S5. Ep 11. Two Gays and the First Gay Kiss

Season 5: Episode Eleven. Benji and Brad bare all as they share stories of their first kissing experiences. The boys also talk about what their weddings would be like and Brad reveals what happened to him at this year’s Mighty Hoopla festival in London.

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A special shout-out to all our FWB this month! Your support for the show is so gratefully appreciated.

All the big gay love x

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Transcript

Speaker 1 0:18

Hello and welcome to this week's episode of My Big Gay Podcast with me, benji.

Speaker 2 0:22

And me, Brad, giving you the life, the loves and loves of living in London. Two gays, one city. What could possibly go?

Speaker 1 0:30

wrong. Do you know what I have noticed? when we say what could possibly go wrong, it's like we sound really happy about it.

Speaker 2 0:38

I think it's our whole life goes wrong all the time. We're just used to it. It's normal life If it goes right. That's when I start to worry.

Speaker 1 0:45

Speak for yourself. But I do wonder. I'm always like what could possibly go wrong, Like as if that's actually how I sound when my life is falling apart in front of me. So what?

Speaker 2 0:55

happens when your life is one big calamity like mine and yours?

Speaker 1 0:58

Oh my, goodness, my week, the last two weeks, lonely, lonely, lonely. Oh my gosh, so lonely.

Speaker 2 1:14

Because you've been at a lot of weddings. I feel like you've been at weddings every single week lately.

Speaker 1 1:18

I have. I've been to two weddings back to back on Saturdays, But not only were they just weddings, they were my sister's wedding and then my best friend's wedding. So two more influential people from my life leaving me for their loved ones Better halves. Yeah. I wouldn't say better halves necessarily, but yeah.

Speaker 2 1:36

Oh drama tea.

Speaker 1 1:39

Well no, but they're my sister and my best mate. I'm not going to say their other half is better than them.

Speaker 2 1:44

Oh, i've never actually thought of that phrase in that way before their better half. Oh yeah, that's actually a bit rude, isn't it? But how many times have I?

Speaker 1 1:49

told you to think before you speak.

Speaker 2 1:52

Too many. They get into so much trouble because I don't do it Literally podcasters we go into meetings.

Speaker 1 1:56

I'm like right, let me do the talking.

Speaker 2 1:59

You just sit here and be pretty.

Speaker 1 2:01

Sit there, smile and try just to be pretty. Put a hat on, cover your hairline.

Speaker 2 2:15

Oh my God, you two made me laugh. You two made me laugh.

Speaker 1 2:20

Oh God, so bad.

Speaker 2 2:21

So hang on back to these weddings. You've had two massive weddings, So did you bring a plus one? Where was my invite? I?

Speaker 1 2:27

could have been your plus one. Okay, so absolutely not. No, i didn't take any plus ones, it was just me. I mean to be fair for my sister's one. we had all the family fly over to the island So I was so busy sort of, with them. I'd do the family thing, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 1 2:46

And then I was like I'm going to be in Jersey, haven't you? Yeah, luckily they were both in Jersey, back to back. She did help with things, So I was seeing them. I didn't really I mean, could I have brought a plus one? I was offered one, I just chose not to take anyone.

Speaker 1 2:59

Flying solo Literally story of my life. And then for my best friend's one, i was actually a bridesmaid. Oh wow, that's cool. Yeah, i mean, obviously I revered it as a bridesman. But the cute thing is I had a little card saying like will you be my bridesmaid? And inside it was. She was sent a lovely little message, which I won't bore you with because I don't think I can emotionally read it again, because it was beautiful.

Speaker 2 3:25

But she did.

Speaker 1 3:25

I know it was really cute. She was like nothing will make me prouder than having you stood up there with me, like when I'm getting married And as my bridesmaid you can wear whatever you want, even if it's a dress. I was like that's cute, that's really sweet. Yeah, i mean, obviously I did not wear a dress but I did wear a dress and I was like.

Speaker 1 3:45

I don't know if Jersey is ready for a male bridesmaid, but you know what? I'm going to give it to them, and I'm going to give it to them in a pink linen suit. Love that love that.

Speaker 2 3:55

Do you have two different outfits or did you just recycle the same one? What do you think?

Speaker 1 4:02

Two different ones, OVS. Thank you. My sister's one was like a beautiful sage, green and then for my best friend, it was pink.

Speaker 2 4:08

Oh that sounds really nice. Which was the better wedding? You have to answer, I'm not doing this. They're both equally amazing.

Speaker 1 4:22

So they both had different wonderful qualities?

Speaker 2 4:29

This is a really horrible question, but I think Whatever your answer is, I'm going to snip this up and send it to the other person As a sound bite. Just drop it in their email, Yeah.

Speaker 1 4:38

I think I would say if I was to choose one of them to have for my own wedding, I probably would choose the same wedding as my best friend.

Speaker 2 4:46

For what reason?

Speaker 1 4:47

It was all set in this ancient ground in Jersey. They've traced it back to like 5,000 BC or something. It was really old, wow, and it was all in the grounds. there's really old chapel on Little Hill and she had these. Just imagine like, i think like Pocahunter style slash, you know, in Peter Pan when they go visit the Red Indians, which actually I think about it. I'm not sure how acceptable this is, but you know how they drew the little like the teepees.

