Badass Breastfeeding Podcast
Badass Breastfeeding Podcast
Things You Don't Need to Know About Breastfeeding
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You’ve seen those lists – Things You Need To Know About Breastfeeding
Well this is Things You DON’T Need To Know About Breastfeeding
And what does Star Wars have to do with it?? And maybe we spent too much time talking about farts.
If you are a new listener, we would love to hear from you. Please consider leaving us a review on itunes or sending us an email with your suggestions and comments to badassbreastfeedingpodcast@gmail.com
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Things we talked about:
How we came across this topic [3:27]
How much milk are you making [4:23]
How much milk is your baby getting? [7:36]
Is the baby eating or comfort nursing? [14:17]
What’s the baby doing? [20:43]
You don’t need to know what you ate [24:57]
You don’t need to know when the last feeding was [58:58]
How long does the baby feed for? [26:25]
You don’t need to know how much milk someone else makes or pumps [30:15]
Fat and calories [32:47]
*This Episode is sponsored by Niki’s and Fairhaven Health
Links to information we discussed or episodes you should check out!
https://badassbreastfeedingpodcast.com/episode/088-normal-newborn-breastfeeding-behaviors/
https://badassbreastfeedingpodcast.com/episode/growth-charts-and-percentiles/
https://badassbreastfeedingpodcast.com/episode/black-breastfeeding-week-with-meisha-the-nurse-milk/
Set up your consultation with Dianne
https://badassbreastfeedingpodcast.com/consultations/
Check out Dianne’s blog here~
https://diannecassidyconsulting.com/milklytheblog/
Don’t Forget!! Dianne and Abby have started the new parenting podcast! Check out Revolution Parenting!
https://www.buzzsprout.com/1755123/8400508
Follow our Podcast~
Here is how you can connect with Dianne and Abby~
- Abby Theuring https://www.thebadassbreastfeeder.com
- Dianne Cassidy http://www.diannecassidyconsulting.com
Music we use~
Music: "Levels of Greatness" from "We Used to Paint Stars in the Sky (2012)" courtesy of Scott Holmes at freemusicarchive.org/music/Scott Holmes
dianne (00:21):
[inaudible] Welcome to the badass breastfeeding podcast. This is Dianne, your lactation consultant,
abby (00:25):
and this is Abby. The badass breastfeeder. And today's episode is brought to you by Niki's natural wipes. The first all natural babies, white baby wipes made with menuca honey and coconut oil. And today's episode is also brought to you by Fair Haven health. The Milkies softies nursing pads are three pairs of soft absorbent reusable nursing pads to protect against leaks. Uh, and we'll hear more from our sponsors later, um, but these sponsors make this podcast possible. So please head to badassbreastfeedingpodcast.com and check out our sponsor page. If you need anything, see if you can give them any of your business. And while you're there, scroll down and enter your email address and get our episodes sent straight to your inbox every Monday. And now Dianne has our review of the week.
dianne (01:11):
Yes. And before I do my review of the week, I do have to put a little ad in there and say that, um, we're starting to get my son ready to pack up and go to West Virginia university. And he did request to take some Niki's natural wipes with him.
abby (01:25):
So I will have wipes in my house for the rest of my life. This is the most awesome thing that I've discovered having children is baby wipes. They, I can't live without them. They're awesome. They're just awesome.
dianne (01:41):
Okay. So the review of the week comes from iTunes, and this seems to be the theme, a lot of the reviews that we've been getting lately. Fantastic for the first time, mom, I am happy I found this podcast prior to having my first baby prior to hearing your podcast I had only heard horror stories about how hard breastfeeding is. Your podcasts gave me confidence. And I was able to start breastfeeding off on the right foot without feeling stressed. I have fed on demand and completely trust my body. I have never once questioned if my baby's getting enough milk, when she cluster feeds comfort feeds or nurses for different lengths of time due to listening to your podcasts. Thank you. And this is awesome. And the reason I chose this one today is because we are going to talk about the things that you don't need to know.
abby (02:26):
Yes. And can I, can I just say before we get into it, I want to make a note that this, this week is native breastfeeding week. Ooh. Just say that's something that we're celebrating. Yeah. Yeah. So the second week of world breastfeeding month is native breastfeeding week. Um, and so happy native breastfeeding week. And you can head to the badass breastfeeder or probably especially on Instagram. And, um, I will be sharing like various, um, native breastfeeding photos and information and stuff to celebrate the week. Um, if you're interested in checking that out.
