy skills get turned up. HSPs will see the tiniest changes in somebody's facial expressions. They'll pick up on other people's emotions better than non HSPs. They make great therapists and great friends. They have more activation in the insula area of the brain. If the thalamus is the wifi router, the insular is your, your Apple watch that picks up the signals, gives you a little tap on the wrist. The insular reads the physiological state of your whole body and creates feelings based on what it thinks your body needs. So it picks up if your stomach is empty. Creates a hungry feeling, but it also receives signals from our mirror neurons in the brain because as far as the insular is concerned if you're thinking about swinging a tennis racket because you're watching it with your own eyes then the insular gives you an urge to actually move yourself. And this is the same with anything that we see with our own eyes if we see a picture of somebody who's sad. It makes us ever so slightly sad. Most people won't notice, but HSPs will because they're more in touch with their emotions, which merges nicely into the last trait, which is about picking up on the subtleties. Because it's not just the subtleties in someone's facial expressions, but also the dripping tap in the bathroom, the garlic in the bolognese sauce, the T shirt label tickling the back of your neck, the sunlight reflecting off a car bonnet, but also the change in somebody's hair, or the right jigsaw piece that fits, and they're great at spot the difference pictures. So having sensory processing sensitivity isn't all bad, and I think living as an HSP needs a few things. Firstly, You need to accept that it's real, so that you don't fight against it. Because you'd accept it in something else. You'd accept it in the timid fruit fly or the slow to react rhesus monkey. So accept it in yourself, too. I wish people hadn't been labelled by teachers or parents as shy, though. That label does so much harm to HSPs. And in the acceptance of our sensitivity, we can be in a better place to start letting go of those old labels. We do it about everything else, don't we? We change all the time. There are loads of things about you that belong in the past. I once fell down the stairs at home as a preschool kid because I was so excited about getting downstairs to watch Rainbow. My tastes have changed, as you could imagine. That part of my life felt easy to move away from with every month of my childhood. But being given those labels of shy and timid, they can stick with you and become a belief about self. And I know it's hard to change beliefs about self. If it wasn't, I wouldn't have a job as a therapist. But once you accept your sensitivity as a genuine part of you, rather than some disorder, you can better see it for what it really is, rather than shy. It might mean making some changes though, and that can be scary. Like I say, my wife is an HSP, so she's worked in the same place for nearly 25 years. No, it is 25 years now she's worked in the same place because the office setup, that fits her sensitivity. She's only ever really worked in a room with just a couple of people and she's thriving there. Because so many work from home nowadays, which she struggles with because there is too many subtle distractions at home. And if her company did change the way they did things and put her in a big open plan office, like I used to work in 20 odd years ago, she'd have to seriously reconsider her career. If you want to thrive as an HSP, you might have to do that. Because your sensitivity It isn't going to go away if you just put up with it. An HSP might need more downtime as well. Most, as I say, HSPs are introverted and are probably used to doing that anyway. But 30 percent are extroverted, which means they'll feel a pull towards stimulation and other people, but they can't live there. It's too much. Even if people they really relate to can do more, you might not be able to. So, quiet downtime is important. With little to no stimulation. Be okay with changing your clocks from ones that tick to those quiet ones that just go round. And learn to relax your mind. That's always important and that's why I make all those guided relaxation hypnotherapy tracks for you to listen on Patreon. Mental relaxation is a great skill anyway, HSP or not. But it's especially useful if you are in HSP. It has a side effect of training your brain for sleep as well so that it's easier to fall asleep. And sleep is important if you've got sensitive processing issues. The reason we sleep is because our brain needs to deal with all the things it processed whilst you were awake. So an HSP will probably need more sleep. If this is you. You need to be okay with that. You might need to go to bed before your partner does. Or get up later. Accept that. You're not being lazy. You're being you. And like so many of the topics that I talk about on here, I only really scratch the surface. And if you do think of yourself as possibly having sensory processing sensitivity, You can spend weeks reading about it in articles and books, listening to podcasts and watching YouTube videos about it. It's a really popular subject and it is well worth delving deeper into if you want to. Right then, I'll be off for now as today's another long episode today, isn't it? Look me up on Patreon if you'd like more content. I'm there every single Monday morning with some hopefully very useful stuff. So have a super duper day and I'll speak to you again very soon. Take care.