The Titanium Vault hosted by RJ Bates III

Less Drama, More Wins | How Top Performers Handle Pressure

RJ Bates III Episode 886

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0:00 | 13:22

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If you’re new to my channel my name is RJ Bates III. Myself and my partner Cassi DeHaas are the founders of Titanium Investments.

We are nationwide virtual wholesalers and on this channel we share EVERYTHING that we do inside our business. So if you’re looking to close more deals - at higher assignments - anywhere in the country… You’re in the right place.

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Over 10 years in the real estate investing business
Closed deals in all 50 states
​Owned rentals in 12 states
​Flipped houses in 11 states
​Closed on over 2,000 properties
​125 contracts in 50 days (all live on YouTube)
​Back to back Closers Olympics Champion
Trained thousands of wholesalers to close more deals

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Why Winners Stay Calm

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One thing I've noticed about people who actually win is they're usually less dramatic about the work. They do not need every challenge to become a crisis. They do not need every bad moment to become a speech. They don't need every setback to turn into some emotional event. They just keep playing the game. And I think that's something a lot of entrepreneurs need to hear. Because some people love the drama of wanting to win more than they love the discipline of actually winning. They love the motivational quote or the breakthrough moment. They love the comeback story. They love the idea of being counted out. They love telling everybody how hard things are. But when it's time to actually execute, adjust, stay calm, and keep moving, they lose themselves in emotion. And emotion is not the same thing as intensity. Drama is not the same thing as caring. Panic is not proof that you want it badly. Sometimes panic is just proof that you have not trained yourself to stay useful when things go wrong. And if you're trying to build anything meaningful, things are going to go wrong. It's not a negative, it's just the truth. The deal is going to fall apart. The seller's going to ghost you. The buyer is going to try to renegotiate at the closing table. The employee is going to disappoint you. The video is going to underperform. The money's going to become tight and the plan's going to change. The question is not whether something will go wrong. The question is whether you can stay composed long enough to keep making good decisions. Because a lot of people do not actually lose because the first bad thing happened. They lose because of how they reacted to the first bad

The Madden Interception Lesson

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thing. And that brings me to something that happened last night. My son Trinity and I were playing a game in our Madden Sim League. This is not just some random video game where we're messing around. This is a sim league where we play for money against other users and we take it very seriously. But in a sim league, you're not controlling the players once the game starts. You're not dropping back with the quarterback yourself. You're not using the linebacker. You're not making the tackle. You are making organizational decisions. You're building the roster, you're setting the team up, you're managing the philosophy, the personnel, the playbook, the structure, and then you have to watch the results play out. Which honestly makes it a pretty good analogy for business. Because in business, you do not control everything either. You can make the calls, you can train the team, you can build the systems, you can study the market, you create the offer, you can put yourself in a great position, but you still do not control every outcome. You do not control what the seller says, you do not control what the buyer does. You do not control the market. You do not control every algorithm, every employee, every lead, every response, or every variable. You control your preparation, your decisions, your standards, and your response. That's it. So last night, Trinity and I are in this game, and it's tied 21 to 21 in the final minute. We're driving down the field. We're even in field goal range, and the game is sitting right there for the take. All we really need to do is just protect the ball, run the clock, kick the field goal, and win. And then our quarterback throws an interception with about 30 seconds left. We were in field goal range. The game was right there on the line, the exact moment where most people would lose their mind. And Trinity and I did not flinch. We did not scream. We did not throw a fit. We did not start complaining about how horrible Malik Willis, our quarterback, is? We did not start acting like the whole game was over. Because what would drama have done for us in that moment? Seriously, what would it have changed? Would yelling have taken the interception off the board? Would complaining have helped our defense? Would being emotional have made us more prepared for the next snap? No. And that's where so many people miss it. They react like the game is over while there's still time on the clock. They turn one bad moment into the final verdict. They let one mistake steal the next opportunity. They're so busy reacting to what just happened that they're not ready for what could still happen next. So Trinity and I stayed calm. We watched the next possession. And with four seconds left, our stud defensive end, Trey Hendrickson, comes right off the edge, sacks the quarterback, forces a fumble, and we return it for a game-winning touchdown. That is when we reacted. Not when the interception happened, not when the situation became uncomfortable, not when we were disappointed. We reacted when the final play was over and the outcome was final. That is the lesson. Too many people want to spend all of their emotional energy before the game is actually decided. They want to panic during the drive. They want to complain while there's still work to do. They want to act defeated before the clock hits zero. And in business, that will cost you.