dianne (03:00):
Yeah. And I'll be sharing some stuff too. So if you don't follow me, it's @ DianneOCassidy on Instagram, and I will be sharing some stuff too, because I do follow some really great, um, native breastfeeding week stuff.
abby (03:13):
So yeah. We can show it. And when, you know, obviously when you see, you can follow those pages too. Yeah. That'd be awesome. So things you don't need to know about breastfeeding. It was so can we say where this came from?
dianne (03:25):
Yeah. God. Yeah. Cause this is a good one.
abby (03:27):
My kids really into star wars and he was like, yeah, we just read this. Uh, we just read this post, like things, 10 things you don't need to know about star wars. And I was like, what? And so it was like 10 things you don't need to know about star wars, but it was like things that are still interesting to know about star wars and whatever my mind just started going. And I was like, we should do breastfeeding one about that. That'd be funny. But we do have some stuff it's actually really good. It's stuff that you don't, that you'll be interested. It's really useful to know that you don't need to know this. Absolutely. So go ahead.
dianne (04:02):
You want me to go first? Abby and I made lists, but if anybody has ever listened to our podcast before where we have lists, you know, that they're usually quite similar, so I don't know what she has and she doesn't know what I have.
abby (04:15):
Yeah. And we don't like get together beforehand to like compare that.
dianne (04:18):
we're not that organized.
abby (04:21):
It's more fun this way too.
dianne (04:23):
So my first one is obviously you do not need to know how much milk you make. Oh, that's, that is my big one because everybody seems to want to know how much milk am I making? How much milk am I making? I need to know how much milk I'm making and yeah.
abby (04:42):
And then they even get told like pump So you can see how much milk you're making.
dianne (04:47):
that doesn't tell you anything.
abby (04:49):
It's so ridiculous. You don't need to know.
dianne (04:51):
And once you let go of that, it is really freeing. Like I remember feeling like that too. I remember I'm not just like putting that out there so I could just say, oh, you shouldn't need, you don't need to know that. I remember feeling like, oh my gosh, my kids, you know, like, what am I making, blah, blah, blah. Once you let that go, you can really like, enjoy your breast and chest feeding relationship when you are not so hyper village vigilant village. So hyper vigilant about what is going on in the breast and how much milk you're making.
abby (05:23):
Yeah. I Remember that early on with Jack too, where I was like nursing and pumping nursing, pumping, pumping after every feeding, trying to like boost the milk supply, you know, how they tell you to do oh, and I was just freaking out about it. And I was on like some, you know, breastfeeding mommy, whatever group on Facebook and this person, I don't even know who it was anymore was like, um, what if you just stopped pumping? What if you just like, stopped doing that? And just like, just take a break, just stop doing that. And you know, just go ahead with nursing on demand and you know, and it like really blew my mind. She was really trying to talk me down. She was like, well, let's just stop doing that. Let's just stop doing that for a minute. Let's just take a break from that. Like, and she knew that I could just stop doing that and, you know, relax and keep my baby at the breast. And then that would be a much easier and more effective way of feeding. It was Great. It, as soon as I stopped pumping, I never pumped again.
dianne (06:25):
That's great advice that she gave you. Yeah. When you needed it. For sure. And it, it really is just like, it becomes so consuming. Like, oh my God, I just, how much am I making? I don't know if I'm making enough. One of the things I hear so often from parents, like, they'll come in and they'll be like, well, you know, we keep a bottle because, well, you know, you can't tell how much the baby's getting. Like it's my first day as a lactation consultant. Like really? I didn't know that. I didn't know. You couldn't tell what the baby's getting, you know, like everybody is so, so focused on what is the baby getting? What is the baby getting? What is the baby getting it's like it just yes It's, it's good to know that. And there are times when, especially if we're having problems with breastfeeding that we'll do weighted feeds and things like that, but it's not something you need to know all the time. It's like, what, how much milk am I making? Well, how do I know what I make it? How do I know? How do I know? You Don't know.
