Truth & Transformation

FEMININE POWER, ALCHEMY & TAYLOR SWIFT

• Kirsty Dee • Season 5 • Episode 42

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Big shifts need brave choices. We’re pressing pause to relaunch Truth and Transformation in spring 2026 with a cleaner, deeper format—and before we go, we’re unpacking the feminine power skills that change lives. Using Taylor Swift as a clear reference point, we explore how to turn pain into power, name what you truly want, and hold success without shrinking.

We start with alchemy: the practice of transforming backlash, shame, or heartbreak into fuel. Think of “snake” headlines becoming a stadium era—reputation as reclamation. That’s not luck; it’s craft. From there, we move into desire and vulnerability. When you admit you want more—love that cherishes, work that fits, money that supports—you stop leaking energy into denial. Owning the ache is confronting, but it’s the doorway to momentum, cleaner choices, and results that feel aligned rather than performed.

Then we lean into receptivity, the most undertrained muscle of all. Receiving praise, help, money, and opportunities without deflecting requires boundaries and discernment. Watch how a great performer can stand in silence and drink in 60,000 voices; that same capacity can be practised in everyday life by accepting compliments, letting support land, and saying a clean no to what isn’t for you. We also talk structure as a supportive container for feminine flow—systems that free creativity—and the role of adornment and beauty as devotion, not vanity: small rituals that pull you into your body and make your days feel richer and more magnetic.

If you’re ready to stop pretending you don’t care, to channel emotion into creation, and to welcome the good that wants to find you, this conversation is your nudge. Follow along on Instagram, Threads, or Facebook for the relaunch date, and visit kirstyd.com to join workshops or book a session. If this resonates, subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review to help the show return stronger than ever.

More from me at KirstyDee.com

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Welcome Back And Big Update

SPEAKER_01

This is season five of the Truth and Transformation podcast. This is a podcast all on living a life wildly authentic to you. It's raw, it's real, it's vulnerable, it's explicit, it's unedited. I'm your host, Kirsty D. Let's go.