Speaker 2 5:17

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 5:18

So it was like that, but there were three massive teepees kind of joined together and it was all based inside there. but the wedding ceremony happened outside and she just filled the place with flowers, like they were just everywhere, all different types of wild flowers, like so many colors, but we were all dressed in like different pastels. It was just. It was like a woodland fairy land fantasy. It was stunning.

Speaker 2 5:43

Oh, I'm definitely getting that vibe. It sounds really nice.

Speaker 1 5:46

It was lovely, but my sister's wedding was also beautiful as well.

Speaker 2 5:49

Oh, I'm not having that now. I can't let that out. Yeah, teepees, sister Benji.

Speaker 1 5:55

But yeah, i've never felt more single in my life. I'll be really honest with you. But hey Ho, there was lots of free wine, so I don't love you all the time Great.

Speaker 2 6:03

I had a gay old time.

Speaker 1 6:04

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha ha. What's that from?

Speaker 2 6:09

Flintstones Oh yeah, Flintstones, I love Flintstones. Have a gay old time.

Speaker 1 6:15

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha ha, that's actually what goes on in my head all the time?

Speaker 2 6:18

Ah, blimey.

Speaker 1 6:21

I've got another question for you.

Speaker 2 6:22

Actually. Now we're talking about weddings Question Would you ever get married? Oh gosh.

Speaker 1 6:29

Do you see that?

Speaker 2 6:30

in your life. Is that something that you're like oh, i definitely want to have that moment. Or are you a bit like take it or leave it?

Speaker 1 6:37

Or are you definitely? no, i feel like this is a longer discussion And these episodes are only supposed to be 35 minutes long, this is a very p-session for you right now? Yeah, it is. I think for me it's not the be all end, all at all.

Speaker 2 6:50

I also agree with that too.

Speaker 1 6:51

yes, I haven't been planning my whole life. I don't like base my life on needing to get married before I can start my next chapter. I don't see that being integral in my future or in my happiness. But if I do find somebody, i want to celebrate that with them and they want to get married. I probably will make that commitment in front of all my friends and family, but I would keep it quite small. I don't have any interest in a big showoff wedding. I have nothing against them. I love going to them, but for me I just you know what I'm like I would rather have just really intimate with the people that I absolutely like on my ride or dies, and just celebrate with them. Who knows?

Speaker 2 7:33

No, i think that's really nice. I think I'm on the same page as you, because I do feel like in the straight world obviously we're not from that world, so we don't know for sure But I think there is a bit of a culture of you get your 20s and then you have to find someone to marry, because then you don't want to get too old, because you want to have kids before your 30. There's been a bit of a generational I don't know blueprint is that the word To describe it of like what to do or the norm to do, but I think with gays we just make our own rules up. It's our own culture. There's no kind of way of doing things And, if anything, we always do things differently because we are different.

Speaker 1 8:13

For sure. I think we've only had our freedom for a very small amount of time. When you compare it to heterosexuals And you're right, i think a lot of females that want to have children, they really struggle with the timeline of sort of their body, yeah, and after a certain time they might not want to put their body through having children, etc. So I think that's what's always based off. But I think, as we move forward, yeah, i think gay people are like look, do we really need to rush into it? Like we can literally get married whenever you want.

Speaker 2 8:43

Yeah.

Speaker 1 8:44

Yeah, i think. I think it's all. It's all changing, isn't it? And like we used to get married, used to be committed to each other, but now people can get married and have polyamorous relationships. They could have open relationships Like it's all, i think. As long as everyone's happy and legal, i think it's all fair game.

Speaker 2 9:01

I totally, totally agree. Yeah, have you ever been to a gay wedding?

Speaker 1 9:04

No, never.

Speaker 2 9:05

I have been to a gay wedding and a lesbian wedding which was better.

Speaker 1 9:10

You did it to me.

Speaker 2 9:12

They were both pretty good. Oh, i'm going to be, i'm being that person on.

Speaker 1 9:15

Sorry, rerun the tape. But when you literally said to me I've used they, they're both the same.

Mighty Hoopla and Wedding Plans

Speaker 2 9:22

I think maybe the gay wedding was a bit more wild And you know me, when I've had a few proseccoes I like to get a bit wild And that was like all the gays on the dance floor dancing to cheesy pop And that was very much my vibe, yeah. So, I probably said the gay wedding. And if I do get married, that's probably what my wedding is going to be like. Yeah, do you think you're a big?

Speaker 1 9:42

one.

Speaker 2 9:42

I don't know about big. I actually think I'd want to get married abroad because I want to be in the sunshine And I think the UK is too unpredictable for weather. I don't want to spend thousands of pounds and then be rained all day. That would be awful. I want to be, you know, mum and me, and they get married on that beach. I want to mum and me a wedding.

Speaker 1 10:00

Boo-lay-boo 100%. I want to sing Abba while I'm walking down the aisle. Literally I'm not coming.

Speaker 2 10:10

It's going to be amazing. A gay mum and me, a wedding, that's what I'm going to have. I mean, well, he's fine Someone to get married to first. We're working on that. We're working on that, yeah. Let's have this discussion once you find that person, but now I don't.

Speaker 1 10:23

I'm not against marriage. It all depends what Tom Daly wants to do. If he wants to have one, I will happily say do you know what, Tom? Tom Daly, my future husband, absolutely fine, We can have a massive wedding, It's fine.

