Being Overly Polite Does NOT Save Your Deals

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If you’re new to my channel my name is RJ Bates III. Myself and my partner Cassi DeHaas are the founders of Titanium Investments.

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Over 10 years in the real estate investing business
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Transcript

The Hidden Cost Of Being Nice

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One of the biggest mistakes acquisitions people make is acting like every seller request has to be accommodated. Seller says, Well, you need to come see the property first. And immediately the rookie response is, okay, when worse for you. And that sounds polite, sounds reasonable, and it sounds like good customer service. But in reality, that mindset is exactly how you become a professional time waster. Because the issue is not whether seeing the property has value, of course it does. Condition matters. Seeing the house can be helpful. The issue is this coming out to see the property before there is a signed contract is not part of our process. And that matters. Because if you do not have hard lines in the sand in this business, sellers will make your process for you. They will have you jumping through hoops. It will have you driving across town for houses they were never serious about selling. They will have you spending hours giving free evaluations, free education, and free attention to people who have no intention of doing a deal. At that point, you're no longer running a business. You're just doing anything and everything a seller asks. And that is a losing game. That did not become a policy because it sounded good. It became a policy because we lived the alternative. We wasted countless hours going to properties only to find out that the seller wanted double what the house was actually worth because they had no real understanding of the condition. We went to houses where seller changed their mind the second we got there. We got dragged into situations where sellers were using us as one more body to create a bidding war with the competitors. That is what happens when you do not have a defined process. You become the free appointment, the free second opinion. You become the leverage the seller uses against somebody else. And that is not business, that is volunteering. So at some point, you have to decide are we going to get deals done or are we here to let sellers dictate every step of how we operate? Because those two things are not the same. This is the part acquisition people need to understand. Sellers do not get to redesign your business model because they are uncomfortable with your process. So think about open door. If you went to open door to sell your house, you don't call them and say, actually, I need you to do this my way. You do not tell them to throw out their process, you do not tell them to change how they evaluate, how they offer, or how they buy. You either follow their process or you choose to sell your house to someone else. That's it. And that is the exact same thought process we have. We have a process for a reason. It protects our time, it protects our business, it protects us from getting jerked around by unrealistic sellers, tire kickers, and people shopping us against competitors. And just because a seller asks us to break that process does not mean we should. So let's talk about what to say and what not to say. Starting off with the bad response number one. Sure, I could come out. No, that teaches the seller that your process is flexible the second they push back. Bad response number two. Well, I need to see it before I can make an offer. That just puts you in a weak frame because now you're agreeing to their demand instead of standing on your process. Bad response number three. That's fine, but only if you sign the contract first. Well, that makes you sound combatitive if you say it the wrong way. The goal is not to fight the seller, the goal is to calmly and confidently communicate. This is how we buy. What you should say instead is when a seller says, when a seller says you need to come see it first, your response should be, I understand why you'd say that. Coming to see the property before a signed agreement is not part of our process. The reason we do it this way is because we do not want to waste your time or ours. If we can agree on numbers and terms first, then we move forward from there. That is calm, that is professional, and that is clear expectations. You're not apologizing for your process, you're not debating your process, you're not asking for permission for your process. You're simply explaining it. Now, why does this work? Because certainty creates respect. Most sellers are not used to dealing with people who actually have standards. Most investors or wholesalers they talk to are desperate. They bend on everything, they chase every maybe, they drive out to anything with four walls and a roof because they are afraid to lose the deal. It was never a deal to begin with. And ironically, that weakness makes the seller respect them less. When you clearly explain that this is how your company operates, you position yourself like a real business and not some random investor begging for an opportunity. And it builds credibility, and that frame matters because the seller now has a decision to make. Do I want to work within this process or do I want to go another direction? Both are fine, but what is not fine is you abandoning your standards just to keep a conversation alive. Usually one of three things is happening. One, they're unrealistic on price. They want you to come out because they know if they tell you the number on the phone, the conversation probably dies right there. Number two, they're not actually committed to selling. They like the idea of selling, but they're nowhere near ready to make a decision. Number three, they're using you. They want multiple investors walking through so they can create pressure and compare numbers and play one against the other. If that is happening, good. Your process should filter those people out. And that is exactly what it is supposed to do. Your job is not to meet every seller where they are emotionally. Your job is to lead them through a process that protects both parties and gives you the best chance of actually doing business. Not every seller is supposed to fit your process. That's okay. Not every lead is supposed to become an appointment or a contract. That's okay. All of this is part of the process. So just understand that. But if you do not have boundaries, your business will get flooded with fake opportunities that eat up all your time and energy while producing almost nothing. And that is how acquisition teams stay busy without being productive. Here's a simple example. The seller says, I'm not signing anything until you come look at it. You say, that's completely your choice. But on our end, we do not view properties before assigning an agreement. We put that process in place because we used to spend a lot of time going to houses where sellers were unrealistic, changed their mind, or were simply using us to shop offers. So if that process doesn't work for you, I completely understand. Now look what happened there. No arguing, no chasing, no begging, and no defensiveness. You simply stated the process and let the seller decide whether they want to participate. That is strength. When you say it like that, one of two things happens. Either the seller disqualifies themselves, or they realize you're serious and start taking you more seriously. Both outcomes help you. Because this business is not won by collecting the most appointments. It is one by protecting your time for the right opportunities to get signed contracts. If coming to see the property before a signed contract is not part of your process, then stop acting like it is negotiable. Don't blur the line. Do not make exceptions every other call. Do not train sellers that all they have to do is push a little and you will cave. A real business has a process. A real business has standards. A real business does not let the customer rewrite how it operates. Open Door has a process. Every serious company has a process. And sellers can either work within that process or choose to sell to someone else. That's not rude. That is not inflexible. That is not bad sales. That is how you stop wasting time and start dealing with people who are actually serious. And yes, the reason why I continuously use Open Door as an example throughout this video is because we literally copied Open Door's process for buying houses back in 2020 when we became a complete nationwide virtual wholesaler. And we have not gone to see properties since then before having a signed contract. Have we missed out on opportunities? I'm sure we have.