Season Pause And Archive Plans

Fresh Start And Why It Matters

Setting Up Today’s Topic

Why Taylor Swift As An Example

Alchemy: Turning Pain Into Power

Vulnerability, Desire, And Creativity

Owning Labels And Reframing Shame

Desire Alchemy And Honest Yearning

Receptivity: Holding The Spotlight

SPEAKER_02

Hello, hello, hello, lovelies. I'm so excited to be back. Now, if you're a regular listener, you'll be like, Kirsty, you haven't been anywhere. You've been here every week. I think since April 2025 is when I started season five. But for me, I recorded the last lot in advance and took like three weeks off all over Christmas. And then I'm recording this the end of January. So I've had like a good six weeks off from recording. So it feels like I'm coming back, even though to you. There is no deference. But before I go into this episode, there is something really, really important that I need to tell you. So having that break, a lot of things came through. If you're a regular listener, you'll have heard me talk about like being in alchemy belly, trying to work things out and all of that. And I needed that break to decide like what to do next. And so I have something really, really important to tell you. This is gonna be the last episode for a little while. Season five is wrapping up, so you won't like see a podcast episode next week. But the podcast is not going anywhere, it is coming back. But there's something really important that I need to tell you. If there are any episodes that you want to listen to again, if there's any episodes that you've really loved, any episodes that you've really enjoyed, all the episodes are going to be going away. Not yet, you've got a little while, but I am going to be like not rebranding in terms of it's still gonna be truth and transformation, but I am gosh, I'm recording this before we enter the host yeah, still in the snake year. I am purging, I am shedding, I am letting some things go. So truth and transformation will be back. It is coming back in spring, but I am starting fresh. From when I started this podcast five and a half years ago, so many things have changed. I have changed, and there are so many things that I still believe in that are still me to my core, but there's just so many things that just don't resonate and don't feel right anymore. And so I've decided all of those previous episodes are going to be privated. I may at some point bring them back, but for now I just I want this, I just want like a fresh start, I want to bring some fresh energy into truth and transformation. So the podcast's not going anywhere. Absolutely love El Adore the podcast, definitely not going anywhere, if anything, going bigger. But there is gonna be a little break, and once that comes back, all the other episodes will be gone. They'll no longer, at least for a while, possibly permanent, you will not be able to listen to those things. So I needed to tell you that so that you know I'm not here next week. I will be back in the spring with the new podcast format and all of that. I'm really, really excited about it. I'm really looking forward to it. And if there is any episodes that you would like to listen to again, I know some of you like to binge this podcast, then you need to, you've you've got a little bit of time. This is going out in February, but there will be at some point. I haven't got a date for you, but this podcast will return, will be relaunched some point spring 2026. When that happens, you won't be able to listen to these anymore. So that includes this episode that you're listening to right now. If you're on social media, come and follow me on there. Because once I have a date for you, I will share it first on social media. Right. That's that. Let's go into this episode. So I thought for the final one to wrap up season five and to wrap up the current podcast and the current podcast format. Not that it's going to be changing massively, but there are going to be some little changes and tweaks and different different things. Um, but to wrap this up, I thought I wanted to do something like really just just fun, something that is just so me, but I also think has just shit loads of value for you. And I thought, let's talk about feminine power and the real kind of like superpowers of really, really um really nailing some of those superpowers. And I thought, let's do it in a really, really fun way that you can kind of like, oh yeah, I I like I really really see that. Because I think sometimes when you can kind of have a visual representation, it can really help something really, really land. So, what I thought we would do today is I'm gonna talk about Taylor Swift, whether you love her, hate her, feel indifferent, right? I want you to stay with me on this because regardless how you feel, I'm personally Swifty, regardless how you feel, she does embody these qualities like fucking masters them. I want you to be you, I want you to live your life authentically to you. But sometimes when we can have a representation, it can really help us kind of go, huh, and then we can do it in a way that aligns for us. And everybody fucking knows who Taylor Swift is, there's nobody that doesn't. So I thought if I could really kind of give you sort of some reference, and if you're not a Taylor Swift fan, but you kind of want to learn this, she's a real good person to kind of go and listen to you know, some of her interviews or listen to some of her songs. This isn't me trying to convert you to be a Swifty, it's about you kind of going, Oh, so you can make the switch because when you really, really embody these things, your life will change in the just the most beautiful, beautiful fucking ways. And sometimes it just kind of takes us to kind of see an example of that, where it can kind of go from this kind of like intellectualizing thing to this like embodiment because we're like, oh, I get it now. It's it's click now, and this kind of happened for me to be honest. I wasn't always a swifty, and then as I stepped into you know, my power mart and really started embracing my feminine powers. Of course, I became a swifty because I was like, Oh, I get it now. And every area of my life really started changing and really started alchemizing and really just confidence and everything, and like, you know, just feeling deeply fulfilled and knowing how to alchemize