Speaker 2 10:35

Well, Tom Daly, if you're listening, the proposals happened right here. Just wait for your answer. All right, hon.

Speaker 1 10:41

And I know you're already married, but I really don't mind doing it again with you, right? Sorry, i can't get onto this next section until we tell people your new mic check. Look, Some podcast is. Every time we record a little section, we come back and we do another very, very small mic check And Brad has started singing the following Rock it by the mic, check One, two.

Speaker 2 11:10

Do you remember that song? We're back in the day.

Speaker 1 11:14

Yeah, it's like it's every time we come back like a little refresh. then it's silence and all I hear is rock your body mic, check one, two, i don't know why that's come into my head recently.

Speaker 2 11:27

I think maybe because it's like summer playlists are happening. Always reminds me of summer, that song.

Speaker 1 11:30

Yeah, oh, my goodness, it's cracking me up Speaking of summer playlists you've been very busy.

Speaker 2 11:37

Last weekend, a mighty hoopla, Oh my goodness, last week I basically went to Gay Heaven. I think that's what Gay Heaven is, because not only did I go to mighty hoopla, which was two day full on queer festival, yeah, i went to saw Beyonce like two days before that as well.

Speaker 1 11:52

Blimey, you really have been living at Gay Proper gay this week.

Speaker 2 11:55

I love it.

Speaker 1 11:56

So, come on, who was that mighty hoopla?

Speaker 2 11:58

Oh, too many to even remember them all really. But the ones that I really loved Venger Boys classic No, you love those two. Oh, boom, boom Aqua.

Speaker 1 12:09

Did they do Barbie girl?

Speaker 2 12:10

Of course they did, and everyone was singing. Oh, it was the best.

Speaker 1 12:13

Do you know what? as well, with the new Barbie movie coming out, they're probably like great. Our careers are about to spark right back off again.

Speaker 2 12:19

Yeah, their royalties are going to go through the roof.

Speaker 1 12:22

Honestly.

Speaker 2 12:23

Yeah, yeah, cool. So Aqua there, jamilia. Do you remember Jamilia? Of course, yeah, dangers, but one of my faves obviously was Natasha Beddonfield. God, i love her so much.

Speaker 1 12:34

You love her. You put her in all your playlists.

Speaker 2 12:36

I've never I really, really like her, And being with like 30,000 other members of the queer community all singing unwritten like that was a really special moment for me, because I just love that song. The lyrics really resonate with me, So it was just like a moment. I was like I've got to cherish this memory forever.

Speaker 1 12:55

I can just imagine you stood there like eyes watering, like hand on heart, like singing your heart out.

Speaker 2 13:00

Yeah, it was amazing. Honestly, i had the best, best time. And if you went to Hoopla, i'm sure you also are riding the wave that I'm on right now, like how amazing was it. And if you've not been to Hoopla, i really, really recommend it because it's such a great atmosphere and it's so. Everyone just dresses up in like glitter and sequins and feathers and just accepts everyone. There's no kind of like weird feeling there at all. It's just like a big festival of like queer love, basically.

Speaker 1 13:25

I mean other music festivals are available. We are not sponsored by Mighty.

Speaker 2 13:29

Hoopla? No, we're not, but we just love it. Well, i love it personally. I think it's great.

Speaker 1 13:32

One thing I would like to address is the elephant in the room, and it's a comment that I saw on one of the Mighty Hoopla posts about all bottoms meet at the Portleys at 4pm.

Speaker 2 13:45

Oh yeah, so they have like an app, don't they? So if you're going, you can like post a group, like hey, let's all meet here, or whatever. And yeah, there is a bottoms group.

Speaker 1 13:54

Uh-huh.

Speaker 2 13:55

I saw you were there scouring, like, looking through, like who's my boy for tonight?

Speaker 1 14:01

No, i did not make it to Mighty Hoopla, did. I wish I was there, just for that moment Perhaps, but I was. I was far too busy in my pink suit.

Speaker 2 14:12

You were. You were at the wedding, weren't you? Yeah, you were very missed, because I know how much you also love that kind of cheesy pop. Right, it's a Vengerboy's Aqua, yeah.

Speaker 1 14:19

I love it. Yeah, i love it, i love it, but I've got so many prides booked in for this year I'm going to get my fix.

Speaker 2 14:26

I know I am, you definitely will, definitely will, yeah, but I do have a couple of stories to share with you. Obviously, of course you do, because there's always adventures and experiences.

Speaker 1 14:34

Before you start disclaimer are any of these going to get us into legal trouble?

Speaker 2 14:38

I don't think so.

Speaker 1 14:39

Mm-hmm, that doesn't fill me with confidence.

Speaker 2 14:44

No, honestly, i was actually on the fairly good behavior overall, i would say, this year. So you know, i've grown up, i've matured. Season five Brad has gone to his next era, which is the mature era.

Speaker 1 14:56

Wow.

Speaker 2 14:59

I'm trying to, anyway, i'm trying to.

Speaker 1 15:01

Bless, go on, then hit me with them.

Speaker 2 15:03

Okay, so obviously I hosted pre-drinks before.

Speaker 1 15:06

Obviously.