abby (07:16):
there's a reason why it's really hard to figure out is because you don't need to figure it out. Yeah. If it was something that you absolutely needed to know, they would have made your boobs clear or something, but they're not, you can't see inside. You can't measure it. It's just because you don't need to.
dianne (07:32):
Yeah. You just don't need to. So that's my first one.
abby (07:36):
Okay. So this just, I mean, I don't know if this is the same or if it kind of goes along it just as another ad, another way of looking at what you just said, which is, I don't need to know how much my baby's getting, you know, which is just the same thing. You know, we don't need to know what the what's transferring because that's the other aspect is, oh my God, is he getting enough? Is he? I don't think he's getting enough. He's fussy. I don't think he's getting enough. He's blah, blah, blah. I don't think he's getting enough.
dianne (08:05):
One thing I think parents don't realize, and I have that down here too, but I haven't done as like how much milk your baby takes and it's, that is the other, it does go along with it. And it's so it makes parents crazy. Like they just, I don't know what he's getting. I don't know what he's getting. And it really like newborn behavior is like a different language.
abby (08:29):
Yeah. We have an episode on that.
dianne (08:31):
Yeah. And it is so like you, and I feel like everybody comes into looking at newborn behavior and saying, oh, they're hungry. Like everything is the baby's hungry. It's like not everything they do equates hunger and they're not always hungry. That's why we always say like feed on demand and trust your body. Just like the review. I started feeding on demand. I trust my body and my baby is doing fine. And really that's what it comes to. And it's really hard because we have our, our society doesn't like support that we like to be like, what do they get? Did they get enough? Maybe they didn't get enough. What are they doing?
abby (09:07):
And it's interesting to me because these are things that we don't, it's the same thing that when they're inside of us when we're pregnant, but we don't worry about that. Like, you don't ever hear people saying like, oh, I wonder if my baby is getting enough nutrients when they're in me, if they're getting enough nutrients, I don't know, thinking of nutrients, like, I don't know. Maybe somebody had that worry, but it's not an across the board thing. Like it is with breastfeeding. And it's, there's something about a trust or because maybe we're more familiar with it. We know that it just kind of happens. And it kind of works, um, where we don't really think about that. And then when it comes to breastfeeding and we don't see breastfeeding and, and you know, there's all kinds of other layers to that put doubt in our mind. And then it's all, it's all, it's all gone. It's all gone from there. Then we're constantly worried about every second of it. We suddenly don't believe that our body can do this when it just got done growing the baby. Yeah. Your body grew the baby it birthed the baby. And now we don't think that it can feed the baby. We just think that it doesn't know how to do that, even though it did all these other things. It's interesting. It really, and it has a lot to do with like formula culture and bottle culture, which has, which has over time, over a long time, put so much misinformation out there and created so much of a culture of just doubt and not normalized breastfeed.
dianne (10:34):
I was reading something yesterday and I think it was yesterday. You know, I get into these like black holes on the internet, just like how everybody else is. You just go into freaking rabbit holes and happened upon a blog that was, um, more focused on trying to decrease breastfeeding and the stuff that they were saying on there was just so like, so fear-mongering.
abby (11:07):
and I don't think people understand this when you go onto a website that is, you know, that sells bottles or sells, um, you know, certainly formula or I can't think of all the products that are out there, but like a lot of times these I'd say most of the time part of this marketing is putting out information, information and creating blogs and all this stuff to make you to sway you away from breastfeeding to, you know, to, to need their product. They're like, oh, actually, did you know that all these things could go wrong? Did you know that these are signs that things aren't working? You know, did you know that these things are actually things that you can't do when you're breastfeeding? It, all of that is to get you to, to fail at breastfeeding so that you then need their product. That's what marketing is in this area.
dianne (12:03):
One of the most common ones I see, which enrages me is, you know, breastfeeding is very important. Breastfeeding is best for your baby. Um, you know, a lot of parents go into having a baby wanting to breastfeed, but the majority of women can't do it for whatever reason. And it's like, that's not true. There is a very small percentage of women who truly do struggle with making enough milk. And it's a very, like it's, it's related to some medical reasons.
abby (12:34):
Like it's an actual medical condition. And you actually can not make enough milk,
dianne (12:38):
that is not as common as people think it is. So when people put out there, the majority of women do not make enough milk. Like that is ridiculous to me because it's like, that is not true. That is not true. But if you're pregnant and you're reading that, that's going to sit in your head for sure. And you're going to, you're going to go through, am I making enough milk? And is my baby getting enough milk constantly because they planted that seed in your head that women don't make enough milk.