the areas of my life I didn't like. Like all of those things shifted. It was doing the things that weren't logical. So I'm gonna talk about the the skills that I mean, I feel like Telaswift masters all of these. She couldn't have her level of success had she not really nailed these, but there are some that she does better than others that she really just fucking nails. And I thought, let's talk about that. So the very first one probably comes to no surprise to you, is alchemy that I'm gonna talk about. You all know how much I fucking love alchemy, it is my favorite thing, and that also reminds me, I am doing an event this year, a collaboration event, um 1st of May. So if you're interested in an in-person alchemy event, check that out on my website. I'm also doing a workshop on the feminine superpowers, that's in March, March 21st in Blamford, in Dorset location to be decided for the the collaboration in May. But again, it will be it will be Dorset. So check all that out on my website if you would like to do workshop, feminine power, alchemy, that kind of thing with me. But to get back to it, alchemy, like to me, I I just feel like this is a skill every woman needs to learn. Every woman needs to master this. This is like so fucking important, and I feel like nobody does it better than Taylor Swift. Nobody does it better. I feel like she she just excels in this area. We've all seen it so many times. There have been articles wrote about her, you know, she has been chat on, you know, like I think about the time when it was like trending, you know, it was Twitter at the time, like I think it was I Hate Tell a Swift. Like I wasn't I wasn't a Swifty then, but I can just like imagine how fucking horrendous that whole situation must have been to just have that many people you know saying those things about you and that being trending. And we've seen so many examples of stuff like this, and she just always comes back, and again, whether you like her or not, as I say, I fucking love her, nobody can deny how much impact, how much influence she has, how much success she has, how much magnetism she has. Even when there are people out there who have hated on her, who have tried to take her down, even when people have successfully got her trending for people saying they hate her, she is like sold out like record amounts of things, you know, like the biggest grossing tour, like all of these things. Nobody does alchemy quite like Taylor Swift. She is the absolute genius of this, and this is this thing that we hear about all the time. Turn your pain into power. I really believe that if there's something in your life that you don't like right now, there is a shift that you can make. There is alchemy that can happen, there is power there. Because when we really don't like something, when something is really shit, or not even really shit, but it's just like, oh, I just want more. I just want more. I really believe because you that thing is so um visceral for you, wherever anything's like visceral, whenever there's a charge there, there is power there. And how you come about that and how you go about navigating that situation really makes the difference. So I think about when, you know, looking back on the times when she was hated and when that was trending, and people were calling her a snake and all of these things. What did she fucking do? She went away. She obviously did her processing, which we know she does via songwriting. So that's again a feminine superpower. It's like creativity. Often when I find people are not changing their lives, they don't have an outlet. They don't have a creative outlet. Everybody's creative outlet, get me different. Some people it's content creation on social media, some people it's writing, some people it's um, you know, whether it's writing stories or poems or songs, some people it's cooking, some people it's a a sport, some people it's building their business, some people it's really getting creative in their activism of like, how can we create change? But it's this creativity, and we see this so much with her work, and it creates the alchemy. Creativity is really it's using that life force within you, using that charge within you, using your emotions to and really directing them to what you wanted. So she took this situation, like being called a snake, and all of these things, and then she created the most beautiful alchemy, and she used that all as her branding. Like that became the reputation to her, like it's like it changed so many things, and that album is just like a fan favorite, like that is alchemy, that is alchemy, but it also requires something else, it requires vulnerability because if you listen to her albums, and not just like the hits that have like made number one and stuff, there are so many songs, and this is another superpower, it's vulnerability. There are so many songs, and a part of vulnerability is desire. Desire is literally the feminine superpower. This is why I bang on about desire so much. And desire and vulnerability go hand in hand with alchemy, like all of these things link with creativity, these are all like feminine superpowers. This is not like I'm gonna do this, and this is like logical, and this is the A to Z path. That's all masculine. The masculine is like structure, A to Z, logical, etc. etc. She didn't do any of that. She wasn't, she was just like, oh, they're calling me a snake, they're doing this, blah blah blah. She alchemized all of that and used it as her branding. Like it became her thing, it became part of like so many, so much of her her work, of her essence. Like, and I'm just like, that is fucking genius. You want to call me a snake? Let let me capitalise on this. I mean, I I just love it. I'm never gonna get tired of that. And I think about myself, if you listen to self and and sex temper, and as I say, it will be going away soon. So if you want to listen to it, you need to listen to it like you need to get on that. But I if you've listened to the episode where I talk about um like Sacred Slot embodiment, I can't remember the exact title, but it's Sacred Slot, something like that. Go back, go back and listen to that. I talked about how going from 17 being called a slot, that been used as a weapon on me. And now I have a fucking event next month called Wu Wa's Womanhood, and one of the archetypes we