Speaker 2 15:06

Because I live like 15 minute walk from the park, which is amazing, So I can all walk down there and got quite, quite married at the pre-drinks, And so when I went in, there was a shop that was selling like festival clothes And of course, the glittery sequins caught my eye And I ended up purchasing a pink glitter cape, which I then wore for the rest of the day and lived my best life.

Speaker 1 15:30

How did I not see this on any social media?

Speaker 2 15:33

Obviously, all my friends like split off, sketched the bar, go to do whatever, But I saw this pink glitter cape, came and found it on the lake. What have you just bought? I don't know. it looks really fun. I was just like spinning around in the field with it.

Speaker 1 15:44

Okay, how much did you spend on it?

Speaker 2 15:45

£45.

Speaker 1 15:46

What a cape.

Speaker 2 15:47

I think that is an investment well spent, to be honest.

Speaker 1 15:50

Did it make it back home with you?

Speaker 2 15:52

Yes, but unfortunately not my bank cards or my driver's license did. Lost them all. Lost them all. They're in the field somewhere.

Speaker 1 16:01

What You lost them? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, were they just loose in your pocket?

Speaker 2 16:04

No, they was in my phone, like I'm in my phone wallet.

Speaker 2 16:08

Oh yeah, on my case And basically where I was quite drunk, kept dropping my phone so many times people were like Hey, is this your phone? Oh yeah, there it is on the floor again. So during all that I lost two of my bank cards and my driver's license and my Easter card gone. But so I only booked on for day one of Hoop Blast, a two-day festival, and after last year I was like I cannot do two days in a row, i'm not going to put myself through it. So I only bought the one-day ticket. Everyone was trying to convince me to go two. I was like one day for me, i'm going to go big and then have a day off. But the week of I got a bit of phone mode, didn't I, Of course? So I entered a competition that would give away free tickets for the Sunday, the second day, and I won. So I went to the day two. Oh, my goodness.

Speaker 1 16:55

How did you win?

Speaker 2 16:55

them.

Speaker 1 16:56

What did you have to do?

Speaker 2 16:57

It was the Clapham Grand. They were giving away X amount of free tickets And you had to write an answer as to why you deserved free tickets.

Speaker 1 17:04

Oh my goodness, what was your answer? I can't afford them.

Speaker 2 17:11

Basically, I said something like it would be a social injustice if I'm not there for the second day Because I like to get the party started and the DJs will enjoy me getting the dance for going.

Speaker 1 17:23

Wow, the next Dickens Wow.

Speaker 2 17:30

Well, it's still got my free ticket, didn't I?

Speaker 1 17:32

Yeah, it's true, it's true. No, well done, that's good, that's good.

Speaker 2 17:34

Thank you. Thank you. So luckily on the second day I went to the Lost and Found like 10 and some lovely nice person had handed in my bank cards.

Speaker 1 17:44

Oh, wow.

Speaker 2 17:45

That is so nice. That's what I mean. It's such a lovely festival, like everyone that goes there, just like nice people, because they're all part of the queer family.

Speaker 1 17:51

Do you reckon they tried to use it realize it was already getting declined because there was no money on it? I thought, wow, i might as well give it back.

Speaker 2 17:56

Like shit. We've just inherited all this debt. We need to get this card back now.

Speaker 1 18:00

Throw it away. Throw it away.

Speaker 2 18:02

Yeah, no, because I said when I got back I was like, oh God's sake, like lost my cards. So I froze them because I thought, well, if some nice person does hand them in, I don't want all that hassle, you know, like having to get a new card, blah, blah, blah. So I froze them, knowing that I was going to go back, And then when I went there they were there. So, thank you so much. Whoever handed in my bank cards, I wish you luck and love and fortune for the rest of your life, because you deserve it, honey.

Speaker 1 18:27

I'm sure they're listening.

Speaker 2 18:28

I'm getting on there.

Speaker 1 18:29

Great, did you get your driving license back?

Speaker 2 18:32

No, i've lost that. So that's actually really annoying because I do not want to take my passport out on nights out because I will lose it. Oh yeah.

Speaker 1 18:40

I will lose that. We'll just get a new driving license. Yeah.

Speaker 2 18:42

But it's a faff, isn't it? That's not going to come in like a few days, because we're going to Brighton for like a gay birthday in a few days time. So I need ID for Brighton.

Speaker 1 18:50

I'm actually really excited about Brighton.

Speaker 2 18:51

I'm excited about Brighton.

Speaker 1 18:53

I love Brighton, I do. I do plan to be drunk from around midday.

Speaker 2 18:56

Yeah, well, we're obviously going to be drinking on the train. It's one of our friends, 30 Fs How exciting He's joining the 30s club. And yeah, we're doing a day trip to Brighton.

Speaker 1 19:04

I can't wait to join the 30s club.

Speaker 2 19:06

You've been there for a long, long time, not as long as you.

Speaker 1 19:10

You are comfortably in the 30s club. I am You're almost leaving the 30s club.

Speaker 2 19:18

The club has ended for me.

Speaker 1 19:21

The club won't let you in anymore because you haven't got any ID.

Speaker 2 19:27

Yeah, What we're going to do obviously like want to go in all the gay bars of you on Saturday.

Speaker 1 19:31

So yeah, take your passport.