abby (13:08):
Exactly. Right. And this seed has been planted in our head a long time ago. And the, these, this, this market for all of these things that they're trying to sell, you just continue to feed off of that. It's crazy. It's absolutely insane. And then people go, well, this is, you know, the, the breastfeeding camp, you know, they're, they're too aggressive. They're too, you know, they're trying to make it difficult, breastfeeding so hard. And it's like, yeah, okay. First of all, breastfeeding is hard and it makes it harder. Cause we live in this culture where we're constantly being told that, you know, it's not working and that we don't work. Um, but also half the things they say that make breastfeeding hard, aren't even true to begin with.
dianne (13:53):
That's true. Or it's stuff. Like I read one time, somebody was like, oh, you know, it's really difficult for, for parents to breastfeed because the mothers have to go back to work whose fault is that?
abby (14:05):
Right? Right. Exactly.
dianne (14:06):
It's their fault. So we blame, we blame the parent now will you have back to work So you don't get to breastfeed anymore. Right? Like you can't throw that out there as a reason why somebody can't breastfeed.
abby (14:17):
I know. Right. It's, that's messed up the whole thing is messed up. It is. It's so messed up. Yeah. We can go on. And here's another thing that you don't need to know is your baby eating or comfort nursing?
dianne (14:30):
That's a good one.
abby (14:31):
You know, when our latched on people were like, oh my God, are they eating? I don't know. I think they're comfort nursing. And then you have these doctors that are like, take them off when they're comfort nursing, take them off because, um, I don't know. What's the stupid reason you don't want them to form a habit. Right? It's a bad habit. They're, you know, they need to learn to self-soothe or it's bad for your milk supply or I don't even know what, there's no reason for them to be there.
dianne (14:55):
I have parents ask me all the time. Am I starting a bad habit? If I allowed them to just nurse, right. Can I do this? Is this okay? Is this okay? Like this is your baby. Of course. It's okay. It's encouraged.
abby (15:06):
Yeah. That's only, yeah. That's the only place. The only environment they're adapted to, they're supposed to be, they're supposed to hang out there all the time. They're not going to be eating the whole time. Cause sometimes they're gonna fall asleep and they're gonna, it's going to be there for safety. Cause that's the only place that they want to be. And you don't need to know. You can know if you get to know the suckle, you'll be able to tell when they're eating and when they're actually like swallowing, you know, but, and it's cool, but you also don't need to know, you know, cause my, you don't need, I remember my dad saying one time, oh, is he nursing or is he just hanging out? And I was like, I don't know, man.
dianne (15:47):
I know. Right. I know. I totally have something to say about that, but I don't know if I should get into it right now if we should do it after.
abby (15:52):
Okay, well, yeah. Keep it on your mind and we'll do the ads and then, um, we'll have an immediate segue. Okay, perfect. Perfect. We'll be right back. Today's episode is brought to you by Niki's natural wipes. Niki's was created out of the passion of two new parents wanting to protect the health of their precious new baby. Niki conventional baby wipes contain harsh chemicals that can lead to redness, itchiness, dry skin, a burning sensation, and even blisters and urinary tract infections utilizing the miraculous antibacterial qualities of menuca honey combined with the proven ability of coconut oil to moisturize dry skin Niki's has set a new global standard for premium baby wipes. The smell and feel of the wipes is unique. 100% natural ethically sourced, EWG certified and biodegradable check out the first natural baby wipes made with menuca honey and coconut oil on Nikis.com. That's N I K I s.com and use promo code badass 10 for 10% off of your purchase. Today's episode is also brought to you by fair Haven health. Leaking can be a constant struggle that some parents deal with, especially in those early months, leaking through your shirt is not another hassle you want to be dealing with. And those disposable nursing pads add up in cost and garbage and work about as well as the time I rolled up toilet paper and stuck a wad in my bra, the Milky softies nursing pads are designed to keep you dry and comfortable. These pads are three layers and natural fiber layer against your skin that wicks moisture away and is soft enough to wear even with sore nipples, then a note, then an inner ultra absorbent layer, and finally a micro bleak resistant layer on the outside. The Milky softies nursing pads is contour to your body so that it doesn't look or feel bulky in your bra, the box comes with three pairs of these reusable and machine washable, nursing pads, checkout Milky, softies nursing pads at FairHavenHealth.com. That's F a I R H a V E N. health.com and use code badass for 15% off of your purchase. And these sponsors and their promo codes can be found at badassbreastfeedingpodcast.com our show notes. We'll also include further information about things we talk about in this episode and at badassbreastfeedingpodcast.com. You'll also find information, um, oh, you'll find breastfeeding resources, all of our other episodes and information about scheduling your very own one-on-one online lactation consultation with Dianne
dianne (18:21):
So segue back into.