work with is the sacred slut. Like, we literally claim that word, and it's been so fucking powerful for me. Like, I fucking love that word now. That that's alchemy. Like the things that people have used against you, you can actually use to elevate your life, to make your life better, rather than people having like that power over you. But it's gonna require something, it's gonna require some vulnerability, it's gonna require some creativity, it's gonna require some stepping into your desire. It's gonna require you to admit when something hurts and when you ache for something. And one of the things she does really, really well is she's very vulnerable in her music. She uses vulnerability, she's not just like, oh, I'm trying to pretend that this doesn't hurt, I'm trying to pretend I'm not angry. Like, she doesn't do that in her music, and that's why it resonates with so many people, because there's an emotional alchemy that happens. You know, she she's got songs where she's clearly very pissed and very angry and like wants revenge. She's also got songs where she's pouring her heart out. There's that vulnerability there, but she also knows the difference between vulnerability and being vulnerable. Like, she has really, really learned to listen to her intuition and have discernment. Like, she talks all the time about how not everybody deserves access to you, but she's not closed her heart off. And the feminine leads from her heart, like she's so vulnerable and she's so raw. Like, I think of the song The Prophecy. And if you haven't listened to that song, I highly recommend you do because it's a really powerful song, even if she's not normally your flavor go-to for music. In that song, she's literally like, you know, saying to the universe, like begging the universe, like please, please end the prophecy. And she's talking about how she really just wants to be loved. That is such a vulnerable thing to say, you know, when you're somebody who gets so much hate and then being like, I really just want to find the wand, like I really, you know, I that's what I want. And now we see she's engaged, she's getting married, like all of these things. But she didn't pretend that she didn't care. She didn't kind of be like unbothered, like, I'm gonna pretend that I don't really care. She was like, No, I actually really want to meet somebody, and I keep thinking I've got it, and it's like taken away. Like she talks about, you know, lightning in a bottle and then it's gone. There's such like vulnerability in that song. And the other thing is she often often references witches because she's been called, you know, a witch like many times, and again, she uses that and she alchemizes that. And again, I can really relate to that. And I love the fact that so many of us are now like we've we're like, we are fucking witches, and we've reclaimed the word witch. Again, alchemy, I've now got an event next month where not only are we reclaiming the sacred slut, we're also reclaiming the witch. Or if you already, you know, identify yourself as a witch, it's like we're going deeper with that. But she does these things where in her music she will literally talk about these things. Like I think about anti hero, and in that song, she's like, you know, hi, I'm the problem, it's me. Because people always blame her. Um, she gets called a narcissist. Um, so she She talked about it in that song. She's like, Did you hear my covert narcissism? Like she's like, okay, I'm gonna use this. Like she fucking uses it. Like she doesn't try and kind of go, No, no, no, no, I'm not. Because that's being vulnerable and rather than alchemy. But instead, she uses that vulnerability and she creates fucking art. Like alchemy. Like she channels that. But you can only channel it if you're in touch with your desire, in touch with what you want. Like, she sings from such she like she writes music from this place of this is like what's coming up for me. And then she alchemizes the shit out of it. And I just really appreciate that superpower. You know, again, another song of hers that I love, like Mad Woman, you know, and like, gosh, how many times are women like called mad and crazy and all of that, you know, and she talks about it and she's like nothing like a mad woman and talks about, you know, other women also hunting witches. That is why her music is so big, because people are like, oh, I can relate to that. Like I've had women do that to me. She's not kind of going, oh, I'm unbothered, I don't care. She's literally challeng channeling it, like that creativity, creating alchemy. She is turning her pain into power. She is getting clear on her desires, and she she speaks about it. She doesn't kind of do this thing, and this is such a you know, a feminine superpower in a world where you're supposed to pretend that you don't want something, but she literally, that ache, she she sings about the ache. She sings about the the pain, like she writes about it. It's like the song All Too Well, the 10-minute version. Like, that's like my favourite song of hers. And I think about that line where she talks about you were so casually cruel in the name of being honest. Like, that's such a fucking vulnerable line, but like I feel like so many people can relate to that. Like, I know I can relate to that. Where people have been so fucking cruel, and they're like, I'm just being honest. You know, they might not have used those exact words, but she's not like saying, hey, I'm not bothered. Like, she is showing you that that hurt. She's not trying to pretend she doesn't care. And then she ends up getting the last laugh. Like, I feel like all those situations she probably doesn't give a shit about anymore. Why? Because she fucking alchemized it. And I think if you're listening to this, maybe there's a situation where they're currently or from the past that really hurt you. Or maybe you just want to up level your your life. Maybe there's a desire or something you want. When you are vulnerable enough to admit that to yourself, you don't have to admit it to the world. You have to like fucking write a song about it. But when you can be with that ache and you can really feel it, there is an emotional alchemy that happens. There's desire alchemy that happens. Like I talk about desire alchemy all the time because I think it's something every woman needs to