Speaker 2 19:32

But I'm going to Venice the following weekend, so if I lose my passport, that means I cannot go to Venice. Can you see the like chaos and dilemma and the calamity that I'm in right now?

Speaker 1 19:42

Oh my goodness, just like. chain your passport around your neck.

Speaker 2 19:44

Yeah, do not make me lose my passport. I'll be so angry with you Make you lose it.

Speaker 1 19:49

You don't need making You lose things all on your own accord.

Speaker 2 19:52

Next note. You're like oh, i've got another round of shots And before I know it, there I am in the gutter. Yeah, I mean all my belongings will happen. You've got a driver's license, right, you drive.

Speaker 1 20:00

I do.

Speaker 2 20:00

Did you pass first time? I did Me too. How good are we?

Speaker 1 20:04

Did you pass your theory first time? I did, did you? I did not.

Speaker 2 20:08

Oh, so on paper, technically, I'm a better driver than you.

Speaker 1 20:11

Do you even own a car?

Speaker 2 20:13

No, i've not driven a car since I passed my test, like seven years ago, oh my goodness.

Speaker 1 20:18

Yet you still carry your driving license. Well, did you just carry your driving license around with you?

Speaker 2 20:23

It's stuck in a field somewhere.

Speaker 1 20:25

So literally somewhere, you are face down in the mud. Yeah, literally, yeah, wow, yeah Well if that same person is listening and you have kept his driving license for whatever reason, please do return it.

Speaker 2 20:37

Please Need that for Brian.

Speaker 1 20:39

Also, if you didn't get your driving license back, that must mean that you had been like scattering your cards all over the field, because if they'd fallen in the same place as your bank cards, there's no reason why they would keep your driving license over a bank card. So do you think you've just been like Gleefully scattering all forms of documentation and stuff around Brockwell Park?

Speaker 2 20:59

Yeah, that's exactly what happened. So when I got in, i was like I've lost all my cards, i've lost all my ID, i've lost my Oyster. I've also lost a shoe, but I do have my pink glitter cape. So life is good.

Speaker 1 21:12

Sorry, rewind, you lost a shoe.

Speaker 2 21:14

I lost a shoe as well. I don't know how, but I went on one of those spinny fairground ride things, so maybe it fell off then. I can't quite remember, i was very drunk.

Speaker 1 21:20

So you walked home with one shoe.

Speaker 2 21:22

For the last bit, i think. And I did the roller disco drunk as well. And could I stand up on the roller skates? No, not one little bit. So I basically crawled around the banister drunk on roller skates, and I thought I'm going to be on the crutches again in a second. I need to get out of here now.

Speaker 1 21:41

Oh my gosh, you, you, i Yeah.

Speaker 2 21:46

And also funny story. So obviously I went back to second day and second day I was way more calm because I actually had work the next day, so I cannot go crazy again today. So I took a bit gentle and I met someone who listened to the podcast. They recognized my voice, came over and they're like oh, i thought you'd be far more drunk than this. I was like you should have seen me yesterday.

Speaker 1 22:07

Honey, i haven't got my shoe, I haven't got any of my bank cards Yeah. But don't worry, i've got my pink cape.

Speaker 2 22:15

Exactly, exactly.

Speaker 1 22:16

Wow, i can't wait to see this pink cape.

Speaker 2 22:18

I might wear it to Brighton on the weekends. Watch out, lads, if you're in Brighton, oh, my God, just watch out Brighton.

Speaker 1 22:26

Seriously, this is a final call for Benji and Brad traveling to Jersey for Channel Island's pride. Oh mate, hurry up, we're going to miss the flight.

Speaker 2 22:46

Benji, I can't run in these Espa drills.

Speaker 1 22:49

Gosh well, what a shame it'll be for them to get left behind. Look, just put that book down and hurry up.

Speaker 2 22:55

It says here that Jersey has over 30 beaches and is the sunniest place in the British Isles.

Speaker 1 23:01

Yes, and we won't get there if you don't take those shoes and sun hat off.

Speaker 2 23:06

Wait, how is my sun hat slowing me down?

Speaker 1 23:08

It's not, it's just ridiculous.

Speaker 2 23:11

Whoa, did you know that Channel Island pride is one of the most attended events in the islands?

Speaker 1 23:16

Yes, and this year they're going huge, with a main stage, a cabaret stage and performances from Top Drag Queens, local artists, silent disco, dance tent and some exciting headlining acts yet to be announced.

Speaker 2 23:29

Quick. Do you need anything from Duty Free? Have you packed protection?

Speaker 1 23:33

Of course I have It's Factor 30. Not that kind Oh.

Speaker 2 23:38

Come and pie with us at Channel Island pride in Jersey Saturday, the 16th of September.

Speaker 1 23:43

It's only a 40 minute flight from most UK airports. So pack your speedos, pack your sunnies, pack your sun cream and we'll see you at the beach. For more information, head to channelinansprideorg.

Speaker 2 24:00

So you know, just before you called me when we was about to record, yeah, i was actually crying because I just watched the finale of I Kissed a Boy and it was amazing. Have you seen it?

Speaker 1 24:09

No, do you know what? I seldom watched any of it.

Speaker 2 24:11

All right, you need to get on it so that we can talk about it in full length details, because it's so good.

Speaker 1 24:16

Okay, well, i've just had two very emotional weddings and I was not in emotional capacity to start watching I Kissed a Boy.