abby (18:22):
yes. Now we're back.
dianne (18:24):
Yes. I had to write it down. So I remember,
abby (18:26):
2 minutes is way too long,
dianne (18:30):
way too long to try to remember what I was talking about. So what I, a lot of times what I do with parents, when I see them, I do spend a lot of time showing them like, this is, this is when your baby's feeding. Like this is a suck and swallow. And see when they're doing this, the suckling, the non-nutritive sucks that is when they're, you know, comfort nursing. And I teach them that because, well, because parents don't really know, like it's an people will tell them, maybe their doctor, maybe their friend, maybe who knows who. maybe they read it in one of those stupid blogs that isn't one of our blogs, by the way. But one of those other blogs that says only keep your baby on for 10 minutes or only keep your baby shouldn't feed, be feeding longer than 10 minutes. Your baby shouldn't be feeding longer than 15 minutes. And sometimes they take them off before when baby's actually actively feeding. So I like for parents to be able to recognize, okay, this is a suck and swallow. This means they're feeding. This means they're transferring milk, but I always tell them like, you can leave them there. Like if you're just kind of hanging, baby's, relaxing, you're relaxing. Like you don't have to take them off. You can leave them there. That is where they want to be. Like, it's not necessary. It's good to know, okay. This is when they're actually feeding, but you don't need to take your baby off. Right? If you're content there, if you're just hanging out there, if your baby's quiet, like there's, if they're sleeping, you can leave them there. That's not hurting anything. What's it going to hurt? It's only going to, you're only nurturing. You're nurturing your child. Like how is that going to hurt anything?
abby (20:08):
No, it's good. This again, the only environment they're adapted to this, this, this time is when they're forming an attachment with you. And that is the basis of it. Breastfeeding is the basis of that. Of course bottle fed babies attached with their caregivers too. But the biological way that you know, that we understand this as, as humans forming attachment to caregivers, you know, is through breastfeeding, right? So just leave them there. The point is it leaves them there.
dianne (20:40):
and it's not hurting anything. You can leave them there.
abby (20:42):
Complete opposite.
dianne (20:43):
Yeah. It is the complete opposite. My next one kind of goes a little bit along with that. And that is you do not need to know what your baby is doing. And I don't mean it in just like, of course, like what we were just talking about. Like, are they feeding? Are they comfort nursing? But any of the things like people like, well, they're fussy. Do they need to feed? They're doing this. They have the hiccups. What does that mean? They have this, they split up. What does that mean? What's happening with this? What is my baby doing? People were like, so focused on what is my baby doing? What does it mean? They're just doing stuff. Your baby has no ulterior motive. They're just, it's like being a baby. Like they're just, and we spend so much time trying to figure out what does this mean? This has to mean something. What are they doing?
abby (21:34):
We're so afraid Something's wrong. Like, oh my goodness. All we do is think something is wrong all the time.
dianne (21:41):
All the time. Think of, oh, what's the baby doing? What, what are they doing? What is this? What is this about? What is this about? What is it about, why are you doing that?
abby (21:48):
I remember how scary it was to me too. To think that the baby was gassy.
dianne (21:54):
Oh my God. That's such a big one.
abby (21:55):
like, maybe he needs to like fart or he's like gassy. And I would like panic about it. And now I look back and I'm like, he was guessing. So fricking what?
dianne (22:03):
It is a huge, huge issue because there's always what am I eating? am I eating something? What am I doing? What had happened? What happened?