get. I see women all the time, they're not really admitting what they want, they're pretending they don't care when they do care. Often they want more, but they're like telling themselves they can't have it. And it's like you get to believe you can't have it, but it but it doesn't take away from the fact that it's still there. And I'm a real firm believer in desire that you don't really admit to yourself to and you don't fully own, is way more problematic than the desire that you own. And when I say own, it doesn't mean you're necessarily going to go and act on it. But you you need to start admitting to yourself when you want more, when you desire more. I know for myself, whenever I get convicted in something, and it's often really uncomfortable, there's a vulnerability there where I admit to myself that I want something, that I care about something. There's a vulnerability there and there's an ache there, and there's something that I have to sit with. But every time I do that, something happens, something shifts. When I get that convicted and I kind of go, I fucking want this and I care about this, and I stop pretending I don't, woo. I just see alchemy starts happening. Manifestations start happening, right? Here's what always fucking happens. Either the thing that I fucking wanted, now that I've owned it, fucking manifests, right? Or it might not manifest straight away, something things start alchemizing. I get a step closer. Or there's a grieving that happens, and then after that grieving, something beautiful happens. Like, like it might be rough at the time, but it's like I I be with it and like I let the ache be there, and then there's a grief, and then after that, something happens, there's a there's a letting go hole, and then there's a freedom that comes. There's a freedom that comes. But I first have to stop pretending that like I have to stop being in denial. I have to stop pretending that I don't care, that I don't want it. When I admit that I want something, when I hold space for my desires, things always start changing, things always start alchemizing. And so often women tell themselves a story they can't have something, which half the time, to be honest, is not true. In fact, I would say 90% of the time, the story you're telling yourself, the narrative you're telling yourself is just that. There's always ways and there's always moves. But if it's generally something you can't have or something that wouldn't be in your best interest, when you admit it, something powerful happens in that. I like I tend to find that 99% of the time you will end up with something better that you could not have comprehended. Like I think about when she was writing those songs, she was probably yearning for somebody, but didn't end up getting them. But it's like from what we know, and we'll never know for sure, she's so much happier and so much more in alignment with you know Travis, who she's with now. Obviously, we'll never know for sure, but we damn well all know she wasn't aligned with those other dudes. My point is beautiful, amazing things happen when you are willing to be vulnerable and you're willing to own what you want, and you are willing to channel that. Alchemy will happen. Alchemy will happen. Right, I'm gonna have a drink and then I'm gonna carry on. So the next one I want to talk about, I feel like oh so there's three feminine skills that I talk about all the time. Alchemy, which we've already talked about, um, and desire, which we've already talked about. But there's one other that's also my my favorite. I have three favorites that I like to work with that I really like um women to work with, and then like intuition is is is part of it as well, that like kind of blends with all of these. Intuition blends with every one of these powers. But it's alchemy, desire, and the other one is receptivity. I feel like if you really start embodying these three skills, your life will change in the most beautiful, beautiful ways. Now, receptivity, she has this nails like at a level that I've never seen anybody else ever have to this level. You know, there's lots of you know other famous women in the world, but this is is in another level. Now, if you've watched the errors tour, you will have seen this. If you haven't, even if you're not a Swifty, I'd recommend if you can watch this tour just to see this, because there is there is magic and there is power in this. If you can, if you can watch this. So there's a there's a point where on the final error's tour, she is there's a point on the stage where she stood on the stage and like you know the the the crowd is cheering her. And obviously, I don't know how many there, I think it's like 60,000 people there. I don't know, I might have to figure wrong, but a lot of people there, right? And she stood on the stage, and she's just taking it all in, she's not saying anything, and this is I'm not talking like five, ten seconds. I mean, she stands on there and she holds and she fucking just receives it. Like you see her receiving and feeling the emotions and taking it all in. This is receptivity like no other. Can you imagine having that many people all looking at you, all like saying your name? Like most of us will freak out. How many times as women do we get a compliment and we want to brush it away and we feel uncomfortable and we're like, I can't, I can't, I can't take that in. Like, what will people think of me? They'll think you know, I'm too big for my britches, or whatever. How many times do we feel uncomfortable when people actually give to us the amount of women that I know if they get a gift or somebody offers to do something for them or gives them a comfort, they are so uncomfortable. Can you imagine when that many people are all looking at you and just standing there and just taking it all in? Honestly, if you haven't watched this, like I highly recommend because I'm just like, oh my gosh. And and she doesn't push it away, she doesn't go small, she doesn't cower, she just stands there and just like receives it all. But you know what's also really powerful about receptivity? You also have to have discernment, you have to also know what to not absorb. And she's really great with boundaries again, like she does things on her own timeline, so when that ended, people were expecting her to make an announcement, and she didn't.