Speaker 2 24:22

Okay, that's fair, that's fair. But do you know, what's made me realize is how amazing it is that we've had a show that's all about like gay love and queer love and just sort of seeing it in a really natural way, because I feel like a lot of TV dramas and things that have gay characters in always ends like quite bad and it's always a bit like heavy, isn't it?

First Kiss and Queer Love

Speaker 1 24:42

Yeah, yeah, that's true.

Speaker 2 24:43

So, yeah, i think that's what it brought to you, mike, because they were talking about all their coming out stories. Some were really positive, some not so much, but they basically all ended positive because they were saying how much they've now found their like queer family and how accepted they are and how loved. And then because it was the finale. Obviously I don't want to give away any spoilers, but their friends and family come to watch the final Kiss Off. So it's like will you commit to this boy outside of the show?

Speaker 1 25:09

Oh gosh, I would not like that bit.

Speaker 2 25:12

Yeah. So they're all there like friends and family, hoping that their friends' partner is going to turn around and kiss them. So yeah, but it was lovely. It was so nice. It was just really just genuine, i think, and just as I say, nice to see a show that just celebrates queer love rather than it all being like really dramatic and sad.

Speaker 1 25:28

Yeah, i mean, you do cry at everything.

Speaker 2 25:30

That is true. Do you get quite sensitive, don't I?

Speaker 1 25:33

You cry when the bus turns up on time, like I cried at Beyonce.

Speaker 2 25:41

Let me tell you that She was amazing, was she? Yeah, she was so good. But, yeah, i kissed the boy. It was so, so good And it made me think. Do you remember the first boy that you kissed?

Speaker 1 25:52

Yes, i actually do vividly. How old were you? I was Okay, so there's technically two. The first one I'm not going to count. I'm going to count the next one because that is the one that I actually happened And I was like huh, maybe this is actually what I want now.

Speaker 2 26:09

But what was the first one then? Like a dare.

Speaker 1 26:11

No, it was like a. It was just like a drunk and mess in a field.

Speaker 2 26:14

Oh, right, okay Yeah.

Speaker 1 26:15

And I didn't really think anything of it. Uh-huh, no, i remember it was. It was my first year at college, so I was really quite late.

Speaker 2 26:21

This is when you just moved to London, right UK.

Speaker 1 26:24

Yeah, so I just moved to I was living in Guilford actually And I met this guy. We sat next to each other in choir. I mean, does it get much good? and that's.

Speaker 2 26:37

It's very gay already. I love it.

Speaker 1 26:40

And just I remember being really really comfortable talking to this person. I was like, oh, this guy's great, he's like really good fun, this is Benji still being like I think I'm straight, but who really knows. And then we were talking loads. He got my number somehow and we were like texting me and we were just keeping it really chill And then cut to. It was a Halloween ball. You know how I love a ball. Too, if you're lucky, it was a Halloween ball and I was dressed as Simba the lion.

Speaker 2 27:12

Okay, this story gets more and more gay as you tell it, wait till I send you a picture.

Speaker 1 27:18

I just look like sunburnt and electrocuted all at the same time. It was bad. I wasn't really orange, i was like pink, but anyway I was sexy. Simba, he was dressed up as have you seen up the Disney film?

Speaker 2 27:34

Yeah, the granddad in the house and the balloons.

Speaker 1 27:36

Yeah, one of them wears like shorts and a t-shirt and a backpack with balloons.

Speaker 2 27:39

Yes, yeah, like a scouts boy.

Speaker 1 27:41

Which I think must be the little boy which I hadn't really considered before.

Speaker 2 27:46

The twink character, basically yeah.

Speaker 1 27:48

We're going to move right on past that bit. yeah, basically It was a Disney ball. just by the way, we hadn't both randomly come as characters and we were just like dancing on the dance floor And I was so drunk and all of a sudden it happened. The kiss Yeah and everyone saw, and I don't even know how I felt about it. I think he realized I was quite embarrassed and then he just whisked me away from where we left the pie, oh yeah.

Speaker 2 28:12

Okay, that's actually a really nice story. But then what was the aftermath? because then I imagine the next day of the anxiety kicking in like oh my goodness, everyone's in. I've now like outed myself. Maybe I'm not ready to tell the world that just yet. I need to discover what I like.

Speaker 1 28:26

Yeah, i mean, my best mate, who luckily actually was at college at the same time as me, called me the next morning, was like I'm on my way to yours, i'm bringing breakfast and we're having a chat. I was like, oh my goodness, it's happening. I'm terrified, but it was coming out. It was lovely. Yeah, and weirdly he then came out two years later anyway, so it was actually quite nice.

Speaker 2 28:42

That's really lovely.

Speaker 1 28:44

But yeah, my first kiss was actually also the first time I'd slept with a guy.

Speaker 2 28:50

That escalated really quickly, ticked all the boxes off. Okay, simba, shagging the twink character from up is not an image. I thought I was going to have my head today. Not sure how I would feel about it.

Speaker 1 29:01

Well, just to change the image, it was actually the other way around back then.

Speaker 2 29:05

Hang on, he shagged you. Yeah, i thought you were top only.

Speaker 1 29:09

I very much am, but yeah, back then it was a bit different. Anyway, when was your first kiss?