abby (22:08):
Yeah. I don't freak out when I have to fart. I'm not like, oh my God. Oh my God, something's wrong. I have to go to the hospital. Oh my God, something's wrong. It's like, that's a normal bodily function. It's more annoying for them because they haven't figured out all those muscles yet. They don't know how to do it. They're uncomfortable. But like, there's nothing wrong with them. They're just gassy. Yeah. That's all it is. But we freak out, like, there's something seriously like a medical condition.
dianne (22:33):
And they're always like, well, people are, well, how do I prevent this from happening?
abby (22:37):
Yeah. And then there's gas drops and there's this little like, um, things are gonna stick inside Your baby's butt to get the gas out. Swear to God. It whistles too. So, you know, when it comes out. What in the mother frikin what??
dianne (22:46):
the only way to prevent any of this is to not have a baby. That's the only way to prevent it. Like it is going to happen. This is stuff that is going to happen and there's no way around it. And it's just normal stuff. They're human. it's normal stuff.
abby (23:10):
We will, you know, and we have, I mean, this capitalist society has found a market. Man. They have found a market to play on every single last anxiety that you have. And yes, we do have sponsors here and I will tell you something behind the scenes. Dianne and I have long conversations about emails that we get all the time from products that people are trying to get on this podcast. They're trying to advertise to you. And we are like a firewall. I mean, we are like turning people. We are turning good cash money all the time because people come up with these things that are like here, you know, advertise this, advertise, this, people need this. And we're like, yeah, absolutely freaking lutely, not.
dianne (23:52):
Abby sent me one yesterday. We were like, oh no, this is insane.
abby (23:59):
Oh my God, you're trying to do what, like again, you know, like there's some of these things that you advertise, some of this stuff you don't need that you buy it, how much stuff do you buy that you don't need? I buy lots of stuff I don't need because it's fun. And it makes it easier. And I like it. And you know, and so, but you know, we're not trying to, some of this stuff is not okay. I know it's just playing on all of this fear in any way. And that was my rant.
dianne (24:23):
And one of the things I read recently, and that was, I tried to tell parents this too, but I did read it recently. And I thought it was really interesting was that the majority of your baby's gas comes from the air they take in when they're crying, like yeah. And it makes sense. And we know that and I, you know, and I tell parents when they say, well, the baby didn't burp. That's another thing. They're not burping. They didn't burp.
abby (24:48):
They're gassy. They're not gassy. The baby can't win. It's like gassy. Oh my God. She freaks out. Not gassy and she's freaking out.
dianne (24:57):
I know. I know. It's like, but you don't need to worry about this stuff. They just do it. I mean, I don't, well, sometimes I worry about my husband's gas, if it's super excessive, but, or like my own or like my kids or whatever. And it's like, all right, obviously you're eating something.
abby (25:15):
That's something you ate. And usually you can go like, oh yeah, I totally ate that. I know, I know it did it.
dianne (25:22):
But when we're breastfeeding, we're always like, what did I eat to cause this gas? You didn't eat anything to cause the gas for your baby. That's true. That's totally. There's nothing you did. They're a baby. They have a digestive system and they will have gas for the rest of their lives.
abby (25:36):
Let's add that. You don't need to know what you ate.
dianne (25:37):
Oh, that's a good one. Yes. See we're coming up with stuff as we, as we go along,
abby (25:43):
we're coming up with all kinds of more stuff. You don't need to know.
dianne (25:47):
All right. What else you got?
abby (25:48):
So I've got, this is kind of like all rolled into one. So you don't need to know when the baby at LA eight last what time it is or how long they ate for.
dianne (25:58):
Yes. I have you don't have to worry about, or you don't know. You don't need to know what time, your last, your baby's last feeding was.
abby (26:05):
It doesn't matter when they last ate. Just, you know, if you're breastfeeding on demand, you're not looking at the clock anyway. Right. So you don't need to know what time it is. Cause you don't need to know when they ate last, you don't need to know what time it is right now. Unless you gotta be somewhere. And you don't need to know how long they ate. Cause that's another thing. Oh my God. They only ate for eight minutes. What does that mean? Okay. Nothing. Yeah.
dianne (26:25):
Eight minutes. I don't know. But then the next feeding they were on for 15 minutes. Does that mean they didn't get anything? Does that mean they didn't get enough? That mean I'm not making enough milk at that time of the day because the baby ate for 15 minutes. One day, one time and only ate for eight minutes the Next time. Oh my God.