SPEAKER_00

Like she waited before she announced the life of a short girl.

SPEAKER_02

Like she kept everything quite like again, think about her her masters and all of that. Alchemy that got sold from underneath her. She didn't pretend she didn't care, she wrote music about it, she did interviews about it, she re-recorded them, like she changed the industry.

SPEAKER_00

She ch she like she created alchemy in a way nobody else has ever done.

SPEAKER_02

But to do that, she had to be receptive. Can you see why I'm a fan? Because I'm just like there's this genius there that I just really respect. I just because I know those things don't come easy. That is somebody who's had to work on their stuff, that is somebody that's really had to master stuff, and I really just appreciate vulnerability. Obviously, this podcast called Truth and Transformation. I really appreciate, even if I might not agree, I really appreciate like raw truth. And actually, I listen to her stuff and I do find myself agreeing and like nodding, but even if I didn't, I would just appreciate the art of that. But I I do, I listen, and I'm like, uh-huh, uh-huh.

Boundaries, Discernment, And Agency

SPEAKER_00

I get that, that makes sense.

Personal Story On Receiving Attention

Magnetism And Aligned Action

SPEAKER_02

And and I know as a woman how difficult it can be to receive to to be honest, and to just stand in your power, and that part of the show might be like one of my my favorite parts, just because it the level of as I say, receptivity you have to have. Like I remember um when was it? 20 I think it was 2025, it might have been 2024. I'm no, no, I'm sure it was like spring 2025. Um out for a drink with a friend, and there was a group of lads, and like they were basically saying things to me, nothing bad, nothing, nothing rude, or anything like that. But one of them had had a drink and he was like, I I love you, marry me, and all of this. And they were harmless, they weren't like being dickheads or anything like that. But I can remember being like, like I looked away and I shrunk and I was so uncomfortable, but they weren't being intimidating. Now, of course, you can argue maybe they should have left me and my friend alone and all of that. And to be fair, they did actually. As soon as they saw me kind of go, oh, like sort of cower, they did, but I remember thinking, wow, I am so uncomfortable with this right now. Like I am so uncomfortable with that kind of attention. I'm uncomfortable with receiving it, and I'm also uncomfortable to be like, can you leave me alone? Like I just cowered. And I remember thinking, okay, we need to look at this and we need to to work on this. Because again, it's that discernment of like receive what feels good, but also if you don't like something and it makes you feel uncomfortable, like say. And this isn't again about like blaming myself and all of that, because I know some people will listen to this and be like, oh, you know, they shouldn't be doing that and kind of coming over, but I disagree to some degree, and what I mean by this is yes, we want men to be respectful and all of this, that goes without saying, but I also know so many women that are like, oh my gosh, like I miss the days when men would come up to us and kind of like you know, compliment us and all of that, but like I fucking want that, and so providing you know, people are being respectful and kind of all that, like I just think it's the saddest thing ever when we lose that, and yet I was so uncomfortable with it, and you know, of course, like I'm married and all of that, so I'm not look not looking, but it's like I didn't even feel like I didn't feel comfortable enough to like I saw myself kind of like Cara, and I was just like, But then there was this part of me that was like, oh, but it actually feels good, but I was so uncomfortable with it, and I've been in those situations where somebody's paid me a compliment or whatever, and I've really worked on this, I've really worked to get so much better at this, and there are situations where I'm so good at this, and I've really practiced on receptivity, but every now and again I see these situations where like I do not receive well at all, and I've really been working on that capacity of like receptivity and like receiving and like being in your body and like really absorbing what you want, but then also having the boundaries of being like, No, I don't want that. And I didn't have either of those in that situation. I didn't have the boundaries to be like, huh, thanks, but leave me to talk to my friend, but I also couldn't fully receive it. I was neither, and you need to learn to be able to do both, to be able to go, uh-uh, not into that, but also receive the things that you actually want. So, in that situation, for me, it would be like, oh, actually admit that it is nice to get that attention and all of that, receive that, but then also like set the boundary and kind of go, okay, leave me and my friend to it. But I did own to myself, I was like, that's actually it actually feels quite nice to, and again, it often does that vulnerability, you know, as women to not admit that it did feel fucking nice. I'm not gonna lie, to you know, to feel desired and all of that. And that was actually really beautiful, and it was really beautiful to own it. And when I've got a really great relationship with my husband and we're really secure, I actually told him about it, and like I said to him, like I admitted, I was like, oh no, but it actually was actually nice to get that, and just owning that, but for me, it was like I wasn't in my power with it, and for me it made me think, gosh, imagine if I was dating, like, and not being able like that can lead to really problematic places. Like, if you can't be receptive, you're not going to attract what you want to you, and obviously, I definitely have a level of receptivity, or that wouldn't, that situation wouldn't have happened. But what I mean is like being able to fully own it and embody it. But the other reason it can be really, really dangerous is that's when people can end up with people that are not that great because they cower rather than go, uh-uh, really struggling with the boundaries thing. And again, I can't say this enough. This is not about blaming ourselves uh as women, but it is learning that skill of receptivity, the skill to basically be able to receive what the fuck you want, to magnetize it to you. And you know, you want to talk about magnetism, look what Taylor Swift has done. Like she has magnetized to a skill that we haven't really seen before. So you need to be able to magnetize things to you, to be able to stand in one place without you having to do anything, and just by you living your life and creating your own art, however that looks for you, you draw things