Speaker 2 29:13

Hang on. Wait, wait, wait. We asked what this is? brand new information, yeah, so hang on. You bottomed for the first time that night Yeah, the first and only time, or a few more times after, and then realized A few more times after and then realized. With the same guy.

Speaker 1 29:27

Yeah, i was then with him for two and a bit years.

Speaker 2 29:32

Okay, so then you became boyfriends, wow.

Speaker 1 29:34

Yeah, well, we officially like three months after, but yes, Wow Yeah there you go.

Speaker 2 29:38

Kiss the boy and pop your cherry all at the same time.

Speaker 1 29:41

If you're going to get it done, you may as well do it all. You know. If you're going to paint the walls, you may as well change the carpet.

Speaker 2 29:46

So we'll just go all at once Wow, that is yeah, that is like forced him ahead. Yeah, so Well, good for you. Thank you, good for you.

Speaker 1 29:58

Thank you very much. and then I twisted that relationship and then he became the bottom for the next like year and a half, which was much better for me, yeah. Anyway what about yours?

Speaker 2 30:08

I actually kissed a girl before I kissed a boy. Is that the same for you as well?

Speaker 1 30:12

Yeah, fully.

Speaker 2 30:13

Yeah, so the first time I kissed anyone was a girl. I was at school and I was like 16 at the time. I was a bit of a late bloomer developer in that kind of respect. I feel like everyone in my year was starting to kiss, have boyfriends, girlfriends, but yeah, i just like had none of that going on.

Speaker 1 30:30

And we're still waiting for you to bloom, don't worry.

Speaker 2 30:32

Yeah, literally, and I remember being hang on. I just heard what you said then. Probably That is so rude. We spoke about body count. My body count, as we know, is up there, so I've had my experience. Now, honey, it was nice, you're like you know I was a late bloom.

Speaker 1 30:50

I was like well, we're still waiting for you to bloom. Oh my goodness, sorry, sorry, this is your time. sorry, carry on. This is my moment.

Speaker 2 31:02

This is my moment I love a bit of Marty McCutcheon.

Speaker 1 31:07

Get your time. Oh my goodness, so funny. Sorry, i know, literally this is your moment.

Speaker 2 31:18

So I was 16 years old at a party, never done anything with anyone, then started playing, spin the bottle and I remember, you know, started to like kiss on the cheek, cool, Whatever. Then it was like kiss on the lips, like okay, cool. Then it was like a snog. I remember feeling so nervous because I was like these I'm with this group of people that have all snogged someone before. I don't even know how to do it, like do you put the tongue in? do you not put the tongue in? like how does it even work with the lips? It was, it was a lot, yeah, and I was panicking and it landed on me and I was like fuck, i'm gonna have to snog someone now, in front of all these people, and this is gonna be my first snog ever. I'm gonna be horrendous.

Speaker 1 31:58

Sorry, just a second. the way you say snog actually makes me a little bit sick, snog.

Speaker 2 32:08

Anyway. So it landed on this girl and we just done school play together and we got on really well so I was like cool, at least it's someone that I have like a good friendship with. And I remember leaning over and whistling in her ear before we snogged I was like I've never snogged anyone before. She's like don't worry, be fine. And then she basically led the way and there we go. That was my first, first snog.

Speaker 1 32:28

Wow.

Speaker 2 32:29

And I probably had like a massive boner as well, and everyone was just staring horrendous thinking about it. to be honest, Well, a boner. A massive one. thank you A boner. So that was the first time I ever kissed a girl.

Speaker 1 32:43

Did you like it?

Speaker 2 32:44

I think I just, yeah, i enjoyed generally that sort of attention at that age because I've never had it before.

Speaker 1 32:50

Oh, i mean, i was just quoting Kate's period, wasn't it?

Speaker 2 32:55

I just got what you said. then I kissed a girl and I thought I liked it at the time and then a few years later realized I didn't like it because I like the boy kisses instead.

Speaker 1 33:08

You, i swear you're still drunk from hate blood.

Speaker 2 33:11

I think I might be. Today has been a hangover day, honestly. I was at work earlier and someone came up to me and was like you're really hungover, aren't you? I was like no, why, what makes you think that? And we're really good friends? They were just like just your voice is about two octaves lower than usual. You just look like you've not had any sleep for like two days. You might be right.

Speaker 1 33:35

That reminds me of that bridesmaid scene which is like do you feel sick? It's like, no, actually I'm hungry.

Speaker 2 33:45

And like the sweat trickling down, she knows, she knows, she's like oh, sugardarmond, i would love one.

Speaker 1 33:54

I love that scene, i love that film. Oh, that film was my favorite. Yeah, okay, well, that's interesting.

Speaker 2 34:01

Cute And then discovered boys. and then the rest is history. The rest is history. No, the rest is history.

Speaker 1 34:08

Oh, my goodness, no, this is why you're not allowed to write the scripts. But I did see, because you shared it, that Dany Minogue has just announced her next TV program.

Speaker 2 34:19

She has. I'm very excited for this. It is I Kiss the Girl Yeah and we actually chatted about this.

Speaker 1 34:25

It's almost like we had the inside scoop.

Speaker 2 34:26

I know I wish we did, but no, that was pure fluke.