abby (26:39):
and no listen, people, we are promised. We absolutely promise. We're not making fun you that we're making fun of ourselves because this is what we've all done this. Every last one of us, we are in this group. When we say we got an email from somebody who was freaking out because they only eat for eight minutes. It's like, I am, I am her. We know this stuff. We all freaked out about what time it is. What, when they ate last, what? Well, you kind of want to know what boob they ate off of last time. That's helpful. Um, what else was the other, whatever I asked, but you know what I'm saying? Like, we've all done this. And sometimes I, when I'm talking about this, I feel like I just want to crack up so hard that I'm going to cry. Like I just want to like burst into laughter, but like I don't, you know, but I want everyone to know I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing at me because I did all of this. This all comes from, I'm not a lactation consultant. I'm doing all this came from my own experience, breastfeeding, my own terrible, terrible turned into pretty good, you know, long, long years of breastfeeding. So anyway, I don't even know why I started to say that. Cause I felt like I was going to start laughing really hard at the eight minutes thing.
dianne (27:52):
Yeah, I know. And it just, I remember like I I'm like having these flashbacks right now of my first son, you know, being fussy during the evening fussiness and all that stuff. And my mom saying, what did you eat? It was something you ate. What did you have for lunch and blah blah blah? And it was those peppers you ate. And that's what it did it.
abby (28:11):
Oh yeah. First of all, people are terrible.
dianne (28:14):
Oh they are. And my mother didn't breastfeed. So how would she know? Right. Like, so that's, you know, like just, I can't even get into that whole story about how people that don't breastfeed are the ones that love to give advice about it. But I remember thinking, well, great. I'm just going to have to live on tomato soup for the rest of my life. Because obviously every single thing I eat is going to bother this guy. I had no idea. I was not a lactation consultant. I was not a lactation consultant when I had my kids. That is usually how people end up in this field because they figure it out as they go along. And it becomes a passion. But we, I, we didn't know. Like we just didn't know. We didn't know what everything was, what was doing. And we questioned every little thing to question the gas. I questioned the F you know, everything.
abby (29:01):
Yeah. It is so scary. Being a parent is so scary. This little thing is totally dependent on you for it's very life. And that is something that has never happened to anybody before this. And it's scary as hell.
dianne (29:19):
Oh yeah. It's a lot of pressure.
abby (29:22):
Yeah. Talk about pressure without you It will die. Okay. Well, geez. Okay. So now I'm going to go ahead and freak out about every last thing it does.
dianne (29:31):
Right? And you just want to be the best parent you can be. And I mean, you are being the best parent. Yeah. I mean, it's just really, ah, so overwhelming. And then you have society telling you you're doing it all wrong because your baby can't fart. Right. Crazy.
abby (29:49):
You need The whistle.
dianne (29:50):
you need, you need the butt whistler. Yeah. I hear those things really work though. I don't know.
abby (29:56):
Yeah. But that's the thing is that they also say don't use those because then your baby's not learning to push the farts out. like this is a normal thing. I'm saying don't and just don't you don't need to stick things up there to get the gas, to get the air out. It will come out just like it comes out of all the people and they will learn how to push it out. Like just leave it alone.
dianne (30:15):
Yeah. It's totally. Okay. My next one is you do not need to know how much milk your friend or neighbor or person on Facebook makes or pumps.
abby (30:26):
Perfect.
dianne (30:27):
Because that is not helpful for anybody to compare what your body is doing versus what somebody else's body is doing. It will lead you to all kinds of trouble.
abby (30:39):
Yeah. Yeah. You will freak out because everybody's body is different. Just like everybody's body looks different and baby looks different.
dianne (30:51):
It's yeah. It really to compare like, oh, well this baby's fatter than my baby. They're the same age. Why is that baby fatter than my baby? This mother makes more milk than I do. This parent pumps more milk than I can pump. The person at work pumps you know, three times what I pump what's wrong with me? Nothing, nothing is wrong. There's nothing wrong. It's all fine. Everybody's different. Everybody adapts differently. Everybody's body is doing something different.
abby (31:24):
Everybody's responds to a pump differently.