to you, and you are able to receive that. And for me, I've seen myself do this, and that's why I'm so fascinated with this because when I see myself not doing It, I'm like, okay, I want it, like, there's an area that I want to go deeper. That I've seen myself do this where I've got so convicted and so clear on something that I want and I desire. And without me even doing anything, I've drawn that thing to me. Like I'm off to a flame, I've been like, and like brought it to me. I've brought it to me. And sometimes I may also take action. But it will come from this place of intuition, this creativity, not this place of like, I'm doing the logical things, I'm trying to make it happen. No, no. It's like this intuitively feels like the move. And yes, we have the logical, we have the masculine structure. You know, like if you've watched the the Taylor Swift, the the docuseries that goes alongside the Aristotle, she has this will sort of the masculine structure so that she can drop into her feminine. Like, you know, she has a support team, they have plans, they have things in a diary, they have things they've got to the work to. But because all of that is there, she's then able to just drop into the creativity. And that's the thing. To really be in your feminine power, you do need a masculine structure, you do need a masculine framework. Like this podcast, there is a structure, like it goes out every Monday. Now there's a structure and there's a plan. It's like, okay, I'm pausing this, it's back in it's coming back in in spring 2026. There's things in place so that then I can kind of go, okay, let the full creativity come through. But you have to have those things in place for that to for that to happen. And for me, what that looks like when I see situations where like I'm not fully receptive and I'm not fully owning my desire, I don't come at it as this thing of like I've got to fix it and like all of that. That's not that's not alchemy. I'm like, huh, there's something there. And then from that place, then I can up-level things so that I can come about it in a way that's healthy and aligned for me. So in a way that I can receive things in a way that is not sabotaging towards me, but also um yeah, not sabotaging, not causing many problems, not causing many danger, but just also not suppressing it. Like not suppressing it. So, what did that situation tell me? It was like, oh, you wanna feel desired, like you wanna feel that. So, you know, I said to my husband, so like we've like really worked on to kind of create that dynamic more in in my marriage because I was like, you know what? Like, I never want to not feel that anymore. Like, no matter what age I am, I still want to always feel this like being desired and desiring. Like, I feel like that's such a beautiful thing, but it's like it's so fucking vulnerable. It's like it's so vulnerable to admit that. And often for for women it doesn't, it doesn't feel safe because there's so many times when it's hasn't been safe or it's or it's not safe. So again, we we have to have those boundaries there. But I've recently been um reading the book Once by um Jillian Anderson, and it's all like people's fantasies and stuff, and I'm reading this book, and it's it's fascinating. I I I am such a whore for like listening and learning about people's like fantasies and and all of that. Like I I love it, I find it fascinating, like because I really believe like our fantasies and stuff tell us so much about parts of ourselves we've had to suppress. And I think there's such a beauty in that. I don't know, I just feel like we've pathologized fantasies, and I think our fantasies are really highly intelligent, and they don't say anything about our moral compass, they just speak about things we've had to suppress. And I think when we can come at those from like a really um a different angle rather than making things like good, bad, right, wrong, healthy, unhealthy, not saying necessarily act on all your desires or all your fantasies, but the ownership of them, beautiful things happen, it's the the suppressing and all of that that causes the destructive behavior for yourself, for other people. So, as I say, I've been reading this book, and there's such a thing in there, the amount of women, because it's like all fantasies from women, you know, and there's such a um a theme in there of the amount of women that do just desire to be so fucking desired, but they can't admit that. You know, that's so seen as like that's so frowned upon, but they like that's what I really want, and that feels really good. And it's like I can relate to that. Like, oftentimes when I haven't wanted that, it's because I've actually been shut down because I've been frightened, because it's felt unsafe. So, what was really beautiful about this moment in the pub is like I caught myself and been like, oh, this actually feels nice. Actually feels nice, and also I'm uncomfortable with it. But also, there's there's an intelligence in this. This is telling me something. I just think however it looks, receptivity is so important. And it might look different to you. Maybe it's like the receptivity around um sisterhood, maybe it's the receptivity to create the opportunities you want in your business. Maybe it's to the receptivity to when to own that. I don't know, you want to be spoiled or whatever. Like owning that desire and allowing it to come to you. Like that was something I had to really work on. Like my husband fucking spoils me and treats me like a fucking queen. But like I had to become receptive to that. Like, I wasn't for a long time. I felt really uncomfortable with that. I certainly couldn't own that's what I wanted. I was like, oh, like society told me that was like narcissistic, that was me thinking too much of myself, like being full of myself. And now it's like, I want to be full of myself. Why would you not want to be full of you? Like, I think about my friends and the people that I love. I'm like, be be full of yourself, love yourself, babes. I don't want you to be like thinking that that you're not it because you are, you're fucking amazing. I fucking love you. I don't want you thinking shit about yourself. I want you to fucking love yourself, be full of yourself, know how awesome you are. And when I got to that place where I was like, uh, I am fucking awesome. I do want to be treated like a queen. Yes, please spoil me. That's when it happened. That's when it happened. And here's the other thing. Had it not, I had got so vulnerable and so clear and so thinking that desire, I know what it would have happened. My marriage would have dissolved, and that would have been a really beautiful thing, and I would have a fucking guarantee I would have attracted that into my life. I would have. Like I there was nowhere that that wasn't gonna happen.

