The Hardest Person To Lead

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If you’re new to my channel my name is RJ Bates III. Myself and my partner Cassi DeHaas are the founders of Titanium Investments.

We are nationwide virtual wholesalers and on this channel we share EVERYTHING that we do inside our business. So if you’re looking to close more deals - at higher assignments - anywhere in the country… You’re in the right place.

Who is Titanium Investments and What Have We Accomplished?

Over 10 years in the real estate investing business
Closed deals in all 50 states
​Owned rentals in 12 states
​Flipped houses in 11 states
​Closed on over 2,000 properties
​125 contracts in 50 days (all live on YouTube)
​Back to back Closers Olympics Champion
Trained thousands of wholesalers to close more deals

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Transcript

The Hardest Person To Lead

SPEAKER_00 0:04

What's going on everybody? RJ Bays III here, and it's Sunday. So I want to talk a little bit different today. Not about business tactics, not about money, not about how to win in the market. I want to talk about something that affects every part of life, whether you're building a business, raising a family, working a job, trying to get healthy, trying to grow spiritually, or just trying to become a better version of yourself. The hardest person you will ever lead is yourself. I know that sounds simple, but most of life proves it over and over again. It's easy to have clarity about everybody else. We can see what other people should do and what they should stop doing, where they're being immature, where they're being lazy, where they're making excuses. But when that same truth comes back to us, well, we get quiet. Because deep down, most of us already know where we're out of alignment. We know when we're procrastinating. We know when we're avoiding a conversation or when our attitude has been off. We know when we've been blaming people for things we still have the responsibility to heal from. And that's what makes self-leadership difficult. It requires honesty before it ever requires strategy. There have been seasons in my own life where I wanted the next level, but I didn't want the next level of responsibility. I wanted people to trust me, but I didn't always want to do the private work required to become more trustworthy. I wanted growth, but I didn't always want correction. And that's a hard mirror to look into. But that mirror is where growth starts. It's not in the quote that you post, it's not in the goal that you write down, not in how motivated you feel on a good day. Growth starts when you can sit with yourself and tell the truth without trying to negotiate your way out of it. I

Honesty Before Strategy

SPEAKER_00 2:14

didn't handle that right. I've been distracted. I let my emotions control the room. I keep asking for more, but I haven't been faithful with what's already in front of me. That kind of honesty can change your life, but only if you don't run from it. Because everything you're asking for is going to require a different level of you. A bigger opportunity will demand more discipline. Healthier relationship will demand more humility. A stronger family will demand more presence. A successful business will demand more consistency. A bigger platform will demand more character. And sometimes we're praying for things that our current habits are not ready to carry. That's not an insult, that's an invitation. It means there's another version of you that has to be built, not found, built. Built through small decisions that don't look impressive in the moment. Doing what you said you were going to do, telling the truth when an excuse would be easier. Getting back on track after a bad week instead of letting that bad week become your identity. Walking away from a pointless argument because peace matters more than proving a point. That's leadership. And I think we've made leadership too loud. We think leadership is a title, a stage, a company, a microphone, a room full of people listening to us. But some of the most important leadership moments happen in private. It's the moment before you respond, the moment before you quit, the moment before you blame somebody else, the moment before you repeat the same pattern and call it your personality. That's where self-leadership

Private Moments That Define You

SPEAKER_00 4:11

lives. Because if you don't lead yourself, something else will. Your emotions will lead you. Your ego, your fear will lead you, your past will lead you, your comfort will lead you. And when those things are in charge, you can be talented and still stuck. You can have vision and still sabotage the opportunity. You can have a good heart and still damage relationships. You can want a better life and still keep choosing the habits that hold you back. That's why self-leadership matters. It touches the version of you people experience when life is not going your way. Not the polished version, not the social media version, not the version that talks big when everything is going good, the real version of you. The one that shows up when you're tired, when you're under pressure, when you're disappointed, when you feel overlooked, when somebody says something that triggers something in you. That's when you find out who's really leading. Let me be clear: self-leadership is not perfection. Nobody gets it right all the time. I don't. You don't. Nobody does. Self-leadership is correction. It's the ability to recognize when you're off and not stay there. It's being humble enough to say, I was wrong. Before life has to keep teaching you the same lesson at a higher price. One of the most dangerous things we do is negotiate with the weakest version of ourselves. That part of us always has a reason. Start tomorrow. Stay mad. They're the problem. You've been through too much. You deserve to coast. Nobody understands. And some of those feelings may even come from real pain. The pain does not get to be the leader of your life forever. At some point, you have to stop letting the hurt version of you make decisions for the healed version of you. You cannot build the life you prayed for while being led by the habits you refuse to confront. I say that with love because I've had to confront it in myself. Sometimes the obstacle is not the market, the economy, your past, your family, your competition, or the people who doubted you. Sometimes the obstacle is your unwillingness to lead yourself through discomfort. That realization

Alignment, Inventory, And One Next Step

SPEAKER_00 6:45

can hurt, but it's also freeing. Because if the issue is inside of you, change does not have to wait on everybody else. You don't have to wait for perfect conditions to become disciplined. You don't have to wait for someone to apologize before you grow. You don't have to wait for everyone to believe in you before you start acting like your life matters. You can decide today. And the decision does not have to be dramatic. Sometimes changing your life starts with one quiet act of self-leadership. Getting up when you said you would, finishing what you started, putting the phone down when your family needs your attention, praying before you panic, taking responsibility for the mess you keep avoiding. Small things are not small when they start rebuilding trust within yourself. Because every time you do what you said you were going to do, something inside of you gets stronger. You start believing yourself again. That kind of confidence is different. It's not loud, it's not fake, it doesn't need to be announced. It's the confidence that comes from alignment, from knowing I'm not perfect, but I'm not lying to myself anymore. That is powerful. There are people connected to the better version of you. Your family needs that version. Your future needs that version. And honestly, you need that version too. Not the version that performs strength while secretly falling apart. Not the version that talks about growth but avoids change. The real you, the healed version of you, the steady version. The version that can be trusted with more because it has learned how to handle what is already here. I believe a lot of people are waiting on a breakthrough, but the breakthrough may be hidden inside alignment. Maybe the door is not something outside of you. Maybe the door is the discipline you keep avoiding, the apology you keep delaying, the boundary you need to set, the habit you need to break, the truth you need to finally admit. Maybe the next level is not waiting on more opportunity. Maybe it's waiting on you to become the kind of person who can carry the opportunity well. That's not easy, but it's worth it. So this Sunday, I want you to take inventory, not with shame, but with honesty. Where have you been letting life lead you instead of leading yourself? Where have you been reacting instead of responding? Where have you been making excuses that sound reasonable but are still excuses? Where have you been asking for more while avoiding the growth that requires more? Sit with that. Then pick one area to lead yourself better this week. Not 10, one. Your attitude, your health, your schedule, your prayer life, your communication, your consistency. Pick the place where you know the truth has already been talking to you. Because the goal is not to become perfect by Monday. The goal is to stop abandoning yourself every time it gets hard. The hardest person you will ever lead is yourself. But when you learn to lead yourself, you become steady, you become trustworthy, you stop being controlled by every emotion, opinion, setback, and every delay. You become the kind of person people can count on, the kind of person your family can lean on, the kind of person your future self will thank you for. So lead yourself first, and the rest follows. You guys have a blessed Sunday. Make sure you like today's video. We'll see you tomorrow.