dianne (31:26):
Exactly. Everybody responds to a pump differently. There's so many variables that you do not even realize exist until you are actually in the field of lactation. So if you're just running along, feeding your baby, that's all you need to do. You don't need to worry about all the other people around you that are doing. Who knows what? Because it just, it, it really, and I had somebody recently that fell into that hole because she was on some kind of Facebook group that they were talking about, the, the weights of their babies at a certain age and her baby didn't weigh that. So then that started her thinking, what's going on and started doctor's appointments and all your baby's not gaining enough. We need to work. We might have to put them in the hospital and blah, blah, blah. And it's like, oh my gosh. She even said to me specifically that it all started. I thought everything was fine. And all started because I was comparing what my baby was weighing to other babies, my baby's age.
abby (32:27):
Right. And it's not going to be the same.
dianne (32:28):
It's not, it's not going to be the same. So it's really hard to look away from it. But it's really important to try to put that into practice because it's, it's just gonna destroy you. If you focus on that, just pay attention to what your baby's doing. Don't worry about everybody Else's.
abby (32:47):
yeah. So you also don't need to know the fat or the calorie content of your breast milk.
dianne (32:53):
Good one. That's a good one. You do not need to know that. You do not need to know.
abby (32:58):
No, you do not need to know. And again, it could copying off of, you know what Dianne said, just because your friend's milk happened to look fattier in the bottle after it was pumped, then your milk, it doesn't matter that baby needs more fat than your baby. You don't need to know this. Absolutely. No reason to know.
dianne (33:26):
And it's something that comes up. Somebody asked me this recently, um, because of course, you know, somebody had said, well, maybe the calorie, maybe your breast milk have calories.
abby (33:37):
Doctors say this, well, your best milk doesn't have enough fat in it. You need to use formula or cow's milk. Or you known as have enough calories. What?
dianne (33:44):
So this, you know, this parent asked me like, how do I, is there a way to know? And I'm like, you know what? I don't, I think there's a machine. Like I think they have, you know, like NICU's I think might have machines or like milk banks. I think they know like have ways to figure that stuff out. But your average human being no, like there's no,
abby (34:05):
if your baby's in the NICU, then go ahead and just do what they think is necessary. If they think it's necessary to like figure out how many calories are in this milk to give you fat content or whatever to give, to give this like premature baby that's in a NICU. Okay. That's okay. But you're just sitting at home, listening to this podcast, wondering how much calories are in your milk. Just worry about something else. Just think about something else because you don't need to know. And it's absolute fricking nonsense. When somebody says that your milk doesn't have enough calories or doesn't have enough fat in it. That is not true. Your body did not grow your baby because it didn't know what to do or how to, how to take care of your baby. It is exactly the same thing. Your body knew how to nurture the baby when it was in your body. And it knows how to nurture, to feed the baby. Now that it's outside your body, doesn't get it wrong. Your body doesn't go. Oops. I made the calories wrong. Oh, I accidentally made the fat content wrong. No, no way. Nope. Think about it. How have humans survived this whole time without figuring out what the calorie content was in the breast milk. You think they thought about this, right? Nobody. She thinks that like, you know, the dog, your puppy, your dog, that had puppies thinks about this, just do it. They just feed, just lay on your side with your boobs, hanging out. Just like your dog. And feed.
dianne (35:45):
don't you wish you had like eight nipples? Like just like rotate.
abby (35:51):
Yeah. Just pick one. Nah I think 2 is good enough.
dianne (35:56):
Be kind of weird, but all right. Do you have any more?
abby (36:00):
No, that was pretty much it. I have one more. Okay. You don't need to know your baby's place on the growth chart.
dianne (36:06):
Oh, that's a good one too. Yes. Please refer to our growth chart episode.
abby (36:13):
My baby's only in the 10 percentile. Is he really? It's only in the 10th percentile. He needs to be on a higher,
dianne (36:22):
yeah. People call me about that all the time. Well, they said the baby dropped a percentile. I don't care about that. Tell me what the weight is. Like. I don't care what the percentile is. It just really tells us nothing that tells us nothing. Yeah. Yeah. And again, definitely go back to that episode where we talk about where percentiles come from and then you will feel better about your baby's percentile. Yeah. That's all I'm going to say about that. Right.
abby (36:47):
Thanks for listening. Thank you.
Speaker 1 (37:01):
[inaudible].