Discipline Beats Emotional Reactions

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Because business is full of moments that feel like that interception. You're in field goal range and the seller ghosts you. Make the next call, send the next follow-up, have the next conversation, review the comps, record the next video, lead the next meeting, solve the next problem, but not with drama, with discipline. That does not mean you don't care. Actually, I think it means you care more. Because when you care about winning, you do not waste energy trying to make the moment more emotional than it needs to be. You can serve that energy for execution. That is something I think people misunderstand. They think staying calm means you're not passionate. They think being composed means you don't care enough. The people who truly want to win are usually the ones who understand that emotional control is part of the job, especially in entrepreneurship. You cannot be the person who falls apart every time the business gets uncomfortable and then wonder why people don't trust you to lead the team. You can't create panic in every hard moment and then expect your team to stay steady. You can't let every seller objection, you can't let every failed deal send you into an identity crisis and then expect consistency. At some point, you have to grow out of needing every moment to feel dramatic. You are committed to the result, and the result usually requires you to stay useful after something goes wrong. That is what winning demands. In wholesaling, I see this all the time. Somebody gets a seller on the phone, the seller pushes back, and they immediately make it emotional. The seller says, your offer's too low, and now the wholesaler feels rejected. And then a week later, they find out that the seller had a death in the family, got in a car wreck, or had health issues. Now you realize your emotions and drama were unwarranted. But the people who do this at a high level do not move like that. They understand there is a natural attrition of deals lost and problems that have to be solved. So they just handled the next problem. And that's not glamorous, but it's what winning looks like most of the time. Winning is usually a lot less dramatic than people think. It's not always this massive emotional comeback with music playing in the background. Most of the time, winning is boring. It's composed and repetitive. It's doing the obvious thing without needing to turn it into a personal transformation every single time. And I think some people are addicted to the emotional version of success. They want to feel like they're in a movie. They want every hard day to mean something profound. They want every rejection to become this monologue. They want every mistake to become proof that the universe is testing them. Sometimes a mistake is just a mistake. A no is just a no. A bad day is just a bad day. A deal falling apart is just part of the business. It does not always need to become your new identity. Does not always need to become a three-day emotional spiral. The most powerful thing you can do is move on from that moment. Learn what needs to be learned, fix what needs to be fixed, then get back to work. That in and of itself

Leadership Requires Composure

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is a skill. Because the higher you go, the more important emotional control becomes. When you were just starting, your emotions mostly affect you. But when you're leading a team, building a company, raising a family, or trying to create something people depend on, your emotions start affecting everybody around you. Your panic becomes the room's panic. Your drama becomes the team's distraction. Your lack of control becomes someone else's uncertainty. That is why leadership requires composure, not perfection, composure. There's a difference. Composure does not mean you never feel anything, means your feelings do not automatically get to drive. You can feel frustrated but still speak clearly. You can feel disappointed and still make a smart decision. You can feel the pressure and still refuse to make the situation worse. It's a standard. And if you're an entrepreneur, wholesaler, leader, parent, athlete, or anyone trying to win at something, that standard matters. Because losing happens. Mistakes happen, bad breaks happen, interceptions happen. But losing because you could not control your emotions is different. Losing because you desire drama more than winning is inexcusable. That is the part we have to be honest about. They lose because they could not stay composed long enough to let the next opportunity show up. Think about the Madden game. If Trinity and I had lost our minds after the interception, the game would have kept going on. The next play still would have happened. The defense still had to take the field. The clock still had time on it. The opportunity still existed. But if you're emotionally checked out because something bad happened 30 seconds earlier, you're not ready when the opportunity appears. And that happens in business constantly. Seller says no, but they're not gone forever. The buyer backs out, but another buyer might still be available. A deal falls apart, but there may be a lesson that makes the next one easier. A video underperforms, but the next one may connect. A bad month happens, but the year is still being played. The problem is some people mentally quit while there's still time on the clock. They start sulking. They start blaming. They start making excuses. They start telling themselves the game is rigged. And that's how drama steals wins. Not all at once. It steals your focus. Then it steals your decision making. Then it steals your consistency. And eventually it steals results that were still available if you had just stayed in the game.

Stay Useful When Things Go Wrong

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So the question is not will bad things happen because they will. The question is can you stay useful when they do?