Speaker 1 34:29

But what's interesting, i had a message come through somebody that I actually know personally who listens to the podcast, and she said oh, i listened to the episode and I just want to say thank you so much for what you said about if they did, i kissed a girl and how lesbians and more female on female couples are so sexualized in the media. She's like because no one ever brings that up and I think it's really good that you boys have, and then literally cut to the announced the TV show. So I'm going to be really interested to see if it's received as well as a kiss the boy.

Speaker 2 35:02

Yeah, do you know what I was thinking about this? Because I feel like I don't know that much about lesbian culture, to be honest, and I think this is going to be really educational for me, because when I watch the kiss the boy and they're all talking about sexual preferences and making all the jokes, obviously, like get all those jokes, the jokes that we have with our friendship group, and yeah, it's like I'm watching my mates. So I wondered, with I kiss the girl, like the jokes that they would have and like the kind of chat and the banter and what they would talk about.

Speaker 2 35:32

Because I think, it would be different conversations And actually I'm really intrigued to find out a bit more about that culture.

Speaker 1 35:38

To be honest, Yeah, i mean I think culture wise they're probably quite similar to the gay scene, like the music etc. Maybe. Yeah, i mean I am just assuming from what I have seen in sort of the bars that I go into.

Speaker 2 35:54

Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 35:56

But yeah, I know what you mean, like the topics that we have, like the troubles that we might have, the terminology that we use to describe other people within our community. I don't really know that as much for them.

Speaker 2 36:06

Yeah, for example, gays were talking about who's top, who's bottom, like douche-in techniques, like gay sex stuff, right, right. But then I was like, oh, i wonder what lesbians would discuss.

Speaker 1 36:17

Yeah.

Speaker 2 36:17

Like sexual positions and preferences. I don't know. I'm just really intrigued. It's going to be amazing education for me. I'm really excited about it actually.

Speaker 1 36:25

Yeah, i think we in our community we sort of talk about tops and bottoms and like dominance, of misuse, but obviously then you have the relationships where they're both first-tile and both sort of equal power within the bedroom Let's put it that way. And then is that the same for girls? I don't know, it's the one that is normally more like more of a dominant and a more aggressive.

Speaker 2 36:45

Yeah, that's so true. I don't know that.

Speaker 1 36:47

Yeah, interesting.

Speaker 2 36:49

Well, we are definitely going to be watching and we'll be learning all sorts. I can't wait, yeah.

Speaker 1 36:53

I just really hope, I really really hope it doesn't get overly sexualized, because I think that will completely take away everything that the program is probably trying to achieve.

Speaker 2 37:02

That is so true, But it is by the same company. It's Danny Monogh's hosting again. So imagine if it's done in the same way. I found watching like Kista Point. It was very like loving and done in like quite a nice way.

Speaker 1 37:12

Yeah, I'm just a bit of a. Is this a cynic? Is that the right word? I'm just a bit, i don't know. I get very protective and a little bit nervous about these sorts of things, especially when it's put into the media, because then, like you, can't control what the papers say and what they pick out, and I just don't want to have a repercussion because I think there is a stigma still within the queer community that the gay community is celebrated much more. Being gay man and being a gay woman, yeah, yeah. So I just hope they feel represented in the right way.

Speaker 2 37:39

Me too, me too.

Speaker 1 37:41

Well, I guess we will see. Can you imagine, though just a quick thought Can you imagine if we did do a Kista Boy and we both ended up on the show?

Speaker 2 37:55

As a couple or separate.

Speaker 1 37:56

Well, either or.

Speaker 2 37:58

That would be kind of funny. But then you know that first bit, when they walk to each other to meet each other for the first time, i'm like what are you doing here? Get your miz, i'm not kissing that. No, get that fire exit door, i'm out.

Speaker 1 38:13

But that's a good point, Like how do they guarantee that you won't know the people on the show already?

Speaker 2 38:17

That is so true. Yeah, that must be like background checks, right.

Speaker 1 38:20

I would hope so. I kind of wish I did a background check on you, to be honest. But anyway, podcast is. that is all we have time for on this week's episode of My Big Gay Podcast. If you don't already, please head over to our Instagram. It's at Big Gay Podcast. Give us a follow and check out our Instagram content. You can also head over to our website, which is mybiggaypodcastcom.

Speaker 2 38:40

And did you see Beyonce? Did you go to Mighty Hoopla? What are your pride plans? Let us know, slip on into those DMs.

Speaker 1 38:47

But, like I said, that is all we have time for on this week's episode. Until next time, see you next.

Speaker 2 38:52

Wednesday Benji, would you ever do reality TV?

Speaker 1 38:58

Um, i'm not sure. I'm not completely against it, why? What about you?

Speaker 2 39:01

Okay, don't laugh, but I did apply for Big Brother this year.

Speaker 1 39:05

Oh my god, nobody wants that.

Speaker 2 39:08

So you might see him on my screens in the summer.

Speaker 1 39:11

I will not be seeing you on my screen.

Speaker 2 39:16

If you had your way, you'll be doing the charm. Get Brad out, get.

Speaker 1 39:21

Brad out Big Brother House. This is Benji Brad, as the most unpopular member of the house And of the podcast, please leave the recording studio immediately.

Speaker 2 39:37

I've already packed your case, get out, i've already packed all your clothes, including your pink cape.