SPEAKER_00

There was nowhere, like, there was just no room for that.

Structure Supporting The Feminine

Bringing Desire Into Relationship

Adornment, Beauty, And Devotion

SPEAKER_02

Like I was always going to be in a relationship where I'd be deeply adored and spoilt and tried like a queen. There was no realm where that wasn't gonna happen. Why? Because that's the power of desire, that's the power of alchemy. Something energetically shifts when you do that. And I think about that song, The Prophecy. She was with the ache and she was with all that. There was no way that when she did that and she created that energetic exchange that she wasn't going to manifest a man who was gonna be like, I'll I'll give you what you want. And not only will I give you what I want, I will enjoy giving it to you. It's gonna feel so fucking good. It's gonna be like win-win-win-win-win vibes. Receptivity. But receptivity can only come when you own what you want. And from a very young age, you know, there's documentaries and stuff on this where they said that was all she ever wanted. She just wanted to sell out arenas and play her music and write her songs, and then you see that's her, and like she's receiving it all. It's like she's like she's fucking done it. But was it easy? Was there alchemy to create? Yeah. Like, I mean, yeah, it wasn't easy for her. There was alchemy to create, is what I mean. It's like she has had like so many things like thrown at her, so many hard things that I just I think a lot of us would not get back up from. And she was like, Right, alchemy. Let's create alchemy. That level of receptivity, like, I don't know how anybody can not have a respect for that because that is some fucking bad bitch shit. You know, and again, vulnerability. Taylor Swift like talks about, she's like, I'm not actually a bad bitch. You know, she talks about that's not really my energy, that's that's like she might go into those things in in phases, but that's not really her natural kind of default, and again, her talking about that and admitting that there's such power in that, and there's more there's so many things that I could say here, but there's one last thing that I wanna talk about, which is such a feminine superpower that is literally she just immerses herself in, and that is adornment and beauty, and when I say adornment and beauty, I don't mean superficial things of like makeup and all that, and also I want to say something as well they are not superficial things, they're not superficial things, and also superficial things are very, very welcome in my world. But they're all um they're all judgments, they're all things we've been taught to look down on, right? Now, if you're somebody listening to this and you're like not really into doing makeup and and doing your hair and stuff, that's not what I'm saying. Like basically, what I'm saying is you don't have to do that. When I'm talking about beauty and adornment, I am talking about really you creating that in a way that aligns for you. So for some people it's making their homes beautiful, for some people it's art. But this is such a feminine thing that is like ancient of the power of adorning a space, adorning yourself. So whether it's with makeup, whether it's with a a body oil, whether it's with um a perfume or a spray, lighting a candle, there is something powerful that happens that isn't actually superficial. We've been told it's superficial, but it's actually about appreciating things and romanticizing things and wanting to make spaces beautiful and and again beautiful is is subjective, but there's a there's a care, there's a there's a reverence when you do that. And I know for myself, when I make the time to take care of myself, so for some people, this could look like you know eating a really nutrient diet, it could look like working out, and again, she had to get in really good shape for that to her. But it's like those things have all of a sudden become less than, and they've become superficial, and that is done on purpose to keep women, keep women down. Um to to look down rather than like, no, there is a there is a beauty to this, there's a richness, there's an aliveness. And you just think of that tour, and it's like you know, femininity on steroids, and it's like glitter and sparkles and makeup and all of these things that we have been taught is less than, and it's just there so unapologetically, and it's so beautiful, and not because you need that for something to be beautiful, it's beautiful because it's so authentic, and it's it's like a form of art, it's a form of expression. And when we can do that, when the we adorn ourselves with our maybe is with our clothes, or if you wear makeup with the makeup that you wear, or our homes, our lives become richer. When we take that time to really think about the details. And if you think about the show and everything, the details were there, the adornment was there, it was everywhere. And if you've ever walked into a really beautiful space that smells good, the fabrics are really good, it drops you into your body, it drops you into that receptivity, and it feels good. You feel love, it's like, oh gosh, they've really made the effort here. There's this indulgence that makes you feel like you matter, and she does that so well, she's like, This matters. And if you've ever got ready and gone on a date and stuff, you'll know that when you come from that receptive energy, it feels really good. When you come at it from this, like, I don't feel good enough, and uh what dress I'm gonna wear, and how am I gonna do my makeup and all of that? That that's that's not it. But if you've ever taken the time to just, I don't know, maybe do your hair or put a body oil on it or move your body or to listen to music, it's like this sacred like ritual, and it feels really good, and everybody wins from that. You win from taking the time, but also when it comes from that place, people feel that, like they feel it and they notice that, and it attracts people to you, and it feels really good, it feels this win-win-win. And as I said, this isn't about this doesn't have to look one way. Somebody could do this and not wear makeup, but they there's a there's an intention with how they get ready, there's an intention to their energy as they walk into a room. There is this devotion. That's what it comes down to. There's a devotion to the moment, there's a devotion um to the thing that they're they're doing, the thing that they're showing up for. There's this real devotion there, and devotion changes so much. It goes from, oh, I have to do this, I should do this, this masculine discipline, to I'm connected to myself and my heart, and this matters. And I I want to make the time, there's a as I say, appreciation, there's there's a gratitude, there's a receptivity, there's an aliveness, there's a richness. If you bring more adornment into your life, you will feel richer. You will feel richer. Whether it's like a dormant with your body, a dormant with your home, bringing a dormant into like if if you do events, like if you ever come to one of my events, there's an adornment. You know, like women's circles, there is, there's an adornment where I'll, you know, create the space, we'll light a candle, there'll be oracle cards. We're not just like sat, you know, in this like corporate kind of, you know, thing. It's like, no, no, no, like there's an intention here, there's there's adornment here, and it creates this deep replenishment and this deep, deep, deep, deep, deep soul nourishment. It's just it's just it's just beautiful. If you're able to, come to one of my events. If you're not able to, book a one-to-one session with me. But for now, this is goodbye to the podcast for for now, last episode for a little while. There's lots of exciting things um that that I'm up to. So if you're not already, do make sure you're following me on Instagram, threads, Facebook, go on my website, all the links are on my website. Um, so you can find me there. And as I said, if you want to work with me, go to curstd.com. The the details will be in the show notes. And I look forward to chatting to you again on the podcast in spring 2026. Oh, it's gonna be good. It's gonna be so fucking good. Make sure you come back to the podcast then. Have the most wonderful day or evening, depending when you're listening to this.