Don't Negotiate Your Future

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If you’re new to my channel my name is RJ Bates III. Myself and my partner Cassi DeHaas are the founders of Titanium Investments.

We are nationwide virtual wholesalers and on this channel we share EVERYTHING that we do inside our business. So if you’re looking to close more deals - at higher assignments - anywhere in the country… You’re in the right place.

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Over 10 years in the real estate investing business
Closed deals in all 50 states
​Owned rentals in 12 states
​Flipped houses in 11 states
​Closed on over 2,000 properties
​125 contracts in 50 days (all live on YouTube)
​Back to back Closers Olympics Champion
Trained thousands of wholesalers to close more deals

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Transcript

The Self-Negotiation Habit

SPEAKER_00 0:04

Your biggest problem might be that you know exactly how to talk yourself out of everything you said you were going to do. You said you were waking up at 6 o'clock. Alarm goes off, and immediately the negotiation starts. I didn't sleep

Everyday Examples Of Renegotiation

SPEAKER_00 0:24

well. I'll get up at 6:30. I probably need the rest. You said you were gonna eat better. Then someone brings food into the office. Negotiation. One meal isn't going to matter. I've been good all week. I'll start again tomorrow. You said you were going to make a hundred calls. You get to 42, nobody answers. Couple people have told you to fuck off. And suddenly, 42 feels like a pretty respectable number. Negotiation. You said you were going to have the difficult conversation, but today does it feel like the right day? Negotiation. You said you were going to stop spending money, stop drinking, start working out, post the content, follow up with the lead, leave the relationship, start the business, finish the project, whatever it is, and then you did something really dangerous. You gave yourself permission to renegotiate the agreement. And you are a phenomenal negotiator when the person on the other side of the table is yourself. Because you know every weakness, every insecurity, every excuse, every justification. You know exactly what argument will work. And somehow you always seem to win.

Winning The Moment Losing Trust

SPEAKER_00 1:47

Except you don't. That's the problem. Every time you renegotiate a commitment you made to yourself, you might win the moment you get another hour of sleep, you avoid the uncomfortable call, you eat the food, you skip the workout, you save yourself from rejection. You feel better for an hour. But you're teaching yourself, my word is negotiable. And that is a difficult lesson to learn. Because eventually you stop trusting yourself. Think about that. If someone else constantly told you they were going to do something and then didn't do it, how long would you trust them? If one of your employees constantly missed deadlines and had a

Self-Trust As Real Confidence

SPEAKER_00 2:38

perfectly reasonable explanation every single time, would you consider them reliable? No. But we do this shit to ourselves constantly and then wonder why we lack confidence. Confidence isn't always about thinking more highly of yourself. Sometimes confidence is simply trusting that when you say you're going to do something, you'll actually fucking do it. That's self-trust. And a lot of people have destroyed theirs one tiny negotiation at a time. Not one massive failure, tiny ones. I'll do it tomorrow. I'll make it up later. This week's been crazy. I deserve a break. I'm just not feeling it today.

Feelings Are Terrible Leaders

SPEAKER_00 3:22

Be careful with that sentence. I don't feel like it because feelings make incredible witnesses and terrible leaders. You can listen to them, you can understand them, but they don't automatically get a vote. There are things I don't feel like doing all the time. There are videos I don't feel like recording, calls I don't want to make, conversations I don't want to have, problems I don't want to deal with, responsibilities I would happily hand to somebody else, probably named Cassie. But the question isn't always, how do I feel about this? Sometimes the question is, what did I say I was going to do? That question will change your

Discipline Ends The Discussion

SPEAKER_00 4:06

life. Because most people think discipline means forcing yourself to do miserable shit every single day. I think discipline is much simpler. It's refusing to reopen negotiations after the decision has already been made. That's it. You decided, why are we still discussing it? If you said you're going to go to the gym at 6, why are we having a board meeting with ourselves at 5 45? If you said you're making 100 dials, why are we evaluating your emotional state after call 37? If you said you were done spending money on stupid shit, why are you building a legal defense for a purchase you already know you shouldn't make? Decision made, meeting over. That doesn't mean circumstances never change. Of course they do. Sometimes plans genuinely need to change. Sometimes new information matters. Sometimes the intelligent thing is to pivot.

Discomfort Disguised As Flexibility

SPEAKER_00 5:07

But most of us know the difference between changing a decision because reality changed and changing it because we got uncomfortable. That's the part nobody wants to admit. A lot of your flexibility is just discomfort wearing a suit. You didn't discover new information, you got tired, you got scared, you got bored, you were rejected, you got hungry, you got embarrassed, and now you want different terms. No, there has to be a point where your word means something to you. Not because you're trying to become some robotic psychopath who never changes their mind, because your entire life is built on agreements. Agreements with your family, your employees, your customers, your spouse, your children, and yourself. And if your agreement with yourself is always the easiest one to break, eventually every area

Tiny Decisions Become Big Outcomes

SPEAKER_00 6:09

of your life pays for it. Because the workout you skip becomes your health. The calls you avoided become your income. The conversation you delayed becomes your relationship. The money you kept spending becomes your debt. The work you kept postponing becomes the businesses you never built. Tiny negotiations become enormous outcomes. That's what makes them so scary. They don't feel expensive in the moment. Five minutes here, one exception there, tomorrow instead of today, no big deal. Until you look backward and realize your life is basically the accumulated result of thousands of tiny agreements you either kept or broke. So maybe you don't need more motivation. Maybe you don't need another planner, another podcast, another book, another strategy. Maybe you just need to become harder to negotiate

Make Your Word Expensive To Break

SPEAKER_00 7:10

with. When you say you're going to do something, do it. Especially when nobody is watching, especially when you don't feel like it. When you can manufacture a perfectly reasonable excuse, because anybody can keep an agreement when keeping it is easy. Your character gets revealed when breaking it would be easier. So tomorrow morning, when the alarm goes off, and that tiny little attorney in your head starts presenting the case for another 30 minutes of sleep. Remember, you already made the decision. When it's time to make the calls and suddenly today feels like a bad day, you already made the decision. When you're tired, frustrated, embarrassed, scared, bored, or uncomfortable, you made the decision. Stop taking every commitment back to the negotiating table. Make fewer promises if you have to. Set better standards. Choose carefully. But once you give yourself your word, make it expensive to break.

Become Harder To Negotiate With

SPEAKER_00 8:17

Because one of the most powerful things you can become is someone who trusts themselves. Someone who knows if I say it, I do it. And once that becomes true, you become very difficult to stop. Because the person you used to negotiate with is no longer taking meetings.